09-19-25 - Realizing Why We Watch The Dolphins - Eloy Corrections Officer Busted For Prostituting Herself For Jailed Inmate Pimp - Teen Boys Are Now Pheromone Maxing Instead Of Showering

Summary

Episode Overview

Podcast: Holmberg's Morning Sickness (98KUPD, Arizona)
Date: September 19, 2025
Episode Theme:
A lively blend of sports analysis, local odd news, and social commentary—all beneath Holmberg's signature blend of irreverent humor. This episode covers:

• The reasons we find ourselves watching Miami Dolphins games (and why that’s kind of dark)
• The wild saga of a correctional officer in Eloy, AZ, turned prison pimp
• Teen boys’ disgusting new trend: “pheromone maxing” (skipping showers, hoping it attracts girls)
• Parenting anxieties around teen social life and homecoming

---

Main Discussion Points & Insights

1. Why Do We Really Watch Dolphins Games?

• [02:19–12:41]
  The show opens with a collective bemusement about the Miami Dolphins’ draw—especially for non-fans. Holmberg and crew riff on the surprising “predictability” of NFL point spreads and make the darkly comic admission that their main curiosity in watching Dolphins games is to see if Tua Tagovailoa suffers another scary on-field injury.

  • Key Insight:
    Holmberg expresses a kind of morbid curiosity—a “just-in-case factor”—in watching for athlete trauma, likening it to why people watch daredevils on high-wires or Evel Knievel stunts.

    • Quote [06:11]:
      “I don’t care about competitive football at all. The only reason I watch...is to see if Tua goes gang signs again. It’s a terrible way to think.” – John Holmberg

  • Discussion unfurls about sports betting (“Never bet a 10-point spread”), the amazing accuracy of Vegas odds makers, and the subtle ways this precision makes pro football “feel fixed.”

    • Quote [03:51]:
      “When Vegas says 10, 11 points, they’re right. They're almost always right… Never, ever, ever, ever take 10 or more in a professional game.” – John Holmberg

  • They joke about how the Dolphins’ uniforms are “the gayest uniform I’ve ever seen,” and explain their emotional distance from the team.

    • Quote [06:27]:
      “You’re basically a Willenda now. You’re a high wire act. I don’t watch the Dolphins for competitive football… Now they got a guy out there who’s like, well, we’re not interesting unless [something crazy happens].” – John Holmberg

2. Wild News: Eloy Corrections Officer Becomes Inmate’s Prostitute/Pimp

• [14:29–26:01]
  The crew dissects a wild Arizona news story: a Phoenix woman and corrections officer at La Palma Correctional Center in Eloy was busted for prostituting herself for a jailed inmate, smuggling drugs and phones, and sending proceeds to the inmate’s brother.

  • Key Insights:

    • The prisoner, Burks, orchestrated a sophisticated operation from inside jail, demonstrating charisma and manipulation skills.
    • There’s warped admiration for Burks’ ability to “turn out” a corrections officer:
      • Quote [18:19]:
        “That is being unafraid to talk to just about anyone. You are a prisoner who managed to not only bring up the topic…but talk her into it. That’s impressive. I don’t care what laws are broken here, that’s impressive.” – John Holmberg

  • They lampoon the notion of “Boost Up Your Ass Mobile,” mock up fake ads and scenarios, and riff on corruption/failure in the system (use of Cash App, smuggling inside body cavities for cash).

  • The officer netted at least $5,500 via this scheme.

    • Quote [17:30]:
      “This guy’s in jail…pimping out one of the correctional officers, and his brother’s like, ‘I got your money, man.’ This is an unbelievable operation.” – John Holmberg

  • The segment is peppered with raunch, satirical what-if scenarios (Mr. Burks as a radio sales rep, making Susan and Ed run contraband, etc.), and a running gag about contraband “up your ass.”

3. Teen Boys & the Rise of ‘Pheromone Maxing’

• [27:22–36:43]
  Holmberg pivots to a discussion about a new trend among teen boys: “pheromone maxing” (skipping showers under the belief that natural musk will attract girls).

  • Key Insight:
    The hosts rip into the stupidity of this, mocking how boys have become convinced (thanks to internet “pheromone” ads and memes) that their unwashed bodies are sexy.

    • Quote [29:07]:
      “Pheromone maxing is a new thing that idiots are trying...they think that their swamp sweat is attractive to the lady.” – John Holmberg

  • There’s nostalgia for old hygiene trends (Drakkar Noir, “just spray it on”), and plenty of incredulity that sitting on PlayStation and iPad qualifies as sweat enough to emit pheromones.

  • The hosts note that this fad could become dangerous (skin issues, infections, etc.), and everywhere, the same wisdom emerges:

    • Quote [32:43]:
      “If you think it’s cute your son has pheromone spray and isn’t washing...the only thing he’s going to attract is a hillbilly girl…and your grandkid’s gonna be living with you.” – John Holmberg

4. Parenting, Homecoming, and Teenage Social Anxiety

• [33:30–41:28]
  The team switches gears to the homecoming season, with the usual mix of jokes and real anxiety. Brady discusses his daughter Kirby’s plans to attend homecoming with a boy (who turns out to be homeschooled, met via a church youth group).

  • Highlights:

    • Holmberg is openly anxious (and comic) about the thought of being a parent at such a time, suggesting chains, air tags, and constant vigilance.

      • Quote [36:06]:
        “I’m saying chain her to something…Did you have a radiator at home? Chain her to it.” – John Holmberg

    • They poke fun at the way every parent thinks their kid is “different” and won’t make bad choices, and tells old tales of friends’ parents being proven wrong.

      • Quote [39:32]:
        “Oh, hate him already. I hate him so much. I just hate him. He’s homeschooled?” – John Holmberg
      • Quote [39:48]:
        “That’s where pregnancies are the most powerful. The repressed ones are the first ones in.” – John Holmberg

  • The running thread is parental paranoia and the unchanging/hyper-sexualized reality of youth, regardless of generation.

  • Nostalgia for their own high school dances—and awkwardness—gives the topic levity.

