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Brett
You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.
John Holmberg
It's John Holmberg here from the Morning Sickness. Thrilled to tell you about my friends at Turf Monsters Backyard Living space. You either have it or you don't. It doesn't matter if you've got a huge yard or a little one. Making outdoor living space a priority is great for you, your home, your pets. The turf they put in looks amazing. 365 days a year they added in a putting green. I have a beautiful backyard space. My dogs love that I love and the script has been flipped. So if you see your yard as a job, stop it. Go to turfmonstersaz.com, say homework sent you and get 10 off your vision. Turfmonstersaz.com you thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? Probably while that song was being played live, I was watching Joe Perry mess up another Aerosmith song with this project, Nine Inch Nails. Surprised yesterday how many people at the baseball game had Nine Inch Nails concert shirts on. There were an awful lot of Nine Inch Nails kids. Lots of them. It's pretty great. So nice job. I would like to have seen Head like a whole life Pretty Hate Machine is just phenomenal, said John. Did you guys take your shirts off and start to cry together when La Guns played in the car that first night? No, that was Mark Stebbings and he was crying at a song by Poison. I didn't cry for La Guns. I cried that we drove down there at midnight to buy that terrible record.
Brady
There's no breakups.
John Holmberg
Somebody said I've got. He said, I totally understand your stance with Kyler. What he did was stupid and in poor taste and how no one told him it was a bad idea is beyond me, but he claims he did it unknowingly. He doesn't have a history of doing stuff like this, so I'm going to give him this one pass. He apologized. I've seen posts with him and his dogs in the past and he does seem to love and dote on his dogs again. If he'd done anything like this in the past, I'd have some more questions. But let's forgive him because we're two and oh, you just want this team to lose games. So then Kyle came up. It is a good point. No, no, I give you that, but I would like him to explain it better than I didn't know he's in leather knee high boots. He's doing a photo shoot. This was all choreographed. Explain yourself. I'll give it to you. The Cardinals need to step up and say, we are not fans of this. And then maybe cut a check to the Humane Society and it goes away. This one says it was Kyle also. He says, I like animals more than people. And you know that I'm willing to give the benefit of the doubt to Kyler. And a fair punishment would be that he has to publicly burn that Michael Vick jersey and piss it out. I would. I would gladly say fair. That's. That's fine by me. Burn your Vick jersey and piss it out. And then it's all is forgiven. Kyler, renounce your love of Michael, Vicky. That's all. You can still think he's talented. You just can't be a supporter. Good one, Kyle. I like that. Excellent work. It's time now for Brady to give you the rest of the news that's going on in the world. We call this the Brady Report. It's brought to you by our friends@allprochade.com a lot of you guys have patio TVs. That's a big thing. And you can't watch them in the daytime because of the glare. Yeah, they'll fix that. All Pro Shade puts that together where you can get the glare out and your TV will work perfectly as it was designed to do. It wasn't just for you to sit out there at night. This indoor outdoor weather's coming our way in a little bit and you have that patio TV that gets sun glare. Brady did it. You got the thing down on yours. Now your TV never has the news.
Brady
I held off because I'm like, why would I put another TV up right Time.
John Holmberg
Couldn't see it.
Brady
Yeah, yeah.
John Holmberg
Outdoors.
Brady
Nice to have at the time. But it wasn't like I've spent a lot of time.
John Holmberg
Can only watch at night.
Brady
Yep.
John Holmberg
And you go to bed before the sun goes down. So it's pointless at your house. If you want to watch TV on your patio in the daytime, in the pool, hot tub, whatever. Just make it a living space. It's a great thing. All Pro Shades there to help. Allprochade.com that's where you go. Brady report.
Brady
A good Thursday morning to you, Phoenix.
John Holmberg
Hello, world. Hi.
Brady
Big day today. Happy National Cheeseburger Day.
John Holmberg
Was a big day for you. All right. Now it's just a big observation day. You're on the observation deck, Brady.
