09-24-25 - Curious How Courtroom Artists Do Their Work And Get That Job - Pornhub Is Now Off In AZ After Katie Hobbs Signs Age Verification Law - Mercury Have Bumped Sold Out Jonas Brother Concert For Playoff Game

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness — Detailed Episode Summary

Episode Date: September 24, 2025
Main Theme:
The crew tackles Arizona’s new age-verification law affecting adult sites (especially Pornhub), pokes fun at the world of courtroom sketch artists, and rants about the Phoenix Mercury bumping a sold-out Jonas Brothers concert for a playoff game. Interspersed as always are the show’s signature banter, irreverent humor, and some pointed takes on politics and parenting.

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Highlights & Major Segments

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1. The Hilarious Strangeness of Courtroom Artists

Key Points:

• John Holmberg finds the job of courtroom sketch artist both absurd and fascinating, especially in high-pressure moments when someone does something dramatic.
• The crew jokes about the sheer speed required and how they might embellish or mess up people’s features (03:37).
• There's a playful debate: why do we still have these artists when cameras or AI could do it faster and better?
• The group brings up memories of cheesy caricature artists and jokes about the types of people who end up in these roles—often the “weird kid who drew on everything” (09:11).

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg [03:10]: "He’s got to get his little pens together and his paper and just stand there and go, 'I gotta find my moment.' And they draw so fast. Would you encourage your kid... 'I want to draw court sketches.' Oh God. I got one of those."
• Brady [06:15]: "Would you like them to be more caricature stuff? Giant heads, small bodies."
• John Holmberg [09:20]: "Why are there still court sketchroom or a thing? Why can't AI do that better and faster?"

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2. Arizona’s Age Verification Law & The Pornhub Ban

Key Points:

• Arizona now requires users to verify their age (via ID upload) to access adult sites like Pornhub—prompted by Governor Katie Hobbs’ signed legislation.
• John rails against this as a government overreach that tramples adult freedoms and puts technological burdens on everyone, just to supposedly protect kids.
• The crew discusses the generational tech gap—kids always being more tech-savvy, able to circumvent parental controls, and points out that "parenting," not legislation, is the real answer.
• They riff on how users immediately flee to ever-sketchier sites to avoid showing ID (potential malware city).
• “Katie Hobbs” (via a regular show impression) joins to roast Brett and the crew, mocking their porn habits and the new law in cheeky, acerbic exchanges (17:05–22:40).

Notable Quotes & Moments:

• John Holmberg [12:20]: "Every time I go back and I get a feeling, here's my old phone, and he goes, 'Let's get rid of, man. This thing is loaded with viruses.' It's basically him saying, 'You beat off to everything.'"
• John Holmberg [13:05]: "There's absolutely no reason for this to be a thing. The government shouldn't make it harder for me to get on porn sites if I want."
• John Holmberg [24:54]: "Almost every parent is dumber than their kid when it comes to the phone... He’s gonna figure out how to get around it. He’s smarter than you."
• Katie Hobbs (impression) [17:05]: "The adults are having a conversation. Why don't you take your odd number of kidneys into another room and go eat low salt snacks..."
• Brett [21:14]: "Where am I supposed to get my porn from?"
  Katie Hobbs (impression) [21:17]: "Let me just turn around and show you."

Memorable Segment:

• Long comedic roast as Hobbs (17:05–22:40), targeting Brett about his relationship, age, sexual needs, and the awkwardness of the new law.

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3. Parenting, Kids, and Technology

Key Points:

• The hosts argue that it should be on parents to manage what their kids see—not the government via blanket bans.
• John shares that attempts by parents to limit access (filters, taking phones) can’t keep up with kids’ abilities to circumvent.
• They reminisce about the old days when the only “hoop” was finding a hidden magazine, but motif persists: "Kids find a way."
• John advocates for parents to be more intrusive: “Toss the phone. You paid for it. It’s yours. No privacy until you’re an adult" (31:35).
• Brady admits he’s never checked his kid’s phone, prompting laughter and mild admonishment.

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg [32:11]: "You’re paying for the phone. You have every right to. This is a violation of my rights. Oh, you don’t have those yet. You’re my child."
• Brady [25:39]: "You can set the phone filters for kids."
  John Holmberg: "You know who's going to figure it out before you? Your kids."
• John Holmberg [29:23]: "You know what I did? I spent your kid's college education in Vegas. You're an idiot."

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4. Social & Political Satire: Sex, Censorship, and AI

Key Points:

• Several call-ins and emails from listeners parallel the porn crackdown to other, less restricted social taboos—pointing out hypocrisy.
• The group jokes about AI replacing more jobs and how "AI porn" is already here, but they find it lacking compared to "real danger" (i.e., the riskiness and reality of live-action sites) (39:13).
• John asserts that pornography has always driven technology—from printing presses to the internet, and government's attempts to hinder it are ultimately futile.

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg [26:55]: "If it weren't for porn, we would be closer to the iPhone 4 at this point than we were like the iPhone 26."
• John Holmberg [39:13]: "There's no risk involved in AI porn. I need to know that the person I'm watching might go to the hospital."

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5. Jonas Brothers Bumped for Mercury Playoff Game

Key Points:

• The Phoenix Mercury’s WNBA playoff game at PHX Arena is set to bump a sold-out Jonas Brothers concert, and the crew is incensed about the “business stupidity.”
• John rants that the Mercury crowd is financially nowhere near the Jonas Brothers audience, and the arena is sacrificing serious income to avoid "making women mad."
• They suggest (facetiously) letting the Jonas Brothers play at halftime or including them on the Mercury roster—they’d probably outscore the actual players!
• The discussion expands into WNBA marketing, attendance woes, and the cultural pressure for “equality” at the cost of logic (41:18–52:53).

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg [41:23]: "You can’t tell the Mercury, go play somewhere else. We’ve got a sold-out Jonas Brothers show, because they’ll scream you hate women."
• John Holmberg [44:26]: "They don’t sell that much flannel Mercury wear to make up for that Jonas Brothers."
• John Holmberg [49:44]: "If all three Jonas Brothers just added themselves to the Mercury roster... one would have 27 points. I guarantee it."
• John Holmberg [52:20]: "Either talk about us or you’re a misogynist."

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Parenting & Tech:

  • "You have to make those choices. And usually it’s the wrong one. That’s why it’s necessary to have parents until... I hate to break it to you... parents till they’re 25 now because they ain’t going anywhere." — John Holmberg [29:11]

• On Political Priorities:

  • "You can act like, you know, we care about Israel and Gaza and Ukraine and stuff. You take our porn away and suddenly there's going to be some active Americans getting things." — John Holmberg [23:13]

• Katie Hobbs Roasts Brett:

  • "If ass play became a human being, it would look like you. You’re the living human embodiment of anal play." — 'Katie Hobbs' [18:05]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Timestamp | Topic/Segment | |-----------|------------------------------------------------| | 03:10 | Speed and weirdness of courtroom sketch artists | | 09:20 | AI replacing sketch artists? | | 12:20 | Tech headaches: virus-laden phones & Pornhub | | 13:05 | Rant on government overreach & Pornhub ban | | 17:05-22:40 | 'Katie Hobbs' bit roasting Brett; law satire | | 24:54 | “Kids outsmart parent filters” | | 29:11 | Parenting, college, generational differences | | 31:35 | Parents' right (and need) to check kids’ phones | | 39:13 | The “danger” of AI porn vs. reality | | 41:18-52:53 | Jonas Bros. vs. Mercury playoff game | | 44:26 | Economics of crowd demographics | | 49:44 | Jonas Brothers would outscore Mercury players |

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Tone & Style

Irreverent, quick-witted, slightly abrasive, and always looking for the comedic angle, the show mixes pop culture, real-life complaints, and personal anecdotes with biting satire. Host John Holmberg leads fast-paced and frequently self-mocking banter, especially skewering politics, parenting, and societal rules.

