09-22-25 - Our Studio Mics Are Possessed - Penis Man Has Struck Again Meaning He's Been At It For 15 Years - We Advocate For The Yuka App Which Tells You How Bad Products Are But It'll Ruin Your World

Summary

Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness – “Our Studio Mics Are Possessed / Penis Man Has Struck Again / We Advocate For The Yuka App”

Date: September 22, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo

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Episode Overview

This episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness starts in chaos: the studio’s microphones and mixing board are on the fritz, leading to comedic confusion as the crew struggles just to get their voices on air. From this technical mess, the show moves into discussions of community oddities like the long-running legend of “Penis Man,” weird protocols around locked-up products at stores, and a deep dive into the life-ruining realities uncovered by the Yuka app—a health product scanner all the hosts reluctantly admit is making them second-guess everything from snacks to deodorant. The episode is a blend of banter, Arizona in-jokes, and playfully frustrated revelations about modern living.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Studio Meltdown and Technical Difficulties

• The episode opens with the cast bemoaning their failing studio equipment, sparking lots of self-deprecating humor and relentless troubleshooting.
  • [02:12] John: “We’re like Brady’s kidneys, we’re just failing left and right over here. Now. That one’s no good.”
  • Microphones arbitrarily switch between hosts; cords dangle everywhere; “The board is on hospice.” (John, [01:36])

2. The Return of “Penis Man”

• The show reminisces about Phoenix’s infamous “Penis Man” graffiti tagger, who’s apparently been at it for over 15 years.
  • [05:08] John: “Penis Man is back and I don’t know who he is, but he’s out there…It’s his handwriting…You’re becoming a Phoenix institution.”
  • Hosts joke about inviting Penis Man to tag their studio building as a badge of honor for the city’s culture.

3. Graffiti, Store Security, and Profiling

• Rambling around the issue of locked-up spray paint and even deodorant at stores, the crew pokes fun at the “security theater” of retail precautions.
  • [08:14] John: “What is the point of locking up the spray paint? …I don’t have to sign a piece of paper saying I just bought black Krylon.”
  • Debate whether it’s to prevent theft or huffing, and how “profiling” comes into play (“That could be. That’s profiling Mexican.”—Brett, [09:21])

4. Hygiene Product Horrors & the Yuka App

• The Yuka app becomes the show’s viral topic: scan any food or cosmetic, get a health score—and prepare to have your favorite products ruined.
  • [13:01] John: “It’s going to ruin your life, I’ll tell you that.”
  • Yuka’s detailed scoring system exposes shocking truths—Kind bars and candy score equally poor, deodorants full of kidney-damaging additives, “healthy” snacks that aren’t.
    • [16:11] John: “You go, saturated fat, calories, additive, sodium. It’s just all brutal.”
  • Team members confess losing trust even in products like Monster Water, Propel, or KIND bars.
  • [18:33] John: “My deodorant is Dove Men+Care long-lasting citrus scent…It is 0 out of 100. It is a diet. I’m not supposed to eat it.”
  • Exploration of aluminum and other chemicals in deodorants and the harsh tradeoff between health safety and body odor.

5. Alcohol, Snacks, and App Paranoia

• Spiraling from snacks to drinks, they jokingly scan vodka, liquid death water, and more with Yuka.
  • [23:58] John: “Tito’s Vodka…Yucca does not rate alcohol, but you already know what you’re doing. How about that?”
  • The existential dread sets in: almost every comfort food or convenience product is “scoring under 30 points.”

6. Classic Banter and Sports Tangents

• After tech and health mayhem, the hosts shift gears with their playlist picks, brief football commentary, and celebrity talk.
  • Discussion of a Charlie Sheen documentary leads to family dynamics, addiction, and pop culture (“He celebrates his sobriety by getting attention for how bad he was, and then usually falls off the wagon shortly thereafter.” — John, [28:04])
  • Sports commentary hits the Giants, Colts’ “Indiana Jones” nickname for their quarterback, and nostalgia for various football personalities.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Studio Snafu

  • John: “Nothing’s like the whole room is screwed up. Shutting down. Like our board is on hospice.” ([01:36])
  • Brady: “We’re like Brady’s kidneys, we’re just failing left and right over here.” ([02:12])

• Penis Man Reverence

  • John: “Penis Man, I highly recommend you come down here…spray paint our building. I think it would be great. It’s an honor, sir. You’re becoming a Phoenix institution.” ([05:08])
  • Brett: “Maybe he’s got a school where he’s training other penis men.” ([07:52])

• Yuka App Revelations

  • John: “Let me start off by saying your curiosity—you’re going to do this, but it’s going to wreck your day.” ([13:01])
  • Brett: “There’s three levels of risk on the additives.” ([13:59])
  • John: “Waterloo Water is the only 100 out of 100 drink I’ve tried so far.” ([14:07])
  • John: “Almost everything’s under 30 points.” ([22:12])

