09-12-25 - BR - FRI - Survey On AI Praise In The Workplace - Science News

Summary

---

Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness – AI Praise, Science News & Surveys

Episode Date: September 12, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg (B), Brady Bogen (C), Bret Vesely (A)
Theme: News commentary, workplace AI, science quirky facts, and signature show banter

---

Episode Overview

This episode kicks off with the crew dissecting a headline-grabbing news story, before diving into their signature mix of oddball science, workplace trends, and offbeat survey results. The main threads include:

• The ramifications of high-profile crime suspects and the fallout for people with similar names
• Video game players' surprising career advantages
• The rise of AI-driven praise in the workplace
• Science news: signs of life on Mars, animal oddities, and nature’s weirdest
  All are interspersed with classic Morning Sickness humor, memorable digressions, and sarcastic banter.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. High-Profile Crime, Identity & Parental Fallout (01:15 – 06:18)

• Tyler Robinson Arrest: The hosts riff on the challenge of sharing a name with a notorious suspect and the discomfort it causes.
  • “There’s a personal trainer out there who’s 27 years old is going to have a rough day.” — (Bret, 01:25)
• Hot Criminals & Public Fascination: The bizarre tendency of some to become enamored with good-looking suspects is discussed in reference to infamous past cases.
  • “It could spark some sort of weird girl revolution about hot bad guy killing people…” — (John, 02:01)
• Empathizing with Parents: They imagine the moment a parent realizes their kid's face is on the news.
  • “Can you imagine what your body does when you see the news and... realize it’s him?” — (John, 02:12)
• On College-Age Activism: The hosts reflect on how college years shape opinions, often in extreme or performative ways.

2. Video Game Nostalgia & Surprising Data (07:12 – 09:41)

• National Video Games Day: Data shows adults who played video games as kids now earn higher salaries, especially FIFA players.
  • “They found that adults who played video games as children now earn annual salaries that are on average of $5,400 higher than non gamers.” — (Brady, 07:25)
• Console Wars & Soccer Radio Snark: Lighthearted trash-talk about Xbox vs. PlayStation incomes and a sarcastic take on soccer radio commentary.
  • “Juan kicks the ball to Juan… Juan to one. One saved by Juan.” — (John, 08:06)
• Parental Trends: Almost all parents let their kids play games, which may positively impact grades and social lives.

3. Bizarre Science & Fun Facts (09:41 – 13:35)

• Shoe Store X-rays: A historical oddity—people once got feet X-rayed for shoe fitting.
  • “Those wooden radiation cabinets were called shoe fitting fluoroscopes.” — (Brady, 09:41)
  • Skepticism and confusion ensue about how recent such practices were.
• Random Health Risks: Consuming over 10.5 cups of sugar at once could be fatal.
  • “Just so you know.” — (Brady, 12:26)

4. Vacation Habits & Human Laziness (13:03 – 15:34)

• Vacation Rationalizations: People abandon budgets and healthy habits while traveling.
  • “56% say their budgets don’t exist. 47% say calories don’t count.” — (Brady, 13:33)
  • Humorous takes on resort laziness versus Airbnb pitfalls, including gross stories about hotel bathrooms.
• Preference for Resorts: John prefers hotels for having someone to sue and immediate service when things go wrong.

5. AI in the Workplace: Praise, Comfort… and Dread? (15:34 – 17:28)

• AI-Generated Recognition: 60% of surveyed employees value personalized, AI-driven praise as much as that from a human manager.
  • “All it does is praise you... you’re doing a great job. Wow, this is weird.” — (John, 16:19)
• Creepy Reassurance: The team jokes about how praise from AI feels like being prepared for replacement.
  • “At least that’s what your overlord would make you comfortable thinking.” — (John, 16:52)
  • “My days are numbered. The boss just told me he needs me.” — (John, 17:30)
• Insight: Underneath the jokes is a thread of concern about the blurring of meaningful human interaction and machine pop-ups.

6. Science News Roundup (17:35 – 22:02)

• Possible Life on Mars?: NASA sees rock formations potentially indicating ancient life; John immediately jokes about less glamorous explanations.
  • NASA: “...That’s the best evidence yet that microbial life once thrived there.” — (Brady, 17:59)
  • “Some martian jerk rag.” — (John, 18:09)
• Camouflaged Aliens & Space Paranoia: NASA’s dismissal of a ‘comet’ as non-alien is contested by John as typical government glibness.
  • “That’s what the aliens would want you to think.” — (John, 18:36)
• Animal Oddities:
  • Octopuses vs. Octopi – a running joke on pluralization (19:37–20:39)
  • Ghost sharks that grow forehead teeth for mating (20:39–21:02)
  • Mosquitoes love beer drinkers, with hosts trading complaints about being bitten in odd places
    • “Mosquitoes attack me like there’s no tomorrow… If I could come up with something that made my skin zap them, I’d do it.” — (John, 21:07)

