09-10-25 - BR - WED - Couple Saves World's Oldest Drive In - Slug Doorbell Ditches Family In Bavaria - Which NFL Fans Are Heaviest Drinkers - Remembering Dewey Hopper And Stew Tracy

Summary

---

Holmberg's Morning Sickness (98KUPD) — Episode Summary

Date: September 10, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Major Themes:

• The role of media and society in major crimes
• Odd and uplifting news stories
• Pop culture references and comedic tangents
• Radio show banter, fan interaction, and Arizona local flavor

---

Episode Overview

This episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness dives into current events with the show’s trademark irreverent humor, lively banter, and sharp Arizona angle. The hosts open with a serious discussion of a viral murder case on public transit, unpack its media coverage, and push back against political polarization over a tragedy. The show then shifts to quirky news items, regional stories (including a couple saving the world’s oldest drive-in), and the usual irreverent takes on pop culture and sports. Listeners get a potent mix of analysis, humor, and local nostalgia—sprinkled with memorable tangents and references to Phoenix media personalities of yesteryear.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Murder Case on Public Transit: Society, Media, and Politics

Timestamps: 01:09–13:09 | Main Segment

• Incident Overview: John addresses dozens of listener emails about a recent killing of a young Ukrainian woman on a public transportation route in the Carolinas, dissecting both the facts and public response.
• Victim-Blaming & Societal Safety: The hosts criticize the media’s fixation on the victim’s appearance or “why she was alone.” (John, 01:15)
  • “The only thing to walk away from on that is be more skeptical and cynical of society.” — John (03:11)
  • “Your situational awareness...but you’re trusting the world is not going to do this to you.” — Brady (02:16)
• Media & Political Polarization: The group rails against the way news outlets inflame division, framing the tragedy with racial or partisan undertones.
  • “When did we lose the plot?... Murder’s bad.” — John (03:36)
• Bystander Effect & Consequences: Discussion highlights public hesitation to intervene in violent acts—citing fear of legal, financial, or reputational repercussions from involvement (Daniel Penny case in NYC).
  • “You can lose your life, livelihood.” — John (06:18)
• Rejection of Conspiracy & Political Framing: John and Brady lampoon emails suggesting the incident was staged to justify military policing, but acknowledge society’s deep-seated suspicion and blame culture.
  • “Can we at least be united on that one? It’s not that you can change anything...” — John (04:37)
  • “It's just sad... I don't know how anybody's finding politics in this.” — John (12:49)
• Mental Health as Excuse: John is critical of “mental health” being used to shirk accountability.
  • “You can’t have the excuse of, ‘I’m a little bit crazy.’ You gotta feel sorry for me. That’s why I killed that person.” — John (09:00)

2. Transition: Banter & Light News

Timestamps: 13:09–16:50

• Quick Wit & On-Air Flubs: Brady fumbles the day of the week, to razzing from John—showcasing the show’s spontaneous humor.
  • “Good Tuesday morning—Good Wednesday morning to you, Phoenix.” — Brady (13:09)
  • “You made it like a loop de loop of words... Seamless.” — John (13:36)

3. The Brayer Report: Fun Facts & Oddities

Timestamps: 16:50–27:00

• Fun Trivia:
  • NBA court fits inside a soccer penalty box (15:01)
  • Ancient Chinese ate tea leaves as vegetables (16:04)
  • If you’re allergic to cats, you’re also allergic to lions and tigers (16:12)
• Rooster Tavern Charity: $2,500 raised for the Humane Society during John's birthday show (16:23)
  • “This show might be dying according to the executives, but sure is kicking ass when it comes to doing stuff.” — John (16:34)
• Music Trivia: Huey Lewis' perfect SAT math score (16:58)

4. Human Interest News & Quirky Stories

Timestamps: 17:30–24:05

• Family in Texas has first baby girl in over 100 years (17:30)
• Couple saves world's oldest drive-in movie theater—Shankweiler's, PA (17:45–19:43): Hosts riff on the futility and charm of drive-ins, poke fun at ticket-taker romance.
  • “She married the dude in the box tearing tickets. What a lose.” — John (19:24)
  • “It's just Netflix in a field.” — John (21:03)
• Slug rings doorbell in Bavaria, Germany:
  • Linguistic riff: “Klingelstrek” (21:25)
  • Hosts go on a comedic tangent about animal group names (23:01)
• NFL Fan Drinker Survey: Cardinals fans drink the most (24:31–27:15)
  • “You don’t get a championship, but you got one of those.” — John (25:35)
  • Packers/Steelers surprisingly low; group questions survey honesty.

5. More Pop Culture & Product News

Timestamps: 27:15–36:18

• Sunscreen-flavored ice cream (Van Leeuwen x Carnival Cruises)
• New Girl Scouts Cookie: Explore Mores
• Cracker Barrel Remodel Controversy:
  • Explores why some customers object to modernized restaurants, suggesting it’s about comfort/insecurity more than tradition or “DEI” issues.
  • “They want that place to feel like one stiff wind might knock it down and they can go in there with no shoes on...” — John (32:44)
• Country cultural blend: Tangents about Waffle House, Steak 44, locality, tribal food preferences.

6. Viral Video Reactions & Physical Comedy

Timestamps: 36:18–41:22

• Radio Videos:
  • Fake politician burp, motorcycle crash with five girls, subway attack, pretend “orgasm” therapy, Swedish health minister falls off stage.
  • Hosts riff irreverently, but return frequently to video violence and unpredictability in the world (“Nobody even could have made a move. Yeah. She started to tip and nobody in the front row did a thing about it.” — John, 41:02).

7. Outrageous & Surreal Online Clips

Timestamps: 41:22–47:43

• Italian rat hunting, surgical extractions from butts, straight-razor beard licking, anus-propane torch, underwater sexual hijinks
• The hosts invent a “what happens next?” game and react with escalating horror, laughter, and disbelief.

8. Arizona Nostalgia: Remembering Dewey Hopper & Stu Tracy

Timestamps: 49:22–56:03

• Old School Phoenix News People:
  • Bittersweet and playful reminiscence about local newsmen Dewey Hopper (Channel 12) and Stu Tracy (Channel 5).
  • Jokes abound about rumors of Tracy’s mishaps and Hopper’s flamboyance.
  • “Dewey Hopper had a lot in his ass. He was a gay weatherman at channel 12 for a while. Came out to our school at Roosevelt Elementary.” — John (50:01)
  • “He was so above weather. This area here is weather. And then there’s weather here where this...” — John (54:55)

---

Notable Quotes & Moments

• “Murder’s bad. Like, when did we lose that plot?” — John (03:36)
• “If you get involved, you can lose your life, livelihood.” — John (06:18)
• “This show might be dying according to the executives, but sure is kicking ass when it comes to doing stuff.” — John (16:34)
• “She married the dude in the box tearing tickets.” — John (19:24)
• “It’s just Netflix in a field.” — John (21:03)
• “They want that place to feel like one stiff wind might knock it down and they can go in there with no shoes on...” — John (32:44)
• “Huey Lewis got a perfect score on the math portion of the SATs.” — Brady (16:58)

---

Key Timestamps for Major Segments

• 01:09-13:09 Murder discussion, media/politics, public safety
• 13:09-16:50 Banter and fun facts, charity mention
• 17:30-24:05 Human interest: drive-in, Texas family, slug doorbell
• 24:31-27:15 NFL drinking survey
• 27:15-36:18 Product news, Cracker Barrel rant
• 36:18-41:22 Radio videos and viral video commentary
• 41:22-47:43 Outrageous online clips, “what happens next?”
• 49:22-56:03 Arizona media nostalgia (Dewey Hopper, Stu Tracy)

---

Tone & Style

• Intelligent irreverence: Critical takes on major news, with comedic and facetious asides.
• Local flavor: Heavy references to Arizona culture, Phoenix media icons, and local listener input.
• Shock & humor: Uncensored discussions of viral videos and bodily-function stories.
• Banter & camaraderie: Playful ribbing among hosts, frequent quick-witted back-and-forth.

