09-24-25 - Jimmy Kimmel Returned To Late Night Last Night w/A Crying Monologue - Torey Lovullo Deserves More Credit For DBacks In Wild Card Hunt - Seeing House w/Multiple Kitchens Has Us Wondering If One Is For Kosher Prep And Questioning Those Reqs

Summary

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Holmberg's Morning Sickness 09-24-25 Episode Summary

Podcast: Holmberg's Morning Sickness (98KUPD)
Date: September 24, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo

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Episode Overview

This episode centers on the return of Jimmy Kimmel to late-night television following a recent controversy and monologue, with a critical look at his cultural impact and the handling of the situation by both Kimmel and ABC. The conversation shifts to sports, notably the surprising prowess of Diamondbacks' manager Torey Lovullo in the Wild Card hunt despite a depleted roster. The crew then dives into a lighthearted discussion of extravagant home kitchens—specifically, kitchens designed for kosher preparation—and riffs on religious rules and their cultural impact, bringing energetic humor and curiosity to each topic.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Jimmy Kimmel’s Return and the Controversy

• Critical Reflection on Kimmel's Late-Night Legacy

  • John questions Kimmel’s place in late-night history, suggesting he never had a culturally significant moment.

    "It's been on for 23, 24 years. Name one moment... Name a moment everyone can go, 'oh yeah, that.'" (03:09)

• Kimmel’s Handling of the Monologue

  • The hosts react to Kimmel opening his return show with tears and an emotional appeal regarding the recent controversy about a joke he made on Charlie Kirk. John and the crew criticize Kimmel’s sincerity and wish he would have owned his joke and perhaps left ABC in protest.

    "Man, oh man, the crying and how now suddenly he's like, oh, my God, I can't believe I hurt someone's feelings. Like, no, you're a comedian. Sometimes you do step on toes. Own it." (05:21) — John

  • They express fatigue over the entire situation and the show’s reliance on political squabbles to stay relevant, joking that the best part of Jimmy’s show “is when it’s over.” (08:48)

  • Brady and John joke about how Kimmel's only memorable moments are when he's crying about political outcomes.

    "The only memorable moment for me was when Kimmel was crying after Kamala lost to Trump and asked what was going to happen to our nation. Yeah. His memorable moments are him sobbing." (09:33) — John

• On ABC’s Response and Broader Media Culture

  • There’s continued criticism of ABC for how they handled the FCC threat and for not backing their talent, as well as a call to just ignore the whole circus.

    "We’re back to an entire nation that... did not care at all that Jimmy Kimmel has a show until he almost blew up everything..." (06:05) — John

  • The hosts observe that Kimmel’s show is once again irrelevant and things are “back to normal.” (10:00, 40:41)

2. Diamondbacks & Torey Lovullo’s Unexpected Success

• Credit Where It's Due

  • John highlights the Arizona Diamondbacks’ persistence in the Wild Card hunt, crediting Torey Lovullo for extracting performance from a team that traded away nearly all top talent mid-season.

    “Tory Lavello might be the greatest manager of no talent ever. You give him some talent. He's not very good. You give him nothing. This dude can make magic.” (12:32) — John

• Lovullo’s Resourcefulness Compared to ‘Mom-Magic’

  • John likens Lovullo to a resourceful mom who can make a meal from bare cupboards, emphasizing his knack for doing much with little.

    “She had like a stick of butter, a tortilla shell, and maybe some eggs...she can make anything out of it. That’s Tory Lovella with baseball.” (13:08) — John

• Playoff Hopes and Historical Comparisons

  • The hosts marvel at the team's turnaround, comparing it to the 2003 Marlins but noting the DBacks did it after selling off, not buying players.

    “Has there ever been a team in history...who sold off everybody at the deadline and competed? …I can’t think of one...” (17:37) — John

  • They agree Lovullo deserves more widespread recognition.

    "...he needs something to say. Look what Tori Lavello did. He needs that credit in the world of sports..." (16:59) — John

3. Extravagant Kitchen Culture and Kosher Requirements

• Multiple Kitchens in a Home

  • John describes visiting Shane Orlando’s new home, amazed by its three (or more) kitchens and joking about what it signals about success.

    “There's three kitchens in the kitchen. It was the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen... It was amazing.” (21:45) — John

  • The crew jokes about how having multiple kitchens is a new marker of “making it,” recalling family homes with party kitchens in the basement for social gatherings.

    "When somebody says that to you—say it's in the kitchen—and someone says which kitchen, you have made it. You have success." (23:05) — John

• Kosher Kitchens and Religious Observance

  • They speculate about the necessity for separate kosher kitchens, touching on Jewish laws around separating meat from dairy, and the requirements for manual (non-electric) kitchens for Sabbath observance.

    “What is that? That the other kitchen for Orthodox Jews is to make food that doesn't touch the Jew food...it remains kosher by not touching the dirty filthy goyum food.” (23:37) — John

• Wider Playful Critique of Religious Customs

  • The conversation expands into humorous but pointed reflections on the intricacies and loop-holes of religious practices—ranging from Sabbath-based home customizations to clothing rules—juxtaposing them with more lenient approaches in other faiths.

