← Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
09-25-25 - FULL SHOW - THURSDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD
03:14:19
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- [00:00]
Brett
You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by mmpguns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.
- [00:11]
John Holmberg
And Doug, here we have the Limu Emu in its natural habitat, helping people customize their car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual. Fascinating. It's accompanied by his natural ally, Doug.
- [00:26]
Eric D'Alessandro
Uh, Limu is that guy with the binoculars watching us.
- [00:29]
John Holmberg
Cut the camera. They see us.
- [00:30]
Eric D'Alessandro
Only pay for what you need@libertymutual.com Liberty Liberty, Liberty.
- [00:35]
John Holmberg
Liberty Savings.
- [00:36]
Eric D'Alessandro
Very underwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance Company and affiliates.
- [00:38]
John Holmberg
Excludes Massachusetts Holmberg's morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Good morning everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Thursday. This it's the morning sickness. My name's John. There's Brady, there's Brett, There's Toledo. It's 5:45. Let's get it going. Let's move this thing right along. What a great night last night at the old ballpark. A great day for Dodger baseball. As it turned out, it was a fantastic day for Dodger baseball. Cuz the Diamondbacks absolutely the bed in the extra innings. Again, I gotta say sorry to Diamondback fans. Last two games I've been to extra innings. Both fantastic baseball. Diamondbacks leave the bases loaded in the extra innings, get nothing out of it both times. Walk away, losers. What a game though. It was absolutely spectacular. And as a person who loves baseball, it's rare to go to one and find out, oh, this is why you like the game. It was awesome. Corbin Carroll made a throw, got a guy at the plate. Nothing more exciting than taking in that dude that was running this, the South Korean kid that the Dodgers have. That's just absolute lightning. So it was super bang bang, great play. But Dodgers end up winning it. Diamondbacks had a chance to jump into that six spot in the wild card. It's tight. I was with a friend of mine. Now, many of you remember us talking about a woman we call Sisquatch on the heat stroke open.
- [02:13]
Brady
The lovely Sisquatch.
- [02:14]
John Holmberg
Yeah, well, that's what you say. She gets a little, you know, she started off the night a little drunk. I was teasing her pretty good about like the staggering situation. I know. Bone act surprised Brett. We both did.
- [02:24]
Brett
Shocking.
- [02:25]
John Holmberg
So I was teasing her pretty good. And her friend Tom, we'll say, was with her as well. And that's Thomas, the one I got tickets from. So she's there, I'm there, my friend Brian's with me and I'm sitting next to Brian Sisquatch and then Tom. Boom, boom. And these are good seats. A lot of you saw me on the game last night and where my phone was blown up like I didn't know I was there. Dude, you're at the game. I'm like, yeah, I, I would be the one who knew that more than you, I think. But thanks for the updates on where I am and just in case I've got dementia or something, you put out a silver alert for me and you found me every time. It was hilarious. So my phone just buzzing, buzzing, buzzing. People are taking pictures of but I'm right there. These were great seats. So game gets going and I'm in. I'm invested. This is fun. This was great baseball. Good pitching, good hitting, execution was good. Coaches were doing what they do. A couple little things. The umpire behind home plate, questionable at best with a lot of his calls which makes me think we're going to start seeing that throughout the playoffs. And the umpires are going to intentionally screw up so baseball can bring on the robots, which I think is the goal because then think about this. Gambling changes completely with robot umps. And also they can put a new scoreboard up of just the balls and strikes and have that sponsored by something. And so it's a revenue stream to have the robots. I'm surprised the current umpires aren't sponsored by someone. There's sponsorship everywhere. So this, everybody was bitching about the ump last night. I'm like, get used to it because for the next year it's going to be oh, we're just human. We make these mistakes and it's screwing up the gambling and we just don't watch the salute robots. That's what they're going to do. And they're going to do computers that call other. That's happening. So it's going to be great. So I'm sitting there, I'm loving every single the game Brian and I are talking about. And Tom's son was at the game too. So Tom text his son after the two people sitting next to Tom left in like the ninth inning. They didn't want to stay past 9:30 or whatever so they got up and they left. So there were two empty seats. So he texts his son and his friend. And his son is, you know, well, well mannered young man, he's in his 20s, he's a nice kid. He's, you know, he's going to, he came down with his friend, they were quiet, they did their thing, sit on the seats. Next thing you know somebody Comes down and says, you two have to go. Now, I've been watching several people just come and sit in seats from other areas because for some reason, people leave a tie game, well, it's a different topic. The Diamondback. Diamondback fans, I got to say, you suck. Two strikes. You're supposed to cheer in a tie game. 8th, 9th, 10th, 11th innings, when the pitcher has two strikes on the Dodger hitter, you're supposed to get up and cheer. That's why that big screen says get loud, because that's what everybody else does throughout. And you've got to be invested in the game. They don't make a peep. Anyway, so all these people are going. They leave early to what is a fantastic sporting event. And so all these seats open up right behind the plate. We're on the. We're in the third row behind home plate. So sitting there and stuff. So a bunch of people moving to Tom's son and his friends sit down. A few minutes later, lady comes down, points him out and says, you guys gotta go. One of those old, you know, ushers.
- [05:35]
Brady
The ushers, yeah.
- [05:36]
John Holmberg
They're like, oh, okay. And Tom says, why? He's like, there's nobody here. These people left. That's my kid. He's not missing. She goes, this lady here said you guys kind of stole the seats and go. So I didn't hear any of this, but Tom looks at like, what'd you do that for, you dumb C word? And. And I didn't. I kind of heard C words floating a little. Well, the kids get up, mind their own, go back to the seats, which weren't bad anyway. They just wanted to go, come down, hang out with their dad. So no big deal, no harm. And I'm still in the game. I'm hearing the C word a few more times, but it's not super loud. Just enough. It's a con. It's conversational C word. Next thing you know, this woman comes over, and she goes, what the did I do to you? And. And I'm like, wha. And she's leaning over Tom, and they're going. And he goes, you were a C word. She goes, you say it again, I'm gonna get you kicked out for being an asshole. And the guy behind the mean lady says to Tom, why don't you stop being a jerk and just let her be? And he goes, cause she's a C word. And I'm like, oh, my God, this won't end. So he went off on this lady. They're going back and forth I'm like, this is better than the game. This is outstanding stuff. So Tom almost fights this woman who had a sign, kept putting up her sign. She had a homemade sign, and it was. She had drawn Catal Marte as Elmer Fudd. And it says she'd be very, very quiet. We're hunting RBIs. Ribbies. Like, not rabbits, but ribbies, which is not a timely joke in any fashion. Exactly. But they put it on the big screen, like, three times. And she was super proud of her. She was super proud of herself that all that work with, you know, magic markers and her poster board.
- [07:22]
Brady
Worth it.
- [07:22]
John Holmberg
Oh, totally worth never having had a job and living off her husband's money. That's my. Because who else has time to do that on a Wednesday is to make Elmer Fudd drawings at home. You haven't worked a day in your life. Tom's right. You C word. Anyway, when you sit that low, you.
- [07:39]
Brett
Don'T have a poster board with Sharpies.
- [07:42]
John Holmberg
Thank you.
- [07:43]
Brett
Come on. Those are good seats.
- [07:44]
John Holmberg
That's bleacher stuff.
- [07:46]
Brett
Up, boys.
- [07:46]
John Holmberg
Come on. Have some class. Red for president right here. Yeah, but she's a wealthy. She wasn't. Like, this dude with the money could have done a lot better for himself. She gets on Tom. They start yelling at each other. The whole thing starts to kind of boil over. Tom's fuming his wife Sisquatch, and her giant. You see her on tv. She's the one with the carpet roll for hair. Like, she's got gigantic hair. It is. It's so heavy.
- [08:13]
Brady
Impressive.
- [08:13]
John Holmberg
Insane. Yeah, it's insane. So Brian and I are laughing like, this is outstanding. But it just. It stirred up the whole night, and I'm like, this might be the best baseball game I've ever been to my own.
- [08:24]
Brady
And he was obviously able to stay in the seats. They didn't come down.
- [08:28]
John Holmberg
No.
- [08:28]
Brady
Anybod.
- [08:29]
John Holmberg
Well, no. I mean, the lady could have done another one, but, yeah, mind your own business. You know, two people come and sit in two seats that aren't. They were not disruptive. They didn't do anything. They weren't bad. And the two people that were there had left already. She went and tattled. Now, I'm all for, like, stealing seats being something that. But it's the venue's job to see that you don't tattle. I remember at Suns games, I used to watch that when kids would come down and sit in the seats in front of us, and, like, you'd see it, and I'd look back at the lady in the thing. And I'd shrug my shoulders and she's like, okay, she saw it too. But it was like, time to. And I started laughing because she'd have to come down and go, all right, let's go. And they'd wrangle him up. For some reason, I was in a stolen seat, a rich environment of stolen seats. And I found it hysterical to watch them go, oh, because these idiots thought they were getting away with it. They'd show up in like the second quarter. They'd sit up high, look down and see seats that hadn't been used yet. Poach em and then try to poach em, right? And then they'd come. You know, most of the time they were just idiots. I didn't tell on em. But I'd look back, I'm like, did you see it? Cause I loved it in the Sun's games. But I never went up and said, like, this lady, these kids just came down here and sat and tattled and everything else ridiculous. And then she threatened to throw someone else up. Mind your own business. You made your little sign. Live in your own little world and just be one of those kids. Weren't doing anything to you. And if you're gonna do that, tell on everybody. But she's evidently the mayor of those three rows and decided that she was. Because she made her sign and she was on the. She was on the big screen two or three times. So I think she thinks she works for the Diamondbacks or had a hand in it. But I agree with Tom. What a C word? Eight. I think the count was eight C bombs. Eight. Now that's strong. I like that word a lot. And I think you, you know, he went nuclear option early with the C word. To throw eight of them is just.
