09-22-25 - WWBD - His Wife Has Stopped Flushing When She Pees - He Gave His Son His First Car Jeep CJ7 - Her MIL Calls Her Husband Every Morning And She's Tired Of It

Summary

Podcast Summary – Holmberg's Morning Sickness – 09-22-25

Episode Theme:
In this lively episode of “What Would Brady Do?” the guys tackle listener conundrums ranging from bathroom etiquette gone wild and emotional car handoffs to mother-in-law meddling and the “too long” sex complaint. True to the show’s irreverent style, John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo mix banter, blunt advice, and below-the-belt humor while dissecting the absurdities of both relationships and family life.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

“What Would Brady Do?” Segments

1. Wife Refuses to Flush or Dispose Properly

• [08:03] Listener Email: Carlos writes in frustrated that his wife leaves unflushed pee and improperly disposed feminine hygiene products, plus she’s recently gone full hippie (including patchouli and water-saving habits).
• Brady’s Take ([08:03]):
  • "Oh, I'm sorry, my friend. There's no solving that."
  • Not much hope for change; he suggests Carlos has been right to set boundaries but "sometimes, you just gotta run."
• Holmberg’s Rant ([08:25]):
  • “Quick announcement to everyone...you think you not flushing the toilet in the morning is going to save this place? You're wrong. Flush the goddamn toilet.”
  • Insists not flushing is “pig behavior” and saving water this way is pointless.
  • Suggests Carlos should retaliate by also leaving dirty things behind: “Take great dumps, leave those for her, then wipe your ass and put it in the trash.” ([11:15])
• Bret’s Warning ([11:22]):
  • If the mess escalates, it can turn into a “poop battle. This is over.”
• Light Solutions:
  • Switch to better trash cans, wrap items well, or—even more humorously—send her to a life coach or therapist.

2. Heirloom Jeep CJ7 Given to Son, Now Trashed

• [13:10] Listener Email: Charles passed his first car, an ‘84 Jeep CJ7, to his son, only to find it filled with vape shop stickers and Arby’s bags. He wants it back.
• Brady’s Perspective ([13:15]):
  • “Only thing you can do is be a parent and coach him on how to take care of the car. I don't see that…you gave him the car.”
  • Offers parental advice, but admits Charles is dealing with a “pig boy.” ([14:36])
• Holmberg’s Solution ([13:25]):
  • Take the car back, replace it with a beater or give cash if possible. “You can't give an heirloom to somebody and watch him wreck it…if you can't let go, get it back.”
• Group Consensus ([16:09]):
  • Until he respects the ride, he doesn’t get to keep it.
  • “Let him wreck something of his own.” ([13:36])
  • Tips: Remove stickers, clean up—and next time, don’t gift something you’re still so attached to.

3. Mother-in-Law Texts Husband Every Morning

• [17:07] Listener Email: Ran’s husband gets daily texts from his mother, making Ran feel sidelined. Wonders if she can set boundaries.
• Initial Confusion: The hosts briefly misunderstand, then confirm it’s the husband’s mother, not an ex-wife.
• Brady’s Assessment ([17:16]):
  • “That's a little mama's boy, like.”
  • Advises: “Gotta taper that down a little bit,” but warns it’ll cause tension if the wife presses the issue.
• Holmberg’s Blunt Take ([18:26]):
  • “You can't be jealous of your own mother in law…he loves her more than you. That's his mom. She's staying. You might not. Suck it up, broad.”
  • Emphasizes: mothers and wives are different roles; don't try to compete.
• Brady on Family Dynamics ([18:40]):
  • “Bride never feels she's…to the standards of the mother…they gotta accept that.”