    "You got too many gods caring about your meals... but you gotta wear wool and worry about when your kitchen touches something..." (33:48) — John

4. Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Kimmel’s Impact:

  “Name one segment on his show that's like, oh, that's the best. He has made nothing. He's done zero and had no hold on us as a...But somehow or another, this has become like, I wonder what Jimmy Kimmel's gonna [say]. My God, no one has cared.” (03:16) — John

• On Lovullo's "Magic":

  “He takes average to bad and makes it palatable, and it turns them into winners. I’m rooting for the Diamondbacks to get into the playoffs because he needs that accolade.” (16:59) — John

• On Multiple Kitchens:

  “You have made it. You have success. Two kitchens is—or that’s a lot. Or you got that going on." (23:09) — John

• On Judaism and Kitchens:

  “If my God's mad, if my meat touches my milk...Should have gotten two kitchens.” (25:13) — John

• On Religion and Rules:

  “Give me a God that wants me in nice, comfortable clothes, none of these robes and heavy items.” (31:24) — John

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Important Timestamps

• Jimmy Kimmel’s Show and Legacy – 02:10–10:00
• Kimmel’s Emotional Monologue – 05:21–09:43
• Comparison to Other Late Night Figures – 03:10–08:48
• Diamonbacks/MLB talk; Lovullo’s resourcefulness – 12:01–19:35
• Kitchen/House chat, Jewish culinary customs – 21:45–30:03
• Broader critique of religious rules – 24:33–33:48
• Stories about orthodox Jews and local observations – 25:41–37:45
• Return to Shane Orlando's house and kitchens – 38:22–40:42

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Tone and Style

• The episode flows in the show's trademark style: a blend of irreverent humor, observational critique, and genuine local color. John leads thought-provoking, often sarcastic tirades, with Brady and Brett providing asides and anecdotes. While poking fun, the hosts maintain an undercurrent of curiosity and respect for different experiences—even as they challenge or lampoon them.

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Summary in a Nutshell

• The HMS crew dissects Jimmy Kimmel's handling of his late-night return, critiquing the show, the network, and the larger media culture for manufacturing controversy and then trying to play victim. Moving to sports, they wholeheartedly praise Torey Lovullo’s unlikely management heroics with the Diamondbacks. The final chunk of the episode is a freewheeling, often hilarious discussion prompted by the extravagance of homes with multiple kitchens, which segues into a sharp, playful take on the complexities and oddities of religious practices around food and ritual.

Quotable Closing Thought:

“Give us a wake up song. We’ll scream it together. It’s 98 KUPD. Wake up.” (40:41) — John

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Transcript

[Brett]

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[Brady]

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[Dick Toledo]

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[John Holmberg]

Dot Comberg's morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Good morning, everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Wednesday. It's 5:45. This is the morning sickness. My name's John. There's Brady. There's Brett. There's Big Dick Toledo. Let's get it rolling, shall we, and just get it out of the way and finally get back to what life was like before all this nonsense when nobody cared about what Jimmy Kimmel had to say at all. I mean, it used to be that no one quoted or went after or played clips from or even mentioned Jimmy Kimmel show. Here's the thing about Jimmy Kimmel show that struck me yesterday. It's been on for 23, 24 years. Which. Name one. Name a moment. Name one on an episode. Name a moment. Give me a. Give me a cultural. Wow, that was on the Kimmel show moment. Give me one that everyone can go, oh, yeah, that.

[Brett]

Now let me get nest canned.

[John Holmberg]

Give me a letter. Other than this. Yeah, yeah, Letterman. Oh, there's a bunch.

[Brett]

But I'm.

[John Holmberg]

You got Larry, Bud Melman. You got the Velcro suit. You got the seltzer. Stupid, stupid pet tricks. You got the top 10 list. Name one thing Kimmel does. Yeah. Name one segment on his show that's like, oh, that's the best. He has made nothing. He's done zero and had no hold on us as a. But somehow or another, this has become like, I wonder what Jimmy Kimmel's gonna like. My God, no one has cared. But last night he went on, he did his monologue and. And the whole thing. And to me, I've been on Team Jimmy on this one, and I don't find it funny. I don't watch the show. I don't get it. But that's fine. It is what it is. There's a lot of stuff I don't like. You probably wouldn't like me, don't care. But ABC to me was completely wrong. Kowtowed and backed down completely to an FCC threat, which was absolutely incorrect in the way things were handled. Now, I didn't think that they were trying to tear up the, you know, the entire constitution and everything like that, but they were definitely doing something they shouldn't have been doing and needed to be called out. Jimmy went on last night, started crying. That was. It was just. It was Just. It was just sad. And then I hate when people say they did this twice. Yesterday, I saw this, the frustration of it, when they said, Jimmy said, I didn't mean to make fun of Charlie Kirk's thing. Yeah, you did. And own it. Just go out and go, look, I made a. Made a joke that people didn't like. And he kind of said that. Said, I could see where that is. But I didn't mean to. Yeah, you did. You meant every second of it. Boom, you knocked it out. What you meant was not at Charlie Kirk's family. What you meant was to try to make it a political win for your team. You're so lost in politics that you can't have a moment of humanity to just say, this one's off limits. Yeah, you can't do it. You had to. You had. You thought you. And he said last night something else that just punched me in the guts as insincere. This show's not important. And he tried to make it seem like, this isn't any. But why is this show being paid attention to? And to a certain degree, he's 100% right. But he didn't think that until he started getting knocked all over the place by this controversy. He. He thought his show was so important, his audience was going to listen to him say whatever he wanted to say about the Charlie Kirk incident, which he should have just left alone. That's it. Bottom line. But man, oh, man, the crying and how now suddenly he's like, oh, my God, I can't believe I hurt someone's feelings. Like, no, you're a comedian. Sometimes you do step on toes. Own it. I wish last night he would have come out and said, this is my last show on abc. ABC didn't back me. We had a nice talk afterwards. They absolutely did not back me. They caved, and there's no reason for me to go on with them as a partner. Tonight's last show, we'll have a nice deal. We got guests that showed up. We'll do it like it's normal, but that'll be it. Or at least have an end date. But no, if you saw it, and you will see it, it was basically him crying.

[Brady]

ABC wouldn't let that happen either.

