09-25-25 - Entertainment Drill - THU - w/Dale Hellestrae - How Cardi B Lost Her Butt Piercing

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Entertainment Drill – THU – w/Dale Hellestrae – "How Cardi B Lost Her Butt Piercing"
Podcast: Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona (98KUPD)
Air Date: September 25, 2025
Guest: Dale Hellestrae

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Episode Overview

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness, featuring John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo, and guest Dale Hellestrae, delivers an irreverent spin on celebrity news, personal anecdotes, and comedic banter. The focus is hilariously skewed toward Cardi B's lost butt crack piercing, but the crew also covers medical scares in the celebrity world, weird childhood name origins, and the practicalities (or not) of machete ownership and self-defense.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Phoenix and the Rise of Machete Attacks

• The team opens with a discussion about self-defense and the improbably regular occurrence of machete attacks in Phoenix.
• Surprise is expressed that machetes are readily available at Walmart and Home Depot ([01:22], [01:30]).
• John pitches the merits of self-defense training at React Defense, humorously likening preparation for machete attacks to having fire alarms in a home:

  “You don’t call it paranoid when you do that. That’s called preparation. It’s called being ready. Same thing with self-defense.” – John ([02:07])

2. William Shatner’s Health Scare

• Brady shares that William Shatner was hospitalized due to low blood sugar at age 94 but was quickly released ([03:03]).

• The group jokes about the undesirability of living to an advanced age, referencing a 105-year-old golfer:

  “That lady that was golfing at 105, yuck. Somebody knock her in the lake. It’s over.” – John ([03:38])

• Reflecting on mortality and aging, Holmberg and crew keep the tone light and self-deprecating.

3. The Oddity of Celebrities' and Hosts’ Names

• News breaks that Leonardo DiCaprio almost changed his name to “Lenny Williams” due to an agent’s advice. The backstory covers his middle name “Wilhelm,” and a discussion follows about the practice of parents naming kids after exes or acquaintances ([04:13]–[05:02]).
• Entertaining personal stories emerge:
  • John realizes his mom essentially named him after a high school boyfriend ([05:30]–[06:01]).
  • Dale shares his own naming logic, aiming to avoid names that rhyme with bad words for his daughters ([06:12]).
• The group teases Brady for never going by his first name, "David":

  “He asked no questions, so he has no answers.” – John ([05:13])

4. The Cardi B Diamond Butt Crack Piercing Saga

• The main event: the group unpacks how Cardi B lost her $13,000 diamond butt crack piercing, as revealed on the “Call Her Daddy” podcast.

  “She lost it… I realized during a poop. I was looking around, I was looking at my pants and my panties and stuff and I’m like, yep, went down the toilet.” – (Cardi B, paraphrased by Brady at [08:19])

• The crew discusses the ridiculousness of such an expensive piercing and Cardi B’s candidness:

  “What kind of pig talks about taking a dump? She’s a real… she’s a pig.” – John ([08:31])
  “She’s got some cash. She’s alright. That 13 grand in her ass was peanuts.” – John ([08:44])

• A particularly explicit Cardi B quote on not feeling the piercing due to numbness from body work:

  “I practically did a tummy tuck on my ass. So, like the top of my ass, that skin part is numb. So when I pierce my ass, I ain’t feel nothing.” – Brady reading Cardi B ([08:55])

• The guys react to photos of Cardi, with the usual mix of awe and ribald humor ([09:18]–[09:40]):

  “How are you ever gonna see the piercing?... Needed a 13,000 carat diamond.” – John ([09:22], [09:27])

5. Episode Wind-Down & Glib Banter

• John invites Dale to join another podcast, with the banter showing their easy camaraderie ([09:56]).
• Chat about a KUPD appearance and promotional event wraps the show, with a joke about dressing up as Macho Man Savage ([10:23]).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On machete defense:

“Machete attacks. It’s all you need to think about. It happens. It’s crazy.” – John ([02:07])

On getting older:

“94 sounds awful.” – John ([04:06])

Name revelations:

“My mom picked the name of someone cause she hated my dad at the time. Cuz he wanted to name me Alvar. And my mom’s like, no, John.” – John ([05:30])

