09-18-25 - Thursdays w/Former Dallas Cowboy OLineman Dale Hellestrae - Dale Challenges That His Sperm Is Most Valued In The Room - Thoughts On Kyler Murray's IG Post And Week 3 Games

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness – 09-18-25

Episode: Thursdays w/Former Dallas Cowboy OLineman Dale Hellestrae – Sperm Debates, Kyler Murray’s IG Post, and Week 3 Games

Date: September 18, 2025 | Host: John Holmberg, with Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo | Featured Guest: Dale Hellestrae

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Overview

This episode features the recurring “Thursdays with Dale Hellestrae” segment, diving deep into the show’s signature mix of raucous banter and irreverent sports talk. The morning kicks off with an escalating argument about whose sperm would be most desirable (and why nobody wants Dale’s), then transitions to a critical dissection of Kyler Murray’s social media choices, and closes with an insider’s take on the state of modern NFL kicking. Throughout, the crew keeps the energy rapid-fire and self-deprecating, riffing on physical traits, past athletic achievements, football culture, and the latest controversies.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Sperm Debate: Who’s Got the Best Genes? (00:51–14:50)

• The Bit: Holmberg sparks a semi-serious, mostly hilarious argument about whose sperm is most desirable, with Dale Hellestrae insisting his is top-tier (“most valued in the room”) and the rest of the crew ruthlessly undermining him.
• Riffs on Looks & Genetics: Multiple rounds of insults about age, body composition, height, “ugly as sin” faces, and declining fertility. The crew ranks themselves and each other by hypothetical genetic desirability, with Dale unwavering until outvoted.
• Odd Standards: Discussion devolves into the minutiae of balding, ear size, athleticism (“You ride a bike? That’s athleticism!” – John, 03:45), and why nobody would choose any of their offspring if given the option.
• Listener Interactions: John reads emails mocking Dale, including one listener’s blunt:

  “If choices are Brady or Dale, I’m choosing to eat a gun.” (13:01)
  and Dale’s pained, “That might be your ugliest listener.” (08:06)

• Self-Deprecation: Both Dale and John admit they wouldn’t wish their looks on a daughter:

  “I could never imagine putting this face on a female. It would be unfair.” – John (17:08)

• Memorable Dale moment:

  “I would not want [my daughter] to look like me any more than the man in the moon. But I gave her height.” (15:14)

Notable Quotes

• John: “There's no woman alive who would want your sperm. You're short and heavy, you’re ugly as sin, and you're narcissistic.” (01:34)
• Dale: “The envy is just palatable... palpable.” (11:29)
• John: “Any man takes a swing at my sperm, I’m gonna start shooting back, so to speak.” (11:43)

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2. The Kyler Murray Instagram Controversy (17:55–21:58)

• The Issue: Kyler Murray posts a photo in knee-high leather boots, a Michael Vick jacket, and posing with a pit bull. The group critiques the tone-deafness, referencing Vick’s dog-fighting scandal.
• Lackluster Apology: All agree Murray’s apology was insufficient; they debate whether public apologies ever truly satisfy.
• Patterns of Bad Judgment: They note Murray’s history of questionable decisions—videogame clause in contract, previous social media blunders, disparaging comments:

  “He has a history of making not smart decisions... he’s done nothing to earn this.” – Dale (21:04)

• Team Accountability: They agree a professional team (or someone close) should have stopped the photo:

  “Someone should have, someone should have told him... Have a team. Somebody shooting in that photo was like, hey, maybe we shouldn't be doing this.” – John (21:50)

• Comparison to Notorious Players: References to Aaron Hernandez, O.J. Simpson, and the consequences of idolizing problematic players.

Notable Quotes

• John: “O.J. was a great player. Nobody's walking into the stadium wearing an Aaron Hernandez jersey and saying, ‘he was my favorite player growing up.’” (19:13)
• Dale: “You don't wear Aaron Hernandez jerseys in photoshoots and say, 'oh he was my favorite player.'” (19:41)

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3. Evolution of NFL Kicking & Its Impact on the Game (21:58–29:46)

• Long-Range Success: The crew is gobsmacked by today’s 60+ yard field goals, noting how rule changes and the new “kicking ball” (K ball) have made it routine.
• The Kicking Ball Explained: Dale, as a former special teams standout, details the evolution—from roughing up the balls for distance to the introduction of the regulated K ball in the ‘90s.
• Gambling & The Modern Game: They discuss how increased field goal range shifts end-of-game strategy, minimizes drama, and could alter gambling outcomes:

  “These guys are crushing 60 yards. Do you think this continues? … it's too much.” – John (25:10)

• NFL’s Intentions: Suggestions that the league actually prefers higher scoring, more “exciting” finishes, but the innovation could have unintended competitive effects.
• Accuracy v. Excitement: Dale explains how easier kicking reduces the tension of close games, much like how NBA’s obsession with threes has turned games into shootouts.
• Historical Perspective: Dale recounts the story of Buffalo’s Scott Norwood, whose max range dictated final-play decisions—a contrast with today’s big-legged kickers.

