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Alex
You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.
John Holmberg
Hey, everybody, it's John Holmberg from the Morning Sickness talking to Shane Orlando from Orlando Auto Body. Now, Shane, I take great pride in saying I stand with someone when I tell a listener to go to their shop. I know why. You tell me what's different for a KUPD listener to go to Orlando Auto Body than anywhere else? Well, first of all, we've been in the valley here for over 34 years. We do a quality job. We work for you, not the insurance companies.
Alex
So we can work together to make.
John Holmberg
Sure your listeners are getting the customer service they deserve. If your car's been wrecked and you need that thing fixed the right way, get on over there now.
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John Holmberg
Go go.
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John Holmberg
You thought that was funny?
Audible Announcer
You were laughing like a hyena when he said it.
John Holmberg
What the hell is wrong with you? PT Good morning everybody. Lowther. Welcome to Friday. It is 5:45. My name's John. There's Brady, there's Brett, there's Big Dick Toledo. And we're off and running here for a glorious day. Post rain. This city knows when it's going to be on tv. I'm convinced of it. It always has A nice little wash the air kind of moment when we have a big showing. The super bowl always has a little drizzle the week of. Then all the smog leaves and then the cameras show up and go, what a beautiful town. And frankly, I think that sucks because it drags dummies in. We talked about this. With the Phoenix open, there is one thing I need. Once again, I'm calling on all of you, Maryvale, South Phoenix. Let's get those horns going and start driving around, getting on the news and doing that. Hillbillies and AJ Drive around and make everybody that sees this beautiful town think that we're all a bunch of lunatic hillbillies and border crossers and scare them away because we are going. Look, normally I avoid the State Farm Stadium on Sundays because of the Cardinals. You couldn't pay me enough to go there this weekend. And I know it's for a nice thing, the Memorial, but that is a gigantic target with a. An unprecedented amount of people that are going to try to get into that State Farm Stadium Sunday.
Emily
Well, and then what about the people that don't want people going in there?
John Holmberg
Well, that's what I'm talking about. It's a giant target. There's gonna be a hundred thousand anticipated people. That sounds nice when you think about, oh, I don't know, everyone being on the same page, but about 10 to 15,000 of those people are gonna be outside causing trouble and a ruckus and protesters and jackasses and maybe even paid by some other organization. If you're one of those people that believes in that. And there's a reason why Trump just made Antifa a terrorist group. They're gonna be blamed for anything that goes wrong this Sunday. You couldn't drag me over to that thing. I can do my morning at home for people that I think were wrongly taken out. And I most certainly think that. But remember, Brett, about a week and a week and a day ago, a brilliant young philosopher was on the radio. Where was that? Oh, it was here. Here at 98KUPD. And what did I say? We could probably get along for two days. History has my guide. We can probably agree that this is all bad for two days, but give it a week and we'll be at each other's throats again. Well, I was off by a day. I was gonna say, did we get to two?
Alex
I don't remember.
John Holmberg
Didn't we got to about 30 hours. All right, and then everything went sideways, and then everything went crazy. Within the week, we have a complete and utter inability to get along in any situations. That should be kind of like a cleansing, the sorbet of our world. We should all take a little bite of that orange ice cream, cleanse our palates and go, We've all kind of lost the plot. I'm guilty of it. You're guilty of it. Let's take a step back. We're incapable. All of a sudden. We're arguing that Jimmy Kimmel and the fcc, and there's an argument to be made, but that's the next move we make within a week because of this thing. It's out of control. And that, man, I'm telling you, if I lived over in that area, there's a good chance I'd Airbnb something in Scottsdale for the weekend. I'm getting the hell out of there. I Airbnb my place out there, too. I take all my clothes and anything I care about and I get it out and I'm renting it and I'm going over to another place because this is going to be nuts. Hopefully, I'm wildly wrong. I don't think anything bad will happen, but, man, it's not going to be worth the hassle of driving through. Some guy on one side is going to see another guy on another side with a sign. I talked to a dude yesterday who's 82, I think 80 or 82, I don't know, a friend of my dad's, long time ago. And I had a chat with. Ran into him, chatting with him. We were talking about. He said, all right, because nobody has anything to talk about. What do you think of what's going on? I'm like, that's nuts. Nuts, right? He's earned radio and the FCC deal. And I'm like, yeah, it's. It's a. It's a slippery area. And I'm not real sure I agree with how it's being handled, especially with the FCC dude going on radio shows yesterday, telling everybody, you know, the views next, keeping an eye on those ladies. And as much as I don't care for the women on the View, don't. The FCC is not a punching thing. It reacts. It doesn't. It's not an offensive. It's a defensive, and it has to react in a certain way. So he's talking and he goes, I remember when I was a kid, my whole town started to celebrate the day Martin Luther King got shot. And I'm like, no kidding? And I started to think, can you imagine with social media what would have happened to this country when Martin Luther King Got shot. If the news didn't control how this was presented and you got access to, you know, people in Tempe going, good, he's dead. And all this other stuff, this would have been.