7. Quirky Animal Stories & Viral News (22:15 – 27:52)

• Support Alligator Banned from Walmart: A man repeatedly takes his emotional support gator shopping; the hosts question his motivations and social life.
  • “You know what? He doesn’t have a creature called a girlfriend. I guarantee it.” — (John, 23:48)
• Virgin Birth at the Zoo: A UK zoo iguana produces offspring without any male — a rare occurrence called parthenogenesis.
  • “[They] become genetic clones of the mother.” — (Brady, 24:48)
• Cultural nostalgia: Jokes about defunct sodas like Tab and old diet drinks, relating to family quirks and memories.

8. Raccoon "Porch Pirate" Mystery (28:00 – 31:35)

• Raccoon Steals Package: A New York family’s missing delivery mystery ends with video evidence of a raccoon pilfering their dog food delivery.
  • “So they didn’t notice that… Chewy refunded them the $93 order.” — (Brady, 28:57)
  • Jokes about the raccoon’s “bench” strength and the family’s obliviousness.
  • “That’s just a dumb family.” — (John, 30:31)

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On AI Praise (16:19):
  • John: "All it does is tell you how great you are. You’re doing a great job. Hey. And I’m like, wow, this is weird. You don’t know what I’m doing."
• On Workplace Insecurity (17:30):
  • John: "My days are numbered. The boss just told me he needs me."
• Bizarre Explanation for Martian Life (18:09):
  • John: "Some Martian jerk rag."
• On Animal Support & Social Life (23:48):
  • John: "You know what? He doesn’t have a creature called a girlfriend. I guarantee it."
• On Family Cluelessness (30:31):
  • John: "That’s just a dumb family."

---

Important Timestamps

• 01:15 – 06:18: The arrest of Tyler Robinson and musings on parental dread and odd media reactions.
• 07:12 – 09:41: Video game careers, radio soccer hilarity, and generational media habits.
• 15:34 – 17:28: AI praise in the office and concerns about meaning, job security.
• 17:35 – 22:02: Science Report — possible Martian life; ghost sharks; beer, mosquitoes, and more.
• 22:29 – 27:52: Emotional support alligator and virgin birth iguana.
• 28:00 – 31:35: Raccoon as “porch pirate” upends a local news story.

---

Closing Notes

This episode blends news satire, sharp-witted banter, and random scientific facts in trademark ‘Morning Sickness’ style. The hosts bounce effortlessly from headline stories and social oddities to science news and pop culture, with running gags and candid asides throughout. Their skepticism about workplace AI and detours into animal news make for a lively, unpredictable listen.

Recommended for: Fans who enjoy irreverent current events commentary, weird science, and workplace culture debates—delivered with humor and a bit of Arizona edge.

Transcript

[A]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. Hey, it's Brett Vesely from Homeberg's morning sickness. Now fanduel is getting you ready for kickoff with an offer you don't want to miss. New customers can bet just $5 and get 300 in bonus bets if you win. That's right, pick a bet, bet five bucks and if it wins, you'll unlock $300 in bonus bets to use all across the map. And I don't know about you, but I could definitely use that of because I'm a Bears fan. But what are you going to do? Hey look, you can build parlays, bet player props, ride the live lines. Whatever your style, fanduel has you covered. The NFL season is finally here. The only question is, are you ready to play? Visit FanDuel.com KUPD that's FanDuel.com KUpd to download the FanDuel app today and get started. 21 plus in present in Arizona first online real money wager only five dollar first deposit required. Bonus issued is non withdrawable bonus best which expires seven days after receipt restrictions apply. Terms of sportsbook.fanduel.com gambling problem. Call 1-800-next-step or text next step to 53342.

[B]

I'm trying as hard as I can not to swing my head over to the computer with all the news on it and see all the breaking news about this this guy they caught in the Charlie Kirk thing. I am fully admitting that I am invested in this story. They've got pictures of them. 22 year old kid Tyler Robinson. I googled Tyler Robinson and then put Instagram in. There's a personal trainer out there who's 27 years old is going to have a rough day.

[A]

Oh yeah.

[B]

And that's a tough getting more followers. Well he probably is. That's good for him. He's going to get but he's got a, you know, he's young, he looks good.

[C]

I'm not the dude.