---

For New Listeners

• Expect a whirlwind from heavy social commentary to absurd vulgarity.
• The hosts challenge political and cultural narratives but keep the dialogue comedic.
• Nostalgia, inside jokes, and local Phoenix references abound—making it equally pointed and endearing for Arizonans.
• Listener engagement is crucial: emails spark serious and light-hearted debate.

---

End of Summary.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. It's John Holmberg here. For the amazing people at the Core Institute. Getting used to chronic pain is something that we can all find ourselves doing and not realize we're doing it. And I needed four procedures. I had a lot going on. Two shoulder replacements and yes, at my age, even two hip replacements. But you know what? I'm better today than I've been in 20 years. And now I'm back. Basketball, pain free, running, pain free, throwing a baseball or football, pain free. And I can box again. It's, it's exciting because I look forward to the things I love. You don't have to live with pain anymore. Go to the core institute.com Limu Emu and Doug Limu and I always tell you to customize your car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual. But now we want you to feel it. Cue the Emu music. Limu. Save yourself money today.

[Brady]

Increase your wealth.

[John Holmberg]

Customize and save. We save. That may have been too much feeling.

[Brady]

Only pay for what you [e-mail] Liberty Liberty.

[John Holmberg]

Savings very unwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance Company and affiliates.

[Brady]

Excludes Massachusetts.

[John Holmberg]

Holberg's morning sleepers.

[Brady]

Morning sickness.

[John Holmberg]

People are emailing me Brady and asking this question. They're saying, holberg, I'm surprised you're not talking about why a gorgeous white woman working minimum wage job at a pizza place, taking a public transportation vessel and was murdered. Why she can't get a guy to take her to and from work. That's a good point. The girl, the Ukrainian girl that was on the public transport. I don't know how it works in the Carolinas. All I know is Phoenix public transport. I get a lot of emails going, what's your take on that? I'm like, man, that, that's. If you've seen the video of this Ukrainian girl who gets stabbed on this train. Just, it is, it's awful. And I hate everything about what's been done about it. I, you know, there's nothing about it that's normal. There's nothing about it. And that's the thing you do. I talk about all that self defense stuff and things. You can't defend yourself from that. No, there's, it's no idea. And here's where you can defend yourself. Don't sit in front of people. Just be more cognizant of sitting in front of someone and not knowing who they are.

[Brady]

It's what's the main thing that. Knowing your surroundings.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Your situational awareness. But you're trusting that the world is not going to do this to you.

[Brady]

And you've ridden that route probably. You know, even if she was doing it for a month, you're like, just my everyday commute.

[John Holmberg]

Look. And I do always make jokes about, like, if you're pretty and you're on a bus or a train, you've. You've destroyed your. She's an immigrant who was literally taken out of a bomb shelter and brought to the States with her mother, I think. And, like, this. This thing is. It's a surprise attack. So, yeah, the only thing to walk away from on that is be more skeptical and cynical of society. And when you get on public transportation, leave a space between you and the person. If there's room to sit away from a person, do it. Keep your eyes on everyone. And that's so sad in itself to say that. That. That's so pathetic. But it's reality and it's awful. And I hate so much that we live in a country where people are picking sides on this. It's become political. Like, you know, even that. Even that letter, a beautiful white woman, you know, a black guy. And I watched on the news last night, and, like, I guarantee this would be a bigger deal if it was a black woman stabbed by a white. I'm like, murder's bad. Like, when did we lose that plot? When did we as a society lose the plot to say, yeah, murder's always bad. There was a guy on TV yesterday talking about, I don't know what this is, Donald Trump's maga. People seem to be, you know, jumping all over. I'm like, yeah, murder's bad. It's. Did you see the video? Did you just watch it? It is. Somebody just sent it to me. Awful. It's awful. I. I can't grasp. And the dude was in 14th. I mean, look, if you hate Trump, you can hate him all day. I can't watch that. Like, the whole video. I've only seen up to the point where he's about. He hits in the neck. Did you see the one after? Was she sitting there holding her neck, like. Like she's bleeding to death and no one helps her. I mean, it is just insane. She's not dead yet. She's looking at a guy, like, what just happened? Or some dude, like, standing right there. Blood is pouring off of that. It's just awful.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And I just don't. You know what? If you hate Trump, still hate this without worrying about whether or not it's politicized and just be a human being and don't make this about politics. And if you love Trump, don't make this about politics. This is just bad. No, there's no red or blue on this. And the media is trying to make it. One side's winning and one side's losing. And, you know. Yeah, he was released 14 times from jail, and a, quote, liberal judge let him. Who cares? Dude's a murderer. Whatever happened in the past, we can't learn from that anymore. That it's murder's bad. We need to get back on that pit. Can we at least be united on that one? It's not that you can change anything or start passing law. Murder's already against the law. This is just pure tragedy, period. End of story. Dude, should have been this could have been that doesn't matter. What I don't understand and what can change is getting involved. You're not stopping the guy. Everybody on the news was like, what would you have done? Well, I'd have beat him up. I'm like, no, you wouldn't have. You'd have been in shock. There's a good chance you would have taken a swing.

[Brady]

Maybe you're talking about, like, if you saw it.

[John Holmberg]

If you're sitting next to that. Yeah, you're. It's gonna take you seven or eight seconds.

[Brady]

I've got nothing.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's gonna take you seven or eight seconds to think what just happened.

[Brady]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Is that girl bleeding? And by then he's standing off. I'm not worried about a guy with a knife. They scare me to death. But it's not. I'm never gonna think, well, he's got a knife. I can't do anything.

[Brady]

I probably. I mean, I'm not going to confront him at that point.

[John Holmberg]

No, he's willing to kill.

[Brady]

I'm going to.

[John Holmberg]

If you don't know what's out of there, if you know what you're doing, that's it. You help the girl. Put your fingers on that.

[Brady]

They all.

[John Holmberg]

One girl. One lady looked at her phone like, more like, oh, I'm not getting involved in this. It's so awful. And you know who's to blame. This sounds really crazy. The media people didn't help because the last time someone did, they ruined that guy's life. I forget his name. Daniel something. They ruined that dude's life, and he attacked someone who was gonna kill somebody, and he beat him up and he killed him, and they tried to put him in jail. And he turned out to be sort of on the subway. Yeah. And that dude stopped something like, well, the guy killed didn't do anything yet. Yeah, but he was threatening people's lives. People's lives were in danger like he did. But now it's like, if you get involved, you can, you can lose your life, livelihood. I'll say it's sad. And people email and go, what's your take on that? It's murder. I don't care. I don't care.

[Brady]

It's all, if she was beautiful, what were they looking for? What's your take on it?

[John Holmberg]

Have you watched the news about this at all? It's all gone. It's all gone.

[Brady]

Politics about the background of Biden.

[John Holmberg]

Biden's America caused it. Trump's America is trying to fix it. We need, now, we need National Guard in the streets and wherever in North Carolina. Clean it up now. And the Democrats are like, well, of course Trump's going to try to, you know, pump up his anti crime agenda. I'm anti crime. Yeah, sorry. I don't care if she was. I don't care if she was fat or ugly or disgusting or beautiful or whatever. And media does tend to lean in on pretty women getting things happening to them more than an ugly person would. But this is just, and it's fear based. You know who loves it is the news. Fox, cnn, all of them. Whatever side you're on, they love showing it. It's great video for them. It's salacious, it's horrifying, it scares you and scaring you. The general public sells product that is tried and true.

