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Brett
You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.
John Holmer
It's John Holmer here for the amazing people at the Core Institute. Getting used to chronic pain is something that we can all find ourselves doing and not realize we're doing it. And I needed four procedures. I had a lot going on. Two shoulder replacements and yes, at my age, even two hip replacements. But you know what? I'm better today than I've been in 20 years. And now I'm back. Basketball, pain free, running, pain free, throwing a baseball or football, pain free. And I can box again. It's exciting because I look forward to the things I love. You don't have to live with pain anymore. Go to the core institute.com wherever you go, whatever they get into, from chill time to everyday adventures, Protect your dog from parasites with Cridellio Guattro. For full safety information, side effects and warnings, visit cordelioquattrolabel.com consult your vet or call 1-888-545-5973. Ask your vet for Cordelio Quatro and visit quattrodog.com Holberg's Morning Sickness Morning sickness.
Podcast Announcer
Holberg's morning sickness Gotta get up to here and make you laugh until you peel they might make you come undone make your cock rise with the sun we'd like to welcome you to this morning's show with John, Brett and Brady and big Dick Toledo. They call us Hobbs but we are not worth miles to nowhere they speak on controversy who's bobbing Johnny's mob that they think dua leap was great for the faint of heart they're not Homer's morning sickness you gotta get up to hear it make some laugh Makes em cry in all seriousness and fun make your cop cry outside we'd like to introduce our main host. They say he looks like Squidward with that big huge nose ha ha ha but that's a prereq they all in the mornings airing over 20 years like a blue pill they're still going. Brady comes in shorts to report the news he knows but you can't eat at Porkopolis because it closed Colbert's morning sickness you gotta get up to hear it make you laug until you spiel wipe you off when they are done make your cock rise with the sun Homework's morning sickness you gotta tune in and listen. Tap that up. Yeah, don't get screwed in the end. All in good fun. Big R radio's got you son.
John Holmer
Piece of garbage. That guy. It's three days grace right there. Or no, I'm sorry, but it's miles to nowhere. I apologize. I understand what's going on. Talking about garbage people that we've worked with in the past. I got this email, Brady. That's a good one there. Oh, but the teachers. This guy, the teacher email. Remember yesterday I said teachers quit? There's studies that came out that said the new Generation has like 8 seconds of. Of time to give you before they check out. Like they. They only. Their attention span lasts eight seconds. So they're blaming, like teaching and my teachers. You can't catch a break. Quit. Quit your job. It's going to get worse. You're not getting paid enough. I don't want to see you marching around asking for more money. It's not your fault. It's the parents fault. Quit your jobs. Put it on the parents again. Because they're blaming them. Like the scores are horrible. And it's because kids are dumber than ever because the parents don't. They blame everybody. Put it on them. But this guy says maybe instead of getting teachers to quit their jobs and get a. You convince a bunch to get fired. Take charge of your classroom and be an aide when the lazy parents call in and blame you for stuff. My ex got fired because she wouldn't let children be lazy or disrespectful. And she used to fight back with the parents. I left her for a reason, but you gotta respect that. Yeah, she was mean to you too. You were like one of the kids in the class. She put you in your place and you left because you're an adult. You don't need that. Yeah, we need those teachers with rulers again, smacking kids in the hands. I hear you. And I know you're having an emotional problem. I hear you. I want to be there for. No, shut the f up. What's the matter with you? The phrase what's the matter with you? Needs to happen without the kid running. He's toxic. I'll never forget, Megan's nephew learned about bullying and then weaponized it within like three days. Anytime something happened, he didn't get what he wanted, he'd cry and go, he's bullying me. And his dad would run over and go, I understand that. You bullied my son. Like, what? I was playing pool on a Christmas party and the little guy was reaching up onto the table. Mo the balls around. I'm like, hey, don't touch that. We're. The adults are doing something and he Look. And he ran to his dad crying. His dad comes over and he goes, what did you yell at my son? And I'm like, I did. He was touching all the pool balls. I was telling him not to do that. The adults were playing, Ryan. Do you understand that? And I'm like, no, no, no. Just tell him not to do it. No, he needs to know that I. I'm. I still love him. Like, it's that fragile at your house. He's worried you might not love him anymore if you yell at him.
Brett
Yeah, that's on you.
John Holmer
That's all on you. So then the kid came to me later, and I said, I don't want to talk to you anymore. He's like, six. I'm very W.C. fields. I'm like, hey, you're a. You're a little weasel like you. You ratted me out for something you did wrong and made this hole uncomfortable. Ah, just stay away from Uncle John. Wow. You bullied me. And I'm like, I didn't bully you. I'll show you what bullying is in a second if you keep it up. And then he kicked me in the balls or punched me. Punched me in the balls. And I'm like, little guy punched me in the ball. He bullies. He bullies.
Brett
Punch him back.
John Holmer
And he told me later. The little kid told me later in school, we just learned about bullying. And I'm like, well, you learned it, and I'll give you that. You picked it up pretty quick. Cause you are playing victim an awful lot. And it's. And you're getting cookies for it. I watched you get a free cookie for that. Do we want a cookie?
Brady
Will that make.
John Holmer
Yeah. How's a cookie for bullying? Oh, my God. It was brutal. So, yeah, we need teachers to just go shut the up. Remember the first teacher you heard cuss at you? I think mine was Mr. Delergo. By the way, Rick. Rick Del Ergo wrote me a very nice letter a few years ago. One of my favorite people as far as school went growing up, the teacher that got it. But I remember once we wouldn't shut up in his class. And he was always so nice to us and respectful and everything else. And we always kind of, as kids were like, this is one of the good ones. Listen to him. Be nice. He had us. He won. He was a good one, but we wouldn't shut up for some reason. He took the chalk and he threw it into the chalkboard, and he goes, God damn it. What's wrong with you guys? Girls started to cry. They didn't want him to not like us. And I remember the first time hearing a teacher cuss. I'm like, oh, we're all done.