Notable Quotes

• Dale: “When I first came in, it was banging balls against the wall, put them in the dryer, making them very mushy so they could go further… then they brought in what they call the K ball.” (23:01)
• John: “Gambling is going to change the outcome of games. Because before when you were down… you had to get down to the 30 yard line to have a legitimate shot. And it was more fun to watch.” (24:46)
• Dale: “The NFL wants 8, 7 exciting runs scored… defensive battle doesn’t really catch everybody’s attention.” (26:38)

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Memorable Moments & Humor

• Roasts & Running Gags: Dale’s hair (or lack thereof), Brady’s “one kidney,” and the burning question: Who’s worse-looking as a genetic parent?
• Voicing Listener Emails: The show actively weaves in real-time listener mockery (“Noseberg, tell Lenny from Of Mice and Men…” (12:30)), egging on the banter.
• Camaraderie: Despite the relentless jabs, there’s warmth as the group acknowledges each other’s past athleticism, life choices, and tough genetic hands.
• Rapid Pivoting: Despite spending almost half the show on the sperm joke, they smoothly transition to sharp sports commentary, showing why the segment remains a fan favorite.

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Episode Highlights by Timestamp

• 00:51–14:50: Sperm argument and personal roasts (“You’re coming in fourth. Behind, like, one kidney head … this dude is barely alive.”)
• 15:14–17:49: Why they wouldn't want their daughters to look like them; genetic humility
• 17:55–21:57: Kyler Murray’s Instagram post, athlete apologies, consequences of idolizing problematic players
• 21:58–29:46: NFL kicking revolution, gambling’s influence, how long-range field goals change endgame strategy (“These guys are crushing 60 yards … it's too much.”)
• Throughout: Classic banter and listener emails keep the show moving at a lively, irreverent pace

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Tone & Style

• Irreverent, quick-witted, and brutally honest sports radio.
• Frequent self-deprecation and playful insults—no one is safe, including the listeners.
• Mix of inside football talk and universal humor about aging, vanity, and questionable decision-making.

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Conclusion

This episode exemplifies the Holmes Morning Sickness formula: relentless ballbusting, dark humor, keen sports insight, and a willingness to roast even themselves. From the instantly-memorable “sperm-off” to the culture war around Kyler Murray’s social posts, and a deep-dive into the evolving NFL kicking game, listeners receive both a comedic reprieve and genuine analysis. Whether you’re a diehard NFL follower or just love good-natured mockery, this episode delivers the goods—no apology (or sperm) needed.

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Transcript

[A]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness. Thrilled to tell you about my friends at Turf Monsters. Backyard living space. You either have it or you don't. It doesn't matter if you've got a huge yard or a little one. Making outdoor living space a priority is great for you, your home, your pets. The turf they put in looks amazing. 365 days a year they added in a putting green. I have a beautiful backyard space. My dogs love, that I love. And the script has been flipped. So if you see your yard as a job, stop it. Go to turfmonstersaz.com, say homework sent you and get 10 off your vision. Turfmonstersaz.com you thought that was funny?

[B]

You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? Okay, you PD those phones on?

[A]

Jesus, quiet down. Here's me. I see your good stuff right there. Jeez. Dale Hellistray joins us once again to complain about the last song it was on because it wasn't our word country and we already get it. Dale, that's enough. Dale. Hell astray three times.

[B]

Hold on, I gotta do your right after this. I just want to know if I walked in on Aesop's fables.

[A]

Okay. You just looked that up.

[B]

No, because I listened on the way over here. Yeah. And I'm hearing three of the ugliest people that I've ever seen in my life.

[A]

That's not true.

[B]

Talk about somebody actually wanting their spirit sperm. Sperm is free.

[A]

It's a true story.

[B]

That's not a true story.

[A]

He just doesn't understand because no one's ever asked for his sperm.

[B]

There's nobody, no woman alive who would want. What are your three sperm? You're short and heavy, you're ugly as sin, and you're narcissistic.

[A]

Why is he narcissistic?

[B]

What do you call girls, Toots or.

[A]

Oh, he's a misogynist. Narcissistic. Not really. Selling your sperm? Yeah, I was gonna say Jesus, your sperm is brain dead.

[B]

65270.

[A]

With looks and a person barely knows any words. Fear of fire.

[B]

The market would be on fire.

[A]

Let's set it up. We'll do a taste test like the Pepsi Challenge and see whose sperms is the best. Is your still active?

[B]

Very much so. Is that true?

[A]

You didn't get a vasectomy?

[B]

No, I have not.

[A]

No, Kidding. Okay.

[B]

My wife had a hysterectomy.