---

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On why we really watch sports:

  • [06:11] “To see if Tua goes gang signs again. It's a terrible way to think.” — John Holmberg

• On Vegas betting:

  • [03:51] “When Vegas says 10, 11 points, they’re right… Never, ever, ever, ever take 10 or more in a professional game.” — John Holmberg

• On the incarcerated pimp:

  • [18:19] “You are a prisoner who managed to…talk [a corrections officer] into it. That’s impressive.” — John Holmberg

• On pheromone maxing:

  • [29:07] “Pheromone maxing is a new thing that the idiots are trying…they think that their swamp sweat is attractive to the lady.” — John Holmberg

• On the swimmers in the gene pool:

  • [32:43] “If you think it’s cute your son has pheromone spray and isn’t washing...the only thing he’s going to attract is a hillbilly girl.” — John Holmberg

• On homecoming anxiety:

  • [36:06] “Chain her to something…Did you have a radiator at home? Chain her to it.” — John Holmberg

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Beautiful morning/Weather Banter
  [02:00–02:21]
• NFL/Dolphins discussion & Vegas spreads
  [02:19–12:41]
• Dolphins nostalgia, historical asides
  [12:28–14:29]
• Eloy prison scandal story
  [14:29–26:01]
• Pheromone maxing/teen boys not showering
  [27:22–36:43]
• Parenting, homecoming worries, youth group/pregnancy jokes
  [33:30–41:28]
• Church group as teen sex epicenter
  [42:56–44:18]

---

Tone & Style

• Language/Tone: Irreverent, brash, and sardonic, with a blend of satire and real-life anxiety.
• Interaction: Fast-paced banter, constant riffing, personal anecdotes, and audience engagement via emails.
• Humor: Crass, self-deprecating, and satirical, especially in hypothetical scenarios and impersonations.

---

Summary Table

| Segment | Timestamps | Main Topics / Insights | |----------------------------------|--------------|--------------------------------------------------------------| | Dolphins, Vegas spreads | 02:19–12:41 | The dark side of why we watch NFL injuries; sports betting | | Eloy corrections officer scandal | 14:29–26:01 | Prison sex/drugs ring; prisoner's charisma as “pimp” | | Pheromone maxing | 27:22–36:43 | Teen boys not showering; mocking “natural” attraction claims | | Parenting & homecoming | 33:30–41:28 | Parental fears, generational denial, hypocrisy in “good kids” |

---

Wrap-Up

This episode blends national sports chatter, local news-of-the-weird, and cultural commentary, always filtered through a lens of brutal honesty and in-your-face comedy. Whether dissecting Dolphins quarterback trauma, lampooning inmate-pimp scandals, or worrying about kids’ personal hygiene and homecoming adventures, Holmberg’s crew combines satire with genuine insight and the ever-present worry that “maybe the world is just getting stranger.”

Transcript

[Katie Cavey]

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[John Holmberg]

Hey everybody, it's John Holmberg from the Morning Sickness talking to Shane Orlando from Orlando Auto Body. Now, Shane, I take great pride in saying I stand with someone when I tell a listener to go to their shop. I know why. You tell me what's different for a KUPD listener to go to Orlando Auto Body than anywhere else? Well, first of all, we've been in the Valley here for over 34 years. We do a quality job. We work for you, not the insurance companies.

[Katie Cavey]

So we can work together to make.

[John Holmberg]

Sure your listeners are getting the customer service they deserve. If your car's been wrecked and you need that thing fixed the right way, get on over there now.

[Podcast Announcer]

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[John Holmberg]

You thought that was funny?

[Podcast Announcer]

You were laughing like a hyena when he said it.

[John Holmberg]

What the hell is wrong with you pd? Thank you Katie and the hot Hobbs that's miles to nowhere getting us started here. Friday's off and running and it is beautiful out There right now. It's absolutely stunning. A little lightning up north, still some storms hanging around, but man, oh, man, is it pretty here.

[Katie Cavey]

I wrote into work with the windows down.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I did, too. Same thing. I took surface streets and windows down. It was beautiful. It's perfect out there. Glorious. And you know what's really crazy, man? What? What? Secret elixir. I'm starting to fall into the. Maybe all of football is fixed. Maybe it's all phony because saying the dolphins are 11 and a half point underdogs and then losing by 10 is just. I thought that game last. We were making jokes yesterday that Trubisky would be in the game by the end of the third quarter. This was a bloodbath on paper. The Dolphins are suddenly. They're playing for Mike McDaniel and everything's. You know, they love this guy and they're going to fight. And it's tied at halftime. Like, you got to be kidding me. And then, sure enough, Bill's put that last one through. Make it. Make it, you know, 10 points. And you're like, they missed by a point again. They're so perfect. And I know that they're never going to get. And I'm never comfortable giving a professional team 10 points in a bet. That's my only betting advice I give to anyone. If the spread is 10 or 11 or 12, don't do it. Something weird can happen.

[Brady]

Had a sports betting boardroom meeting after you, Dale, and. Yeah, and that was the sage advice.

[John Holmberg]

Never bet a 10 point. But you never know. Josh Allen buses Pinky last night.

[Brady]

Like, I wasn't thinking that because initially I'm going, oh, I'll take the Bills in my head.

[John Holmberg]

I want it to be 30. I want it to be 30 to 7. Because that's what it seems like it should be. But When Vegas says 10, 11 points, they're right. They're almost always right. It's very rare when they're like, wow, we didn't see that in football in college. I looked at the first week of college spreads. Actually, it was the second week. And you're looking at the Ohio State game.

[Brady]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

They're like 38 point favorites. And I think they won by like 42. They was an insane number that was almost dead on the money. Yeah.

[Brady]

They did it again cover last week.

[John Holmberg]

They didn't cover last week, but it's what it's probably right. And that's the fun of it. They're like, well, you're going to be a point or two on either side of this very rarely are we going to nail it to the point, but you're going to be a point. We're almost going to guess this dead on. It's insane. And I wanted to bet that game because I'm like, buffalo's going to walk on these guys. If you've watched the Dolphins play at all, they've been horrible. Vegas knows. Vegas knows. It felt so much like it was like, this is just to get gamblers that took that 12 point action. Never, ever, ever, ever take 10 or more in a professional game. I will also say this in college for betting. If anybody's getting 40 points, take it. That's hard to cover. And they are amazing at how often they call that shot. Alabama's gonna beat this school you've never heard of by 62 points. 62 point spread. I'll take 62. And the final score is 63 to nothing. How did they do that? It's amazing. Last night I watched him like, there's no way this is even competitive. I was texting with Tripp yesterday a little bit and he said all this that's going on fcc this, that and the other. He goes, the only thing I'm interested in is can the Dolphins keep this game competitive? And I'm like, no. I mean, don't. You're going to waste your time watching that one. And I found out something else and this is a terrible thing. And I'm going to throw my friend Anthony Pagliso under the bus as well. He texted me and he said, do you. Why do you watch the Dolphins? Like we were basically saying, why would we ever take time out of our life to watch the Miami Dolphins play on foot, football game on tv? And we both. And then just quick answer, like you, you answer and I'll answer at the same time. This question we both answered to see if Tua goes gang signs again. It's a terrible way to think.

