09-17-25 - BR - WED - Brady Muddies The Stats In Circumcision Story - Cheating Scandal In World Rock Skipping Championships - Brady Loves His Defect Videos Too Much

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - 09-17-25: “Brady Muddies The Stats In Circumcision Story – Cheating Scandal In World Rock Skipping Championships – Brady Loves His Defect Videos Too Much”

Date: September 17, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Brett Vesely, Dick Toledo
Main Theme: News breakdowns, comic riffs on social topics, and the show’s trademark fascination with odd and uncomfortable viral content

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Episode Overview

This episode is a classic mix of irreverent local news, social commentary, and the cast’s love for bizarre viral videos. Major conversation threads included a heated and hilarious debate on DEI (Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion), a confused but revealing deep dive into circumcision statistics, controversy at the World Rock Skipping Championships, and the team’s continued obsession with videos of physical defects and viral oddities.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Holiday Acknowledgments & Social Topics (01:22–07:01)

• National Days: Hosts lampoon “National Pet Bird Day” and “National DEI Day” with playful mockery.
• DEI Discussion: John launches into a surprisingly candid and conflicted debate about DEI hiring practices, questioning whether these policies may cause more harm than help by fostering skepticism about the qualifications of hires—and even inadvertently encouraging bigotry.
  • John (03:11): “I think it’s backfired on everybody… if you see somebody in a prominent position… you wonder, is that a real hire? Is that mentally handicapped person the best CEO we could find?”
  • Brett: Points out that DEI was meant to break down barriers for qualified individuals who weren’t given a fair shot, but acknowledges that “sometimes it happens, but you cloud it up.” (04:35)
• Personal Anxieties: The hosts reveal personal anxieties and paranoia that would come with being hired for anything other than merit, poking fun at themselves and the wider system.
• Chris Rock Reference: John references a Chris Rock bit to highlight how forced inclusion can feel hollow: “It’s what Chris Rock used to say about minimum wage… if they could pay you less, they would.” (06:01)
• Tone: Blunt, skeptical, and self-deprecating, often veering into intentionally provocative territory.

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2. Fun Facts & Odd News (07:01–09:06)

• Godzilla Trivia: Only building never destroyed is the Imperial Palace out of respect—leading to riffs on Hollywood and Japanese sensibilities.
• WWF Panda Logo: Chosen for being easy to print in black & white (08:05).
• Name-Letter Donation Fact: People more likely to donate to hurricane relief if the hurricane shares their name's first letter (08:17).
• Tiny Alaska Town: Diomede, Alaska, just 2.5 miles from Russia. The cast jokes this could be a new “border crossing route.” (08:37–09:06)

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3. Circumcision Statistics Debate (09:06–13:04)

• Declining Rates: Brady muddles his way through circumcision stats—rates fell from 54% in 2012 to 49% in 2022, with wealthier/privately insured families seeing the biggest recent drops and white families seeing the sharpest decline.
• Brett tries to clarify: “More people are saying skipping the circumcision. That rate’s gone up.” (09:47)
• Comedic confusion: Brady gets increasingly lost in the numbers: “Read that again. …Higher rates but more declines?” (09:58)
• John: “We need an Asian, there’s a lot of math.” (10:54)
• Medical Background: World Health Organization and CDC had recommended circumcision to prevent disease, but trends are reversing.
• Ralphie May Reference: John notes Ralphie May refused circumcision for his son, believing it reduces sexual sensation: “That’s some good fathering right there… I want my boy to have good spurts.” (12:29–12:33)
• Comedic Self-Reflection: The segment is meta-commentary on their inability to clearly deliver straightforward news, becoming a running joke.

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4. World Rock Skipping Cheating Scandal (13:22–15:41)

• Cheating Accusations: Some teams in Scotland disqualified for filing down stones to make them perfectly circular.
• Brett: “Stones must come from naturally occurring island slate, and fit through the ‘Ring of Truth.’” (13:44)
• Glacial Pace: Hosts roast Brady’s storytelling: “Land the plane. Just crash the plane, for God’s sake.” (14:25)
• Winner: American skips stone 580 feet.
• Self-Deprecation: “That story made more sense than just circumcisions down a little bit” (14:34).

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5. Fast Food & Miscellaneous Stories (15:41–16:09)

• Wendy’s lettuce switch: Swapping from whole romaine to shredded iceberg on burgers. “I love that you still do these, even though you can’t have it” (15:58).
• Mockery: Team teases that Brady now brings “salad stories” to the show.