[B]

He's going to have to do the I'm not the dude. And Tyler Robinson is not exactly a an uncommon name. I'm sure there's a few. Tyler Robinson's out there. Gonna be a tough day for the Tyler Robinson people again. The biggest worry that people have had. He's not unattractive. It could, it could spark some sort of weird girl revolution about hot bad guy killing people thing that we had with Luigi Mangione. I'll never understand that. But also, he's not crazy good looking. He's just somewhere in the middle so we can temper that a little bit. His parents turned him in. Keeps saying that his parents were like, that's it. I wonder what that's like when you're, when you, God, you imagine that. Can you imagine what your body does when you see the news and like, man, oh my God. That's up by where our son lives. And if you've got a son that's a little bit loud about politics, he's 22 and you're like, oh boy, where was Tyler? And then you see the pictures that start circulating and you realize it's him. God, can you imagine? Like, I would struggle with that if it was a friend. But when your kid, like Paul Manchaka senior, we always talk about him when he found out his kid was faking being mentally challenged to get people to wipe his ass and touch him. And then some 19 different nurses came to Paul Manchaka Jr's house. And when that news broke, Paul Manchaka senior had to be like, oh my.

[C]

God, I told you, keep the disguise longer.

[B]

It is a. Yeah, it's a tough one, man, but there it is. So parents turned him in. Think your parents would have turned you in for sure. Yeah, mine too, Brett.

[A]

Yeah, actually, in this case, that's when you're out on.

[B]

That's when you're right on.

[C]

Yeah, we lost him.

[A]

I never say that, but I have.

[B]

To wonder like, you know, and that's the thing, we're all going to ask questions later, like what, what was said before that made you go, we're losing Tyler Because a lot of 22 year old kids go to college and they get all active and they think they're going to solve the world's problems, just have that moment. That's why they're so, you know, weird in college and they go through those phases of telling their parents they don't know what's going on and old people are dumb and we're going to change the world. Because you do feel like that when you're in your 20s.

[C]

You do, it's a little different. But I can remember, you know, one away freshman year, even the first, after the first semester, coming back home, you know, Thanksgiving, you meet some of your high school classmates that have been away at their college.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

One has a southern accent, right?

[B]

Yeah. I mean, they don't have their personalities.

[C]

Because you're meeting a whole new crew and all sudden you emulate a lot.

[B]

Of people are still clay when they're 20 for sure. And that's the whole point of college, is to make sure. Like, yeah, let's mold you into something that can be dangerous, that you could be molded a certain way.

[C]

How y' all doing?

[B]

But the parents have to recognize like, he's gone crazy. But you'd never think that your kid would do this anyway. I don't know how true it is that the bullet casings have messages scrawled out about transgender rights and anti fascism. And I've heard rumors, but, you know, once the press conference happens, we'll see. But now it's out there. So, ladies, if you're getting a little bit moist over this guy, check yourself. The Luigi thing wasn't cool. You can find him attractive and think he's the bad guy at the same time. Let's not go nuts and start some sort of movement to free him. It all started a few years ago with that. Remember the hot felon, that dude, this, whose mug shot went up and Travis, terrible human being. And they got a modeling contract out of it. I don't know. The world's crazy. So good news is they got who they are. Pretty darn sure who does. They've got him in a bulletproof vest in his mug shot, which means they're going to be walking him around and they're a little worried about somebody retaliating or.

[C]

Or what he was wearing that he's.

[B]

Been on the run or quieting him because that we all remember what happened to Lee Harvey Oswald when they started a prison transfers and somebody came up and said, well, he's not going to tell you what he knows. If this is one of those deals, then you find out that way. But boy, they got them all geared up.

[A]

Jack Ruby was connected, too.

[B]

Oh, Jack Ruby was. Yeah. You can't say a word. Only assassin in history that didn't claim his work. We'll see if this guy does it. It's terrible, but at least we got that covered. Let's cover some more stuff. It's time for the Brady Report. It's brought to you by our [e-mail] Get Shady Brady did it in his backyard. He's got all sorts of great stuff with these retractable shades. It looks outstanding. It looks beautiful. And you can have the exact same thing in your yard or even more or less. It's up to you. Get them out there to have them look at your space. Get an estimate and, you know, an assessment. They'll go out and tell you what they think, what they got their products and everything else. And you can drop some shade in an area in your backyard that is a little bit sun drenched. Drop at 20 degrees if you get the right thing up there. That's pretty cool. And you'll kill all those UV rays which are the ones that are supposed to be really bad for you. So how about that? Get on it allproche.com Brady report it.

[C]

Good Friday morning to you Phoenix. Hello world. We've made it.

[B]

Hi.

[C]

Happy National Video Games Day.