[Brady]

I'd have to. I was thinking either Tua or the cheetah.

[John Holmberg]

I don't care about any of that. I don't care about competitive football at all. The only reason I watch, and it's his fault, because I had so much empathy for Tua Tungavailoa when he hit the ground and started to do the crab hands for a second. And I'm like, well, that's it. He needs to step away. That's two weeks in a row.

[Brady]

Is there going to be death on the field?

[John Holmberg]

That one, that's the fourth one I've seen him do. He needs to be smart and Step away from the game. And then within a week he's like, no, I'm coming back. And it's like, all right, well then that's why I'm watching. You're basically a Willenda now. You're a high wire act. I don't watch the Dolphins for competitive football. I can't stand their uniforms. It's like the gayest uniform in the world. It's got a little cute fish on the. The sun is on it and it's turquoise and it's the gayest uniform I've ever seen. And then now they got a guy out there who's like, well, we're not interesting. Unless. So I found myself in true the darkness of me saying the only reason I really would ever watch this is to see if Tua has a moment because I don't feel sorry for him anymore.

[Brady]

So you think if it happens during the game and finally, you know, you're watching it and Tua gets hit and you're like. Is your first comment there?

[John Holmberg]

It is the same thing I watch when they put those dudes on TV who walk on wires over the Grand Canyon. I'm not watching for him to finish. You have to know what you're watching for. You don't watch that for.

[Brady]

It's been a waste. The last couple.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Cause why he makes.

[Brady]

They're latched into.

[John Holmberg]

It's boring. If you. Yeah. Because TV doesn't want to take. That's one thing that the FCC is like, hey, don't. Don't televise this. Not like in the 70s now. Right. And those were taped. They knew better. The live events of, you know, they knew they were on huge delays. If Knievel crashed and he did sometimes, like, as long as he's alive, we'll air it. But when Melinda went over the Grand Canyon, like, we are not televising your death. It would have been more interesting TV had he not been strapped in. And they just had like a 40 second delay. They're like, there's no way you're gonna watch. If he slips off this thing, it's just gonna go blank. And we'll be like, something horrible's happened. And then the Internet would take over.

[Brady]

Or the news showing everything.

[John Holmberg]

It would have been on TV eventually, but not live. And that's the risk. I watched those Willinda's one time where the wife and the husband were walking towards each other between two high rise buildings and one had to jump over the other. Remember that? And they weren't strapped in for that one that was that weirdo. They're like, oh, praise Jesus. Praise the Lord Jesus. As they get closer, they kept talking about God. And I'm like, I think God would have given you the advice not to do. It's got to be somewhere in the Bible. Go, don't do this. This is just. You're just stupid. And they had their sticks, they're wobbling around. And then the husband got crouched down, and she crouched down, and I don't remember which one sprung over the other lands. It's like, we did it. And I turned it. Immediately I'm like, well, the interest of this is over. They're going to make it. I have no interest in that. And now I'm that way with Tua Tunga Violoa. Because gang signs made me feel sad. Him running back. It's like if Brett said, hey, I got hit by a car today. Like, oh, geez, Brett. All right. And he comes back in next week. Guess what happened to me again? What? I got hit by another car. Like, Brett, you need to stop walking on the freeway. Nope, I'm gonna go back out there. Next second the doctors clear me, I'm like, well, then, now I'm just rooting for the video. Because if you're so stupid to keep walking in traffic when it's clearly the end of you, I'm going to watch. But that's the only reason I watch dolphin games. And that is such a sad state of affairs for my brain. I'm not rooting for it, but I know the possibility is there. And for some reason that's intriguing danger. Will it, Won't it happen? Then when it doesn't happen, I walk away going, well, to. To have survived another week. But that's negligence completely.

[Brady]

That's my short term memory there.

[John Holmberg]

What?

[Brady]

To realize that he's one concussion away.

[John Holmberg]

Beyond. Yeah, he's already had that concussion. The next one is going to be Detroit. Like that last one was the week after he had when he shouldn't have been playing this league that cares so much about their heads. He remember when he. It was against the Bills. He got hit and he staggered off like, what in the world? Like. He's pretty concussed, isn't he? And then the next week he's playing again, and that's when his hands went crab. Two of hands are a thing. That's how you know we're all dark down inside. Because if I say, oh, you got the two of hands, somebody's like. And they'll do them. You're doing them in Your car right now. I know, I know. You guys like, hey, do two of hands look to. Look to the car to your left and see if anybody else is listening because they're doing the thing. Two of hands are real.

[Katie Cavey]

And that's nascar.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly.

[Katie Cavey]

That's why you watch it.

[Brady]

It's why it's like the Thriller video.

[John Holmberg]

That's why people who aren't into it watch it. Yeah, well, it's. No, because that's at least rhythmic Brady. Don't compare him to the Thriller zombies. Those are actually dancers. And by the way, they were dead. So the correlation is close because they are gone. It's nuts. But I watched last night thinking to myself, now Miami's gonna get killed. The only reason to watch this game is the just in case factor. I also watched Demar Hamlin. I keep my eyes on number three for the Bills. I'm like, how's he looking? All right. He seems okay. Everybody does. But the second you have the opportunity to step away for your own benefit and you say, nope, I'm running it out there. When I watch boxers and they've got that strange, you know, their noses like, all right, I'm gonna watch this and you're gonna get destroyed and I'm not gonna feel bad for you when they. When they lose the ability to not have sinuses in their mouths. I think I got one good fight left for me. I'm gonna put it out there that think we're gonna win this fight. You're 52. Stop it. Kyle emails. He said, when you first said the phrase, why would anyone ever watch a Dolphins game? I immediately said out loud, two of hands. It's why we all watch the Dolphins. Except unless you're a Dolphins fan. And why are you that no one was alive when the Dolphins were good. No one. I think I was nine the last time. The Dolphins were like super relevant. Then they tried again in the late 90s for a couple of years with Zach Martin, but they didn't have a quarterback. They haven't been good since I was single digit aged.

[Katie Cavey]

Since Marino.

[John Holmberg]

Marino, he was the last one. And even then that was only from like 82 to 90. And then after 90, you're like, eh, they're winning, but they're not going to win it. They're like the Steelers right now. Yeah, they got some wins under their belts. They're not going anywhere.

[Brady]

Yeah, 91. When I first moved out here, I. That's the reason. Only reason I went to the Cardinal game.

[John Holmberg]

To see Dan Marino. Yeah. Yeah. It was on the, you know, he wasn't on the tail end, but it was the Shula thing. It's like, yeah, they're competitive, but they're not going to the Super Bowl.

