09-23-25 - Happy Morning For John Following Another Ravens Loss On MNF - Trump Announces Guidelines For Pregnant Women Taking Acetaminophen - Has The Rapture Started Since We're 16 Hours Behind

Summary

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Holmberg's Morning Sickness – 09-23-25: A Happy Morning, Ravens Schadenfreude, Tylenol Controversy & End-of-World Predictions

Episode Overview
In this lively September 23, 2025 episode, John Holmberg and co-hosts (Brady, Bret, Toledo) unpack Monday Night Football’s Ravens loss—delighting in the misery of Baltimore fans and quarterback Lamar Jackson. The team also riffs on new Trump-pushed guidelines about acetaminophen during pregnancy and the latest “apocalyptic” preacher’s prophecy about the world’s end. The signature brash humor, biting sports opinions, and wild rants are in full force.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Holmberg’s Joy Over Ravens’ Loss (00:40–12:00)

• John is euphoric over the Baltimore Ravens’ Monday Night Football defeat, especially Lamar Jackson’s poor play, sacks, and postgame look.
  • “You know, there's that preacher saying the world's gonna end today. Perfect. You don't want to end it on that note. Yes, I do.” (01:13, John)
  • Heavy roast of NFL player aesthetics, especially Lamar Jackson’s grill and hair.
  • Holmberg leans into over-the-top hate for the team and its fans, calling them “degenerates” and “uneducated imbeciles.” (03:30)
  • Uses the moment to philosophize on the value of “hating” things:

    “Hate is the greatest gift ever given to the human body. You have to be hateful to know what true joy is. ... Do not buy into the nonsense—hate is great. Hate brings joy. Without it, there is no joy.” (06:23, John)

• Memorable Moment: A blind listener, Sean Rockefeller, texts that he agrees Lamar Jackson is ugly, prompting John to cackle:
  • “Lamar Jackson looks like Sam Jackson and Steve Buscemi had a baby, then threw the baby into the Plinko board on The Price is Right.” (11:22, Sean via John)

2. Grills, Jewelry Teeth & Societal Judgment (09:51–14:30)

• The crew dives deep into player “grills,” mocking the trend and speculating about cost, cultural significance, and how their own dads would react.
  • “I've never once seen anyone with a grill and thought, there you go, you're going to be the CEO. I just think you look stupid.” (14:00, John)
  • Paul Wall’s 2000s-era grill hustle comes up, with ridicule of how “meth mouth” is the look from afar.
• Ongoing class- and city-based ribbing of Baltimore—"where’s my government check?" (14:20)

3. Trump’s Acetaminophen Guidelines for Pregnant Women (17:22–24:30)

• The team discusses the controversy after Trump recommended new caution for pregnant women using Tylenol, contrasting public outrage at Trump with their own "what if?" approach.
  • “If Trump came out and said, we cured cancer and it’s Oreo cookies, people hate him so much they won't even give him the benefit of the doubt...” (17:37, John)
  • Jokes about “feta cheese” panic among pregnant women and highlights ever-changing medical guidelines.
  • Discusses how people judge health advice more by who delivers it than by research:

    “If it was Anderson Cooper that says Tylenol… Everybody like, ‘oh, jeez, this is something.’ And he doesn't know any different than you.” (20:09, John)

  • Touches on the increasing rates (or broadened definitions) of autism, the Tylenol-autism pseudo-link, and parents’ desperation for cures.
    • “It was two out of every 100 pregnancies, like sixty years ago. Now it's 37 that will have a form of autism.” (23:42, John)

4. Rapture Watch! End-of-the-World Preacher Predictions (29:21–41:48)

• The hosts lampoon a preacher’s prediction that the world will end on September 23rd, with escalating debate over time zones, the logistics of Jesus “appearing,” and how rapture believers behave.
  • “So it’s already started for some people… wouldn’t they get the news that it’s begun by the time we woke up?” (30:22, John)
  • John relentlessly insults those selling their possessions in advance, saying it’s mostly “poor people who life has not worked out for… rooting for Jesus to come back real fast so they don’t have to work.” (32:15)
  • “I don’t see anybody with a Ferrari giving their cars away.” (33:13, co-host)
• The crew brainstorms on how to exploit rapture believers, e.g., selling “holy apparition” home cameras with a fake “demon detection” upcharge.
  • “Dummy season is 12 months a year.” (39:38, John)
• On the time zone paradox:
  • “Jesus shows up in a time zone, don’t tell the others… Gonna surprise them in an hour.” (35:34, John)

5. Holmberg’s Theory of Hate & Happiness (Continuous, esp. 06:23, 11:50, 26:50)

• The philosophy: one must embrace passionate hatred (of a team, musician, etc.) to truly know joy when they fail.
  • “If you hate me and when I stumble and it brings you joy, consider me Jesus. That's wonderful. Good for you.” (26:50, John)
• Co-hosts share their own “joyful hatreds”—including Jimmy Buffett and Aaron Rodgers—for comic effect.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On hate as a motivator: “Stop teaching your kids love is the answer… Find a true, passionate hate. It makes you appreciate love.” (06:23, John)
• Listener roast: “Lamar Jackson looks like Sam Jackson and Steve Buscemi had a baby, then threw the baby into the Plinko board and The Price is Right.” (11:22, John quoting listener Sean)
• On grills: “I've never once seen anyone with a grill in their mouth and thought, there you go, you're going to be the CEO.” (14:00, John)
• Rapture logistics: “So it's already started for some people… would we have not heard about this?” (30:27, John)
• Class envy and apocalypse: “I don't see anybody with a Ferrari giving their cars away. Successful people look at this and roll their eyes. Poor people are like, maybe we're lucky and we get to go to paradise and then I don't have to get up and go work at the Dollar Tree tomorrow.” (33:13, co-host + John)
• On exploiting doomsday believers: “No one actually believes in ghosts. And that would prove it again. Not at all.” (39:35, John)
• On hating Jimmy Buffett: “When Jimmy Buffett passed away, you were… oh, I was dancing. I had the little Arby's hat on and everything…” (26:48, co-host & John)