[John Holmberg]

Why?

[Brady]

They wouldn't let him say it. They said, we just disagree.

[John Holmberg]

Why?

[Brady]

We're gonna part ways?

[John Holmberg]

No, because that's what I'm saying. You go and you say. You just. You. You do what I always say. You neck. Everybody in. The meeting's going in. And then last night, you just Basically say, they think I'm going to do this monologue. They're wrong. And then. So they don't air it. Big deal. You put ABC in alerts, you don't back them. That's the problem. I just didn't like how he was crying. Like, you know, he was on his hands and knees begging the people that didn't back him to bring him back. So to me, it looked weak and again, wasn't funny. That's the biggest problem with that show. Even the monologue he did wasn't funny. And there, it's over and we're back to normal again. We're back to an entire nation that Democrat and Republican did not care at all that Jimmy Kimmel has a show until he almost blew up everything or until, you know, became a Donald Trump did this. It's his fault. Trump paying attention. And he said, and then he went on last night talking about, I can't believe abc. ABC told me that they were going to fire him. And I don't know what happened between then and now, but I'm going to sue him. It's like, so you keep Jimmy Kimmel relevant by doing. Just ignore it. Ignore it.

[Brady]

Keep it up. The last time I got 16 million, right?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. He started and then he did it again. And you're like, this is exactly why he's. This is the dumbest thing ever.

[Brady]

But then they turn around and there's news today that YouTube is going to review reinstatement of people that got banned from COVID which was the Biden thing.

[John Holmberg]

It's so. It's like, Trump's not alone on this. Everybody wants to play with your side did this. My side did this. Shut up. This is the only thing that's happening right now. That's what you focus on. And it was dumb. And Trump won't let it go. And the whole, nobody's going to care about starting tonight, Jimmy Kimmel show will have terrible, like, ratings and writing. It's going to be both. It's like, it won't be memorable. There won't be a moment tonight that was the most memorable thing that's happened to a show the entire time. It's just, there's been no moment that you can say, wow, this is, like, worth saving, or whatever. It was just. And then it went on, you know, as normal.

[Brady]

I'm sure Glenn Powell was okay.

[John Holmberg]

Glen Powell was fine. I watched it.

[Brady]

Sarah McLaughlin.

[John Holmberg]

It was good. Sarah McLaughlin bored the tears out of me. And I. And I turned it off. It was, it was, you know, I Don't want to watch Sarah McLaughlin as a guest. That's my. You know, not all guests are something I'm gonna sit through. Letterman had musical guests. Jimmy Kimmel's had slipknot on that show before, so he's reached and done that kind of stuff. Letterman used to. I used to love that. That Letterman would occasionally, when he had audio slave up on the marquee again. Another Letterman moment you don't forget is that Audioslave stood on top of the Ed Sullivan Theater marquee out on Broadway and played live on top of the Late show marquee for the street, which was really cool. John.

[Brett]

The best part of Jimmy's show is when it was over.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And that's always how it's been. It was just. And it's. Jo, let's get back to doing what we do best, ignoring Jimmy Kimmel as a whole nation. It's such a small group of people that watch and, you know, don't. And just don't sue him, please. That's stupid. It's just. I says the. And the Academy for best speech Crying Like a award goes to Jimmy Kimmel. I agree. The crying part was where I'm like, man, that's. That just looks.

[Brady]

But didn't you think it was gonna happen?

[John Holmberg]

No. Well, he's a cry. He cries a lot.

[Brady]

For sure. Was gonna, like.

[John Holmberg]

He cries like a man.

[Brady]

Sure enough. You hear? I hear about it the next day.

[John Holmberg]

He said, the only memorable moment for me was when Kimmel was crying after Kamala lost to Trump and asked what was going to happen to our nation. Yeah. His memorable moments are him sobbing.

[Brett]

It was Jimmy after the show.

[John Holmberg]

We got a clip of Jimmy following the show. I don't know what to do.

[Brady]

I don't know what to do.

[John Holmberg]

You can act like a man. What's the matter with you? Is this how you turned out a Hollywood Pinocchio that cries like a woman? Hollywood Fanoke. I don't even know what that means. I know it's funny. I know that's funny. I've laughed harder at a Godfather clip than I ever have at a Kimmel thing. Great stuff. But, you know, he is. He is what he is. Yeah. The crying thing was like, oh, you. You needed to go out there in this gigantic, you know, FCC versus ABC versus the citizens of America battle and show a backbone. And he cried and said, I didn't mean it. You did. You told the joke. You tried a thing. It didn't work out. You can't backtrack. Just go out and Say, that was stupid, wasn't it? Probably not gonna work with ABC much longer. I liked how Bill Maher handled that stuff 24 years ago when he basically told ABC to go themselves when they were like, well, you're out. He's like, fine. And he even said it last Friday. He said, jimmy, if it's anything like what happened to me with ABC, you're gonna have 25 more years on another thing and a much better network. Yeah, they caved. It was bad. But this one says jimmy who? Jimmy Carter. Who is this guy? Exactly. Would have been. Is Carter still. He's gone, right? Yeah. We did lose him finally. Yeah, that's right.

[Brady]

Okay.

[Brett]

They've done about the same, though.

[John Holmberg]

116. Yeah. He was funnier, I thought, especially in the last few pictures I saw when he was in the. In the zombie makeup. That was hilarious. Anyway, and then Kamala had the. Actually never seen anything like this in my life either. Rachel Maddow asked Kamala on her book tour, which is not going well. Asked her about, you said you wouldn't pick Pete Buttigieg because he's gay. And that's tough for me to hear. And Kamala goes, I didn't say that. I did not say that. I said that as a black woman, having a gay running mate would be hard. It would have been risky. Isn't that saying that? I'm not. I didn't pick him because he was gay. Isn't that exactly what.