Brady
Never. It never happened.
John Holmer
We're all done.
Brady
He was so upset in high school for me, man, even. You know, the only time it would happen, coaching every now and then they would.
John Holmer
Coach Clark wouldn't cuss. But he said that it'd be like, move your ass, you know. Oh, Coach Clark would say, move your behind. You mother suck these sucks over here. She. Yeah. So yeah, teachers quit. But yeah, that guy's right. Maybe, maybe a whole bunch of them start being mean teachers again and be that teacher nobody wanted.
Brett
Mr. Craig, Mr. Zabrowski.
John Holmer
Zabrowski. They were jerks. But you went in their room and just tried to get through the hour.
Brady
That's part of building character.
John Holmer
Well, it kind of was. It was because you're gonna run into those people in your life. So you have to learn how to deal.
Brady
I told Kirby, I'm like, you're not gonna like every teacher.
John Holmer
No. And you don't mean.
Brady
But you have to stick in there.
John Holmer
Yeah.
Brady
Not gonna say, oh, we're gonna find another teacher.
John Holmer
Yeah, we're gonna find everything to make my angel pillow softer.
Brady
Teacher fire.
John Holmer
Right. It's fun working at Circle K. Well, there. But he took it to another level cuz he touched some of the kids. We had a lot of that going on at Rhodes and Dobson. One of the English teacher touched a kid, worked at a Circle K on Power Road for a while. I remember seeing him out there. Hey, what's up, Rob? You were my seventh grade literature teacher. That'll be three. She regret trying to finger that kid? Anyway, I'm gonna go to the river and have a life without a felony attached.
Brady
I'll take my chicko stick.
John Holmer
And you know what? I'm gonna go ahead and steal these right in front of you. And you can't say a thing. Cause it's the second worst crime that's happened in this room. Bye now. I had to read that in the paper. When that teacher died. I don't know if he actually did.
Brett
Oh, 30 times just because.
John Holmer
Did he actually. Or was he just accused? I don't remember.
Brett
I think he was with a girl. It wasn't like.
John Holmer
Oh yeah.
Brett
It wasn't like he.
John Holmer
She was young. Yeah, it was 17. Yeah, he was dating her.
Brett
Little diddly.
John Holmer
Then he had. He tried to get a job way far out in the outskirts. On your way to the river, you'd have to stop and get your cooler and your stuff. So it didn't squeak the whole drive. Yeah, he had those Styrofoam. Styrofoam coolers. Yeah. Sounds like your parents bed. That's all we did. Oh my God. Look behind the counter. Is that who I think it is? I remember stabbings with the. What?
Brady
That's the one of all the place.
John Holmer
Teacher from Rhodes.
Brady
That's where you want the guy.
Brett
What, Circle K?
Brady
Yeah, the Circle K by the river. It's all the young people coming in there to float.
John Holmer
It's not necessarily. They wanted him there. He should have been. He knew.
Brett
He should have been in Sun City or something.
John Holmer
He'd just leave town.
Brett
Yeah, you know what?
Brady
I'm gonna go work at an amusement park.
John Holmer
I mean they're like, all right, if you're willing to do it, we'll put you behind the counter. And they did. You're not allowed from out behind the counter though. Cause you'll start touching folks. Yeah, that's exactly how we do it too. I think that's who I think that is. Yeah, dude. Look, you guys old enough to buy beer? I bet you didn't ask that question once in your life. We're gonna take this beer here and we're gonna move on. Has never been a restriction for you. 3.99, please. It was. It had to be awful for him though. And he recognizes. I hope he's doing well.
Brady
I don't know. I don't know what ladies, I don't. Not checking for an id here. Here's your beer.
John Holmer
Yeah, I give everybody.
Brady
And if you want more, come on back.
John Holmer
If I got caught doing something like that, everybody gets beer. Cuz it's like, here, I'm the coolest guy in the world. I'm not doing it to come on to you. I just know that if I start checking IDs, it's going to look bad. Any girl handed me an. I'd been through that in my past, I'd be like, no, no, no, no, no. People can't see this. That looks terrible. I don't care. I do. I don't know that he did it. That's what I'm saying. I don't know. I don't know the full story. I just know where I saw him. He's just complete. Yeah.
Brett
Oh, he was a horrible person.
John Holmer
Yeah. One of the meanest teachers I've ever had. That is a fact. I don't know about all of his. Oh, yeah, yeah. No, no. As far as that goes, yeah, I do know. We had a teacher At Dobson that. Like the. The day one of the students turned 18, he married. Wow. Yeah. It was like a month after. But everybody. Nobody knew they were.
Brady
Loved her.
John Holmer
Nobody knew they were dating. And then when she was 18, they got married. And she was pretty. And I'm like, you know, as a logical person, you're like, hey, they had to be dating before this. Hey, you don't just get married 30 days after you graduate. But they did. And everybody's like, huh. All right, then. Well, you got away with that 1. Morning sickness. 98 KUPD and Doug Limu and I always tell you to customize your car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual, but now we want you to feel it. Cue the emu music, Limu. Save yourself money today. Increase your wealth. Customize and save. We see that may have been too much feeling. Only pay for what you need@liberty mutual.com. liberty. Liberty. Liberty Savings. Very unwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance Company affiliates.
Brady
Excludes Massachusetts.