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For the Listener Who Missed It

If you want a deep-dive into the cross-section where law, tech, and pop culture dysfunctionally intersect—and don’t mind a healthy dose of crude humor—this episode is quintessential Holmberg. Between dissecting why court sketch artists still exist, taking the Arizona government to task for their porn crackdown, and laughing at the Mercury's WNBA power play over the Jonas Brothers, you’ll find pointed, funny, and at-times surprisingly insightful takes on current Arizona quirks.

Transcript

[Brett]

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[Brady]

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[Dick Toledo]

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[Brett]

53342 hey Byron, I was looking at mmpguns.com's website. You have everything and the prices are incredible.

[Byron]

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[Brett]

Wait, there's no backorders?

[Byron]

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[Brett]

Sounds simple. That's why I always go to MMP Guns.

[John Holmberg]

Dot Comberg's morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Thank you very much. Miles to. That's Katie and the Hobs. And we'll have. We'll have more to hear from her in a second. Just going to read something to everybody. I think this is ten times more important than any Jimmy Kimmel or. Although that dude stabbing himself with the pen in the neck yesterday at that. The Ralph guy that was going to shoot Trump but didn't. He was at that golf course and he had the gun. He was going to. He had his trial. And right when they told him, it's pretty much life in prison for your ass, dummy. He tried to jam a pen in his throat. And the only thing that I loved about it, it's funny to me because he's such a creep and a crazy person, and I like when those people get pointed out and pushed into cells. That doesn't bother me at all. I'm not rooting for him to get better either. I don't care. Just go away. They didn't have cameras in the courtroom, so the only way we got to see that was some dude had to draw it for us. Renderings drawings are hilarious because it's a dude with a pen up against his throat looking crazy, and two other drawings, like, pulling on his arm, like, yikes. The artist had to sit and go, ah. And just start super sketching. And I started. What a job that is, especially when a dude tries to. What would he have done had he gotten it? Just. Would he have drawn the blood spurts?

[Brady]

Yeah, he's going for the main vein.

[John Holmberg]

They do. Oh, that's not what he was going for, but all right. He was trying to turn a jugular himself and shoot it out in the courtroom because he didn't want to go to jail for the rest of his life. But there's a dude with, like, colored pencils just sitting in the corner, like, super fast catching that, getting it out to the news outlets. And that's what I. And I started. I outl. I don't LOL a lot, but I sure did because this guy had to draw. There's the picture as fast as he could, and then you got to do a little shading. He has to make it like, I don't like the nose here. He had to background it a little Bit with, you know, walls. And I think I find that job hysterical.

[Brett]

Paint a little tree right here with some Van Dyke dude has to sit.

[John Holmberg]

There and listen to all that court stuff. And occasionally just like. Well, that's something. Like. It's like being a photographer. I'll take a picture of that. Oh, this is a good moment. And then he just has to remember it. I wonder if he takes photos and then draws the photo. I don't know how that works.

[Brady]

Yeah, the one lawyer has a mohawk. It looks like.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, you know, Brady, come on. The focus is not on that. Don't critique his work that way. I don't have a mohawk.

[Byron]

It's kind of cool.

[John Holmberg]

You think any of the lawyers go over there? What'd you draw my hair like that for? I didn't have my gray charcoal pen. It started to.

[Brady]

Someone had it.

[John Holmberg]

Yes. Got it. It's in another courtroom. I left it at my last hearing, and so I had to improvise. So you got a mohawk icing.

[Brady]

And the guy reached in and grabbed one of his colored pencils.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe that's. Yeah, that's the one that he was trying to stab himself with. But he's got to get his little pens together and his paper and just stand there and go, I gotta find my moment. And they draw so fast. And if you have a kid that wants to do that, would. You wouldn't encourage that kid. I want to draw court sketches. Oh, God. I got one of those.

[Brett]

Your dumb ass has got to be in court, but you're going to say.

[John Holmberg]

You'Re going to live here for the rest of your life. That's. And then he go. It becomes like, I got the Routh case. I got the President Shooter case. No kidding. That's good. You're going to draw that? Yeah, I got to draw that.

[Brady]

It's only for high profile stuff, right?

[John Holmberg]

That just depends on if the judge let. Or certain states don't let cameras in the courtroom. Certain judges are like, no, we're not making this.

[Brady]

Let's get the sketch artist.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And then the ones that don't have cameras, you got to sketch artist. And even the ones that do have cameras, you have a sketch artist. There were a few OJ Sketches, but that, you know, pointless because we saw every second of that thing. So that guy showed up periodically. But the courtroom sketch artist is. Since I was a kid, that. That technology has not changed. I don't know why we can't take snapshots. No cameras in the. But why can't we have, like, just still shots.

[Brady]

Would you like them to be the more caricature stuff? Giant heads, small bodies. Like when you get your thing done.

[John Holmberg]

Caricatures. Yeah, that would be fun to have that guy because he's very fast as well, and he can knock those out. So you like to. He would have been stabbing himself in the neck on the back of a horse or something.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Skydiving. What's two things you love? I don't know. Steelers and skateboards. Okay, watch this. I'm on trial for murder. That's fine. You're gonna be in a Steelers jersey, and you're gonna be riding a pony to a skate park. Why? I didn't say anything about a horse. You're gonna do it anyway.

[Brady]

I remember I was carrying a bag of golf clubs. All your hobbies are always in those sketch things.

[John Holmberg]

I went to San Diego once and walked along that Seaport Village, and I don't remember if this was Megan or the other one. This is. I don't remember which. Who was with me, because it was hilarious. But I think it was Geneva. So we're. We're walking along, and there's this guy, and he's got this, like. He looks like Doug Henning, the old magician. He had this rainbow shirt and a. Like a beret. And he's got these pictures behind him, and that's pretty neat. And he goes, I'll sketch you in three minutes. Three minutes. That's worth it just to see how much is that.

[Brady]

You're on.

[John Holmberg]

This was. Yeah.

[Byron]

Like, you can't.

[John Holmberg]

I'm timing. It's free. It's like a Domino's pizza. Anything over three minutes is a discount. So he gets these pens, and he's got them all rubber banded together. And so I'm sitting there, sitting there, and I swear to God, he just took, like, one Bic pen out of the rubber bands, drew something that wasn't me riding a unicorn, took the other pens. They're all different colors. Just started to scribble all over the thing and made, like, stars and rainbows. And then handed me this thing. It's $75. I'm like, you're out of your mind. No way. It was. I could do this. This is terrible. And where's the art that's behind you? I didn't do those. You son of a bitch. You're sitting in front of somebody else's art. I didn't do that. He just had somebody else on break. Yeah, it was just some dude I gave money to.

[Brady]

Little Griff.