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Important Timestamps

• 00:40–08:00: Ravens’ loss, hat/hair/life roasted, philosophy of hate
• 09:51–14:30: NFL player “grills”, socioeconomic jabs
• 17:22–24:30: Trump’s Tylenol comments, public overreaction, autism side-rant
• 29:21–41:48: Rapture prediction, time zone debate, poking fun at doomsday believers, entrepreneurial ghost-cam
• 26:41–28:40: Sharing joyful hatreds, e.g. Jimmy Buffett

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Tone & Language

The episode is relentlessly sarcastic, often crude, and unapologetically anti-PC—Holmberg and crew combine hyperbolic sports grudges with irreverent pop-science banter. Listeners are hit with Chandler Bing energy turned up to foulmouthed radio shock-jock, with side banter, inside jokes, and a pointed Arizona-local flavor.

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If you missed it:
This episode is a wild ride, blending cathartic sports smack talk (at the Ravens’ expense), skepticism of politics and medicine, and lampooning of end-times believers—all through Holmberg’s signature philosophy that a good, healthy hate is essential to truly joyful living.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

Homberg's morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Good morning, everybody. Hello there and welcome to the greatest morning sickness Tuesday in a long, long time. Oh, my goodness. He what I'm about to say. Come on up, dancing sunshine. She's here. You can take a break. Oh, I love it. My name's John, the happiest man in the world. There's Brady. What a handsome bastard that guy is. There's Brett. Big Dick Toledo. The morning sickness. If you feel like happiness is the truth, let me knock that jackass down and mine his teeth for a few bucks. Can't get enough. Lamar Jackson getting sacked seven times. I was a Detroit Lions fan like I've never been in my life. That was a blast. And seeing him so sad and with that hair choice he made last night to somehow make himself uglier. It's hilarious when the Ravens lose and their fat, low IQ fan base has to cry. You know, there's that preacher that's going around, he's getting some airtime saying the world's gonna end today. Perfect. You don't want to end it on that note. Yes, I do.

[D]

No, he doesn't.

[B]

Good. That's better than he's unhapp too. Oh, I love sad Ravens. I love sad Ravens. I it's the super bowl every time I watch and they get to do it on prime time television. Twice against the Bills. And then that big dumb Derek Henry with that weird cross of diamond. Why do they. Why do they want their teeth to be jewelry? Just live with it for a minute. Hate is the greatest gift ever given to the human body. And you have to be hateful to know what true joy is. I never, ever, ever. And it's week to week. Trust me, I don't take this for granted. I don't get, you know, months and months of this. I get it every time. I get it. I'm going to celebrate. It's not happening a lot. Suck it, Ravens. And all your f. It's just so great. It's. You know, I. I find the Ravens fans to all be kind of, you know, I don't be totally awful, but they're just kind of. Yeah. I just think to be a Ravens fan, you have to be sort of, I don't know, a degenerate and kind of uneducated imbecile.

[A]

Look at the rays.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, Ray Lewis, Ray R.

[B]

My heart feels so good. Yeah. And for all those people who didn't understand what I just said, you're probably Ravens fans that you can Google it or have somebody explain it to you later. Imbecile's a big word. I know what happened. All Ravens fans, mothers sucked down the Tylenol when they were pregnant. And that's exactly why they did that. They don't know if you want your teeth to be jewelry. Aren't you just a weirdo? Isn't it just being a weirdo? Especially when you're as ugly as Lamar Jackson is. I mean, to be that ugly and then draw attention to it. If anything, he should just have nice pearly white teeth and be like, well, at least he's got nice teeth. But what he has is some sort of crusty, weird. It's awful. I don't.

[D]

You know those come off, right?

[B]

I think so. But he never takes them off. Does he eat? What do you floss the grill? Yeah, I've got to take the grill off, like dentures at night. So you gotta.

[D]

Yeah. Definitely have to clean it.

[B]

And people. You know, it's not a mouthpiece. He wears it everywhere. He had it on in the press conference afterwards. Get sight too long, too much, too often. I'm sleepy. I was sleepy toe tired. Oh, and that face. And then he decided to go with that hair. And it's like the worst hair I've ever seen on an ugly human being ever. Like, I go to YouTube sometimes and, like, I'll search out poor people in street fight. And he looks just like everybody that I see in those videos. He's just.

[D]

That last pass, Brady.