[B]

That's a good idea. Drown yourself in those today. That's a good reality killer.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

They found that adults who played video games as children now earn annual salaries that are on average of $5,400 higher than non gamers. The people who played FIFA led the pack earning nearly 71,000 a year. For comparison, the median annual salary for US workers is about 60k.

[A]

So that's soccer.

[B]

Yeah, the FIFA soccer game. You make more money if you're into that.

[A]

Man, I got to get into landscape.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I was wondering when Thriller said last week we, we the sports station broadcast Phoenix Rising games on the radio.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so I tuned in just in case and it's just, it's just basically Juan kicks the ball to Juan. Juan over mid stripe to Juan. Juan. Oh, back to Juan. Other team has it. Juan has Juan over the mid stripe. Oh, back over the mid stripe the other way. Juan to one. One saved by Juan. Blown away at the action that was on second soccer radio.

[C]

Candy Crush.

[B]

You make a lot of money playing Candy Crush.

[C]

Yeah, that's the second to FIFA. As for the consoles, PlayStation gamers make more than those who play Nintendo Xbox.

[A]

Take that Xbox guys.

[B]

Yeah. PlayStation won the battle.

[A]

Damn right.

[B]

Oh, it's a draw. The one shake hands afterwards. One from the Rising, one from Salt Lake City FC 1 and one uniting as we see great Juan sportsmanship out there. Phoenix Rising soccer on the radio. Kill yourselves.

[C]

About this study also claims 48 of children who play video games have excellent grades in School and 58% have excellent social lives with other kids.

[B]

Well, by what standard today's that they're good on screens.

[C]

Overall, a whopping 95% of today's parents have let their kids play video games to some extent.

[A]

Yeah, they don't want to deal with them.

[B]

Yeah, that's true. Somebody just asked me what the final score was in the game last Saturday. Want to one? I mean come on. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you very much.

[C]

A couple of basis fun facts. People used to get Their feet X rayed at the shoe store to check their shoe fit. Those wooden radiation cabinets were called shoe fitting fluoroscopes.

[B]

What wooden radiation cabinets? Here was this. I never went to a Foot Locker and had a wooden radiation cabinet.

[C]

And it couldn't have been maybe 50 years ago?

[A]

Tape measures then.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Sorry. You didn't look into it.

[B]

You're the one telling us about it. And you're asking when.

[C]

Guitar Center.

[B]

I don't know. Box. And that was to make sure you didn't have, like broken feet. I've never seen that.

[A]

I haven't either.

[B]

Because I'm not 88.

[C]

That looks older than 50 years.

[B]

Looks like an iron lung. Did you have to. Was that checking for polio before you tried shoes on?

[A]

No. Let's see here.

[B]

I don't even think they had shoe stores when they had this machine. They had a cobbler in town that would build you shoes.

[A]

30S through the 50s. It says.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

They didn't have tape measures then. You couldn't change that.

[B]

Yeah. Morning sickness. Medicate. K U P D Limu Gamu and Doug Limu and I always tell you to customize your car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual. But now we want you to feel it. Cue the emu music. Limu. Save yourself money today.

[C]

Increase your wealth.

[B]

Customize and save. We save. That may have been too much feeling. Only pay for what you need@liberty mutual.com. liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty Savings. Very unwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance Company and affiliates.

[C]

Excludes Massachusetts.

[B]

Holmberg's morning sickness. Well, I tell you right now I need that thing because my left foot is so much bigger than it was a week ago. I don't get it. Like, come feel my ear. You can see in this shoe that my toes.

[C]

It's cramming right here.

[B]

They're going to the end. The other one. Plenty of room.

[A]

Kirby's getting some new kicks.

[B]

Kirby. Kirby.

[C]

She'll like those.

[B]

These are nice. I have two pairs of these.

[C]

Guitar center was called the Organ center when it was founded in 1959.

[B]

Don't get confused, Brady. Run over there and think they can help you.

[C]

It sold small appliances and home organs. Not human organs. The name was changed to guitar center in 1971. Last little nugget. Eating ten and a half cups of sugar at once could kill you. Just so you know.

[B]

Okay, I'll stop at 9. Yeah, it's called safe. It's called accelerated diabetes and you're doing it in a day. Ten cups of sugar kills ten and a half everyone.

[A]

Oh, so you can go to ten, apparently.

[C]

Yeah, it says ten and a half.

[B]

Well, there's a tick tock challenge. I'm gonna get behind 10. 10 cups of sugar. If you weigh 300 pounds, you're probably four. Potentially kill you. I think less. Ironically, that's one where the bigger you are, the less you have to do to kill yourself. Like a real skinny person could clobber said about alcohol.