On Cardi B’s lost piercing:

“I realized, I was like, hold up. I was looking around, I was looking at my pants and my panties and stuff and I’m like, yep, went down the toilet.” – Cardi B via Brady ([08:19])

“I practically did a tummy tuck on my ass… when I pierce my ass, I ain’t feel nothing.” – Cardi B via Brady ([08:55])

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Important Timestamps

• [01:19] – Machete ownership in Phoenix
• [03:03] – William Shatner’s health scare
• [04:13] – Leonardo DiCaprio's almost-name-change & name origins discussion
• [07:20] – Cardi B’s $13,000 diamond butt crack piercing
• [08:19] – How Cardi B realized she lost her piercing
• [08:55] – Cardi B quote on numbness
• [09:18] – Crew reacts to Cardi B’s photos
• [10:23] – Banter about KUPD event and “macho” attire

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Tone & Style

The tone is loose, irreverent, and teasing, with the hosts pulling no punches and delighting in each other’s quirks and pop culture absurdities. This segment maintains its status as a blend of Arizona radio’s rowdiest morning entertainment and offbeat local color.

Transcript

[A]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. And Doug Limu and I always tell you to customize your car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual. But now we want you to feel it. Cue the emu music. Limu, Save yourself money today. Increase your wealth. Customize and save. We save. That may have been too much feeling. Only pay for what you need@liberty mutual.com savings. Very underwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance Company affiliates. Excludes Massachusetts morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. It's time for the entertainment drill. It's brought to you by our [e-mail] the home of tactical black self defense training. And again, Brady Dale brought it up. The machete guys that Brett hangs out with on the west, they were at it again last night. Machete attacks Dale in Phoenix. It's common.

[B]

Yeah, it's weird.

[A]

We've trained against machete attacks. I thought for no reason whatsoever other than to just say we train against machete attacks at React Defense. And I've seen 20 stories in the last few years of machete attacks in Phoenix.

[C]

Now I'm going to carry a machete around.

[A]

You can, evidently. And I didn't know this, you can just buy them at Walmart in the camping department. They're not even in a case.

[C]

That's what I have in a. I.

[A]

Bought one at Home Depot. What for?

[C]

To chop down, like hedges and stuff.

[B]

What about campers?

[A]

What do you need a machete for? You're not doing any gardening.

[C]

Some of the trees you're not.

[A]

You call the HOA master pruning. Yeah.

[B]

I got your prune.

[A]

The only thing that you prune is your fingers. In the pool, jackass.

[B]

In the bathtub.

[A]

In the tub. I can't get up. I can't get up. I'm pruning.

[B]

I need to take my rubber duck.

[A]

Pruning with a machete? That thing's pristine.

[C]

It is.

[A]

Yeah, I know. Because it doesn't get used anyway. Machete attacks, they're out there. And you'd think that you wouldn't have to think about it again. You have fire alarms in your house. You probably have a, you know, some sort of a deterrent for thieves on your house. And you don't call it paranoid when you do that. That's called preparation. It's called being ready. Same thing with self defense. You get on this thing. React defense, they'll teach you how to do that. Don't be a victim. Start becoming a sheepdog and stop being a sheep. Machete attacks. It's all you need to think about. It happens. It's crazy. He had one on a kid. Guy was going to hit a kid with a machete and the cop shot him. Yeah. It's insane. They're available, so defend yourself from all the lunacy that is around us. And it's around us. Like Dale said, they took down the barbed wire and they let him out. Where are they?

[B]

Nobody knows.

[A]

No one knows. Except for they're out there somewhere, and they might be in front of you one day. Make sure you're ready. Reactdefense.com. it's the home and tactical Black Brady Entertainment.

[C]

We had a medical scare for William Shatner.

[A]

I saw that. Scary.

[C]

Went into the hospital, but it ended up being low blood sugar, so they released him right away. Didn't have to stay overnight.

[A]

Yeah, he's 94. 94.

[C]

94.

[A]

You don't want to start screwing around with, like, blood sugar irregularities when you're 94, because that means your body stopped doing stuff. You don't like that.