[B]

It doesn't matter. All the passes. It was a loss. And he got sacked. Golf last. Oh, Jared Goff with. We're not talking about. Who cares about the Lions, really? No one, actually. It's just. We're talking about Sam. I'm fine with that. I'm not here to assess the game. All I care about is there were two sad, ugly Ravens at the end and then their dumb head coach who can't close his mouth along with his dumb mouth breathing brother. Oh, and then to show that fan base of the good news for the Baltimore fan bases, the game kind of ended late because it's on the east coast. They don't have to get up for work tomorrow. They're all just. I mean, unless des opens at 8, they don't have anything to worry about. They might just stand in line a little longer because they got to their welfare check late. God, I hate that town. The good news is the murder rate's so high in Baltimore, maybe they'll get stabbed today and. And they'll be taken out of their misery by yet another Ravens fan. In a pure twist of irony. Oh, I love it. God, I hate highly recommend this. Stop teaching your kids love is the answer. Don't listen to any Beatles songs. It isn't. Find a true, passionate hate. It makes you appreciate love. It's the only way to know what love is. You can't know hot unless you know cold. You can't know it. You have to embrace hate. Find something you hate, and when it fails, your joy levels bring you to what true happiness is. And then this happens. Cause I'm happy. I'm alone. If you feel it, you can't feel it. You do not. Do not buy into any of the nonsense of people trying to tell you, oh, no, hate is bad. No, hate is great. Hate brings joy. Without it, there is no joy. It's the ying and the yang or yin. Anyway, what a night is what I'm saying. Oh, what a night. I got a whole bunch of them. Man, you're late. September 2025. It's love it. And it could be the end of the world, which is even better. Just even better.

[A]

Going on a high note.

[B]

Yeah. You don't hate. You can't love. That's how I feel. You're just kind of a innocuous knob living in the the middle mush of murky gray. Nope. Give me the black, give me the white. Let's go. Let's play the Feud. Yeah. Find it, Brady. Find it. Today, teach. Kirby today. Laters. What are your true hates? And then, oh, there's press conference. Look at the hat he wore. He chose that Hat to be even uglier. How did he.

[D]

Man, right.

[B]

No, that's. That's Lamar's dumb hat. At the beginning of the season, you.

[D]

Got a lot of work to do. A lot of work.

[B]

I have no idea what you're saying. It's hilarious.

[A]

Let me put the subtitles up.

[B]

I think you were sacked seven times tonight. You were sacked seven times tonight. Is that why your hair looks like that back there? It was causing problems. Oh, man.

[D]

Guys are doing stunts, and they had a. A spy.

[B]

And sometimes the spy was. They was grabbing my leg, and that's called a tackle. Lamar, you should look it up. You play the game. You should know better. Grabbing your leg is his job, and he did it. Oh, my.

[A]

They're doing stunts. What is he doing?

[B]

They were doing stunts.

[D]

The coach told him, remember, they're spies. Tell them about the spies.

[B]

They would grab my leg, and then I fall down. I thought it was legal, but anyway. He almost claps his hands and punches his hands. We were doing all the baby. I got so sleepy. I laid down seven times. Oh, Lamar, I hate you so much. I hate you. That brings such. My heart swells with hate. Look at that hat. He decided after the game to gently place a hat on top of that mop of mess that he calls hair. And somehow or another, that thing he does with those little weird turd braids that he has, he made it worse by having. Whatever the hell that is.

[D]

He unleashed him.

[B]

And Derrick Henry, even better. When Derrick Henry fumbled the ball and then got to the sideline and got mad and then tried to be mad at the bench, and he. And then he fell down just standing there. I thought he was gonna get hurt. The ejaculate was everywhere. Find hate today. Today. It's not a popular thing, but, man, does it work. I haven't been this joyful. I mean, two of the last three weeks, it's just been football weekend ends, and I'm like, you gotta be kid. Could I get a better gift to watching that big dopey turd head prime fumble the ball on Sunday and Monday night. Let's get them on a Thursday game and do it in all the primetime games. Please. I know they'll win again. They're a good team. But when they lose, you have got to. Sean Rockefeller, our blind listener, just texted, and a subject says, man, Lamar Jackson's ugly. He's blind. Everybody, like, 100% on the morning sickness. Up Holmberg's morning sickness. Sean says, my girlfriend says Lamar Jackson and Sam Jackson look like. Or he Said Lamar Jackson looks like Sam Jackson and Steve Buscemi had a baby, then threw the baby into the Plinko board and the Price is Right. That's pretty much what I see. That's hilarious. Alex is a Lions fan. Blast that song, John. I'm dancing too good for you, Lions. You've had enough misery in your life. You've hated the entire NFL and now you get some sort of joy. And you wouldn't know it without hate. Hate is great. I might run for President. Hate in 28. Find stuff you hate. Embrace it. It's fantastic.

[A]

Matthew agrees with you.

[B]

It's fantastic. And let me suggest, if you don't have hate to focus in on those Baltimore Ravens. Cause it's easy this John. When you were born in the ugly tree that you fell out of, you hit every branch on the way down. Having ugly teeth is the least of your worries when you're Lamar Jackson. That's true. When you are that ugly, having jewelry teeth, somebody's gonna have to explain that to me. And I hate to ask for a specific person to do that, but I don't know if it's offensive, but I need to know. I always think that when. When a white guy does it, he's just an absolute moron. Is that the same of other cultures when they look and they go, get those teeth out. What are you doing?

[A]

Thunder Horse call in.

[B]

Yeah, Thunder Horse, call in.

[A]

Wait, we'll have to wait a couple hours.

[B]

Oh, that's true. We can't ask right now. We'll wait a couple hours and we'll.

[D]

Get the true in tomorrow.

[B]

I just can't imagine. Yeah, he'll email it in when you.

[A]

Be 11 o' clock tonight.

[B]

When you listen to the podcast later tonight, Donnie let us know. I just can't imagine that being something that you'd be happy your kids did. You know, if I came home with a grill, my dad would be like, get that. God damn, I didn't pay for all that dentistry for you to jam that in there and crack your teeth with stupid.

[D]

And how it's got to be 20, 50 grand.

[B]

Oh, at least.