John Holmer
Holmberg's morning sickness. He was a good teacher, too. I can't remember his last name right now. I remember his mustache. And then I got this email says, brady. Look at. What would Brady do? Only it's immediate. My neighbor switched out my trash bin last week, and I watched him do it through the window. And then again this week, he put his trash bin back. He switched them again. I thought nothing of it. But yesterday, the cops were out at his house, and sure enough, they were going through his garage and his garbage. I haven't said anything because I really like my neighbor, but what do I do? Stephen Loving you from Arkansas. That dude killed someone.
Brady
And I'm checking out the trash.
John Holmer
I'm telling the cops, look in my trash bin too. He's been swapping these out because otherwise.
Brady
I'm looking in there, I'm looking at that trash bin.
John Holmer
Well, you don't know. I mean, at first, he might have hosed it up.
Brady
I'm calling.
John Holmer
He might have put the evidence in your trash. One week, and it's got DNA all over there. You can't see. And then he switched them back, and now you're holding it. And if somebody's in trouble, the cops are gonna blame you. Is there any, like, serial ID for whose trash is whose on the bins?
Brady
Well, you know what's interesting is, like.
John Holmer
You assigned a trash bin. There gotta be, right? It has to be.
Brett
Still, I'd be like, oh, Chief, what are you doing over there?
Brady
You know what's funny is, you know, ours we put out in the front. And since I'm on the corner. My neighbor puts his on the same side, so there's like five, but I.
John Holmer
Know you know which one. Yeah. All three of our bins in Mesa have numbers. They do have numbers. Yeah, they have numbers on them, which doesn't really matter. I get the guy could put evidence in your trash bin. True.
Brady
Different sizes. Yeah, if they're out front.
John Holmer
Yeah.
Brady
But you can throw.
John Holmer
But if he's grabbing yours and rolling into the garage and then putting the body parts in there, and the next Wednesday, that's the next level, and then he switches them back to where you've got the bad boy. But he used yours.
Brady
Yeah, something's going on there.
John Holmer
Something terrible's going on.
Brett
But in a neighborhood like yours, don't.
John Holmer
They just stay in the alleyway like you? Don't we have the main trash in the alley and then recycling and grass, which I put everything in right out front. The grass one. I kind of let Al handle my yard gun. Although every once in a while, put like, a bottle.
Brett
Those ones go out on the curb, though.
John Holmer
Yeah, those go on the curb.
Brett
You still got alleys?
John Holmer
Yeah, I got an alley for a lot of them.
Brady
They've closed in the bigger canister in the alley.
John Holmer
Huge. Yeah. Yeah. And that guy that wanted to fight me, my neighbor that put the note on that said, we moved into the house behind. You don't use this anymore. And it was. Yeah. And I said, wow, this is, like, not a good way to enter the neighborhood. And then I had it looked up on maricopa.gov and he was an older fella, and he paid cash for this really nice house. And he's got like. I'm like, oh, this guy's got tons of money, thinks he owns. So I started bowing up a little, put a note back on the trash that said, hey, this is everybody's. If you want to talk about it, here's a phone number. Put it on the bid. And then. And then I went on the air and said, well, maybe he's got, like, some UFC grandson that was like, he's gonna sic on me. One of you jerk offs listening were working on his house and put two and two together and told him, this guy on the radio's talking about you. Did you put a note in the trash? Yeah, yeah. Guy crossed in, he thinks you got a UFC grit. He's gonna kick your ass. That old guy came to my house. He's a big Steeler fan. His name's Rick. He's awesome. We're best friends now. We're Ally Buddies and best friends. Now, he came trudging. Trudging in Trip. I don't think Trip heard this. And he's an older guy. He got Q tip hair and all that. And he comes in, and Tripp's sitting in a recliner because I've got one recliner for the elderly visitors. And Trip lays in that while he watches the game. And the guy walks through my backyard, and he's looking around. And my friend John Sharpnick taps Trip and goes, hey, do you know this guy? Like, they. Like they both biden their way around. He just got lost, came through the alley.
Brett
They have radar for each other.
John Holmer
Couldn't have been a nicer man, though. And I need to get to be best buddies with him. Now, if one of you pricks is working on his house, Keep it down. I'm going to talk about him for a second. It's just amongst us, you know, we're pals. No reason to go blabbing. I got to get in this guy's will. He's got a place up at Forest Islands. No, no. What's the other one? Pine something.
Brady
Pine Canyon.
John Holmer
Yeah. And been Flagstaff. He's got a house out up at Trun. He's got the place behind me. He's got. He got houses all over the place. And I'm like, oh. And then I'm looking at him going, I gotta get in this guy's will.
Brady
His UFC son won't like that.
John Holmer
Quit. I gotta get in there lickety split. I gotta make good friends with him. But he was awesome. Rick was very cool. But back to that guy's dumpster. And that's the thing about the community trash. My new neighbor Rick, behind me, he could be dumping off body parts in the big bin, and no one would know it's me or him or anyone else. So I don't know that you have too much to worry about.
Brady
And randomly, anyone could do it.
John Holmer
Yeah.
Brady
Those are in the alley.
John Holmer
Yeah. Even out front.
Brady
Anyone could go by there.
John Holmer
And, well, there's a reason every once.
Brady
In a while, if I do this, like, if I'm walking the dogs and I've got the bag, you toss one in, I'll put it in. If there's a can available there, I put it in.
John Holmer
If I'm riding my bike and I've got a couple extra bottles of water hanging off the edge, I'll go buy a bin. And usually I'm pretty respectful about the blue bin because I know a lot of. I'm right at home with mine. I Can do what I want with mine, but I. I will be nice to yours.
Brady
And I look at it this way. Like, if I'm. If I see someone coming by with their dog or whatever, and they. And the cans out there and there's room, they throw something in there.
John Holmer
Yeah.