4. Husband Lasts “Too Long” in Bed ([19:34])

• [19:34] Listener Email: Complaint from wife: after years together, now 30–45 min is too long; she’d prefer 7–10 min.
• Brady’s Humor ([20:26]):
  • “You're not gonna win on any of those situations…she’ll complain either way.”
  • Encourages to “appreciate you can do that right now,” as aging often results in shorter performance.
• Holmberg’s Diagnosis ([21:05]):
  • Flips it: Maybe he’s not attracted to her; maybe it’s her issue.
  • Offers sexual communication tips: discuss preferences, try new things, remember mutual satisfaction.
• Lively Banter:
  • “If you're stroking for 45 minutes, you got a micro pee pee, dude.” ([23:32]) — audience comment read on air.
  • The group riffs on feedback, joke about infrequency and excitement, and the classic “too long/too short” paradox.

Bonus Banter & Notable Exchanges

• [00:50] Classic HMS Button Fumbles:
  Early technical confusion and banter about studio mishaps set the tone—"The buttons are everywhere and they're doing what they want."
• Discussion on Parental Trust & Teen Dating ([04:35]):
  Surfaces while Brady talks about his daughter’s homecoming—joking about trust, kids sneaking around, and classic homecoming photos.
• On Cleanliness and Heritage ([09:53]):
  Holmberg riffs on country-specific toilet habits and cultural cleanliness—"Start doing that...put it in the bathroom trash and let her discover that."

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Timestamps: Important Segments

• 00:50–03:12: Opening banter, HMS team dynamic, technical chaos
• 08:03–11:22: Advice for Carlos and the unflushed pee saga
• 13:10–16:11: Father vs. son Jeep drama
• 17:07–19:07: Mother-in-law texting battles
• 19:34–25:05: 45-minute sex complaint and relationship advice
• Throughout: Frequent asides and ball-busting, especially about parenting, cleanliness, and sexual prowess

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Memorable Quotes

• Holmberg ([08:25]):
  "You think you not flushing the toilet in the morning is going to save this place? You're wrong. Flush the goddamn toilet."
• Brady ([13:15]):
  "Only thing you can do is be a parent and coach him on how to take care of the car."
• Holmberg ([13:25]):
  "You can't give an heirloom to somebody and watch him wreck it…if you can't let go, get it back."
• Holmberg ([18:26]):
  "He loves her more than you. That's his mom. She's staying. You might not. Suck it up, broad."
• Brady ([20:26]):
  "You're not gonna win on any of those situations. She'll either complain one way or complain the other."
• Show Banter ([23:32]):
  "If you're stroking for 45 minutes, you got a micro pee pee, dude."

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Tone & Style

• The show is irreverent, direct, and deeply playful, with the hosts never shying away from politically incorrect jokes or oversharing. There's plenty of ball-busting, playful misogyny, and a tongue-in-cheek attitude toward most problems—always through the lens of “guy talk” mornings.

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Summary Takeaways

Flush your toilets, respect family heirlooms, set (reasonable) in-law boundaries, and remember: relationship complaints—especially around sex—are a no-win battle but demand open (and occasionally hilarious) communication.

This episode is rich with that unique HMS blend: part advice, part therapy session, part comedy roast.

Transcript

[A]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition, and accessories.

[B]

Homburg's morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. I just started Rock Wars. You guys want to play Rock wars real quick? I hit the wrong button. It's because nothing has worked all morning. I'm afraid of all of it. We'll figure it out for.

[C]

I'll go with up, up and away.

[B]

That's a good one. Brady. You go back with basic one and there's breast. The whole room is just kind of caved in around us this morning. It's been a real. It's a tragedy. This is what I meant to hit. I'm sorry. There we go. What would Brady do? The buttons. The buttons are everywhere and they're doing what they want. That one was on me, though.

[C]

But ends.

[B]

I don't like buttons. It's time now for Brady to solve all the world's problems. It's called what would Brady do? And it's brought to you by our friends, our good friends at MO Money Pawn MMP guns. Went over there with Brett just the other day and watched Brett buy a thing that was awesome in MMP guns. You built it yourself?

[A]

Yeah, that was the one I built.