[B]

Do you want to be around at night?

[A]

No, I don't want to be around now. I've had enough now. I'm looking at you right now. That's about enough.

[B]

Well, that's. That's 10 more years on you.

[A]

No, I. I said it the other day. That lady that was golfing at 105, yuck. Somebody knock her in the lake. It's over.

[B]

When I went through all the hard stuff, I think I told you may we were golfing and gave my final checkup with the cardiologist, that you're heart's great. You're in good shape. So it's not gonna be your heart that gets you. You got 25 more years. My wife Brooke looks at me and goes, Only 25. I said, I'm gonna be 88 years old.

[A]

Your heart, your knees and your hips and your ankles. I've seen you walk.

[B]

Your heart.

[A]

Your heart's doing you a disservice letting this continue. Yeah, I agree. 94 sounds awful.

[C]

Leonardo DiCaprio almost went by the name Lenny Williams, but his father stepped in and stopped it from happening. His manager at the time.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Said, I don't think you should.

[A]

I'll tell you this.

[C]

That name, because it's too.

[A]

It's common, too ethnic. Lenny Williams is too.

[C]

Leonardo DiCaprio.

[A]

Oh, he didn't want him to.

[C]

His agent was saying, we Gotta change your name. Yeah, he came up with Lenny Williams because his. His middle name is Widdlehelm.

[B]

You say Wilhelm or Widdlehelm?

[C]

Wilhelm.

[B]

Wilhelm.

[C]

Yeah. Because his mom's German. Dad was Italian. But then they said, you know, history.

[A]

Tells you one thing. When the Germans and Italians to get together, that good things happen. Brady, what's your with DiCaprio? That's true.

[C]

That's David Brady.

[B]

Why don't you go by David?

[C]

That's never went by David. I don't know why?

[A]

Because they're goofy. His parents named him David Brady and then called him from.

[C]

From the get go.

[A]

Nobody gets it. He. He asked no questions, so he has no answers.

[C]

Crush of my mom's. David.

[A]

So she wanted to put that. Yeah, so she wanted.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Let me. Okay, so she wanted to put that on an infant.

[B]

What's your middle name?

[A]

That's disgusting.

[C]

Well, then your mom.

[A]

Yeah, my mom picked the name of someone cuz she hated my dad at the time. Cuz he wanted to name me Alvar. And my mom's like, no, John. She picked a basic one. The first name that came to mind was a guy in her high school. Is that true that she was dating? Yeah, so. But I don't know that that was who she thought of. But then when we saw a bunch of stuff from my mom's high school, we went through my grandma's house and one of the bags she had made was a homemade bag, had Marcy loves John and John all over it. And she's like, oh, that was a boyfriend in high school. And I'm like, am I named after this guy? She goes, no, but it was a name that, you know, popped up. They're like, oh my God.

[C]

I just like the name my mom.

[A]

Named me after the dude that nailed her and popped her cherry or something. W that run through your mind, Dale?

[B]

I know when we named our daughters, I want to. Number one. I don't want anything to rhyme with it. The kids can make fun of them, right? Hillary and Kendall, I dare you to come up with something that can rhyme with it. That's derogatory.

[A]

Give me. Give me a minute.

[B]

Yeah, but what's your so what? So what? Your first name is John, Middle name Daniel.

[A]

Curtis. Because I'm named after my dad. Yeah, might same with me.

[B]

And your first name is? Bert. Brett. Brett. Why do you call him Bert?

[A]

Because it's just. You switch the spelling a little. How long have you been here?

[B]

Shorter. It's the same words. What are you doing?

[A]

Just switch a Couple letters is Burt. I switch them sometimes. Come on, Dell, it's easier to just. People think it's, you know, Brad or Brent. It's easier. Bert's easier. Nobody confuses Bert. What's yours?

[B]

Dale Robert. Okay, Dale Robert. Named after my uncle.

[A]

Dale Robert.

[C]

Dale's got a big story.

[A]

Knock it out.

[B]

Hurry up again.

[A]

We got a podcast. We got a podcast to do. I got a lot on my mind, so I.