[John Holmberg]

It just penned me real Quick. Like, it was like Charlie Brown. It was a circle, the nose, a stick body. And then he took all the colors and made, like, stars in the back. Pay up. But he drew a unicorn fine. That he was good at. $75. I'm not paying you for this. Where's the. Like, what's behind you is beautiful. I didn't do those. Oh, you bastard. But it was. It was the funniest thing ever because this dude just sat there like, I'm an artist and this is what I do. I'm not going to go work one day in my life. I'm going to grift tourists. And I was. I said it was the most worth it ever because I've done the caricature. Remember when Larry did it with his daughter? Oh, yeah. Larry had. Larry hung it. He had a caricature of he and his daughter. This is one of the funniest moments of our old boss, Chuck Artigue, ever. And Larry was, you know, had a ball cap on. So dude drew Larry with the baseball hat. I don't know, he had like a glove on his hand or something. He did some caricature thing.

[Brett]

And it's Charlie Brown almost trying go play ball.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. But they were. They were together in the picture. And everybody that saw it was like, it's you and your daughter that looks kind of like this plain black hat. Looks like you're about to human traffic her. And we're all teasing. Larry goes, that's my daughter. He was, like, defensive of it, and we're kind of teasing him. And then Chuck comes down and looks at it, goes, get that off your goddamn wall. Looks like a pedophile. Oh, yeah. This is disgusting. It doesn't look like a daughter and a dad. It looks like an old man dating a child. Get it off. And he wasn't wrong. I was dying. There's a good. Kyle says, why are there still court sketch room or a thing? What? Can't AI do that better and faster? That's a good point. AI could do that in a second. You're right. That's what James says. Same thing. AI is going to take that job. So if you're. If you were a kid that only I've never knew that kid. I'm going to grow up and be a sketch artist for court things. You realize all you have to sit through all the boring court cases, you gotta draw every one of them. And yuck. You know, they just sit there and draw dicks on those guys constantly on the ones nobody cares about.

[Brady]

Has to Be the ones they don't pick.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Nobody. He draws a few extras. Like, I'm gonna put a dick on his head. I can draw real good. It's that weird kid in school that always drew on his notebooks, and it's like, did you just draw the teacher with huge cans and. Yep. Check this out.

[Brett]

Nice job, kid.

[John Holmberg]

It's Mr. Garabay with one great big right arm because I think he beats off all day. I hate that guy. Like, yeah, I have Garabe in fifth hour. Let's get to what's really going on here. Just gonna read this. This is. A lot of people will know what I'm talking about by the first line. Dear user, you've been down this road in the last couple days. As you may know, your elected officials in Arizona are requiring us to verify your age before allowing you access to. While safety and compliance are at the forefront of our mission, giving your ID card every time you want to visit an adult platform is not the most effective solution for protecting users and, in fact, will put children and your privacy at risk. In addition, mandating age verification without proper enforcement gives platforms the opportunity to choose whether or not to comply. Just drives traffic to sites with far fewer safety measures in place. And that's exactly what happened at my house just yesterday. Yeah.

[Brett]

Cut off.

[John Holmberg]

Well, pornhub puts up the thing. You have to click on a. You have to show your ID to pornhub. You have to get your wallet out, and it's like, I'm not doing this. So then you just go Google Johnny Sins and Madison Ivy, and you end up on something xcxn and then your phone's just like, there's so much wrong with this site. And you're just like, get out of there. I need to beat off now. And xx and you X out all the warnings and all the problem. Brady, this is one time your terrible way of living is better than all of ours because you're not gonna have an. Brady's phone is the only one that when he goes in for a new one, he actually hands the phone to the guy at the store with problems.

[Katie Hobbs]

Here you go.

[John Holmberg]

Because every time I go back and I get a feeling, here's my old phone, and he goes, let's get rid of, man. This thing is loaded with viruses. It's basically him saying, you beat off to everything.

[Brett]

I'm sitting there for an hour trying to clear everything out there.

[John Holmberg]

You can't get rid of the viruses, though. He knows Brady's is pristine. He's like, have you Even used this.

[Katie Hobbs]

I made a few calls to home mom.

[John Holmberg]

My God, man. You know, it's got the Internet on it. Ooh, the dirty dirty.

[Katie Hobbs]

I don't go to that.

[Brady]

I don't know, there's some searches now or whatever. That's Instagram.

[John Holmberg]

And things have changed for you. But it's not a website. You're visiting. You stay on Instagram. To all the creepy, fetish, crippled people that you tend to enjoy. Us normal folks like the pornhub. It's quick, simple. We've got the system down. It's a nice one.

[Brett]

Get in, get out.

[John Holmberg]

And it's. And it does a good job with the viruses and stuff. And there's absolutely no reason for this to be a thing. And no reason for. You want to talk about first Amendment violations. The government getting involved. And what I click on when it comes to legal stuff, you know, they should have no business in that. Pornhub provides a service that is absolutely legal. And if you. If your kids are getting on there without you knowing it. That's not the government's job. That's the parents job. The government shouldn't make it harder for me to get on porn sites if I want them or you. Because it's protecting children. That is just not the way this is supposed to go. That's what parents are supposed to do. And they forget that sometimes. And then they're like, well, if the government's not gonna fix it, no one will. And that's where I get mad. I knew it. She's here. Dying to get it. These times. Ladies and gentleme Governor Katie Hopps. Come on in.

[Katie Hobbs]

Hi, guys.

[John Holmberg]

Hi, Brad. Hi, Katie.

[Katie Hobbs]

How's it going? Oh, my God. It's been so long since I've been here.

[John Holmberg]

No, where you been?

[Katie Hobbs]

I've been like writing a lot of things about. I love this song. Hi, Brady.

[Brady]

Whatever.

[Katie Hobbs]

Yeah, exactly. I see you got out of your kidney operation.

[Brady]

I did.

[Katie Hobbs]

Shoot.

[Brady]

Damn.

[Katie Hobbs]

You're right. Damn. There it is. I wish I could have slid the doctor a fit to get them out. But are you sure your heart needs to be removed as well? Maybe your eyes. Anyway. I wish I had what my eyes were. I wish my eyes had what Brady's kidney had. Every time I'm in a room with Brady. So the doctors would remove them anyway. That's not why I'm here.

[John Holmberg]

Why are you here?

[Katie Hobbs]

I'm here. I bet hi at least have two reasons. There's one. Why there's a reason I'm always here. I think we both. I think we both know it. Are you going to talk the whole time?

[Dick Toledo]

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[Brett]

533-42 hey Byron, I heard you have something new to announce from MMP Guns.

[Byron]

Brett I sure do. It's MMP Guns Customs MMP Guns is creating some amazing firearms. We offer polishing, plating, bluing, custom laser engraving, laser stippling, cerakoting and performance upgrades. We do everything in house with our master trained craftsmen. You can select our designs or make up your own.

[Brett]

Well, can you do this to my gun?

[Byron]

We can do it to nearly any firearm. Doesn't matter where you live, you can ship it to us or we already have completed firearms and inventory daily with no weight.

[Brett]

Well, there you have it. MMP Guns on the northeast corner of 12th street and Indian School or online at mmpgunscustoms.com need wood? Oliver with 84 Lumber has more planks than a pirate ship and will price match any competitor. Call Oliver at 480-236-5578 or Oliver Star.

[John Holmberg]

S T A R R lumber.com Holmberg's.