[D]

I mean, if it feels tough.

[B]

Well, they're not gonna go, you know. Oh, I bet you those cubic zirconiums.

[D]

For people that are doing it.

[A]

Maybe he's not czm.

[B]

No, he's not. No, he's not. No, no, no, no. Yeah, that's the thing. Like, it's Circle K if I see it, I know. Wandering around with like a $12 chunk of something now in Fairness to the people in on the streets, if you've got really bad teeth, you know, instead of spending money on getting that fixed, just put in some platinum fake.

[A]

It's got a Mary Mel Maryville mouth over there.

[B]

And that's what we call it Maryvale. I don't understand that. I think it looks stupid, but. And it isn't like, I think you can get in trouble, think it's racist, but it's not. It's just dumb looking on anybody. I've never once seen anybody with a grill in their mouth and thought, there you go, you're going to be the CEO. I just think you look stupid. I remember Paul Wall, the rapper 20 years ago, remember him? And he would sell grills and he was just this big doughy. He looked like Combo from Breaking Bad. Just a fat white kid. And he would have these grills. He could barely talk.

[D]

And from a distance, you know, you have to get really close to figure. Oh, okay. It's blinged out from a distance. Looks like mushmount.

[B]

Just like you just didn't brush that day. You got dirty mouth, meth teeth. Oh, my God. Well, Ravens fans are stup enough to do it. I bet you they wear grills around Baltimore. Because he's an inspiration. Mainly because. And to his credit, he's one of 3% of people who live in Baltimore who actually have jobs and don't milk the government teat. That's a pretty much Baltimore. I think Baltimore is an Algonquin word for where's my check? Mr. President?

[A]

This guy running. Hey, John, just think, the Chiefs play the Ravens next week, so either Mahomes or Jackson will be one in three. Next.

[B]

Oh, my. Oh, only one. Oh, we'll be back in an hour. Oh, I'm gonna drown in it. I'm gonna fill the room. Boys, run. That is true. I forgot they played. Next. I'm just taking a day. I'm like an alcoholic one. One day of hate at a time. I didn't even look forward to what's gonna happen. Is that real? Is that next week? I believe so. Or is it coming up? Oh, don't tease with us. It. I don't want to dehydrate too soon. Oh, sorry, guys. It's just going to be a second. Guy said, was that a stoplight? Noticed a vehicle close to me, has a big raven sticker on. I don't believe in psychic abilities or premonitions, but I definitely had a feeling once the light turned green. He drove like a completely inconsiderate a hole Cutting people off, speeding, of course. A paper light, license plate. I don't follow football or have a team, but I definitely know that Ravens fans suck. Yeah, that's weird to me that you're seeing a Ravens truck this morning, Patrick. Because he's not going to work. Maybe he's coming home from a night of theft and public urination. That would be my guess.

[A]

Knocked over a liquor store.

[B]

Yeah, something like that. He's got. Yeah, he's got some. Something in the car that he stole. And then he had to go pee outside somewhere because that's what they do.

[D]

Afternoon games. Sunday.

[B]

Sunday afternoon.

[D]

Second.

[B]

Oh, my God. Michelle says, what if he took that mess. A grill out of his mouth and just had a. A perfect speaking voice. Yeah, that would shock me. Because he's in Baltimore. No one would understand him. This is the only way people in Baltimore understand him, is if he. If he goes up there with a grill. Because otherwise, if you speak good English, the people of Baltimore, like, what is. What do you say, I'm dumb? What? Where's my crab? Yeah, all right. I know. Your crabs, I'm guessing, are on your wife's pants. That's my guess. You disgusting hogs. Oh, so happy. So unbelievably happy. Anyway, sorry. And take all the Tylenol you want. That doesn't bother me anymore, though.

[D]

That's all I can have.

[B]

I know. Are you eating a lot of Tylenol? Acetaminophen?

[D]

I was one of.

[B]

Are you allowed to have that with the one kidney?

[D]

Yes.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

That's the only one I can't do.

[B]

And aspirin and stuff. Ibuprofen can be nasty after stuff like that.

[A]

We should juck at that today and see if it. See if it changed.

[B]

What, for Tylenol? Yeah, the Tylenol. Here's my deal on this. Everybody's mad at Trump. If Trump came out and said, we cured cancer and it's Oreo cookies, people hate him so much that they won't even give him the benefit of the doubt that, what if. Yeah, this is immediate, like, oh, he's an idiot.

[D]

But it's.

[B]

Maybe he is, maybe he's not. But I knew a lady who was pregnant once, and she wouldn't shut up about feta cheese for, like, a half an hour. Cause I had a salad that had feta cheese on it. And the more annoying part was she kept saying feta. It wasn't like feta like everybody else. She'd go, oh, I cannot eat feta cheese. And I'm like, please, first off, I'm gonna punch you in the belly if you say that that way again. You're gonna. Of your pregnancy concerns. Is going to be the cheese. It's going to be my fist. Stop saying feta. Oh, if the doctor told me if I have feta cheese, I could have a reaction to the. So feta cheese is. I'm like, please stop saying it that way. Your kid's going to be retarded because of the way you say feta. Do you want me to order another salad? No, but afterwards I have to have you wash your hands because you might have feta cheese on them and it will get into my bloodstream. Look. What is it? Fentanyl. It's just feta cheese. Who told you this? And evidently, and I looked it up. Up. There's this weird, like, maybe, maybe not with feta cheese and pregnant ladies. So I, I'm a big believer. Remember when they said this about, like, coffee and stuff when women were pregnant?

[D]

Alcohol.