[B]

What I'm doing now with Brady's story is I try not to look at him so I can just pull them up. Great.

[A]

This will go well.

[B]

Surprise.

[A]

Perfect.

[C]

They always do.

[B]

Lack of preparation to kind of do like Brady does.

[A]

That's true.

[B]

How did Cardi B, one of your favorites, lose her butt crack ring? Johnny?

[A]

How did she. How did she lose her butt crack ring? First off, didn't know she had it.

[B]

Butt crack piercing?

[A]

I'm sorry. Yeah. I didn't know how she lost it because I didn't know it was in there.

[B]

Are you sure you didn't know?

[A]

I didn't know she had a butt piercing. You know all I do know most things, but especially in the world.

[C]

Of course, you didn't catch that one.

[A]

Yeah, I didn't. This one's. This one you guys have put one over.

[B]

Listen to.

[C]

That's Dale's inside.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Idiotic story.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

All right. Back in January, Cardi B. Revealed that she got a thirteen thousand dollar diamond butt crack piercing. Okay, what butt cracks were 13,000?

[A]

1 with $13,000 diamond in it.

[B]

She even posted a picture of it on whatever. On whatever. Social media. Unfortunately, she lost it a month later. On the Call Her Daddy podcast, she quote, I realized during a poop.

[A]

Wasn't it?

[B]

I realized, I was like, hold up. I was looking around, I was looking at my pants and my panties and stuff and I'm like, yep, went down the toilet. How big of a poop is that?

[A]

Have you seen her butt? What kind of pig talks about taking a dump? She's a real. She's a pig. She's a piece.

[B]

Come on. You lose a thirteen thousand dollar ring.

[A]

She'S doing all right. That's nothing. That's like. That's like.

[B]

That's like you buying a buck.

[A]

That's like me losing like a $10,000. No, she's. She's got some cash. She's all right. That 13 grand in her ass was peanuts.

[B]

I practically did a tummy tuck on my ass. So, like the top of my ass, that skin part is numb. So when I pierce my ass, I ain't feel nothing. It was the easiest piercing ever.

[A]

Good quote, Dale. Johnny, you read that like she was here.

[B]

Johnny, I think you need to get one.

[A]

I would do that. Sounds like a diamond. Look at her ass.

[B]

Here's her ass, Dale.

[A]

It's.

[B]

Oh, geez. How are you ever gonna see the piercing?

[A]

Yeah, that's the thing. It's needed more of in the 13. Needed a 13,000 carat diamond.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

It's large.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Wow. Yeah. Okay, she's set up back there.

[B]

That's enough.

[A]

Look at that one.

[C]

It's nice.

[A]

Brady likes that. Brady likes a big, thick.

[C]

Oh, man.

[A]

Freddie likes the thick ass. I like a fat rump roast. I like to rub it down, smack it. Oh, no. Yeah, that's it. All right, Dale, that's it. We got to go do a podcast or. You got to do my podcast, I should say.

[B]

Are you inviting me on?

[A]

If you'd like to be on my podcast this week, I'll do another one here. Started about 11. We'll get that going. That's it for us. We're done. You're going to EOS tonight? Yeah. Which one? Via Delinda Scottsdale. Yeah. On via. On Hayden? I believe so. Yeah, that's right.

[B]

So it's via Linda. There's no date.

[A]

It's via Linda. Yeah, I was gonna say via Dave. I thought it was Via different. Let me look.

[B]

And a muscle shirt.

[A]

Violinda and Frank Lloyd Wright. Oh, okay. You're up there. Okay. There you go. Five to seven will be up there giving away a whole bunch of KUPD stuff and. And memberships.

[B]

I think you should take your picture. Tights, muscle shirt.

[A]

Yeah, I'm gonna do that filter. Dress like Match Macho Man Savage. Brett will be out in the parking lot watching you work out. Yeah, that's how that'll work. I'll get you all hooked up. That's it. We're done. You guys have yourselves a glorious Thursday. We'll see you tomorrow on the morning sickness. Hola. It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually.

[C]

No members.

[A]

Heard enough of this.