[Brady]

I'll never win?

[John Holmberg]

Well, I wouldn't win. Yeah. I can't pick him. He's gay. I didn't say that. I just didn't pick him because he's gay. Well, that's what. Huh? And she's going on burning every bridge.

[Brett]

She is ridiculous.

[John Holmberg]

She's ruining everything. I mean, it's. It's. Let's get back to normal, where we were talking about squid. You know what? Only saves. This is sports. And thank God baseball's coming around to being in the playoffs and stuff. And your Diamondbacks are close or game. Hanging in there. One again last night against the Dodgers, who can't seem to play more than six innings without taking a break for a couple hours. And they did it again last night. Diamondbacks came back on Shohei and won. They remain one game back. Tori Laura pulls it off.

[Brett]

Pulls it off his ass at the last. Last part of the season every year.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, his general manager sat down with him in June and said, what do you think? He goes, I don't know if we're not. If we're not running pretty heavy. Over 500. We can't keep up with the big dogs. We can sell. Everybody got rid of a guy who had 40 home runs at the break. They got rid of pitchers. They got rid of everything. Here they are hanging around the playoffs because Tory Lavello might be the greatest manager of no talent ever. You give him some talent. He's not very good. You give him nothing. This dude can make magic. He's like one of those, you know, you spend the night at some kid's house in junior high and stuff, and you and your friend are like, we need to eat something. And there's nothing. But mom showed. My mom was this person. She had like a stick of butter, a tortilla shell, and maybe some eggs. And the next. Somehow or another, there's like a four course meal here. Like, she can make anything out of.

[Brady]

It was female. Jesus.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it was like, where did this come from? Oh, I just whipped this up. Amazing. That's Tory Lovella with baseball. We don't have anything. Cupboards. Bears, like, watch this. And then some glorious meal shows up like you're in a restaurant. Torrey is unbelievable. Won't get the credit. Won't get any of it. I mean, they're only 500 team, but they. They basically said, we'll see you next year in July. Yeah, this is. No, it's going nowhere. And Tory's like, hold my beer. I'm going to get this group of nobodies to start playing ball. And they are playing ball. They're pitching better. They're hitting, beating the Dodgers. Like, the Dodgers are running into this thing as the. You know, they've got to start winning. They're in trouble. And it also. These are playoff games. What you're seeing. The Dodgers are fighting for a position, and the Diamondbacks are trying to get in. And the Diamondbacks are winning, which tells me one thing. This team's going to have confidence going into the playoffs that they can beat a team like the Dodgers. FanDuel is getting you ready for kickoff with an offer you won't want to miss. New customer can bet just $5 and get 300 in bonus bets. If you win, bet 5 bucks. And if it wins, you'll unlock 300 bucks in bonus bets to use all across the app. It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness. And I'm loving FanDuel and football being back, building parlays like crazy. And you can build parlays, bet player props, ride the live lines, whatever your style. FanDuel has got you covered. And all you have to do is visit fanduel.comkupd to download the FanDuel app today and get started. I'll be all over my Steelers this week. It's going to be a blast for me. FanDuel.com KUPD is the promo code. Put it in there and download the FanDuel app today. 21 plus and present in Arizona. First online real money wager only $5. First deposit required. Bonus issued is non withdrawable bonus bets which expire seven days after receipt. Restrictions apply. See terms@sportsbook fanduel.com gambling problem. Call 1-800-next-step or text next step to.

[Brett]

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[Byron]

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[Brett]

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[Brett]

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[John Holmberg]

Not sure they can beat Milwaukee, Philly, even the Cubs. But they can knock the Dodgers out and feel pretty good about themselves. This is amazing. So, Tory Lovello, you're kind of a God around here with nobody knowing that we're not. We're too busy paying attention to Jimmy Kimmel than to look down the street and go that manager we got there is pretty damn impressive.

[Brett]

You said trade Suarez, Kelly, I mean Naylor and comes out smelling like roses.

[John Holmberg]

All the power got traded away except Corbin and their pitching staff which was already dinged up. Yeah, we'll trade the trade the next best guy and get something for him. You got dudes named Blaze Alexander. Last time I saw that's a stripper's name and he's a boy and he's doing. He's killing it. It's great. It's great to watch and it's fun.

[Brady]

So good reputation for coach too it's like, listen to the coach. He'll take you.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. If you.

[Brady]

Whereas the other players are like, you don't need.

[John Holmberg]

If you've always stunk at baseball, come to Arizona. Tory will make it so you can actually win. If you're. If you're a guy who everybody's kind of like, he's not going to make it. You probably won't be like a big household name, but you're going to be on a team that wins. He takes average to bad and makes it palatable, and it turns them into winners. I'm rooting for the Diamondbacks to get into the playoffs because he needs that accolade. He needs something to say. Look what Tori Lavello did. He needs that credit in the world of sports because he's doing this under the radar. I mean, everybody kind of says it. This is amazing.

[Brady]

The next step would be great. When they show him in the dugout and he's holding a beer.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And just in a T shirt with stains on it. He's Italian. It's, It's. It is absolutely amazing what this guy's pulling off. And if without the playoffs, nobody's going to notice, but he has turned. He made a deal with the devil with this one. This is outstanding. No, I don't think. Has there ever been a team in history of baseball or basketball who sold off everybody at the deadline and competed? Has there ever been a team that said, you know, we're sellers at the. At the. In the. At the midpoint that comes to mind? I can't think of one team that's gotten better after they got rid of all their good players in the middle of a year. The only thing that I remember is The Marlins of 2003, when they started with like 25 wins, they were terrible. 25 and 50. They fired their manager and got Jim Leland in there and then went nuts, won the World Series. It was like, what?

