Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Entertainment Drill – THU – w/Dale Hellestrae – "How Cardi B Lost Her Butt Piercing"
Podcast: Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona (98KUPD)
Air Date: September 25, 2025
Guest: Dale Hellestrae

Episode Overview

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness, featuring John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo, and guest Dale Hellestrae, delivers an irreverent spin on celebrity news, personal anecdotes, and comedic banter. The focus is hilariously skewed toward Cardi B's lost butt crack piercing, but the crew also covers medical scares in the celebrity world, weird childhood name origins, and the practicalities (or not) of machete ownership and self-defense.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Phoenix and the Rise of Machete Attacks

• The team opens with a discussion about self-defense and the improbably regular occurrence of machete attacks in Phoenix.
• Surprise is expressed that machetes are readily available at Walmart and Home Depot ([01:22], [01:30]).
• John pitches the merits of self-defense training at React Defense, humorously likening preparation for machete attacks to having fire alarms in a home:

  “You don’t call it paranoid when you do that. That’s called preparation. It’s called being ready. Same thing with self-defense.” – John ([02:07])

2. William Shatner’s Health Scare

• Brady shares that William Shatner was hospitalized due to low blood sugar at age 94 but was quickly released ([03:03]).

• The group jokes about the undesirability of living to an advanced age, referencing a 105-year-old golfer:

  “That lady that was golfing at 105, yuck. Somebody knock her in the lake. It’s over.” – John ([03:38])

• Reflecting on mortality and aging, Holmberg and crew keep the tone light and self-deprecating.

3. The Oddity of Celebrities' and Hosts’ Names

• News breaks that Leonardo DiCaprio almost changed his name to “Lenny Williams” due to an agent’s advice. The backstory covers his middle name “Wilhelm,” and a discussion follows about the practice of parents naming kids after exes or acquaintances ([04:13]–[05:02]).
• Entertaining personal stories emerge:
  • John realizes his mom essentially named him after a high school boyfriend ([05:30]–[06:01]).
  • Dale shares his own naming logic, aiming to avoid names that rhyme with bad words for his daughters ([06:12]).
• The group teases Brady for never going by his first name, "David":

  “He asked no questions, so he has no answers.” – John ([05:13])

4. The Cardi B Diamond Butt Crack Piercing Saga

• The main event: the group unpacks how Cardi B lost her $13,000 diamond butt crack piercing, as revealed on the “Call Her Daddy” podcast.

  “She lost it… I realized during a poop. I was looking around, I was looking at my pants and my panties and stuff and I’m like, yep, went down the toilet.” – (Cardi B, paraphrased by Brady at [08:19])

• The crew discusses the ridiculousness of such an expensive piercing and Cardi B’s candidness:

  “What kind of pig talks about taking a dump? She’s a real… she’s a pig.” – John ([08:31])
  “She’s got some cash. She’s alright. That 13 grand in her ass was peanuts.” – John ([08:44])

• A particularly explicit Cardi B quote on not feeling the piercing due to numbness from body work:

  “I practically did a tummy tuck on my ass. So, like the top of my ass, that skin part is numb. So when I pierce my ass, I ain’t feel nothing.” – Brady reading Cardi B ([08:55])

• The guys react to photos of Cardi, with the usual mix of awe and ribald humor ([09:18]–[09:40]):

  “How are you ever gonna see the piercing?... Needed a 13,000 carat diamond.” – John ([09:22], [09:27])

5. Episode Wind-Down & Glib Banter

• John invites Dale to join another podcast, with the banter showing their easy camaraderie ([09:56]).
• Chat about a KUPD appearance and promotional event wraps the show, with a joke about dressing up as Macho Man Savage ([10:23]).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On machete defense:

“Machete attacks. It’s all you need to think about. It happens. It’s crazy.” – John ([02:07])

On getting older:

“94 sounds awful.” – John ([04:06])

Name revelations:

“My mom picked the name of someone cause she hated my dad at the time. Cuz he wanted to name me Alvar. And my mom’s like, no, John.” – John ([05:30])

On Cardi B’s lost piercing:

“I realized, I was like, hold up. I was looking around, I was looking at my pants and my panties and stuff and I’m like, yep, went down the toilet.” – Cardi B via Brady ([08:19])

“I practically did a tummy tuck on my ass… when I pierce my ass, I ain’t feel nothing.” – Cardi B via Brady ([08:55])

Important Timestamps

• [01:19] – Machete ownership in Phoenix
• [03:03] – William Shatner’s health scare
• [04:13] – Leonardo DiCaprio's almost-name-change & name origins discussion
• [07:20] – Cardi B’s $13,000 diamond butt crack piercing
• [08:19] – How Cardi B realized she lost her piercing
• [08:55] – Cardi B quote on numbness
• [09:18] – Crew reacts to Cardi B’s photos
• [10:23] – Banter about KUPD event and “macho” attire

Tone & Style

The tone is loose, irreverent, and teasing, with the hosts pulling no punches and delighting in each other’s quirks and pop culture absurdities. This segment maintains its status as a blend of Arizona radio’s rowdiest morning entertainment and offbeat local color.