[Katie Hobbs]

Morning Sickness the adults are having a conversation. Why don't take your your odd number of kidneys into another room and go eat low salt snacks or high salt. I don't care anyway. I just thought it was a good idea Brett to do the pornhub thing because you don't need that.

[Brett]

Every man needs that.

[Katie Hobbs]

No you don't. Oh yeah, Brett, what do you need?

[Brady]

I agree with you, Brett.

[Katie Hobbs]

What do you need porn for when you have access to everything?

[Brett]

Like what?

[Katie Hobbs]

Everything.

[John Holmberg]

Oh.

[Katie Hobbs]

My Bumpy is in play.

[Brett]

Hear that, Brady?

[Katie Hobbs]

Uh huh, that's right, Brady. I'll let him me there. I had to say that to Brady so I got a little nauseous.

[Brady]

Makes two of us.

[Katie Hobbs]

If ass play became a human being, it would look like you. You're the living human embodiment of anal play. Anyway, Brad, I just wanted to know because we voted against having. You should. It should be harder for you to have porn, but there's a way you can. Yeah, but if you're ever feeling that way, you don't need ID for me. So you just put some soup next to your grandma's nightstand so if she gets hungry at night, she can scream. Grandma, don't you sleep in bed with that old lady. I've seen pictures of you. And it's so heartwarming and touching that you take care of that elderly, decrepit, awful thing and you let it stay in your house and you watch it eat. It's gotta be so hard for you. Look, I've seen it walk. It's like 28 days later. Quit looking at me, Brady. I don't want to catch it. And I'm not talking about your kidney disease. I'm talking about ugly. Don't try to top me. It's not gonna work. You just sit back and take your beat anyway.

[Brett]

A lot of people are mad about it though.

[Katie Hobbs]

I know, but we don't care about that, Brad. It's about us.

[Brett]

John doesn't like it.

[Katie Hobbs]

Who? Anyway? John will figure it out, trust me. He doesn't have really any boundaries as far as what his phone is gonna catch. At least John doesn't end up with an std. His phone can have aids, he doesn't care. But you don't need it. And I want you to know that I'm there for you.

[Brett]

Oh, thanks, Katie.

[Katie Hobbs]

So I'm sorry that everybody has to go with us, but until Brett sees the light and the writing on the wall and then he doesn't have to try. And it's gotta be hard for that old lady with all that osteoporosis and stuff. She has to have to take the weight of a man like you.

[Brett]

Oh, you could do better than that.

[Katie Hobbs]

I don't have 80 year old bones. I mean, you have to remember she's got osteoarthritis. I'm sure. Right. So every time you try to make her legs open it, you need WD40 and a crowbar. Does she creak like the Tin man when she opens her legs for you?

[Brett]

No.

[Katie Hobbs]

Does this noise happen?

[Brady]

That's pretty good, Katie.

[Katie Hobbs]

Thanks, Brady. And then did she say, go get em, tiger? And when you clear away the fog.

[Brady]

The fog?

[Katie Hobbs]

Yeah. When you have to shave it, do you need to get like a license from like, I don't know, the forestry commission or something? Some animal control you have to trinket?

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Katie Hobbs]

I asked your grandmother wife for her idea and she handed me a knitted tapestry. This is the way we used to do it. The 1300. Anyway, Bates, sorry about the porn for everybody else. But Brett, I don't think you need.

[Brett]

Where am I supposed to get my porn from?

[Katie Hobbs]

Let me just turn around and show you.

[John Holmberg]

Oh.

[Katie Hobbs]

Look at that.

[Brett]

How about that, Brady?

[John Holmberg]

How about that?

[Katie Hobbs]

It's like a purple sandwich. Okay, Brett. Sorry, everybody, but I'm doing the pornhub thing for Brett. And we'll get. It'll be fine soon. Do like John does, you perverts, and just find your porn elsewhere. And then get a new phone in a couple months. We're working on Brett to cause the more Brett has to have sex with that thing. When you open her coffin lid, does it smell? I'm trying to make it so you're gonna get horny and then you're gonna roll over and realize, ugh, need something better. And I'm waiting. I'm waiting. I can do the splits.

[Brett]

Oh, really?

[Katie Hobbs]

Whatever you want to do.

[John Holmberg]

Hear that?

[Byron]

Brady time.

[Katie Hobbs]

I'm like. I'm like Brady with a beef rib. It goes all the way in.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man.

[Katie Hobbs]

And also like Brady, it comes all the way out.

[John Holmberg]

Whoa.

[Katie Hobbs]

And then goes all the way back in. You can pick where you want to put it. Just like Brady with a beef. You Beef ribs before I'm sure looking at you.

[John Holmberg]

Gotta.

[Katie Hobbs]

Gotta go. Bye, Brett.

[Brett]

Bye, Katie.

[Brady]

Great to see you.

[John Holmberg]

She didn't hear you.

[Brady]

Darn.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, you can act upset, but she's. She doesn't care. So that's what you get for the pornhub. It turns out that our government officials are just trying to get Brett to be horny enough to call her. It is weird, though, if you haven't gone on there yet.

[Brett]

No, I haven't tried.

[John Holmberg]

Go to pornhub. And it makes it like show id.

[Brett]

Somebody says if you take it off Wi fi. Oh, but I don't. I don't know if that's true. I Think I. I don't know if.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I mean, he said he had.

[Brett]

To do that in Montana. Take his phone out of WI fi.

[John Holmberg]

We're going to find an end around trust. Oh, well, yeah. Yeah. We are not. This. This will understand. Yeah. You can sit and act like, you know, we care about Israel and Gaza and Ukraine and stuff. You take our porn away and suddenly there's going to be some active Americans getting things. There's no question about that. But, yeah, I have to get the notice right there. I am 18, and there. Yeah, there it is. If you take it off WI Fi, it just makes you do the IM. 18. All right. Yeah. What's the point of that?

[Brady]

Another hoop.

[John Holmberg]

It's just. Yeah. Things you got to jump through to have a decent time with yourself. Why make it tougher for me to do that? And again, jumping through hoops to get to that. But I firmly believe that is government interference. You can say the Kimmel thing all day long. You can say, Trump's destroying the freedom and democracy officials in Arizona, and this is all Democrats, so you can be mad. This is them making it harder for you to beat off because kids might see it. Where are the parents? Why aren't we getting down on that?

[Brady]

You can set the phone filters for kids. Okay.

[John Holmberg]

You know, who's going to figure it out before you? You have to ask your kids how to set the filters. I mean, if you.

[Brady]

Again, yeah, but you're talking about hoops.

[John Holmberg]

Right. But my point being, you have to ask your kid. You're worried about how to get the phone to do certain things. Almost every parent is dumber than their kid when it comes to the phone. So if you have to go to your kid and go, all right, I need you to set the adult filters on this. You're not allowed to go here and show me how to do that. That's. He's gonna figure out how to get around it. He's smarter than you when it comes to that. My dad used to make me have to work the VCR because it was confusing setting clocks and doing all that stuff. He couldn't do it. And that's the phone.

[Brady]

So the only hoop for a bunch of guys who have grown up in our era and stuff was finding the magazine that a parent owned or something.