Brady
There's plenty of deals out there too, are There, like dairy queen, your DQ rewards members. You get a free double original cheeseburger. McDonald's, you get a double cheeseburger for 50 cents.
John Holmberg
That's pretty good.
Brett
Let's go for lunch today.
John Holmberg
All right, Brett, you and I can go. All right. Yeah, go ham on some burgers.
Brady
Wendy's, $0.01 Junior Bacon Cheeseburger. Any app purchase White Castle. You get one free slider using your promo code.
Freddie
Let me help you out real quick, Freddie. Just, let me just. I know what you want right now and I. I understand because I'm there too. So let me just get down.
John Holmberg
Help.
Freddie
You out a little bit. Freddie, with this incredible boner you've got. What you talk about cheeseburgers.
John Holmberg
Best cheeseburger in town. Want to know it? Want to know it? Want to know it? Aftermath 16th street in Bethany. It's been voted the best cheeseburger in town. And that's because it is. They've got a single patty for happy hour. That's plenty. The double's ridiculous. Highly recommend. If you're looking for a top notch cheeseburger at a nice place, that is one I'd go to. I love that place.
Brady
This woman in LA went on TikTok after some jerk cut her off in a bunch of cars in the in and out.
John Holmberg
Mm.
Brady
There was long line there, probably 30 minutes. He said two cars ahead of her and this guy cut in. So it turned out they end up taking his order. But she said to the in and out employee taking orders, did you see that guy cutting from? I did. And they said they, they have a code that they put in that they. If someone cut them out, they put on the order home run. And that apparently is a code that they use when someone cuts in front of somebody. So when that person gets up to get their order, they say, we need you to pull aside there and we'll get your order.
John Holmberg
They ice them. Yeah, they've got a plan. Pretty smooth in and out. Lines are way too long. You got a ridiculous problem. So if you're cutting, if you're willing to wait in that line, get some rage, man. You're gonna get. You're making everybody. You're like the Kyler Murray of lines. What a dick.
Brady
Couple of basis fun facts. This past Tuesday was Pythagorean triple square day.
Brett
I'm sure that's what it was.
John Holmberg
It is Pythagorean. He did it. He got it right. It's a theory. Brady did.
Brady
It was 9, 16, 25.
John Holmberg
Huh.
Brady
The square roots of those numbers make.
John Holmberg
Up the pythagorean he's not saying what you're hearing. I bet I'm not the only one hearing that. It's Pythagorean. You're not. You're. You've got. You're a child.
Brett
Who, me?
John Holmberg
Yes. You're making me laugh because of how stupid you are. And stop it. So plus.
Brady
No four squared, plus five squared. Plus was the date.
John Holmberg
How about that? And what's it called again, for Brett's sake?
Brady
Pythagorean triple theory.
John Holmberg
Doesn't even come close to what he thinks you're saying.
Brady
You're a baby United States military child.
John Holmberg
We work with a child brain. Would you have even made it through geometry? Is it geometry? I don't even know. It's trigonometry. I don't know what it is. Math. It's math. Loads of math.
Brett
I barely made it through that.
John Holmberg
I wouldn't have made it to that. And it wouldn't be because of the giggles. Would have been. I'd have been frustrated.
Brady
United States military has a maximum height cut off.
John Holmberg
They do.
Brady
What's your guess?
John Holmberg
How tall you can be the tallest. You're probably 6, 4.
Brady
Taller.
John Holmberg
You can be a little taller now.
Brady
Yeah.
John Holmberg
How tall?
Brady
Six, eight.
John Holmberg
Six, eight. Well, why are they cutting anybody? How many guys are 6, 10? You don't have to cut too many out.
Brady
Right. And I wonder if that went up over the 6, 8.
John Holmberg
He's like a huge target. That's a lot of flesh running through the battlefield. You can't fly planes at 6, 8.
Brady
Like, how much is it to, you know, create the wardrobe?
John Holmberg
You're taking up too much. Oh, what about the beds and boot camp?
Brady
Boots, beds.