• Deodorant Drama

  • John: “My deodorant is Dove Men+Care long-lasting citrus scent…It is 0 out of 100. I’m not supposed to eat it.” ([18:33])
  • John: “You gotta have something that stops [sweating]. Yeah, antiperspirant is poison that makes your body stop doing what it’s supposed to do.” ([21:09])

• On Beer and Self-Delusion

  • John: “Don’t do beer. Don’t be stupid. You already know that’s not going to be…coming back strong for you.” ([23:38])

• Pop Culture Commentary

  • John: “I don’t know when he turned into Corey Feldman, but they’re the same person now.” ([27:16], about Charlie Sheen)

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Highlighted Segments with Timestamps

• Studio Meltdown: [00:55] – [03:14]
• Penis Man Segment: [04:40] – [07:58]
• Spray Paint & Deodorant Rant: [08:14] – [13:00]
• Yuka App Deep Dive & Product Shaming: [13:01] – [23:53]
• Playlist/Sports/Charlie Sheen: [26:08] – [29:59]

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Tone & Style

The episode is classic Holmberg’s: part technical meltdown, part local color, part health paranoia exposé, with tongue-in-cheek Arizona grumpiness. There is friendly mockery, irreverence, moments of incredulity (“It’s a catastrophe!”), and a healthy dose of resignation about the small annoyances of modern consumer culture.

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TL;DR

The mics are possessed, “Penis Man” graffiti is back, and the Yuka app will destroy your faith in every product you enjoy—from snacks to deodorant. Join John, Brady, and Brett as they roast each other, their equipment, spray-paint store policies, the city of Phoenix, and every supposedly “healthy” product on their shelves. If you want to feel both amused and slightly panicked about your next shopping trip, this episode is for you.

Transcript

[Brady]

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[John]

The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail.

[Brett]

Hello.

[Brady]

Hey, I'm working.

[Brett]

Hello.

[John]

All right.

[Brady]

Hi, everybody. Let's see if Toledo's is working.

[Brett]

Hang on, I'm on.

[John]

Hello. Check.

[Brady]

Is this one on? Does this thing work?

[John]

This one Here. Here.

[Brett]

That one's popping mine.

[John]

Okay, the other way.

[Brett]

Oh, man, this is jousting.

[John]

This is bad. Wow, what a mess. Well, this show might go. This might. This might be a quick jump over to a.

[Brady]

And the wake up song brought to you by Stuff.

[John]

Nothing's like the whole room is screwed up. Shutting down. Like our board is on hospice.

[Brady]

Someone call Nathan Sutherland.

[John]

If Nathan comes in and just. He does one of those things where he just. Yeah, I'm gonna go having sex with that boy. It doesn't make sense. So this is now me here, right? That's gone. This is mine. That's Brady. Yours is off. You gotta go there. Yeah, you. It just moved right in front of you.

[Brett]

Why'd you move, man?

[John]

Well, that one doesn't. No, that one's gone too. Brady's the only one. Brady, it's all you, my friend. Yeah. Good morning, everybody. We're like Brady's kidneys. We're just failing left and right over here. Now. That one's no good.

[Brett]

This one. Hello.

[John]

Hold on a second. Weren't you just when we first started this one? How about that? Go. Hello? Now that's Mic.

[Brady]

Now it's working.

[John]

You're.

[Brady]

You're Mic one.

[John]

That's Mic one.

[Brady]

Oh, Jesus Christ.

[John]

And it's not even on. Look, the light.

[Brady]

No, this light's on from this rigged thing that Toledo made. But it works, so I'm not. I'm not knocking him.

[John]

What's happening in here? Yeah, I have no idea what to do next. Now this is you. That's you. No, that one's. There's no way that's on. That's six and that's turned off. So. Hello. I have all of them on. What? What happened? This one's working. That one is dead. And that is like four. That's. I don't know what that is. Try that again.

[Brett]

Nope, nope.

[Brady]

There's not even a light on that one.

[John]

There's nothing we can do. This is a catastrophe. And I know our engineers. Is he here?

[Brady]

Who knows?

[John]

You go to addition to his house car, he's got a big house attached to the back of his truck. We can't figure out a lot of stuff in there. There's only two reasons for that. Traveling and he doesn't. Kidnapping. And we're not sure there's no reason to have a house on the back of your car at all.

[Brett]

Late night working on the tower up on the mountain. It's a camp out.

[John]

It is a cabin on the back of his truck and it's not being towed. It's attached to the. It's a. It's a house on us. And there's no reason to have that unless you're either stealing kids or you travel a lot and you just don't want to pay for Holiday Inns. And he never leaves.