[A]

Oh, that's a good woman. Get her through it. All right. That's nice. Yeah, so. But look, seriously, if there was a sperm off in this room.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You're coming in fourth. Behind one kidney Head like this dude.

[B]

Is barely alive, honestly. And you know this in your heart and in your mind it go me. No way. Brett's the second best looking.

[A]

I agree that Brett's a handsome man.

[B]

But there is no way you got a little lead over Brady. Only because he has the one kidney.

[A]

Please. Articulate, brilliant, ugly. So what? So are you. They're not dealing with good luck. You're ugly as sin. You know, if it came down to it, if we had a contest of whose sperm for free in a contest, if we give a caller a choice, whose sperm would you like to go along with a concert?

[B]

Two, three.

[A]

Your third.

[B]

Yes. No, no, no. Your third.

[A]

If it's okay, if it's just for physical traits.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Third. Brett's six. Two, six, three. Good, good.

[B]

Pooch. Got a pooch.

[A]

Well, you don't. The baby doesn't pick that up.

[B]

That's whoever raises a non athletic.

[A]

Okay, he's athletic enough for what?

[B]

Stuff to play pickleball. At 50 years old.

[A]

He's got. Well, the baby's not going to pick up his 50 year old traits. Like growing up Brett could play some ball. He's. You're not. You're not totally uncoordinated.

[B]

Right?

[A]

I don't know if you're athletic to a certain degree, but you mountain bike everything. I've seen him do stuff.

[B]

You ride a bike.

[A]

That's athleticism. Please. The way we go out and mountain bike together.

[B]

Dale, my five year old grandson.

[A]

Yeah. Let's go out and mountain bike. Let's go ride. Let's go ride.

[B]

How old are you?

[A]

52.

[B]

Okay. At 52 I'd have taken you on.

[A]

Well, you're talking right now. We're talking also back in the day.

[B]

You finally got fired.

[A]

Yeah, I know. It's good stuff. I like what you did. Here's the fun thing about your contest.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Is that I know for a fact that without we would have.

[B]

It would.

[A]

No steroids, no artificial enhancements.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Your erection has to be natural.

[B]

You're out.

[A]

You're out. Brady's out and he's got an excuse.

[B]

How does steroids.

[A]

Steroids meaning Viagra. Like you can't artificially.

[B]

Never, never even.

[A]

Right. You don't even know if it works.

[B]

I'm not down at Dave's place getting shots like somebody in this room was. We'll remain nameless.

[A]

I wasn't getting shots. Not for Ed.

[B]

I don't know what you're getting shots for, John.

[A]

Yeah, I went down to Dave's place years ago. Yeah, that's a long time ago.

[B]

All right, do my introduction.

[A]

No, no, no. And also I'll show. I'll prove it to you. I can get a good right now.

[B]

Seriously, I need the best looking girl that listens to you. God forbid that.

[A]

Well, you're selling yourself, Dale. You're selling it.

[B]

But you.

[A]

You. If it's just physical tricks.

[C]

We did that for the Father's Day thing. And the one feedback.

[A]

Yes. Oh yeah. The one girl said you were in dead last. The girl that came in and you said she wasn't attractive.

[B]

Well, that's because she was with the ALS guy.

[A]

Humdinger was not her boyfriend. It was a. No, he had als, for God's sakes. You don't call that. Doctors don't call that humdinger disease.

[C]

I'm sorry.

[A]

Second, if it's just physical traits, Brett, me, you, maybe Brady.

[B]

What do you do? 6ft 5, 2 70, lumpy. 6ft.

[A]

6Ft. My feet are growing. We'll get into that in a minute.

[B]

So are your ears.

[A]

I know. That's good. Something's not right. I have huge ears.

[B]

I know. And I got small ears.

[A]

No, I know. And you can't hear words.

[B]

And that's why you said Brett is a misogynistic narcissist.

[A]

Yeah, I know. He made up words. Not a narcissist. You don't even know what it means. So.

[B]

I know.

[A]

If we're talking about a woman who. It didn't. If we're talking. We're talking about a woman who wants a real like a chance to have a functioning member of society. It isn't you. Your broken down mess.

[B]

I'm 63. Brett just said we're not going at 63. Would you like to have a 6 foot 4, 220 pound high school senior who's a really great athlete? That sounded good and looks good. No.

[A]

When did that.

[C]

You got the athlete part.

[A]

He's got. He's got one game.

[B]

Yeah, I've got two games.

[A]

Basketball. You were never good at basketball.

[B]

State.

[A]

And when the 70s, there were four black guys in the whole state.

[B]

We played with the. With the little oak and bucket.

[A]

Yeah, you played with an oak and bucket. And everybody you played against had a cowboy hat and spurs. This place wasn't even a city in.

[C]

The 70s, tying up the Chuck Taylors.

[A]

You didn't. Yeah.