Emily
It was already bad to report the celebrations going on.
John Holmberg
It wouldn't have been reported. It would have been in your feed. It would have been all. You'd have seen it. I watched a lady on Instagram yesterday talking to her kids and decided to post this on her Instagram that said, guess what? And these kids are like four and five. Guess what? The best news ever. Guess who's gone? And the little kid smiles and goes, donald Trump is dead. And mom laughs. No. Second best news. The vice president. No, Jesus Christ. Third best news. And then she goes, Elon Musk. And then the mom laughs and turns the camera on herself and just shakes her head like, can you believe how awesome my kids are? And I'm like, oh, my God, lady. Wow. You posted that? There's something wrong. There's tons wrong. But it's the one thing we have to do. And again, it's not different. The only thing that's different is how much, you know. The Insta, the Instagram, Facebook, Reddit, discord, all this stuff. It's. The stuff you know is different. Martin Luther King had plenty of people celebrating when he got shot. Poland. JFK had plenty of people celebrating when he got shot. Now you go to the memorial. Those people went to JFK's funeral. They weren't. They weren't sure of the groups if they thought everybody was in mourning together. The President had died, and. And maybe to a certain degree, they were better about it than we are. But now people are going over here Sunday with their dukes up, thinking, I see any of those jackasses protesting, I'm gonna do something about it. Now, you couldn't get me anywhere near State Farm Stadium this weekend.
Emily
Why can't it just go back to.
John Holmberg
Just 13, you know, colonies?
Emily
No, 13 to 20 people protesting like a soldier's funeral organization.
John Holmberg
Remember that? Them's the good old days.
Emily
Across the street have their banner.
John Holmberg
You're remembering out loud that glorious Westboro Baptist Church. They'd show up with God hates homo F word signs. Little kids reading the Bible and telling you you're going to hell because you say, those were the good old days when lunatics.
Emily
And look, I forgot about them.
John Holmberg
Their name, the Westboro Baptist Church. I remember them fondly now. They were the only ones you could drive by and go look at. These mother. Lunatics should be jailed anyway. Ah, well, they got overrun by society being weirder than them. Somehow or another, they got out nutballed I and I, or they changed their name.
Emily
And now that's why it's so big.
John Holmberg
Now it's called the Catholic Church. And it just doesn't make sense to me that you could out nutball the Westboro Baptist Church to where they're like, well, we're useless now. They didn't even ramp it up. They had the decency to go, well, never mind.
Alex
I forgot about them until you just mentioned it, because everything's been so crazy since.
John Holmberg
They had those girls that would sing songs about how great Hitler was, and.
Emily
They cross the street.
John Holmberg
From any time a funeral for a soldier would happen, those wretched, horrible human beings would be outside. And now I'm like, God, I wish that was all there was, that we recognized their loonies.
Emily
You never felt really threatened by that.
John Holmberg
Because they were just loud and on purpose. And now you really think the people who are loud and on purpose are also active? They'll fight you. They'll shoot you.
Emily
Hope they're on their meds.
John Holmberg
Yeah. When they're protesting. Yep. And that was the other thing Westboro Baptist was before everybody was on I can't handle my emotions medicine.