[B]

Yeah. And now you've got additions.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Which was really cool. I don't understand what you bought, but there were two pieces and one goes on to another thing and it clips on this. And then they showed a video how it works now, and it was unreal. It turned a Ferrari into a super fast Ferrari.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

And they'll do that. And then actually, what's crazy about it was. Who are you talking to? It was a guy's name, Craig. Craig.

[A]

Yeah. He pretty much runs everything.

[B]

Dude, Craig knows every ounce of everything to the point where I was just nodding like, yeah, that's right. The 5.7 egonculator on the trip hostels got a lot of flak torque on it. Right. I had no idea what that. That dude could have been speaking Chinese. I had no clue. But you seem to understand it.

[A]

Not as well as he does. But that's the best part is you don't need to like, they'll. They'll walk you through it. And if you don't know, they'll. They'll educate you.

[B]

Experts. I tells you experts. And I sat and watched it happen. And I think Brett was nodding a lot too. Yeah. Whatever it takes. I want the I can only imagine.

[C]

The people that just came in at the. Just got done watching a John Wick movie.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[C]

Can I. Yeah.

[B]

We got to get the fact height. Got to get the fact height just right on that. On that clip. Omron, you know I'm talking about. You don't know what these things are. I mean, come on. Called yourself an expert.

[A]

Craig will translate that.

[B]

Craig just. Yeah, he just. He started talking. I'm like, yup. That seemed. I'm gonna go stand over. And I went and did what I'm good at, which is just stare at pictures. These guys were talking about stuff I didn't understand. I'm like, I'm go check something else out. And the next thing you know, I'm buying a Steelers memorabilia, because that I understand. Otherwise, I'm a complete waste of space. But they're not M and P guns right there. 12th street in Indian School. They'll walk you through. And if you've got questions, you're talking to the right guy. Craig and all the crew, they know what they're doing, and they can talk you right through what you need and talk you out of what you don't need, which I've actually had them do with me before, which is great. Head on over there. 12th street and Indian School. MMP. Guns right inside mo money palm. Brady, Are you prepared?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Brady had the big weekend with homecoming. No nerves, no nothing.

[C]

Not too much.

[B]

No. Nothing about the this kid's got trouble written all over him kind of face or.

[C]

No, he's.

[B]

No, no hormones in the back of the golfer's bus that drove him to the dance.

[C]

They took Kirby's car.

[B]

Does Kirby. Oh, did she drive?

[C]

No.

[B]

Oh, he drove her car?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You let that happen. Where's his car?

[C]

Parked out in front of the house.

[A]

With this broke dick.

[B]

What the. Why didn't he drive?

[C]

Then there's three of them. There's another guy that went over there. They picked him up so he could go get up with his date.

[A]

Oh, her car isn't that big.

[C]

Yeah, I know. That's their choice. It was between a Nissan crew cab truck and the. The Mustang.

[B]

Why didn't she drive?

[C]

We offered her that.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

You were gonna let the kid drive your car.

[C]

Those kids wanted to take her car.

[B]

They wanted to drive? Well, yeah.

[A]

They don't want to fumigate the weeds.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, because that one already has the weed stinking.

[C]

That's a good point.

[B]

Yeah. Hey, man, we'll take my ride since it already smells like an ash tree. Man.

[C]

Have Fun.

[B]

I'll be in bed in 20 minutes. Were you in bed before they left?

[C]

No.

[B]

When you saw them off?

[C]

They're leaving. We, you know, did some pictures.

[B]

I was gonna say those weird front yard pictures. Oh, the worst. Five o' clock and it's the worst pictures ever. Are always those homecoming and prom front yard of everybody's house pictures. Oh, ridiculous. Mom's crying.

[C]

No. No tears.

[B]

She didn't. Ronnie didn't seep.

[C]

No.

[B]

Most chicks, it is.

[C]

It is the last homecoming.