[B]

You were.

[A]

Chuck's the two black. Tell the story about when they finally went to the real All Stars. You were the only white kid there, right? Right.

[B]

Does that say something?

[A]

Yeah. And you never played because they were like, oh, this is what good best was.

[B]

Because you're around to see it. Shut up.

[A]

You told me the story.

[B]

I did. I was the only white guy.

[A]

They called you 12, didn't they? That was your nickname because you were the last guy on the bench.

[B]

I'm sure they call me a lot of things, but remember back in 1980, they picked 12 dudes from the state of Arizona to play a national basketball tournament. I was one of them.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And when I walked into the gym, I was only a white guy.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

There were three black coaches.

[A]

And then somebody said, there's been a mistake.

[B]

We're going away for two weeks.

[A]

And I'm like, oh, you know what it was? I haven't. I figured it out on paper. They saw that there was a kid at Saguaro named Dale Hellestray, but there was a little piece of dirt on the page. So they said somebody at Saguaro's name D ale Hellister, they thought it was an apostrophe. And they called you up and you showed up. They just saw 6, 5, 208 or whatever you were.

[C]

Probably two weeks end up being a blast. Right.

[B]

It ended up being a fantastic trip for me and obviously helped me as the next 21 years went along.

[A]

So.

[B]

Yeah, introduce me.

[A]

I will in a second. But this email says, please, Dale shows up, you want his sperm? Yeah, I want a dying Siamese cat's hair on my kid.

[B]

Might be that. That might be your ugliest listener.

[A]

That's a good one. This one says, what woman wants sperm from a dude who has to mooch time on someone else's radio show once? Oh, it was a good point. That's right. That's a good point. Speaking of Dale hellas trace here, three time world champion back in the 90s, and evidently all star when all of Arizona was segregated in basketball. Sports reports brought to you by our friends at Diamond Coatings. Getting my whole poly. Polyasperadic is what they call it. The floor that they're going to do.

[C]

That's the treatment on the court.

[A]

Whatever they did to your garage is awesome.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And I'm going to do that to my court. It's so cool what they did. And garages are ugly unless you fix Them, Right. These guys are the best. Diamond code. You say they do house paint? Yeah. You're getting your house done stuff over there.

[C]

Looking at the wall, they do basically that stuff that blocks the rate. Like it's similar to the.

[A]

Oh, it's the cooling stuff.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. That's pretty cool. Okay. Yeah, that's great. They do that. And they'll talk to you about that too. If you're tired of looking at your boring beat up concrete, your. Your pavers, all that. I don't know how your house.

[C]

I'm a west wall that just gets baked into the master bedroom is.

[A]

That's pretty cool. Anyway, call them up.

[B]

Baked inside now, huh?

[C]

Oh, yeah. There's a lot of bacon if it gets any hotter.

[A]

Dale diamond coatingaz.com is where you need to go. And we're all like. Once it hit Brady's place, we're like, yeah, it's pretty awesome.

[B]

I need my garage done. You're right. They're just doing that. The garage, totally different. Immediately looks better.

[A]

Oh yeah. It changes everything. Like you're proud of your garage.

[C]

Good about going out.

[A]

Yeah. My garage looks like garbage because the floor is ugly. I gotta fix that. Anyway. Dale's here. Nobody wants a sperm. That's right. We should call your wife and say, do you still want Dale's sperm? And then would she answer, still want.

[B]

At 63? Why? Why would she want my sperm at 63?

[A]

Why would she want it at 30?

[B]

I'm talking about because look at.

[A]

Right. Exactly. I am. You're answering my questions. Yes, I am.

[B]

I know. Do you want 5, 11, 6ft, ugly bald? Do you want 5, 4?

[A]

Dale, you're not unbold. You are not unbold.

[B]

Or do you want the misogyn?

[A]

I've asked you and I don't remember. Yeah, the misogynist narcissist. Is that. Are those implants? Your hair. I don't remember if you did that.

[B]

It's just my hair.

[A]

That's where your hair. That is male unpattern baldness. It just went away. Here and here. It's. You're molting. You call me bald?

[B]

Fight my dad. I can't fight my mom. It's passed on down just like you can.

[A]

But just shave it. Because it's gone.

[B]

No, because then I'd look like you.

[A]

No, it's worse.

[B]

This is worse.

[C]

Six foot five buzzard.

[A]

This is worse. Yeah. You have buzzard condor. It calls us bald all the time. Of our. Our traits. We can't fight our parents either. But you've Got the exact same thing. That's not hair.

[B]

Let's move on to school. The jealousy is.

[A]

Oh, you taking swings. You taking swings all day at ugly. Me ugly, Brady, I say you've got ugly hair and you're like Fabio all the time.

[B]

Yes. You are not good.

[A]

That hair's horrible.

[B]

Small ears.

[A]

Okay. Yeah.

