Holmberg’s Morning Sickness 98 KUPD – Full Show Summary

Episode: 09-19-25 – Friday
Air Date: September 19, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Arizona’s #1 Morning Radio Show

Overview

This episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness dives headlong into the tense, bizarre, and absurd sides of Arizona life, politics, upcoming events, and the crew’s signature blend of irreverence and razor-sharp social commentary. With State Farm Stadium set to host a massive, emotional memorial (a backdrop for potential chaos), the show pivots between local color, national outrage, and the never-ending circus of American culture. There are riffs on the state of media, protests, nostalgia for when weird used to be manageable, and plenty of hysterical tales from the KUPD universe.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Arizona in the National Spotlight: Rain, Memorials, and Mass Paranoia

• [00:45] Holmberg observes that Phoenix seems to “wash itself off” ahead of televised events, cracking that the recent rain makes the city look nice just in time for the cameras, attracting “dummies” and unwanted newcomers.
• [01:30] Jokingly urges “West Valley hillbillies and South Phoenix border crossers” to crank up the chaos and scare off potential transplants, “drive around, pull your pants down” so that Arizona doesn’t grow any bigger than it already is.
• [03:10] Big concern about the weekend’s memorial at State Farm Stadium—citing the risk of “100,000 anticipated people” and the presence of agitators, protesters, and the city’s latent inability to get along, especially on the heels of a national tragedy.

“We could probably get along for two days … but give it a week, and we’ll be at each other’s throats again. Well, I was off by a day.” – John Holmberg [04:00]

2. Social Media, Outrage, and Nostalgia for Manageable Lunacy

• The team laments America’s inability to unify even momentarily after tragedies, with social media accelerating divisiveness and amplifying dark impulses.
• [06:45–09:30] Compare the virality and celebration of political assassinations today versus during the Kennedy or MLK era (“Can you imagine if social media existed when MLK was shot? [...] Now it’d be in your feed, all over Tempe, all over everywhere.” – Holmberg).
• Wax nostalgic for the days when the Westboro Baptist Church was the biggest fringe group around, bemoaning that even their brand of hateful lunacy seems quaint compared to modern protests.

“They got outnutballed. Society is way weirder than them now.” – Holmberg [09:10]

3. Political Turmoil, FCC Drama, and the Media Blitz

• A focus on recent FCC overreach: concerns about talk shows (from Kimmel to The View) being threatened with censorship or equal-time rules reclassification, critiquing the shifting goalposts of “what news is.”
• Storytime detours to the Kennedy era: claims that “Kennedy was Trump before Trump” both in polarization and scandal, and that “the only difference now is we know more, and don’t know what to do with it.” [13:10–18:11]
• [18:30] A running gag that as Phoenix looks prettier, the hosts hope the city’s weirdos will help scare off new arrivals ("We need to make Phoenix look crazy so people from Buffalo and California go, ‘No, thanks.’").

4. Real Estate, Gentrification & Suburban Gatekeeping

• Discussion on Phoenix’s massive recent growth, reminiscing about resistance to progress (trains, freeways), with old-timers being “right” about wanting to avoid becoming LA.
• Holmberg calls for real estate agents to lean into the negative and take potential new arrivals on “a tour of Maryvale,” joking that it’s the best way to cut down on inward migration. [23:00–24:00]

5. Pimp of the Year: Prison Corruption Scandal

• [48:30–57:00] News of a local corrections officer (Donna Leanne Harris) pimped out by an inmate, smuggling cell phones and drugs, handled with disbelief and dark comedy (“That’s … impressive. That’s a set of balls.”).
• Ongoing riff: The crew imagines their own hapless sales colleagues being coerced into similar schemes. (“Put this cell phone up your ass, Ed. You want to make money or not? I do so love money …”)

6. Parenting Anxieties, Teen Trends & Homecoming Fears

• [59:26] Discussion on “pheromone maxing”: dumb teenagers skipping showers, believing their musk will make them sex gods, inspired by social media “pheromone cologne” ads.
• The hosts discuss the terrors of parenthood, especially with teens heading to homecoming (“Chain her to the radiator!”), while Brady nervously tries to downplay his own daughter Kirby’s social plans.