[Brady]

So, yeah, turn it into a political thing.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, then you can make it live for months. But I just, I just believe we should all at the very base of humanity agree that there's no argument that murder is bad and we should, we should try to stop it if we have a chance. It. We're not gonna. It's always going to exist. It always has, it always will. But in these situations, to never once say it has something to do with what we didn't do five years ago, or we should have banned this or that doesn't matter. Hindsight, police are disgusting. I mean, I don't get not helping her, but I also don't like the. What would you have done? Oh, I got involved. I might have chased the guy down and kicked his ass. It's like, maybe, or you might have sat there and gone, what the hell just happened? And then the dude's gone and you call 91 1.

[Brady]

They still haven't gotten the gun.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. Oh, they got him.

[Brady]

They got him.

[John Holmberg]

They charged him. But it's. It's remarkable.

[Brady]

Charge him. Should have shot him right there.

[John Holmberg]

I agree with that. It's not. And then, you know, and then hiding behind mental health and all this other stuff, it's just like, no murders. Wrong. You can't be. You can't have the excuse of, oh, I'm a little bit crazy. You got to feel sorry for me. That's why I killed that person. Back in the olden days, when you were crazy and killed someone, you were a crazy murderer. That's all it was. You just, You're. They didn't go, oh, he's got mental health issues. You gotta help him. No, you're just a crazy person who murders now. You're not crazy, and we feel sorry for you, and you murdered just a crazy murderer. Anyway, so I've gotten a lot of emails. I didn't really want to dive in because I know why I'm getting these emails. To see if I stand on a side. Yeah, my side is all. Murder's awful. Especially that type where it's just a person who didn't even know the other guy. Just a stabbing for the sake of it. I don't want to hear from him. I don't want to analyze it. There's no reason to worry about. Well, he's had mental issues. Yeah, he's got mental issues. He's a murderer. And yes, we can arrest our way out of these things and put people in jail who belong in jail anyway. So there, you've asked the question. It's a miserable story. We're a fart show. Of course. Am I going to get one. I'm going to get one political side right off the bat. See, this is what going on. This is the media's fault. People can't just say it was a. What does it say it was a psych op to start getting military police on? All right, Carlos, I'm not gonna. Oh, yeah, that's not what it is. I. I'm not. I'm not against that thought not. I'm against the idea of it. I'm not saying that he's wrong. Carlos is saying that it was a plant. Basically, they murdered someone on a camera to make it awful. He's the patsy who's been in and out of jail 14 times for terrible things. He's a lifetime jail guy. And they basically say, we need you to go sit down for 14 years and we'll. We'll treat you better than you normally. But you killed us. Kill someone, we'll catch you. And then we'll have an excuse to put military on the streets. That is a conspiracy theory. That. That to me makes sense that I.

[Brady]

Don'T think that they're elections. Right. And we can organize this. Nine states.

[John Holmberg]

That's so easy to organize. Absolutely. You watch Better Call Saul. When they needed a bald guy that wanted to go to jail, they found a dude. His name's Kilkenny. And he'll do it. He likes sitting in jail. He wants to be there. He can't make it in society. He. That's the only place he gets a bed and food. So they just let him.

[Brady]

Won't ever be quiet. They'll tell somebody.

[John Holmberg]

No. They get paid to not do it. Their families. They can't. It's. It's a thing. Reality is Trump Tart made everything political in his mustard or mega tard cults followed suit. Okay, some of that's true. But in this particular situation, can we leave it alone? Just say that a. A girl was slaughtered for no reason whatsoever and maybe in the end it comes out your conspiracies are true or right.

[Brady]

What then?

[John Holmberg]

Right. But I'll tell you this. Trump was in charge eight years ago. Biden was in charge four years ago. Four. Four years. Trump's in charge again. And it's still happen. So all of you support someone who could have done something. In hindsight, none of us did, John. Why can't we go back to the way it used to be? You kill someone, we kill you. Yeah, you do it like that. You're a threat to society. I just. I don't like to look. Mental health is a real thing, but hiding behind it and then feeling sorry for people who dis, I can't do it. And I do agree that somebody in and out of jail 15 or 16 times, you got to keep an eye on that. He shouldn't be out anyway. Stop emailing me about that. It's just sad. I don't know how anybody's finding politics in this. It's just sad. That's miserable. I don't care what politics anybody had. Murder is not a color anyway. Most beautiful, actually, what I just said. It's time now for Brady to give you the good fun news that we normally do and make fun of. Can't do that one. It's the Bray Report. It's brought to you by all Pro Shade Concepts, Arizona's best patio shades. Put some shade in your backyard, make your backyard beautiful and just flat better. AllProChade.com Brady reporting.

[Brady]

Good Tuesday morning to you. Good Wednesday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello, world.

[John Holmberg]

What happened?

[Brady]

What? That was a quick transition.

[John Holmberg]

Those pills again, man. Good cover. No one noticed.

[Brady]

Happy national TV dinner day. Good, good.

[John Holmberg]

Great cover. I mean, absolutely nobody heard you say the first it was pro.

[Brady]

How else could I have covered it?

[John Holmberg]

Just stop on Tuesday and go, it's not Tuesday.

[Brady]

Whoops.

[John Holmberg]

Good Wednesday morning. But you. Yeah, You've sped through it. That's why I liked you made it silly. You made it like a. You made it like a loop de loop of words. Did anybody notice? No. Seamless.

[Brady]

Oh, I wasn't expecting that to be like.

[John Holmberg]

I know. Don't get defensive. It was funny. Stop this. Don't be a baby. It was funny Wednesday morning. Hilarious.

[Brady]

Oh, couple of basis fun facts.

[John Holmberg]

Is the guy from the Rooster here? He's dropping off money from our birthday show. Will you go grab that?

[Brady]

Nice.

[John Holmberg]

The donation to the Humane Society. He's dumping that off. He's good. We're in the middle. I didn't get to. I didn't check my text. He was probably texting me the whole time. He's a good dude. Yeah. Go grab that from. Tell him thank you. And I think it was 2,500 bucks. It's pretty awesome for a night of drinking and goofing off over at the Rooster. That's a great bar, by the way. Head on up there. Tacoma or Thunderbird? Tacoma, thereabouts. Right. On Scottsdale Road. Awesome bar. Just recently discovered it. It's a blast. Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Brady]

A full size NBA basketball court can easily fit inside a soccer penalty box.

[John Holmberg]

Is that right?

[Brady]

I didn't know that either.

[John Holmberg]

Well, they have those big leather chairs and. No kidding. Huh?

[Brady]

An ancient.

[John Holmberg]

What's a. Wait, what's a soccer penalty box? You just get that little card and then everybody goes, boo. And then it just keeps going.

[Brady]

Is it the offside? So they're talking about like the penalty boxes where you get called for being inside the goal. You can't pass when you're making a shot.

[John Holmberg]

That could be.

[Brady]

I don't watch soccer because I don't.

[John Holmberg]

Think I'm a man. I don't watch soccer.

[Brady]

It's not like hockey where you're in a. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

An actual penalty. Yeah, yeah. Because they just come over.

[Brady]

I think it's the zone in the soccer.

[John Holmberg]

Because the penalties in soccer just. You get shown a paint swatch from Sherman Williams. Like yellow. It's alizarin. It's beautiful. And this Is we're going to paint our house a maze. The Indians call this maze. And then a bad one is like, oh, red, you have to go sit somewhere else. And you can't play next week either.