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6. Viral Videos Segment: Arrests, Accidents, & Defects (16:09–31:01)

Arrest Video (16:09–19:35)

• Story: Woman in Tampa arrested for DUI after driving wrong way, tries to blame her (nonexistent) husband.
  • Cop video banter: “We could see you coming.” (16:39)
  • Holmberg riff: “The reason you’re going the wrong way … is because you’re a woman. Your husband is nowhere near this.” (16:40)
• Brady on being a cop: Hilariously asserts he’d be a terrible, corrupt cop: “Show me your cans and you’re out of this DUI.” (19:32)

“Brady’s Defect Videos” & Dark Humor (19:43–30:52)

• Brady’s Algorithm: The team mocks Brady’s Instagram obsession with birth defects and medical oddities.
  • Holmberg: “Brady loves deformed people. He’s like Mother Teresa without any of the help.” (20:40)
  • Show-and-tell: Describes videos featuring people with severe physical abnormalities, including a hair-flying circus accident, “skeleton boy” (severe malformation), and more.
  • Brutal banter: “Look at this catastrophe of birth defect.” (22:15) “Brady loves the—if you’ve got a deformed relative, send photos to [e-mail]” (31:14)
  • Undertone: The team walks the line between tasteless dark humor and genuine fascination with the absurd.
• Other viral content:
  • Bungee accident: Unsuccessful military-style training ends with a man face-planting. (26:11)
  • Crackhead video: Off-air, a video of a homeless man performing sexual acts on another in public, played for shock and anti-drug education: “That video should be played in high schools everywhere.” (28:13)
  • Woman smashing beer cans with her breast: Team laughs and marvels at the physics. (28:32)
  • Obese woman smothering a man: “Where do you find a thong that fits that? I guess they’re all thongs.” (29:02)
  • Man self-penetrating: “He has slinkied his own wiener up the downstairs.” (30:05)
  • Summary: The videos are appalling, hilarious, and often designed to provoke maximum discomfort, with dark humor bordering on offensiveness.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I think it’s backfired on everybody… makes you wonder when you see somebody in a prominent position… was this a real hire?” – John (03:11)
• “It’s what Chris Rock used to say about minimum wage. If they could pay you less, they would.” – John (06:01)
• “We need an Asian. There’s a lot of math.” – John (10:54)
• “Less than half… people are getting cut. You’re cut. I’m cut. Everybody…” – Brady (11:31)
• “Show me your cans and you’re out of this DUI.” – John (19:32)
• “Brady loves deformed people. He’s like Mother Teresa without any of the help.” – John (20:40)
• “Look at this catastrophe of birth defect.” – Brady (22:15)
• “That video should be played in high schools everywhere. Do not do crack.” – Guest 1 (28:13)
• “He has slinkied his own wiener up the downstairs.” – Brady (30:05)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• DEI Rant & Social Commentary: 01:22–07:01
• Fun Facts Segment: 07:01–09:06
• Circumcision News & Confusion: 09:06–13:04
• World Rock Skipping Cheating Scandal: 13:22–15:41
• Wendy’s Lettuce Switch: 15:41–16:09
• DUI & Cop Video Banter: 16:09–19:35
• Brady’s Defect Videos & Viral Oddities: 19:43–31:01
• Outrageous Viral Videos: 26:11–30:52

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Tone and Takeaway

Holmberg’s Morning Sickness displays its trademark blend of shock humor, aggressive riffing, and side conversations. The crew dives enthusiastically into uncomfortable territory—be it DEI policy, medical statistics, or viral trainwreck videos—balancing genuine commentary and satire. If you like your morning news with a heavy dose of irreverent banter, the team delivers in spades, especially in their “Brady videos” segment.

For listeners new and old: You’ll find candid talk, crude comedy, and no sacred cows—a formula that cements HMS as Arizona radio’s brashest, most outrageous show.

Transcript

[Host]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[Brady]

You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it.

[Brett]

What the hell is wrong with you?

[Brady]

It is time again for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report. It's brought to you by [e-mail] All Pro Shade is where you go when you want some shade in that yardy or front yard, backyard side. They got those things that'll block out those nosy neighbors. You can put it down as a shield if you want. It keeps the sun away. A lot of people have that stuff where they don't really have a spot for a awning shade, but they've got a space. That side of their house gets blistered by the sun. Drop it down. They got the dropdowns. They got it all. They will make shade in your yard, and that will make your yard or your patio even better. And it adds property value to these things at the top of the line. These guys have been at it for over 20 years for a reason. It's because of the best at it. And they'll come by and they'll come by with a little estimate for you, and that's free. And they'll give you a little idea and that's free. And then you get to work making that shade beautiful and get ready for this outdoor activity. Outdoor weather is real close, where we can sit outside and have the sun beating on you and that weather will be perfect. AllProchade.com grab hold of it. Make your space better. Brady reported.

[Brett]

Good Wednesday morning to you, Phoenix.

[Brady]

Hello, world. Hi.

[Brett]

Happy National Pet Bird Day.

[Brady]

Yeah, bird people mean it, man.

[Brett]

And National DEI Day.

[Brady]

Diversity, equity and inclusion. Oh, boy. That's going to result. Shouldn't have said that one half of. Well, because half the audience is for it and half of them are. And this on the heels of you.