[Dick Toledo]

Holmberg's morning sickness podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. Back to school. Workplace upheaval. Relationship stress. Deadline anxiety. We all go through these moments in our daily lives that leave our mental health and wellness on shaky ground. It's Dick Toledo from Holmberg's morning sickness for BetterHelp. I personally have felt the benefits of therapy to get through a rough patch and to give me a way to navigate that tough time and a strategy to recognize when I'm not handling situations my best. And with over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform. With BetterHelp, you can join a session with a therapist at the click of a button and switch therapists anytime to help you fit therapy into your life where it's best. As the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a broad array of expertise. So give yourself a helping hand and talk it out with BetterHelp. Morning Sickness listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com that's BetterHelp. H-E-L-P.com Holmberg Shopify's point of sale system.

[Podcast Announcer]

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[John Holmberg]

Thanks.

[Podcast Announcer]

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[John Holmberg]

Holmberg's Morning Sickness. We all knew they were good enough. Entertaining. They were. Nice Broadway show. You go, you enjoy yourself. You didn't see anything special. Cardinals Dolphins in 1991. That was for the love of the game. That was not. Because like my. I got to see that magical 91 dolphins team. No, they were really good. The only team that beat those 85 bears, and that was when they were really at their peak. That was 40 years ago.

[Katie Cavey]

That was the Patriots.

[John Holmberg]

No, no. In the regular season, the bears were 15 and 1. And the only team that beat him was the Dolphins.

[Katie Cavey]

Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. My bad.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. The Bears crushed the Patriots playoffs. But yeah, and by the way, that's how good the Dolphins were. The Patriots were in the same division and they made it to the Super bowl at 9 and 7 because the dolphins weren't good enough to get through all the teams in the playoffs. Ridiculous. So yeah, I watched last night. And then at the end when they kicked that field goal, I'm like, those bastards did it again. One and one half points off. That literally is my favorite part of ESPN is Van Pelt's bad beat section when he goes through all the hooks that beat people and like things that happen when the over unders of something where like a guy will block a field goal and run it back and they get two points or something like that. And it's like. And that's the difference between the over under being 49 and 50. Oh, and so many people lost tons of money on this, that and the other. Oh, it's nuts. Bad beats are my favorite thing by a lot. And then we got this one going on which I love this story. A Phoenix woman who worked as a correctional officer at the Arizona prison prostituted herself for an inmate and help smuggle drugs and cell phones into the prison. Are you prostituting? If you're giving the inmate stuff, you're the pimp. You're the. You were the. Yeah. You're the John, right? Yeah. You're the one paying, technically. According to the court documents, detectives said the investigation began earlier this year. Her 27 year old, Donna Leanne Harris, worked for the worked at Core Civic at the La Palma Correctional center in Eloy. They said they reviewed messages through some sort of thing that they have with the prison. It allows inmates to contact the public through phone calls, emails and messages that showed Yaharusalam Burks told Harris to set up appointments with men for sex. She had a pimp behind bars. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.

[Brady]

And she was filling the.

[John Holmberg]

She was a correctional age facility person. She was a cop. So they'd pay for sex through Instagram and Snapchat and then found a Facebook account for Harris, which she admitted to turning tricks for Burks. Burks was sending her out to other jails. The correctional officer was being said, yeah, you got a couple of dudes up there in Vegas, you need to get up there and take care of business. And she would because she knew how to get in and out with stuff.

[Katie Cavey]

Man, this guy is a pimp.

[John Holmberg]

That's pimping ain't easy. The ultra pimp that is you. Pooty Tang's got nothing on this guy. She posted images, she got paid. Well, that's the thing. She Posted images of cash discussing prices for Sex X and wired more than $5,500 to the cash app account of Burke's brother. So she pulled. She was 5,500 bucks. This guy's in jail. He's pimping out one of the correctional officers, and his brother's like, I got your money, man. And they were. This is an unbelievable operation. And that's a set of balls if you think about it. He's behind bars, looking, and he goes, how you doing, girl? He turned her out. He's a prisoner. She's a correctional officer, and he turned her ass out. I can make you a lot more money than what you make and do and what you're doing. How's that?

[Brady]

That's a salesman.

[John Holmberg]

That is a. Yeah, we need to get him downstairs into Susan's sales that you want to talk about. Slump busters. Susan, call him immediately. Susan, get on the horn right away. Get over and call that guy and put him next to Ed and light a fire under Ed's ass in our sales department. Next thing you know, start turning Ed out. Next thing you know. Hey, Ed, I need you to drop something off of me. I don't think I'm comfortable with that, Mr. Burks. I think I need you to sue it. Ed won't do what I'm saying. Listen to him, Ed, put this cell phone up your ass. I'm not comfortable with this at all. What will my wife think? Put this cell phone in your ass, Ed, you want to make some money or not? Well, I do love money. I do so love money. I can't do it, Keith. Okay, I'll put the cell phone in my ass. Then what? Then I need you go to Boost Mobile and get a couple cards. Put those in your ass. So much in my ass, Mr. Burks. Do it. And if you would like to be the number one salesperson, Mr. Burks is a great mentor. That salesman. That's. That is being unafraid to talk to just about anyone. You are a prisoner who managed to not only bring up the topic to the correctional officer, but talk her into it. That's impressive. I don't care what the laws broken here are. That's impressive.

[Brady]

That guy would come up here and like, hey, endorsement opportunity for you guys.

[John Holmberg]

We want you guys to endorse Boost up your Ass Mobile. I don't think I'm comfortable with that, Mr. Burks. He's making a sale. Mr. Holmberg, why are you so difficult? Sorry, Susan. I just don't want. Ow. What is that? It's a phone up your ass. You just in the daughter. Say it. I'm chilling away for phones up my ass. Do it. John Holmberg. And I'm chilling away for boost up my ass. Mr. Burke. Where do I go next? If I tell you now, I gotta go back to jail for a little bit. Susan, I need a ride to jail. Hop in. I will take you immediately. What is this? What kind of car is this? Oh, you'll be blown away at its speed, Mr. Friend of Mine. It is the most unbelievable vehicle you have ever seen. Hop aboard. Off we go. Oh, it's fun because it's the opposite of Susan, but still, you put up pictures of Hitler as a motivational tool down in the sales department. I'm never going to let you forget it.

[Katie Cavey]

Imagine the Hellcat he's going to be able to get when he gets out.

[John Holmberg]

Of jail if his brother hasn't blown through all the resources.

[Brady]

It might be a Hellcat rv.