Brady
I mean, not like they're putting five bags. I'm okay with it.
John Holmer
I'm fine with it. I don't. I don't think he's got much to worry about, but I'd still tell the cops that he was switching out my. You wouldn't. You wouldn't rat Brett.
Brady
No.
John Holmer
You wouldn't turn and go, hey, this guy's been swiping my. If he's.
Brett
I would have take care of it myself.
John Holmer
Oh, man.
Brett
What are you doing, chief?
John Holmer
That's not your can.
Brett
That was going on.
John Holmer
Maybe I would do that.
Brady
That is weird.
John Holmer
Up to the driveway and then he swapped, right?
Brady
Yeah.
John Holmer
And it's unlike your ring. I might go with Brett's way. Knocking on the door. Hey, what was the whole thing there with the switchy roos on the track? I got you on my ring camera. Huh? You saw that? Yeah, I saw that. Knock it off.
Brett
Switch him back.
John Holmer
Yeah, he did. Oh, that's the thing. He switched it first, and then the next time through, he switched them back. So he was doing something with your trash can, and then the cops come over. Arkansas police. It could have been that guy from Hazen. Look at your task. All right. He's awesome. All right, darling, you make sure you got this straight. He's the best.
Brady
Don't run.
John Holmer
Don't run. In Arkansas. We get ye. What was that last word? Get ye. Okay. Ain't running in my state. But if he came over, we're gonna go through your garbage. Guy's like, go ahead. Wasn't in my garbage. Don't check, Brett.
Brady
That's the shell game. It goes all the way down the block.
Brett
That's what he's doing.
John Holmer
It is the shell game. Shell game and body parts. And all this on the heels of that rapper whose name I can't say because there's a 4 in it. I think it's David, but it's D4.
Brady
That's how you. Yeah, D4.
John Holmer
VD. Yeah, D4. V. Yeah, but it's David. Venereal disease. David. Just write David down. It's not cooler to have the four in it. You look like a moron. Anyway, his Tesla was in a impound lot, and somebody complained that it stunk. They opened the trunk, and they found a Dismembered girl in it. And this dude still did a concert last night. He's in Minnesota. And the tour will go on now. I don't know. Workaholic. His car. And he never, according to his. Never said it was stolen. Yeah. You're gonna fully cooperate. Yeah. That's part of your plan. When they find the girl all butchered in the back of your Tesla, nobody's impounding Tesla. Right. Like. Like if it was parked in the wrong spot. Who put that in there? He did this. If there's a. Look, if there's a body in the trunk of your car, you're guilty. I'm sorry. If I'm on the jury and they're like, we found a dismembered body in his Tesla. The worst. The worst thing you can say is, oh, I let Brett borrow my car. Well, so then you hang out with a guy who'll dismember people. You're guilty of something.
Brett
You know, I would never drive a Tesla.
John Holmer
So. That's true. Yeah, that's right. You're a turbine.
Brett
Only.
Brady
Well, the bummer for it's.
John Holmer
Yeah. Brett would never stoop so low as to dismember a body in an electric car. Gay, right? Yeah.
Brady
And during the judge.
John Holmer
Your honor, look at this. Would I have a guy like me in a Tesla? Now, look, if you found her in a 69 Chevelle, we might have a trial on our hands. But I think it's pretty obvious that I did not drive. But this dude.
Brady
This dame fell apart in this car.
John Holmer
This was just tumbling in pieces like a Mr. Potato Head. I stuffed her in the trunk and I forgot. And then I got the hell out of that gay ass Tesla and got into a man's car. Sorry, David Hart, but if you have a body in the trunk of your car, you're guilty.
Brady
Especially unless it was, like, the neighbor. Trash can, trash bin.
John Holmer
Look, right now, Brady, lock your cars. Let's say I get a call. I get a call.
Brady
He comes in for this stuff.
John Holmer
I get a call right now, and Megan's like, they just found a body in the back of your Jeep. And I'm like, wow, okay. And I tell you they found a dismembered body in the back of my Jeep. And Brady would be like, holy cow. I know. And then I gotta go do a show. And then I keep doing the show. You would automatically assume I'm guilty. Like, he's not even flinching. Most people have a dismembered body in one of their cars. It stops their Day they stopped going about their business for at least a weekend. To go, like, what's going on? Who's. Yes, you do. Don't act like you.
Brady
Well, no, but I'm saying if the guy at the same time reacting the way he did, if he had nothing to do with it, you. You, like, I don't want to go back in that car, but keep me posted.
John Holmer
Who borrowed your car? Nobody. Did you report it stolen? No. You're looking pretty bad right now. You stop what you're doing.
Brady
Take to get a hold of the guy and be able to, you know, before your show. We've got some questions.
John Holmer
It was the next day. Did a show. Show. You go home, you cancel a couple shows. Go. I don't even know who Dave Ford VD is. So I don't know if, like, the concert's such a.
Brady
Well, anyway, he did the show, but Crocs and Holster, they're all dropping it. They dropped it for right now.
John Holmer
Of course, there's a dead body in his truck.
Brady
But do you think the promoter. I'm like. Or not the promoter. Well, combination of.
John Holmer
Brady, I don't know. If we do this show, Brady, you find a dismembered. Not just a dead body. A dismembered body in your car. And you're like, wasn't me. You try to shaggy your way out of that, and then you go on stage and do a bebop. Boop. D4VD. I don't know how his music goes. That's probably accurate. And you don't go back immediately. I go back to start defending myself, especially if I did it.
Brady
But that's what a serial killer does.