- [10:29]
Brady
You know, maybe that's how upset he was at the sign because he's a Dodgers fan.
- [10:34]
John Holmberg
But he's. Yeah, but he wasn't upset at that. Tom doesn't. He was. He was. He was mad at the C word. He was mad at her.
- [10:39]
Brett
Tom's a mild mannered dude.
- [10:41]
John Holmberg
I mean, I mild blows me away.
- [10:44]
Brett
That he's throwing the sea bombs like that.
- [10:46]
John Holmberg
Incredibly mild mannered. Like sometimes I just grab Tom's arm, he goes, what are you doing? I'm like, pulse. Checking for your pulse. I'm not sure you're still here. Mild mannered is not like that. That's an understatement. I mean, the people from the movie Awakenings had more energy sometimes than Tom. Nathan Sutherland would date Tom Sizer. That's what I'm saying right now. Nathan would look at Tom and go, that's my speed right there. Tom is a very even keeled fella, but boy, did he go after it. And I think it's because the effing c made fun of his wife's hair at one point and said something about her being like something. And then. So it was defense. It was awesome. It was awesome. And it took away from another thing I'd noticed last night. Somebody had dirty flip flop feet.
- [11:36]
Brett
Oh, circle k feet.
- [11:37]
John Holmberg
Circle K feet. But it wasn't visual. It was the smell. And it was permeating around the area. And I spent the entire first five innings trying to figure out who it was and then wondering, is it me? Do I stink? And I couldn't stop smelling. All the person had to do was wiggle their toes. I didn't see flip flops. But somebody smelled like footman. Dirty feet. And it was strong, dirty feet. There's. You have to be a better friend. Somebody's got to be a better friend than say, it's you. You stink. Because I kept telling Brian, I'm like, I don't know who this is. Is it me? There can't be. I'm wearing new shoes. I have deodorant on. I smell my shirt over and over. It's not it. It's that. It's that damn thing where somebody, you know, the mil do laundry and they don't know. But how do you not know how your friends have to tell you, dude, you smell terrible. And we're in public. You've got to do something about that. A good friend will tell you that. And I was trying to find a person. I'm not even a good friend of whoever it was. But if I'd have identified who stunk so bad that I could smell them every time they even, like, gently drifted. I was. I was bending over constantly, like, wafting air from between my legs, like, is it me? And I was so paranoid. And then I was sitting there thinking, do people think it's me? I wasted so much of my night. Scared people I hate around? No. I could. Well, yes, there was a couple, but it's the second row of the baseball game. Most everybody's done good laundry down there. Second row, there was a guy who moved around. Every time he moved, it tended to be the stink, but they left and the smell didn't. So it was something. Then I thought, maybe it's somebody behind me. And then it went right back, maybe it's me. And then I'm Like, I've got brand new shoes on. So I'm wondering, did the. Did they show up stinky? So I would cross my legs, bend down a little bit, try to do like a.
- [13:31]
Brett
That kind of walk.
- [13:32]
John Holmberg
Yeah, kind of like I move my hand really fast and my nose picks it up and I'm like, it's not me. I would have noticed this in the car. You know, I would have. I would have smelled myself driving down here.
- [13:43]
Brady
That would have been a great viral.
- [13:44]
John Holmberg
Video of me smelling my balls.
- [13:46]
Brady
And the. The camera comes down there and it's you doing the smell of the fingers. Oh, you know, like those ones where they capture.
- [13:51]
John Holmberg
I did that.
- [13:52]
Brady
Yeah.
- [13:52]
John Holmberg
I reached down once and just casually rubbed between my. My legs and kind of hit a hard. And you know, you're. It's hot. It was 100 degrees. So I kind of rubbed my hands down in the crotch area and then brought my hand up and I'm like, don't touch. Like a doctor. I just kind of let it linger and then acted like I was wiping my nose. My balls. I'm in the same clothes I was in last night, right now. I put them back on.
- [14:16]
Brady
I do smell.
- [14:17]
John Holmberg
No, you don't. I smell. I took them off last night and just smelled every inch. And I'm like, I know. It's just nothing crazy. And I've got that. Like Kelly says, you got that giant Juno's. Of course. Of course it could have been a section over, but somebody, when you've got a stinky friend, say it. Tell them, don't go in public with them. Don't do it. You're making everybody's night weird.
- [14:40]
Brady
Come out in the flip flops and spill a little beer on there.
- [14:45]
John Holmberg
Oh, it just. Well, it wasn't.
- [14:47]
Brady
The drippings get on the floor.
- [14:49]
John Holmberg
It wasn't stale. It was pre dirty. It was. Yeah. You know when people don't wear socks and then like their shoes come off, you're like, whoa, it ruins. That was in a stadium. How bad do you have to stink that? I can't pinpoint which one you are, but you're stinking up a stadium. That's hard. We're not in a car. Somebody in the car had to smell him. He had to ride here with someone. Even a Waymo would pull over and ask him to get out. Like, please remove yourself from the Waymo. You're destroying it for the next passenger. Horrible. So Today's the day, September 25th, that I'd like to announce. You're not a friend unless you tell Them. You stink day. You have to do it. We have to do it. Wash your goddamn feet and your whole body. Because it was more than that. It just smelled like dirty feet. Like beach sand in a hotel room after you're at the beach all day and you get that salt water, you don't rinse off, and then your clothes stink like beach. It's gross. It didn't smell like the beach. It smelled like dirty beach.
- [16:00]
Brett
Crandall just wrote, and he goes, you know, that dumb broad is calling into Beth and friends right now complaining about the guy at the ball game.
- [16:08]
Guest Female
We paid a lot of money. And then he had the nerve to use vulgar language that I have. Like a trucker.
- [16:14]
John Holmberg
And there's Tom in his, you know, his collared shirt, looking exactly like a guy who should be sitting three rows behind home plate, just drum. Cause you're a C word.
- [16:25]
Guest Female
Oh, my God, I'll have you kicked out for being an asshole.
- [16:28]
John Holmberg
And then that was the best moment. Tom nailed her.
- [16:29]
Guest Female
She goes, I'll have you kicked out for being an asshole.
- [16:31]
John Holmberg
He goes, hey, language. And I just started dying. He'd hit her with the bomb a bunch. Great night, smelly person. You wrecked it. And you made me wonder the whole time. In fact, I am in these same clothes to see if they fermented. And then I'd put them on in the car. And I'm like, it was me. I would tell that story. I would be happy to do it. You've gotta know when you stink. You have to. How do smelly people not know how to smelly people? Friends not know. It's them all the time. You're ruining.
- [17:02]
Brady
All I have is my shirt and my gym bag. That's been there for a couple of days.
- [17:06]
John Holmberg
I don't. You know what the worst part of that is? And I actually brought this up last night. I was like, it wouldn't be so bad if it was, like, hard work smell. It was dirty ass, dirty feet smell. It was just somebody who just didn't. Their laundry had been sitting in the washer for hours, and then they just stuffed it in the dryer. Now they've got mildew. Dirty ass, dirty feet, dirty laundry. They're just gross. And they're, you know, somebody's gotta say something, and that's. It's just gross. That's it. Alex says people need to understand, if the smell travels with you, it's you. One time in high school, I noticed a weird smell. Waved it off, went to one class, and I smelled it again. My Jesus. Everybody stinks dismissed. It went to PE and after that next class, I smelled it again. My friend, who I trust with everything to this day, said, dude, your feet smell horrible. It's you. It was your shoes. Cat got into the garbage and pissed all over my shoes. That's the day I realized if the smell travels with you, but that's being self aware. This person had to smell it. But. Or they're so used to stinking it doesn't register.
- [18:13]
Brady
In college, Brennaman went through a phase where his feet were smelling, had to put it. He kept his shoes in a drawer.
- [18:19]
John Holmberg
And closed them up because his feet stunk so bad.
- [18:21]
Brady
Yeah. Keep it permeating in the room.
- [18:24]
John Holmberg
But he'd go put them back on there. Yeah, he.
- [18:26]
Brady
He would put him back on. He'd open the drawer, get the shoes. But the guys knew that in the fraternity house.
- [18:33]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [18:34]
Brady
And they used to take the all the shoes out and put them in his bed.
- [18:37]
John Holmberg
Oh God.
- [18:39]
Brady
So he'd go there and then he finally said enough.
- [18:41]
John Holmberg
And then he finally one of you mother put this in the great Tom Brennaman's bed. Now I've got a problem with my feet, I admit that. But boy, oh boy, he got it fixed. Which one of you of city.
- [18:56]
Brady
Oh yeah.
- [18:56]
John Holmberg
Now I'm sure he threw that some terrible language around when he gets worked up.
- [19:00]
Brady
It's hilarious.
- [19:01]
John Holmberg
Oh yeah. Get them all kicked off of the air and stuff. Why would he keep shoes that stunk?
- [19:08]
Brady
It was.
- [19:08]
John Holmberg
I know. Well, why do people do these things? I don't get it.
- [19:12]
Brady
It wasn't like their shoes that you could throw away.
- [19:15]
John Holmberg
Yes, they are. If they can't be indoors, people, they're trash.
- [19:19]
Brady
I think he felt it's not the shoes fault, it's my feet. So he got medication.
- [19:24]
John Holmberg
Okay, great. But the shoes you've already wrecked that people have to put in boxes to keep from wrecking a room are ruined. They're not coming back. Those aren't shoes you can't throw away. Unless it's like, these are my great great grandfather shoes. He wore them in the revolutionary war. Okay. Then those needed to be in a museum and not on Tom's dirty ass feet. Tell a friend they smell today and do it and just say, look, I'm a friend or I wouldn't be doing this to you. People talk about it. You stink. You don't smell good. In fact, maybe we should do that today and do a little intervention. You guys tell us who and you know, the only problem with that is I think it would be dudes joking with other guys. I radio station called Kevin and said he stunk. I want real, like people who are like, yeah, I realize it. Like, I want those moments where they're like, I know I don't know how to do laundry.