[C]

People can. Certain people can take more alcohol than someone. Did a little survey of people on vacations, and they say a lot of vacations, people let usual rules go out the window. Like when you're on vacation. 56% say their budgets don't exist. 47% say calories don't. They don't count.

[B]

Yeah, you eat worse than you should.

[C]

And 59% say they skip working out or even cleaning up.

[B]

They don't clean themselves.

[C]

Tidying up.

[B]

Oh, just around the hotel.

[C]

Don't make the bed.

[B]

Why would you. Yeah, you get people for that.

[C]

You do. But even though, you know, I think that includes people that you know. Vrbo.

[B]

Yeah. Well, clean up your mess. You trash the place.

[C]

Yeah, probably a little factor of that.

[B]

Be a pig. That's the one reason I prefer resorts over any of that Airbnb stuff. It's because A, there's a maid, and B, there's someone to sue. The worst part is going into an Airbnb and realizing, oh, I hate this place. There's no other room that you're staying there. That's it. You screwed yourself. I went into MGM once in Vegas and went into the bathroom and there were floaters in the toilet.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

And I called down and I'm like, I'm not. I don't know. I just need another room. I can't even think about what's going on in here immediately. Give me a suite. You go to an Airbnb and there's floaters in the toilet. Like, we'll just try to flush it. You're gonna give me another house? We don't have another house. This is it.

[C]

I wonder if that's part of their service now that they're offering. Because now you can order. A chef. You can order.

[B]

Sure you can. Concierge.

[C]

They're doing concierge.

[B]

I've got that going on, the thing I'm gonna do here at the Scottsdale rental.

[C]

So I bet you. You could probably hire.

[B]

You can have a maid come in. It's gonna cost.

[C]

Right after the masseuse, she comes in.

[B]

Every day at 11, cleans up after your pig ass. Flushes the toilets. The worst part about this thing at the MGM was there were floaters. Big ones, too. But it had that sanitary strip around the toilet. So somebody did. So it was the cleaner. It was the cleaners or some maintenance guy or the cleaners saw it and said, this is clogged. Because it was. It was the water all the way to the top.

[C]

The floater dealing with this.

[B]

Floaters were close. They just put sanitary strip over the thing and put it down. Like no one would notice this. Well, I happen to be the next guy in line.

[C]

In another survey, 83% of U.S. employees say praise is more important than ever. In the age of AI, that sounds like proof that human connection remains essential. But Maybe not, because 60% of employees say AI tailored recognition, such as personalized praise alerts is just as meaningful as recognition from a human manager.

[B]

Right. Hey. All it does is praise you. When I asked it if I had. When I had concrete mix in my eye last Saturday and I asked, is this bad? It asked me what I was doing, and I said, I splashed concrete. I'm sure you're doing a great job. Like, it praised my work for a second and then told me to go to the hospital.

[A]

You do AI a single mom or something or what is it?

[B]

Have you ever talked to it?

[A]

No.

[B]

It. All it does is tell you how great you are. You're doing a great job. Hey. And I'm like, wow, this is weird. You don't know what I'm doing. I'm sure what you're doing is really good. Wow. Oh, very strange.

[C]

Stretch. The other thing. They say the workers get an extra jolt out of having artificial intelligence, telling them that their human intelligence is valued and irreplaceable. For now.

[B]

At least that's what your overlord would make you comfortable thinking. Yeah, the thing that's about to take you over wants you to be cozy. Hey, you're doing great. We need you. If we needed to let you go, you'd know it.

[C]

Okay, the double whammy. The good is AI on top of human praising from your manager's appearance.

[B]

I think if your manager tells you that or your AI tells you that, that means that they're close to the complete sweep out of you. Hey, if I was going to get ready, I'd have done it by now. Don't you worry. I need you. Oh, boy.

[C]

You just got to check in every once in a while.

[B]

My days are numbered. The boss just told me he needs me.

[C]

And now it's time for some science news.

[B]

All right.

[C]

Hello, my Friends, Professor Brady Bogut here with your science news. Sweet. NASA shared a photo of a rock that might show some signs of ancient life on Mars. They say there's little spots all over it that shows that. That's the best evidence yet to that microbial life once thrived there.

[B]

Some Martian jerk rag.

[C]

Jerk rock.

[B]

Well, it turned into a rock over time. Mine has he used it. You've used it enough. They all turn into rock spray.

[C]

They spent a year analyzing the sample and say they can't find another explanation.

[B]

I just gave it to you. I'm not even a scientist. I'm like Neil Degrasse Tyson over here.

[A]

Martian jackrag.

[B]

That's a Martian Martian jackrag. Good band.