[B]

This is it. This is it. And you're pretty sure nothing. Does she talk to you about that stuff? Does she talk to you, Ronnie, about like. Like making out with boys and things like that?

[C]

No, not that.

[B]

That's what I was talking about.

[C]

Yeah, I thought you meant like his. Are there kids drinking or doing stuff?

[B]

No. No. Well, she's one of them. All girls and boys will tell their parents. Well, I don't do it, but all these kids I'm around to.

[C]

I did find like three bottles of Listerine in her car.

[B]

Yeah, she's drinking that. She's well past the alcohol. She's now just an alcoholic. She doesn't come to. I was never like that with my parents. They didn't know anything about the kissing.

[C]

She doesn't like. We don't.

[B]

Dude, griller on. Are you.

[C]

Yeah. You do ask questions.

[B]

Is it more about what's going on here? Yeah. You guys making out? Is it like, how far are we going here?

[C]

Did you get a smooch? Good night. Oh, on the date.

[B]

So you kept it cute?

[C]

No. Friends. We're friends.

[B]

Okay. That's a better answer than if she just said, did you get a smooch? Good night. She goes where? Yikes. Did your kid go to proms and stuff? Yeah. Oh, yeah. They had gay prompts. I'm kidding. Alex. No. Did they. Did he go? Yeah. Were you worried about a potential teenage mistake?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Okay. Yes. Brady's not. You should be, though. I told you that.

[C]

Is that kind of an insult to Kirby?

[B]

Huh?

[C]

Is that kind of an insult?

[B]

No, it's a teenage thing. They love that stuff.

[C]

No, that he's not worried is.

[B]

Maybe you're right. Maybe the dad doesn't think you. You've got no game is what.

[C]

I trust her judgment.

[B]

We shouldn't. Or 17. That's stupid.

[C]

She's made to her senior year, so.

[B]

You know who else doesn't trust her judgment? The entire United States. Because she's not even allowed to have a say in an election.

[C]

Just get through graduation, then we'll welcome.

[B]

Yeah, I told my friend who's got a 17 year old daughter and I met her boyfriend a week ago and I said, you know what the best thing of this is because they were all sweet to each other and being funny and you know, you could tell there's a lot of. There's a desire to be all over each other, but they were kind of behaving. And I said, you know what's great about this? I said to my friends Mark and Kristen, I said, because you guys are Catholics, so when she's full of triplets, you guys have to act like it's a blessing. You can't do a thing about it. Oh, we're three times blessed. 16 year age gap. That's going to be fun. Here we go. Well, good. I'm glad Kirby's not making you nervous because my stomach hurts thinking about drive me nuts. Dear Brady, my wife is a pig. She refuses to not properly dispose of her feminine hygiene products as I have asked a million times. She's also not flushing her pee anymore because she read online that it wastes water. I agree. If I see one more bloody rag in the garbage or a weird girl pee with paper dissolving in my toilet, I'm gonna snap. She's also into patchouli now as her favorite smell. But let's deal with this one thing at a time. Help a brother out. Carlos, how do you solve that problem that she's gone hippie years into your marriage? Full hippie.

[C]

Oh, I'm sorry, my friend. There's no solving that.

[B]

You don't want to solve it?

[C]

No.

[B]

You can just give her half and you run.

[C]

He's been doing the right thing, saying, hey, can you at least flush the toilet?

[B]

Yeah, look at how big the earth.

[C]

Well, if he sees it, then he can flush the toilet.

[B]

Oh, no, no, no.

[A]

You shouldn't have to see, shouldn't have.

[B]

That's what you do with children and then you go get them and you say you flush this toilet. You don't flush for her, by the way. Quick announcement to everyone on the planet who thinks they're saving it themselves. Take a, take a quick peek at like, I don't know, Neil Armstrong on the moon when he's looking back at the planet. You think you not flushing the toilet in the morning is going to save this place? You're wrong. Flush the goddamn toilet in the morning's.