- [20:14]
Brady
And they've told the person themselves.
- [20:17]
John Holmberg
You've got to tell people. Nobody ever says anything. You stink. Nobody ever tells people that.
- [20:22]
Brett
I would appreciate it.
- [20:23]
John Holmberg
I would, I would if some, if you guys told me right. Hey, John, not for nothing, but your laundry stinks. I am so self aware of smells like I, I. There's nothing worse than being the stinky guy, the stinky friend.
- [20:34]
Brady
Pull him aside.
- [20:36]
John Holmberg
You know, just tell them.
- [20:37]
Brady
I know, but I, you know, don't. I think it's, you know, you tell them in front of a bunch of people.
- [20:43]
John Holmberg
Yeah, I mean, have some class and not necessarily get a group together in a microphone and start going, hey, here's what we're gonna do today.
- [20:48]
Brady
Hey, smelly feet.
- [20:50]
John Holmberg
Yeah, Gary smells. We all know it. He just. It's just stink. People stink and you ruin it. And all I did was spend the whole night trying to smell my own balls at a ballpark.
- [21:00]
Brady
I had to do it. One time I was asked to talk to one of the people. This is a Milwaukee man. One of the promo people smelled like Marborough's Copenhagen cologne and had too much.
- [21:14]
John Holmberg
Yeah. Oh, God.
- [21:17]
Brady
You're coming to the event. And that Copenhagen is not overtaking the.
- [21:21]
John Holmberg
Other stink you smell. Yeah, you have a odor. I don't mind if you smell like the thing you do, but body odor and unclean just cut through everything. If you smoke, you smell like smoke.
- [21:33]
Brady
That'S arriving to work.
- [21:35]
John Holmberg
Yeah. I don't like people that smell like smoke. But if you smell like smoke and you smoke, that's just part of it. Holmberg's morning sickness, Copenhagen, whatever. That's just personal preference. Some people think it smells good.
- [21:54]
Brady
Well, nobody thinks you. It's that Royal Copenhagen cologne.
- [21:59]
John Holmberg
Oh, my God.
- [22:00]
Brady
With this, with the munge comboed up.
- [22:05]
John Holmberg
Who wears Royal Copenhagen Cologne? Wow, 1991. Did you do the thing where you were like that?
- [22:13]
Guest Female
Lamont, I need to talk to you for a second.
- [22:16]
John Holmberg
Was that the case?
- [22:17]
Brady
No, it was a country station.
- [22:19]
John Holmberg
Oh, dirty old country guy.
- [22:22]
Brady
Hillbilly.
- [22:23]
John Holmberg
He was gross. Hillbilly. Yeesh.
- [22:29]
Guest Female
You smell funny.
- [22:30]
John Holmberg
Are you talking about now? Brady, Come on, let's bring it on down here.
- [22:34]
Brady
Rodney, I need to talk to you.
- [22:35]
Guest Female
I don't like the way you smell.
- [22:37]
Brett
His name was Rodney too.
- [22:38]
Guest Female
I'm not the only one. There's Been a chunk of chicken wing in your big red mustache for a week. It's driving me crazy. Not only can I smell it, I want it.
- [22:48]
Brady
Smell Chet. Ask him what he uses.
- [22:51]
John Holmberg
Well, which would you like me to stop doing here, Brady? The raw Copenhagen, which I believe covers up a lot of the smoke smell, which also covers up the massive alcohol problem, which also covers up the fact I ain't done laundry in almost a year. Yes, that. All right, I'll just stop. Did he. Did it work?
- [23:07]
Brady
Oh, yeah.
- [23:08]
John Holmberg
He came back in better. But did he hate you?
- [23:11]
Brady
The toughest thing was, man, if he had a couple of top row teeth.
- [23:16]
John Holmberg
Oh, for Christ's sake. Well, this is a hiring. This is a hiring.
- [23:19]
Brady
I did.
- [23:21]
John Holmberg
You should have just fired. Fire.
- [23:22]
Brady
I'm like, well, he did. He didn't last long.
- [23:25]
John Holmberg
But you didn't fire him.
- [23:26]
Brady
No, that's a program director.
- [23:28]
John Holmberg
Oh, it wasn't in your department?
- [23:30]
Brady
No. Well, he's a promotions assistant.
- [23:33]
John Holmberg
And weren't you in charge of promotions in Milwaukee?
- [23:36]
Brady
Yeah, but I inherited this.
- [23:37]
John Holmberg
Yeah, but you could have fired. I got.
- [23:40]
Brady
I mean, I said, might be time for Rodney to you, dude.
- [23:43]
John Holmberg
You coward. You didn't fire your stinky.
- [23:45]
Brady
No, I didn't fire him. I said, I went to the program director. I'm like, I think that's all right.
- [23:51]
John Holmberg
Then do it. Would you have fired him? Never fire anybody. I just know how to fire.
- [23:56]
Brady
I wouldn't put him on the schedule.
- [23:58]
John Holmberg
You would have done that? The coward's way out.
- [24:02]
Brady
Yeah, because he.
- [24:03]
John Holmberg
You wouldn't have just sat him down and said, we're just gonna make a move here. You're out.
- [24:06]
Brady
Well, he was making strides in the right direction.
- [24:10]
John Holmberg
Explain that.
- [24:11]
Brady
Hard work.
- [24:12]
John Holmberg
He was the smelly guy. When we said needed to be fired. Hold on.
- [24:15]
Brady
He corrected.
- [24:15]
Brett
He took a goddamn shower.
- [24:17]
John Holmberg
Big deal. You said you had to go to the program director to get him fired, and now you're saying he's taking strides in the right direction. When, and this is 35 years ago, when I'm just putting the heat on you to fire the guy imaginary. And you started to say, he's doing a good job.
- [24:30]
Guest Female
He's taking strides in the right direction.
- [24:31]
John Holmberg
Brady, you should have fired him yourself. That would have been good. You need to fire someone. Haven't lived till you've canned somebody. Really. It really is like, man, it's a life. It makes, you know. You know, it makes you understand that it's just business thing. It's not fun for, you know, like, the thing. But you haven't, like, Experienced life till you've got. I gotta let you go. It's the worst awesome feeling ever. Because you realize at that moment you're letting go of something that just isn't working. We knew this dude in high school. Smell like VO all the goddamn time. It was so bad. He wore tank tops routinely. And I don't want to name names, but he has the same name as the president in the 80s. His name was Reagan. I'm guessing that one, I think. I'm thinking his name was Bush. Cameron Flansburg wrote that. So if you were friends with Cameron and you were named after a president in the 80s. You stink. Yeah. Thank you, people. Yeah. You smell like dude juice.
- [25:33]
Guest Female
I gotta have you come in there, Rodney and I gotta talk to you about some stuff.
- [25:37]
John Holmberg
What is it, Brady? Am I not getting the job done?
- [25:40]
Guest Female
Oh, no, no, no. It's not that.
- [25:42]
John Holmberg
Is it my odor?
- [25:44]
Guest Female
Oh, no. We've. You're taking strides in the right drive. I just wanted to give you a raise. Go ahead. You're. You're gonna make another two bucks an hour. Thanks for popping in here, Rodney.
- [25:52]
John Holmberg
We have a dental plan. Brady, just give me a raise instead of firing people. Brady would supposed to talk to him, but I think we should make you do the next firing in this building.
- [26:06]
Brady
All right.
- [26:06]
John Holmberg
You think you could do it?
- [26:08]
Brady
Sure.
- [26:08]
John Holmberg
No. No, none of us do. You would start crying.
- [26:13]
Brady
Well, that would help.
- [26:15]
John Holmberg
Who? I hate to do this. Do you think you could fire anybody here?
- [26:20]
Brady
If I had to.
- [26:21]
John Holmberg
No. If we just said he's the guy.
- [26:23]
Brady
Go fire this guy.
- [26:24]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [26:26]
Brady
Yeah, I think I could.
- [26:27]
John Holmberg
Could you? Yeah. What do you think? No, he couldn't do it.
- [26:30]
Brett
No, none of us.
- [26:31]
John Holmberg
Too nice. Yeah, you would be. You'd be. You would be broken. Look, I can't imagine what it would do to you afterwards. Especially if I go. I just had a baby.
- [26:42]
Brady
It would be tough. It would be tough to fire if you felt like he doesn't need to be fired. But if the guy's not doing the.
- [26:49]
John Holmberg
Job or the come on, woman doesn't.
- [26:52]
Brady
Whatever.
- [26:56]
John Holmberg
I mean, it's harder to believe the guy's not doing the job of.
- [26:59]
Guest Female
Or the woman. That's probably a lot easier to fire.
- [27:02]
Brett
Like the way he sneaks out.
- [27:03]
John Holmberg
I would love to see Brady lose it. Cause like, you'd say that like if. You'd have to just have to. What are you doing? I just had a child. I have a child and a wife. What am I supposed to do? They're fired too. You're all fired. Never come back Brady would be like, I'll just. Here's my generator.
- [27:18]
Guest Female
You can have it for when they.
- [27:19]
John Holmberg
Turn the power off. You son of a bitch. My wife, she's got some sort of disease. Oh, God, no.
- [27:30]
Guest Female
All right, you can have my job. I'll quit.
- [27:34]
Brady
You're not cutting it. Good day, sir.
- [27:35]
John Holmberg
I don't think you. I don't think you'd do it. I don't think you can fire people. I'm going to talk to Tripp today. I'm going to say, who's on the block next? There's somebody you know. Radio's in the dumper. We're doing great, but nationally, our company is trying to cut corners everywhere. And they're taking away from the rich to keep the cruddy stations alive. We're losing people like mad for no reason. Everybody's getting consolidated.