[B]

And you don't hear body.

[A]

Where, when, when?

[B]

For about 50 years of my.

[A]

Yeah, I see pictures of you with the cowboys. You were a buffet machine. You're not muscular, you're just big.

[B]

8% body fat. Johnny, no.

[A]

And what half.

[B]

Are you kidding me?

[A]

No. 8% body fat at birth.

[B]

I mean, seriously, the envy is just palatable.

[A]

Palpable.

[B]

I know.

[A]

Palatable. Also palatable. It would work them both anyway. Dale, be nice. I'm trying. You started by taking swings.

[B]

No.

[A]

Any man takes a swing at my sperm, I'm gonna. I'm gonna start sh. Shooting back, so to speak. You and I just blown away that you honestly think that even your son in law.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

When we were talking and first thing we're golfing and he goes, this guy thinks that in a room of a thousand. I'm like, he's told you this story too? And his. Your son in law doesn't believe in a room of a thousand nine hundred.

[B]

Sixty two is for the final count.

[A]

Of women that would turn only 38.

[C]

He did it last week.

[A]

Only 38.

[B]

And those are the one with eyesight problems in their 60s.

[A]

Hey, you're ridiculous.

[B]

You're ridiculous. All right, talk to print stuff because you only print out the best listeners.

[A]

There aren't.

[B]

There's no good. I'm printing everything.

[A]

This says, hey, Noseberg, tell Lenny from Of Mice and Men that he doesn't compare to the Greek God that is Brady kidneys McGee bogan. That is a fact.

[B]

Brady and I stand in a room together. We're both in our 60s.

[A]

Oh, for Christ's sake.

[B]

And every setting apart, you gotta be with one of them. How many do you think are choosing me and how many you think are choosing the.

[A]

Do they get to talk to you for a few seconds?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Or is it just pure visual?

[C]

Is it just silent? Or is it.

[A]

Cause right now I'm looking at two dudes. One says, at least. His shirt literally says, at least. I'm not a loser with two kidneys. I look over to my other eye option and his shirt says, you can't tell me what to do. You're not my grandkids. You two think you're the pick of the litter. And I know, Brady's not even in on this. I shouldn't even be banging on you. But come on. You two are walking around with those Walmart best granddad shirts on.

[C]

It was a gift.

[A]

Yeah. There is no getting laid if the 90 year olds come in the room.

[B]

I'm just. I'm not talking about that. Just saying. Show an interest, Johnny.

[A]

Nobody's gonna be.

[B]

This is.

[A]

This is an ongoing nightmare.

[B]

Do you have any female listeners? Yeah.

[A]

And they are all repulsed by you. They ran when you came into their village.

[B]

Come on, there's gotta be one out.

[A]

There's. They're out there and we have one.

[B]

Google me and say. Google me and say they Google you.

[A]

They're gonna be looking at a picture that's 40 years old. Here's a woman that says, if choices are Brady or Dale, I'm choosing to eat a gun. Well, that's not nice, but I don't disagree with it. No. Shammery. That's a sexy name.

[B]

It really is. Jam Reeve. Show, show. Send us a picture of you eat a gun.

[A]

Yeah. She didn't even talk about the bullet. She would eat a whole gun and then let it just ruin her as she swallowed it, wreck her digestive tract and just try to poop out an ak. Terrifying. Anyway, let's get right into why you're here. Dale's here for sports talk and he's already ruined that. But Dale. Oh, and we gotta take a break. We're gonna take a break. We'll take a break. We'll be back with more. We'll be back to introduce all the time. We gotta take a break and we'll introduce Dale. And his sperm will be here after the break. It's 98.

[B]

Holmberg's morning sickness.

[A]

All right. Brought to you by Diamond Coatings AZ.com It's Dale Hellas race time here on the show on Thursday. Sports. Football season's upon us. Why not ask somebody who played football? But after that last conversation, although you did admit off the air that when you noticed that your daughter started to take on your traits when she was about two, you prayed to the Lord above that take this curse off of my daughter's face.

[B]

I would not want her to look like me any more than the man in the moon. But I gave her. I gave her the five foot ten.

[A]

You gave her height. And she grew out of that horrific.

[B]

Face phase, no doubt about it.

[A]

Which is good.

[B]

None of us would want a dog. I certainly hope that your daughter doesn't look like you.

[C]

She does.

[A]

No, I don't it's tragic. Why did you bring it up?

[C]

I think she looks more like Ronnie.

[A]

She has more feminine traits and looks more like Ronnie.

[B]

Okay. I mean, if there's any question. That's scary.

[A]

Yeah. You don't want any of those traits on. Yeah. And that's the reason I did not have.

[C]

I don't want to have the physical attributes, you know, the looks. I'm okay with your looks. Yeah.