[John Holmberg]

And they were bad at that. We're bloodhounds when it comes to this stuff. We will find the dirty. So pornhub's just making it tougher, but that's real government interference. That's parenting. You got a kid, you're worried about seeing porn on the phone. You know what? Here's the Take the phone away. Never gonna happen. So you run the risk they'll hate. Exactly. The phone is equivalent to giving them a knife and sending them to school. Something bad's gonna happen if you take their phone away. They can't have the phone. You've pretty much started to negate the risk of them seeing bad things on the Internet. If you're worried about that, take their phone away.

[Katie Hobbs]

I can't.

[John Holmberg]

All right, well then they're gonna probably see some bad things.

[Katie Hobbs]

We need to have guidelines.

[John Holmberg]

No, not the ones that stop me. What are your guidelines? That you've lost control of? Your kids have to stop me from doing stuff. I should have safe and free pornography on my phone. That's why phones are as good as they are. If again, look it up. I'm not making this stuff up. If it weren't for porn, we would be closer to the iPhone 4 at this point than we were like the iPhone 26. Now where we're sitting on the iOS. The gigantic advances are all due to our need for pornography. It has advanced technology. From the first time we had technology, the first thing they did in the printing press. Hey, look, it makes words. Does it make naked ladies? Good question. And it did. And they had the porn picture of some lady back. They used to carve women in the side. Everything's all porn. Everything. So don't make it harder than me and people. Look, I got all this. Try private mode. Do this. We've all figured an end around, but the government doesn't need to make us do this. Too many hoops. How about some sort of moratorium on kids phones where they can't go to websites that their parents don't know about?

[Brett]

Not my Hayden Caden Braden.

[Katie Hobbs]

Oh, he wouldn't do that. Oh, he doesn't like alcohol or drugs.

[John Holmberg]

Or pornography or anything. His friends do. Oh, yeah, he's the unicorn. Okay, I see. Ever pick up his towel and wonder what that is?

[Katie Hobbs]

I think he was eating some fluffernutter last night.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's exactly what's on the towel. Dried up fluffernutter.

[Katie Hobbs]

It's all over the place. And evidently he had a bloody nose when his girlfriend came over. Cause I was on the towel.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, okay. Well, at least you can't get pregnant.

[Katie Hobbs]

From a bloody nose.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, they laid a towel down to protect the sheets, not mine.

[Katie Hobbs]

No, he wouldn't do that.

[John Holmberg]

He's 31.

[Katie Hobbs]

He's a virgin.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's right.

[Katie Hobbs]

He's Never had a sip of alcohol and he doesn't even know what porn is.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, right.

[Brady]

Then it might be time for him to move out.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's time for you to just recognize your teenage kid is probably doing it. I love that. I love talking. I love being my age right now. It's a great time. Because I know people who have kids at a certain age that I knew their parents at that age. I always use my friend Mark as an example. I've known Mark since we were 11 and he's got kids who are now ranging between 17 and 24. And I've watched him and deep down he knows. But the woman that he's. He's had. I've heard stories about the things that they've done together and they're just vulgar. And that was back when they've been together for a long time, since they were college. And now their kids are college age and they just won't admit that their kids would even think about doing the stuff that they were doing, which was using shampoo as lube and all sorts of crazy stuff like that. And I always bring it up to them like, you forget I know you two. I knew you when you were 21. Why do you think your kid's different? Just doesn't seem to have interest in those things. Really. Well, that's interesting. I'd like to send his brain to science because he's the most different kid of all time. Your kid's not unique. They're all the same from time on in. They're the same and everybody wants it. Oh, this is a different. Different generation. They behave. Yeah. They're socially different. They still have human feelings and hormones and things like that. That curiosities. Stupid decision making.

[Brady]

You have to make those choices.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And they. And they do. And usually it's the wrong one. That's why it's necessary to have parents until. I hate to break it to your parents till they're 25 now because they ain't going anywhere.

[Brett]

High five.

[John Holmberg]

High five. I had a guy tell me that the other day. You know how expensive it is to send a kid to college? No. What? I don't have any of them. It's $50,000 for my daughter to go to Gen Z. MCC's right down the road. Well, I want her to go to a good school. I don't care about your kid going to a school. I don't have to worry about this. You know what I did? I spent your kid's college education in Vegas. You're an idiot.

[Brett]

We're here with Byron from MMP Guns. Byron, why should someone choose to go to MMP Guns?

[Byron]

The choice is simple, Brett. M and P Guns is your one stop shop for all your shooting needs. We offer Arizona's largest selection handguns, rifles, shotguns, new and pre owned. We also have a selection of ammunition, accessories and even training. In fact right now all pre owned firearms are 20% off. All new firearms are 10% off. We have Ammo Inc. 9mm hollow points for only $12.99 a box and much more.

[Brett]

Well, it sounds like M and P Guns is committed to providing the customers with the best possible service and selection.

[Byron]

That's a fact. You can visit us at the store at northeast corner of 12th street in Indian School or online at mmpguns.com need wood?

[John Holmberg]

Call Oliver Starr with 84 Lumber Price Match Guarantee.

[Brett]

Oliver is an expert in the lumber industry. Call 480-23655 or Oliver Starr.

[John Holmberg]

S T A R R Lumber Dot Comberg's morning sickness. They get mad at you.

[Brett]

Who's the idiot?

[John Holmberg]

You should. You're throwing your money away. Say the same thing about Gonzaga in front of 50 grand a year for Gonzaga. It's $200,000. It's going to take me years in Vegas to hit that mark. We're good. But now that. Now that your kids have wrecked my porn convenience, I turn my eye back to you parents. Time to toss the phones. Brady, again today. Going. I don't know that you've ever done it. You've never gone into Kirby's phone. Let's take a look. You've never done it. You've asked her questions, she's told you the stories. You need to toss her phone. Find out. See where her curiosity leads her history and things like that. She's probably listening right now. And I bet you she picks the phone up, she goes right to clear history just in case dad decides to.

[Brady]

Good. That's a good decision.

[John Holmberg]

You don't want to see it. And that's where parents lose it. Like I don't want to know what they're doing at all. Horrifying. But it's time to toss the cells again, I think. Right now. Get in there and just go. Let's take a look at what you got. You're paying for the phone. You have every right to. This is a violation of my rights. Oh, you don't have those yet. You're my child. Violation of your rights. No, I don't know where you think you are, but. But when you're Inside my house. This is North Korea. And this is how it's going to be. What do you need to see my phone for? I pay for it. It's my phone technically. You need to toss their phone to toss Kirby's phone today. Find out.

[Brett]

Right, someone. Right to your kid living in.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly.

[Brett]

You have the right to pay rent somewhere else. Get the. That. That would be the Kurt Vesli way.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Hey, that's good point. James Fry emails. He says, no pornhub, that's top. But naked people during Pride Week, that's just fine. We can see that all over. Yeah, well, you know, that's just a personal preference. They should have a little warning on that one too. It's a good point. Yeah. The pornhub being shut down in Arizona by politics explains why Grindr had that huge explosion Sunday. It's true. People didn't know what to do. Like, well, I gotta do something. I guess. This is sort of close. I'll just squint, try to make those balls go away. Just looks like a hairy lady. I mean, I'm gonna search shaved twinks and see if I can get some prone position thing where I don't see any of his goods. Shaved twinks, smooth twink, hammered by man. Pornhub ruined it. Yeah. And you're gonna get viruses, that's all. Grinder had an eruption and it did. I thought that was a joke at first, but Sunday Grindr had like a massive push. And they're saying it every time there's a conservative. I had an IT guy, he said it's. Honestly, it's. Every time there's some sort of weird conservative party, they have a Grinder uptick. And I don't know if that's because the gays get nervous that there's so many Republicans in one place that they start just like maybe it's the last day on earth or there's a lot of down low activity at the event. Yeah, I don't know what time to spend with it, I suppose. But there was an awful lot of ground Grinder activity in Phoenix, which is hilarious. If you can put your politics down for a second, that's pretty funny. And Grindr even said, wow, look at the numbers we're pulling in Phoenix this weekend. What's going on in Phoenix? Oh, no, they them hilarious.