[Brett]

Can celebrate it either way.

[Brady]

Brett. Just finding the story that Denmark just basically told everybody, hey, if you're from the Middle east, knock it off with the outfits. Not in our country. You got two choices. You take the hat and the mask off because Covid's over, or you leave and everybody's like, this is wrong. It's like, we don't care. We're Denmark. And that's Denmark is legit with their we'll keep it pure thing. They're still mad that they opened their borders to The Middle Eastern refugees, Afghanistan, Pakistan, stuff like that about 20 something years ago. I don't know if it's still a law there, but it used to be a law there that you had to marry somebody who was 100% bloodline. Denmark, like Danish they were. They did not mess around. And then they let everybody in and half of them got furious. So happy DEI day. But not in Denmark it isn't.

[Brett]

Couple of basic fun facts.

[Brady]

Would you be okay with that? Let's, let's have that moment.

[Brett]

Okay?

[Brady]

If, if you got hired not because you're good at something, but because of like a social advantage got you the job. I mean, of course you're gonna be happy, but would you be like, if I got hired because, well, we needed a bald guy and we had like 20 other people that are alive. And I don't really, it doesn't mean, I don't know, I don't know that I could. I'm self aware enough to know that I shouldn't have it. So I think I'd be paranoid all the time. That's probably the way people who are DEI hires live, you know, and then it does make it look. I think it's backfired on everybody. I do think it makes you wonder when you see somebody in a prominent position who, you know, it's the opposite. It makes you a little more bigoted. Just in full honesty, if we, like, you see something, you're like, God, I hope this was, I hope that person's qualified if they did a bunch of DEI hires. And I think that's the argument against it, is it's going to make people think, ah, is that a real hire? Is that mentally handicapped person the best CEO we could find? Or is that something in the, in.

[Brett]

The, the rooting behind it originally was like, this person is qualified but they're not getting hired, right?

[Brady]

Because to protect against racism. But in a way it kind of backfires and makes people think they only got the job because of their race, which is racism, or because of their sex or their gender or gay or whatever. Like if I see a dude in a dress and he's running the show, am I thinking, well, he's probably the most qualified, or am I thinking, oh, he got hired because they needed one of those. And that's the opposite of what it's supposed to do, right? It's supposed to open doors for people who didn't have chances. But instead what it makes you do is just question whether or not they had to fill a quota. And the person you're dealing with isn't exactly the best in the business.

[Brett]

If you.

[Brady]

And that's not fair to that person. They might be the best.

[Brett]

And sometimes it happens, but you cloud it up.

[Brady]

Yeah, you clouded it all up.

[Brett]

You could have a example of there's four people that are more experienced than this person. But the person that got hired, his father was friends with the owner of the company.

[Brady]

That's not dei. That's not autism. But I'm. That's illegal.

[Brett]

That stinks for. You know, but that happens.

[Brady]

But there's protections against that. If you are hiring family over everything else and people start to notice that is there, you can hire who you want. Yeah. But you can make us think if, like, there's plenty of opportunity and some jackass shows up and gets the manager's job. You know, we had it here with this company. And it. You know, some people are kind of like, you have an option to quit or throw a fit. Most people would just quit. But when you watch just the owner's son get a high, prominent managerial position and he's never worked in the business and you've busted your ass the whole time, you could. You could probably talk to a lawyer.

[Brett]

About that in college. Sometimes legacy has its benefits, you know, like this.

[Brady]

But again, if you lean too heavily into it and they look and they're like, they're all legacy and not one of them is Mexican, they're gonna go, you got to get one of those in there. And I don't. If I was that per. I wouldn't want to be that guy. Like, you're only got me because of that. I don't know why people want to be part of something that they have to force color into. Because it's basically. It's like what Chris Rock used to say about. It's what Chris Rock you say about minimum wage. If they could pay you less, they would.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

But they're legally required to pay you this rock bottom amount. But if they could pay you less, they would. It's the same thing. It's like, why do I want to be part of something that only has me there? Because they're forced to. You know, it's. It's a back. It's like most things, its intentions were good, and then it kind of turned into this mess and it is off. In all honesty. And I think Brett will back me up on this. Especially when I see a bald dude with bright red lipstick on a mustache and a red sequined gown. I don't think he's the best nuclear engineer that we've got, and it turned out he wasn't.

[Host]

Yeah. When you look like Bruce Valance.

[Brady]

Yeah. And when you announce it, I have to hire a woman. You're immediately eliminating potential candidates. That might be better. But you've said I have to do this. That makes it so. I'd rather compete against the best than then just get handed something. But I'm white, so it's different. My brain works different.

[Brett]

The only major building in Tokyo that Godzilla has never destroyed in a movie is the Imperial palace. Out of respect for the emperor.