John Holmer
No, it right. He's a killer. You're making my point. You go arrest this guy. He's suspect one. Let him explain it. Holmberg's morning sickness. Medicate k u p D. Holmberg's morning sickness. They found a dismembered woman in his car. And best they're saying is he's cooperating. No, he's not. He's doing a bebop show at the end of the night. D4VD is this him? Yeah.
Brett
This one's called Romantic Homicide.
John Holmer
I swear to God, he's singing about it.
Brady
Wow.
John Holmer
Movie's terrible. That was flat. Anyway, I'm just saying, I know you.
Brady
Guys heard some things.
John Holmer
Found a dead lady in my car. All chapter bits. Wasn't me. I'm still here.
Brett
Is that the next song? Next popular song's called Sleep well.
John Holmer
Is that right? All right. This dude's Been telling us he's done it.
Brady
Track three, she's fallen to pieces.
Brett
I'm trying.
John Holmer
Drupal Amputee. What's this one?
Brett
This is still the.
John Holmer
This is sleep. Well, click on that one. D4VD. I'm telling you, man, there isn't a normal human being on the planet has a dead body in the back of their car that doesn't go home immediately upon hearing that news. Just to keep the people. Look, if you're innocent, you got to keep the people. Somebody's trying to frame you. First things first. Who did you loan that car to? It's a little sleepy. It's terrible. Yeah. People go see this line, like Anderson Paak out there. You spend money to go watch this sleep festival. Ambien should sponsor this guy. I don't think she got killed. I think she chopped her own body up after listening to his album. Problem. Where'd it go wrong? Where'd it go wrong is this song. Anyway, I'm just saying, you couldn't look more guilty when the news breaks. And, like, you guys would think I'm insane. You should keep doing like. My Uncle Bob died. I got a call at 9:44am from my stupid sister. Uncle Bob died. When? Just now. Whoa. All right, let me call you right back. I got to do the entertainment drill. I didn't have anything to do with it. I had an alibi. I was shocked by the news. But if they said they found Uncle Bob dismembered in the back of your car. Guys, I gotta go. Like, this is. I can't focus on how funny it is that Nicholas Cage is playing John Madden right now. We've got. I've got to go. You don't do a show after that just for the sake of.
Brady
Or knowing you would talk about. I just got a call.
John Holmer
Oh. I talk about it immediately. Somebody dismembered a body. I gotta go, folks. Yeah. This is the last break to hear for a minute. News is going to take this, but I just got a call said somebody dismembered a body in my car. They left it in my car. And then hopefully you and, I don't know, Brett will do it. Brett would ask the question because you wouldn't. You'd be like, wow, jeez. Yeah. I don't think Brady would ask any questions because he thinks he's next. Brett would be like, who had your car?
Brett
Yeah, exactly.
John Holmer
That's who did it.
Brady
You're thinking Brett would do that? I got nothing to do with that.
John Holmer
No, no. Brett would ask who had Your car. Right. Cuz Brett's thinking. Thinking you're not getting me for this.
Brett
Nope.
Brady
You're thinking you did it.
John Holmer
Brett would be thinking like, you didn't cover your tracks very well. Or who had your car. They didn't cover their tracks very well. Who had your car is question one. And if you don't have an answer for that, you did it. This dude. This D4VD did it. And the reason I think, I wouldn't think so. I would think, oh my God, what a tragic situation. If you immediately, like, I gotta cancel these shows and get back and make sure that everyone I know and love is okay. Why would someone do this? Me. To. To me now. It may turn out later that. And why was his car impounded? Where was it? Like, who towed it away?
Brett
Trying to see.
John Holmer
Why did he not know that? Why is a man driving a Tesla? All these things. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry, David Hart. Sorry, Jim Wilson. But why is a. Why is a man driving a Tesla? The second worst thing about this story is there's a man who owns a Tesla. Tesla. Tesla's are awesome. I wanted the Cyber truck.
Brady
What happened? You're trying to turn the Tesla into like a Miata or something.
John Holmer
Brett's right. Put gas in your car. Thank you. I do like Teslas. They're very fast. But. But. Put gas in your car. Destroy the earth, Please. By all means. I do kind of like Teslas. I just don't like how they're shaped. But I love that Cyber truck because it's a giant kids toy. I don't want one. They cost too much and the resale value is horrible.
Brady
Throw some stomper wheels on that.
John Holmer
Oh, man, you're getting me going. They're so ugly. But because they're so. It's almost like those like pugs dogs. They're so ugly, they become adorable. They like, go so far past real ugly that they find cute again. That's the Tesla cybertruck truck.
Brady
Now they're stretching them out. I'm seeing more commercial. Not only Tesla, but the electric car. Now they're getting 500 miles.
John Holmer
I do research. That's something I need to stop doing. Brett, what's up? You do it. And I know I'm not going to stop you. I need to stop looking at dudes who care about the environment as sissies. You know what I mean? I have like a weird kind of like, that's a girl thing. Yeah. And I think it's because it's plants. I want the environment to be clean too. I just don't want to do it through big business. Like, I think just clean up independently. Like, if each person did their part a little bit, your car's not really doing as much as they say it is.
Brett
Let's say, be an ironized Cody or anything. Don't start crying. But, I mean, you know, not recycling.
John Holmer
You'Re throwing, because it's not a real program. It's not a thing. If it was a real thing, I'd be, you know, helpful with it. But it's not a real thing. It's fake. The recycling. We'll go into that. And that's another one I was right about a long time ago ago. And the city of Surprise is like, Holg's right. We. If you want to do it, you got to come down and do it yourself. We don't actually sort this stuff.
Brady
Brett's like, don't be a fairy, Doom Goblin.
John Holmer
Yeah, and that's it. It's because Doom Goblin's in charge of the whole thing, and her new haircut is fantastic.
Brett
He was dropped by. Dropped by Crocs and Hollister immediately.