- [27:56]
Brady
Could you imagine? That's a horrible job of firing. You know what?
- [27:59]
Dale Hellis
You're fired.
- [28:00]
John Holmberg
Trip's got his eye on somebody. I'll go in there and I'll be like, hey, Brady wants to do the next. Next slice. If he's. If you. Yeah. It's getting tiresome for me.
- [28:08]
Brett
So once he stops laughing at your.
- [28:10]
John Holmberg
Idea, you think Brady can do it? Like, I don't know. Is there somebody that. Somebody that. If Brady fails firing them, you don't mind if they're back again tomorrow? Because they're probably going to still come to work after Brady fires them.
- [28:24]
Brady
You put some cologne on.
- [28:25]
John Holmberg
I don't even. I don't even think you could be the witness in the room to fire someone. That's a tough gig. If you've ever been the one that. Because they have to have, like a. An HR person or a manager or something sitting in there, a witness to watch the firing and to keep it. I don't think you could do it.
- [28:41]
Guest Female
Come on.
- [28:43]
John Holmberg
No. I don't see it, man. The second, you know, my wife just left me. I'm really. I know I haven't been getting the job done and stuff, but my life is just a mess.
- [28:53]
Brett
That's why.
- [28:53]
Guest Female
Give him another chance.
- [28:57]
John Holmberg
Stop this madness. This poor bastard anyway. But stinky people should be fired today. I don't care if you're working on earlier, you know, again, it's not. It's not hard work. Smell that comes with the territory. A roof and construction, stuff like that. It's. You showed up smelling like ass. There's a difference.
- [29:19]
Brady
There's time. This. You know, like restaurants and certain business. You come in smelling like.
- [29:25]
John Holmberg
Go home. Go home. Change. If you show up for the day. No goodbye restaurants. No, you're done here. If you had the nerve to come into my restaurant, let alone change in.
- [29:37]
Brady
The outfit, you can't be wearing that.
- [29:39]
John Holmberg
And you stink like dirty people. I'm like, what? You have no thought process. This is. This is not a one off. It's one time. And that's the only time I would tell you when you got hired. I don't tolerate two things. Showing up dirty, showing up smelly. Otherwise you're going to have bad days and everything else. You show up stinky in a restaurant setting. I fired three people for not having clean aprons. And it was Tony Roma's. We worked in a barbecue place. But I'm like, dude, you got yesterday juice all over your apron. I didn't have time to wash it. Yes, you did. You went home last night. You went. I would tell my. I'm gonna let go of this guy after the night. Why? Oh, he showed up covered in yesterday juice. He said he didn't have time to do laundry, but he also was out with us last night drinking till two, so, yeah, he did. I had time to do laundry. I was out with you the same time. The kid's name was Tony. The one. I just called him out. Oh, yeah, it was horrible. Came in, I mean, just. He had barbecue sauce on his shirt. I'm like, it's 11 in the morning. We haven't even served anything. How in the world are you going to tell the employees or the customers that this. You're covered in dirt?
- [30:50]
Dale Hellis
Well, they won't even notice.
- [30:52]
John Holmberg
I'm like, I saw this first thing I saw. So he finished his shift and I let him go. It was awful.
- [31:00]
Brett
Did Bill Osborne have to go through and fire people?
- [31:02]
John Holmberg
Bill? I tell you what. Bill taught me how great it is because I would come in, I would come into work, open the door, and I'd see Bill behind the bar. And again, for those of you who've never heard my Bill Osborne stories, picture Gene Wilder, who sounds like Jack Nicholson. And he would lick his hands as I walked in the door. And I'm like, what are you doing? I killed again.
- [31:25]
Brady
Licking him like a cat.
- [31:27]
John Holmberg
Yeah, yeah, he's licking the. Licking his paws. I laid in the high grass and I waited for Rosalie to come to work today. And I pounced right as I had the opportunity. It's time to take your cheap two dollar perfume and your even cheaper shoes to another restaurant because you don't work here anymore. And it felt good. Do I have any blood on Me like, no. All right. And then he'd tell me, johnny, like, what is it? I'm laying in the high grass again. All right, who is it? I'm looking at Jacques. I've about had it. I think he drinks on the job. You gotta find stuff for me. So I was kind of his right hand man. If you catch him, the hitman. And then Jock was the gay one that asked me to have sex with him.
- [32:11]
Brett
Wait, what?
- [32:12]
John Holmberg
Jacques was? Oh, yes. Jacques was an insanely homosexual man in 1988. And I mean, crazy.
- [32:22]
Brett
Did you bring him home to meet Dan?
- [32:24]
John Holmberg
Good lord, no. And I had bleached my hair. And it looked good. It looked good. I looked summer. It was summer. Summer, Johnny. Trust me, Brett. It was the best it could get. And I was tan, and I had the glowing blonde hair. And Jock sat at the end of the bar and said exactly this in front of Bill. I'd give you my car if I could get you to just call me daddy once. And I'm like, what? And then Bill's like, and then he called me Moses because he said, I saw the burning bush. And that's when my hair turned white. Jock's trying to Moses right in front of us. It was okay back in the 80s to say that kind of stuff. But then he laid high. So I was happy when he wanted Jock out of there because I felt uncomfortable. But anybody stunk or anybody showed up dirty once I got the. Once I got the keys. That ain't flying. You gotta have some pride at your job. Show up and actually be clean. At the very least, we don't have to dress up for this job. But none of us show up, like, unbathed and smelly or anything like that. I mean, occasionally Toledo's got that coffee thing going on, but big whoop. We told him. Remember when Toledo was breathing over your shoulder and you're like, I can't do it. I can't do it. Whatever coffee that you're drinking smells like ass and it's coming out of your face. And Toledo's like, oh, thanks. And it has never happened again. This guy says, I went on a date with a woman that was absolutely stunning. A nine out of ten. But she stunk so bad, I bailed after 20 minutes. And that's from a dude who calls himself Showtime Shane. That's how to print that one. If you can't impress Showtime, shame. He's the rooting as tootin his Shane I've ever talked to. Wow. Wow. Why, you're just absolutely visually beautiful. But you smell like a poodle getting a perm in a sewer. So I gotta shut her down. Adios from Showtime. Shade. Yahoo. Showtime Shane.
- [34:32]
Brett
And Rinks up there with the Love.
- [34:34]
John Holmberg
Wolf that calls the love wolf. Showtime Shane. Brady's neighbor. Call me Razor. No jackass. Now I like to be called Razor. You're a middle aged man. No one called you. You're not on the razor's edge of anything. Can I call you Dull? Showtime. Shame. You know what the best thing that ever happened to that smelly girl you took on a date that you didn't like her because she was like.
- [34:59]
Guest Female
I went on a date with a guy who wouldn't refuse to just be called Shane. Every time I'd say Shane, he'd go rat.
- [35:06]
John Holmberg
We both know that's not it.
- [35:09]
Guest Female
Showtime Shane. Will you pass the salt?
- [35:11]
John Holmberg
Yeah. Showtime Shane is here for you, my love.
- [35:14]
Brady
What do you do? I take tickets. And Harkins.
- [35:16]
John Holmberg
That's right. Cause it's Showtime and my name's Shane. So combo those things up. Cause I'm Showtime Shane. 7:15 Theater 9 down the right in the hall.
- [35:26]
Guest Female
Thanks. Showtime Shane.
- [35:28]
John Holmberg
Showtime Shane. And you know he talks third person. Showtime Shane would like to take you out again.
- [35:32]
Guest Female
Oh, I don't know Showtime Shane if that's a good idea.
- [35:35]
Brett
He's like Ricky Anderson.
- [35:36]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [35:37]
Brady
Oh yeah.
- [35:38]
John Holmberg
Showtime Shane's seeing a little bit of trepidation from his lady.
- [35:43]
Guest Female
I don't like that you call me your lady.
- [35:45]
John Holmberg
Oh my lady. Showtime Shane has offended the.
- [35:48]
Guest Female
Oh my God. I think it's time to go home. Showtime Shane.
- [35:52]
John Holmberg
Oh, oh. Showtime Shane. Sensing a little horniness, he wants to just skip dinner and go right to the house.
- [35:59]
Guest Female
No, just I'm not feeling well.
- [36:02]
Brady
He let her know when they're at their date at Medieval Times.
- [36:05]
John Holmberg
My late my lady. Showtime Shane will take care of whatever ails you. We'll stop by a CVS and get you some Pepto. Only thing Showtime Shane's afraid of is a little diarrhea. Because I don't want that chocolate fondue going off while I'm downtown. Cuz I'm Showtime Shane. And guess what? It's Showtime. It fires off that he was with a stinky broad. Shocker. Well, it's 10 o'. Clock. Dates just about over. You want to know why they call me Showtime?
- [36:37]
Guest Female
No, not at all.
- [36:39]
John Holmberg
Cause it's Showtime. Showtime Shane Jr. Is out. Showtime Shane met her at the Lost Dutchman's. This is my friend Nighthawk. Nick. Between Showtime and Nighthawk, you're surrounded by badassery. Now let's get you in a shower because you stink.
- [37:04]
Guest Female
Oh, Showtime Shane.
- [37:05]
John Holmberg
I wonder if Showtime Shane got married to someone that tolerated it.
- [37:09]
Brady
His best man was Hollywood Bob.
- [37:11]
John Holmberg
Well, I remember Hollywood Bob is actually a nice guy. But that nickname was not Hollywood Bob's fault. Yeah, that was.
- [37:16]
Brett
That was given to his name.