[C]

NASA also threw some cold water on the idea that the interstellar object zipping through the solar system is aliens. They basically said, yeah, it's just a comet. It looks like a comet. It does comet things.

[B]

That's what the aliens would want you to think. Wouldn't they build the space when they build spaceships? If they were come to attack us, that did what comets do. So they. They're undetect. We built the stealth bomber.

[C]

Missing for years.

[B]

You think they're just gonna build this gigantic detectable thing if they're coming here to kill us? No, they're gonna build a. It's camouflage. Looks like a comet. Must be a comet. Are we that dumb? Go.

[A]

Look at our.

[B]

Go. Yeah, we are. Look at our Air force Trojan horse all over. No, it's not the Trojan horse. The trojan horse was at least a loud gift that a couple people went, do we trust this? And then a dummy opened the door like Marcus here in the building. It just lets people in the front door up into theirs. Yeah, that's, it's. It's the thing. Like we have to build it. We have ghillie suits. We cover our tanks and leaves and branches. We paint whatever it is the color of the warfare. You think space invaders are going to show up in a big shiny Volvo? No, they're going to have a comet looking thing. Or at least it's going to be camouflaged as a. We're dumber than we've ever been.

[C]

A study found octopuses like to use different arms.

[B]

Octopi, they're saying that you're saying.

[A]

Is it octopi?

[B]

I don't know. I'm just effing with Brady right now.

[C]

But I think that might be acceptable. I remember talking.

[B]

You don't know that stuff. You don't remember talking about octopuses and octopi with Anyone. You do?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

What a horrible life you've led. That. That's a memorable conversation.

[C]

Five years, three days.

[B]

I don't think so. You remember. You think you remember that, but we had this talk just the other day.

[C]

Liquid death produced 11 packs of. What's it called? Liquid Death. Yeah, that was me.

[B]

You couldn't remember the beginning of this. I couldn't remember the beginning of this sentence. But you remember your octopus dilemma.

[A]

He's right, though. It is octopuses or octopi.

[B]

It could go either way. I know. Well, he's had those chats. I was just effing with him. I was playing around. I don't know.

[C]

The other thing is, there's a type of bottom feeder shark called ghost sharks. They found they grow a second set of teeth out of their foreheads.

[B]

Cool.

[C]

The male uses them to latch onto the females for helping.

[B]

Yeah, it's like grease lightning when you. When the hubcaps grabbed into the other latches in. That's neat.

[C]

And in bug news, a study found mosquitoes love beer drinkers.

[B]

I've heard about this. I'm not much of a beer drinker, but I am. I might as well be a blue light. Mosquitoes attack me like there's no tomorrow. If I could come up with something that made my skin zap them, I'd do it. And I'd make every area we're in mosquito free. They love me.

[A]

Thigh's the same way.

[B]

She just gets attacked my ankles, oddly enough, the top of my ass crack. Like just above my ass crack. Inevitably, I'll get bit by. I got one right now. Mosquitoes bite me there.

[A]

Maybe it's that saddlewood soap you're using.

[B]

No, Brad, it's been since I'm a child. It's nothing to do with my ass soap. Morning sickness. 88 Kupd Holmberg's morning sickness. Which, by the way, even if it's a few bites I have to take, I still wash my ass. Not gonna stop me.

[C]

And that's your science news.

[B]

I get bit by too many mosquitoes, I quit washing my ass. I'm not doing that. I wonder what. I wonder if. I wonder if it's the soda because I drink. So I'm not doing it right now.

[A]

Still getting bit, though.

[B]

I haven't been in a mosquito area yet. Well, because it's too hot still. I got bit in the ass the other day. They're out. It's just like. Yeah, I might have to stand by some puddles.

[A]

We get them because we got the.

[B]

We got irrigation Irrigation.

[A]

So, yeah, killer floats up.

[C]

Wesley Silver Silva lives in western Pennsylvania. And he walked into a Walmart like he's been doing the past three years with his emotional support alligator. Jin Seoshi is the name of the alligators. Five foot long. And they finally said, that's it. Finally come in.

[B]

The first time you say that, they.

[C]

Made it sound like this. He was turned around with the alligator. Most people like, yeah. And the guy's like, I've been doing this for three years.

[B]

Doesn't make it right.

[A]

He's like that. Like we talked about yesterday. It's like that jerk off on. On Mill Avenue walking around with a boa constrictor around his neck.

[B]

It's my emotions.

[C]

He says, usually when I walk in the store, people.

[B]

No, nobody's. Nobody's singing. Yeah. You're ignoring the people that are screaming and running.

[C]

So there's Wesley. And then this is a picture of Jinseyoshi.