[C]

One thing I understand. Some. Sometimes people go night. If you're getting up two or three.

[B]

Times, flush the toilet, go to the other bathroom, flush It. Flush it.

[C]

If you're worried about waking up your partner, you're not.

[B]

Flush the toilet. If they get mad at you for flushing the toilet, just tell them, hey, I did that for you. If you have to get up and go to the bathroom and you got to look at somebody else's pee, it's disgusting. Flush the toilet. You're not saving the planet one non flush at a time. That's pig behavior. You know what? I.

[C]

His name's anti doom goblin.

[B]

Huh?

[C]

You're an anti goblin.

[B]

I'm not an anti goom. You're. You're an absolute. I. I kind of am, too, actually. You're a ridiculous moron to think that you not flushing once saves the planet somehow. Stop. And I know your argument is, but if we all do it, it'd be a gross, smelly, disgusting place to live called India. They don't flush either. You want that or you want what we got going on?

[A]

Call Cordell. And Cordell immediately.

[B]

Or his name was.

[C]

Might not be fixable.

[A]

That's what I'm saying.

[B]

It's fixable.

[C]

I think it is, too, but.

[B]

And I know how. His name's Carlos. That's a Mexican name, right? That's a rich heritage. And I've been told this by Mexican people, that a lot of the times they just throw their toilet paper in the trash.

[C]

And here's a little.

[B]

Start doing that and start telling her, I'm with you. I want to save this too. And every time you have a deuce wipe and put it in the bathroom trash and let her discover that when you. In between her rogue tampons and her unflushed toilets, instead the other little fix.

[C]

A little baby step if you haven't done that is in the bathroom or whatever, you have lid closing trash cans, not the small opened, ended one.

[B]

Well, if it's open. Well, no, because that's just. You still got to open it and see when you need to throw something away. It's disgusting.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So then it's like a big surprise, like a jack in the box of dirty old tampons wrap them up disposal thing. How about you put it in toilet paper and wrap those up so they just look like toilet paper and it's not some murder scene in the. In the disgusting.

[A]

Send her to a life coach.

[B]

There's that, too. Send her to a therapist. Let me give you Katrina's number.

[C]

Let's just set up like a little roller like they have at the grocery store in the produce area. You have the bags. Tear it, put it in there.

[B]

Then bag it up.

[C]

Bag it.

[B]

I say take great dumps, leave those for her, and then wipe your ass and put it in the trash.

[C]

What I'm saving.

[A]

She might try to outdo you and just keep going with it, and then you're stuck.

[B]

Strong point made by Brett that if she starts dropping deuce and you're dropping deuces on top of each other.

[C]

Poop battle.

[B]

Yeah, that's right. This is over.

[A]

Yeah, it's done. Goodbye.

[B]

She's not who you met, and. And originally she's some weird hippie. Now who.

[C]

Well, the patchouli wants to.

[A]

The next Pachuli right there.

[B]

I don't know how you can live with that. Oh, I get mad at the bathroom stuff. Flush the damn toilet. Flush it. If it's mellow, let. If it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown, send it down. No, if it came out of me and it's in the water, flush it. I don't have a cute rhyme for that. Holmberg's morning sickness. Dear Brady, I gave my son my very first car, a 1984 CJ7. Oh, I was just looking at that. Those. He graduated high school back in May, and I gave it to him. I was in the garage the other day just admiring my very first car and noticed that my son has put stickers for a vape shop on the back of it. John, you love Jeeps. You know that? It's a relationship between a man and his Jeep. I passed it down. I looked inside the Jeep, and it's littered with trash, Arby's boxes and bags. I want my Jeep back. I realized over the weekend it's mine, not his. How do I go about this without becoming the devil? The Jeep needs to come back before he officially ruins everything it represents to me. Charles. Oof.

[C]

You gave him the car to begin with, right?

[B]

Yep.

[C]

Only thing you can do is be a parent and coach him on how to take care of the car. I don't see that. I mean, you gave him the car.