[Brady]

He's really in there during the movie, huh?

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Holy cow. We've blown up the White House over and over. In movies we've got. We explode our stuff constantly.

[Guest 1]

Godzilla comes out of the water and goes, oh, yeah.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah. I can't do that. Shibei's in there. Even in this fictional Godzilla movie, I don't think people can. So there's. They're thinking that maybe the Japanese audience can't suspend disbelief for a few seconds that the lizard actually may have killed their leader.

[Brett]

And why? You know. Or the people making the movie, you know, at the time. If we do that, are we making a statement that we're.

[Brady]

If you're a giant lizard, you could stop out that building, but.

[Brett]

Yeah, you don't touch that building.

[Brady]

But you could kill all the other people in Tokyo. That's. They're not worried about that statement.

[Brett]

Yeah. Nope.

[Brady]

Just don't go after the big.

[Brett]

How powerful?

[Brady]

Well, not really. It's stupid.

[Brett]

One of the reasons the world wildlife fund went with a panda bear for their logo. Logo is because there's black and white sage money on print.

[Brady]

Yeah. Smart.

[Brett]

People are more likely to donate to hurricane relief efforts if their name starts with the same letter as the name of the hurricane.

[Brady]

Really?

[Brett]

Last one. There's a city in Alaska called diameti that's only 2 1/2 miles away from Russia.

[Brady]

Yeah, you could throw. Yeah, it's pretty awesome. You could just kind of like Sarah.

[Guest 1]

Palin said, you could see it from her front porch.

[Brady]

That's what Putin was talking about when he and Trump were there. We're neighbors. We're closer than you think. Don't tell the Mexicans about that. That's a much easier walk. Get into America if they get up to Russia first. All we have to do is get to Russia. It's two miles from Alaska. We're in where they all come from.

[Brett]

Newborn circumcision rates in the U. S. Fell from 54% in 2012 to 49% in 2022. White families saw the sharpest drop while black and Hispanic rates stayed steady. Wealthier and privately insured families had higher rates. But. But also bigger declines.

[Brady]

For what?

[Brett]

Circumcision among their babies.

[Host]

Higher rates but bigger declines.

[Brady]

And what does that mean?

[Brett]

United States has steadily declined over the. I'm steadily declined over the past decade. So less circumcision.

[Brady]

What are higher rates but more declines?

[Brett]

More people are saying skipping the circumcision. That rate's gone up.

[Brady]

Higher rates of skipping. Higher.

[Brett]

Yeah. They're saying less circumcision is happening.

[Brady]

More declines. Wouldn't that be this, like. I'm confused. Read that again.

[Brett]

Newborn circumcision rates in the US Fell.

[Brady]

We get that. You did. One of the races had higher rates and bigger declines.

[Brett]

The sharpest drop of people not getting service. Circumcised.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Black and Hispanic.

[Brady]

Okay. Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Brett]

But they're describing the wealthier and privately insured families.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Will circumcise have a higher rate of getting their kids circumcised? But that's now starting to drop. The history of it is.

[Brady]

We need an Asian. There's a lot of math.

[Brett]

What they're saying is overall, there's.

[Brady]

My God. I get that. But when you say that the heavily privately insured people have higher rates and more declines. I'm struggling with that.

[Brett]

Let me see if these rates work out. The analysis from researchers at Johns Hopkins University. More than 1.5 million annual hospital record shows the share of newborn boys. Newborn boys circumcised during the first month of Life fell from 54% to 49%.

[Brady]

Less than half. People are getting cut. Yep. You're cut. I'm cut. Everybody. All of us.

[Brett]

This decline came after the World health organization in 2007 and the center for Disease Control and Prevention issued recommendations supporting access to newborn circumcision. So they're basically saying the reason why you want to do it is spreading disease.

[Brady]

Right. Because it's filthy sometimes.

[Guest 1]

It's always been that way.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Guest 1]

That's the whole.

[Brady]

All right. Remember that DEI day? It was Brady, everybody. That's a Brady. Reading the news. He's gonna be live at the hockey arena doing this. That was very confusing.

[Brett]

I think the biggest thing is we fell below half.

[Brady]

Yeah. Half of. Just keep it there.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Nobody's cutting the wangs anymore. And Ralphie May used to be a big proponent of not cutting when he had his son August.

[Guest 2]

He's like, not cutting him.

[Brady]

Like, why?

[Guest 2]

Cause it takes away the sensation of the male orgasm.

[Brady]

That's some good fathering right there. That's excellent work.

[Guest 2]

I want my boy to have good spurts. Put that in when he squirts. I want it to be sensational. I want it to be Ralphie May. Sensational. It's not because he's cut. You get less sensitive.

[Brady]

And then I read some stuff, and Ralphie was right. When you've got the sheath over the top, the top doesn't rub up against your pants all the time and start numbing itself. It doesn't callous. Which means that it's a lot more sensitive. And the orgasms are supposedly better. But it's.