[Brett]

How many of our salespeople were on the phone with Grindr this weekend going, you know that just good advertising.

[John Holmberg]

Why don't we advertise? Why isn't. Why don't we have that?

[Brady]

They got it for free.

[John Holmberg]

We'll talk about Grindr for sure. But I'm just saying, why?

[Brady]

I mean, they got some good exposure.

[John Holmberg]

I'll tell you exactly why. Porn doesn't advertise. Doesn't have to.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

We don't need. We are. We will find it.

[Brett]

You don't think Susan's telling them? Moynihan, get over there and talk to the people at Grinder.

[John Holmberg]

Pull pornhub and see if they'll do it. And pornhub's like, we run the ads. We don't know, people find us. Do you know we're kings of the Internet, Right? We are the Internet.

[Brady]

John, will you do an endorsement?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You think it's Yahoo and Instagram? It's not. Would I do an endorsement? Huh? Chilling away. I would make it through the commercial. By the end, I'd be asleep. Check out their specials this week on Shave Twinks. Okay, that's not for you.

[Brady]

When I built my profile.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I'd be.

[Brady]

What was it on the.

[John Holmberg]

In a world where Madison Ivy has to babysit Johnny Sin's daughter, what could happen? It's John Holberg here for pornhub. Here's my.

[Brady]

Or should I say, what was the last one you had?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

When we open it up young, Your profile on.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, on Grindr. I don't remember what I. Yeah. Or as you know, was it Platinum Ass or some virgin ass or something like that? And the dudes were like, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. Yeah, I do movie reviews. If pornhub wanted to use me as an endorser, would be like, today's feature. Slut Takes One in the Mouth. Stepsister Lost. Stuck Under Bed Bigger Than Father. I don't want to give the twist away, but evidently Dad's size wasn't up to snuff. I give this five stars.

[Brady]

There's so many categories. My favorite this weekend was.

[John Holmberg]

And that's my review of Madison Ivy meets Johnny Sins at Home. It's a star review. Wow.

[Brett]

Five squirts. Nice.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they need to have that. Like, in a world, those moments where the movie voice guy does stuff. Johnny Sins is going on vacation. But then something unexpected enters his life.

[Katie Hobbs]

I lost my underpants.

[John Holmberg]

Johnny Sims, Madison Ivy in. Hey, those Weren't my Pants in the first place. It is an overreach, though, of. Of anybody pushing laws onto people. And it's proof. It goes right into the gun argument. Why make people who are legally doing everything right have to tap dance around all the people who are doing it wrong? Get a parent involved. Make it harder for me, in order to just fumble around with a phone.

[Brady]

Sometimes now, you know, just keep it on price private.

[John Holmberg]

Well, now there's got to be something that. Again, I got to go through hoops because you guys won't go through your kids phones. That's essentially what's happening. It's dumb. This guy says, I, as a parent, am responsible for making sure my child is safe, especially with the Internet. I have a safe filter through a Google app that doesn't allow adult mature sites to be seen at all. But even that I don't trust. To be honest, porn is one of the least things I'm worried about my kids seeing compared to stuff like the Charlie Kirk video, the murder stuff, that's all. You're absolutely right.

[Brady]

They were talking this morning about the different gaming platforms on how kids are being groomed with ideology.

[John Holmberg]

And, well, I mean, nobody's paying attention to them. You're like, you know, they games like, you know, everything.

[Brady]

Roblox and all that.

[John Holmberg]

Well, they're suing Roblox now because some lady said it made her kid do something like, where were you?

[Katie Hobbs]

Well, he was being babysat by his. By his screen. And I thought it was better because he was being quiet.

[John Holmberg]

Said I tossed my son's phone weekly. He gets so upset. And all I say is, I'm sorry. This is technically my phone. I pay for it. That's exactly what you should do every week. Let's go in and go. Give me your phone. I'm gonna go through the whole thing. Oh, man. Says, who needs pornhub when you can have AI John? It gives you virtually everything not saying what he actually wrote. Get with the times, man. I don't know. That seems like artificial and I don't like. And they look good, but I realize what I'm doing is borderline pathetic in the first place, and now it's with imaginary people. I need to. I need to. I need to know that the person I'm watching might go to the hospital. AI, I watched a dog. Dog jump out of a deep fryer yesterday. I thought I was watching a thing on Instagram, like, this is neat. And then this golden retriever left and it flipped me off. Yeah, like, oh, okay.

[Brady]

Seen a bunch of different animals.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. There's no risk involved in AI porn. I mean, you watch Johnny Sins do what he does to that tiny little Madison. Ivy, a couple of those videos. You realize she is risking life and limb for my entertainment. AI, it doesn't even really exist.

[Brady]

Now she's gonna be giving you the finger yeah.

[John Holmberg]

AI is not gonna wander off and go, oh, I need a couple days to rest. It can go right at it again. It's just silly. I like there to be some danger. I guess there's none. AI provides no danger. Except for now that I gotta jump through hoops and now I got to go to some weird site and get all sorts of viruses. Don't need that.

[Brady]

This girl just got a three million dollar contract with the record company. She writes the lyrics to the songs and then uses AI to produce the songs.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And they just. It's the first time they put someone under contract.

[John Holmberg]

That's the future. AI is amazing at that. Good stuff. And then finally this morning, the. I want to apologize again for not because I did anything wrong, for on behalf of all the people. And I start with my friend Sherry. You met Sherry the Jew. She calls herself Sherry the Jew. She's. She works at the Dos Equis bar at the arena downtown Suns. And I met her through Kevin Ray and she's awesome. And she works the Diamondback games as well. Sunday, in an effort to appease emotion rather than reality, the Jonas Brothers are supposed to play their concert Sunday night at the Phoenix Arena PHX Arena. That was supposed to happen. And all the vendors, I'm sure, were thrilled. Sold out. Jonas Brothers coming to town. Everybody's going to go there, have a good time. Well, the Mercury decided that they were going to start playing in the play. I don't know if you realize that that's still a thing with the Mercury. Basketball season is still going on and it's the playoffs.

[Brady]

I did see it last night. I didn't watch any. I was going scrolling through it was.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And they won. So there is a game, is there? They got a game now Sunday that is going to take the place of the Jonas Brothers concert. Because you can't tell the Mercury, go play somewhere else. We've got a sold out Jonas Brothers show because they'll scream you hate women. Instead of just going, yeah, that's probably a better decision business decision on this to go to the Jonas Brothers Sunday and then have the WNBA play that game on a neutral site. We got a couple other places you can play down at the Coliseum park.

[Brady]

And still have enough time.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's what I said too. Yeah. Can't we just build it real fast after the Mercury leave or just leave everything, set up for the Jonas Brothers and put the court or play on the practice court and just let everybody.

[Brett]

In there, just play Aquanus Park. Nobody's going to be Careful.