[B]

Because you can take it back. You're the dad.

[C]

There's the. First of all, you take that action to begin with. If you're not gonna clean this car or keep it, keep up with it, then I'm taking the car back.

[B]

But he's seen the writing on the wall, that the kid has no emotional tie to this car, and he does. He made the mistake of giving something he's emotionally tied to to his son. Yeah, he's got to get it back. You can't do that. You can't give an heirloom to somebody and watch him wreck it. Well, you can't. If you do, if you want to, you have to just let go. If you can't let go, get it back. Give the kid.

[C]

That's what I'm saying. Either you let go of that.

[B]

You got to go buy him a car.

[A]

I give the kid a couple thousand bucks.

[B]

Go.

[C]

Here you go.

[A]

I'm taking the car back. You buy your own.

[B]

She belongs to me again. Here's $2,500.

[C]

Might not have that choice, but if you. If you can. But.

[B]

And then spend. Oh, you've got that choice. And then spend the next hour or two with a hairdryer and some soap, warm, soapy water. And get that goddamn vape sticker off that 84 CJ7.

[C]

I think you got bigger fish to fry if there's a vape sticker on there now.

[B]

People love that stuff. It's totally legal. It's not like.

[C]

I know. But if. Yeah, well, I got to believe a guy's particular about how you take care of your car.

[B]

He's a pig. You've got a pig boy. Just get your car back. Let him wreck something of his own.

[A]

Just the kid of that. That broad that's not flushing the toilets. Not too. Both pigs.

[B]

Like, I have a real solution for Carlos with his girl not flushing the peas. She thinks that she's saving water. So what you tell her is you think it's gross. So in order to not have to see it, you're going to have to start flushing the toilet every time you go to the bathroom before you even lift the lid up. So it's actually double flushing in the house. So even if she hasn't gone, he's flushing it no matter what. That's kind of a good idea. Let's go. Look, you make me double flush, which I normally I would flush constantly just to make up for the time. She's not.

[C]

I think it's worthwhile for the guy to go over and say how much this car means to him.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And then, you know, get on him about cleaning the Jeep. And maybe you can, you know, maybe he's never done it before. Look, it's not hard, but just take it back. You walk through the clean. How you like this. How. This is what I did when I owned the car.

[B]

I don't think the kid cares, because an example wasn't.

[A]

He didn't put any money into it. He didn't. He's got no. You know.

[B]

Right.

[C]

It was well, it doesn't mean that he did necessarily, because what if his parents gave him a car? The one thing they taught me was to keep the car clean. Sometimes you got to teach.

[A]

You're hoping for the best.

[B]

But if your dad gave you a 71 GTO.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And he's like, this is my first car. And then he sees you and it's just full of McDonald's crap. And you've got a, you know, MMP gun stickers on it. And all the.

[A]

All your endorsements are on five across the mouth. And you take the keys right back. Yeah. There's no way.

[C]

And that's what you do until you respect that ride.

[B]

Yeah. Nah, just take it back. You're too emotionally tied to it. Just take it back. Get him to something else. Let him wreck that and teach him how to be good to that one before you give him the one you loved. Dear Brady, my mother in law has what I feel like is an intrusive relationship with my husband. Five or six mornings a week, she texts him first thing before either of us even awake. I feel like I don't even have the close of a relationship with my own husband. And I can't get there because she seems to prioritize her own need to talk to him ahead of mine. She doesn't call me ever. I know I'm being a bit petty, and a lot of people would love to have that closeness with a parent, but we're both pushing 40. We've been married for six years now and together for almost 10. It's about 3,600 calls into this. It's a lifetime commitment. I love my husband. We're great. Can I get this broad to back off a little bit, mother in law? Or do I have to suck it up even if it brings me anxiety? Ran.

[C]

So it's his daughter that's. It's his ex wife?

[B]

No, it's his mother.

[C]

Oh, his mother. Okay.