Emily
Yeah.
John Holmberg
And at a certain degree, a certain point, I think the Westboro Baptist people realized we'll get our asses kicked if we start throwing hands. We can just yell, and they'll yell back, and maybe somebody will get mad at us, but we'll. They were passive aggressive enough to know if somebody else threw the first stone, they were the victims. Despite the God hates homo F word signs at military funerals, they were horrible people. Horrible. But they were.
Emily
I think they. Maybe they gave up.
Alex
Remember when the Foo Fighters played.
John Holmberg
Played at the West Baptist?
Alex
Yes.
John Holmberg
Ye. That was our protest back when we were sort of normal. This one says, thank God for dead soldiers. Yeah. They dressed up like hillbillies and they played for them God hates homo f words. There it was. And they wrote horrible songs and sang it at the Westboro Baptist people. And they cheered like, oh, they're for us. And then they realized shortly after they were being made fun of by the foo. Yeah. Pretty bad. Yeah. Somebody in the back had a sign said, foo you. It was a. It was a better time when that's all we had. But now I don't even know what to trust. And that's the sad part, is because, you know, there are certain people who probably would want to go. I wouldn't want to go to that and also there's too many figureheads there that make one lunatic want to do something silly. And the next thing you know, I'm getting hit with something by a guy who was aiming at a JD Vance or. I'm not, I'm not rooting for any of that. I'm just saying that in my head, I can't imagine that something stupid won't happen outside of that gigantic. They said on the news last night they were expecting 90 to 115,000 people out there at the stadium. Hopefully they're overestimating because the thing holds 65 the price 75 the great lawn will have. And that's what I'm saying. We got this nice rain last night. The sky's going to look beautiful. It's going to be. It's going to look gorgeous. And that we're gonna look like lunatics on tv. It's just. It's gonna be crazy. So please, for God's sakes, all. And I know it's a tough time right now, but just drive around and draw in the ice. Hillbillies. We need you. Need you more than ever. Make our city look stupid this weekend, Please, without violence, almost sickness.
Dick Tolito
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John Holmberg
H-E-L-P.com Holmberg Holmberg's morning sickness Just make people in Buffalo look at it and go, that place is just a loony bin filled with Mexicans and hillbillies.
Alex
If anybody can do it, the west side can do it.
John Holmberg
West side. We're counting on you.
Alex
Damn right. Come on, Alex.
John Holmberg
You always embarrass us. This is the big weekend. This is your big chance. West Valley. Pull your pants down and walk around for no reason at all. Do what? Let's go. Full 27th Avenue for the cameras. Can we. Can we just make everybody think the place sucks? Cause it's gonna look spectacular on television after this beautiful rain. The sun's gonna be out. It's gonna be nuts. It's gonna be crazy. So have fun if you want to go. This guy says, I work for Southwest Gas, and some of us are having to work on Sunday on standby in case some loonies do anything. Oh, they're already talking about cutting gas lines. Jesus Christ. I've made the right choice before even making a choice.
Emily
Yeah, thanks for that. You could have kept that to yourself.
John Holmberg
Yeah, it was. No, he couldn't have. Just. Just remind people that it's just. Yeah, man, oh, man. It is a. It's a thing. But it's going to happen this weekend, and, you know, I'm going to start calling myself John A. Stadtle. Because last week, when I was just basically like, gosh, I'd sure love it if we could. We could take a tragedy at one point in our lives and say, you know, we're. We're better than this. And we actually do that. But it took us 30 hours. Brett's right. I said two days, which makes. Makes Baba Wenga and me a little bit the same. Just a little off of my prediction of we'll have two days and then. And then we'll start fighting again. And it was. It was 30 hours. We started fighting, and then within 72 hours, the place had gone completely haywire. And I don't understand. And it is social media's fault. We. It would have happened in the Kennedy days, too, when Kennedy took a poke. And then if we had social media back then, it would have been a nice nightmare of people celebrating that. Because you forget Kennedy, Nixon in 1960. A stolen election. That's been proven. It was like 5149 tight, divided country looking at two new wars, had all sorts of stuff. Kennedy wasn't exactly the most beloved 90 percenter. Like, he was a half president. The country, half of them hated him. And. And you got Brett's people that got him in there, and he turned on him. So then Brett's people were like, oh, this guy right here. Now you got the mobs mad, the politics are mad. Everybody's shutting down the CIA mad. He was very Trump.