[Brady]

In ancient China, people ate tea like a vegetable.

[John Holmberg]

The leaves. Yeah, no kidding. Before it's all dried up.

[Brady]

Obviously something I need to go over again. If you're allergic to cats, it also means you're allergic to lions and tigers.

[John Holmberg]

So I am.

[Brady]

Don't climb in.

[John Holmberg]

Positive. I'm allergic to lies. Look at this. From the rooster to the Humane Society. The Rooster Tavern. $2,500 check in my hand. That's awesome. And that's just for my drunken birthday show. So thank you to the rooster and everybody who attended the awesome birthday show back there in early August. This show might be dying according to the executives, but sure is kicking ass when it comes to doing stuff. Ratings are good. Everything's good. They're rooting for us to die from on top.

[Brady]

People like that place. They asked if we were going to do something there.

[John Holmberg]

Again, Rooster was awesome. That's the best.

[Brady]

Huey Lewis got a perfect score on the math portion of the sats.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. It's hip to be square.

[Brady]

Wasn't he?

[John Holmberg]

When I first heard hip to be square, I thought hip to be was one word and it was a road he was talking about. He was on hip to be square.

[Brady]

Wow. Or like a place.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Hip to be square. It's like, it's hip to be square. And it's like, oh, where's that? If I had Google at the time, I would have looked it up. What's hip to be square? Is that in England.

[Brady]

There's a family in Texas celebrating its first baby girl in over a century. Firefighter Michael Sherman and his wife Jakia just found out they're having a daughter. Michael's side of the family has only had boys for 108 years, so the last Sherman girl was his great great aunt Aura in 1917. So his whole family went nuts after the gender reveal. Baby's doing March. They're checking to see if it might qualify for the Guinness world record. The Associated Press did a story on a couple in Pennsylvania who borrowed a million bucks to save the world's oldest drive in movie theater. Shankweiler's Drive in opened near Allentown, Pennsylvania.

[John Holmberg]

Don't.

[Brady]

Not going to do it. 1934.

[John Holmberg]

Thank you for stopping him, cuz. You could just see his lips. Person.

[Brady]

I knew someone would. That's why I did.

[John Holmberg]

No, we tell people why we stopped you and Then it gets better. If you'd have done it, we'd have hated you for a second.

[Brady]

It was America's second drive in Theater, the first open in New Jersey a year before that. So in 1933. It got demolished in 1940. But Lauren McChesney met her husband Matt, and before they tore this one down, he actually met at a drive in theater. She tore his. Her ticket into the Drive in Theater in 2019 or 2018, and they got married. They hit it off. She went to the drive in theater, and that's where she met him.

[John Holmberg]

Movie.

[Brady]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brady]

They get married. Fast forward in 2018. They got married in 2020.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, so they met at the drive in.

[Brady]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

He tore her ticket, and that's how they met. She married the dude in the box tearing tickets.

[Brady]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

What a lose.

[Brady]

And then together seven years ago.

[John Holmberg]

Marry that guy. There's no other.

[Brady]

They decided to save this in 2022. They're like, let's save this Drive in theater. Shankweiler's Drive.

[John Holmberg]

What a terrible investment that is. Yeah.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

There's a flag lady for you. Yeah, she's an idiot. She married a ticket ripper at the drive in, which was already dead. That's like marrying an overnight radio guy. No offense, Brett. Today, like back in the day, that used to be a thing. If you're still doing overnights and there are no overnight guys. No, that's true. It's like marrying an AM radio host.

[Brady]

Well, they said.

[John Holmberg]

Future. There you go.

[Brady]

They said the investment is paid off.

[John Holmberg]

Sure. Because they were making $12 a year. The bar was low.

[Brady]

They're open Thursday through Sunday. They charged 13 bucks for adults, $9 for kids.

[John Holmberg]

That'll go out of business. Open for a couple of years, five year maximum. They'll be begging for money.

[Brady]

No, what it is. They're not playing anything new.

[John Holmberg]

Right. They're doing. Yeah. They're playing on nostalgia because Cheap. Until people realize this sucks. The sound in these things.

[Brady]

Goonies again.

[John Holmberg]

Only as good as my stereo. Right. And then people won't want to see the Goonies for an eighth time. Time. Do you guys have any other movies?

[Brady]

Movies have a residency.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It's like Seline Dion on the screen, driving. Here we go.

[Brady]

Are they showing a new. New film?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. Toxic Avengers.

[Brady]

Screening weapons. There you go. New is.

[John Holmberg]

There you go. Johnny Billy Madison. They're just doing what Netflix does, which is just Milk. Terrible. Adam Sandler movies.

[Brady]

Yeah, it's just Netflix in a field.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, that's a good band name. Well, Shankweiler's Drive in Theater. Sounds like a place to get murdered.

[Brady]

It does.

[John Holmberg]

Deforvited. Probably would love to go to a movie there and stuff. Bodies and trunks. Nobody will notice.

[Brady]

There's this couple that live in Bavaria, southern Germany. And it's funny because we talked about the story last week about doorbell ditching. Well, they had been. It's been happening to them numerous times in this apartment complex, and they're trying to figure out who did it. I like how they talked about the term in German. It's what Klingelstrek.

[John Holmberg]

Turn did that not. There was no rejoiner in that sentence.

[Brady]

I like the name. Suggestions.

[John Holmberg]

There it is. Okay. Do you realize how hard it is sometimes when you get ahead of yourself?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

In the middle of a sentence, you just said in German, it's Klingerstecken. Is that part of the story, or are you just having an episode?

[Brady]

No, he says, I like it. I like it in German.

[John Holmberg]

And he told us what it was in German with no, like, clues. We were going there.

[Brady]

Thanks, though, because we've heard ding dong ditch, knock a door, run.

[John Holmberg]

Well, we are. We know what this is all about.

[Brady]

Ginger.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, that's enough. We're going. No, Ginger's as close as we need to get.

[Brady]

So they went.

[John Holmberg]

All the letters are there. Did you say keep going? Of course. He said he wants Brady to hit the big boy. Ding dong. Ginger is as far as we're going. Because if you started to play Boggle with that, you're gonna win in Brett's neighborhood. I see what I can make. Ginger spells. So, no, we're not going down this road.

[Brady]

So they went upstairs to check with their neighbor, see if they're doing it or the kids around there doing it. Ends up the culprit was a slug scaling up the wall over the doorbell. And by the time they get out there, it's already gone. Then they noticed a little slime on the. How long does it take them to get to the door? It's a slime slug. Yeah. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

They didn't notice the slug.

[Brady]

They didn't notice the slug.

[John Holmberg]

Answer it. The next day, unless the slug leaps off right. Then you'd see a dead slug.

[Brady]

It was a turbo slug.

[John Holmberg]

It would only happen once. Unless it was a team of slugs. What do they call it? A murder of slugs. A parliament. What is a gaggle of slugs?

[Brady]

Covey. A covey.

[John Holmberg]

Is it a C slug? Is that your guest? No, I would say bunch of slugs get caught. A pride.

[Brady]

A slime tribe.

[John Holmberg]

I Don't think that's too specific. What is it?

[Brady]

Looks like it could be called a route.

[John Holmberg]

A route of slugs. All right, there's one for all of us. What are people. What are.

[Brady]

What is a collection of people?

[John Holmberg]

A crowd, a group. What do they call us? A group. There's a bunch of humans in one spot called.

[Brady]

Called pack.

[John Holmberg]

A pack of humans or what are we?

[Brady]

I think you could.

[John Holmberg]

But what's a fish? Like you can say it, right?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You can say it for anything, but like, you can say a gaggle of wolves.

[Brady]

But crowd, mob, congregation. Strong gathers.