John Holmberg
That's too much.
Brady
Elephants have more genes related to smell than any other animal. They have five times more scent genes than humans and twice as many as dogs.
John Holmberg
They got a bigger nose.
Brady
I saw a special where they're talking about tracking and the guy, this hunter used elephants in a five mile radius.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Brady
And the elephant, in a matter of, like, hours.
John Holmberg
Wait.
Brady
Tracked him down by scent. They. They basically use the elephant to see if it was better than dog track.
John Holmberg
How much training goes in to make a dog do that?
Brady
Elephant did it.
John Holmberg
The elephant knew he was tracking the guy.
Brady
The elephant tracked the guy.
John Holmberg
He had to train him to do it, though. That's my point.
Brady
Yeah, they did.
John Holmberg
So they are using elephants to track things now.
Brady
Yep.
John Holmberg
That seems expensive. I think they eat more than a German Shepherd. We're not gonna have, like, canine and elephant cops.
Brady
Yeah, they're gonna have A big vehicle that's.
John Holmberg
There's no point to that at all.
Brady
They're just doing to the point of the.
Marcus
Isn't part of tracking remaining stealthy a little bit?
John Holmberg
Not really. When the dogs go after you, they come after.
Marcus
When they're tracking, they're.
Brady
They're pretty silent.
Marcus
When they get on the scent, they start barking.
Brady
Bloodhounds aren't.
John Holmberg
Yeah, no, they howl the whole time. Dogs can pretty much do whatever they want. Once the dogs are released to find you, you're pretty cooked. Holmberg's morning sickness. I was on that, that ride along and we had a moment. I had the best ride along of all time. And then when we got done with the car chase and all the. And the hold up hostage situation, get another call right away that some dude had just done something terrible and he was running down the canal. We're in the area. So we. And they, they get the whole thing out. They got the helicopter going over top and then here come the canines and they let him loose. And one of the cops was standing next to me. He goes, this has been the biggest disappointment in my police career. And I'm like, what? And he goes, we never find him with the dogs. Like really? And he goes, no, they have to be like close. And then the dogs get to bite him and he goes. But when we're searching, I get all amped up waiting for them to like just find the dog, just tearing a dude to bits or something. And he goes. It's just that they, they get, they never find them. Really. It was not in this situation. When we're on the trail, when you're tracking a guy and the dog's got to be faster, that's one thing. But when you're just like, he's around here somewhere. Because evidently your body, when you're nervous and you're running, shoots out pheromones. And the dogs pick up that before anything else.
Brady
According to a new report, women say they need a girl's night every 22 days.
John Holmberg
Like lesbians.
Brady
78% of women agree that girls nights are vital to feeling recharged. Not just as a nice to have bonus.
John Holmberg
Most husbands say they need a girl's night every 22 days. Well, not with their wives.
Marcus
I know more than.
John Holmberg
Oh yeah, Well, I mean, if we had it, the druthers would be much more than once a month.
Brady
80% say wine is the drink of choice for the ultimate girls night.
John Holmberg
Tostinos. Yeah, exactly. That's why they're in existence.
Brady
But as for the food, they said 31% prefer the classic charcuterie.
Brett
I was just gonna say that same thing.
John Holmberg
Well, that's what they.
Brady
It's not majority.
John Holmberg
They try so hard to be unique all the time. And all of them do the exact same things. Look no further than a wedding. They'll dress the same at a wedding. They'll have the same 12 by 12 dance floor. Every wedding looks exactly alike. And they call it their unique day.
Brady
62% of women say they even choose a girl's night over a romantic dinner with their partner. Maybe mainly for the conversation.
Brett
Same with us.
Marcus
Ouch.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Yeah.
Marcus
I'd much rather sit sit around with three.
John Holmberg
Welcome to our world, baby. We just need to get away from you. You have no idea how often I wish you had girls night. You should try it once a week.
Brady
AT&T is currently testing an AI receptionist which can answer your calls and block spam. The main element is screen the screening process to determine if call is legitimate or spam. And it won't just give you information on the number can actually answer. Ask questions to figure out if the caller is human or a bot.