Alex
How he won Chicago.
John Holmberg
Kennedy was very Trump. I want to thank you for getting me elected there mob. Now I'm also going to try to dismantle you from the inside with my brother. And they're like no you're not. Also while I'm at it, goodbye CIA. It's the. It was very Trumpy. And I'm going to hammer every girl that comes in this White House. Let's get started.
Alex
Well that was the Clinton esque part.
John Holmberg
Well it was also Trump. Trump. Look, and if Trump wasn't 80.
Alex
No, I mean while he's in is for sure.
John Holmberg
Yeah. I mean he had Secret Service agents who were keeping an eye on Jackie and where she was. So if he was hammering a chicken. Now keep in mind Kenward heads up. Here's the thing about Kennedy no one pays attention to or no one ever brings up in history. And it's very true. He could barely walk. His back was so twisted and bad. That dude could barely walk. It was just for government functions and speeches to make him look strong. FDR was very similar in that regard except for he got so bad that he actually stopped being able to. But they would stand him up and prop him up for things every once in a while. You never saw him walking because it was a catastrophe. Plop him down in that chair and wheel him out. Kennedy wasn't far off.
Alex
Oh they chaired him around the White House and stuff.
John Holmberg
Oh, I didn't know that. But when there was young in the White House Kennedy was. I'll stand up for this. In fact look at me, I'm standing in two spots.
Emily
Energized.
John Holmberg
He was. Yeah, he was the only time his the cure for his spinal injury was you know the plank a piece of ass 25 year old intern that would roll in. Never made a big deal out of that lady's book that said she lost her virginity to Kennedy in the White House pool. And while he was boning her Secret Service came in and said I forgot her code name. Codename Eagle. Pink Eagle is in the house. Pink Eagle is back. I have to get rid of you hands this naked lady to his brother and he finishes off her virginity.
Emily
I thought it was. It was in the keeping the family Palm Desert. Wasn't it at the Sinatra's house.
John Holmberg
I just know they were. There's plenty of called plenty of times I got a meeting plenty of times where he had the Pink Eagle show up. I did not expect this to happen. You've got to finish off this girl's cherry I'm about halfway through digging the sides out of this cherry, but I gotta go, Jackie. His brother's like, okay, I'll get hard for that. Those two were crooked as hell, but nobody remembers it. And had we had social media back then, that presidency would have ended in an impeachment, no question. Instead, he's on money. That's how much better it was without social media. We got completely bamboozled by what he really was. Until later.
Emily
Yeah. Imagine that election now.
John Holmberg
Please.
Emily
Happening.
John Holmberg
Oh, Nixon.
Emily
You think there weren't recounting and all that.
John Holmberg
Nixon was Alex Jones. He thought everyone was after him. He would. If he had the power of the Internet. That would have been. He would have been Trump first. He'd have been tweeting out silly memes and stuff about what Kennedy's doing and diving into illegal rooms and stealing stuff from the elections. Nothing's different, except we know more. And the one thing that you used to do that made this.
Emily
Made it maybe a little bit harder for them to.
John Holmberg
Well, we were just naive. That's the whole purpose, is to keep us uninformed. Now, there's an argument to be made that more informed populace is probably better off, but we don't know how to react to it. As proof for the last seven days and what I assume will be an annoying weekend, please, please.
Emily
The gas company with crew standby. Can we have someone on the streaming and Internet side? Because if they cut into the football.
John Holmberg
Oh, if you screw up. YouTube.
Emily
Yeah.
John Holmberg
You thought you had a problem with this, you know, with some of these protesters.
Emily
Need crew standing by on that.