[John Holmberg]

So we're all flock Mass. Okay.

[Brady]

A new survey talked to more than 3,000 football fans about their drinking habits. Might have. They've been more honest. But the fan base with the heaviest drinker in football.

[John Holmberg]

What's that in Germany?

[Brady]

Philly?

[John Holmberg]

Chicago. Yeah.

[Brady]

Chicago. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

They're fat and they guzzle. Maybe Wisconsin.

[Brady]

Nearly 19% packers of this fan base is downing five or more drinks. Game day.

[John Holmberg]

Texas has a huge state.

[Brady]

You ready for this? Packers low.

[John Holmberg]

I'd say packers are kidding. Is it based on. Hold on. Timeout. Is it based on stadium size and how many beers are sold? And then they add that.

[Brady]

Ask these people, the fan base, the football fans. Do you drink when you go to a football game? Do you have five or more drinks? Do you have.

[John Holmberg]

You know, Browns, they gotta drink their sorrows away.

[Brady]

Cleveland also, the Browns were pretty low too.

[John Holmberg]

They LA.

[Brady]

Arizona Cardinals number one. All right, we win 19. I was just gonna say haven't been to a game in a while, but yeah, I guess I can.

[John Holmberg]

Nice job. Cardinal fans. Number one drinkers in the NFL. Yeah, hang your hat on that. You don't get a championship, but you got one of those.

[Brady]

Buffalo Bills are the next. Then the Texans, Carolina Panthers, Tennessee Titans. Commanders goes down the Steelers.

[John Holmberg]

Where are the Steelers?

[Brady]

Where? Seattle Seahawks fans were the second least of the Leafs were Green Bay packers then.

[John Holmberg]

I can't believe that.

[Brady]

Then the Seahawks than the Steelers.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, the Bears.

[Brady]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

Bears are in the middle somewhere. I figured they'd be high up.

[Brady]

Yes, Chicago Bears are pretty low too. They're like. It goes. Where were we? After the Steelers it goes Dolphins, Patriots, Chiefs, Bears, colts, Lions, bottom 10, Jets.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you said the Steelers were like third one up. They're like tenths up from the lowest.

[Brady]

No, Green Bay is the least amount at 3%. Seattle Seahawks are second. And then the Pittsburgh Steelers.

[John Holmberg]

How did you name all those other things off of them after that? You said Steelers and then there were like nine things.

[Brady]

You read after the Steelers, the next least team would be the Dolphins.

[John Holmberg]

So we're third. Cardinals are last in this study. If you flip it over where the.

[Brady]

Number was, The Browns are 20th.

[John Holmberg]

Gotcha. You sure you're reading that right? It seems like all the ones that should be drinking are on top of the don't drink list. I think you might have that backwards.

[Brady]

We're offended by your.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I am. I think that's backwards. It's not.

[Brady]

I'll let you know.

[John Holmberg]

I'm saying. I'm just. It just feels like they got the numbers upside down. Let me see.

[Brady]

Sure.

[John Holmberg]

NFL fan base that drinks the most is not Browns. Wow. Even in the headline, surprisingly, the packers fans say they drink the least, and that's a sign of alcoholism. So I still say the packers are the most. Is that when you ask them, how much do you drink?

[Brady]

How honest are these people? Out of the 3,000 people they surveyed.

[John Holmberg]

You go to Green Bay and say, are you got. How many drinks do you have a game? They're looking at you like, what are you, my mother?

[Brady]

Two.

[John Holmberg]

I have maybe one or two. Like, that's six.

[Brady]

They're filled up on cheese and brats.

[John Holmberg]

And that's at the game, prior to the game when they're tailgating. Nine, ten beers. They don't need to get it inside because it's so expensive. And they're.

[Brady]

And that might have something to do with it.

[John Holmberg]

Cheap, fat Green Bay, Wisconsin, people. So, yeah, we solved this.

[Brady]

Do they tailgate in Chicago? Where do they tailgate? It's all downtown, right. It's always in the parking lot right.

[John Holmberg]

There on the lakeshore. The lakeshore is loaded with tents and stuff and just in people's yards and like all all over the stadium. I went to a preseason game in Chicago once with my uncle. They were tailgating for that thing. It was against the Cardinals. Ironically, it was the last year the Cardinals were in St. Louis. Long time. H's Morning Sickness. 98 KUPD. Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

[Brady]

Van Leeuwen ice cream has teamed up with Carnival Cruises and they've put out a new flavor of ice cream. Sunscreen flavored ice cream.

[John Holmberg]

The smell is great. To be fair, I love the smell of sunscreen, so it might taste good.

[Brady]

Yeah. The ingredients include coconut cream, cocoa butter.

[John Holmberg]

I was just gonna say copper tone. Is. Smells good. Yeah, but it's still coconut. Smells like smell. Bronzing woman. Ask deforvited. That's a good smell. You just want to chop it. You want to quarter it and barbecue it. That's not barbecue. That's not suntan lotion. I know, but you want to barbecue the roasting woman. You know what I'm saying? It's a carnival cruise, for God's sakes.

[Brady]

The girl Scouts just unveiled their newest cookie flavor. They're called Explore Explore Mores. And it's like Rocky Road inspired.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Okay.

[Brady]

Chocolate cookies.

[John Holmberg]

When does that come in? Like, April. When did they get you?

[Brady]

January.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Brady]

On summer this year, they announced that they've mixed s' mores and toast jays, if you're a fan.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, those are those coconut messes.

[Brady]

They are. Is that the toast?

[John Holmberg]

I think the Toast Jays are the ones that have that. Those are Samoas. Samoas have coconut. What's the one that have, like, that roasted coconut in the cookie?

[Brady]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

I know Samoa's is covered in.

[Brady]

Those are the only ones I'm thinking of. Yeah, that's the one. Scott.

[John Holmberg]

I would literally rather shave Toledo's ass and lick the remnants than eat coconut.

[Brady]

When are we booking that?

[John Holmberg]

Do it. If I was in a prison cell, like, you have two choices. Eat coconut or the anal hair of your producer friend Dick Delito. Like, get the razor. I'm not eating coconut. That stuff is disgusting. I am proud to say that Pamela Anderson contacted me and said, I think it was Pamela Anderson at the Native. She's a very attractive lady named Pamela Anderson. And she came to me and said, oh, no, it wasn't her. It was the guy next to her goes, you ruined strawberries for me. I will never eat another one again. I'm like, why? Because I said, it's like biting a homeless man's nose full of blackheads. That's exactly right. Because if you squeeze a strawberry in a homeless man's nose, the same thing happens. A bunch of white seeds come out, and then you scrape it off with a frosting knife. Strawberries are gross too.

[Brady]

Did you see Cracker Barrel released a statement? You've shared your voices not just on our logo, but also our restaurants. Only four restaurants have been remodeled, and that's it.

[John Holmberg]

They're gonna stop?

[Brady]

Yep. They have 660 locations.

[John Holmberg]

One thing rednecks know. What you want is nice new interiors. It reminds them of what they don't have. That argument got lost on me, because it's like they're trying to remodel their stores. If you like the food, it shouldn't matter. They're taking away what we. I know what's going on here. You go to a Cracker Barrel, and if it's nicer than your house. You're gonna start feeling bad about yourself. So you have to go into a Cracker Barrel and feel like you went into some sort of dumpy barn. So you don't feel like you're in some country club and you don't fit in anymore. You want. Yeah. What if it don't look like the Boar's Nest? They don't want to be hanging out. Exactly. Because they want to wear overalls. They don't want to feel like they have to try.

[Brady]

I want my tea game.