[Brett]

But they didn't sell everybody off. They made their changes, but they didn't sell.

[John Holmberg]

They were awful. And you're right. Yeah. But they had a. They had a high payroll. They had already gone out and gotten some guys. Yeah. They didn't sell players.

[Brady]

They just using Blockbuster money.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Back when that was the thing. Just get it. I'll never, ever not have money. I own Blockbuster. Their owner said, do you realize who I am? I own Blockbuster. There's piles of money. And they just did. It keeps piling up, and it'll never stop. And it's always gonna flow. It's crazy. Tori Lavello, you are a. You're getting it done. I'm going to the game tonight. So I'm kind of sort of in awe of this whole thing. I've seen. I get to see Shohei play, which is. I mean, people don't realize that either. When that dude's in town, you're watching. Watching something pretty remarkable. I watched him hit a home run. And the game I was in last. Last time the Dodgers were here, and I was like, all right, check that off. I've seen Randy Johnson. I've seen, oddly enough, Wayne Gretzky play. But that was in a. That was weird because it was kind of when it was almost all over.

[Brady]

And just odd, uneventful.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it was eventful in that. There's Wayne. Yeah.

[Brady]

You know, his skate tour, his final skate.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he was there. He played. He was still good. But it was not, you know, you weren't sitting there going, oh, he's the greatest player I've ever watched. So it was kind of weird because you're not watching. He wasn't even the best guy on the ice that night. It wasn't even close to that. But prior to that, I mean, the best thing you'd ever seen. So you got time in the same arena with him, but it wasn't at his peak. You're watching Shohei at, you know, his prime, doing things that nobody's ever done. And we got. We got. We were lucky enough to see Randy Johnson do things that will, you know, you can't. You can't erase it from your mind. When you've seen Randy Johnson pitch, you can't erase that from your mind the first time.

[Brady]

22 circle k ks up and up.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. When you start seeing. I remember sitting in the stadium looking at those K's. They have the. And it's every strikeout, and you're like, my God, that whole wall is full. They ran out of room a couple of times. He was striking people out so much. And then he came back a few years after he left for the Yankees and stuff then, remember when he came back and you're like, all right, you go to a game, there's Randy's pitching. It wasn't the same Randy, but you're still seeing one of the greats. You just want to see him doing there. So we've seen it. We've been lucky enough to see an awful lot of it. You know who I never saw, Would have loved to. Was Tom Brady in person. I never, ever saw him play a game while I was in the like. And it was all on tv. And there is something different about being at the arena and seeing, wow, this is happening and I get to soak it in and watch this guy play from a perspective of being in the stadium. Never saw time, never saw that one. But been lucky enough to see a lot of that stuff, seen a lot of it come through. Don't want to take that for granted. So tonight I'll see that. Speaking of things, I've seen Shane Orlando's birthday last night I went to his house for his birthday party. He built a resort and now he lives in it. There's three kitchens in the kitchen. It was the weirdest thing I've ever seen. It was amazing. It's the Monte Lucia. He rebuilt this. Gorgeous. It's beautiful. And hey, what do you think of the house? You like it? I'm like, yeah, it's gorgeous. Why do you have so many kitchens? Oh, J.J. catered. She had a catering business. Like aren't you supposed to still say she is catering to have three kitchens if she's quit catering. There was a kitchen upstairs. There were two kitchens in the kitchen. I'm not kidding when I say that there was a kitchen and then you turned to your left and then the room next to it was a kitchen. They were amazing kitchens too.

[Brady]

It was like a showroom. How would you like your kitchen done?

[John Holmberg]

It reminded me of like if. If the VFW had millions of dollars and you walk into the room where everybody's going to be meeting like this is a beautiful space. There's the kitchen, obviously that's it. And then over here there's the kitchen. Well, there's two of them. It was amazing. The place was unbelievable and changed to such a. Such a good dude. He's such a nice person but beautiful house. Gorgeous. So thank you to Shane and that place which is amazing and made me realize that I'm not living a very good life. I've only got one kitchen and next to that kitchen is some useless room that I hardly use. It's silly. We need a second kitchen inside the kitchen. You know when you go that's in the kitchen. I want someone in my house say which one? That's. That's the goal. That's sign of success now. I didn't realize that I need it.

[Brady]

I like my head. My grandfather's place because he had the upstairs kitchen and the basement. He totally finished out another kitchen.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And then a kitchen.

[Brady]

That's where it have the. Yeah. The kitchen in the main house.

[John Holmberg]

Regular kitchen.

[Brady]

But the basement was like the party room. So it had a kitchen and a bar and that's where we do the family holidays.

[John Holmberg]

It's amazing which kitchen. When somebody says that to you.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Say it's in the kitchen and someone says which kitchen. You have made it. You have success. Two kitchens is.

[Brady]

Or your.

[John Holmberg]

Or that's a lot. Or you got that going on. That. That is true too. That is. All right. Well. And most of them are successful. So it all. It all pans together.

[Brett]

The chain convert. Did you convert them over or something or what?

[John Holmberg]

It all seemed to still be machinery because the second Jewish kitchen has to be is manual. Right.

[Brady]

Shane Orlando, his Hollywood name.

[John Holmberg]

It could be. And he could be his Hollywood name. Yeah. I don't know. It was but it was. What is that? That the other kitchen for Orthodox Jews is to make food that doesn't touch the Jew food. Yeah. It's all kosher but the other kitchen is not and it remains kosher by not touching the dirty filthy goyum food.

[Brady]

I think so.