John Holmberg
We need. Yeah. If you do something to scramble service. Yeah. There's going to be a problem. You'll hear a lot more of. Yeah. It's going to be a whole free. Please. I say it for the Phoenix Open, which always looks amazing on television. We need all of you. And I know if I was Mexican right now, I know this is a tough call because the ICE stuff and things like that, you don't really want to start screaming. I'm. I'm wildly Mexican right now, especially over there. But if you show, like, Alabama and Mississippi and New York and West Virginia and all those people that are thinking about leaving and they're looking at Texas and Florida and Arizona as options, and California, if California's looking for it and we. We throw them one of these deals, oh, man, they'll stay. And that's exactly what we want them to do. Because the ones who are watching Fox News this weekend are gonna get treated to some beautiful footage of our town. Cause it's pretty. We live in paradise. I used to want this city to be like 20 million strong. No, we're full up, baby. We probably got 8 or 900,000. I now understand why, as I was growing up in this town, this was a cow town, a bootleg. This was a nothing city. Eight or nine hundred thousand people in the eighties, max. And every time it was. You were here every time in the 80s. And I remember not being a politically active kid, but paying attention, kid. We had something called the Rio Salado Salado project in the 80s, which was a giant wagon wheel across the entire town with spokes that led to the downtown of train tracks for mass transit. Trains. Remember this? And it kept, like being like the everybody's. This is the best thing that's ever happened to a city that's growing. Like they're getting so far ahead of it and constantly voted down. The old people are like, nope. So then we turned to, how about freeways? Absolutely not. You're going to turn us into la. And I'm like, these old people, they hate progress. They don't want to be a big city. They were right. Like, you build freeways and people show up. They realized way back in the day how beautiful this town was. And the bigger it.
Emily
Let's make some money.
John Holmberg
The bigger it got, the more weirdos showed up and they're like, no, no, no. We'll be fine as is. I don't mind looking at north of Camelback Mountain and seeing nothing but dirt. But no, look at us. Look what we did. We made it even better. Now this is it. We have to cut it off and you guys have to do it. You know who I'm talking about. Hey, Indians. I think right now we should have Native American Free Budweiser day for Saturday and Sunday and just let them have at it. And Desert diamond is not far from. And just have the cameras occasionally catch a few. Look, by the way, just this just in. Slayer live. Sunday afternoon on the Great Lawn, one o'. Clock. Slayer live. Beer is free. He'll scare away all the Easterners and Californians if you just start standing outside. Slayer. Budweiser. We'd be like, yes. Yes. Yes. Louder. The Californians will hate this. Yeah. It's a time that we have to make our city look terrible. And as that rain rolled through in the thunder last night, I just laid in bed going, it's gonna look gorgeous on tv. There's gonna be no smog. The air's gonna be perfect. Everything's gonna look clean. We need to call on the hillbillies and the Mexicans and the Indians again to scare off all the. All the whites that are thinking about moving in here with their ideas. Please. For God's sake, Maryvale. If you could start some gigantic, like, citywide wrestling match. If we could get footage of that, like just. The whole high school went crazy, just grappling, turned into a giant rat. King of people in Maryvale. And be like, this city's out of its mind. We're moving to Texas. Like, hooray. Austin loses. They're thinking about moving, all of them. And Chicago, New York. Oh, they're all thinking about leaving. And what's the first thing they do? I don't want to be hearing the violence of this city anymore. Where is it? Warm. Oh, boy, we're on that list.
Alex
59Th Avenue, Camelback. Just go right over there.
John Holmberg
Yeah. And for you eight real estate agents. Getting a little bit tired of you guys showing all these your job now. And I'm gonna talk to Hopkins about this later, although he does it a little differently. As you get. Somebody goes, we just moved here from Rochester, New York. Cause we're just tired of it, you know, when we wanted some warmth. First of all, we got some beautiful places to show you. Drive them right over to Maryville. This is about as good as it gets. This is. This is the nicest city. We've got Holmberg's morning sickness on tv. I've heard about Scottsdale. Jesus Christ. Scottsdale. No. That's filled with gang violence. And Gilbert's filled with goons.
Emily
Mythical city.