- [37:18]
John Holmberg
Dave Pratt gave people dip. I almost said it. Dip nicknames. I'm gonna call you Hollywood Bob. You're Scuba Steve and you're Hollywood Bob, and I'm a wretched prick. I met a guy once at a wedding, and one side of the wedding was just all normal people. And then the. The bride's side of the wedding was just two people. Like, you couldn't put this in a funnier movie. And the two people that were sitting there in support of the bride were a woman that I didn't really think was supposed to be there. I think she looked like she maybe just wandered in. And the guy she was standing next to was a guy named Edward. And I went up to him and he goes, kids, you know you just met the. The bride's party. So I went over and I said, I've been friends with the groom for a long time, saying, hi, my name is Eddie. I'm like, hi, but you can call me. I'm like, then I already know we're in trouble when a guy says, you can call me Fast Eddie. And then Fast Eddie proceeded to limp out with a cane. It was the slowest one there. And it wasn't an ironic nickname. He really thought he was pistol quick with a line. If you're. There's another thing on today, though. If you stink and if somebody's like, if you know anybody that starts that introduces themself with but you can call me. No, I'm gonna call you. Your name Carl. You can call me Hot Carl. You haven't even looked it up. Don't. What are you doing, Carl?
- [38:47]
Brady
Sounds cool.
- [38:48]
John Holmberg
Yeah, this is my friend Showtime Shane. Nope, I'm calling you Shane. I'm calling you Carl. This is ridiculous. You're adults. Knock it off, Showtime. The dude rode over and then the best part about his email was his name. Showtime was all caps.
- [39:05]
Brett
Yeah, everything else was normal, but the.
- [39:07]
John Holmberg
Showtime was all designed to be yelled Showtime Shade. Wahoo. That is ridiculous. Yeah. Do you ever tell that that neighbor of yours, like, do you call them Razor. It's Laser. Laser. Whatever it is.
- [39:23]
Dale Hellis
Yeah.
- [39:23]
John Holmberg
Who cares, stupid?
- [39:25]
Brady
Not anymore.
- [39:26]
John Holmberg
No, he just. Now he's grown out of it.
- [39:28]
Brady
Yeah.
- [39:28]
John Holmberg
Has he grown out of it?
- [39:29]
Brady
Yeah, he doesn't care either.
- [39:31]
John Holmberg
Way. Well, no, he should, like. Yeah, you just call him his name.
- [39:35]
Brady
Yeah, I. And I might throw it in every line if I wanted to get his attention. Making a fun of it.
- [39:42]
John Holmberg
Yes, because it's the most ridiculous thing anybody's ever done when they've moved into a neighborhood and you were kind enough to go over and greet them. He, at that point, did not realize this would happen every day. He just thought the neighbors were coming over to say hello. He didn't know that you were going to live in his driveway throughout the entire tenure of his existence. But he.
- [39:59]
Guest Female
Hi, my name is Brady. It's good to have you in the neighborhood.
- [40:01]
John Holmberg
My name is Laser Beams.
- [40:06]
Guest Female
That's awesome. Thank you.
- [40:08]
John Holmberg
I think he said that to you to keep you off his driveway. And it didn't work. He didn't realize it. Brady's, like, backfired nicknames. Awesome.
- [40:15]
Brett
But Brady's a nickname kind of guy. Yeah, I mean, it just, you know, the. The fraternity torp. I mean, every. Everybody around him is all. Is all nickname.
- [40:23]
Guest Female
Calls himself Laser. You can call me Beowulf.
- [40:30]
John Holmberg
Idiots. Yahoo. Showtime Shane. First I felt sorry for Showtime Shane for being in that date with that stinky girl. And then I felt great for the stinky girl that she didn't get locked into Showtime Shane. I wonder if at his wedding, the. You know, the guy goes, and do you, Mary Lou, take Shane. Sorry, Showtime Shane. To be your lawfully wedded Showtime husband? That's better. Nice job. Oh, my God. This guy said, that lady probably spent the entire night rubbing on herself to get away from Showtime Shane. She lost a bet.
- [41:15]
Guest Female
I have to date that Showtime Shane.
- [41:18]
Brady
Why?
- [41:19]
Guest Female
Oh, he's making trouble at work. So I just said, if I go out with you, can this end? You know what you should do is rub all over yourself so he never asks again. You know, it's worth it to never be with Showtime Shane again.
- [41:36]
John Holmberg
Showtime Shane. Alice in Chains, Alan. Iron Maiden people. There's a lot of Iron Maiden blanks. I've met five Iron Maiden mics. Time to stop that. You're grown up now. It's time to nickname some folks. Stinky Pete and Stinky Dave just tell people they smell. And whoever that guy was last night, I put the onus on his partner at the game to not say anything to him and then to drag ass around with him. And the worst part was, I seemed to be the only one going, come on. Is no one else concerned that the people around you think you stink and you don't know if it's you? Everybody Else is minding their own. Drove me nuts. Let's get a wake up song, shall we? 585-9800. A good one. And we'll scream it together. And we'll do it for Showtime chain. It's 98 KUPD. Wake up.
- [42:24]
Guest Female
Hey.
- [42:24]
John Holmberg
It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees. I have heard enough of this.
- [42:33]
Dale Hellis
Holmberg's morning sickness.
- [42:35]
John Holmberg
The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Thank you, Katie. And the Hobbs. That's miles to nowhere. And off we go. Before we get into the stinky emails, Brett just said something. He goes, john's name of that pillow. You said there's a side sleeper. It's got like a cutout in it. Oh, just do it. Verlo. Verlo. That's V E R L O. Go to that website. The mattresses are great. Top that off, you match. Cover that up. But that pillow with the. Are you a side sleeper, Brady, you sleep on your back. You have to because of all the machinery, right?
- [43:12]
Brady
I do, but I. I go to the side.
- [43:15]
John Holmberg
But you're not like a guy who starts there. Yeah.
- [43:18]
Brady
45 minutes an hour.
- [43:20]
John Holmberg
Yeah. Side sleepers start there. That's a thing. You're a side sleeper?
- [43:23]
Brett
Yeah, I start on my back just right before I'm ready to go to bed, and then right, right on my side.
- [43:27]
John Holmberg
I think you're against God if you sleep on your back like that. No, I can't.
- [43:30]
Brett
When I get into bed, I'm on my back. And then when it's time to go.
- [43:33]
John Holmberg
To sleep, as a result, hospitals are the only place you can do like back sleep like that. Even that side sleeper pillow they've got, it's a. It. It looks like somebody took a bite out of the middle of it. And you just jam it up, put it over your shoulder. Oh, my God. Changes everything. Verlo. I'd never even heard of it. Went over there. Talked to Jonathan at Verlo. I was like, my God, what's this? And he's got all those beds in his showroom. And I just laid down. He goes, try it. And I put that pillow. I'm like, I want two of these immediately. This is happening now.
- [44:03]
Brady
Give me a couple hours to decide. You could leave the area.
- [44:07]
John Holmberg
No kidding. While I was there, I just started falling asleep because that pillow hit me and I'm like, oh, baby, it's like 2 in the afternoon. I was already comfortable on the bed. Oh, forget it. Anyway. Yeah, that's great. Speaking of stinky people all the time, I got all these folks who are like, so I'm a department manager for an AV production company. We work in a warehouse. Understandably, everybody sweats, but there's a couple of people who just have horrible body odor. And I've had to give a warning in team meetings about, you know, making sure that we keep it as good as possible. But things haven't changed. One was an intern. I've let him go. But the other. But I have one guy that's someone I absolutely need. He's necessary to the company, but my fear is he's already looking around for other gigs. I don't want to ruffle feathers because how much we need him. How do I get this guy to clean it up? Stop stinking because he's good at what he does. Signed anonymous. Ish. Oof. That's a tough one. If you've got a necessary worker who's really good but stinks and you don't want to piss him off. Well, I don't know how you do that at all. I guess you just kind of give them gifts and things.
- [45:13]
Brady
You got to talk to him or just eventually.
- [45:16]
John Holmberg
Yeah, you tell him and a couple other guys. Man, you guys are working hard. I can smell you over here. I'm gonna hose you down and hit him with some air freshener. It's bad. Go home and shower up. Like, make jokes about, like, how everybody stinks, but it's unbearable. And always do it with him around. And then, you know, occasionally hose them off with some stuff. I can't smell you guys anymore. I don't know what's going on. You guys stink and then laugh. Haha. We're working hard though. Unless you just don't care. Otherwise fire stinky people. Stinky people need to get fired.
- [45:46]
Brady
Well, in the younger generation, the ones that are doing that pheromone.
- [45:50]
John Holmberg
Yeah. Okay. Fired, fired, fired. No showers. You're fired.
- [45:55]
Brett
About bad dumpers at work.
- [45:57]
John Holmberg
I'm borderline paint off the wall. Yeah, you're talking about Scott Taylor.
- [46:00]
Brett
Well, besides him, there's a.
- [46:02]
John Holmberg
You know, I mean, I love Scott. He seems like a great guy. Have you noticed Scott? He's dropped like 125 pounds.
- [46:08]
Brett
Yeah, it's all in our toilet downstairs.
- [46:10]
John Holmberg
Yeah, because he causes. Because he's got dysentery. His body's given up. He can't stop all over the office. Losing weight. Like AIDS is like, slow down, dude.
- [46:23]
Brett
Easy up there south.
- [46:25]
John Holmberg
Have a sandwich there. What are you going for the Oscar? Calm down. He Looks great. Then he showed pictures of himself. I didn't realize that Scott was job of the Hut a year ago. He was huge, big blubbering, massive turd that was going into the bathroom.
- [46:42]
Dale Hellis
Gotta take another.
- [46:44]
John Holmberg
They go in there for an hour and dump. Go get 10 minutes of work done, go back and dump some more. It's been 20 minutes since he's. It was like, you know people who smoke at work every couple minutes. I need to take another break.
- [46:58]
Brady
Just like American Pie.