John Holmer
You know what? Come on. Your sponsors were Crocs and Hollister. Come on. Brit's making all sorts of really sound points here. Like, if you were my lawyer, I'd pat you on the shoulder, like, no, Great job. Great job. You're gonna get us out of this. Your Honor, the man drove a Tesla. He's sponsored by Crocs and Hollister. Why would a woman be in a car with this twink, dead or alive? I rest my case. There was no way a woman was this close to anything of his.
Brett
Call me D4D. I'll get you out of the.
John Holmer
Spells his name with a 4. The guy might as well just be covered in KY Jelly, and boy bottom on. I rest my case. You might be the worst lawyer I've ever seen, but God damn it, those were salient points anyway. Yeah, I don't mind the test, but I prefer, like, what Brett does. I know I'm in the middle. Like, I know you like them because you like ugly cars. Although you've changed the. The Lincolns of all.
Brett
Yeah, these are nice.
John Holmer
Yeah, these are good. What? He's got George Sheffield.
Brett
He's moving on.
John Holmer
Something happened to you midway when you used to love ugly cars, and then you change, changed. It was weird. You used to love ugly cars, and then everything got better, and now they're really good. So kudos to you.
Brady
I look at the battery things every now and then. I just still can't do It.
John Holmer
I tell you why I can't do it until you. Until it make it so it doesn't become the least valuable thing on the road. The second I buy it, the value drops. They're useless the second you buy them. It's the worst investment you can make.
Brett
I just saw a video a little while ago. Guy spent 175 on his Cybertruck truck.
John Holmer
Huh.
Brett
Or no, 150, I think. And now he was going to trade it in. It's got a thousand miles on it. 75k is all it's worth.
John Holmer
This guy dropped that much? It's insane. You get 25%. Yeah. On average of what you paid immediately. Like it drops in half the day.
Brady
Depreciation of an electric car compared to.
John Holmer
Because you can't get rid of them. Yeah, you can't.
Brady
The reason made, they've also. There's a lot of inventory.
John Holmer
All new cars, depreciation. These depreciate the same. And then because there's no resale at all, they just drop that. Like the price is low. But the dismembered body in the back, that's an extra feature. You pay more. And that's gonna hurt. The reason. It's gonna really kill the resale on that.
Brett
This guy makes a point. Wouldn't the Tesla record someone putting something in the truck?
John Holmer
Hey, there it is.
Brett
Think about that.
John Holmer
Me neither. Those things are like tattletales on wheels.
Brady
Interior temperature go up or down, you know?
John Holmer
Yeah. Because it tells you when your house is on fire. That's a good point. The Tesla's got some technology in it. Oh, this D4VD guy. So John man can't own a Tesla because every man that does own one has ruined it. They've all got man buns. That's true. It's not the Tesla. It's the people in them.
Brett
They'Re rolling out.
John Holmer
It's like the thing that people used to say is what's the difference between a cactus and a Porsche? Yeah. And cactus has the prick on the outside.
Brett
And the Corvette ones.
John Holmer
Yeah. They're all. Everything you can't afford. Usually says Brett put body parts in a Tesla. That would actually be a very good plan because no one would expect Brett. He would be cleared instantly, not even considered a suspect. This dude and a Tesla. No way.
Brett
This one's good.
John Holmer
It sounds like a D4VD. Singer found Holmberg's old notebook and went on a rampage. That's not what happened. I'm going to rampage. Sounded like you found. I'll tell you this? Yeah, I'll tell you right now, he found my notebook and wrote some songs. Probably those could be the lyrics, but. Yeah, you. You do that and you're guilty. So again, if you get a call today at work and you're hammering away on the roof bank. What's going on there? Todd, your phone's ringing. Yeah, I gotta. I'll grab it in a second. I get some. Him. Hello? You don't say. Okay, well, I'll be off at 5. No, no, I'm not coming home. Hang on. Not coming home immediately. I got a lot of roofing to do. No, she'll still be dead then. Okay, see you later. What was it that. Found a dismembered body in the back of my car. Don't you have to go home or something? No, the roof's not. Todd has a dead body in his truck and he's staying. You don't stay. You go home or you're guilty. Immediate.
Brett
Come on, Brett. Tell that amateur what he's doing wrong.
John Holmer
Yeah, no, there's a lot that he did wrong. Especially the faint like they probably got the call from the cops. David. D4V. How the hell do you say this? It's David. Well, that's first off. That's stupid. Whatever you're doing there anyway. We found your Tesla in an impound lock lot. Oh, I didn't know anyone had taken it. Well, brace yourself. There's a dead body in the back of it. What? That's right. Defort of it. They. They found her and she's all chopped up back there. You know anything about that? What? Morning sickness. Medicate k. PD Holmberg's morning sickness. Yeah, well, you should probably come home. I got a show at 7. Well, by all means, entertain the people and then come on back to the dead body. If you. We'll wait for you to forfeit it. Okay, bye. That is not how you handle that call. And it's also not how you spell David. Isn't that right? To forfeited for sure. That's brave.
Brett
This guy actually bought a Tesla? Used one. Check this out.
John Holmer
Oh, you can get. If I want to get one, I get it.
Brett
You can deal.
John Holmer
Look at this. This says I bought a Model 32023 two weeks ago for 17 grand. 40,000 miles. Sticker price was way over 40,000. It's got the good self driving mode, which I believe they'll charge about 8,000 for off the lot. These cars are not good at all. Very quick, but that is about it. I was in the Tesla with my friend and he's got an older one. And after being in Waymos and stuff. And by the way, driving down McDowell the other day, the new Waymo box. Have you seen these things? Things?
Brady
No.
Brett
New cars.