[B]

Alcohol, coffee, cigarettes, like, sugars. Too much of this, too much of that. It makes sense to me that.

[D]

But smoking's okay.

[B]

Well, no, that's what your mom told you. And then the kidney in the trash, that's different. But the. Yeah, I mean, of course, taking a pill while you're pregnant of any sort, you should be concerned about. About. I got no problem with that. But I think the, the. The hatred of Trump gets to the point where it's not like, if he is not like Lamar Jackson, you can hate him all day, but sometimes, like, what if Lamar Jackson even came out and said, I didn't make you cancer last night by putting purple drink inside of spree candies and he made. And the next thing you know, spree and purple drink make cancer cure. And I hate him so much, but I'm like, he did and he kind of see if he's right. Like, I'd rather listen to that and find out he's wr, then be, you know, kind of indignant about it and then find out he was right later. I don't know.

[D]

I wouldn't be happy if I was, you know, people behind Tylenol.

[B]

Tylenol can't be happy. They got punched in the back of.

[D]

The head yesterday, you know, and it's over some research.

[B]

I don't know what it is, but they went pretty crazy about it.

[D]

Other research that is there, you didn't.

[B]

Do any, you didn't do any of the reading. You're just being told that there is and is not conclusive evidence. Nobody knows for sure. At least the general public. We're just going off of how we feel about who's delivering the news. If it was Anderson Cooper that says Tylenol doesn't, or it may cause problems, Everybody like, oh, jeez, this is something. And he doesn't know any different than you. But people like, oh, it's inconclusive. I heard somebody say that yesterday on the. Yeah, some guy. Oh, it's inconclusive. I'm like, you're on the streets interviewing ASU students and talking about inconclus. Yeah. How do you know? Put too much pressure on it. But when you get old, you know, brain worm and Trump screaming in at everybody, don't take the Tylenol, Bobby. If you take Tylenol, there's a good chance your head's gonna pop off. I had a dinner with a friend of mine on Friday, and I said something about, you know, love him or hate him, Bobby Kennedy's 71 years old and he's ripped. And he goes, yeah, but he's on steroids. And I'm like. And it works. Like, whatever this guy's putting in his body, he looks better than I've ever looked. And he's 70 something, so you don't have to like his politics, but you look at his body and you look at yours and you say, he's doing something better than me. Now, if it's steroids or whatever, who cares? It's working for him. You have a choice then to either do that or continue to be a dough ball proof people are trying to kill the baby. That's exactly right, Bobby. No Tylenol. We found it in a study. And then people are like, we hate Trump, so that's false. Instead of saying, well, what if? I'm a big what if guy. What if? And then he said, they've got a pill that can help kids with autism. I don't know if that's true either.

[D]

Tylenol.

[B]

Yeah. Wouldn't it be ironic? There's Alanis Morris, Q. Alanis. Isn't it ironic? Don't you think? Yeah. Your kid is not exactly normal because you took Tylenol and then later in life you give him more Tylenol and kind of straightens the out. I don't know. And that always proves to me that people get mad for a while.

[D]

They were. There was actually accusations that vaccines.

[B]

No, he said that again yesterday. He brought that up yesterday that vaccines are still kind of maybe linked to it. And so nobody knows for sure 100%, but we kind of have some Scientific evidence that says that that's not true. But still, you know, remember when you and Al Johnson of the Cardinals got in the argument over. Over when your kid was going to have diseases because you didn't save the umbilical cord or whatever? Yeah, he got that. He spent the money. He killed me.

[D]

You need to do this.

[B]

But you didn't want to spend the money just in case, and he did, and he put it in his freezer, whatever that was, to save his kid's life in case there was some sort of a change in medicine or whatever. I don't know. It was like a 600 thing. Yeah. Core blood. That was what it was. Yeah. I just. It's proof to me that people with kids who have something going on don't mean it when they say, you know, this is great, like, we don't mind this. It makes him who he is and stuff like that. Now I watch Love on the Spectrum. I wouldn't change a thing about any of those people. Maybe a couple of them, but for the most part, I'm keeping them exactly the same. Connor and Tanner and. And Mike down in Australia. Those guys are awesome. I would. I would like to have everybody be like them. But you know. You know you don't mean it when you say it's all great, and then you try to, you know, don't make fun of it. It's normal. It's like, he's not handicapped. He's handicapable. But then they say, hey, we a cure. They're first in line. Like, I'd be all over that. I'd be taking all the pills. And how bad do women feel if you've got, like, a really autistic kid and you were just hammering Tylenol during your pregnancy, but you hate Trump, but it's just triggering the fact that you were, you know, double wa. You were like, ah. What if he's right? I think that's what people are really worried about with the Tylenol thing. What if it's right? Then you have to listen to Trump and he actually maybe helped out out on autism. I didn't know this. It was two out of every 100 pregnancies, like 60 years ago. Now it's 37. That will have a form of autism. And they want to say it's like something. I think it's diagnosis, but it's also broadened, too. But we didn't have it. I didn't have it when I was a kid.

[D]

There was no autism window.

[B]

We didn't have autism when I was A kid. A kid didn't exist. Autism started basically when Rain man came out. For most of us, nobody knew what it was. He's autistic. He's an idiot savant. They used to say. Then you'd have an occasional person that was just extreme, like Rain Man. And then they started to say, well, this is also autism. And this is also. Then, you know, 40 years after I would have been diagnosed with it, for sure everybody's got it. So I'm like, it's now it's 36 out of a hundred. And I'm like, then there's some severe stuff, Asperger's and things like that. But you can kind of see it when you meet a kid. You know, you're like, oh, this kid's got the thing. I can diagnose autism pretty quickly. And it's not necessarily a terrible affliction. Some people have it are completely functional. I think you're listening to one right now. I got. I'm on that spectrum. No doubt about it. I got some stuff. My mom drank coffee and probably guzzled Tylenol. Had an occasional cigarette. They didn't know there wasn't anything to worry about.