[Brady]

A packed house in there.

[John Holmberg]

Well, they don't have that room anymore. I'm talking about the one up there on 44 Street. They don't have the practice facility anymore. It's a big bar now. It's a nightclub. The old practice room. It's awesome. It's the Nexus Lounge. It's pretty, pretty amazing. So. But you. Yeah. Go up to that thing on 44th and Camelback. They're. They're 5G T mobile, whatever they call that center, the Verizon Mobile Center. And they have their practice and load up the ladies in there and have their game there. Because you're taking money, especially now that tips are no longer taxable. You're taking money out of people who would love to see the Jonas Brothers in that sellout crowd Sunday. People are like, oh, Jonas Brothers are just for kids. No, no, you forget the Jonas Brothers been around for like 20 years now. Their fans are 35 year old women. It's like when the new kids on the block come to town and everybody's like, ugh, it's a bunch of 50 year old broads trying to relive it. The alcohol sales are through the moon. So poor Sherry, my friend Sherry has to sit there and sell nothing to a crowd of angry lesbians. And it's like half full. Because we have to appease the WNBA and their fragile egos and emotions by not saying, you're not bigger than the Jonas Brothers. You guys find another place to play. So the Jonas Brothers have to move. Holmberg's morning sickness. And I don't think that's fair. I think that's bad news. So if they do, if they do, they're gonna play. The Jonas Brothers are gonna have their show Monday. The packed house will be Monday.

[Brady]

They will stick around.

[John Holmberg]

Well, they got a show on Tuesday, I think in like Anaheim or Albuquerque or something. Close, close. And so they're like, well, and I know artists don't like singing two nights in a row, that's for sure.

[Brady]

No night in between.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. So they like a nice break between a big show. They can do it, but you know, it's straining and it messes things up. So if I'm the Jonas Brothers, I'm like, we're getting bumped by the WNBA. Cancel the show. Oh, yeah. And watch, watch the PHX arena go. Yikes. You can't have this 5,000 seat. Close the upper deck playoff game between the Links and the Mercury when we've got a packed house of broads going through their first divorce, remembering what it was like when they were relevant, watching the Jonas Brothers sing to him again.

[Brady]

They don't sell that much flannel Mercury wear to make up for that Jonas Brothers.

[John Holmberg]

Well, they don't even open the upper deck. And then they might for a playoff game and pretend. But they still put the. They black out half of it.

[Brett]

It's gonna be like baseball during COVID They have the cardboard cutouts in the upper deck.

[John Holmberg]

They might do that. Look at this crowd. And it would just be a bunch of, you know, people look like John Goodman from Big Lebowski, except women with yellow lens glasses. Yeah, they got the yellow lens glasses. I mean, that's the lesbian attire John Goodman wore. What? Lesbians watched the Big Lebowski different than us. We're having a good time. And they're like, I like his look. And then they went out immediately got, I want the Goodman from Lebowski. And where do you get those shooting glasses? Hey, man, you look like a giant lesbian, man. That's right, Donnie. Anyway, so a terrible, terrible, terrible marketing decision by the people who run the PHX arena just to not make the women mad. And that's essentially what this is. Women want equality, then be better down in this. I'm talking about the Mercury. You want to be like, consider. They realize, ah, this Jonas Brothers is a bigger draw than us. We can't do this. They remember when they used to do that, though, when the Suns had a game and then they. I remember they had a. The Suns had a preseason game that's coming up again. They got another one like a week, but they got a preseason game and the Mercury in the playoffs. And they're like, nah, we're going to put the Sun's preseason game here. And so they're like, oh, that's garbage. And they threw a big baby fit and started to cry. And the Suns caved. And the preseason game was like, at 3 o' clock and they had to play on the Mercury's floor. All right, so they played the Lakers. I went to that thing. They played the lakers at like 3:30 in the afternoon. And everybody was just in there going. And you went up to like the spinatos and the beer and like, this sucks. We'd be making a fortune if this was. Switch it back. Let the Mercury play in the daytime. Same crowd. Pathetic. Go Merc. I actually kind of hope the Mercury win the championship.

[Brady]

Did they win last night? I didn't.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they did. They were down 20 and came back because the other team was a bunch of girls. You could beat them anytime. You know, eventually they're gonna start sucking. I hope they win it. So the parade is embarrassing again. I do like when they. They have. They try to do what the men do and have, like some meaningful championship parade. And usually it just kind of is just a bus driving around with a bunch of broads standing on top of it for passersby.

[Brady]

This year, if they get it, it'll be. It's good. It ends at title nine.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. No, they definitely have a location at the end. I wouldn't drive them around the city, though. Chicago did it. It was. Was embarrassing. Oh, yeah, Remember that? They had a honk to get people's attention. They're just walking to work, like, oh, what's that?

[Brett]

What's going on with that double decker bus?

[John Holmberg]

All right. Bus full of lesbians just honked at me. Oh, they're the world champions of lesbianism. No, no, it's basketball. That's what I meant. Anyway, congratulations, wnba, for yet again, acting like you want to be as tough as everybody else and then throwing a baby fit when they're power.

[Katie Hobbs]

We get to play there.

[John Holmberg]

It's busy business with the Jonas Brothers back. Who'd have ever guessed that I'd have been standing here going, get that Jonas Brothers concert exactly as it's scheduled. This is important.

[Katie Hobbs]

We're playing the Links on Sunday.

[John Holmberg]

Folded arms, looking all right. Don't piss him off. They get so loud, and then they're gonna call us misogynists and everything else and just let them play. Yep, we'll move the Jonas Brothers to Monday.

[Brady]

They were. It was a tough situation. They would have never lived it down.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, imagine how loud they'd have been if they're like, you're gonna go play somewhere else. We're putting the Jonas Brothers.

[Katie Hobbs]

That's our game, and it's on tv.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's not really on tv. We have cameras, but nobody's watching. If you want to go play at the. We got the desert diamond thing, I.

[Katie Hobbs]

Can'T have basketball out there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they can. We can put a court down pretty much anywhere. How about the. The Mullet? Perfect. That's where a lot of the W is.

[Brett]

Not big enough for the W. Wait a minute.

[John Holmberg]

What about all the people already. BO bought their tickets.

[Brett]

It might sell out.

[John Holmberg]

I bought tickets for that. All right, here's your $8 back. Go buy a new one at the Mullet Arena. Plenty of seats available. Name two players. Nah. I rest my case. You lost Sophie Cunningham. You lost the whole draw. It's over. That's just A joke makes me halfway. Want to buy a Jonas Brothers ticket and put a sign. Sign up. I go to the game Sunday, like with my Jonas Brother silent. Where the hell is. Where's Nick? Some of you look like Jonas Brothers, but where's Nick? Where's Nick? The opening act. Make him the opening act. That'd be kind of neat. Nobody's ever tried that. The wnba. Yeah. The Mercury would be an opening act. And then the Jonas Brothers play after.

[Brady]

About a two hour halftime.

[John Holmberg]

Not a bad idea there. Roll out the Jonas Brothers, change out the tickets, have everybody waiting, like, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, get to your seat. And then have the lesbians go stand outside, buy beer. That way Sherry makes all her money and everybody else at the vendors make their cash. And then when the Jonas Brothers like, thanks, folks. Just clear the stage and get that girl basketball going again for no one to care about.