[Brett]

I'm trying to remember. There's a pretty big window on the side. He could be selling merch out of there.

[John]

Wouldn't he do that with us, though? Wouldn't he hit us up like. You can't sell that kind of stuff and think to yourself, I'm not going to hit my co workers up first. Like, he knows we're all employed. He's got to see us every day. There's a little guilt attached to it. Yeah, he built. Maybe he's doing a. Maybe he's doing a second deck or like a patio or something on the house truck. And he doesn't have time to make like. This is a. This is a shambles. You should see this room right now.

[Brady]

This is ridiculous. Cords hanging, mics swung over the board.

[John]

Sean Rockefeller is one of our listeners and he's blind. I think he could. He'd have a better chance hitting buttons today than me. There's no reason. None of the stuff that says what it Is. Is actually what it is.

[Brady]

It's like, jason your old interns back or something.

[John]

So if I just turn everything up, essentially what's happened here is you and I have switched. And I don't know how or why that's happening, but it is. Anyway, what are you gonna do? We. I digress. It's all good. I wanted to get into this because if you guys remember Penis man running around the town. Oh, yeah, Frank Penis Man. I think he went away. I think they thought they caught Penis Man. I was on. Was it McDowell the other day. Saw Penis Man. Indian school saw Penis Man. A guy named Ryan just emailed me and said saw this graffiti at Cave Creek and Cactus Penis Man. And all he does is take his graffiti and write. Nothing special. It's not like, you know, awesome. It just says Penis man. And. And he did it twice to this building. And he's getting over fences now. There was one I saw where he had actually climb up onto a. Like a. I don't know how they do it. The building and then be able to tag it and tag something that. So it's ridiculous. But Penis man is back and I don't know who he is, but he's. It's the same one as last time. You can't. It's his handwriting. I'm not a handwriting expert, but he's out there. So. Pen Man, I highly recommend you come down here to 1100 North 52nd street, right here at our buildings. And if you go ahead and do it now, I won't tell. Like, I'll just say it's like we could. I just want to watch you work. Put it on the side of our. Highly encourage the actual penis man to come down and spray paint our building. I think it would be great. It's an honor, sir. You've been around for years now. You're becoming a Phoenix institution. You hear that, all you folks from out of town who came for the memorial yesterday? Yeah, we've pretty much accepted that a lot of our buildings will have the words Penis man written on. And that's how cruddy this city is. Now, off you go, back in your planes. Head home now.

[Brady]

How would we tell anybody anyway? The mics barely work. Phones don't work.

[John]

I can't tell on you. We are trapped, Penis Man. In fact, I highly recommend there's a. Was that a Ford? Is that a Lincoln? What do you have there, Brett?

[Brady]

The Lincoln Navigator.

[John]

There you go. There's a Lincoln Navigator, black, next to a Range Rover. Take your choice. I prefer the Range Rover.

[Brady]

I prefer that one.

[John]

Paint Penis man on the side of it. It's in our parking lot. You can't miss it. I think it's a fantastic idea. Leave the black Jeep alone. I'm on your side.

[Brett]

I wonder what made that person decide. You know what? It's time.

[John]

I'm Penis man.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John]

And I'm not very good. I'm gonna at graffiti.

[Brett]

I need to sit out a little bit.

[John]

Yeah. And it's not like he's trying to add to his skills with some sort of art. Just Penis Man. But he's back. This was a problem we had a little while. And I wonder if it's a copycat Penis man or if it's the actual penis man. Because off. He was covering some stuff for a while there. You couldn't go down the street in Phoenix without penis man being written. So now if he's all the way up in Cave Creek and Cactus, he's expanding his territories.

[Brett]

Maybe he's got a school where he's training other penis.

[John]

There are.

[Brett]

Takes about two months to go through.

[John]

The process to learn how to. To hit the E just so and reach different heights. I'll be honest with you, Brady. I think I could grab a can of spray paint, knock this out pretty much exactly as penis man is.

[Brady]

I don't believe it. Let's go get you a can.

[John]

You know what? Let's do it.

[Brady]

Let's do it.

[John]

What is the point? It makes me think of this. What is the point of locking up the spray paint? Because I just recently had to buy some. There's no, like, ID check. There's no reason for it. I don't have to sign a piece of paper saying, I just bought black Krylon.

[Brett]

Is it because do they, you know, is employees, you know, you got to look them over first to see if.

[John]

Yeah, that's the thing.

[Brett]

It would be a visual huff with it or.

[John]

Right. Do I have gold paint all over my face?

[Brady]

You're profiling, basically.