John Holmberg
Paradise Valley is a joke name. We made it a joke because it's. It's so the opposite. This is as good as we've got. It's called Maryvale. We're moving to Texas. Ah, sorry to hear that. Sorry to hear that. Get them out of here. Real estate agents. I know you're looking for your dollar.
Alex
Just this weekend. Calm it down.
John Holmberg
Real estate agents. Yeah. When they're in town for the big thing, you know, this place is gorgeous. They're gonna fly in and look at the skyline and the clean air and the blue skies and the 93. It's a little warm, but this isn't bad. I can deal with this. It's a dry heat.
Emily
We need to rename our town Iceland. Way back when.
John Holmberg
Too much irony there. I. As long as we include the periods Iceland. But no, because then that'll draw in all of the. The hillbillies will come running over. No, I don't want to go. Yeah, it'll be like a bunch of General Lees and people with granny on the top of the car. We need to name this place Closed for business. We'll deal with it from the outside. The island of Phoenix, we should call it.
Alex
So you're saying build a wall around the state.
John Holmberg
Build a wall. Build a wall around the state. Yes. Well, around the city, not the state.
Alex
We don't.
John Holmberg
Yeah, we don't want Tucson included in this. You can have Tucson. This is where this should have happened. And it's down in Tucson. And it's a. You know, at its core, it's an actual beautiful thing that's going to happen this weekend and a bunch of people uniting, saying goodbye to someone who was assassinated and wrongfully so. And it could be nice, but it won't be because we're human. And the thing that'll wreck that is people who wreck things. And they're going to be out there and then our gorgeous town will have, you know, some sort of melee on its hands on the Great Lawn. I can't think. The Cardinals have a Thursday night game. That's why next week, right. So they're road and then they come home for their Thursday. Damn it. No one listens to me. And I'm always pretty much on the point on this one. I don't understand it anymore, but told you last week it'll take us a week before we hate each other again. I was wrong. By about. It was literally 30, 30 hours in. 30 hours late. I was. And then, you know, I didn't expect this to be the thing. And that FCC guy is pissing me off a little bit. He went on TV yesterday going, well, you know, if ABC didn't do anything about it, we were seriously considering fining abc. And then ABC made the decision and then they said. Then he goes on and says, I'm gonna think about going after the View. They should have an he's basically saying the View is now a news operation and they are held to the standards of news. What people don't realize is the FCC's two rules. You can make fun of comedy and be a comedy show and do all the political stuff you want and not be beholden to the one rule of equal time. But if you become based on source source of information, you become news. And when you start bashing somebody, you've got to equal time that group. And he's saying that's going to happen to the View. That's strong arming. You can't do it. That's not the. That's not the way it's supposed to work. If they're not breaking the rules that are set right now, you can't change. You can't move the goal posts. I don't like this at all. Not even a little bit. But of course, that's where we are. Seven days after a guy's head exploded on tv. Because we can't have that. We can't just sit back and be normal. I don't get it. This guy says send him to the new community, Verma Land, way out west. I don't know what that is, but I like the name of it. Is that a real thing? Yeah. What's Verma Land?
Emily
I don't know. I've just. I remember going by and.
John Holmberg
And you've driven past Verma Land. Yeah. Where is it? You think so, or you know? Are you doing. Are you doing ceiling tiles right now?
Emily
No, but I'm. Well, I'm doing ceiling tiles because I can't remember if it's west side or on the way to San Diego.
John Holmberg
That would be the west side as well.
Emily
Yeah. Southwest going down highway.
