Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona's #1 Morning Show

Episode Summary: 09-15-25 – FULL SHOW – MONDAY
Broadcast Date: September 15, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo

Episode Overview

This episode kicks off the week by recapping NFL games (and the hosts’ resultant moods), highlighting outrageous local news, riffing on the new “Citizen” crime app, debating shame and public safety, and dropping memorable rants on everything from TikTok parenting to girls’ soccer, odd workplace confessions, the rising dependence on AI, and more. The show’s signature mix of irreverent humor, social commentary, and unfiltered banter is on full display, with plenty of memorable one-liners and laugh-out-loud moments.

Key Topics & Discussions

1. NFL Week 1 Reactions & Fan Pain

[00:50–09:50]

• Steelers, Seahawks, Bears, and Bengals Woes: John vents about his Steelers’ loss, laments the “new kicking ball” making field goals too easy, and mocks Brady’s Bengals for their early season-ending injury to Joe Burrow.
• Iconic Rant:

  “We got a problem in the NFL and it’s the new kicking ball… You get to the 30, 35–field goal range. I don’t want to watch 65-yarders. Everything sucks.” (A, 04:03)

• Fashion Distractions: Gripe about NFL players’ “fit cam” outfits and social media priorities.
• Memorable Quote:

  “Kyler Murray does some stuff, just–somebody needs to talk to him. He’s lost it.” (A, 08:47)

2. Wild Arizona News: The Movie Theater Pee Incident

[10:30–18:00; 29:40+ for callback]

• The Viral West Valley Theatre Incident:
  A man exposes himself and urinates in a Surprise, AZ movie theater during a children’s film (“Demon Slayer”), allegedly peeing on a kid, then gets beaten by another patron before shrugging it off and being arrested.
• Host Suggestions for Justice:
  • On Shame:

    “We need to be more honest in society. TikTok and Instagram show us the horrible events–the people doing these horrible things need to be exposed constantly.” (A, 14:46)

  • Public Shaming Proposals: Suggests giant billboards, sky screens, and digital “most wanted” for local perps.
  • Memorable PSA:

    “Remember: Don’t piss on each other. Unless they ask.” (A, 32:00)

• Hunger Games Reference:

  “Part of your sentence… is that sometimes when I go outside, you just hear [a noise] and this guy lights up in the sky and says he pees on people in theaters.” (A, 15:01)

3. Citizen App, Crime, and the Arizona Crime Map

[17:30–28:40 (recurring)]

• Citizen App Review: John describes the “Citizen” app, which tracks neighborhood and citywide police and emergency calls in real time, adding running color commentary about local crime rates and neighborhood “hotspots.”
• Notable Quote:

  “Go to the app, you’ll get lost in it… Maryvale just looks like someone threw darts at a map–we don’t have enough cops!” (A, 20:41)

• Brady quips:

  “If you want to get peed on, no better time of year than now to go to the West Valley.” (B, 11:39)

4. On Police Work – Call for Compassion

[26:55–29:45]

• Reality of Policing: John argues for more public empathy toward cops, outlining the “bad days” and gross calls they endure (including cleaning up after the pee incident).
• Notable Quotes:

  “You got to realize… cops have to deal with people pissing on each other at work.” (A, 26:55)
  “Give cops a break. The guy’s got to go bust up two non-English speaking women fist-fighting outside Circle K at 6 a.m.” (A, 28:43)

5. Parenting, Phones, and Internet Outrage

[56:54–73:13]

• Social Media & Kids:
  • John rails against parents who expect the government to regulate what their kids see on TikTok/Instagram, insisting “Be a parent, take the phone away. Don’t complain.”

    “Your son seeing stuff is on you. 100% your fault if he sees it.” (A, 56:54)

• Phone Privileges Nostalgia:
  • The hosts recall strict phone rules as teens; John shares a story about sneaking a late-night call to a crush and the ensuing family comedy.
• Girls Soccer Diatribe:
  • John mocks the pointlessness of young girls’ soccer goalies, blaming “the loss of fathers in the home” on “the rise of girls’ soccer,” and jokes about the futility of traveling teams and sports investments.
  • Quote:

    “Girls soccer would be a lot better if there were no goalies and it was just incumbent upon the players to keep the ball out of the goal.” (A, 66:48)

6. Public Shame, Billboards, and PSAs for “Assholes of the Year”

[35:44+; recurring]

• Campaign for Public Shaming:
  • Multiple riffs on using billboards, radio ads, blimps, and drones to publicly shame local degenerates (especially urination offenders, sex offenders, scammers).
• Humor & Satire:
  • Proposes a city-sponsored segment: “Heel of the Year Award,” joking ad reads like “Lemil Hull pissed on a kid in a movie theater. Don't pee on people.”
• Memorable PSA Tagline:

  “Don’t pee on anyone who doesn’t want you to pee on them. That’s what we’ve learned today. You have to get permission.” (A, 32:00)