[John Holmberg]

Cracker Barrel said, hey, guys, we're gonna step this up a little bit, make this place a little classier. And like, to hell with that. They got mad and acted like it was the old man on the porch that they were mad about getting rid of. They were mad about how it made them feel. Feel inside to walk into a nice place. You don't ever see the Waffle House changing. Because their clientele would feel, oh, I'm out of place. Suddenly I'm over here at the Paradise Valley Country Club. Got tea and crumpets on there. It's some sort of homo F word pancake house. Now I'm going over somewhere else. Make me feel like a man. What do you mean, I gotta wear a shirt? Yeah, that's what the Cracker Barrel argument was. Everybody tried to make that about racism or. Or white people being, you know, DEI'd out. I'm like, no, no, no, no. This is about hillbillies feeling bad about.

[Brady]

Their house chairs on the front porch.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, they want that. The Boar's Nest is a perfect comp. They want that place to feel like one stiff wind might knock it down. And they can go in there with no shoes on and, like, nails.

[Brady]

The ultimate. Unless you find a local place.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, no, that's their stake 44. And if you start turning it into things that people want to go to, they're going to start getting looks again. They're in a comfortable spot of equal people. I walk in there and they're going to go, oh, boy, here we go. Because I'm looking at them going, ew, I don't want to eat with these people. But if you start making it nice, more of me is going to show up and we're going to start. We're going to start phasing you. They weren't worried about phasing that old man out on the logo. They were about themselves getting phased out by a classier clientele. Which Cracker Barrel is like, I guarantee the meeting at Cracker Barrel. Before they change everything was like, how in the hell do we upgrade our clientele? Like, how do we make this place better? Like, we've got. We've got the hillbillies. They're staying. How do we get a decent group of people in here? It's like, we could paint it white. All right, let's give that a try. The hell you will.

[Brady]

CEOs like, oh, I just got finished with a round of golf, and I. Right, I looked at the clubhouse.

[John Holmberg]

Can you normalize things? Can you normalize Cracker Barrel to dudes in golf cleats? It's gonna make Jethro and his family feel horrible about having not showered to go eat. When a kid's got dirt on his face, the Cracker Barrel is okay to go in, take that away from him. Where are they going? Getting kicked out of every other decent place in the city. Make that all about white people being cast out. That was an insecurity from the clientele of the Cracker. And, man, did they throw a fit. One thing you want to. You don't want to do the other.

[Brady]

Thing is to the perception, like, oh, they did that. It's gonna be more expensive.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Price is gonna go up to pay for this. They're smart about that. You want something done in this country, piss off rednecks. They put heat on things and they are unrelenting and they pick bad battles. No one at Cracker Barrel thought this would happen. They didn't. Game plan one iota for what if the rednecks hate it? Not one bit. They didn't see that coming. But they weren't thinking about their people. They're poor, they're dirty. It's almost like when the Dukes of Hazzard brought him coin. Coin Vance. I mean, you know, that's what happened. Bring back Bone Loop. They were protesting Paramount and running.

[Brady]

Get them back.

[John Holmberg]

I don't care how much they want.

[Brady]

One year, two year run.

[John Holmberg]

One year, one season. Yeah. Byron, Cherry and I can never remember the other guy's name. Coy and Vance and I remember when Bo and Luke came back in their NASCAR outfits and showed up at the Boar's Nest in the helmets for some reason and then popped off their helmets. And you could hear the rednecks going, oh, oh, get a towel. Get a towel. They're back. I just made tummy puddles on my belly. Thank Christ. Co advance are gone. They couldn't stop Boss Hog's operation. They gotta get that shot across that board.

[Brady]

Brady never liked that cur.

[John Holmberg]

Never, never like Coy. And Vance running shine. It had to be Bo and Luke Coin. Vance are a couple sissies. They couldn't shoot flaming arrows the way Bo and Luke could. Blowing up stills and breaking the law.

[Brady]

All right, I got a couple of radio videos.

[John Holmberg]

I broke that down real well. Right on time, too. Yeah. Cracker Barrel people are going to email me, mad. You don't understand the DEI world they're trying to push on us. I'm like, no, no, you don't understand. You're a redneck that hates nice things. You don't like when things look prettier than stuff you have to live in all the time. And the pretty people start showing up, you're going to feel bad and leave. Then you got nowhere.

[Brady]

Don't move the cheese.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, the best thing they could do is start serving food at that. Is that ranch? What's the place? That's not a Home Depot, and it's not a Lowe's, but they sell, like, a bunch of still products.

[Brady]

Supply.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Tractor supply.

[John Holmberg]

Tractor supply. Yeah. You put food in there. Cracker Barrel starts. Still waiting for your tractor. Supply. I got my. I got my letter from them about my generator. Actually, Brady's friend picked it up. He said he'd get it to me.

[Brady]

How ironic.

[John Holmberg]

It's 23 bucks, Brett. Big deal to change a couple passwords. But I still won. Hell, yeah. I just never received winning. You're a winner. Winning. Charlie. Winning. Brett. Winning.

[Brady]

The first one is a word from the Alabama. Alabama governor.

[John Holmberg]

That's the Alabama.

[Brady]

Excuse me. A slight increase in the number of.

[John Holmberg]

That's a woman.

[Brady]

We'll be getting to the state. Yep.

[John Holmberg]

She's mad.

[Brady]

Excuse me. A slight increase.

[John Holmberg]

That's a fake noise. They added the noise. She just did a little old lady thing. But they added the huge hippo burp. You want it to be true. I do, too, but that's not real. Nobody laughed in Alabama. Somebody going, how, dude? Like somebody would have said something. All right, next.

[Brady]

Next is a group of 1, 2, 3, 4. Four girls. Hot dogging on a motorcycle. Is it five?

[John Holmberg]

It's. Is this one of those sorority. There's five hot girls.

[Brady]

Try to pull a wheelie now.

[John Holmberg]

Five hot Mexican girls.

[Brady]

Down goes the bike.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man. One of them drug her leg pretty bad. It's in Mexico. The motorcycle's laying on one of them. That's what you get when you. Five hot chicks on a motorcycle. This is like a cheer squad, too. They've been in this formation on the ground.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And then they got on Kelly Leak's bike. Riding around to the little league to go try to bang Amanda Wurlitzer.

[Brady]

Next one's public transportation at a subway. This is another instance. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Another bad attack.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Lady just standing there by herself.

[Brady]

And again, she's taking random guy behind.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. There's a guy just.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Swinging at people, waiting for this. Oh, just what Eric used to do when he drank. Oh, and then he just clubs a lady with a bag in the head and clotheslines her. That guy's got to go to jail for a long time, too. Man, oh, man.

[Brady]

This is a new neuro wave therapy. This guy's practicing.

[John Holmberg]

It's Dr. Nasser stuff. I can tell by the way his hand is. So he's about to. He's about to grab the crotch of a gorgeous blonde.

[Brady]

No grabbing, no touching.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he doesn't touch it.

[Brady]

Power says awakening feminine sensitivity without touch.

[John Holmberg]

Oh. Oh, she's having an orgasm. And this dude's just doing, like, Emperor Palpatine.

[Brady]

Move it up now. Let's go to the midsection.

[John Holmberg]

Are her nipples getting hard? Because if they get hard, I'll believe him.

[Brady]

That's it. He just goes up the body.

[John Holmberg]

He just kind of.

[Brady]

And the Oscar ghost.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. But I'm convinced. Is that David Duchovny? No, no, that's David Arquette.

[Brady]

It is David Arquette.

[John Holmberg]

He's about a foot away from her vagina with his hands, and he's doing Emperor Palpatine lightning bolt things.

[Brady]

90 bucks a hand wave.