[Brady]

Amazing. If you even got the Jonas Brothers, you added them in the game.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. If they could play, I bet you they're pretty good. I bet you they. You know what? Here's what I was would guess hadn't played a day. The Jonas Brothers, one of the three Jonas Brothers would be the leading scorer. If they, if they was in the game at the end of the night, you'd be like, wow, nick Jonas scored 27 points. Like, I almost guarantee you that if one of the Jonas Brothers said, we're still coming Sunday and we'll just combo up a couple songs and we'll play. It would be like a. When the Globetrotters went to Gilligan's island in the cartoon or Scooby Doo and they would play his songs and then suddenly be playing basketball and playing a song. Song. I would venture to guess if all three Jonas Brothers just added themselves to the Mercury roster, they would start first off and they would also. One of the three of them would have 27 points. I don't know which one, I don't know which one's good at basketball, but they look pretty athletic. I would guess if they weren't the leading scorer, they would. They would be in the top three of the game. And that's having not played or practiced with anybody at all. Guarantee it.

[Brady]

So. Yeah, I forgot. So Nick Jonas, Joe.

[John Holmberg]

Jonas Joe is one of them. He was married to the girl. The other Jonas Brother, it's Placido Domingo, I think is hitting the third. He's the third tenor. Yeah. What is the third one's name? There's Nick, Joe and like Tommy.

[Brett]

Now we have a look.

[Brady]

Oh, it's got to be.

[John Holmberg]

What's Tommy Jones? Tommy Lee Jones. We're out here doing our songs. Tommy Lee Jonas and the gang. I like to thank the Mercury for letting us have this halftime special. I'm Tommy Lee Jonas. Kevin Gavin. Kevin. Kevin Jonas. He doing with the floppy Afro.

[Brady]

Kj.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Don't make it cute.

[Brett]

There we go.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. And even KJo, the forgotten Jonas brother, he would. He'd score 27. He'd be put. He did four block shots, 27 points and, like, nine rebounds. And that would be like. And also perform a hell of a show right after. I guarantee it. That's what they're really worried about. WNBA putting their foot down. And we're like, all right. Yeah. It's really hard to watch sportscasters try to act like they're interested. You see, when Scott Van Pelt's like, wnba playoff. You know, it's just eating him alive that he's got to lend some credibility to that thing and pretend like everybody's interested. No one cares. They don't do soccer highlights that often on SportsCenter because they know America doesn't care. WNB. They have to. They hear about it. They get nagged into it. It's actually women. Nagging has made the WNBA something.

[Katie Hobbs]

They don't talk about it. You hate women. We'll tell your wife.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, great.

[Katie Hobbs]

Either talk about us or you're a misogynist.

[John Holmberg]

All right. The Links beat the sky. The two dumbest names in basketball history. And we got a couple dumb NBA names, too. The Heat is not exactly. What was the other option? The humid. I wonder. The Heat. That's a terrible basketball. Anyway, that's the thing. F The WNBA costed my chance to have Priyanka Chopra in town. That's that hot billionaire Indian that one of them's married to that's still together. I don't know. I haven't been keeping up with the jungle.

[Brady]

The other one, Lost chick from Game of Thrones.

[John Holmberg]

I had a dream about Priyanka Chopra last night, bro. As one of the forgotten Jonas brothers. Tommy. I'm Tommy Jonas. Two, three, four. Anyway, Brett, what do you got on the big board of Musical Treats? Hopefully the Jonas brothers make an appearance.

[Brett]

No, they didn't, but. Wake Up. Song brought to you by Action Ride Shop. Since pornhub's blocked for some of you guys, well, why not get out and get some exercise? Hit the bikes, get the trails going.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Sorry. Scott Haynes just said, hey, you got that new lighted court in your yard. You have 25 chairs. Just have it at Your house. I'm like, yeah, I think people would appreciate the WNBA on a half court. I think it would be better.

[Brady]

Pool party afterwards.

[John Holmberg]

I got the new lights up. Oh, but during. Yeah, we've got a pool. It's like the Diamondbacks.

[Brett]

Want to see them broads.

[John Holmberg]

No pool, letting them in. I'll be in the pool. Yeah. They're not getting in my pool. No select season tickets. Oh, man, that is the rah rah room of my house. You're not getting in that pool unless I approve you.

[Brett]

So I hit the trails this weekend since you can't get on pornhub. And the best way to do that is to head on over to Action Ride Shop, pick yourself up a brand new bike. They got tons of stuff on sale, including some of their demos. And if you're not sure you want to jump on it, they got. They got a rental fleet there for you. And if you got the old bike in the garage, whether you bought it there or not, they can get it up and running for you. Best wrenches in town are at Action Ride Shop in both locations, as a matter of fact. Gilbert Road and Southern Eog. And of course the brand new location there at power Road and McDowell. It is action Ride Shop. On the list, Slipknot, Wait and Bleed, because apparently it's clown's birthday today. Oh, Aerosmith. Dude looks like a lady For Kimmel. See, they're God smack crying like a. This one came through a million times.

[John Holmberg]

For Kimmel.

[Brett]

Hell yeah. I don't care anymore. For Kimmel, Metallica, System of A Down, Demon Hunter, Bullet For My Valentine, Limp Biscuit 7 Dust and Pantera. Mouth for War. For the Pantera band or the pornhub band.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they banned Pantera too. Yeah, no kidding. How about that? Somebody just aied Nick Jonas dunking on one of the. One of the girls. I'm telling you right now, one of the Jonas Brothers leads in scoring in that game. And it would drive them nuts that that's the case. Let the Jonas Brothers play Sunday. Let them play basketball. I'd go to that. I'd go to that.

[Brady]

Pretty sure they do. I think I've.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah, they rock and jocks and stuff like that. Sure. But I'm just. If they were supposed to play on Sunday, let's combo up the two events. Let the Jonas Brothers take 10 minutes and they wouldn't have to play very long. Play for a half, you'd score 20 something points. One of the Jonas Brothers, just on speed and size.

[Brady]

Maybe they'll come into town you know, on Sunday, they're already playing. Wouldn't it be great play at halftime, too?

[John Holmberg]

I. I would. They would never take it up. I've tried it. I've tried to ask the WNBA let me put together a team of 8th and 9th graders to challenge your world champion. No. You're a jerk. Like, we both know why you're saying no. We don't need to prove anything. That would prove a lot. We would also kind of screw you.

[Katie Hobbs]

We're not the same.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, well, let's stop trying to be the same. Jonas Brothers are your Sunday. Cancel your game. Let's do. Well, crying like a seems to be the. That was.

[Brett]

That was the most bury in our text message.

[John Holmberg]

That's a Jimmy Kimmel special for last night. And we're back to being normal in society again. The door has closed. The chapter is finished. Nobody cares about Jimmy Kimmel again. Starting now. The way it's been for 25 years. Glorious. And he went on TV and cried last night because he's some sort of warrior for free speech. I don't know what that was. It's God's match. It's God smack. It's crying like A. It's 98. It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee. I have heard enough of this. Not great with finances.

[Katie Hobbs]

That's okay.

[John Holmberg]

Experian is your big financial friend. Explore credit card offers. Some labeled no ding decline, which means if you're not approved, they won't hurt your credit scores. See experian.com for details. Applying for no ding decline cards won't hurt your credit scores if you aren't initially approved. 2025 Experian. Experian.