[A]

Drinking Tab or Pepsi Light or something.

[B]

Yeah, Tab.

[A]

Fresca.

[B]

Yeah, Hounding it. Oh, Fresca. Jesus Christ. I was born late, so my mom was doing something right. I was staying in there for the smokes and the acetaminophen. Anyway, can we stop being all weird about Trump today? And just remember Lamar sad face, Derrick Henry going over there, trying to be a tough guy with us. Helmet and he falls down. Oh, man. Great stuff. Dumb smile. Gotta find the hate, Brady. Gotta find it. You were taught wrong as a child. You gotta find the hate. It took a long time for Brady to even finally say he hated Hitler. And what's your hate, Brett? What's the thing that would like the failure that brings great joy to you when just wishing it and I can be that for someone else. You know what? I would love that. If you hate me and when I stumble and it brings you joy, consider me Jesus. That's wonderful. Good for you. You found great. I'm happy for anybody who finds this level of happiness. Just find it. Find it through. Hey, what do you have?

[A]

Well, music. Jimmy Buffett.

[B]

Oh, man. Jimmy Buffett would like. So when Jimmy Buffett passed away, you were. Oh, I was dancing. You were for real?

[A]

Yeah, I had the little Arby's hat.

[B]

On and everything, you know, we could do. And I don't know where this is, and I would Go with you for this? Just to see the joy and maybe it'll leak off onto me. We'll bring a little Sono speaker with some good bass. Oh, yeah. We'll put this out there and we'll have Pharrell help us. Someone just do a little dance on Jimmy's grave. Would you do it?

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

I need a cheeseburger right there too. Oh, that's great. Margarita. Oh, you're making me. This is great. It's Jimmy Buffett. You need a new one. He's gone. You won. Yeah, you won. You need a new hate. You need something else. You're never gonna find joy in your life without it. You gotta grab something fast, man. I'm telling you. Don't have much time.

[A]

Bad anymore. I mean, but, you know, you'll hate it. But Aaron Rodgers for me for years.

[B]

That doesn't make million years at all. That's ridiculous.

[A]

Yeah, that's just ridiculous.

[B]

Anyway back.

[A]

I have now because it doesn't matter.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. I don't know what I would do if dummy went to another team. Like, if he went to the Jags and Lamar Jackson was down there in Jacksonville, it'd be like, so say. I think maybe it's just. It's also that ugly purple uniform with that ridiculous Hannah Barbera bird on the side of the head.

[A]

But it was like you and Vic went to the. The Steelers for a minute, you know?

[B]

Yeah. Vic is some serious. Just dismissal from society type stuff. Yeah. When he went to the Steelers, I wouldn't even. I'm not cheering for that. I. I'm not.

[A]

You weren't even watching.

[B]

I won't watch it. I didn't watch any of those games. People were trying to give me updates. I'm like, nope, not interested. Don't care. Hope they lose. Didn't care. Michael Vick was not getting cheered on by me at all. That never will. But Lamar would. I hope. Here's what I hope. Oh, this is a nice one, Birdie. You're going to like this.

[D]

All right.

[B]

I hope that Michael Vick and, incidentally, Lamar Jackson are in the same room one day and Lamar's grill falls out and slides under, say, a toilet or something, and he has to get on his hands and knees and crawl around to try to find his grill. And then Michael gets confused and think it's a sick dog and ends up smashing him around the room like he did dogs. And it would be an awesome combo that Michael Vick actually went in there because you can't tell Lamar Jackson's Human. When you look at his hair and stuff, he just looks like an unwashed poodle. Oh, how was that mat on his head, Birdie? You want to see it?

[D]

At least it's adorable.

[A]

And Kyler.

[B]

No, no, we're not talking about him. Or no about Kyler. Murray is adorable because he loves Michael Vick. I don't know what his hair is. And that's an insult to Ewoks. They're bigger than him. Anyway. Do it. Oh, such a great day. Such a great day. What a great day to start. The last day of the year according to this. I also saw that when this dude and this dude made the rounds again last night. This preacher talking about today and tomorrow gonna end the world. Now you gotta consider it 6, 14 in the morning here. It's like, what would that make it? 6? It's like 3 in Europe and it's almost tomorrow in Australia. So what time zone is this guy? He's from Africa. What time zone is this dude talking about? When the end of the world starts. And if it does, it's supposed to go into tomorrow as well. So it's Jesus has a two day plan.

[D]

Yeah, I got the answer for that, John. Whenever you hit wherever you are and it's the 23rd, that's when it's starts for you. So it kind of rolls out.

[B]

So it's already start time zones.

[D]

Yeah, it's already started for some people.

[A]

Has started for us.

[B]

Wouldn't they get the news that it has begun by the time we woke up?

[D]

It doesn't once we hit the 23rd, then it start.

[A]

It's the 23rd right now.

[B]

Brady, it's the 23rd, right? Okay. Would we have not heard about this? That's what I'm saying.

[D]

Oh, earlier for the time zone.

[B]

That's what I Did he not follow what I just said at all?

[D]

No, you're not following what I'm saying.

[B]

You're not making any sense. That's. You have not heard why.