7. Entertainment Recap: Emmys, TV, Movies, and Candid Reviews

[40:22–46:57]

• Emmys & TV Commentary:
  • Praise for Sydney Sweeney’s on-stage presence (“She knows her money makers… Big natural cans – we’re not used to that!” A, 41:45)
  • General disillusionment with awards shows, TV, and recent movies (“Weapons” panned: “One out of five stars. Don’t waste your time.” A, 39:52)
• Trans Actress “Hunter Schafer” Surprise:
  • John shares an awkward (and hilarious) recounting of being surprised to learn “Euphoria’s” Hunter Schafer is trans after searching for “Hunter Schafer nudes.”
  • Quote:

    “I didn’t know I was searching for this without knowing… That one would have fooled me. That dude has nice cans!” (A, 46:38)

8. Random Headlines, Local Oddities, and Laughs

*[87:30+]

• Fun Facts:
  • More Americans die from cows than spider bites.
  • Russia classified drinks under 10% ABV as “regular food” until 2011.
• Weird News:
  • Credit card machines at weddings for honeymoon funds.
  • Pet crematorium workers hospitalized after FBI “meth evidence” incineration leaks toxic fumes.
  • Calgary man tunnels through ceiling to burglarize woman’s apartment above.
  • Doctor loses license after abandoning surgery mid-procedure for a sex break with a nurse.

9. Listener Emails and “What Would Brady Do?” Advice

[135:56+]

• Sex Advice:
  • Woman asks: “Is using toys in bed disrespectful to my husband?” — The consensus: “Quit being a baby. If a girl wants to break out toys, let her. You gotta give a little.”
• Game Day Stress Relief:
  • Listener claims to self-soothe during Cowboy games. Brady suggests stepping away from games if too stressful; John suggests “the Holmberg Method” (a quick tug).
• Emmy Pause Argument:
  • Listener gets caught rewinding the Emmys to ogle Sydney Sweeney. Brady: “You paused it and your wife’s in there, you do look a little pervy… Tell her you like cans and to knock it off.”

10. Local Events: 9/11 Stair Climb at Salt River Fields

[75:52–78:43]

• **Holmberg and listeners attend local 9/11 memorial stair climb event, raising significant funds for first responders.
• John declares: next year, he’ll do it in full firefighter gear out of respect for those they honor.
• Quote:

  “I want to put that whole thing on… I want to feel what they feel.” (A, 77:42)

Most Memorable Quotes & Moments

• “If you see this man, he will piss on you.” (14:36, A)
• “If TikTok is showing us the worst of society, then the people who do this need their faces everywhere.” (A, 14:51)
• “Don’t piss on anyone who doesn’t want you to piss on them. We know that.” (A, 32:22)
• “Give cops a break… Now you go to work today and imagine Todd gets nuts, pisses all over Janice–that’s what cops have to deal with every day.” (A, 26:55)
• “Take your phones away from your kids, that’s all. Why can’t you do that? Because you’re afraid they won’t be your friend?” (A, 72:46)
• “The guy’s pissing on people in the theater, and somebody’s like – let me just film that! – now.” (A, 21:48)
• “Sydney Sweeney knows–without these (boobs) I’m nothing. She just shows them. It’s pretty great. They’re gifts from your God.” (A, 45:33)
• “Girls soccer would be a lot better if there were no goalies and it was just incumbent on the players to keep the ball out of the goal.” (A, 66:48)
• “If you know Lemil Hull, don’t forget to tell him you heard him on KUPD!” (A, 35:49)

Notable Segments & Timestamps

• [00:50–09:50] NFL Recap – Steelers, Seahawks, Bengals, "new kicking ball," player fashion.
• [10:30–18:00] Arizona movie theater urination story and public shaming ideas.
• [17:30–28:40] Citizen app discussion, urban crime heat map, policing empathy.
• [29:40–37:00] Extended riff—billboards & PSAs for local “heel of the year.”
• [40:22–46:57] Emmys, TV, “Euphoria”/trans actress reveal.
• [56:54–73:13] Parenting, phones, girls soccer, role of fathers.
• [87:30+] Fun facts, weird current events, Dr. Sex Break, crematorium meth.
• [135:56+] Advice segment: Toys in bed, game-day stress, relationship arguments.
• [75:52–78:43] 9/11 Stair Climb recap and tribute to first responders.

Conclusion

Holmberg’s Morning Sickness delivers another irreverent deep-dive into Arizona news, sports, and modern life through raucous humor, pop culture gripe sessions, and unfiltered opinions. From NFL heartbreaks to TikTok parenting and viral local crime, the crew bounces between outrage, satire, and camaraderie—leaving listeners alternately howling with laughter and shaking their heads at the world.

Listeners will walk away with:

• Plenty of Monday morning laughs
• A sense of Arizona’s wildest recent headlines
• Takeaways on public shaming, policing criticisms, and the hazards (and hilarity) of modern life
• A reminder not to pee on people—unless they ask.

End of Episode Summary