[Host]

I'm good the way I am, but it's.

[Brady]

I'd watch porn and whenever the dude's uncut.

[Guest 1]

Way too far gone.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Host]

But I'm just saying I don't need.

[Brady]

To kind of make it more. Yeah, I would be. I'd be constantly going. Every time that thing made an appearance, when the air hit it, I'd be like, I need a towel. It's already pretty active.

[Brett]

The World Stone Skimming Championships were recently rocked by a cheating scandal after some competitors were found to be using suspiciously circular stones. If you know anything about stone skipping.

[Brady]

Sir, you don't have to educate us on that one, Brady. Just skip ahead.

[Brett]

You were good. According to the competition's rules, stones must come from naturally occurring island slate, and they fit through a device called the Ring of Truth to ensure that they're the right size.

[Brady]

You think sometimes he does these stories and then we fall asleep and don't know it, and he rifles Thor wallets?

[Guest 1]

I do wonder.

[Brady]

Yeah, I think so.

[Guest 1]

Because he is supremely confident in a lot of them that he's done it the right way.

[Guest 3]

Listen to my story.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

The events held in Scotland, But a couple of teams were disqualified because you could tell they filed down some stones.

[Brady]

Okay, this is going on too long, my friend.

[Host]

Land the plane.

[Brady]

Land the plug. Just crash the plane, for God's sake. The winner was an American.

[Brett]

This year, he skipped the stone 580ft.

[Brady]

You know, it's crazy. That story made more sense than just circumcisions down a little bit.

[Brett]

There's a big change happening at Wendy's.

[Guest 1]

Now we get to the real meat of the day.

[Brett]

They're in the process of quietly switching from whole leafed romaine lettuce, the square meat of the day, to shredded iceberg lettuce for its burgers and chicken sandwiches.

[Guest 2]

I love that you still do these, even though you can't have it.

[Brett]

The switch began at a select locations this summer and slowly rolling across the country. He claimed the change was to improve lettuce consistency. But don't worry. The romaine and spring mix will still be in the salads.

[Guest 2]

He's doing salad stories. What happened to you? I don't even know this man anymore.

[Host]

Go back to skipping stones.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, tell me more about filing.

[Brett]

Second place, Brett. 433ft, Bertie.

[Guest 2]

If I didn't die in that room in Las Vegas a few years ago, I'd have hung myself after listening to your story.

[Brady]

Hot garbage.

[Brett]

And if you compete, there's no money. It's just a trophy.

[Brady]

There's no life at all in professional stone skipping. Of course there's no money. Who's generating cash with stone skipping? You guys want to go to the big event? I've got two. Two front row seats to stone skip. I can do it. Yeah, but not like 38 times.

[Host]

Stone skipping or Megyn Kelly.

[Brady]

Oh, man, that's tough. Where's the stone skipping? No, I'll go to Megan Kelly. Mud puddles. Dump.

[Brett]

Got a 24 year old woman in Tampa who got arrested after she drove the wrong way on the interstate. Sideswiped a cop car. And when they pulled her over, they interviewed her and she said she claimed her husband was driving. She's the only one in the car. Happened around 2:30am Is he doing it remotely?

[Brady]

And what the cops would have said video. The cops would have said, your husband's not driving because. Because we had to pull you over. You were erratic. We knew for sure it was a woman behind the wheel.

[Guest 1]

We could see you coming.

[Brady]

The reason you're going the wrong way on the freeway is because you're a woman. Your husband is nowhere near this.

[Brett]

And in the video, the cop did a pretty good pit maneuver. Get her to stop.

[Brady]

I love pit maneuvers. OP Live has pit maneuvers every once in a while. The grappler is my new favorite thing. Had a grappler attack over there on Bethany home the other night. Awesome. That technology is so cool. The car pukes out a Batman toy and then stops the car in front of it.

[Guest 1]

There's two, right? The claw. And I saw one that wraps.

[Brady]

That's the wraparound. The wraparound one is so neat.

[Guest 1]

That one's really cool.

[Brady]

Love that.

[Brett]

That one you cast out, right? And just if it catches the wheel.

[Brady]

It shoots out and then it just gets tied up in the axle. It's so awesome.

[Guest 1]

And then I've seen it where they try and back up and speed away.

[Brady]

I Can't do it. Well, I can't do anything about it. There, your car's done once you grapple. This is the. Oh, he sideswiped her. He got her up on the. That's a. That's already.

[Brett]

She already swiped the car right into it. Nice spunner right there.

[Brady]

Spun her on the freeway, which is even better. Go out. Go out the other side. Go out the other side. This is the.

[Woman in story]

On this.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Do you see all these lights coming towards us?

[Brady]

Listen, look straight ahead.

[Woman in story]

No, I do, babe. I do.