[D]

Because they can't get the word out if the rapture's already happened.

[A]

We got the goddamn Internet.

[D]

It's shut down.

[B]

You're an idiot. We don't have nerves of that. Like I can't get hold of my. My brother over there other than Pornhub, right? That's ridiculous.

[D]

My brother in law's in Switzerland. I haven't heard anything.

[B]

Well, that means it's over for him and it's just sweeping across. No possible way. We have one Paul Revere who noticed that his neighbors are dead. Cuz the Time zone hasn't quite gotten to him yet. And he's. He's the. That's strange. He's not doing that. No, that is a.

[D]

Or it could have vaporized.

[B]

No, it doesn't make sense. No, it doesn't.

[D]

But people are quitting their jobs.

[B]

They're selling stuff. Well, I need to meet one of these. Good. But, yeah, I saw a guy in the news last night talking with his wife that they sold their cars. And that tells me they don't really believe this is going to happen because otherwise you just give it away.

[D]

Why.

[B]

Why'd you haggle a price if you don't think it's going to be a giveaway? And the lady's like, we gave away all our earthly possessions sessions and everything is.

[D]

It all doesn't matter.

[B]

Great. But she sold her car. Don't really believe it. Holmberg's morning sickness. You don't really believe it.

[D]

Yeah, that's the broad that sold the cup.

[B]

There's. Yeah, that was the cat that was on the news. They showed it.

[D]

Looks like a RAV4.

[B]

She sold it.

[A]

Sold that too.

[B]

Oh, yeah, she sold it, though. So it wasn't a giveaway. And then they had another lady and our husband were going on and on about their earthly possessions being gone. And they're just gonna sit outside and wait and. And I need to get to. I need to tolerate some of these nut bag religio weirdos. Maybe they got some good stuff. It's like an estate sale. And it's. Everything's free because these lunatics think that's it. But I can't imagine anybody with any sort of success or not nice, nice items would actually believe this kind of stuff. It's only for poor people who life has not worked out for that they're rooting for Jesus to come back real fast so they can go to heaven and actually not have to work. That's my, that. My thought is that most lazy people would give away their things and go, it's going to happen. They're rooting for it because that means they don't have to get up and go to work today. And those people I'm talking about live in Baltimore because they're all lazy and they suck. And that's what I'm saying. Glorious.

[A]

I don't see anybody with a Ferrari giving their cars away.

[B]

Successful people look at this and roll their eyes. Poor people are like, maybe we're lucky and we get to go to paradise. And then I don't have to get up and go work at the Dollar tree tomorrow.

[A]

Tripp didn't call you last night and offer you up as Porsche?

[B]

He did, actually.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

It was two in the morning, John. I have friends in Europe and I can't get a hold of them. It's happening. I want you to. I know you're not coming along. So I want you to have my glorious car, which is amazing, but for a fee, just in case like you don't really buy it.

[D]

And he heard a. And the line's dead. Trip.

[B]

No, I told you. I live east of you. Stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life and people believe it. Brady, you're have to listen back to your explanation and realize how ridiculous it was.

[D]

Look, I was trying.

[B]

Yeah. When the 23rd starts and here it is and literally there's only nine more hours of the 23rd for the entire planet.

[D]

You know, specifically. Basically the pastor was saying starts it begins on sundown on the 22nd.

[B]

So it already has been done. Yeah. Because it's sundown in the 23rd in a lot of places. And I think Australia is 18 hours. So they're. They're into. It's midnight there, so it's tomorrow. Anybody talked to Sydney or Adelaide yet? Because we find out if they're to going gone. They would have let us know by now. Somebody. Somebody would have. Paul revered it.

[D]

So I'm curious to see what he'll say if all sudden Jesus doesn't appear by tomorrow for us.

[B]

For who?

[D]

The what? The pastor. You know, like it didn't happen. It's vision.

[B]

Does he. Does Jesus show up time zone to time zone and just like sail ahead an hour and just stay on the noon the whole time?

[A]

He jumps on the Conchords.

[B]

Is he on the media?

[A]

Kind of like for Live Aid with Phil Collins going from you.

[B]

Part of his plan was to get rid of the Concord. It wasn't making enough money. So he's. He's effed himself on this regard.

[A]

He's got to get on spirit. Things change.

[B]

And fly from Fort Lauderdale to Rockford.

[A]

He ain't flying Spirit. He'd be like, you know what? We'll wait.

[B]

What other airline would he fly? That's the only one that he would fly. Yeah, he's got too much class. Even he would look at spirit. Yeah, I'm not getting on Spirit. I don't want to die again.

[A]

Yeah, I was a carpenter, but please, I'm not doing this.

[B]

Put me back on the cross. I'd rather wheel that around. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life. He just shows up. Jesus shows up in a time zone. Don't tell the others. You got it? Jesus. Deal. I got to go. I'm going to surprise them in an hour. Says, how much Tylenol did Brady's mom take while pregnant to produce what you guys deal with from him? That was crazy. Yeah, it's the 23rd, but when the 23rd starts, that's when it starts. Even though it started 16 hours ago for some of the rest of the. Well, you know, 18 for some of the rest of the planet.

[A]

Well, Jesus didn't want to get unspirit. We'll put this on hold. Give me a reservation on Delta or something.

[B]

The flight was delayed, if you can imagine. Yeah, the Rapture. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Too many robes.