[John Holmberg]

He's using the force to make orgasms. Why would you start at the vagina with the force and then work your way.

[Brady]

Go to giggling. You're giving that dude 90 bucks. Heck, you lose your 90 bucks.

[John Holmberg]

I'm doing it.

[Brady]

Yeah, I know. I don't blame you for.

[John Holmberg]

I'm taking my pants off. I'm like, get it done.

[Brady]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

This isn't gay if you don't touch it.

[Brady]

Yep. So he does, like, the magician's trick with your wing.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Well, if it starts going around, like. All right, it's working. This dude's real. Get him booked. Get him booked.

[Brady]

And have him try to look at the neuro wave. Can he do something with Brady's kidney?

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no. He's not a. He's not a Merlin. He can just make you have. Well, that's his only skill I can imagine if he was. If he could make kidneys, he wouldn't have gone. And also orgasms. And I'm gonna lean in on the other thing. If the dude could make kidneys with his magic hands, I don't need it dancing either. These are not the draws you're looking for. Orgasms.

[Brady]

Last one is Sweden's health minister's first day.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, she's going over. Good night.

[Brady]

Oh, she caught the corner of that loose table too.

[John Holmberg]

Her system's pretty hot though.

[Brady]

Again the reaction, don't you think? I think she's going over.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I see. Yeah. Nobody even could have made a move. Yeah. She started to tip and nobody in the front row did a thing about it.

[Brady]

Is she stepping forward?

[John Holmberg]

No. The whole lectern started to go over.

[Brady]

That IKEA furniture couldn't hold her ass up.

[John Holmberg]

You see? Let me handle this here with a. He's throwing darts in Sweden. Did I get her? She's down. I can't see him blind as bad. Gonna rape the Swedish health minister yet or not?

[Brady]

Who's the guy with the blowgun.it will cause me.

[John Holmberg]

Please sit down. Let me know. She's on her tummy. He's blind as a bat, so he just randomly fires down. I heard her. What's the commotion? Did I get her? She's been fallen. She's down. We have a problem. Let me take a look here. And this is Dr. Larry Nasser. And I'll take care of this little problem. It's a burger. She came back to life when Bill Cosby sucked her toes, by the way. I know this because I'm Swedish. She said she was looking forward to looking working in the government before she went over. And I know that because it's subtitled. Thank you. Morning sickness 98 kupd. Holmberg's morning sickness. Brett, what do you got? All right. No particular order. This one was entitled Italian's Way of Getting Rats. Oh, my God. There's a rat in the kitchen.

[Brady]

It's my mom.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, Your mom. Your mom fired it. This kitchen is a disaster. That's. Is that. They just wrote that? Yeah. Oh. They're looking in the back of a dishwasher that's just sitting in the middle of the room. It doesn't even have, like, a spot. And he's got a gun on it. And he's got, like, a. He's also. This part of the Ukrainian war, I think, because he's wearing camouflage. The guy's aiming at, like. He's just not. He just. There you go. Shoots inside the dishwasher like it could be a bomb.

[Brady]

Isn't he focused on the enemy?

[John Holmberg]

Got him. You got him. Well, rats carry disease, man. You can't.

[Brady]

All right. I guess so.

[John Holmberg]

And that's all that putin's been saying Ukrainian people are rats. There is nothing about them that is good. So, yeah, kill all the rest.

[Brady]

A hole up in that place.

[John Holmberg]

Start with a little ass play. Oh, in a small place. It's a doctor operating. Operating on a bus.

[Brady]

It started out as play.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no, Something's coming out of the vegetable or. Hold on.

[Brady]

Don't say procedure.

[John Holmberg]

They've got tongs in this guy's butthole.

[Brady]

Guessing.

[John Holmberg]

Are we.

[Brady]

Are we throwing out guesses?

[John Holmberg]

His bottom playing that or. No, we're not. Okay. Oh, what happens next? Pause it.

[Brady]

Guess the product that comes out of the ass.

[John Holmberg]

We've got. Let me just describe it. We've got a wide open. Whoa. Bimedical procedure anus. And it's spread apart a good 4 or 5 inches. Left to right.

[Brady]

Doc's got two fingers in it.

[John Holmberg]

Timeout. Top to bottom. It's spread another three or four inches. So this is a hole that a baseball fits in just on looking. And then the inside is something else. They got a pair of tongs in the anus about to pull something out. Brady, I go to you. What happens next?

[Brady]

I think it's.

[John Holmberg]

It's a new Japanese game show candelabra.

[Brady]

Or, you know, a full Liberace.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. I was like, that's a chandelier stick or something. You're going candlestick. You're playing clue. There's a candlestick in the ass from doctor who Toledo. What happens next?

[Brady]

I'm going eggplant.

[John Holmberg]

A whole eggplant?

[Brady]

Whole eggplant.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna say because it looks like a dark operating room. It does that. It's a. One of those Russian nesting dolls. Okay, go ahead. What will come out of the butt next? I don't know what that was. Put it back. Why are they putting it back?

[Brady]

Oh, they're turning it on.

[John Holmberg]

Well, no, they wouldn't light it up. Doctors aren't that funny.

[Brady]

Come on, get it out of it.

[John Holmberg]

Pull it out.

[Brady]

Israel, get pictures. Why put it back if you're not going to turn it on?

[John Holmberg]

I think it's India's only light bulb. Did he say something like eight horrible words? Look at the lips on that butthole. It looked like a wad of hubba Bubba against a wall.

[Brady]

Looks like we found a new game. We're like, place it back for photo op. I think so.

[John Holmberg]

Was that a hinder song? I think it was the lips of a butthole. We got a new game at least. Yeah, I like what happens next. We can play that with a lot of them. Yeah. All right. Here's a. Here's one for Brady. Here's a guy shaving his face. Oh, no.

[Brady]

Was that.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he's taking pieces.

[Brady]

Didn't you just offer to do that to me?

[John Holmberg]

He's straight. Yeah, but only against coconut, not for fun. Oh, my God. He's shaving with a straight razor. A beard. And each swipe, he licks the razor. Look at all the hair coming off there. And it is a ton. Oh.

[Brady]

Oh, that's got to be good shaving cream.

[John Holmberg]

As I think he looks like Gary Coleman, and I think that's why his wife kicked him down the stairs. She caught him doing that. Oh, my Lord. All right, as first scene. Oh, there's a lady who's got propane in her anus, and they just lit it, and she's a. She's like an oil rig.

[Brady]

What the.

[John Holmberg]

She's got a flame.

[Brady]

Your blow.

[John Holmberg]

It was like a forever torch from her ass. Literally blowing it out her ass. Yeah. She's beautiful. What product is in there? I don't know. That's a propane torch.

[Brady]

All right, Brady, if that gal that offered you plane tickets were to shat.

[John Holmberg]

On the couch, would you.

[Brady]

For the show?

[John Holmberg]

She's burning all the warts away. If she's got that feature, well, she can melt snow.

[Brady]

Keep that going. I could get a little rotisserie chicken going.

[John Holmberg]

It's a naked Chinese lady scuba diving. Another naked Chinese lady behind her. Scuba diving. When they're not in scuba diving. She got her hand up the first Chinese lady's bottom all the way to the forearm. I don't know if it's bottom or honey hole, but she's in there. Music is spongebob Ish. Oh, now she's got. No. Now she's taking the mask off, and she's performing oral sex under the sea. Sure enough.

[Brady]

Influence.

[John Holmberg]

We'll just end with this. All right. It's an Oreo cookie by itself. Now there's a bunch of. Is this. Oh, no. Okay, wait.

[Brady]

It's a Cal.

[John Holmberg]

Crunching it. They're making a milkshake out of. It's like a blizzard. They're crunching up the Oreos. Oh, wait a minute.