[John Holmberg]

Thousand horsepower rv. I mean, really putting it together out there. Dodge, you can make a sale here. We've just put that on you, Chrysler. We're not counting you out. That 300 hasn't been making a making the rounds like it used to. You put that in RV form and Mr. Burks might be coming by. He could sell them. Anyway, she started posting images on the Cash app and then they started to look at stuff between January and July. She used Cash apps, Apple Cash, Venmo, and was depositing a range. You asked what the price was, Brady. A range she would deposit at a time between 80 and $2,000. So I think for a good old handy old fashioned, you get an 80 pop on that, then the upgrades and.

[Brady]

The guy that went two grand.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but who's paying her?

[Brady]

She had to recover.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, but who has $2,000 for a hooker in jail?

[Katie Cavey]

I think your family members kick in.

[John Holmberg]

Or I guess you still have to make it through your.

[Brady]

You know, you still have a bunch of cash and in the wall.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but also it was cash and drugs and stuff going inside of her. And she wasn't necessarily always that. She said messages showed that she was trading. She would smuggle drugs and cell phones into prison for him. And then she bragged about two videos where she had sex with him at the La Palma prison. So she kind of made that. I'm 27. The world is about Instagram stuff. Braggart videos on TikTok on how.

[Katie Cavey]

What's this broad look like? You got a picture?

[John Holmberg]

She's not horrible. Her. Her mug shot is a bit Mug shotty, but you know. Yeah, yeah, come on.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah, her name.

[Katie Cavey]

I gotta look up, see if we can find.

[John Holmberg]

See if you can find. See if you can find it on there.

[Brady]

That roll into correctional.

[John Holmberg]

Donna Leanne Harris. Oh, yeah, I know that's. And I don't know if I can't see her from the neck down, but she might have a fat ass, and that's really bad for her.

[Katie Cavey]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And the joint, well. Well, it's great for. Great for loading. Yeah, it's great for. Yeah, it's good clientele. It's the big luggage that she's carrying and that's. Junk in the trunk is truly what they mean when they talk about her. She was booked into jail on one count of taking contraband into a correctional facility. Unlawful sexual conduct with a correctional facility prison staff against an inmate. One count of money laundering. One kind of legally conducting an enterprise. All of them are felonies. Her cash only bond is 75,000 if you want her. Huh?

[Katie Cavey]

See, Burks.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Burks is solid, man.

[Katie Cavey]

Can you imagine him sitting next to Ed down there? Oh, man.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, man, my name is Burks. Do you have a first name? Yeah, but you couldn't say it. I would like to try, though. I'm into diversity. See, I'm Ed, and there's one thing people say about Ed down in sales. Diversity follows Ed around. All right? My name's Yahoo. Salah. Nice to meet you, Mr. Burks. That's a wonderful name. I'll never try to say Yahoo. Salem. That's right. Burch likes this chair and Eddie likes. Ooh, damn, who we with? Ed, our cube is nice. We got Kelly and we got Jennifer. This is a night. Ed, you best step out of this. I'm gonna do some business with these ladies. Next thing you know, Jen and Kelly are turned out. Guess he's that good a salesperson. You're wasting your time selling home brick and whatever that dick's name is next to him. I can make you some real money, bitch. How so, Mr. Burks? Jerusalem got your back, girl. Put this in your. Was that how it. Yeah. Put this up in your ass and walk around with it for a little while. See how you feel. And then maybe we'll get you some, you know, jobs on the street. And then Susan be like, nobody's making any radio sales and you all have new cars. Mr. Burks is taking over as the sales leader here. I think you can step away, by the way. Susan. Oh, put this in your ass. We can make this. Next thing you know Trip's like, I gotta. I gotta get out of here. I got something to deliver. Did Burks put something in your ass? Yes.

[Brady]

It'S on maximum set for vibration.

[John Holmberg]

My profits and losses weren't looking as good, so I. I did what Burke said and we're thriving. But it's uncomfortable.

[Katie Cavey]

Trip's gonna be rolling in a Hellcat next week.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, guys. What's going on? Hey. We have no commercials. We're not running. I know. We don't need those anymore. Burke's found a new revenue stream up my ass. Homburg's morning sickness.

[Katie Cavey]

I got rid of the Porsche.

[John Holmberg]

Anyway. That's some pretty good pimping right there, if you ask me. He goes to jail and it doesn't scare him at all. Sees the first female correctional officer not only brings it up. Is Charming enough to have her go. I'm listening. Yeah, I knew you would.

[Brady]

Spreads around to all the stations. Then you hear the burks. 2060 is just doing fabulous right now.

[John Holmberg]

A digital footprint up your ass has been really good. Scott Taylor, I don't need to see you in the bathroom no more pooping out all them cell phones. I have to. I'm very regular, Mr. Birx. I go three times a day here at work. Scott Taylor, you ain't going no more. It's too much contraband up your ass. Clinch it up. Anyway, it's a good story because if I was in jail, I'd just spend the whole time crying. Turns out this dude goes in there with a plan and gets it done. It's insane. And if you just take that kind of ambition and fortitude and go get her attitude out into regular society, you'd be a billionaire. Anybody. That. That's literally the definition of when people say, I could sell ice cream to an Eskimo. And I don't know if that's politically correct anymore, but they used to be people selling good sales. Now this guy could sell an ice cube to an eskimo. That's what Mr. Burks might be able to do. That I can turn a bitch out who's a correctional facility officer while I'm behind bars like they're insane. That's. Nobody can do that. Brady. Have you noticed that? Does Kirby have the boys over? Did any boys come to the house? 17, 18 year old boys in your house?

[Brady]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Have you noticed that they don't wash anymore? This is a new trend of your stupid kids out there.

[Brady]

Not the. No, not too much.

[John Holmberg]

Pheromone maxing is a new thing that the idiots are Trying the youth because they've been told by. And I've seen these. When you scroll, when you're. When you're doom scrolling on Instagram, you're going through all the silly. Every once in a while you get that commercial for that, that perfume or cologne where hot girl. This dude just squirts one on his neck and stuff. And then some hot girl goes, oh my God, where's the nearest bedroom? It's a pheromone spray and supposedly it makes women sex machines. The second they smell you, it's like.

[Brady]

It'S replaced the back of the books, magazines, the Spanish fly.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Eventually they're going to have X ray glasses and become a doctor all over Instagram. But it's this one where you take. You squirt twice, you don't wash, and you squirt a couple times. And then the dude does it. The one commercial I saw on there, the dude's got seven or eight different locations and he goes, things aren't going so well at the bar. And they're not bad commercials. They look very realistic. Things aren't going so well at the bar. But watch this. And then the girl next to him is having a drink and she just smells the air and she's like, I'm, I'm wet or something. She says something stupid like that and it's like, what? It works? That one. I'm telling you, I didn't know. And he goes, that's my girlfriend. But she didn't know I sprayed it. And you saw what happened to her. And so these kids are like, what do you do? How do you do this?