[B]

You can have. Oh, he's good. He's in a sweater.

[C]

Yeah. The sweaty dress is in.

[B]

I'm sure Jinsey Yoshi's thrilled. It's fine that you have a pet gator that you seem to get along with. I have a prediction on how your life's gonna end, but maybe I'm wrong.

[C]

Surprisingly enough, he also has some other creatures.

[B]

He's got some snakes because he's dying for attention. You know what? He doesn't have a creature called a girlfriend. I guarantee it. He's alone.

[C]

Didn't say no.

[B]

It does. It doesn't have to.

[A]

He's dressing the gator like this.

[B]

He's gonna die banging the gator. Yeah. The second the gator sees him with a heart on next time, the gator's gonna. You think your wife uses a lot of teeth?

[C]

An iguana at the zoo. At a zoo in United Kingdom has given birth despite never having mated with a male. According to the people that are working there, it's a virgin birth. One of the rarest events in the animal kingdom.

[B]

There we go.

[C]

This exotic zoo in Telford, England, female cask headed iguana was able to give birth to eight healthy hatchlings last week because a natural reproductive phenomenon called pathenogenesis.

[B]

Parthenogenesis, it doesn't matter.

[C]

Which allows unfertilized eggs to grow into embryos that become genetic clones of the mother.

[B]

They were feeding it full of stuff too, right? It's in a lab. This is like they gave that thing too much tab and cigarettes and stuff. And something happens. Like, wonder what happens. They give geckos tab and cigarettes. My God, they get pregnant.

[C]

Whatever.

[B]

Science weirdness. Yeah, try it.

[C]

Give it some courage.

[B]

Give it some. Oh, Jesus Christ. It grew a horn and shot out another one. We get this thing pregnant all day long. Get the peanut butter.

[C]

Still can't get good teeth for some reason.

[B]

What if we tried it bigger, like a gator or something? It's a lot of Tab. I don't even know where to get that much Tab. It's easier to get cocaine on the streets than it is a six pack of Tap.

[A]

They still make it?

[B]

I don't know.

[C]

Gotta be retro.

[B]

But I don't have a retro aisle in the store. That would be expired clothes, foods, like a knockoff Tab. No, I think they. Well, last time I had tab was 1996. And I remember it because in Kingpin, Bill Murray was drinking gin and Tab and my friend Mark and I thought that was hilarious. So we went and got a six pack of Tab and some gin, and we were drinking it after we saw Kingpin. And that led to the classic moment where a girl who was smoking in our room was reading the back of the Tab can that said, this product is known to contain carcinogens and has been given. Has given lab rats cancer. And she took a drag off her smoke and went, who the hell would drink this stuff? It gives you cancer. Like you're the dumbest person on the planet.

[A]

Was she hot, though?

[B]

It's pretty good looking.

[A]

There's another thing. Covid killed Tab. Discontinued on New Year's Eve, 2020.

[B]

No kidding. Tab couldn't make it through Covid. We gotta bring Tab back and then take a sip of it and realize why it went away.

[A]

That stuff was terrible.

[B]

Oh, it was terrible. It was for every. Everybody had an aunt whose house had a six or a Tab in it. You go over there and you want a drink, and she's got Tab and that horrible crystal light light. Not the good crystal light stuff that had nothing in it. Just made piss water.

[C]

Our own old owner of the Zone, Mike Jorgensen. Yeah, was like you with tab. You drink 20 a day.

[B]

Look what happened to him.

[A]

Remember Pepsi Light, too? And the blue can with the lemon flavor in it?

[B]

Oh, diet, right?

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Same aunt had diet, right? She never had good drinks. You'd have to drink out of the hose at Aunt Joan's house. It was horrible. Open her fridge and it's a Tab and celery.

[C]

That's all Bunny would buy. Tab growing up. Soda was either Tab or that. The Diet Pepsi.

[B]

Lemon.

[A]

Pepsi Light, no sugar.

[C]

Soda and Grape Nuts.

[B]

She knew you were getting it somewhere here.

[A]

I have chemicals instead.

[C]

She caused me to farm it out.

[B]

No, no, no. You were farming it out. And she's like, we can't have it here too. I don't know where he's foraging for tab and berries, but he's getting it.

[C]

Can't stop this machine this kid is eating.

[B]

So at least his home base can't have that stuff in it. Can't stop work for it. You knew where they were hiding the real stuff.

[C]

A family in Plattsburgh, New York is dealing with a porch pirate. The last package taken was a back a box from Chewy's. And they actually have a. Yeah, $93 worth. It was. There's dog food. Big bag of dog food. They finally caught it on the ring camera. But there's a package or a bench on their porch that you open up. It says fedex put the deliveries in there. Still. The Porsche Pirate. Open it up. It was a raccoon.