- [47:00]
John Holmberg
Yeah, yeah, it's his name. Break Boy. This dude. This guy says, I finally realized KUPD is the NBA. And all the other cruddy stations in your companies dossier is the wnba. You keep the lights on for those socks. Yes, we do. And all other stations are socks. You're right. Every one of them. We gotta sit and read about emails about what's going on in Cincinnati and to wherever else we got.
- [47:32]
Guest Female
Times are tough.
- [47:33]
John Holmberg
Look, we're doing fine. We're gonna have to let several people go in Phoenix since it's, you know, that place will make a killing. They don't need all those people. So Radio Firearm. I got it. Yeah, you can do it, John. President John, one of our black listeners says I gotta tell all black people in my community to wash your ass and carry some body spray. Y' all stink. All right, well that's nothing I know about from that community. I'm. I would never dare say such a thing. But John did. President John says Maryvale, take a bath. Crying out loud. And Showtime Shane has emailed in. He got his nickname when he did. Was it like dune racing or something? Says I've been a listener for 20 years. Love the show. Dying laughing at Showtime Shane. I was given the nickname in the 90s from my racing days in the sand dunes and it stuck. But only my racing buddies call me that. You guys are the best. Well, if that's the case, stop signing your emails. Showtime Shane.
- [48:32]
Brett
We're not your racing buddies.
- [48:33]
John Holmberg
If it's. If that's you begging to be called Showtime Shane, I find it hysterical. And he said, I've used it in business for years. Everyone remembers Showtime. I run into them later and say they say you're the Showtime guy. So why rock the boat, Showtime? Are you sure they're not kind of making fun of you? Hey, there's that guy. Hey, what's up, Showtime? I was doing my friend John Sharp make through school as a huge Eminem fan. People called him Shady and he liked that. And then he got a real job later. And one of the Guys that he knew in high school came and goes, hey, what's up, Shady? And John's like, don't call me that here. Don't call me that anymore at all. It's. Don't. That was not. No, you don't want that to stick forever. Feels like a crazy person. All right, stop it. I got three emails in a row. Please send me the information on the side sleeper pill. I just did. It's called Verlo. You do the work. I want to send you information. What am I, a Jehovah's Witness? I'm not coming to your house and dropping off pamphlets.
- [49:33]
Brady
Need you to stop by.
- [49:34]
John Holmberg
Yeah, please fire up some information and maybe a customer review. Maybe some sort of. I don't know if there's a testimonial. No, you do it.
- [49:42]
Brady
Just reply. So give me your address.
- [49:44]
John Holmberg
No. Yeah, I'll send a pillow. You get a pillow, Verlo. That's where you go meet the little guy over there. You know, I give you a little mascot mattress. These pillows. I'm telling you, game changing super pillows. Last night, police had to shoot a dude who was whipping a machete around and threatened a kid. So they shot him. They got him out. And it just goes to show you that every time I talk about tactical black and I say we do machete training, I.
- [50:17]
Brady
You don't need that.
- [50:17]
John Holmberg
Do people say that? I've seen more stories about, like, my eyes are open to it since when? I was out there a couple years ago. And Jay's like, all right, we're gonna do knife defense. We're gonna do gun360 defense on this and that. And then he said, and then stick. And I'm like, that makes sense. And he goes, machete. And I'm like, I mean, you can't even buy him. What are we, in the jungles? Nobody's gonna do that. And then, like, ever since he said that and I've kind of done training against machete attacks, I've seen, like, probably 20 stories of dudes with machetes doing stuff. They took one down last night. I did think, if you even own a machete and it's not under lock and key somewhere, like, if it's. If you're a landscaper or you're like a guy who has to machete stuff, I'm not even sure when that's necessary, that should be in, like, some sort of case all the time. If the machete ever comes out at the house, nothing good's gonna happen. Nobody carries a machete around. And has good intentions to like put it down and leave, you know? No. So they got him and killed him last night. I think they killed him. It says they shot him. No, he's in a hospital. Yeah. You joined. You're getting shot. You're just walking around normal areas with a machete in your hands. There's no reason not to take action against that dude. That's crazy.
- [51:37]
Brett
And where was that?
- [51:38]
John Holmberg
Well, there you go.
- [51:40]
Brady
Yeah.
- [51:40]
John Holmberg
Thank you.
- [51:42]
Brady
They said another part of training.
- [51:43]
John Holmberg
They said it's in. They said it's a central Phoenix neighborhood. And I'm like, oh, geez, that's kind of my area. And then they said it was 31st Avenue and whatever else. I'm like, that's not central. That's west side.
- [51:57]
Brady
Machete country.
- [52:00]
John Holmberg
That's machete country. You never get that calls like today on Val Vista and Baseline doesn't happen. Today at the Biltmore. A man with a machete did great work and chopped up some of the bushes. It looks better than ever. That's the only news you'll ever get. Thank you, Jesus. I mean, Jesus. Then he put it right back in his box, locked it and went to his house where he whipped it out for family and had to be shot to death. It's. Yeah, it's a thing. Also, I've been loving the idea of the new. Oh yeah, by the way. Oh, Scott Haynes said that. They said it's 15 years from now. If there's still radio and email, somebody will be emailing and going, yeah, my mom used to do that. I used to think it was hilarious. Hey, I love the show sign Tylenol Talon. Like that's probably true. The nicknames in the future are all going to be Tylenol based a seat of minute fin. Andy. Yeah. Somebody who knew Scott Taylor, our job of the hut who's lost all the weight. I call him Manjiorno now because he doesn't admit to it, but he's lost too much weight too fast. So he's definitely poking his belly with us with some sort of. No, just it's my calories. I'm like, no, you're. You're on the Ozempic and that's fine. This person knew him before we did. And he said Scott lost a bunch of weight, got married and blew right the F up again. So maybe it's a trend. He looks great. But you know what's not lost any of its potency with the weight loss? His massive multiple per day in our building. Can't even walk by. I don't even use that bathroom. But I know when Scott's been in it, because when I have to walk in the hallway, that, oof, it's the dude from the game last night. It's brutal. And then there's the other thing. It still happens. And so as we're kind of on this, my trend today is to let people know, be a friend. Be a friend today. Be a real friend. If your friend stinks, say so. They're doing something silly, say so. If you've got someone in your life that says they're dating a member of the cast of General Hospital and they've yet to meet them, but they've got say something to them. Say, nope, you're not. And have you sent them money? That's the first question you ask.
- [54:12]
Guest Female
And say, well, they did need a little.
- [54:13]
John Holmberg
No. The cast of General Hospital doesn't ask random strangers for cash. That's just not happening. How are you so blind to this? But another lady, it's happened again. And it's the headline. Says she thought she was flirting with her favorite celebrity, but it turned out to be a heartbreaking deep fake scam that cost her everything. Her life savings is gone. And then she go for, I've never heard of him. This is actually a pretty good scam, if you ask me, because. But the odds are hitting with this one Steve Burton, who's on General Hospital. And I didn't even think people still watched that show, but they do. And the woman's name is Abigail Ruvalak. Bacaba Ruval Kaba Ruvalakabra. Whoa. Brett says that she get in Ruvel Kaba Ru Valkaba Abigail Ruva Caba. But. And I don't know what this dude looks like Steve Burton, but, you know, they're blaming him in a way. It's like with deep fakes and AI and everything else, it's more important than ever to check in with, you know, lonely mom, lonely aunt, lonely grandma, and say, hey, how's that computer treating you?
- [55:30]
Guest Female
Good. I've met a lot of new people. Let's.
- [55:32]
John Holmberg
Let's take a look at your new friend list.
- [55:35]
Guest Female
Yeah. One of the guys is on General Hospital. He's taking an interest in me. I send him pictures of Ms. Nooch.
- [55:39]
John Holmberg
Mom, we're taking. Taking the computer away for five or six days. No.
- [55:43]
Guest Female
But then I won't get to talk to my friends on General Hospital.
- [55:46]
Brady
They've shut down production. Yeah, he needs a little money.
- [55:49]
John Holmberg
Yeah. The guy on General Hospital, they told him, and he's like, I didn't know this was happening. He's had numerous encounters over the last few years where strangers approach him and say, I enjoy your emails. Or I love that we chat. And he's like, oh, I'm not doing that. So he has to break hearts. He said, I get a thousand messages a day, and a few hundred of them are people who think we're chatting on other apps. I don't have those apps. My agent, my manager, my publicist, nobody will be reaching out to you. I tell them he said in a Facebook warning to his fans, please be careful. You're not speaking to me. And what he's saying essentially is, you're a peon and I'm on tv. We've never met, and I don't have to troll the Internet for ass. I'm a soap opera star on General Hospital. I go outside and I get. By the way, also, I'm a soap opera star on General Hospital. I love sucking. That's what I do. I'm a gay. I'm on. I'm on a soap opera. I'm not interested in a woman. So he says, please don't do this anymore. In 2023, 65,000 people reported being a victim of a romance scam. It is. How much do you think those 65,000 people lost? This is the estimate. How much? 65,000 people scammed by romance scams. And that can be catfishing. That can be, you know, this kind of thing. One of those deals like flag lady sent 10 grand to that guy in a book that she'd cut. How much money do you think they've estimated has gone out the door with that amount of people being scammed by the Internet? Love. Take a shot. Don't look it up. Don't be like, well, the listeners we hate. Brady just picked up his phone. He was.
- [57:34]
Brady
Six and a half million.
- [57:35]
John Holmberg
He was going to use his phone. Okay, six and a half million. What's your guess?
- [57:38]
Brady
No, it was as you.
- [57:39]
John Holmberg
I pull out 5,000 calculator. Yeah. 65,000 people getting scammed on Internet romance scams where they're sending money or doing some sort of weird thing. 65,000 of them hit. What do you think the total amount of money that has been that have been lost? Brady says 6 million, 65,000. You're looking at 10, 12,000 a person.
- [58:04]
Brett
I'm gonna up them. I'm gonna.