John Holmer
It's. First one I've seen. There's no, like. I don't think there's like a steering wheel in it or any, like, driver thing.
Brady
They're just like, why do we need this couches.
John Holmer
What? Yeah. You just get in and it goes.
Brady
Are they. They have side.
John Holmer
They're in Vegas. I. I didn't see. I just saw that there was like. No, it was benches. Like. Like regular benches. Like the door slam.
Brady
Facing the same.
John Holmer
Because they could. Yeah. Because they couldn't do it and get you in there if the couches were back up to the side. So they were side to side. Like a roof radio. But I'm looking at him like, is that not have a driver in it and like a wheel? And I'm like, oh, my God. They have them in Vegas now. They'll take up and down the strip in these. In these, like, circular seating areas with no, like, steer. It may have something.
Brady
Yeah.
John Holmer
But it's not like you're. It's. It's the future. And they're just tooling you around in these things.
Brady
They can make a smaller component.
John Holmer
Yeah.
Brady
You don't have to have like a cockpit for the.
John Holmer
Right. You don't need a driver's. Yeah.
Brett
So Kind can get his job back.
John Holmer
Oh, yes. The happiest guy in the world.
Brett
The party mobile.
John Holmer
Keim. Don't do it. Don't do it. Is Steve Keim, the former executive of security and vice president's gonna hire him back now. Football player, Operation general manager. Ships. Yeah. Time can come back because he can't get caught anymore. Just be drunk on his own. But yeah. I was in my buddy's Tesla and I'm like, what does this do? That's good. And he goes, oh, they haven't updated this good. He goes, it's actually not great. And it gets confused sometimes. It was. He put it on auto. Drive. Drive. And it. There was a section where there were no lines. And the thing just decided to go woohoo. Just start whipping around the road. And it doesn't know lights. I thought Tesla's new lights. It doesn't. It only knows what's in front of it. And if the car in front of it stopping, it'll stop. If not. And you're not paying attention. Zips right through the light. Yeah. And I'm like, stop lights.
Brett
It goes.
John Holmer
It doesn't. I thought that was one of the features. It isn't. It's great for freeways. It'll drive itself on a freeway as long as the lines are good. Yeah.
Brady
That Lincoln has the auto drive on. They call it Blue cruise is what it's called. But you can't. You can't just take your hands off the wheel. You still have to drive about 30 seconds and then. Okay, put your hands back on the wheel. The other thing is if you're looking at your phone or you're looking away.
John Holmer
It tells you it.
Brady
It season like eyes on the road.
John Holmer
I'm going the other way. I don't need my car to nag me anymore. It's already enough that the seat. Seatbelt thing won't show.
Brett
Already married. I mean.
John Holmer
Exactly. Yeah. I don't need my car telling me everything. I've already got that in the side seat. You're going too fast. You drive like a maniac. Like, shut up car.
Brady
But on the highway, yes, it's a lot easier.
John Holmer
It's a lot easier in straightaways. You can let go of the wheel in a regular car in Australia. I have self driving mode in the Jeep too. As long as the alignment's in shape.
Brady
It has the lane alignment or whatever.
Brett
Does yours stop though for lights or have you tried.
Brady
Yes, it'll stop if you have it on that. Yeah, it'll read the lights.
John Holmer
Oh, what's in front of you. Not the lights.
Brady
It'll.
John Holmer
It doesn't know red lights.
Brady
No, if that light. I haven't done it yet. Where I've just.
John Holmer
Don't test that.
Brett
Try it.
John Holmer
Don't try it. I'm doing. Don't do it. Try it. Don't do it, dummy.
Brett
We want to lunch with Brady today.
John Holmer
The last thing you want to do is find out what do you got to lose. Three years away from the pig. So yeah, throw it into the intersection. Let's just see what happens. No, don't do it. But yeah, the Tesla was just slamming on the brakes like it was last second stopping. He's like, I can't do it. I have to drive it myself. I don't know that he was all too pleased. Other than the speed. Speed. It's still the. Oh, they're fast. Still the fastest. They're great as far as that goes. And they're comfortable. They're kind of cool inside. But man, oh man, when Wilson was tooling me around on this, I had no idea what the technology was. It was. But you know what? I Knew wasn't going on in Wilson's. It was a dead body in the trunk. As far as, you know, diced. Good job, Wilson.
Brett
Were you guys in the Roosevelt district when you're cruising around?
John Holmer
Oh, we went to a son's game and then took 7th street back up. Yeah, we were pretty close to the 7th Avenue. We were actually close to the Roosevelt, and we didn't hit anybody with it, but a bunch of dudes with man buns were leaping onto it. Yeah. Anyway, get a body in the back of your truck, pretty much count on the fact the police are looking at you. And the second you act like your day is just normal after hearing that news, you did it. Deforfetted. And stop it. That's the worst rap R B name I've ever heard in my life. Life. What if I spelled David with a 4? What, do you work at the License plate bureau? That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Why. Why don't you put a one where the eye is and at least make it look like David? I don't like vowels. All right. They've always crossed me, like. All right, let's eliminate vowels and use numbers instead. That's smart. People aren't going to struggle with looking at that thing. Is your name David? Where's the I? It's the forted. Do I say the four? No, it's an A. Should have used an A. What happened to you? Why don't you just call yourself Big Weenie or, like, something good?
Brett
Because he had crocs.
John Holmer
4. Where the a is? Crocs are gonna Love this. The 4Vd, dummy. And he's a murderer. I'm convinced of it.
Brett
I can't wait to hear Chappelle talk about this one.