[Host]

So you're going. You're going the wrong way on the interstate.

[Woman in story]

No, no, no.

[Brady]

Yes, you were. That's. That's why I wrecked you.

[Brett]

You. Yes, you were going the wrong way.

[Woman in story]

My husband's walking me or driving me home.

[Brady]

What do you mean? You were driving home? No, she driving us. You were.

[Brett]

You were just driving.

[Brady]

Does have great can.

[Woman in story]

I was driving. I was like, in the. It was. I was in the passenger seat, but I was a.

[Brady]

That's why I'd be a terrible cop. Yeah, I'm like, show me those. We'll be good. And it would be on camera. She's got glory. Oh, I'd take her home immediately. Those stupid cameras on their chest. How many times did that happen in the past? I wonder where girls like that and no cameras.

[Host]

Yeah, she is.

[Brady]

She's in a bikini. Looks good, too.

[Woman in story]

I had one full drink.

[Brett]

She's in the Tampa two piece on the bottom.

[Brady]

Okay.

[Brett]

Well, if you don't have any questions.

[Brady]

And you understand, she's got board shirts. I even put her through the test. Man. She's good looking, but I mean, entertainment. I would have been arrested for being a cop. I couldn't do that.

[Brett]

Her recall of, you know. How many drinks did you have?

[Brady]

Oh, that's always the thing. I would definitely. I would definitely tase just about everyone. And then just for fun, sometimes I'd taste like a guy walking on the road if I had that.

[Guest 1]

And then you have to kind of keep that thing in tip top shape. I gotta use it.

[Brady]

This is why I couldn't be a cop. Wrench. I'd be like, right now, just for fun, when Brady's looking at his phone, he's like. And then I'd, like, draw mustaches on him. I would. It would be bad.

[Guest 1]

I think we're all in favor of that.

[Brady]

I should have never been even in the remote possibility of those classes I took at MCC for criminal investigation, because it would have resulted in. Show me your cans and you're out of this dui.

[Brett]

Got a couple of Brady videos. Oh, God, the gnome is back. I don't. I don't know if this is a.

[Brady]

Different gnome, but it's a man who's got a massive. You're the birth defect.

[Guest 1]

You're the gnome expert.

[Brady]

Yeah, but I just remember.

[Brett]

But I remember the one guy sounding the same way, but I. I don't remember his.

[Guest 1]

I don't remember the guy with vitiligo toothpicks.

[Brady]

Vitiligo. His hands are. He's got a gray beard and gray hair and his head is the Easter island size. What is this?

[Guest 1]

Hand off the stick.

[Brett]

I think he's singing a song.

[Brady]

He's praying for death is what he's doing.

[Host]

So am I.

[Brady]

So am I. But look at this thing. This is.

[Guest 1]

But wait, Brett, there's more.

[Brady]

Oh, wow. Put my seatbelt on. Holmberg's morning sickness. Come on. Brady loves deformed people. He's like Mother Teresa.

[Brett]

I don't know what you're talking about.

[Brady]

Brady's like Mother Teresa without any of the help.

[Guest 3]

I just want to look at him.

[Brady]

He is like Mother Teresa. She started a zoo for sick people too. And Brady would be all over that.

[Brett]

This is what you want to see at the circus, John.

[Brady]

All right.

[Brett]

I know you.

[Brady]

Oh, just the accidents. This is a lady, her hair's tied up to a string and they're bringing her up. They pulled her off the stage. She's about 25ft above the stage now. 30, 35. She's doing some ribbon dance in the sky. Her hair tied to a. Like a metal string. Oh, she's doing her dance. She throws her ribbon down. Now she's doing some gymnastics. No, her hair broke off the string.

[Brett]

She's no red panda.

[Brady]

She fell 30ft at least. Oh, my goodness.

[Guest 1]

Oh, yeah, the red panda continued the show, didn't she?

[Brett]

Yeah, with a broken ankle.

[Brady]

Well, this chick. Yeah, Red panda didn't get thrown to the earth from. She didn't go skydiving without any sort of. Oh, man. She didn't expect it either. She tried to land it one footed. Boy, that's.

[Guest 3]

Come on, Brady.

[Brett]

I don't know what. I'm not sure what this is.

[Brady]

How do you believe in a God and you still do this? Like this is something.

[Brett]

Giggle every time.

[Guest 3]

Look at him. God's mistakes. Bless you, skeleton boy.

[Brady]

This is a pile of bones with skin on them and a normal head. And this. He's saying something.

[Brett]

Kids stay in school.

[Brady]

That's right.

[Brett]

Don't do drugs.

[Brady]

Look at this catastrophe of birth defect.

[Guest 1]

Hey, somebody gave him three friendship bracelets.

[Brady]

Yeah, right? I would never steal Brady's phone just because of the algorithm. Right?

[Guest 1]

We don't want that breast milk.