[John]

So you essentially look and go, I'm not selling this guy any. There's never a chance that when you say, I need to get into the spray paint, that they're going to say, no. So why do we lock it up? And the only thing I could think of is they're worried that you're going to use it right there on their store. They don't care what you do once you leave. But Home Depot's probably like, if we have a guy close by, there's a good chance he won't use it. Here. But even just saying it out loud, you realize once the attendant goes away, you start walking around the Home Depot some more. You find a quiet corner, you write penis man in it, and you leave. No one knows why we lock up spray paint. Do they steal it? Is that why? That's.

[Brett]

That could be.

[John]

That's profiling Mexican.

[Brett]

You don't want them. You just don't want those cans walking out the door.

[John]

But the paint can go.

[Brett]

Yeah, you can. You know, you can go get brushes, rollers, and you can walk out all day long. I could paint if you can roll a penis.

[John]

What? I take your challenge seriously, sir, and I will accept Alt az. Yeah, I can roll that penis, my friend. That used to be my nickname in high school, the penis roller. It's a thing. And now I work here. Oh, geez, 93. 3. All the buttons are wrong. I know who's behind this. It's these all Tayz people. They're screwing their stuff anyway, so. Penis man. I welcome. Could you. I guess you could kind of. With the hose. That's a lot of equipment to carry around, though, like a good power sprayer.

[Brett]

Different needle on there from a narrow.

[Brady]

And my buddy Auggie just text me and said Cave Creek and Cactus. The old Circle K got hit.

[John]

Got hit by penis man. That's what I'm looking at right here. The old circle K or 7 11. It's got a lot of green on it. But the. Maybe it's a different picture. It's an old convenience store. Got a fence around it and all that. But it made me wonder, how come we can't have spray paint? It must be because it's the same as deodorant. They lock up deodorant now because people steal it. And I do. I do appreciate that, because my story, which is about a year ago when I went into that CVS there on 16th and Camelback just to go get some delightful it. Actually, I have to thank the guy that did this, the thief pig disgust, because he took me from my normal deodorant and moved me over to a new one. Because he took the Old Spice Fiji, which I like, and popped the cap right there in the aisle and started to put it on and then put it back and even put that little plastic protector back on top. I watched him do the whole thing sickness. And so I looked, and there were only two left. And I'm like, I don't like this at all. So I grabbed some plastic wrap, pack of Three Dove, and it smells better anyway. And it works. It Works great. So he inadvertently made a decision for me. And then I realized I'll never buy deodorant in a single deodorant again because I watched a guy apply it and he was, like, homeless. He was. The deodorant was taking on more of his stink than was giving to the guy. There was no way that that deodorant survived that without. It didn't help him. It hurt.

[Brett]

The deodorant last one I got not too long ago in Gilbert. It wasn't locked up, but it wasn't like a.

[John]

Some deodorant spray. Some do, some don't. The deodorant is something.

[Brett]

I understand that because, you know, like, if you open it up, a lot of times you can tell. I mean, the whole reason is you want to. You're looking for a new scent.

[John]

Do you pay that much attention?

[Brett]

Well, ever since you introduced me to the Yucca app.

[John]

Oh, you have been hit.

[Brett]

Check out deodorants.

[John]

Deodorant on the Yucca app. I don't even think that they have.

[Brett]

You're doing is probably IS zero.

[John]

I guarantee you. Deodorant's terrible.

[Brett]

I looked at the one that I. Oh, no.

[John]

Oh, don't change my life. Yucca ruins everything.

[Brett]

Toothpaste.

[John]

Yep. Oh, toothpaste. I hadn't even thought about.

[Brett]

Shampoo, soap.

[John]

So there's this app that I got introduced to about two weeks ago. I showed the boys. You all right over there? Brett's? Yeah.

[Brady]

This thing's all falling apart. Yeah, he just started.

[John]

I thought he fell down.

[Brady]

We might as well go to evit and start doing stuff over there. Their gear's got to be better than this.

[John]

Even puts money into their equipment. So anyway, the yuck app. Y U K A. We should get money for this. It's going to ruin your life, I'll tell you that. Let me start off by saying your curiosity. You're going to do this, but it's going to wreck your day. You basically take this app and you put it against anything that you eat or put in your mouth or on your body, and you hit the. The.

[Brett]

For me, it's been fantastic because you're.

[John]

Trying to get through.

[Brett]

Well, can I go to the store and get. What can I, you know, restaurant. Anything that you can.

[John]

Trying to stay away from high sodiums, high proteins. You've got, like, a specific thing for people with health issues. The Yucca app's incredible. For people trying to be healthier, it destroys your life. So you take a picture of the barcode and it gives you a score from 0 to 100. And anything over, like 55, it gets into the good range. But then you hit the button, it'll tell you why it's bad. And it's almost always, like these additives and, like, the stuff that's in there. And then they hit. You hit that button, it'll show you all the things that are there. It's.