John Holmberg
Verma Land. Look up Verma Land. What the hell is that? Right now this guy says, don't use my name, but my wife works for the VA and they're preparing for possible mass casualty event. Oh, good. Well, at least we're prepared. That's what I'm happy about. Yeah, I'm not having any fun with the idea of this. And it could, you know, it's just a simple goodbye to someone. Can't you just leave it alone? Can't lunatics just leave it alone on both sides? Please. I want to get back to farting on stuff and puking at Brett's videos and having the time of my life. I don't want to have to sit there and worry about this. I put more on the hillbillies. At least that'll keep those wacky lefties away. Make us think that we're all crazy. Gun toting Yosemite Sams. And then they don't want to. They don't want to be around that. Now keep California. The taxes are just so high. I'm gonna take my ideas to Arizona. Turn on the television. Never mind. We're going to Texas. We have to make Texas look more normal. It's nuts. It's crazy. We read crazy stories every day. The news is always like, what is going on? This is. This is happening here in our city. So I got my fingers crossed that we behave. And I think we might. But the weirdos that are Flying in might not. God, Brady. You're right. I missed that. West Baptist. Westboro Baptist Church so much. Used to be as simple as about 25 people with terrible signs that we all knew were bad and just sit and stare at him going, you guys are out of your mind. What an abhorrent group. And all they wanted you to do was punch them. That's all they were trying to do, is just antagonize you to punch them and make them victims. And then they'd sue people who threw stuff at them or rocks or something. I miss, you know, I miss the PETA people that used to throw red paint on folks who wore fur. They were nuts, too.
Emily
They've been quiet, too.
John Holmberg
Well. Cause they got out crazy. They got out nutballed. And now nutballs are just normal, like everyday people are now nutballs. It used to be when you were a member of the Westboro Baptist Church, that's all you did. You didn't have a regular job sitting next to Brady. And then you find out, did you realize Emily was at the Westboro Baptist Church? Oh, my God. It was kind of quiet. Now everybody's wearing it on the outside.
Emily
Even if the gang from 24th street and Camelback trying to get better wages or, you know, used to protest there, that was fine. There's like 50 people maybe.
John Holmberg
And they'd have a sign that just said, shame on you, John McCain. And they're like, oh, yeah, that is shame on me. And that was what was supposed to make a politician go, jeez, I'm not doing a good job. Was a sign that just said, shame on you. I'll take that. Brian Spangler, who was removed from my Halloween event a couple years ago for being dressed up too much like an Indian chief to where making people uncomfortable. Plus, he was a little loud, just sent me a picture of it, said, I'm gonna dust off the gear. I'm gonna rally up. I'm gonna head down there and mix it up a little bit. That's what the tv an Indian chief losing his mind outside of the stadium. Not necessarily attacking people or anything, but just there. We need a bad reputation, God damn it. We need cameras in Tucson. Nobody wants to go there. It's insane. What's vermilion?
Alex
This guy just said, vermilion's a semi trailer turned billboard on the side of the town probably 20 miles west of town. Just what they call a chunk of land owned by who knows who. It's like preemptive naming of a community that's still 15 years from being Reached.
John Holmberg
Vermaland is just a goof. Okay, well, there it is, just a billboard. Brady almost pulled over to see if they've got any good taco shops. He remembers it. Vermaland. That sounds like they might have a good shop. It takes Brady about 18, 19 hours to get to San Diego with all the pull offs for the tacos. Not anymore though. Now it's just a straight shot. Pulls over for maybe a bottle of water and then he keeps going. And that's all you're allowed to have. No more. El Centro has the best.
Emily
Las Palmitas.
John Holmberg
No, terrible. It's El Centro. Nothing in El Centro is good. Nothing in El Centro is worth pulling over for. You're going to San Diego. I guarantee you there's a better restaurant in San Diego. Just wait the extra hour and a half. Why would you go to a big city like San Diego with a belly full of food from El Centro? Why? Why?
Emily
I just want to mess up the sewage there.
John Holmberg
You don't. You took a dump there that fast. No. El Centro. I know.
Emily
You finally get it to San Diego.
John Holmberg
And then you take a dump in San Diego. So you ruin the hotel room, you ruin your stomach, get to San Diego and then wreck the vacations first day by dropping El Centro loads in the shared bathroom.
Emily
Leave the resort.