[A]

No, the body. Nope, you're wrong again. None of what you offer physically to a girl is good. Except for your height. That's a good feminine height. That's it. If you handed over your 5, 7.

[B]

5 is good for a woman.

[A]

It's a little short, but I mean, with Ronnie being 5 8, it probably would have bounced out to a 5, 6, 5, 7.

[B]

So your wife's taller than you?

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

That was the rule of the hell stray house.

[A]

Can't do it.

[B]

No. You can't date somebody shorter than you.

[A]

Mine is. You keep. I would never date a girl who could block my shot. That was. That's a good rule.

[C]

That's why you go six, five, six, seven on a woman. Still couldn't block my shots because they.

[A]

Were busy stealing the ball from you. You never got a shot off. You always had to pass because you knew when their arms went up. Why?

[B]

I just always. I always told him, I said, you do not want ever to bend over to kiss a guy.

[A]

No. That's weird.

[B]

You know, I mean, come on.

[A]

Yeah. My friend Scott Haynes is 5 3. I know. His wife's good size, too. She's a normal sized lady.

[B]

Five three.

[A]

Yeah, I know. Still a man. I know it's hard to believe.

[B]

He's really. He's a whole man. No, not at all.

[A]

But I said that to somebody just recently. Like, why didn't you want kids? I'm like, do you hate them? I'm like, no, I don't hate kids. A, I don't want them around much. Kind of selfish. And B, I could never imagine putting this face on A, on a female.

[B]

No.

[A]

It would be unfair.

[B]

John, sometimes you say smart things.

[A]

I couldn't imagine putting someone through this.

[B]

Could you imagine that?

[A]

No.

[B]

Get somebody with that schnoz.

[A]

Terrible. And the girl and trying to blow a guy. I mean, that's not the girl I'm gonna put on this planet banging that nose. I know how hard it feels terrible for me to bump my own nose now. She's got to do it 30 or 40 times in a row. That's why I didn't have children.

[B]

That's only reason why.

[A]

I did. I did it for all mankind. I did it for future oral.

[B]

You're a giver.

[A]

I am a giver.

[B]

That's your middle name.

[A]

Thank you. John the Giver. If I was in the Bible, that's what that is. John the Giver. My daughter would have been called the giver too, but for different reasons. She would have to overachieve.

[B]

Would she have been bad girl?

[A]

I don't know. I wouldn't have.

[C]

Oh the fight after would have had.

[A]

With her one or two years. I wouldn't have known her out of Toledo's dad that situation. I got stuff to do. Let's talk about football first. I want to talk about quickly. We went over it this morning. The Kyler Murray thing with the dog. His apology wasn't enough. It was terrible actually. And you know, he acted like he didn't really know he was. He's in knee high leather boots at a photo shoot with his Michael Vick jacket on, acting like he's just lounging around the house having professional photographs done.

[B]

Oh, was this. I thought it was just a casual picture.

[A]

No, it's posed. It's posed. There's a couple of. He's walking away and he's got the Vic 7 on there. And then of course this beautiful pit bull, one of the prettiest pit bulls I've ever seen is in the picture. And that's just, that's like being, you know, if a guy was standing there at a woman's or you know, like a murdered family's house and he's wearing an Aaron Hernandez jersey, it's like we don't do that.

[B]

We don't. And if he's not smart enough, if it's a professional.

[A]

That's posed.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Come on. That's, that's, you don't. You know, he's in his, his shoes and his.

[B]

Somebody should have, somebody should have told him. But right at the same time before all that came out, Kyler Murray was in high school and I'm sure he modeled his game after Michael, which is fine and, and, and all that.

[A]

But acting like you didn't know what happened to your idol. Come on. O.J. simpson was a great player. Nobody's walking into the stadium. Where's the idol of many people too. Back in the day, Aaron Hernandez was a great tight end, better than Gronkowski. People forget that Gronk. Gronk was his backup for a reason. And eventually Gronk came around. But Aaron Hernandez would have had that.

[B]

It Was unbelievable.

[A]

You don't wear Aaron Hernandez's jerseys and photo shoots and say, oh, he was my favorite player growing up.

[B]

Especially when you're around a family or.

[A]

Right, right, Exactly. You don't tell some kid, you should have seen this guy play. He's like, well, I'll look him up on Google. Do that.

[B]

Get a hell of straight jersey.

[A]

Yeah. There's no harm in that. No one will ever remember what you're doing.

[B]

That's not very nice.

[A]

It's true.

[B]

So you.

[A]

So you think the Cardinals should do some sort of a statement? I think.

[B]

Here's the thing.

[A]

He's the face of the franchise.

[C]

Didn't they put out.

[A]

No, he did his little. Answer that question.

[B]

Here's the thing that I do struggle with in all honesty is the. Is measuring apologies. And I. I don't. The color Murray's fresh in our mind just happened yesterday. Whatever. But I don't know if there's ever been an apology that is acceptable to everybody.