[Brett]

And there's three levels of risk on the additives.

[John]

Oh, it's the. The bright red ones are the ones where I'm like, I'm not even going to read this anymore.

[Brett]

Blow you away.

[John]

I'm never going to eat in there on the popcorners ever again. The only popcorners, because we have a bags of these that are worth it are barely over the top, and they're the sea salt popcorners. But it wrecks everything. Waterloo Water is the only 100 out of 100 drink that I've tried so far.

[Brett]

There's a. There's a couple now in the flavored water that are at zero.

[John]

So then a lot of them will wreck your teeth. Like there's some sort of acid in it that destroys the enamel of your teeth faster than sugar. Oh, it's the worst. Yucca is a. It's a murderer. But it's so helpful. The best part is, is when you like something, like, let's say you just love something and you want to eat it, and then you yucca app it, it'll tell you, here's a reasonable replacement.

[Brett]

It's nice.

[John]

Which is really good because it's like you're looking for something not this blown away by a few of them. I took a picture of Jen Gardner downstairs, had something called lesser evil Spaceballs. It's a candy, and it was 39 out of 100, which surprised me because.

[Brett]

It was that high or that low.

[John]

It was that, that, that, that. It wasn't a zero.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John]

It's called Spaceballs, and it's got, like cartoons on it. Like, this is going to be terrible. Then I went into the Kind bars, dark chocolate nuts and sea salt minis. And you think to yourself, okay, this is from the company that claims to be healthy. Kind bars are kind of have a reputation of being health. They're in health places, right? Yeah, it's a 39 out of 100, too. So the, the Spaceballs and Kind bars, exactly the same. And then the peanut butter chocolate chip granola chewies, which we have here. They're granola bars.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John]

Or passing themselves as such. 10 out of 100. I mean, this thing is just killing you by the every bite you take.

[Brett]

And it tells you why. The ratings, too.

[John]

You go, saturated fat, calories, additive, sodium. It's got six additives in it, and they're. It's just all brutal. They're all limited risk, but there's tons of them that add up to that. Oh, it's the worst thing ever. I hadn't even thought about deodorant. Like, you could pop deodorant in there easily. And on Saturday, just standing there, taking pictures of that.

[Brett]

Well, down the whole stuff, because like you said, when you. When you look at an item, like, what would be good in this category?

[John]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Like chips. And then it gives you the. Oh, I know you've been striking out on this. Here's something to look at. Yeah.

[John]

What did you. So is that part of your.

[Brett]

I was just curious, because. Just going through scanning products in the house, like, I wonder about this.

[Brady]

You got your deodorant down there. Do you want to test your. Go get it.

[John]

Yeah, go get it. It's in my bathroom. You're gonna love my bathroom, Brett. I. I finally moved back into my office. I was gonna quit. I was pretty much. I had quit this place about three months. Two months ago. Yeah, I had pretty much quit. And I packed up my office. I was done. And. And I had my office packed up. I had some of it packed from last year. I was gonna quit last year, too. But then, you know, it all smoothed out. Everything worked out good. So I put everything back together on Friday. The office is all redone, but I found a very specific picture. I have my own bathroom in my office that no one's allowed to use. And occasionally. And once in the last year, one of the reasons I wanted to quit was that it was. The toilet was broken, and it was.

[Brett]

All.

[John]

Disgusting poops floating in there. It looked like a brown stadium. And I tried to get that fixed up and do that. So then I'm like, well, I need a. Did you see the picture in there?

[Brady]

Yeah, it's looking nice in there.

[John]

Did you see the bathroom?

[Brady]

No, I missed it.

[John]

You missed it?

[Brady]

I just grabbed it and ran out.

[John]

Why? I can't say. Because it's a. It's a dead giveaway that you've been in my bathroom. If you ask me about it.

[Brady]

Hey, you know me. I don't look at anything. I just go and take what I need. I'm out.

[John]

Why do you have a poster of Hitler in your bathroom?

[Brady]

I'd miss.

[John]

That will be when I'd be like, what are you doing in my bathroom? There's no reason for anybody to be in there, so I put a. I put a picture of Hitler in there.

[Brady]

I totally missed don't ask no questions.

[Brett]

There's only one other person really has allowed access to your bathroom.

[John]

Who's that?

[Brett]

Who's ever name on the door. Is she not working?

[John]

Oh, no. Carol Maninsky. She works here, but she's never shown up. She doesn't come to work ever. So my deodorant is the. It's delicious. Dove men care long lasting citrus scent. Oh, it's nice. It is 0 out of 100. It is a diet. I'm not supposed to eat it.

[Brett]

I went down the line on all the deodorant. Most stuff that. That you see in the store because.

[Brady]

They say there's aluminum in it and stuff like that.