John Holmberg
Oh, my God.
Brady
And how urgent the call is based on the criteria they provide.
John Holmberg
I have been foiled. Goodbye. Beep bop boop.
Brady
The AI receptionist will say, who may I say is calling? Or what is this in regard to? Oh, if the caller checks the right boxes, the call is passed through to you. If it fails, the system will hang up or take a message.
John Holmberg
That's just your voicemail.
Brady
The downside is that you may be forced to interact with the AI receptionist while trying to.
John Holmberg
You're trying to hit on your reception.
Brady
Call a friend.
Marcus
Downside to set it up. What?
Brady
What's that? What they're saying. Basically, you're forced to interact with the AI receptionist on saying, oh, when you call.
John Holmberg
I see.
Brady
While you're trying to call a friend, that's fine. But there would be a way for the friend.
John Holmberg
Jesus. I need this for Doug Hopkins. If I have a. If I have an assistant answering the phone all the time, I would train my AI receptionist to say, I'm sorry, Mr. Holberg doesn't accept calls from bots. God damn it. On the other line, that's all you'd hear.
Marcus
Give me a script. We'll revive the AI today. I'll get you. I'll get you. It would answer my Says that there's.
John Holmberg
No reason to call me ever. Text me. Text me first. I got to call you. Doug. Doug does it four times a day.
Marcus
Your AI would be Doug, you know.
John Holmberg
How that would start with that. Doug, text John before you call. He doesn't have a ringer. Everybody's got a ringer. He doesn't. He turned it off. I never know when my phone's ringing.
Brady
It will roll out this year and as a test for select AT and T customers.
John Holmberg
Yeah, I like it. Isn't it just extreme voicemail?
Brady
No.
John Holmberg
Yes, it is extreme. No, no, it's extreme. It's just don't answer your phone and then if they leave a message, call them back on your own. It's the same thing.
Brady
Well, I'm hoping that then, yeah. Does it cut down on the amount of calls you still have to say, but you don't know.
Marcus
I don't think anyone's cutting down.
John Holmberg
Robots don't leave messages. So you're off. Like your voicemail does all that already.
Brady
There's this dude in Florida named Larry Rada Jr. He was spotted speeding last Saturday afternoon. When a deputy tried to stop him, he spun his car in a full circle around the cop car and sped off. Police opted not to pursue him for safety reasons. Larry later crashed with three kids inside and then he escaped with them by hurling them over a six foot fence and then jumping over himself.
John Holmberg
Well, kids are.
Brady
That's according to the report.
John Holmberg
Wow. They'll bounce back.
Brady
All three children were taken to the hospital, checked out and released. Larry was later booked on three counts of child neglect.
John Holmberg
Yeah. And child chucking.
Marcus
Law books.
John Holmberg
Guilty of child chucking.
Marcus
You said chucking, right?
John Holmberg
Yeah. This guy said. The next update for the Apple phone has the phone answering service that will filter your calls for you. And AI sounds like a real person and asks questions about what you want and then decides for you if the call will go through to you.
Brady
Nice.
John Holmberg
It picks up before it even rings. Isn't that just kind of the cowards hoa of phones where you're afraid to tell your neighbor's yard looks like crap, so you hire people to do it. Isn't it just. Shouldn't you just answer your phone and go, hi, what's this about?
Brady
Well, that could be a good thing. It stops some of the predatory. Huh? They answer the call, the older people.
John Holmberg
Yeah, that's true, I guess, for old people, but are they getting new iPhones? No, the people who. Yeah, the people who can't do. Yeah, they probably.
Brady
But they should now they have that service.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Marcus
Seeing my stepdad try and navigate a smartphone is priceless. He's got a flip phone.
John Holmberg
Yeah, it's not fun to watch old people push the screen.
Brady
It's two flying cars collided midair on Tuesday while rehearsing for an air show in China. Both pilots are. Okay. Okay. It's basically more of a, like, helio car.