[John Holmberg]

I think so too. I don't know. But double kitchens, that's the key to it all. And is the other kitchen have to be that Sunday thing or when they're not. Or Saturday when they're not allowed to work any electronics or. Yeah, yeah because I've seen that before where you go to an Orthodox Jewish person's place and they've got a whole section of stuff that doesn't work on buttons or electronics. They can't use anything. It all has to be manually operated for them to like it. No, no assistance from mechanics.

[Byron]

I don't.

[Brady]

Yeah, that's still.

[John Holmberg]

Oh it's a thing because I. Oh yeah.

[Brett]

Separating meat and dairy. Ah I guess is the thing.

[John Holmberg]

Keep those cloven hooved gross things off.

[Brett]

Of my milk reducing the era chances of cross contamination.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. Because that's man telling you what. Not a religious man but one that makes me worry about that kind of stuff. If my God's mad, if my meat touches my milk and I'm still living a life that's pretty. You got your meat and you can't go to heaven because that time you. You ate, you drank milk and had meat and you decided to taste a little cloven hoof love. And your guys like you were great except for that one moment you ate that man. I tell you what, that ain't. That's bull. You're out. Oh I wore wool on Saturdays in Phoenix, you bastard. And you tell me I can't get in because of meat Milk thing. Hey, you knew the rules. Son of a bitch. Should have gotten two kitchens. Well, it's kind of expensive down there. What if I washed kitchen one real good on Friday night and then over the weekend. Nope, nope, nope. Can't get in. You're going to hell. Like, God dang it and that kind of crap right there. Words like that, that's getting you out too.

[Brady]

You're fine with the adultery.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you forgave me for that. Been hammering that side. But the Bible also says that that woman thing is they're not important. So you can supposed to have a bunch of those. But boy, you got meat and milk all screwed up. You're not going in. And those poor bastards in my neighborhood, I don't know where it is, but there's a hive of them that live. And I tell you again, I've told the story several times. You haven't lived to. And it's that time of year again. Baseball's hot in the air and the temperatures are dropping. The orthodox Jews hit Granada park over there in Phoenix in their outfits and play one of the more rousing games of softball you've ever seen in your life in slippery dress shoes. And they're not wearing tennies. The men are all in those capes and the hats and they're just standing there and playing good baseball. Like good, good plays are being made. It's incredible.

[Brett]

Tori needs to be recruiting down.

[John Holmberg]

You know what they would. They wouldn't be battling for a wild card. They'd be in. That would be clinched. They'd be like, yeah, they'd be. They might be a division winner with what I saw. And that's of course when that little seven year old boy came over and said, is that your dog? What a lovely dog. Mary pet your dog. And I'm like, you, you're seven. Where's the accent coming from? You live here. You know, it's around the house. We'll talk like this. What a beautiful animal. I can't touch it because you know I will go to hell. I've had milk. What? Milk and dairy and meats. If that gets you through. That's not a religion I can get behind. I admire anybody who wants to jump in on that. But there are many easier religions to get around there, like Catholicism and Christianity. Oh my God. Those people do anything they want and just apologize a couple days later. They wear a poly cotton glen. On the weekends they can wear comfortable clothes. When I go by Granada park on the. I've said this a billion times. Driving down by Granada park on a Saturday in the summer and they're not allowed to drive anywhere. If they need to go somewhere, they got to walk. And they're in all this, they're just head to toe. And I just sit there and I'm like, poor Jews. I say it all the time. I feel terrible for them because they get a God that wants you in a tank top and jean shorts and flip flops. That is a God that cares about you. You're des. Not even Phoenix. He did this to them back in the original days when they were walking the desert. Don't forget your wool clothes. Like what the. Why wool?

[Brett]

We're here with Byron from MMP Guns. Byron, why should someone choose to go to MMP Guns?

[Byron]

The choice is simple, Brett. MMP Guns is your one stop shop for all your shooting needs. We offer Arizona's largest selection. Handguns, rifles, shotguns, new and pre owned. We also have a large selection of ammunition, accessories and even training. In fact, right now, all pre owned firearms, 20% off. All new firearms are 10% off. We have ammo, ink, 9mm hollow points for only $12.99 a box and much more.

[Brett]

Well, it sounds like MMP Guns is committed to providing the customers with the best possible service and selection.

[Byron]

That's a fact. You can visit us at the store at northeast corner of 12th street in Indian School or online at mmpguns.com need wood?

[Brett]

Oliver with 84 Lumber has more planks than a pirate ship and will price match any competitor. Call Oliver at 480-236-5578 or. Oliver Starr S T A R R Lumber.

[John Holmberg]

Holmberg's morning sickness. Why didn't you. Can I get something lighter, please? Nope. Gotta be wool. And don't even look at that cloven animal. Don't do it. And if it's not bled right, you're going to hell. Why is it all depending on how I eat?

[Brady]

It's gotten more casual. I mean even when I was a.

[John Holmberg]

Kid went to church with them.

[Brady]

Originally we had to dress up. We didn't have to wear.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you guys just like you barely even try flying. None of you have read the book. You all pretend you know something about it. You pick your favorite parts. These folks over here on Saturdays at Granada park, they're living something. They're using wood sticks and stirring things and wood pots to make food because they're not allowed to have. Then they make their own fire. No car. They gotta walk around in wool. They're playing softball. That's all they've Got to do. No TVs, no entertainment, you can't watch. It's crazy. And they seem fine. You got two kitchens. That's why. Got two kitchens. Life is better asking. Maybe Shane does have some. Maybe that's why. Because she was a caterer. If she ever had to cater a Jewish thing, she has a kosher kitchen.

[Brady]

I was just thinking of all the times. Look at whatever Zillow or home listings. How many times have you come across.