[John]

Loads of aluminum Sesquich, Lore hall, hydraulic sesquatch, Laurel, Hydra. I mean, there's stuff you can't pronounce. Chunks of bigfoot in it. Wow.

[Brett]

Which you think yeti is all natural.

[John]

Something called BHT, which is a butylated hydro oxy 2 toe lewine. It's used for cosmetics and antioxidants. Been potential. Oh, it could be. Its toxicity could affect the liver, kidneys and lungs. You got to be careful with all this. Did someone tell you be careful with deodorant?

[Brett]

No.

[John]

You should be because that's two in a row. Two of their ingredients are like a major kidney effect. Yeah, this one too, like whatever.

[Brett]

It's the last day. Cyclopent deodorant I'm using right now because the new one's being rid of it. Delivered today, so.

[John]

But the good thing about the Yucca app is it says, all right, hello, unicorn. Deodorant looks a little gay. I'll tell you, even the. It's got a rainbow.

[Brady]

Yeah, that's.

[John]

But they smell good. The gays smell good.

[Brett]

You know?

[Brady]

You know, make sure you cover up smells.

[John]

I don't think this makes you gay, Brett, Unless someone sees you using it.

[Brady]

Well, there you go. Perception is reality.

[John]

Sweet. Coconut is 93 out of 100. Not using that. Yeah, the deodorant. Wow. Dove has one that's claiming to be not like all other deodorants. And it's 50. Oh, it's brutal. This app will destroy your Life.

[Brady]

So over 50 is good.

[John]

Well, over 50 starts leaning into it's better than not. Okay, you want to get into the high ends to be good. But I mean, you. You hit some stuff that's these. These beef sticks that everybody's going nuts over. These protein beef sticks that's everywhere all of a sudden. They're amazing. They're terrible. I see it. They're terrible. Everything you just. What you're supposed to do is just drink Waterloo water and eat Brady's deodorant. That's it. Those are the two things you're allowed. And it just makes you realize all the food we eat is garbage. And it's horrifying. So as I tell you about the Yucca app, I also tell you, don't do it to yourself. It's gonna make you realize that everything you do is bad. It's terrible.

[Brett]

But they lock stuff that I have ordered.

[John]

Tom's. I've heard Tom's is good, but you're gonna stink. The Tom's rocks and stuff.

[Brady]

Yeah, those. I tried those before. They don't work.

[John]

They don't do anything.

[Brett]

Northwoods now, I went after. It's tougher on antiperspirant.

[John]

That's what we're talking about. Yeah. Deodorant is. Yeah. You gotta have something that stops us. Yeah.

[Brett]

There's only like two or three that have really good ratings. At least what I saw.

[John]

No, antiperspirant is poison that makes your body stop doing what it's supposed to do. Anything that stops your body from its natural function is bad for you.

[Brett]

So the Toms had a good. An excellent.

[John]

The antiperspirant or just the. The rocks that are supposed to keep you from sweating and all that. It's no good.

[Brett]

Remember, remember we'd go through phases. I remember early on. Like, let's try this one out. Oh, come in with dinner plates under your arms.

[John]

Made it worse. Like it put a muzzle on your armpits. Yeah. So get the yak out. But beside that and a nice diversion there to give. Yuck. It just made a ton of app people, their customers. Now, I swear to God, you're gonna hate it as you're downloading it. Just sit and go. John told me I'd hate this. And then when you're eating something out of a vending machine, you want to feel bad about yourself and you start scoring. The food you eat. Almost everything's under 30 points.

[Brett]

And if you want Yucca prime, it's a donation.

[John]

Is that true?

[Brett]

Fifteen bucks.

[John]

There's extra prime a year.

[Brett]

I call it Yucca Prime. Basically, you can list your not only scam, but it can. It has other apps that you can. Or other avenues to go down to set up your. IT records. What you're doing what you bought so.

[Brady]

You can buy it like it's a.

[Brett]

The. I guess it's a donation. You can start at 15 bucks. I think you can go like for the year.

[John]

It gives you all the options. You mean?

[Brett]

Yeah, but you pull up your. The app and. And see on the profile.

[John]

You're gonna make me work.

[Brett]

Yeah, you do it later.

[John]

Okay, well, no, now I want to know.

[Brady]

John just downloaded and scanned healthy.

[John]

Become a premier member. Then do what just does.

[Brady]

Just download and scan the healthy quote unquote. Celsius drinks 39 scores. Son of a bitch. You're ruining me now.

[Brett]

Yeah. Check out the energy drinks. It does show you there are.

[John]

You know what else was a killer on those? I hate to do this to him, but Monster Waters are terrible.

[Brady]

It's water.

[John]

That's what I said. But the. What's in there is they add a little like thing to each one. It's like that's the thing. Just puts it over the top.