[A]

It's not.

[B]

You're gonna judge it. You're gonna. I don't know if he really.

[C]

I don't buy.

[B]

Yeah, I don't buy. Whatever. The thing about this with Kyler Murray is that if this was a one off.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, if this is the only time that you would ever question him. There's no. Hey. In your contract. We're gonna have to put a. You got a study thing. And there wasn't other things that.

[A]

The video game deal.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And calling the Cowboys ass. Remember that? Cowboys are ass. Like, you don't do this. You're a problem.

[B]

And I think, no, I won't even go there. But let's move on.

[A]

But check the resume is what I'm saying.

[B]

Yeah. Because he has a history of making not smart decisions, but also he's done.

[A]

Nothing to earn this. On the Cowboys. If Troy Aikman did something, you'd take his apology and be like, all right, Troy's got no history. This is dumb. But move on. If. If I don't know Daryl Johnston did this, there's a good chance it'd be like, he's not going to be on this team anymore. You're. You're mucking it up for us.

[B]

Not Darryl Johnston.

[A]

He might be too high.

[B]

How about Dale Hell?

[A]

Dale Hellestra does it. You're out.

[B]

You're gone.

[A]

That was no question. They were looking for a reason to ice you, Mark. Two and a. Maybe something like that. Somewhere down the line where you're like, really, Mark? Like this thing we're building, we're trying to do and you're going to do this and you're the face of the team.

[B]

Well, that's. And that is the thing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You get. That's why you whether it's Trump, whether it's him. What have somebody check your stuff before you send it out.

[A]

That's a fact. Like have a team. And somebody shooting that photo shoot was like in agreement that like hey, maybe we shouldn't be doing this.

[B]

Right.

[A]

No. He had people in his little bubble. He thought he was going to be cool anyway that we terrible. Second thing I want to talk about is the Dallas Cowboys had probably the most entertaining football game in a long time as far as for them. I think the best game of the year has already happened with the Bills and Ravens.

[B]

That was hard to beat.

[A]

Last week was pretty fun to watch the Giants and Cowboys. In the end, I'm not sure it's going to matter for either team as far as probably not down the road. This is two awesome teams that it was a fun competitive game. Problem I'm having and you as a former special teams guy are watching these 65 yard kicks go through week in and week out now. And the special kicking ball along with the dynamic kickoff means if you let the ball go out of the end zone, you get it on the 35, it's 15 yards to a tie game.

[B]

With the field goal kickers. You're. And again, I don't really understand where Brady raised his hand.

[A]

I know. I saw that.

[C]

Very polite question on the kicking ball.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You know, reading about it, it's inflated more.

[B]

Yeah. It's heavy.

[C]

Could they inflate it back then more if they wanted?

[B]

No, but what I was gonna say different.

[A]

It's a different ball. They can rough it up.

[C]

They rough it up.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So. So, so what's so fascinating about don't they smooth. They smooth it out is I I didn't realize that they had put a new kicking ball into play this year. Yeah. When I first came into the league, it was banging balls against the wall, put them in the dryer, making them very mushy so they could go further.

[C]

And also so the kicking balls, they don't rough it. So the holder, they inflate it more.

[A]

Could but the size, it's an easier.

[B]

Ball to catch and throw. But then somewhere around the early 90s, mid-90s, they brought in what they call the K ball.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Which is 12 balls out of a box.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Which they don't fly as much as a used or war because guys were getting into the 50 yard range. It was pretty comfortable for people and they didn't want to see that. I told you the super bowl story where they didn't tell us, well, what happens to the footballs. But for the first hundred plays, it's a brand new ball of a box every play because they want 100 used Super bowl balls to auction off or whatever. And so when you look at it that way, the balls didn't fly as far. I think it's a combination of, I mean, this Aubrey kid, he swings his leg like a professional golfer.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And you go, there's no way that ball could go 330 yards. No, but it does.

[A]

But like, like our guy Chris Boswell. Bosworth for the Steelers.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

He was good from 50. Yeah. Now he's 60 plus and it's not a question.

[B]

And 50 yard is like what it used to be. 40 yards.

[A]

40 is like a chip shot.

[B]

Yeah. It's like it was an extra point.

[A]

Yeah. It's already eight yards. But this, this can't be. This is going to change. Gambling is going to change the outcome of games. Because before when you were down two.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you got the kickoff, you got it.

[B]

You had to get down to the 30 yard line to have a legitimate shot.

[A]

And it was more fun to watch rather than watching some guy who gets to get it to midfield.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you got a shot, a play. So if there's 19 seconds left, you've got two plays to get to the 45.

[B]

Yeah. And they take a shot. Be about 85, 90%.

[A]

Yeah. These guys are crushing 60 yards. Do you think this continues? Do you think they're going to alter this? Because I think it's too much.