Marcus
Oh.
John Holmberg
Oh. It's just they've got the props.
Brady
The props almost like those flying drones where you can sit in. They collided.
John Holmberg
That's gonna happen.
Brady
Those guys survived, but the news outlets are calling it the first flying car crash.
John Holmberg
Yeah, well, we're gonna have plenty of them.
Marcus
Never forget, number one.
John Holmberg
Never forget the very first person killed by an automobile got hit going seven and a half miles an hour. Killed her.
Brett
Oh, there you go.
John Holmberg
So there's gonna be some problems going in now. I think we can probably take a hit from a car about 15 before we're severely injured. That's just resilience, the human strength.
Brady
I got a two radio videos.
Marcus
Okay, hang on. I'm behind.
Brady
First one you'll like, especially after having a little breakfast.
John Holmberg
Oh, boy.
Marcus
It's. It's not deformity. I can say that he's got away from it. He's gotten off that Jag.
John Holmberg
Justin has emailed and said, I have a Pixel phone and Google phone screener came with it five years ago. Pop Pop seems to be a little behind the times on this one. I give it to Pop Pop on this one. I haven't ever heard of it.
Marcus
Yeah, me either.
John Holmberg
And especially if you make green texts, I don't want to hear about your phone.
Marcus
Also, you and Marcus are friends because Marcus says the same.
John Holmberg
Yeah, Marcus says his name. Right. But guess what? You make green text so no one listens to you.
Brady
Well, it's got to be a little more advanced, too.
John Holmberg
Maybe if they're saying not listening to them, they make green texts, they ruin everything. The other day, Doug Hopkins sent a thing over of a father crying about his son's accomplishments. And of course, my natural reaction was to text back the homo F word just because it was hilarious, but I instead wrote tag. And because someone on the thread makes green texts, you can't fix it.
Marcus
Oh, so you had to.
John Holmberg
No, I just wrote it again. Double just doubled it up because it's amongst friends. So it was hilarious. And one of them is, where's the.
Brett
Poor people on your list that has green phone?
John Holmberg
It was. It was one of Doug's buddies. I know him. He's a nice guy, but he's got.
Marcus
Works with Doug, and Doug doesn't, you know, shame him into getting a real.
John Holmberg
I don't know if they, like, work together. If they just work together, you know, I Mean Holg's morning sickness.
Brady
We got a chick at a dumpster getting a little lunch.
John Holmberg
She's dumpster diving for food.
Brady
You white folks.
John Holmberg
Oh. Oh, no. She's a. Oh, God. She opened up the garbage can, and it's filled with liquid. And it's at a restaurant. It's in the dumpster at a restaurant. And she's pulled out all the liquid that hit the bottom of the trash. She opened up, and she just puts her mouth under it, and it leaks into her mouth. And then she pulls wads of thrown out spaghetti. Clam linguine that was left over. My Lord. Oh, my God. When she pokes a hole. You know, when you have. Oh, and restaurants, too. Oh, restaurant trash bags are always filled with liquid at the bottom. Like, everything.
Marcus
Covid came for her, and she said.
Brett
Whatever, hold my beer.
John Holmberg
What's Covid? Oh, it's a. I have to stay six feet away. I'm not catching any. Oh, my lord. Yeah, she's immune to all of it.
Brady
Next one I call scooter bowling. Okay, it's guy on a scooter gets hit by a car, but you'll see what happens.
John Holmberg
Oh, then he goes flying and knocks down the spare. He flies off his scooter after he gets hit by a car and picks up the 7:10 scooter split as he flies through the air and lands on other scooters. And those dudes had no chance. And that might have saved his life or killed the other two guys.
Marcus
Actually, yeah, you might be right.
John Holmberg
Little cushion, because the first.
Brady
Definitely the second one caught. Yeah. Brunt.
John Holmberg
Everybody's got broken bones, but I would assume no one's dead, which I guess is a plus. And Toledo's most recent destination for vacation, where flying Thailanders go over their scooters and hit other dudes on scooters.