[Brady]

And nothing in my phone is worse than Brady's algorithm on Instagram. That is the. That is the most disease I've ever seen on one person in my life. And his head is completely fine, but his. His. His chest is resting on his thighs, which are resting on his shins.

[Guest 1]

It's not disease. It's just defects, right?

[Brady]

It's all defects. It's. Yeah. No one else has this, right? Look at Giggles McGee over here. This guy can't get enough of this error of a human.

[Guest 1]

Look at that face. That face doesn't want to.

[Brady]

No, he doesn't want to be alive for another minute. Young Caesar Milano. He does. It's like the dog whisper. If somebody put his body in a trash compactor and just smushed him into a small box.

[Guest 2]

I fit in a marshal box, but my head has to stick out of the top.

[Guest 1]

And it all started with Kenny Loggins.

[Brady]

Jesus. Yeah. Kenny Loggin's. Jesus. And Brady looks at that every day so that the Internet's like. He loves this stuff.

[Guest 1]

Look at him flopping around.

[Brady]

Kenny Loggins, Jesus. And that guy.

[Brett]

They live in the same house, all piled up.

[Brady]

Just bones piled up on top of each other with a head grown out of the top. Just take furniture, take a three wood.

[Brett]

Give me that kid.

[Brady]

And just line it up.

[Host]

You want that kidney?

[Brady]

I wouldn't. Would you take that kidney? What?

[Brett]

I want to see if it's.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

If it's working.

[Brady]

You know what they would have to do? Dig around inside him for 45 minutes to find it, because it's probably in his area.

[Brett]

I don't think it would take that.

[Brady]

It's not where it's supposed to be.

[Host]

Yeah, it's probably in his foot or something.

[Brady]

Yeah, it's like hanging around his kneecap.

[Guest 3]

What's wrong with you?

[Brady]

Everything.

[Guest 1]

Such poetic justice if it makes your legs a twig. If you get that.

[Brady]

We need to. Brady is right on this one. We need to harvest that guy's organs.

[Guest 1]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady]

And just end this thing.

[Guest 1]

If there's any.

[Brett]

Man.

[Brady]

Yuck. Look at those eyes. Longing for death.

[Guest 1]

Isn't that the teemu of organs?

[Brady]

Well, it is gonna. Yeah, you're at the dollar store there for sure.

[Guest 2]

Somebody please hit me on the head with a three.

[Brady]

What? Please.

[Guest 3]

Can't do that. That's killing a man.

[Guest 2]

I am not a man. I am not a man.

[Guest 1]

Just send Me down.

[Guest 2]

I'm ahead on a body of bones.

[Brady]

I've seen grocery bags better packed than that guy. All right, Bert, what do you got? That was horrible. You're a horrible friend. Look at you. You can't get enough. It's like a human fart. Like if a fart could come. I'm laughing at your reaction. Your reaction, your reaction.

[Guest 1]

You love it.

[Brady]

You looked at that last night, smiling. You. You looked at that last night.

[Guest 3]

Include that in tomorrow's hilarity. God's bago bones. Bless him for he makes no mistakes.

[Brady]

I see one.

[Host]

Your algorithm is just.

[Brady]

It's just brutal. You're the devil.

[Brett]

It's fine.

[Host]

Breastfeeding and deformities.

[Brady]

No wonder.

[Brett]

I don't know why that's gone. That's long.

[Host]

You're just not showing them to us anymore.

[Brett]

You also started later.

[Brady]

God hasn't taken. God hasn't taken any of our organs through disease. You've been punished for that stuff. That's it. That's a Jesus punishment. I hope that. I hope that's it for you. Like your Jesus goes, we have to make Brady a bag of bones and a head just because he thinks it's so funny.

[Host]

Our algorithm basis. Oh, great. I'm going to be on a carnival cruise and driving a hellcat next week.

[Brady]

Awesome. Brady, we've got to steal more organs if you keep laughing.

[Guest 3]

Sorry, Jesus, but you make some pretty funny balls of people.

[Brett]

I'll have to keep posting.

[Brady]

Man, that's terrible.

[Host]

I think we've seen this one before, but this is what happens. This is the before of Brady's videos.

[Brady]

Oh, this is a guy. Yeah, he's leaping off the edge of a. It's a military training in some country that'll never win a war. And he just jumps off the edge and then. Oh, he's bungee jumping. But the string is about 15ft too long. And he just jumps face first into the earth. Not one paved road. And wherever that is. So don't worry about it. No one's going to try to fight you.

[Brett]

And remember, he's supposed to land on that green mat.

[Brady]

I think he was just supposed to kind of bounce back a little.

[Guest 1]

I think he was supposed to be held. And like, well, yeah, there he goes.

[Brett]

But that. To have that mat down there.

[Brady]

Is there a target? No, I think it's the Tom Cruz from a Mission Impossible thing. I think he's supposed to get to the bottom.