[John Holmberg]

And has two kids, a second kitchen, and the other one's never been tainted with any of that hellbound meat. I would. If I could sit down with any of your gods and I'd say, what's the deal with food, man? You had it in your first book that, like, lobster was off the menu. What? Why? You made these delicious sea bugs. And then we started to eat them and we're like, take that out of the book. And he did. That's the best part. His first rule of law. This is the Old Testament word of God, and none shall change these words. That's it. No crustaceans, no tattoos. Next one's like, forget that whole thing. I just. I had crab for the first time. I was way off base on that one. If he's God, crab legs are really good.

[Brady]

You know what, changing it up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. If he knows the beginning, middle and end. Why do you write that first book with so many mistakes? Then you have an editor in there going, you're going to change your mind. You remember, you can see the future. You're going to change your mind about the crab thing. Yeah. Yeah. Well, let them deal with that. The Jew God won't even let him touch cloven hoof stuff. And milk can't get. It's got to be. Look, I'm a lot more lenient about your meals. I just had a. I just had a little moment there with the crabs. He's like. God's like, trump, I don't like crabs. So they're in the book there. And then later it's like, you know what crab and I made up? They're back in. This one says, John, I'm sure you already know as a practicing Jew, you're not allowed to use mechanics on Saturdays. Loophole is they pay non Jews to turn on and off their lights and flush their toilets. It's called the sabbat. Sabbat Goys. So they get goyims to come over, start touching the stuff they're not allowed to. It's a Jew loophole. How about that? Sure. Toledo does that as a Side job because it's a cucks profession. Okay, thanks, Ryan. I didn't know anything about that. I'm not an orthodox Jew. I just play a Jew on tv. Crazy. Anyway, give me a. Give me a God that wants me in nice, comfortable clothes, none of these robes and heavy items. The Catholics lost their minds, too. If you wanted to get involved, you gotta. You gotta get all crazy with that. And the Jews took it to another level by sticking desert people in wool and making it a rule. Mormons have that figured out. At least they went short sleeves.

[Brady]

Live your life like you can, then just reset it like an Etch A Sketch every Sunday.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's the thing I like about your side is, like, I'm out there hosing stuff. I'm having dirty thoughts. But I'm human and I make mistakes, like. Oh, so you don't really believe you're being watched? No, I am. I just don't care that he watches me beat off. I'll tell him I'm sorry on Sunday. So the weekly apology happens. Everybody feels good, and then on Tuesday, there you are wiping tummy puddles off after a nice moment with Madison Ivy on pornhub. I'll tell him again next Sunday that that's religion. That's a religion I can get behind. Sorry about that. Stop breaking the rules. We both know that's not gonna happen, but, yeah, in fact, if you see the future, I don't need to apologize to you. You've seen me. Why don't I just pile this up at the end? That deathbed confession seems pretty good. I'll do that. Can I not wear wool anymore? Nope. Gotta wear wool or you're going to hell. Jeez. You know what would be better? When you get to hell and the devil looks at you and he goes, what's with the wool? You can take that off. Like, finally. This is first thing in hell is better than what I was doing. I like to wear the wool. The wool is very important. Can I pet your dog? Don't pet my dog. You're gonna get your swampy wool hands all over my dog. I can't touch a leash. Your leash lights up. Ugh. It's dusk. I understand why you're doing it, but please.

[Brady]

Fifteen hundred dollars to ten grand. Those giant fur hats that they have on them are amazing.

[John Holmberg]

Daniel says, my God, what a band name. Hellbound Meat. Didn't even catch that one. I like Drew Loophole better, but I think Hellbound Meat is fantastic.

[Brett]

Marcus plays that band already. It's got to be a Band.

[John Holmberg]

Google that. I bet you Hellbound Meat is the thing. Yeah. Meet me in hell. M E A T. Yeah. Yeah. You got too many gods caring about your meals. And, I mean, I understand, but what if it was just like. That's just you, Gluttony. I get the balanced meal, but you gotta wear wool and worry about what? When your kitchen touches something and that. Remember that lady that yelled at you because you shook hands with her? Or tried to try to. You touched a Jewish lady on Saturday and she lost her mom, had to go home. I should go bathe. She'll wash off the goyim. Poison another man. He basically should have just closed it. Brady. Well, we might as well have sex.

[Brady]

I went in for the hug.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. He tried to hug some Jewish lady. She started crying and ran out. And the husband's like, you're not allowed to bang my wife like that. I don't know that I did that. Well, in the eyes of God, you did, you jerk. This is good. I'm going to hear about this. And I think my answer to that was, don't take her out. Don't go introducing your wife if she's not allowed to touch another man at all. Shouldn't leave the house that day if it means that much to you.

[Brady]

The business.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. You were in a manufacturer. Yeah. You were in some warehouse.

[Brady]

I'm a client.

[John Holmberg]

Nice to meet you. I'm gonna give you a hug. She must have been kind of hot. Yeah.

[Brett]

She didn't get the fist bump.

[John Holmberg]

No. Well, fist bump's the same as Brady. Might as well just anal. Yeah. Am I going after. Because the fist bump was equally as awful as what Brady did. We both learned that day, don't touch them. I don't like touching people, but that's taking it to an extreme. Jason says you think any Jews gonna pay us goyims to do stuff for them on Saturdays? Yes. Look, that's the one time they loosen it up a little bit because I have to turn the lights on. I need a goyam. Do they just light candles? I mean, that's not. I can't get behind that kind of thing. I would never.

[Brett]

No one ever discovers the Amish then. I mean, what is this?