[B]

The Porsche fire. It was.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, so it wasn't a man.

[C]

No, they showed it going there, and.

[B]

It was just stealing the. Oh, so it stole the Chewy box. Those are heavy.

[C]

Sure was. I mean, it had to been 40 pounds.

[B]

And the raccoon ate it all and then took the box and then.

[C]

And then was able to pull out what was left in the. In the bin.

[B]

Wow. So they didn't notice that.

[C]

So Chewy refunded them the $93 order.

[B]

Wait a minute. The raccoon lifted the box and took it somewhere else.

[C]

Not only that, lifted the lid of the.

[B]

Yeah, to get it. He had to lift it out and.

[C]

Then goes in there and gets the box open.

[B]

Help. This doesn't add up.

[C]

They're pretty crafty.

[B]

They're not smart enough to lift a 50 pound box out of another box. Well, why wouldn't he just take the whole box? He didn't know there was a box.

[C]

I think he opened the box, then opened the bag, started chowing on it for a while. They let it go for, you know, they didn't know what was going on. And then when it filed enough down, ate enough, it took. What was it?

[A]

Atlas.

[B]

The raccoon. It's even lifting 20 pounds over its head to get it out of the box.

[C]

Well, when they finally caught the raccoon, they asked, what do you bench?

[B]

He's benching a bunch. About five Chewies. That doesn't make sense. So they had a storage.

[C]

He might not have pulled the whole bag out of it.

[B]

Well, then they would.

[C]

Then they Open.

[B]

But then they would have known it's a raccoon.

[C]

Yeah, they caught him.

[B]

That's what I'm saying. That wouldn't have been a Porch Pirate story if they'd have just gone outside and seen, okay, some guy's been rifling through the bag of dog food and he ate half of it.

[C]

And he got the Slim Jims the day before.

[B]

Yeah, but he's leaving evidence. How dumb is the family, is what I'm saying. Oh, Jesus. The porch pirate came in here and ripped this bag open, started eating these goddamn people. Like, I think you might have a woodland creature digging around the food on your porch. And why aren't you picking up your bag? Is it out there all night?

[C]

And then they call and, you know, trying to figure. We have a porch pirate.

[B]

Yeah, they're trying to get some guy arrested. It was a coon. And everybody's. Everybody's screaming. Now you got people running up and down the roads. You can't do that. You can't. That's just a dumb person. Honey, what's this look like to you? Looks like we've got a man on the street stealing our stuff. Or at least half of it at a time. Yeah, this does look like the work of humans. You know how humans are known to take their little paws and tear into. Am I confusing humans with raccoons again? Yes. Oh, I'm so silly. That's a dumb family. We went outside and half the bags.

[C]

Because it hadn't been sitting there for a while. Well.

[B]

And when you go outside and you see half of it's gone, it's not a Porch pirate.

[C]

Although I had one overnight. There's delivery, you know, 10 o'. Clock.

[B]

But if you woke up the next morning.

[C]

I got it.

[B]

Okay, but if you woke up, Porch.

[C]

Pirate could have gone to town.

[B]

They don't do that. Ortho Orange Pirates wouldn't shred your ortho thing and leave it on the porch. And like, geez, this guy really mad at my feet. Like you'd know immediately. Oh, jeez.

[C]

That was a human.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Idiot.

[B]

That's dumb. All right. You got any?

[C]

I do, but we're missing Toledo. Where's Brett?

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

I wouldn't say we're missing him.

[C]

Well, usually he comes in.

[A]

Yeah, I've never said. I've never said this before, but Bailey and Crandall has some class. They're taking the week off.

[B]

Taking a whole week of videos.

[A]

They're gonna be back Monday.

[C]

Let's just do that.

[B]

Seen enough videos. I agree.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

All right. There's no reason to watch something and be shocked by it. All right, good. We don't need you, Richard.

[C]

He came in.

[B]

I know. Well, he came because I screamed. But you're good. We got Bruce Bruce coming in.

[C]

Hey, hey.

[B]

Who cancels on Bruce Bruce and what?

[C]

20 minutes, 25.

[B]

All right, we got Bruce Bruce coming in. Bruce. Bruce wasn't going to come in because he had another media obligation. They called us and said, you want Bruce Bruce. I'm like, I love Bruce Bruce.

[A]

We get seconds.

[B]

Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. Maybe we should have said no. But I like him so much. Anyway, Bruce Bruce will join us in a little bit. We'll talk to him next. There goes your Brady report. It's 98. It's out of control now. 98.