[B]

I have a feeling that they're going to do something with the kicking ball.

[A]

Yeah. I think they want a 70 yard kick and then they're going to go back. Because I think right now that kick that, that Aubrey hit was good from.

[B]

Had another eight yards.

[A]

And then you had the Boss Boswell kick a few weeks ago was 60, was it 64, 63 or something? No, 60. And it cleared by 10 past week. So I just, I'm looking at that and I'm like, well, this takes the competitive fun.

[B]

But what's fascinating because I don't ever go there, but like, like you brought it up and it's true, the gambling aspect of it, you know, and, and, and to see, to see a guy be able to. You get to midfield and you got a legitimate shot to kick a field goal.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And if you're Kicking off and you get the ball at 35 yard line means you complete two 8 yard passes.

[A]

And you can attempt a field goal and there's nothing. Instead of trying to get like you said to the 30 when you used to have to start on the 20.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So it's real easy to just do kickoff out of the end zone. And this team's got to go, you know, they've got to go 50 yards.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

More on a two minute offense.

[C]

But if you're the NFL and you're looking at it and the way the, the kickoff deal set up more overtime games, more, you know, high scores. Yeah. They want, they want and the biggest thing they'll say is protection of. You can still do the kickoff.

[A]

Yeah, but we're not talking about the kickoffs.

[C]

Collisions. Yeah, but so what about kickoff players.

[A]

Talking about the extra points in the field. They're not care about protection on a field.

[B]

It's a little bit like baseball. I know you're a big baseball guy. Very few people like a one nothing pitching gem. I love it. I know you're a baseball guy, but that the average dude wants the 8, 7 exciting some runs scored in football. The Buffalo Baltimore game, the Dallas New York game. Those are exciting, Fun filled games 16 to 7.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Defensive Battle doesn't really catch everybody's attention.

[A]

There's a lot of like just nothingness that's just mashing into this. Yeah, I get, I get why people want 38, 35.

[B]

Right. But I look those feel the NBA.

[A]

The NBA has the same problem. They got so crazy about threes. The whole game became a three point shooting contest. And now 131 to 128 means nothing.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And it's boring.

[B]

You're watching defense, you can't. No, somebody can't breathe.

[A]

Everybody's shooting 35% so you're missing six out of 10 shots. But fans lose.

[C]

It'd be curious to know three weeks into it, what is the percentage? Because there's been a lot of misses still.

[B]

There's some misses, but I wonder if you're talking about way up the 60, 65 yard field goal is more attainable.

[A]

Would you try it?

[B]

Talk about it? You used to go, gosh, if we do this, what can happen now? It's like, no, run them out.

[A]

Make this Denver was the only place you thought about.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And if you ran it out there as a coach, there's a chance you'd lose your job. Kicking over 60 yards just to go back.

[B]

It was, it was late or I guess 1990 Buffalo Bill. Scott Norwood, he's a Pro bowl kicker.

[A]

I remember him.

[B]

Yeah. And, and I knew on the grass if he's between 48 and 52, he was iffy. Okay, 45 yards. It's in his head. 45 yards. Almost automatic.

[C]

And there's still some chances.

[B]

And the Buffalo Bills didn't run one more play. And Marv Levy knew this and Jim Kelly knew this. It was a well known thing. And they didn't run one more play to try and gain three or four yards.

[A]

That would change his brain.

[B]

His brain.

[A]

Oh, boy.

[B]

You can argue. Hey, is that ridiculous?

[A]

Yes, probably. But.

[B]

But you knew it is.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, it's like the, the quarterback rule. Hey, you can't hit the quarterback in the head. You can't. You can argue. I don't like the rule. But it's the rule. But it is the rule. So you're right. On the field goals, the field goal thing changes everything.

[A]

Changes gambling changes the competitive spirit of it. It changes the ends of games to be less exciting. Although that was fun until you realize the Giants stopped him and the guy hits a 60 something yard because the ball's different. It wouldn't have happened in any other season.

[C]

I don't know if the ball is more generous.

[A]

It's proven.

[C]

I mean, as far as going further. But the accuracy.

[A]

But these guys are deadly accurate and you give them something that's a little bit more spin and a little bit heavier, the accuracy is going to come with that.

[B]

Watch next time you see Aubrey kick a ball.

[A]

Oh, it's weird. It's a sweep.

[B]

It looks like he's kicking a 10 yard field.

[A]

Their kickoffs now.

[B]

Yeah. Yes.

[A]

Are. They're. They're just kind of chunking at it. And that thing goes all the way to the goal line. It's like, man, these guys are. They said they're great. It's the ball plus.

[B]

Yeah. Yes.

[A]

And I think there's truth to that. All right, we're going to take another break. We're going to get your picks and then we're going to do the entertainment drill. You were great today, Dale.

[B]

Was I?

[A]

I think you were. It's 90th KUPD, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.