“Most guys who smell spread disease … Any girl attracted to a swamp ass gets pregnant, leaves the baby with grandma.” – Holmberg [66:18]

7. Sports, Gambling, and the Dark Heart of Spectatorship

• Recap of the previous night’s NFL game ([37:00 onward]), betting talk with an undercurrent of suspicion about how Vegas “always knows.”
• Dark humor about watching football “for the chance Tua goes gang signs again,” underlining how violence and spectacle lure even reluctant viewers (“Now I watch the Dolphins in case Tua gets knocked out. It’s sad but true.”)

8. The Fireside Chat: Laughs in a Dark Hour

• Listener Kevin emails for a shout-out after his father’s passing. The show improvises a morbid but good-natured “laugh for Kevin’s family” segment, soliciting (and mostly butchering) dark jokes from callers [~1:12:30–1:27:00].
• Holmberg muses about the burden of being asked to make people laugh in grief, recounts “professional jackass” duty.

“My dad just died. Make me laugh. Here’s a video of a man eating diarrhea. That’s the best I can do.” – Holmberg [113:58]

9. Brady Report: News, Science and Absurdities

• [82:39] Friday fun facts (Lincoln on pennies, origin of big-boob porn searches, Toy Hall of Fame nominees, etc.).
• Science update: progress in resurrecting the woolly mammoth and dodo bird, moon mining, ant species with double-mating queens.
• Gags about extinct animals, dodo birds, grave-digging competitions in Hungary, and a Louisiana teacher busted for bringing cocaine to school.

“Playing God is bad ... Dodo birds—what if they were the honking rape bird no one ever talked about?" – Holmberg [96:05]

10. The Guadalupe Squares: The Return of Bananas and FCC Shadows

• The Friday signature: rapid-fire, R-rated Hollywood Squares parody with impressions (Carolla, Trump, Kamala, Mahomes, etc.), with running jabs at the FCC, the West Valley, and arm’s-length tributes to Arizona’s “crazy.”
• This week’s squares feature everything from “extinction expert Brady” to the ghost of Mama Cass, riffs on the dodo bird, and a Kermit-voiced Patrick Mahomes.
• Notable: The Squares are longer, more explicit, and very much in the show’s sweet spot for returning listeners, blending local color, dark comedy, and self-mockery.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Arizona Memes and TV Coverage:

  • "We need all the hillbillies, Mexicans, and Indians again to scare off all the whites that are thinking about moving in here with their ideas.”
    — Holmberg [21:44]

• Social Media & History:

  • "If we had social media when Kennedy got popped… it would’ve been a nightmare of people celebrating. Nothing’s different except we know more.”
    — Holmberg [13:10]

• On Parenting Teens:

  • “If you think it’s cute your son has pheromone spray and isn’t washing, the only thing he’s going to attract is a hillbilly girl—and you’re going to have to deal with her for the rest of your grandchild’s life.”
    — Holmberg [64:35]

• On FCC Overreach:

  • “That’s strong arming... That’s not the way it’s supposed to work. But of course, that’s where we are seven days after a guy’s head exploded on TV.”
    — Holmberg [24:00]

• Morbid Listener Service:

  • “My dad just died. Make me laugh. Here’s a video of a man eating diarrhea. That’s the best I can do.”
    — Holmberg [113:58]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:45–04:15 — Opening banter; Arizona’s TV face; local lunatics as civic asset
• 06:45–10:45 — The death of unity; Westboro nostalgia; social media compared to past tragedies
• 13:10–18:30 — FCC, censorship, and the "new normal" in broadcast/media
• 18:30–24:00 — Real estate, city growth, driving newcomers away
• 48:30–57:00 — Prison “pimp” scandal; comedic reenactment; sales team satire
• 59:26–68:00 — Teen hygiene trends; homecoming parenting anxieties
• 82:39–98:00 — Brady Report: fun facts, toy news, science, animal weirdness
• 113:58–127:00 — Fireside Chat: grief, gallows humor, listeners trying to bring laughter after loss
• 140:45–166:30 — Guadalupe Squares: Parodies, local shade, FCC references, offensive fun

Tone & Style

The episode maintains HMS’s trademark style: biting, self-aware humor with a willingness to offend, satirize, and lampoon Arizona culture, American dysfunction, and the hosts themselves. Every segment ricochets from sharp social observation to crude slapstick, turning serious headlines (politics, protests, FCC outrage) into fodder for punchlines. The group’s chemistry, insider jokes, and real sense of local identity ground the absurdity, making even the darkest riffs oddly cathartic.

For listeners new and old, this episode is a full-throttle ride through the best and worst of local radio—a little bit dangerous, a little bit unhinged, and always ready to make you laugh at the apocalypse.