Brady
When you going back?
Marcus
I think we're doing Europe next, so Asia will be a while before we.
John Holmberg
You know, your country is in trouble when you drive to work and you have to dodge more than two scooters on your way in. Yeah, if I went to work today and there were more.
Brady
A thousand every day.
John Holmberg
Well, thousands. Look, we're way past. I'm saying two is the baseline for what's happened to my country.
Marcus
And you think lane splitting is new here? It's not new there.
John Holmberg
They don't have lanes. I've watched them drive.
Marcus
They do, but they're all over the place. More of a suggestion than a rule.
John Holmberg
Please.
Marcus
If rush hour in Bangkok is all.
John Holmberg
Scooters, if right now, independent. Not two scooters riding along together being jackasses. I count that as one scooter siding. But if you drive down 52nd street and go, goddamn scooter. And then you make a left a little later and it's McDowell and there's a second scooter. Jesus Christ, another scooter. Our country's in trouble.
Brett
Time to move.
John Holmberg
It's happening. It's happening here. Too many scooters makes for a terrible country. We are a non scooter nation. We are first world. It gets low level. Second world. The more scooters you see, the closer you are to third world. Scooters are the precursor for economic problems.
Brady
We are adding one to the mix.
John Holmberg
A scooter.
Brady
Ronnie's aunt who passed away in December.
John Holmberg
She'S got one of those out of Vespa. Those are those Italian bougie, A to B.
Brady
So it's.
John Holmberg
But again, it's coming. It's got that cool little front end. And people in Italy are giving that to Kirby Brady. Those aren't scooters.
Marcus
Vespa rider.
John Holmberg
Those aren't scooters. They're low. There's low level motorcycles now. If there's like 30 of them and nobody knows each other, our country's in trouble.
Brett
And they all got the same haircut.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, yeah, that's. That goes without saying.
Brady
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Okay. That's the other thing. If America all of a sudden has nothing but bowl cuts and we're riding around in scooters. Yes. We're out of money. That's a sign. We don't even have scooter sales. Like, there's no lot full of. I can't imagine where. Toledo Vacations there. You can't go down any streets without like one Tex Earnhardt of scooters.
Marcus
Absolutely.
John Holmberg
Come on down.
Marcus
Scooter nation for you never saw a dealership. But they're everywhere.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Marcus
I mean, they got to get them somewhere.
John Holmberg
Here's another thing. Your country's about to collapse. If you see a scooter with more than one person on it.
Brady
Oh, I thought you were gonna say tuk tuks.
John Holmberg
I've already hung myself.
Brett
Yeah, that's already done.
Marcus
You don't even need the scooters. If you see a tuk tuk. If you see a theory is right.
John Holmberg
If you see multiple tuk tuks in a day, Jesus is here tomor over. That's the end of that. All right, Go right ahead. All right.
Brett
Start off with a little public transportation warning. Keep your arms in the windows at all times.
John Holmberg
Oh, God, no. It's got his arm out of a bus elbow.
Brady
It hit a. Oh, it opened up.
John Holmberg
Oh, it opened up. It broke it in half. Oh, my God. His forearm. From the 3/4 mark right above. Right below the elbow. It is just mangled by whatever post that driver for nearly.
Brady
He handled it pretty well.
John Holmberg
Oh, if his elbow got hit. That thing's got no mirrors. That. That was within an inch of the side of the bus.
Brett
And here's your average de. Gloved crank.
John Holmberg
Oh, God.
Brady
What?
John Holmberg
His penis has no skin on it. The skin is off and there's.
Brady
Oh.
John Holmberg
Oh, my God. Brett, I need an explanation. This guy's testing.
Brett
I don't have one.
John Holmberg
The skin on his penis is missing completely.
Marcus
Mountain biking accident.
John Holmberg
No.
Brady
Or is it something that ate the flesh away?
John Holmberg
That's too clean.
Marcus
Did they just take off his testes?