[Brady]

Oh, that's how it's made.

[John Holmberg]

And it cuts right to a scene three. Three men. I'm not gonna make it. I'm not gonna make it. I'm not gonna make it. Brett, if you detend the. What's next on that one? Okay, so it just shows. It shows Oreo cookies on a. On a tray, and they crumple Them up and put them in milk and make like an Oreo cookie shake. And then it jump cuts to a black guy on a white guy on a black guy making the same colors of an Oreo cookie having three man anal sex like everybody's got something in them. It's the Oreo shake. That is hilarious. We'll end there. Turn on the blender. I did not see that. Pardon the pun coming. Oh, my God. Oh, this program. Yeah. I don't know what you guys are doing over there. Number one with men by a long shot, but not enough. Oh, that's hilarious. That one hurt the first one. Dude was that guy eating hair. Had me going the other way. That fixed it. That was fun.

[Brady]

All right, I don't know if this is true, John. Do you remember Stu tracy from Channel 5 way back in the day? He had that happen to him as well.

[John Holmberg]

He got into an Oreo three way.

[Brady]

With a light bulb.

[John Holmberg]

That Stu Tracy didn't shove a light bulb in his ass. I remember the name. He was a weatherman for Channel 5 back in the day. It's too. Tracy didn't have a light.

[Brady]

Yeah, he had that happen.

[John Holmberg]

It would have been on the news.

[Brady]

Don't you remember?

[John Holmberg]

Mark Curtis was here back then. Text him and go, is it true Stu Tracy had Hayden. Oh, and I remember him. Hayden was here for. Yeah, Stu Tracy was like a real. Wow. He was like a Ken doll. Did weather on the when Channel 5 used to be kind of a local rerun station before it became cbs.

[Brady]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

And Wallace and Ladm and Wallace and Ladmo was on there. But Stu Tracy did the weather against a board where he had to do magnets instead of like screens.

[Brady]

The old Letterman board.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it was bad. Like all of his rain was like a cloud with rain. He'd throw it up at the screen. There we go. Yeah, this is Stu Tracy. Here's Stu Tracy. What a difference of weather system. The guy was an absolute weatherman. He's anchorman. If you're headed for the high country, be prepared for hazardous driving conditions. Travelers advisory is in effect for the rim and white mountains above 5,500ft. Speaking of the rim, let's talk about that Stu. Phoenix will still have a slight chance for sprinkles in the morning and it'll be. We didn't even try Channel 5 didn't even try. The graphics were just as basic as something I could do. Mostly sunny and warmer both days. 1980s weatherman. Sty. He didn't have a light bulb up his ass. Where'd you hear that? You think me, a guy like me wouldn't know about this, right? This would be the first. You think I wouldn't? I wouldn't. Heard about that. And ran with that for years. Dewey Hopper. Maybe. Dewey Hopper had a lot in his ass. He was a gay weatherman at channel 12 for a while. Came out to our school at Roosevelt Elementary. So nice to meet all you Rough Riders. Twinkin around as we were there. Oh, I don't remember Dewey Hopper.

[Brady]

I gotta look him up.

[John Holmberg]

I forgot about him. You don't remember Dewey Hopper? We gave him like a size medium Roosevelt Rough Rider shirt and put it on and it was obscenely tight. So it's good to see all you kids. Nice to meet you, Rough Riders. I'm Dewey Hopper. He was adorable, though. Like, it was sort of like if Brady was flamboyantly gay. Come on. Yeah, it's Brady home.

[Brady]

I remember you talking about Dewey.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Dewey afterwards. And then he went to San Francisco. He got a job in San Francisco. And he bolted out of here. Sweet. By ye. Dewey out. And his cute thing was the Dewey point. It's gonna be 97 degrees tomorrow. Humidity's a little high. And that means what? Means what? The Dewey points. Going up you.

[Brady]

The Dewey point.

[John Holmberg]

They erased him from YouTube. He's not on there anymore. Not on YouTube. Was awesome. And he seems sort of like above it all weather. Like you need this. Look outside, stupids. Tell me, what do you think's happening? I'm just telling you what you know already. Oh, no, wait a minute. Is that him? Yeah, There he is. Little chubby Dewey Hopper. You can find him. He's probably more San Francisco stuff because that was his proud reel. There he is. Hi. Dewey Hopper. Okay, now I remember him. Oh, wait, here we go. There's some video of Dewey. He was so. Might have a commercial. So cute. There we go. Dewey Hopper. So gay.

[Brady]

Oh, they used to be abc. Oh, I hear. I hear.

[John Holmberg]

Come on. You do.

[Brady]

I think you hear somebody now.

[John Holmberg]

You hear somebody in the hall. Are you? Maybe that's Jesus Brady. Follow the light.

[Brady]

Channel 3.

[John Holmberg]

The actor best known as the fast talking con man who won over the people. Just Frank Camacho and some lady that didn't make it. Dewey doing the 1925. Our load at a 47. That's about where it should be. And the record 35 in 1955. Quite a storm coming in. It's off the coast and moving this way. This low pressure system's all part of it. It's already snowing in Arizona. It started snowing in Flagstaff about dark, and they have nothing I like more than a little white powder on my nose. Dewey hopper. It's the 80s clock, and it's moving across. Paul Lyn seems straight. This storm center has produced snow in the foothill. They sent them to elementary schools. So nice to meet you. Rough riders. That hair, that 80s weatherman.

[Brady]

Both of those guys.

[John Holmberg]

Which dude, Tracy, back to the beginning of this. Didn't have a light bulb up his ass. Brady, you know, my. What about Dewey? Oh, Dewey had a. Dewey like Brady had a candelabra up his ass. He had a piano in there. Dewey was something. I parked at a Walmart once, and I came back and where's my car? I don't know. Like, hey, you're Dewey Hopper. I'm like, wait, did I park my car inside you again? This happens all the time. Everything fits. Is this your German Shepherd? What you got in there somehow was taking a nap? Dewey point's gonna go up. Salt Lake City, 36 in Cheyenne, 37 in South Dakota, 59. It's moving right on cross and warming up as it drifts into that area. That area is all of the northeast of America. He was so above weather. This area here is weather. And then there's weather here where this.

[Brady]

State is hot and cold spots.

[John Holmberg]

Miami, I believe this is Tejas. That's what they call it in my world. Here's Arizona's radar. Look, nothing moved into the northwestern part of the state. And it's gonna drift on across really fast. And we can anticipate, as I mentioned earlier, some pretty good accumulations, 10 inches. And that was back in the days, in the 80s, when people were like, do you think Dewey's gay? Like, we weren't sure. And Dewey would show up at Tony Roma's with a wife. This is my wife. Her name's Madeline. She's lovely. She's gonna be ordering the salad.

[Brady]

I'm sorry, did you say wife?

[John Holmberg]

Yes, I did. Surprise. Anyway, my Dewey points not half as hot as crank. Look at that.

[Brady]

He's tapping it. He's tapping it.

[John Holmberg]

These clouds, are they shaped like a big dick and they're coming up from Mexico? Reminds me of last time I was in Puerto Penasco. The Dewey point got real moist down there. And the predicted highest for tomorrow will be about. If Stu Tracy did have a light bulb in his ass. Do we put it there? All right, that's enough of this old timey weather revisits. Maybe the executives are right. That's it.

[Brady]

How he's doing so well.

[John Holmberg]

How's it still winning? We hate that. It is winning. It needs to win more or just go away. We hate them anyway. It's. There you go. That's your Brady report in Dewey Hopper Memory Lane. It's 98. Sorry, Stu Tracy. It's out of control now. Okay, upday.