[John Holmberg]

No one's ever a born again Orthodox Jew because they find out about Saturdays and they're like, geez Louise, that's. I'm not gonna. I'm gonna fail that every weekend. You couldn't watch Ohio State. You couldn't have any college football unless you kind of wandered over to it. Or did The Julupo and had Brett come over. What channel? Turn it to the Ohio State game. Ah, you're doing all the work in.

[Brady]

A neighborhood where you can see the TV from your backyard.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's the one. That's why they're all outside on Saturday. Just dawned on me. They're looking in your windows watching the game. It's all just for a leisurely walk in my giant wool suit in 108 degrees. The Diamondbacks on.

[Brett]

Now, could you technically turn the TV on it, you know, at midnight, right. Or 11:59 and just let it roll all day?

[John Holmberg]

But you can't change the channel.

[Brett]

You just got to make sure it's on the Ohio game, you know, you gotta make sure you got the right.

[John Holmberg]

Channel to look at the guide. I already found the guide. Oh, you can't turn the television on, Hector. You can't do it. I didn't. Brad came over last night, turned it on. I left it on. I can't turn it off anyway. Yeah, that's religion. I. Look, I'm not saying you can't do it. I'm fine, man. I'm saying I'm not good enough at Brady's. Cruddy religion that just basically allows you to do whatever you want and just say, whoops, sorry. It's your deathbed, these people. Saturdays in the wool. It is. That's another great band name. That is a rough one to see in summertime. And then you're real. I can't turn my TV on and off. Who's winning the game? Let's go to that window underneath the wall.

[Brady]

You take it off, there's a scatter boost.

[John Holmberg]

There's another one right there underneath the wall. Anytime you throw that kind of stuff, those band names are pretty solid. I like the scatter Boys. What are you gonna do? I don't shake hands with him. He can't touch my wife because it's essentially like banging her anyway. Yeah, when Brady did that, we. You told me that, and I'm like, I never knew that was a thing. Yeah, you can.

[Brady]

And that was just it. It was just a handshake. Oh, nice to me.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you were gonna. You were gonna be cute and try to go in for somebody. She already touched her hand, but she put. She had that.

[Brady]

We didn't touch.

[John Holmberg]

We were trying to touch.

[Brady]

I reached out and she reacted like.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, I tried to touch some woman.

[Brady]

What did I do? That's an insult.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And that's why I asked my friend what happened there?

[John Holmberg]

Well, you also had your dick Out. I don't even remember that part, but I forgot it was summer. Look who showed up. Hey, look who came to the party about my best friends along with me. Anyway. Anyway, I don't know how we got off on that topic, but there it is. Why did we start talking about that?

[Brett]

Shane Orlando's double kitchen.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. Gorgeous house.

[Brett]

Triple.

[Brady]

He has triple, right.

[John Holmberg]

Three kitchens went up to the guest house, which is attached to the house kitchen. Outside, that's four technically. Because outside the guest house is this giant patio with another kitchen. That's four kitchens.

[Brady]

Probably got a pretty good barbecue.

[John Holmberg]

That's what it was. It was basically a kitchen with a barbecue. And yeah, it was pretty amazing. And a couple of those, by the way, one upstairs if you ever need a place to stay. Shane's house is amazing because the second, the. The other part, that isn't where the Maine people live. It's just on top of the. Where the main people live. A kitchen, two bedrooms, nice thing. And then an outdoor patio. That's the best part of the whole house.

[Brady]

Orlando Resort.

[John Holmberg]

It was better than Disneyland. It was going to Orlando. He was awesome. So it's just beautiful. Built it himself, too, which is great because he's got that. But it was pretty awesome. So thanks to Shane last night for hosting that. I was only there for like an hour or so, but it's pretty awesome. And Shane, it's like, just moved in a couple days ago. So the pool didn't have any water in it. Like, it was one of those. It's almost finished. The inside's pretty much done. So I'm getting. Shane didn't know where anything was. Can I get you a drink? I always like to drink. And I said, I don't know. What do you got? So he points to the bar and. Pretty nice bar. And I said, I'll just have a vodka soda. When you say soda, what, like Fresca or like. What do you have? Like that. Let's just start here. What do you have? And then I'll make something out of that. So I had a Diet Coke and vodka, which I've. That's new. Yeah. And I just saw things. I'm like, I know. I like that. I'm not supposed to be drinking that right now because I'm trying to quit. But the vodka. I'm not trying to quit. I'm just trying to find new mixers. He didn't have any soda. And Shane's just opening every drawer, trying to see where things were. I'm like, I got this I knew his house better than him. By the end of the night, were.

[Brady]

You like Frank the tank after you tasted the Diet Coke?

[John Holmberg]

It's not bad.

[Brady]

So good.

[John Holmberg]

Damn it. Man, that is having a couple weeks off from the Diet Coke has been.

[Brett]

Streaking down Shane's street.

[Brady]

Yeah, he went through a case last night.

[John Holmberg]

It was a little baby mini can, so I didn't feel so bad about I didn't drink the whole thing, but. Oh, when it touched the lips, my friend and I were back together. At least it wasn't cloven hooved soda. That's all. Let's get a wake up song. 585-9800. A good one. As we begin life again, ignoring Jimmy Kimmel. And isn't it better already to just get it out of our system?

[Brady]

It's over.

[John Holmberg]

It's over. Back to not watching Kimmel as a nation. Oh, what a. We're back. It feels normal again. And it kind of puts a bookend on the whole nightmarish Charlie Kirk, Trump, all this stuff. It kind of ended it last night. It's like, okay, fine, he's back where he belongs in a place I didn't care about and we can all get back to normal. Give us a wake up song. We'll scream it together. It's 98 KUPD. Wake up. Hey, it's not weird.

[Brady]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[John Holmberg]

No membership fees. I have heard enough of this.