[Guest 1]

Yeah, well, they place that mat, Matt.

[Brady]

Isn'T even close to where it's supposed to be. You're supposed to just belly flop onto the ground. That was.

[Guest 1]

Well, then you.

[Brett]

I think they. I think they're supposed to be stopping them just before Mission Impossible happens.

[Brady]

Right? Tom Cruise in the first Mission Impossible did that.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And just hover. What's the point?

[Brett]

They're bragging. They have the skills to be able to do that.

[Brady]

Pave a road. How about that? Waste your money on road paving rather than Iraqis leaping out of four story buildings. Never going to need that. No one's ever going to invade your dirt country.

[Host]

All right, there's an AI video. I'll show you guys off here.

[Brady]

All right. Oh, boy. All right, here we go. With a guy.

[Host]

This ain't it. So here. Some crackheads.

[Brady]

Oh, crackheads doing crack. Guy sitting outside of a store smoking the crack. Just hit it pretty hard. Now he's up on all fours while the guy behind him smokes. His ass is out. Oh, no, no, no. One is aiming his ass at the other one.

[Host]

Bill Mickelson's ready.

[Brady]

Yeah. And it's John Daly.

[Host]

Sorry, got my golfer screwed up.

[Brady]

John, what is happening? Oh, he's gonna blow it in his ass. One of the crackheads has the other one's pants down. He is going into a homeless man's ass and he is performing anal Angus on another homeless while they smoke crack outside of a convenience store. Oh, my God. Oh, man. That is crack on crack.

[Guest 1]

That video should be played in high schools everywhere.

[Brady]

Do not do crack.

[Guest 1]

This is what happens. This is your brain on drugs.

[Brady]

Oh, my God.

[Host]

We've seen something like this before, too.

[Brady]

He's so high. He just chowed down on homeless ass. Okay, here's a bat.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah, the can smash.

[Brady]

She's smashing beer cans with her boob.

[Guest 1]

That can't be good.

[Brady]

Is her boob that heavy or is she just got that kind of torque? She's mashing. Battling the Foster's can mashing aluminum cans.

[Brett]

With her gigantic breasts at the teacher's madhouse.

[Brady]

Yeah, it's for. It's what they do when the school's out. Your wife's doing that? Yes.

[Brett]

You get extra credit.

[Brady]

Yeah, they put. They turn the neon sign the second the last kid gets a ride home and they just start.

[Guest 1]

Oh, God.

[Brady]

Banging into stuff with their breasts. All right. No, it's a. It looks like Kimbo Slice is sitting underneath the largest woman's ass ever. This is like five lizards and he's trying to tap out. He's grabbing her fat thighs and she can't get off of. Now she's Grinding on his face. He can't do anymore. You got to get off of him. You can't breathe. I can't. That woman is 800 pounds. Where do you find a thong that fits that? I guess they're all thongs. Whatever she puts on is one. All right, we'll just send. With this final video is a penis, well shaved. And testicles. And there's his anus. And. Oh, he's taking his penis and he's putting it in. He's. He's large enough to put it in his own bottom, and he is stuffing his. It's in himself. He has slinkied his own wiener up the downstairs, and now he's. Is he okay? Yeah. It's trying to come out because it doesn't want to be in there. He does.

[Host]

No, he doesn't.

[Brady]

Oh, thank God. Yeah. The penis is like, no, stop. And his hands keep saying no. You live here now. And now he's. Now he's pushing.

[Advertisement Voice]

It seems kind of gay.

[Brady]

Yeah, it is a little gay. Bart.

[Host]

That's it.

[Brady]

Art's not wrong. Well, there's that.

[Guest 1]

Yeah, well said.

[Brady]

I'd pay to see that at the hockey arena before a news person. All of Brett's videos at the hockey arena. We could fill it.

[Guest 1]

Oh, we had two hours of your video.

[Host]

I could fill that.

[Brady]

Brady could open up with the horrors of birth defects.

[Guest 1]

You get the first 20.

[Brett]

Jim Rose portion, boss.

[Brady]

KUPD breast milk and defects. Do you ever put those on your page?

[Brett]

No.

[Brady]

Why not?

[Brett]

Yeah, he's probably here.

[Brady]

Oh, you seem so happy, though, when they're on, maybe you could bring joy to other people.

[Brett]

I'm fascinated.

[Brady]

You're not fascinated. You're. Yeah, you're in hysterics. You've done no research on this. You're not fascinated? Don't lie to yourself. Fascination leads to questions.

[Brett]

Research on that guy. Oh, yeah, he's got problems.

[Brady]

Yeah, 99 of them. And I guarantee you a bitching. However many human bones are in a body, that's how many problems he has because they're all in the wrong place. Brady loves the. If you've got a deformed relative, send photos to [e-mail] this guy anyway. And there you go, everybody. That Sir Brady Report. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.

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