[B]

I thought mother in law.

[C]

Yeah, that's a little mama's boy. Like.

[B]

Yeah. And I. Why would you want your mother to call your daughter in law on the reg? She said she doesn't. Every day, first thing. Leave me alone. Yeah, he's got. She's got to tell her husband. Grow a set of balls together a long time.

[C]

Mom's what, in her 70s?

[B]

Or if they're pushing 40, mom's probably late 60s.

[A]

Expired.

[C]

Yeah, you gotta. Gotta taper that down a little bit.

[B]

Has nothing to do with whether we want to have sex with her. Brett. Yes, she's expired, but who Cares if.

[A]

That'S the first thing in the morning. She's texting. Come on. Something going on there.

[C]

Man.

[B]

You just tell. Yeah, yeah. Make him make a choice. Tell your mom to back off the. But it's going to cause a problem. It's going to get worse when you tell him that your mom talks to you too much. And then he says mom, you need to stop talking. I don't know, it's like Rayanne says quit it.

[C]

And how long they've been together and it's been this way 10 years, 7? You know what you got?

[B]

Maybe that's part of the problem.

[A]

She'll never go too far. Yeah, too long.

[B]

You can't be broads. You can't be jealous of your own mother in law. Yeah, and by the way, he loves her more than you. That's his mom. She's staying. You might not suck it up, broad.

[C]

They always have that. It's just unfortunately it's wired that way. A lot of times that the. The bride feels. The wife never feels she's. To the standards of the. The mother.

[B]

She's not.

[C]

And they gotta accept that.

[B]

Yeah, she's my mom, for God's sakes. I see her totally differently than you. You are a sex doll and a partner in life. That's my mother we're talking about.

[C]

And if my mom's not making my dinner, you are.

[B]

Yeah, you know who I'm not divorcing. Ever? Mom. She'll always be there in a pinch. You meh teeter totter. Never know. No, I'll never. No one's replaced. You shouldn't want to replace my mom. She's my mom. You're a wife. They're totally different roles. You're looking at her as some sort of threat. She was better at laundry. She's better at cooking. She's just better.

[C]

Christ.

[B]

I guess it's. I guess it's window cleaning day. No announcement of that by aliens. Some dude just shot a big old brush onto our windows. All right, last one. We gotta hurry. It says, what do you want? A lesbian mom or a guy who lasts to. This one I like. It says, dear Brady, my wife and I have sex now and she complains that I last too long. We've been married for seven years and suddenly this is a problem? Now, admittedly, I do tend to go 30, 45 minutes. She said she'd rather have it last somewhere between 7 and 10 max. How am I supposed to be a quick pop? Brady, I look at you, you look like a guy that explodes fast. What's the secret?

[C]

Seriously, I want to know what your secret is.

[B]

Seriously though, what is it with broads? If you last too long, you're a jerk. If you don't, you're a putz. Help me out, Brady Harris.

[C]

All I can help you out is you. You're not gonna win on any of those situations.

[B]

What does that mean?

[C]

She'll either complain one way or complain the other one. Yeah, you're too long. You're not long enough.

[B]

Yeah, 45 minutes. A long time.

[C]

It is. Maybe just appreciate you can do that. Right now.

[B]

Yeah. What do you mean right now? Oh, because it changes.

[C]

Get older.

[B]

You think?

[C]

Yeah, unless you. Unless you get the proper medications or the what? As far as longevity, are you equipped?

[B]

I think it goes the other way. The older I'm not as long. No kidding.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Maybe it's her. Could be he's just not as attracted.

[B]

To her and he's just blame.

[A]

Yeah, her, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You put on a few lbs.

[B]

You know, it's hard for me to look at you and get excited. You look. Never flush the toilet, you said.

[C]

Even sometimes. And it's true. Like they suggest something.