John Holmberg
That's right. No, just your room. Caitlyn and Kirby had to sit through Brady's El Centro bomb. All right, that'll do it. We should probably get out of here. It's gonna be weird for a couple of days. Mr. Bogan, are you healthy? If you can believe it. Yeah, but that smell tells you otherwise, I think. Sorry. Caitlin. Hey, Caitlin. I like to sleep with my sheets off and I get those nocturnal erections, so just divert your eyes. We're sharing a room. This one says. I don't know if you guys remember seeing this, but years ago when they had a big freeze back east and then hurricanes, real estate people put billboards out there saying what the current weather in Phoenix, Arizona was. You sons of bitches. I hope you lost your license for that. That's out of your jurisdiction. Yeah, Joshua lives in Texas. He says don't send them here. There's an awful lot of demons and hellcats in my neighborhood. Like, all right, that will scare away the average frightened white. You see too many hellcats. The frightened white who doesn't like her city anymore. I was thinking about moving to Austin, but so many hellcats. Nice job, guys. And then to everybody, then you realize there's more unity racially in Austin because Even the black people like, we'll drive the Hellcats around. When you get these crazies in town.
Alex
Maybe we need to have all the Dodge dealers just bring all their Hellcats down.
John Holmberg
There it is. Spend a day with a Hellcat? Yeah. Dodge, we need you to get in on this. West Valley Dodge. Spend a day with a Hellcat and then you just go in and say hey man, I heard it was spend a day with a Hellcat. Yep. One rule though is you can't drive it anywhere. East Valley. It has to stay right up and down the the 101 by the stadium. I can do that. Yeah, only in the avenue. Stick it around here.
Emily
The RV expos they have.
John Holmberg
Yeah, yeah, there you go. And a Hellcat expo right next to this thing. So scared whites won't like what's going on in there. I didn't realize Arizona was so diverse and yeah, and by the way, spend a day with a Hellcat also includes car stereo. We're gonna just blow it up. And I want you to drive around with the latest Gunna song going. Those scared white women will leave in a heartbeat and we'll all high five afterwards. We'll get rid of them. Get rid of the white ladies from other cities. That's the plan this weekend. Last thing we aerial shots of this town this weekend after that beautiful rain. Trust me, they'll drag ass out here with their cruddy old furniture and crappy cars. Miserable ideas thinking they're getting a new start on our time. No to that, I simply say go home.
Alex
Maybe we should do a KUPD Hellcat giveaway.
John Holmberg
Yeah, we should change all of our digital cruises.
Alex
We'll give those away.
John Holmberg
Just line up right next to the stadium.
Alex
Oh man, this is brilliant.
John Holmberg
Get sales up here. Scare all the white women away. It's brilliant. Har will sell the hell out of that. I hear Gunna's gonna do a live free show at the at the Desert diamond arena right next door. If you guys want to line up. First come first serve. We're just trying to make white women leave. We gotta get on a plane and get on it. This nut house, I'm all for that city's gonna look beautiful. Let's get a wake up song, shall we? 585-9800. A good one and we'll scream it together. It's 98K video. Wake up. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.
Date: September 19, 2025
Host: John Holmberg with Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo, and Emily
Podcast: Holmberg’s Morning Sickness on 98KUPD (Arizona)
This episode centers on John Holmberg’s anxious, satirical take about the upcoming Kirk Memorial at State Farm Stadium, which expects to draw massive crowds and national attention. The hosts discuss the unease and potential risks of hosting such a highly charged event in Phoenix and—true to the show’s irreverent tone—riff on the best ways to discourage outsiders from falling in love with Arizona and deciding to move there. Throughout, the crew blends dark humor, pop culture references, local color, and societal critique while processing anxieties about safety, media spectacle, and Arizona’s booming growth.
Themes: Security concerns, crowd management, civic pride vs. dread
Themes: How information spreads, inability to hold unity, decay of discourse
Themes: Shifts in protest culture, nostalgia for "simpler" antagonists
Themes: Satire of civic pride, resisting “progress” and population growth
Themes: Urban expansion, “old timers” resisting newcomers
Themes: Political dysfunction, mistrust
Throughout, Holmberg and team blend sharp wit, dark satire, local pride, and a dose of real concern. The episode’s main message: Arizona is bracing for a national spotlight and the hosts—loving their city but wary of what attention brings—would just as soon it be portrayed as an uninviting madhouse, rather than a paradise for potential new residents. Underlying humor masks a deeper anxiety: the fear that unity is fleeting, anger is always lurking, and that the more things change, the more they stay the same.