- [58:06]
John Holmberg
10, you know, 10 million. $1.14 billion. Talk to your parents today.
- [58:13]
Brett
So basically, toss your parents sell now.
- [58:15]
John Holmberg
Yeah, I taught. Yeah, you got to go to the kids and you got to go to the parents. If they've ever asked you how email works, they're not allowed to use it. That's basically what.
- [58:22]
Guest Female
I don't know how to get it right. I have these people that are trying.
- [58:25]
John Holmberg
To get a hold of me, and how in the world did they get a hold of Steve Burton from General Hospital in the first place to where this dude had to reach out to her? Like, they're not registering that Steve Burton just randomly found you in Tallahassee and said, hey, I like the cut of your chip. You lonely?
- [58:45]
Guest Female
Yes, I'm very lonely.
- [58:46]
John Holmberg
Great. I'm Steve Burton from General Hospital. Familiar?
- [58:49]
Guest Female
Yes.
- [58:50]
John Holmberg
Well, I love you, and I'm going to marry you. And $1.14 billion have gone out the.
- [58:56]
Brady
Door, almost getting basically 20 grand a person.
- [59:00]
John Holmberg
Well, he's. It's not all one guy.
- [59:02]
Brady
I know. But I'm saying if you average over 65,000.
- [59:05]
John Holmberg
$1.14 billion. And this lady lost it all, she said, you may not be yearning for it, but I'd be hard pressed to point to a person that wouldn't want to be adored by a celebrity. You'd got to have some questions in your life. You got to sit back and go, all right. If you've not touched the flesh of another human, they can't have your money. That is a rule that everybody needs to teach. Mom. If you meet someone online and they need money, you meet them in person with me before any money gets exchanged. You are not mailing money to a stranger ever. And that's. I prided myself on my brand being authentic, and the people know that. So they take the fact that I'm known and trusted as an authentic person, and. And he did. Steve Harvey is one of those people that is getting like. People believe. Steve Harvey has reached out to them and said, I like you, and I need a couple bucks, and they're doing it. The lady that had the Brad Pitt one, remember her? A couple years ago, she. She thought she was in a relationship with Brad Pitt online. She released the texts between her and Brad. She now knows it's a scam. Have you seen the pictures that were sent? It's like South Park. The Brad Pitt photos are essentially just his head cut off on this. It's not even like, oh, my God, terrible work. I mean, it is just. Absolutely.
- [60:32]
Brett
Toss the cell.
- [60:33]
John Holmberg
Yeah. And so. And look how handsome he is. But he's in a hospital bed with makeup on. And. And she's like, yeah, I don't know why, but, I mean, I was just so taken aback by the fact that Brad Pitt was interested in me. He wasn't. Stop saying that. Toss mom cell. If you've got a lonesome friend who's like, you know, and you know she's telling someone.
- [60:55]
Guest Female
Brad Pitt and I have been talking online.
- [60:57]
John Holmberg
Uh. Oh, get out the longarm jacket.
- [61:03]
Guest Female
I know. I think it's real. I think we're. He's in the hospital.
- [61:05]
John Holmberg
Is he? Because I just saw him on a award show.
- [61:08]
Guest Female
He has a double.
- [61:09]
John Holmberg
Oh, my God, she's gone. Yeah. It's not good. So if you've got anybody in your life that you may think is about to send a check to, you know, Benito del Toro, I'm telling you right now, you are not talking to Benito del Toro at all.
- [61:30]
Brady
You're better off sending it to the African king.
- [61:32]
John Holmberg
Yeah, well, yeah, no, it's. It's. That's more realistic. There's a better chance that the Nigerian prince is real than it is that you're talking to anyone on General Hospital who's like, I need a couple bucks.
- [61:42]
Brett
Or the tractor supply company.
- [61:44]
John Holmberg
No, that's real. I love the receipts for that. $19 just to enter. I didn't pay for anything. I just.
- [61:52]
Brady
19?
- [61:53]
John Holmberg
No, no, they asked for more. I'd be like, hey, now I've got the generators on the way.
- [61:57]
Brett
What if you get dua lipa. Gmail.com. needing money?
- [62:00]
John Holmberg
I'm just gonna play along with that. I know. That's not.
- [62:03]
Brady
It's a long shot.
- [62:05]
John Holmberg
I can. My imagination would be like, this is. I know. It's. First things first. You would come to me and go, you know that's not really her, right? And I'm like, come on. Yeah, of course I do. But I'm still going to go ahead with it, because when I close my eyes real hard, I know they're not.
- [62:17]
Brady
Talking about it, but she is in the hospital, right?
- [62:19]
John Holmberg
Yeah. No, no, it's. And I would be like, guys, please. I'm not an idiot, but I am going to send money to this girl just to keep this alive. I think it's fantastic. And with, you know, AI, stuff like that, it's going to get worse and worse. It's not going to get better. So it is. It's time to toss. Toss Granny's computer. I would. I would have said toss Granny sell, but some people think it sounds like salad too much and that I don't want people to crash their cars. It's disgusting. But, yeah, so it's one. I saw that number. I could not believe $1.14 billion in romance scams for just those 65,000 people that have been hit with it. And that is, you know, that's. They never meet them. And. And with all the news that's out there saying be careful of it or why there's a whole television show, there was a word invented. Catfishing is a thing that wasn't a thing 15 years ago, but now everybody knows it. It's not even.
- [63:13]
Brady
I think I saw MTV canceled.
- [63:15]
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah. I mean, because you can't do it anymore.
- [63:17]
Brady
Just this year something.
- [63:19]
John Holmberg
Because the catfishers aren't gonna. Nobody's gonna agree to be on that show ever again. It's. Yeah. And plus, because they're out of.
- [63:25]
Brady
They can't keep up with the demand.
- [63:27]
John Holmberg
Of tough sheds, the tuff sheds that the in are few and far between. At this point. If you have not met the person. I talked to a girl here whose son has a long distance Internet girlfriend. They met gaming. And I'm like, oh, geez. And she goes, I know. I'm like, he's not sending her money. And she goes, no. We've tried to keep an eye on it, like, but through Roblox and stuff like that, you can start sending cash to people and they can do it. And I don't understand why anybody would want that. Man ty teos on TV. I remember him 18 years ago when he had the fake girlfriend that he was in love with and never met her. And he was at Notre Dame and she was at USC and he never met her. And then she fake died then.
- [64:11]
Brady
I don't think he ever. Did he send her cash.
- [64:13]
John Holmberg
I don't think he sent her all sorts of stuff. But then she fake died. They had a memorial at the game for Manti's girlfriend that died. And then a few weeks later, she pops back up and says, I didn't die. I had to die. I'm like, oh, okay. And he was like, deep. The documentary was hilarious. And the whole time you kind of feel sorry for Manti, but at the same time you're like, no, you did this to yourself, dumbass. Don't do it. I don't understand you people anymore. If you haven't met someone at all, don't give them money. Individuals, people that promise you prizes and cash that's always good, throw money at that every time. What if it's real? And then there's the other thing. I saw in the news yesterday and I kind of felt bad. This dude was crying on tv and I always either find it, most of the time I find it absolutely hysterical if it's not death related, like a dog or a parent or a, you know, like somebody you love or something like that. If somebody's crying on tv. But if a man's crying on TV over something, just generally, you know, the Jimmy Kimmel thing, that's going to get.
- [65:19]
Brady
A couple of chances.
- [65:19]
John Holmberg
I'm going to laugh at it. I'm going to stop what I'm doing. I'm going to watch TV for a little. There's this dude and he was in a, he was in a coffee trailer, one of those mobile. It's, you know those trucks that go around and give people food against the government's wishes. And this is another one. So he's parking in this hospital up here at Mayo. And he seemed like a nice person and everything else, but the hospital asked him not to show up anymore I guess because his company is called Graveyard Shift Coffee and his logo is a doctor with a stethoscope around his neck. But the doctor is clearly a skeleton that he's just dead as can be. And the hospital's like, eh, not real sure we want people reminded of graveyards and death while they're wandering through the parking lot. And they say the offensive logo, they gotta go. The logo's making people uncomfortable. And the guy's like, we just wanted to silk off. Can you sell it somewhere other than the hospital? I know I'm if I'm going to the hospital. You just went through your thing. The last thing you want to see as you're walking in is death, right? The image of death. Yeah, yeah. I mean I'm not that superstitious but the last like that's kind of aggressive. Yeah, I don't really want to see, you know, a skeleton on the side of a thing. But they're like, oh, what do we do? So we called the news and Graveyard Shift Coffee serves drinks to healthcare workers at various hospitals that work the overnight shift. And those people are horribly dark humored people most of the time. The EMTs and the hospital employees at the overnight shift. Oh, I know, they're. Oh yeah. Oh yeah, they are. They've seen it all. They have a dark sense of humor. So they're not mad. But the people going in who just got diagnosed with something or not feeling great or like, I don't want to walk by a trailer that has death on the side. So the guy's like, it was made for people with shifts, third shifters, they. It's the fuel that saves lives. We thought it would be great to do this for a couple of years. Mayo and Mayo Clinic said that was a big spot they went. But they said, effective immediately, they've canceled all of our bookings. We're not allowed their one call. They said our name and our logo had offended people. And they're like, what was offensive? Well, I can tell you right now, people wandering in for treatment of any sort. Leukemia, cancer, aids, anything else? The last thing you want to see when they go into a hospital is a skeleton. That's it.
- [67:40]
Brady
First time I walked into the MD Anderson, I thought I just was kind of cool. The truck was out there. Prostrate. Prostrate, check.
- [67:47]
John Holmberg
You'll get it.
- [67:51]
Brady
I almost had.