John Holmer
Oh, yeah, Chappelle. And that was. That was so frustrating watching Chappelle knowing that we did that exact same show a year earlier. Like, ever. Go back and listen. It's like Chappelle listened to it and then went on stage and took it. And he was right. We did that exact same thing with Jussie Smollett. And if he does it with the forfeited. God damn it, remember where you heard it first. What do you got on the big board of musical treats there, Bert?
Brett
All right, Wake Up Song brought to you by Action Ride Shop. And, well, it is time to get those bikes serviced and ready for the trails. And no better place to do it than at Action Ride Shop, with two locations right there off the Hoss Trail Trail at Power Road, McDowell. And of course, the OG on Gilbert Road and Southern. Doesn't matter if you bought it there or not. If it's a Huffy, a pivot, a Schwint, it doesn't matter. They got the best wrenches in town. They're get you all dialed in, you pick up a new bike too. So go to actionrideshop.com.
John Holmer
My detective buddy just sent me pictures. He goes, I just looked this guy up and did some image searches. He loves death. A bunch of his own image pictures are him covered in blood. He's got blood all over his hands. And this one, one. And then my detective buddy says because he's smart and he does this for a living, says the only way to get into a Tesla is by valet key. It's an electronic key in your phone or a phone he gave access to. They have tons of cameras recording outside. How smart is a guy who spells his name with a license plate vanity? He did this. He is effed. I don't know. I don't know how you get into a test, but I know it's because he couldn't.
Brady
You let. But you could have so someone else could drive that car. Like if you're going to give him access, you've got to give him access.
John Holmer
So he knows who had it. Yeah. Interesting. He killed some people. Brent, what do you got?
Brett
All right. On the list, Sound Guard and Birth Ritual for them getting into the rock and roll.
John Holmer
It's official. Yeah, man.
Brett
That's Sleep Token. The warning Veng SF9 is NLEs will be in town next week. Heart, Magic man for Magic Johnson, Raging Machine, Pantera in Flames, Static X, acd. Motorhead Killed by Death for the Tesla. Rapper and gnr used to love her for the video.
John Holmer
Yeah, I like that. You spelled it exactly right. Brett on the board. I looked it up. This is a great playlist. This is like. We should put this up on the like these people have suggested a great playlist. There isn't a song on there I don't like. I don't think maybe. No, there's one song I don't like on there. I would take a road trip with this.
Brett
Yeah, it's not bad.
John Holmer
Nice job, audience. Well done today. All right, let's go with Birth ritual, though, because I'm never turning that one down. That's one of my favorite song. Sound guard. It is my favorite Sound Garden song.
Brett
Mine too.
John Holmer
So good.
Brett
He just tears it up.
John Holmer
Just tears it apart. Music's good. Lyrics are incredible. Unreal Sound Garden. It's Birth Ritual and congrats I wonder who's going to do their. Like you said, who's going to do their. They're singing when they get inducted.
Brett
He won't, but I was voting for Johnny Strong from.
John Holmer
From Operator. Yeah.
Brett
Because he can hit those notes.
John Holmer
He does it. I wonder who can do it. I don't know. It's gonna be interesting.
Brady
It'll be end up some pop.
John Holmer
It'll be somebody you don't know.
Brett
Or it'll be like Dave Grohl and Eddie Vedder and all, you know, Seattle guys.
John Holmer
I don't know if he would, but the guy from the Struts, he's got a little bit of a different sound, but he can hit those notes and he's got the flare to pull off the stuff. I don't know.
Brady
It'll be Miley Cyrus.
John Holmer
It might be Lady Gaga or something. His daughter, I don't know. His daughter can sing like an angel, but I don't know if she sings metal. Anyway, Birthday.
Brady
Sabrina Carpenter.
John Holmer
If you don't know this one, you're watch. Let me just say, you're welcome. I'd watch Sabrina. Although she writes the worst songs I've ever heard in my life.
Brett
Well, she's not writing these, though.
John Holmer
She just looks good up there singing. She looks great. But man, those songs are dumb. Sound garden. You're welcome. It's 98. It's out of control. Roll now. PD.
Podcast: Holmberg's Morning Sickness | 98KUPD, Arizona
Date: September 10, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Main Theme: Listeners weigh in on teacher discipline; trashy (and possibly criminal) neighbor behaviors; the rapper D4VD's Tesla found with a body in the trunk sparks conversation about guilt and electric cars.
This episode dives into spirited discussions around societal issues, blending sharp humor with a pinch of controversy. The crew tackles the hot topic of teacher authority in classrooms, responds to an email about a suspicious neighbor swapping trash bins (potentially for criminal reasons), and unpacks the bizarre true crime story of rapper D4VD’s Tesla being discovered at an impound lot with a dismembered body in the trunk. Throughout, the hosts riff on generational attitudes, neighborhood weirdness, and the absurdities of modern life, especially surrounding electric vehicles.
| Timestamp | Segment | |-------------|-----------------------------------------------------------------------| | 02:59–08:58 | Teacher discipline, parental blame, old-school toughness | | 12:42–19:02 | Listener’s email: neighbor’s suspicious trash bin swapping | | 19:23–44:00 | D4VD’s Tesla/true crime discussion & e-vehicle mockery | | 28:00–38:45 | Electric car technology, resale, and implications for crime evidence | | 43:17–44:42 | Playlist picks, Soundgarden “Birth Ritual”, Hall of Fame speculation |
The group’s signature irreverence shines: sarcasm, dark humor, and raunchy commentary are freely deployed. John steers debates with wild analogies, Brett and Brady riff off each other with deadpan zingers, and stories constantly veer from personal memoirs to satirical hypotheticals, all while staying connected to trending news or listener emails.
For listeners new or returning, this episode offers the show’s classic mix of social commentary, neighborhood absurdity, black comedy, and hard rock radio energy.