[Brady]

It's the love potion.

[John Holmberg]

It's love potion. And it's. But the key is pheromone maxing. You don't have to buy the stuff anymore. They think that their natural pheromone scent is what's doing it. So people 16, 17, 18 are no longer showering because they think that their swamp sweat is attractive to the lady.

[Katie Cavey]

Kids are so stupid.

[John Holmberg]

They don't understand how to interact with. At all with each other. So now they're just trying to attract each other, like caveman. And they're like, I don't know how to talk to him and I don't think he even speaks. But he stinks. Right. So it's basically because the, the, you.

[Brady]

Know, the science behind it. This. There is an attraction. Like when you.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Not stinking animal side of it. Certain.

[Katie Cavey]

They don't do enough nowadays.

[Brady]

You're attracted to them.

[John Holmberg]

You can't smell pheromones if you stink, it's called body odor. Pheromones naturally happen off your body. They're. They're like, they. And if they stink, it's because you stink. It's not your pheromones that smell. They're just. They're. They're. You admit something that is not your olfactory doesn't grab hold of it and go, that's. You smell like lilac.

[Katie Cavey]

But again, they don't do anything. They're not gonna smell. You don't sweat playing PlayStation and iPad. I mean, come on.

[John Holmberg]

Good point.

[Brady]

Yes, you do.

[John Holmberg]

You know what? You're right, Brett. Maybe we should narrow down these idiots to like one shower a week. And don't waste any water. If you're not going to move around, you're going to sit and get fat. Slob. Yeah. It's an online sweat.

[Brady]

Because they wear hoodies in the summer.

[John Holmberg]

Because what they asked the guys. It's a. Chasing an unrealistic version of masculinity. Now, I've always been of the idea, like way back in the day, I told you guys this back at. There was a girl who we used to play basketball all the time, and there was a girl who always wanted to do it after we swamped out at the park. She loved the smell of sweat. And you know what we called her? Crazy whore. Because that's what she was. No girl who likes the smell of sweaty balls is normal. Most girls want you to smell clean. The same way no man ever says, you know what? I like when my lady hikes camelback and comes back to the house and I just can't wait to get down there. No guy, no normal guy wants to be down there after you've had a nice hot workout. Nobody. You're. If you think that's sexy, you're a crazy person. Enjoy your domestic violence visits from the local police, because they're coming. You're not normal. So they're going with a thing. They skip showers. And the pheromone cologne is all they use now. So pheromone. This, this Instagram thing is amazing how it is just zombied out your dumb kids. The advice can lead to medical issues, by the way, because these. Some of these kids are going for, like, days on end. Remember when we all heard the Motley Crue story about how they had a bet on how long they could shower before one of the groupies finally said, I can't take this.

[Brady]

How long they can go without a shower.

[John Holmberg]

They went like a month, because they were basically testing the Limits of crazy whore. And they found that it was a month before they couldn't take it anymore. They had to eventually shower. Can you imagine Mick Mars not showering for 30 days?

[Brady]

The smell on that bus.

[John Holmberg]

Not only that, can you imagine being a woman who's decided that Mick Mars is the one you want to sleep with and he's not showering. You're crazy. Yeah. So if you've got a son that's stinks and he has a specific little bottle of blue cologne that you don't remember him getting any like, it showed up and he ran with the box into his room and opened it up and he's not showering, but yet he kind of smells like strange ocean water. He's pheromone maxing. And you're going to end up with a pregnant whore at your house. And you're going to end up paying for that.

[Katie Cavey]

Just like Drakkar of the late 80s and stuff like that. Just spray it on.

[John Holmberg]

At least Drakkar wasn't encouraging you not to bathe.

[Brady]

Magic potion.

[Katie Cavey]

Well, you bathe in that crap.

[John Holmberg]

And frankly, most of the people that use Drakkar were. Yeah, were in a bath of Drakkar. But they weren't washing off the crusties. You know, their underwear packs were still in place. Their rust butt was powerful. So just as a warning to parents out there, if you think it's cute that your son has pheromone spray and he's not washing, the only thing he's going to attract is a hillbilly girl. And you're going to have to deal with her for the rest of your grandchild's life because your grandkid's going to be living with you. Any girl attracted to a swamp ass gets pregnant, leaves the baby with grandma. So just let it be known, Brady, go home today. And I know you don't like to confront Kirby.

[Brady]

How much will be used this weekend? This big weekend? Homecoming.

[John Holmberg]

Is it homecoming weekend?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Does Kirby going with y. Is she going with the five guys again?

[Brady]

No. One with one.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Is this a thing?

[Brady]

Don't know.

[John Holmberg]

Don't you ask questions?

[Brady]

Oh, yeah, well, there's no. According to. No. They're really good friends, right? They hang out a lot.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Was the door closed?

[Brady]

No.

[John Holmberg]

As a dad, you need to watch this Open some awkward fumblings and the last thing you need with your current condition. Hey, man, I. I think I might be pregnant, man. No, Kirby, not now. Yeah. What's the doctor's name? Nanlite, man. So, yeah, you need to stay all over this. Especially if he stinks. Because he's also a loser. If he smells. Just remind Kirby that most guys who smell spread disease and she doesn't want that. My God. Is it nerve wracking homecoming? You're not worried at all that this is going to be a weird night?

[Brady]

Well, they've. But this is each other for a year already.

[John Holmberg]

So if it's done, it's done.

[Brady]

Like they're. They're friends. They've been friends.

[John Holmberg]

High five Brett. Last thing I would want is that this. This is another reason I could never have kids. I'd be. I'm paranoid about Kirby. You don't seem to have any concerns. Because I know how I was when I was a 17 year old boy and the girl I was friends with was a target. You had friends? Were you ever friends with a gal? No. Exactly. You need to get in this kid's face. I'm on my last legs kid. Don't make it my last job. Here to put you down before I go. Adios friend. Keep your hands to yourself. And then just wreck the gun. Oof. I couldn't do it. I'd have an air tag. I'd have air tags all over. I'd have cameras attached to her head. That would be awful.

[Brady]

I know the. You know basically upon us growing up. It is a little different now with this generation.

[John Holmberg]

You can keep saying that. Every parent says that. My kid doesn't drink. I've got a good one. They're all different now. It's not like we used to be.