[Brady]

Damn it.

[John]

I know, but it's. They're still great. It doesn't make them bad. Yeah, no, no. It just makes you double think all your stuff. Don't do a beer. Do not do beer. Don't be stupid. You already know that's not going to be. That's not coming back strong for you.

[Brady]

Let's go grab that bottle of Tito's and let's see where that's.

[John]

Go get it. I got it. I wonder if Tito's is good.

[Brady]

It's supposed to be like distilled 10 times.

[John]

Yeah, yeah. Go get my Tito's bottle. Let's see how this goes. Oh my God, Brady, look at your monster's water.

[Brett]

But you're a liquid death.

[John]

Yeah, that's fine. That's just plain.

[Brett]

It's under. Good. The liquid death sparkling 19 water is excellent.

[John]

Yeah. The one that. The ones you got to worry about the most are the ones that say zero or ultra light or something like that on them. Those are all just fooling you. This app is. Is. This one was the electrolyte water beverage propel. And it's. It's an electric. It's like the one thing they say they add to just plain water is electrolytes.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John]

And it's a little bit of a watermelon natural flavoring. 40 out of 100. It was terrible. And it was all that. They had 10 different additives and some of them were like super high risk, especially for you, Brady polyphosphates and stuff like that.

[Brett]

You're not allowed to have Any of that.

[John]

All right. Brett's gonna bring vodka and ruin my life. You're gonna wreck.

[Brett]

I don't. Jameson, I don't think the alcohol will.

[John]

All right, let's see. You don't know. There it is. Tito's Vodka. They don't rate alcohol. Yeah, you know what you're doing? It said, literally, it says, yucca does not rate alcohol, but you already know what you're doing. How about that? So what are you gonna do? Anyway? They're locking up our spray paint. They're locking up our deodorant. Our engineers here to take a look at this nightmare that's going on in this room that's decided to just flippity flop everything. Let's get to a Wake up song and let Dave do his works.

[Brady]

We're going around Wake Up Song brought to you by Action Ride Shop. The boys are. They're ready for you guys. I mean, we're starting to hit the 90s next week, and it's time to hit those trails. And best way to do it is to get that bike serviced and ready to go. Best wrenches in town can be found at Action Ride Shop, the OG right there on Gilbert Road in Southern. And of course, power Road and McDowell, the brand new store. And if you want to pick up a new bike, they got some great deals going on right now, some demo bikes. You can rent bikes. If you just want to check it out, see if it's for you, check them out online. Actionrideshop.com and since I didn't expect us to go on the list that quick, we'll just go off the Facebook thing. So we got Suicidal, institutionalized, Blind Melon, Velvet Revolver.

[John]

Why Blind Melon?

[Brady]

I don't know. No rain for a good Monday. It's gonna rain 6am Alestorm, pirate metal Drinking Crew.

[John]

Is that someone with Heidi Fleiss? What was that picture? I don't know.

[Brett]

Does look like Heidi Fleiss. But it's not.

[John]

It's not. But it looks like her a little bit. I watched some of that Charlie Sheen, the first episode.

[Brady]

How is it?

[John]

That's actually really entertaining. Super engaging. I've only watched episode one.

[Brett]

It's like.

[John]

Did you watch the whole thing?

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John]

I don't. I don't know how you do it. How about.

[Brett]

I know it's long. It's like the Billy Joel thing takes days.

[John]

I can't do that stuff like that.

[Brady]

How about the. The warning Sick for the Cardinals? Because it kind of seems like where they're at.

[John]

Perfect. I'm Fine with that. Is there one called the warning Suck? Because that's what I'm going to look at for the Cardinals. Long as they got Kyler Murray at.

[Brett]

The helm after the documentary. And he's getting the recognition.

[John]

Charlie.

[Brett]

Charlie is getting a little more, you.

[John]

Know, because out there, see him again.

[Brett]

He knows how to fix the void. Voided spot on abc.

[John]

How put the Charlie Sheen show on. People would watch it for sure. He's not wrong. Yeah, strike while the iron's hot.

[Brett]

He made that announcement.

[John]

I don't know when he turned into Corey Feldman, but they're the same person now. It's really strange. Like, everything he does, he looks and speaks and moves like Corey Feldman. Corey's somehow or another still a bigger wiener. But something about him is. Again, it's that engage. I would never be friends with him. Charlie Sheen, because he's engaging and charming and everything else. But if you're not paying attention to what he's done in the past with engaging and charming, you don't see his future. He's got to live his life the way it is now. There's no possible way. I'm like, well, you learned your lesson this time. He's burned everybody year.

[Brett]

And that's why his. I mean, Martin Sheen.

[John]

Wouldn't he be.