[B]

You're just like, oh, oh, whisper in my ear that the ass is in play. You'll pretty much get rid of it. Yeah, it's kind of on her to say, look, while we're doing it, it's a risk because the dude might take you up on it, but start talking about stuff that normally you wouldn't want to do and he'll probably lose it before you give him the opportunity. But you can't. You can only run that gambit every once in a while. Yeah. I found as the older you get, the longer you last. I feel like good for you. I don't know how that happened for you. You got more sensitive.

[C]

I did.

[B]

No kidding. Yeah, like two pump chump bad. No, if you admit it, we're fine.

[C]

Yeah, no, I just. Yeah, it's definitely not as long as when I was.

[B]

No kidding.

[C]

Younger, dude.

[B]

Younger was definitely faster. For sure. Anyway, it's interesting, a lot of people.

[A]

Are saying the guy with the toilet needs to get toilets like we have here. The auto flush.

[B]

The auto flush. The most brilliant invention of all time, the auto flush. You think you're saving the planet, idiot. Self serving.

[A]

And the guy with the jeep, Cameron just high fived both of us too.

[B]

Yeah, no kids and poor Ronnie. I guess we learned all that today.

[C]

Kirby does pretty good on. On our car.

[B]

Thank God.

[C]

And lasting long.

[B]

Oh Jesus for God, guys, get your.

[C]

Mind out of this guy.

[B]

Come on, man. Get our mind out of the gutters. We were talking filth over here, and you brought your daughter to the party.

[C]

It boasts.

[B]

Good Christ, man. Pick a. Pick a lane and stay out of ours. Anyway, sorry. You don't last very long, Brady. That's embarrassing. Working on it.

[C]

Working on it.

[B]

Well, that's not gonna matter. What are you working. How are you working on it?

[C]

The more frequent you do it, it helps you.

[B]

Oh, so it's because of an infrequency that makes you too excited. I see what you're saying now.

[A]

You're calling out Ron.

[B]

So now it's Ronnie's fault that you guys don't do it. And you know what the vicious. Yeah, you know what the vicious circle in that is? The cycle is that you don't do it a lot. So you're popping too fast, which means she's not enjoying herself, which makes her not want to do it a lot.

[C]

It's my fault.

[B]

It's everybody's fault.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

This guy's taking Brady's side, and if you're stroking for 45 minutes, you got a micro pee pee, dude.

[B]

Yeah, I don't think that's necessarily accurate, but I like that. These guys fighting him, those two pump chumps. No, we're bigger than normal. That's why it's too sensitive anyway. Yeah, well, all right. Well, Brady, you have to. You need to spend more time down south.

[C]

You know, again, back to that guy. If he's just drilling away and it's like a plank. Yeah, no, the feedback on both sides really helps enhance the experience or the.

[B]

Well, sure.

[C]

Yeah. So it sounds like there's not much motivation not to blame on her, but a little bit if she's not.

[B]

Well, she might finish fast and just don't. Doesn't want the last 36 minutes, you know, she might enjoy the hell out of it. And then it's, you know, she's got to get flopped around and thrown all over the room for 30 minutes. It's like, when is he going to finish this? I'm all done.

[A]

Or she's a beast.

[B]

Or she's disgusting. And his eyes see the disgust.

[A]

Yeah, he's just trying.

[B]

He's doing everything he can to imagine not being with you while he's with you. That's probably it. But if you're really quick, you know, this one says it's about getting it done and finishing the act for everybody. It's not about stamina or length of time. It's true. So long as everybody's satisfied, you'd like.

[C]

To have a win win situation?

[B]

Sure. Get down there, do your work with your face a little more, and then it doesn't matter what you do after that. Make sure that that's covered. Or take it to somebody who wants it. But Brady's right. Too long, too short. You're gonna get complaints either way. It's 9:39. There you go, Brady. Well done. Sorry to hear about your erectile problems. It's 98 KUPD. That's what Brady did. That was what Brady did.

[C]

It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees.

[B]

I have heard enough of this for you, pd.