[Brady]

They talk about it every day.

[John Holmberg]

They still hunt different. Yeah.

[Brady]

Not showering.

[John Holmberg]

Not.

[Brady]

You know the thing that talking about it's. It's just.

[John Holmberg]

There's different. But they still. They still have human hormones.

[Brady]

Absolutely.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I don't care about how different their behavior is. When it gets down to the nitty gritty.

[Brady]

I. I got through it. Try to teach them the best you can.

[John Holmberg]

I'm saying chain or chain her to something. This is making me uncomfortable. Chain. Or did you have a radiator at home? Chain her to it. I just bought one. Yeah. Get one. Just. Yeah. If you have the generator that's hard to move. If you could go. I'll help you pick it up. Let's go over to that crazy guy. We'll get your generator. We're going to chain that generator to Kirby. Make it hard for her to move around the homecoming. I don't like this at all. I don't like this at all. Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Brady]

And they're going with a big group.

[John Holmberg]

Yep. Yep.

[Brady]

And there's two or three that are just going solo.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's weird.

[Brady]

That's how it's changed too.

[John Holmberg]

No, we had solo people too, but it was weird. And I think it's still weird. I think it's. I think it's still like, yeah, you can do it. Nobody's gonna really say anything, but deep down, everybody's talking behind their backs. That's weird. Kids are mean. You go on their Instagram stuff and you go on there, where they're actually being what we used to be. They're out loud, awful. And then they act different, you know, in public because they don't know how to express themselves to humans. Oh, Brady, I've. When that kid comes over, you seem like a nice boy. So I'm gonna have to do something that I'm not gonna like and you're not gonna like, but I'm gonna do it. Punch you right in the nose, son. It's a preemptive strike. Come here, Talon. Let me pat you down here for all the weed that I know you both have.

[Brady]

His name is Flagin.

[John Holmberg]

Is it Flaggin? Flaggin. The boy, is he a stoner? No, he's not. Are you sure? Are you sure he doesn't think Kirby is?

[Katie Cavey]

So come on. It's not a good judge.

[Brady]

They don't even know what it is.

[John Holmberg]

Are you just a blind D now or is. Because I remember my friend Mark's. His wife.

[Brady]

Just keep it off my desk.

[John Holmberg]

Mark's. Mark's wife was constant. Oh, no. Our kids are different. They don't drink. They don't. They're not. They're not that way. Well, they're the drinkingest kids I've ever been around in my life. These kids didn't hit 21 with that kind of tolerance. They'd been testing that. I take his son Matthew. We took him to Vegas when he was 18 and he didn't get drunk. And I'm like, you say your kid doesn't drink. Mark's like, he drinks. He's not a drinker. He doesn't like that kind of stuff. He's not like that. This kid was guzzling alcohol with us and never ever saw blurry eyes. I'm like, he's playing. Yeah, it was illegal. We took an 18 year old to Vegas and got him drunk. But it was fun. And it was during COVID so no one was there. It was awesome. Oof, man. I had a friend in high school. Her name was Jenny. And we Did a lot together, too, but I just didn't know how to get in that deal. That's all I cared about was trying to. Yeah. Will she ever like me? You're initially friends, but we weren't going to any dances together because she was going with dudes that would boner. Or at least be men. I was not that. I was her friend. You'd have given me that opportunity. I'd have sure gone after it. But I was dumb. Now, in hindsight, you know, everything's fine, but you look back at the ones you're like, oh, boy. Go to dances. My stomach is spinning. I don't know how you're normal on this. This is not normal.

[Brady]

He's a good homeschooled kid.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, hate him already. I hate him so much. I just hate him. He's homeschooled?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Jesus Christ. He's on Rum Springer. Brady, this kid never gets out.

[Brady]

No, he. He gets out.

[John Holmberg]

How did they meet?

[Brady]

Through the church youth group.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Jesus. That's where pregnancies are the most powerful. Oh, you never been to a Catholic school or anything? 600 girls who have to leave the city because they're pregnant. That's all they do is have sex. The repressed ones are the first ones in anyway. Well, Pop Pop's going to be for real soon.

[Brady]

Keep it off my desk.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's not going to be all over your desk with diapers and powders.

[Katie Cavey]

Grandpop.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Grandpap. Pop. So you just take the tape off the sides, and then you put the baby powder. And then you gotta wipe it first. Okay. I see. Get used to saying that kind of stuff.

[Brady]

I already have the big plans for the gender reveal.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah? Yeah. Are you gonna be at that? Because if I was you, I'd be gone. I'd pull a Toledo's. Granddad. Oh, you just made my stomach ache again. High five. Brett, we never have to do this. The only thing worse than a teen boy is a teen girl. You gotta worry about them being around teen boys. Ugh.

[Brady]

Yuck.

[John Holmberg]

Anyway, good luck with that.

[Katie Cavey]

That's this weekend?

[John Holmberg]

Yep.

[Katie Cavey]

Kirby and Keyshawn are gonna be off at the.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, man, this is good. What do you want to do now? I don't know, girl. I got a couple ideas. We could pray. I can make you say God. No kidding. All right, man, let's give that a run. What is this? Ayahuasca, man. The whole group? You like the whole group?

[Brady]

Yeah, pretty much.

[John Holmberg]

Which one's a Weedy? He's the supplier.

[Brady]

There's not Room.

[John Holmberg]

Yes there is. Oh Christ. What kind of world do you live in? 17 year old Christians and Gilbert dying to smoke weed. Doing it like crazy.

[Brady]

What do you think they're gonna do the. The group of 14?

[John Holmberg]

There's like eight of them.

[Brady]

I know maybe four. I actually know more than that because I know a couple of the girls.

[John Holmberg]

You think there's no one bringing one of them vape pens full of weed to that party?

[Brady]

Oh, there might be. There might be some drinks.

[John Holmberg]

No might. No. Brady.

[Katie Cavey]

Poor little fella.

[John Holmberg]

I need a bromo my tummy. Let's just get to. Let's get right to the Wake up song. I can't take this kind of pressure. I can't be a father and a host. I'd be the only one in the room doing both.

[Katie Cavey]

All right, wake up some. Brought to you by Action Ride Shop. This is the weekend to get on out there and start hitting the trails or hitting the streets, the canals, whatever. Get on a bike, just get some exercise, get you get your heart flown. But here's the deal. Action Ride Shop right now has got some great deals going on new bikes, some of their demo bikes and if you're not sure if it's for you, they got a full rental fleet as well at two locations right there at the dog store on Gilbert Road and Southern. And of course the brand new one right out there off the Hawes trailhead at power Road and McDowell. It is action Rideshop. Action Rideshop. That can.