John Holmberg
I think they had to cut those off.
Marcus
Right?
John Holmberg
Or is this a sex change operation?
Brady
Yeah, I think it is.
John Holmberg
This might be. Well, no, because they turn the balls inside out.
Brady
Yeah, Just.
John Holmberg
They're sewing this up. I've watched the sex change operation online, and it is a full inversion.
Marcus
Sorry to disappoint, Brady, but I think.
John Holmberg
That'S a full removal from taint. Ripping from hole to ball. Wow. They have got an awful lot of skin laying where skin shouldn't be. There you go. Okay, now they're just. What do they do? Where do they. What do you get? You graft it from your thigh. Where did his balls go?
Marcus
Well, they just cut it off. Right? So they're putting that on the shaft.
John Holmberg
Or what I need. Oh, they're burying it. There's a cavern of ball skin this guy's fingers are in.
Marcus
That's how they're gonna. That's how they're gonna let it heal.
John Holmberg
Oh, my God.
Brady
Looks like.
John Holmberg
Oh, it looks like a sausage. Don't laugh, doctors. Oh, my God. What are we looking at here? Now they're just turning the penis upside down. With nose again. Skinless penis. Delicious and available at the Alaskan Fish Company. Oh, God. What's that? There's a giant hole where his sack used to be. Okay, that's enough. How much longer does this video go on?
Brett
That's why I'm skipping forward. It's like a five minute video. I think we're getting to the end here.
John Holmberg
Are they getting the skin back together on that thing? It looks like they're doing a pretty good job. Oh, that. Can you imagine the. Brady, you know your surgery scar hurts. Imagine having. That's footage from my Surgery together when they're sewing it in a pouch so it grows skinning. And then they're going to open it up like. Like a butterfly in a cocoon. Oh, Lord. Oh. And there it is.
Brett
All right, split up the mouth.
John Holmberg
Unfortunately, those doctors wasted a lot of time because that guy's going to go home immediately and kill himself. There's no way. It's got a shunt in it. And.
Brady
Oh.
John Holmberg
Oh, I would.
Brett
Patel did a great job.
John Holmberg
Dr. Patel did a very nice job, but he already had a small one, so it was, like, almost embarrassing to show a doctor.
Brett
I hope he added to it.
John Holmberg
How do you lose the skin on your wiener? How does that not have a story attached? All right, my doctor. There's a girl with a hot dog, and a guy is putting a condiment on it through his pee pee. It's a mustard and ketchup and man juice. And she's eating it. She took a big bite of that hot dog. Very tasty. No reason for that, but it was funny. All right. Oh, Jesus. He's not done yet.
Brett
All right, here we go.
John Holmberg
I'll take this. Oh, yeah. Oh, God. Is that a fat man? Yeah. On another skinny man. This is a gigantic fat Ralphie May sized man.
Brady
That's gotta be a. Oh, God.
John Holmberg
I've never seen this before. This is a new one for me. This is always. This is a giant fat man's anus. Oh, please. The video. Oh, good. I thought something was coming out.
Brett
No, no, no, no.
John Holmberg
I've never seen a fat. A gigantic fat Ralphie gay on top of a twink. But that was close.
Brett
And here's something you don't see every day.
John Holmberg
There's a guy with a. What is that? There's two people in. Oh, wow. Okay. I see what's going on.
Brady
Okay.
Brett
We strapped one on the back.
John Holmberg
He's got a strap on off his bottom, and he's sitting in between two girls, and he's going forward with his God given one. And then his plastic one is on his back and there's a girl using that. I don't know what position this is, but it's. It's in Russia. Yeah. Seems like everybody's happy, right? And George Jefferson shoots into the thing for no reason.
Brett
And then we'll just end.
John Holmberg
There's more.
Brett
Yeah, we'll just end with.
John Holmberg
That was more educational than it was. That was pretty good, Brett.
Brett
So you learned something new on this show.
John Holmberg
All right. And then here's a lady with her knees up by her ears and somebody's peeing into a cup and now peeing into her bodily.