[Brett]

Mom and dad have been amazing parents of the whole thing. And Emilio wouldn't be it because they've.

[John]

Gone through we know what this three times.

[Brett]

And they're like, you know what? Good luck to you.

[John]

He celebrates his sobriety by getting attention for how bad he was and then usually falls off the wagon shortly thereafter. We've seen this movie. Charlie, you've gotta. You gotta be SOBER for about 25 years before anybody.

[Brett]

I love you. I just hope it stays just.

[John]

We're. We're not. We're not celebrating anything about you. This.

[Brett]

You're not getting my kidney.

[John]

There's an awful lot of. No, there's an awful lot of laughing and having fun with his behavior that I'm sure the family's like, you put us through hell and here you are. Oh, great stuff with Nick Cage. It's a really good documentary, but it makes you go, wow, I would fall for this. Like, if Charlie Sheen wanted to hang out. I'm sure he's pretty engaging and nice. Most drug addicts are. My cousin, who was a severe, heavy drug addict, was one of the most charming people you'll ever meet. They have to be. They're sociopaths. They're trying to win you over so you don't judge Them, and then they'll take from you like this. You give them a little bit. So I'm sure the Estevez Sheen household is basically, like, good for you, Charlie. Don't bother us with this. We're your. We're your family. We're Christmases. We're birthdays.

[Brett]

The least known family member, Ramon, his oldest brother.

[John]

He was in it.

[Brett]

I'll participate.

[Brady]

This one. There's another one. I thought it was just the two.

[John]

Two sisters, too. Oh, no kidding or what? Just one or two.

[Brett]

I think it's total kids.

[John]

Got me. Charlie's got five kids of his own. I didn't know about, man. Yeah, it was. It's a. It's pretty remarkable documentary. And Heidi flies is a disaster. What's with the birds?

[Brett]

They match her.

[John]

What was. No, I mean, like, seriously, like, somebody diet.

[Brett]

The reason why the. She has a bird rescue.

[John]

Yeah.

[Brett]

And some of those, like, some aren't gonna make it. Yeah.

[John]

Her rescue is, like, just like Mother Teresa's house feathers.

[Brett]

It's like cartoon characters.

[John]

I don't know that she's taking care of them. They're bald. They're balder than I am. Parrots with, like, colorful heads and no body hair.

[Brett]

Yeah. It looks like they were paired up.

[John]

I thought birds had blood feathers that. You plucked that one and they bleed out.

[Brett]

Well, I just know, like, if I killed them the right diet and stuff, they'll start losing their feathers.

[John]

Well, that's what Heidi's doing. Somebody needs to look into that place because that was. That was Joe. Exotic as well. Another thing we need to talk about before Dave gets to work here on this room. If you're a Giants fan, why I'm watching Daniel Jones, and I'm not a nickname guy, but Indiana Jones is pretty awesome. I have to say that I really enjoy. He's living up to it. Indiana Jones out there in Indianapolis 3. And. Oh, you look at that. Saquon Barkley was the best player in football last year and probably again will be considered that or close to it this. This season. Giants had both of them and quit on them both. There's a certain moment where you've just. You have to stop being a fan. And this might be it, because they're looking at Jackson Dart going, he's the future. I'm like, ah. What? They had the future. They had Saquon Barkley, for God's sakes. And they're like, we're not paying that guy. Forget it. And Cam, scatter. Boo's fun, but I want to talk to Cam and See if I might text Cam and just go. Not for nothing, but does it suck as bad as everyone thinks it does? Because I have a feeling inside you feel like it's great, but something's really wrong with that team in a huge way. To have that much talent and then just watch it walk out, and it's got to kill you.

[Brett]

You don't think they're going through. This is a building.

[John]

No, they were building with Saquon Barkley and Indiana Jones. What a great nick name.

[Brett]

Every run is an adventure.

[John]

He had. Yeah. He had to go to Indianapolis to become Indiana Jones, and he is now. And it's working. But it reminds me a little bit of Don Makowski, the magic man, cuz.

[Brett]

Hey, get your two years.

[John]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Get.

[John]

Get your money and do have your flash. And then go back to being magic. Yeah, well, Fitz Magic was just a. He was a goof. Nobody could.

[Brett]

He did it on so many teams.

[John]

But it was amazing. 16 teams. Anyway, you pick a song. Brett, let's get to.

[Brady]

Let's just do like we were saying. We'll just do the warning. Sick.

[John]

Done.

[Brady]

I got it.

[John]

You do?

[Brady]

Unless you got it in there Now.

[John]

I don't know if any of these buttons. All right, let's see if you've got it or if I've got it. Hey, there it is. It's the morning, everybody. It's your wake up song. It's 98Kp. We got to fix the whole room in 10 minutes. Good luck. Hey, it's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee. I have heard enough of this.