[John Holmberg]

Easy peasy. Guy says, oh Brady, hun. That's how this email starts. I love you Brady. You're so awesome. Especially when I saw you the night before my visit to South Dakota. This was a guy who used to work with us moved to South Dakota. In my experience, the kids that I've dealt with in church youth groups are the most repressed, drug induced, sex crazed people I've ever been around in my life. It was the best place to get laid in high school. I totally agree.

[Katie Cavey]

That's Father Dale.

[John Holmberg]

That's where it all began. From the top down. There was a dude named Phil there. He was having sex with one of the girls, got her pregnant. There were pregnancies abound. You know where there weren't any? With me, the atheist. I had to find Jesus to get a teen girl to want to lay on top of me for a little while. And I tried.

[Brady]

If you discovered that, you would have gotten laid a lot more.

[John Holmberg]

I tried. I went to that church to get laid because all my friends were. Everybody was at St. Tim's getting laid, everyone. And I went over there to hang out at the Teen Life because I'm like, this is awesome. This is where all the pheromones meet. And even there, I kind of struck out. Everybody else was getting. So I was late to the party. Everybody had already coupled up. So, yeah, I tried to use the Catholic Church to get laid like all the other kids. My God. I guess I wasn't selling it.

[Brady]

And the priests.

[John Holmberg]

And the priest wasn't interested either. He had his bevy. No, he didn't need to add any more. There were nobody's. No. All the room was full. It was like the Rahber room. We're not taking any more members. I would have been there.

[Katie Cavey]

What do you got on the list? Waylon Jennings. Good Old boys. For this morning's conversation. I prevail. Five Finger Death Punch. Wash it all away for this whole weekend.

[John Holmberg]

Basically. Water washed all the studs. Rain. Yeah.

[Katie Cavey]

Sleep Token Pumpkins. Iron Maiden. Run to the hills for all the Westsiders.

[John Holmberg]

Allison.

[Katie Cavey]

Chains, Hate, Breed, Destroy Everything Sick from the warning Parkway Drive 50 Cent Pimp P I M P for everything Going on with our sales department. Apparently, our new salesman, AC DC Coffin Kings and Body Count 99 problems.

[Brady]

Never heard of Coffin Kings?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Coffin Kings have.

[Katie Cavey]

Punk band.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah, that weird, punky kind of. They're old men now, aren't they?

[Katie Cavey]

This guy keeps requesting them. Here, I'll pull up a little bit.

[John Holmberg]

I think Coffin Kings were around when Rancid was kind of going strong and. Is this them? Yeah, it's the same old crap. Oh, wait. Maybe not this song. This the one he wants? Yeah, it's the Coffin Cat.

[Katie Cavey]

Oh, that's. I'm sorry.

[John Holmberg]

My bad. Yeah, that's good. This is the wrong band. They should sue the Coffin Kings. Or vice versa.

[Katie Cavey]

No, I believe that's what he asked for, so that's on me.

[John Holmberg]

By the way, outside right now is Jonathan from Verlo Mattress.

[Brady]

I saw the van.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

I'm like, you're getting something delivered.

[John Holmberg]

He's dropping off some meat.

[Brady]

Oh, I thought maybe you'd have a.

[Katie Cavey]

Calm down, Brady.

[John Holmberg]

High protein. It's all for me. It's all for my healthy body. It's gonna be amazing. And I just saw his text. It's like, I'm down for. And by the way, Verlo Mattress is. This dude's been. He's an Arizona guy. I got a couple mattresses for the rental property. You lay down on those things and it's the last mattress you'll ever buy. I'LL tell you right now, it's the last one you'll ever buy because you can change the inside of it. He makes it right there in front of you, and he's got all the stuff inside. He goes, I just figured out, why not make this thing a cover?

[Brady]

It's like Build a Bear for mattresses.

[John Holmberg]

That's what we called it. That's Build a Bear for Mattresses. And you just kind of go in and go, that's a little stiff here. It's a little tight.

[Brady]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

And he changes it, and then you got a mattress, and it comes to your house, and then a few years later, like, that's a little squishy. You put new stuff in.

[Brady]

Does he put a little heart in it?

[John Holmberg]

He can. Nice. He might.

[Katie Cavey]

Can he do different sides, too?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Katie Cavey]

So each side he likes more firm.

[John Holmberg]

And this is ever since Tuft and needle went away, I'm like, all right, I'm getting close to needing new mattresses. This dude came along, and I'm like, what's this?

[Katie Cavey]

I need one of those.

[John Holmberg]

And then those side sleeper pillows. Not to mention, Jonathan has a side of beef from some farm down south, and it's the best meat I've ever had. He doesn't sell it in the mattress store, but he's dropping it off. When you go there to buy a mattress in Glendale, look at Jonathan and say, hey, I'm gonna put a little meat in my mouth while we're in bed together, and he will find meat, and he will give it to you.

[Brady]

You package it up with a mattress.

[John Holmberg]

I'm thinking about buying a whole side of beef. A quarter, actually. But that's. It's. It's so good. I don't even know what the farm is. I'm not going to give the game away for the farm because I don't know. But go talk to Jonathan at Verlo if you want a new mattress and some delicious meats. No one's ever said that before. Yeah, pick one, bird. I don't care.

[Katie Cavey]

Do you want to do that? Guy's coughing cats. I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Katie Cavey]

All right, then.

[John Holmberg]

So much for that.

[Katie Cavey]

I never turned down Parkway Drive.

[John Holmberg]

All right, go for it. Parkway Drive. Vice Grip is the one. All right.

[Katie Cavey]

Yeah, I don't know if we have. I think it's in the system.

[John Holmberg]

Did you just say you're getting meat from a mattress fan? Yeah, I did. I did say that. And it's delicious, and I want more of it. Whenever I see that mattress van go by, when I see the Verlo mattress van go by. I think it's like an ice cream man. And by the way, if that meat's not frozen, I'm eating it right in front of you. I don't need to cook it. You give me some of that ground beef.

[Katie Cavey]

If it's ready to squeeze out, we got a microwave. We'll defrost that thing for you.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, that's fair.

[Katie Cavey]

Done.

[John Holmberg]

And I will eat that, like, cookie dough out of the tube. I love raw meat.

[Katie Cavey]

Katie Cavey's getting excited.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. Yeah. Oh, wait. Dustin's early. Why is Dustin here already? I heard something. Why is the night guy here? Why is everyone from Katie? It must be a meeting at 8. It's Parkway Drive, everybody. It's Vice Grip. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.