Brett
It's in a funnel, actually.
John Holmberg
Oh, it's in a funnel. She's drinking it and this guy's peeing on her. Her genitals and then back in the cup, which is a funnel going into her mouth. That's a lot of urine. This guy drank a lot of water. Now he's on her face. This is a lot. This is an awful lot to guess.
Brady
He couldn't find it.
John Holmberg
She finished off the whole funnel is dry. She drank it all. Good for her.
Brady
That's all Draina.
John Holmberg
That is. Wow. Fantastic. I'm still angry at people who make green texts than any of those people I just saw. Well, there you go. That's your world in a nutshell. On September 18, 2025, that's your world. We call it the Brady Report. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.
Podcast: Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Arizona
Episode: 09-18-25 – BR – THU – This Week Had Pythagorean Square Day – Women Say They Need Girls Night Every 22 Days – AT&T Testing AI Receptionist To Answer Calls Block Spam
Date: September 18, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo, Marcus
This episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness blends the show’s characteristic irreverence with quick-witted humor as the hosts riff on odd news stories, pop-culture tidbits, and listener emails. Themes include odd behavioral science (from women’s socializing routines to elephants with super-smellers), the ever-looming presence of AI in daily life, and the social dangers signaled by a boom in scooter sightings. Listeners get news, personal anecdotes, and reactions to wild viral videos, all filtered through the show’s unapologetically blunt comedic lens.
Dumpster Diving for Restaurant Food:
The hosts react in horror and fascination to a video of a woman eating from a leaking restaurant dumpster bag. (19:49–20:43)
Scooter Bowling:
A video of a scooter accident—comparing the aftermath to picking up a “7–10 split.” (20:43–21:14)
Gory and Bizarre Medical Videos:
Creative NSFW Sexual Antics:
Final Word:
“Burn your Vick jersey and piss it out. And then all is forgiven. Kyler, renounce your love of Michael Vick.”
– John Holmberg, 02:08
“Happy National Cheeseburger Day.”
– Brady, 03:59
“If you’re willing to wait in that line, get some rage, man. … You’re like the Kyler Murray of lines. What a dick.”
– John Holmberg, 06:06
“It was 9, 16, 25. The square roots of those numbers make up the Pythagorean…”
– Brady, 06:37
“That’s a lot of flesh running through the battlefield. You can’t fly planes at 6’8.”
– John Holmberg, 08:14
“We never find them with the dogs. Like really? … When you’re tracking a guy … your body shoots out pheromones. The dogs pick up that.”
– John Holmberg, 10:52
“78% of women agree that girls nights are vital to feeling recharged—not just as a nice-to-have bonus.”
– Brady, 11:21
“Most husbands say they need a girls night every 22 days. Well, not with their wives.”
– John Holmberg, 11:30
“The AI receptionist will say, ‘Who may I say is calling?’ or ‘What is this in regard to?’ … If it fails, the system will hang up or take a message.”
– Brady, 13:12
“I need this for Doug Hopkins. If I have an assistant answering the phone all the time, I would train my AI receptionist to say, ‘I’m sorry, Mr. Holmberg doesn’t accept calls from bots.’”
– John Holmberg, 13:51
“We are a non-scooter nation. We are first world. … The more scooters you see, the closer you are to third world.”
– John Holmberg, 22:22–22:42
“If you see multiple tuk tuks in a day, Jesus is here tomorrow. That’s the end.”
– John Holmberg, 24:00
The episode is quintessentially HMS: fast-paced, sarcastic, sometimes crude, and always unapologetically in-your-face. The hosts riff seamlessly between news and banter, listeners’ emails, and shared video reactions, maintaining a comedic yet brash, “locker room” candor throughout.
Listeners get a surreal blend of current events, trivia, and frank social commentary—intertwined with the hosts' signature Arizona-local flavor and raucous humor. If you want a daily download of oddball news and unsanitized opinions, this episode delivers in spades.