[B]

What do you mean, £50? You got to take some of these robes out. And his hair care products. You know, that guy had a serious conditioner to be on the cross and have no matting or knots. I mean all. I never once seen him in a picture on the cross where his hair isn't tangled. And that kind of hair you'd think would tangle. No, I mean, Lamar can't even do it and we've got modern day products. This dude lived in a dirt desert. Not one of those weird dirt desert boogers or anything. Clean as a whistle up there and fresh off of like a super ab workout. This guy is abs ripped. Ripped. He's like the Bobby Kennedy of his day. Jesus, are you on steroids? No, I just. Abs are made in the kitchen. All right. Anyway, it's so far, so good on the whole, it's not happening yet, but I need to start making friends with some loonies, people who start arguing with me online about Jesus comes like a thief in the night and like. Oh, you're right. You know what? I bet he is coming. You got anything around the house you want to get rid of before you? Because I'm gonna have to stay. You're gonna be up there in Rapture, more than likely, since I don't believe in them or actually even like them. Will you give me some of your stuff just to. Yes, please.

[D]

Bucket of nacho cheese.

[B]

You want some of that?

[D]

People have been collecting for that.

[B]

I.

[D]

Like you said, I don't understand why.

[B]

Yeah, you assume you're staying.

[D]

Yeah. And if it's a thief at night.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

And what's with the predictions?

[B]

Well, yeah, you got to predict it. That's the only way to do a thief at night. That's why? You have an alarm system? No, that's why. But that's why you have cameras on your house. That's why you have an alarm system. You're sort of predicting the worst, but you don't know when it's going to happen. Same thing when somebody just shoots out. Hey, I found it. I found their plan. It's like Al Qaeda. They had a plan for 9 11. They were supposed to show up like a thief in the night. Then later we found out they might have known about my ring.

[A]

Camera didn't go on last night either.

[B]

And, you know, I don't know if apparitions show up on mine. I didn't pay that extra 9.99. I get the night. I get mine for motion detection, and sometimes it's a little much. But I did not pay the apparition fee, so. And then holy apparition is probably another one. When will it ever end with the. The fees and the charges? Jesus, please. Jesus. You didn't get Lord and Savior, guardian plus. Oh, crap. I didn't pay for the plus.

[D]

Put it in the basket.

[B]

All right, I'll add it to my cart. Excellent choice. Now you'll see the holy apparition for just 9.99amonth, won't you know, I did that and kind of dodged my cameras. You'll have to take that chance. Also guards against demons. For another 9.99, we could sell this. And that would prove once again that most people don't believe in ghosts or demons or any of that stuff. If you tried to charge them 9.99 for the demon cam, nobody believes. No one actually believes in ghosts. And that would prove it again. Not at all. This house is haunted. Go to the bathroom, trash it, come back and go. You're right. Ghost went nuts in there while I was peeing. You owe me money. You wrecked my bathroom? I thought you said you had ghosts in there. You and I both know that's a lie.

[D]

This is a good time to roll out that product. Halloween season.

[B]

Well, dummy. Dummy season is 12 months a year. Yeah, but, yeah, I could go out.

[D]

The Christmas of that.

[B]

I need to go to one of those crazy churches where people flop on the floor and stuff and then give them holy Apparition ring cameras. And then every once a while, in. In a while, know my clientele, and then, like, float something by, you know, their camera just to keep them busy. And then their thing will go like, oh, man, we had ghosts last night. Holy Jesus, Lord. Oh, oh, Lamb of God. And they start screaming and flopping again. I'm like, it's the cameras. 9.99.

[D]

Good charismatic church you're looking for.

[B]

Yeah, I need to fire off a couple of fake ghosts that go by my holy apparition camps. Keep these people on the edge, and then maybe they'll give me their Ferrari. But I'm right about that, too. Never met a billionaire who's like, I'm giving away all my earthly possessions for the end of the world. It's only lunatics and people who it didn't work out for here that are rooting.

[D]

Right. I've never heard anyone. Did you see that? My Ferrari just moved.

[B]

Right? No, no, no, because they've made it. They don't have to worry about the Rapture. They're living in a pretty nice situation here. Trailer park people and losers. And those folks in Africa that are calling for this all the time, they look around and go, there's got to be something better than this, and I hope it's soon. So they start calling for the Rapture. Only poor losers root to get out of this mess. I'm here because I want to see how it happens. I think that would be fun. But I'm not going up to anything. I'm not.

[D]

Why isn't your boy Zach Baggins chimed in? Brad?

[A]

Oh, I'm sure he has somewhere else.

[B]

Because he's doing too well. He's probably on a beach on vacation, enjoying life. He doesn't care about ghosts. Yeah, yeah. You've never seen someone in anything better than a 1998 Hyundai Elantra. Is that an Elantra? They have those, I don't know. Sonata. That's your threshold for people who are like, I can't wait to be in the Rapture. Otherwise, it's like, I gotta keep this going. I'm enjoying myself down here. Gonna take my buddy Anthony up to Sedona in a couple days. He got a new Jeep. I ain't got time for all this Rapture nonsense.

[D]

You're not going up in a Corolla or a century.

[B]

No, no. I' I've got a job and I'm decent, and I'm feeling pretty okay. Only people who are losers are, like, packed up and ready to go for when Jesus gets here. And it's because they don't want to work anymore. Getting up, working for the man ain't worth it. There's only one man I work for. That's Jesus Christ. All right, you're just dumb. You can work for them. But again, plenty of rich people are religious. And I never hear them screaming about giving their stuff away. They work too hard for it. Let's get a wake up song, shall we? A good one. A happy, happy one. Other than Pharrell. Oh, we'll scream it together. It's 98. Kupp, wake up. Hey, it's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee. I have heard enough of this.