- [67:52]
John Holmberg
Yeah, you should have just quit. You should have. No, not really. And it doesn't make sense anyway, because it's just a prostate check and some coffee. Hey, that's a good idea. That sounds nice. I'll be honest with you. I get fingered and a cup of joe. That's okay.
- [68:10]
Dale Hellis
Holmberg's morning sickness.
- [68:14]
John Holmberg
But that doesn't signify. Oh, the doom and gloom of, you know, the hammer, the sickle, and the. The hood. You don't want that. You want a doctor that's a skeleton. And the word graveyard just emblazoned across the side of the trailer. It's not good. Where's the common Sense? But Channel 3 went out there and is like, we talked to the Mayo Clinic. Meth Clinic's like, come on. What are we talking about here? We can't have that stuff. You don't want, you know, a guy with a shovel and a tombstone as the logo for the sandwich company in the morning. You just don't do it. Undertaker sandwiches. No, we're not doing that at the house. Too many people are on edge. We don't need them worried. And the guy said. The guy, the newscaster. She asked the guy at the hospital. She goes, what exactly offended you? And the guy was basically me. He goes, oh, I don't know. The skeleton, the word graveyard. Really? Yeah, that pretty much. Pretty much did it.
- [69:13]
Guest Female
It's been there for three and a half years, though.
- [69:15]
John Holmberg
Yeah. And then some people started talking, like, maybe it's not the best idea, and we moved him. Can't he sell his coffee somewhere else? Like go over to the fire department. Just drive around. You're mobile. Go to the fire department, Honk. Park outside for seconds. Like some guy would sell his coffee outside. Okay, you go get your coffee there.
- [69:31]
Guest Female
You have to get a permit to sit in somebody's.
- [69:34]
John Holmberg
Go buy a Brick and mortar and stop this, stop this nonsense.
- [69:38]
Brett
Grim Reaper coffee or whatever their new name.
- [69:41]
John Holmberg
You're not gonna make it coffee. I mean, what is it like you know, hospice? Yeah. Expiration coffee. Hospice coffee. That's it. Or just somebody with a tube in their neck getting coffee poured into a funnel. You might have a great, you might have a great product, but you have to live with the idea that the general public, especially where you're parking, said, nope, we don't want this anymore. Graveyard shift cock. It's clever enough, but for third shifters you can find, you know, go over to. There's plenty of places you worked overnights.
- [70:18]
Brett
Go right over here by this job site that those guys are walking in at 3 in the morning.
- [70:23]
John Holmberg
Oh man, these dudes are 24 hours a day. This construction thing that will never end next to us. I think they're building a portal to hell because it's non stop. It's been six years they've been digging this place up and they walk by all the time, all night and all day. Yeah, put your graveyard coffee there. They'll take it and evidently they need it. These dudes are zombies. They don't even look around. They'll let cars run into them. They don't care. They're video game characters, like master builders from Lego. But I watched that. But the only reason I watched because the dude started to cry. He's like, I just tried so hard to be. Guy's sad. That's funny.
- [71:01]
Brady
The owner of the business was.
- [71:02]
John Holmberg
He was inside his. He was inside his graveyard trailer and he's poking his head out the window. I was giggling the whole time. Like, look at him, the man's crying. It's funny. Dude's crying over stuff like Jimmy Kimmel the other night was trying to be heartfelt. I mean, he was trying to. Again, I go back to this exact feeling I had yesterday, which was nobody looked good in this thing. And Jimmy didn't take any onus or ownership of this whole deal and said he didn't mean it. When he should have just said nah. Well, I mean, it would have been more respectful to say I'm saving my own ass here. So I'm going to say whatever they told me. There was nothing authentic about it. But he started to cry and I started to laugh. I found it, I find it hysterical, getting choked up over something silly. I can't give coffee to these people. And he's like, he's looking at it like, what do I do? Change the name of your company if you've got A built in fan base. And you're making enough money, all you have to do is tell everybody we're not allowed here with Graveyard. He said, I'll cover it up like. Okay, well just change it. Change it to, you're gonna make it, Joe. Just call your company something positive and have the people at the hospital go, that's better. Overnight prognosis. Delicious. How about that? But don't you. I mean, if you've been called. My coffee wakes the dead. You don't want to bring it up at the hospital? Hospital isn't. Most people aren't happy when they're in the hospital. It's not like a great place to roll in.
- [72:34]
Brady
Terminal Coffee.
- [72:35]
John Holmberg
Showtime. Shane's Coffee Shop. That's it. Showtime, Shane. Nobody's upset at that. It's Showtime. It's dumb. But crying, Crying people on TV over like themselves. I find that to be almost always funny. And then I'm always rooting for one of those. Like, if we can get a guy who loses the. I just want to give these people coffee. Look at this guy. He didn't have a father at the house. That's a fact. Seemed like a nice guy though. But stop crying on tv. That's embarrassing.
- [73:17]
Brady
Hey, there's the truck. It's out front.
- [73:19]
John Holmberg
Is it outside? We didn't permit for that. Get your ass out of here. I don't want your make a fire your death trap. Yeah, Brady, you get rid of him. You go tell me you can't be here.
- [73:29]
Guest Female
Gonna have to ask you to get the off the premises.
- [73:32]
Brett
Brady's gonna fire him.
- [73:33]
John Holmberg
Yeah, Brady's gonna get rid of him.
- [73:34]
Guest Female
That's it. Keep it moving there, Graveyard Joe. Let's go. Mother.
- [73:39]
Brady
I told Roger Rabbit to take a hike.
- [73:41]
John Holmberg
He did. Years and years ago. He told the guy who played Roger Rabbit not that he couldn't come in. Charles Fleischman. Well, we were. We told him we didn't want him as a guest because it was like Roger Rabbit's doing some stand up thing.
- [73:54]
Brady
I thought they just came in, they thought they were scheduled here.
- [73:57]
John Holmberg
We told them no. No, that was Paul Rodriguez. Oh, he just showed up one day, but then we said no. And the publicist still drug him over to the thing. And then the front desk girl came in and said, Roger Rabbit's in the lobby. And I said, I told this lady three times, we weren't taken. We're not taking them as a guest. We can't at least. And Brady had to go out there and say, because at the time, this is when we were first on, and Brady and I were the only ones in the room, and Brady was sort of the producer, but that never really was a thing. And so I said, well, that's what you do. You got to go tell them. You got to go tell the guests. This is. This is all right. And then Brady comes back with stormy face, like, didn't go well. Turned the mic's on and said, we just had to tell Roger Rabbit to leave Brady. How'd that go? Brady's face is just bright red and pursed up. And he goes, well, like, what was he like? He was a dick. And I'm like, all right. He threw the you know who I am at Brady.
- [74:58]
Brett
Roger Rabbit.
- [74:59]
John Holmberg
Roger Rabbit. Don't you know who I am? Yeah. And I said, he can come on the air if he begs, and I want it like this. That's what I needed to hear. But, yeah. So we've had those moments where Brady, that one time, it's like, don't yell up me.
- [75:16]
Brady
It's your guys.
- [75:17]
John Holmberg
We said we couldn't take it. Yeah, we can't get you. And we. We told you that. Do you know who I am? I played Roger Rabbit. You're gonna want me on the air.
- [75:24]
Guest Female
Sorry there, Roger. Time to go.
- [75:29]
John Holmberg
Don't make me beg.
- [75:30]
Guest Female
I don't care. Let me in and do the show. Okay.
- [75:37]
John Holmberg
That would have happened later when Brady would have let.
- [75:40]
Guest Female
Come on. He's funny. We could use a laugh.
- [75:45]
John Holmberg
Get him out of here. Get him out of here. Use a laugh anyway. Graveyard, coffee and Charles Fleischman. We have Brady doing all the work. What do you got on the big board of musical treats there? Wake up.
- [75:57]
Brett
Some brought to you by Action Ride Shop. And keep an eye on the socials because they're kind of giving you a weekly updates on what they got going on there as far as, like, what kind of deals are going on. They got tons of markdowns going on right now, waiting for that new inventory to come in. So now's the time to jump up on that new bike, if you've been thinking about it, at both locations. Actually, the brand new one over there on Power Road, McDowell right off the Hawes trailhead. And of course, the OG right there. Gilbert Road and Sonner. Action Ride shops. Gonna get you guys on the trails and rolling.
- [76:25]
John Holmberg
Got an email about a guy says it's amazing. Broad's always talking about who's supposed to be the smarter of the two. Like men or women. Smartest ones of the humans are women. Throw some celebrity D in their face. Online, they become deer in headlights losers. Signed Schmooney dance. I watched. You know what? I'm tired of too, and I'm just done with it. Like these. These moments where it's that whole thing we always talk about with. Gotta check with the warden. Happy wife, happy life. And there's no saying for a man, no women ever try to make men happy.
- [76:59]
Brady
Happy hubby.
- [76:59]
John Holmberg
They don't say it. They don't do it.
- [77:01]
Guest Female
A blowjob a day keeps the smile on his face.
- [77:04]
John Holmberg
That's not a phrase they ever use. They're disgusted by us and they say so, but it should be. I'm watching the news yesterday, and there's a. She's in great shape. Both these people are in great shape. And they called that three on your side thing. And they said they had to throw this in the story. They had a billing discrepancy at a. At a gym and there. And they start the story that I don't know their names. Tanya and Rod met on the basketball court and who won the game is still up for debate. And I'm looking at her and she's like a 5 foot 8 inch white woman. Then this hulking black man comes out and he's playing. He's playing defense. And I'm like, there was never a debate who won that game. It's still up.
- [77:46]
Guest Female
I think he says he let me win.
- [77:48]
John Holmberg
I'm like, have you seen your boyfriend? He did let. If you scored on him, he allowed it. And then they show him dunk once. And I'm like, come on. Why do we play this game with women where they. And they eat it up? I said it. I'm like, there was. I said, I'm talking to the TV like, I'm a hunter. I'm like, there's no debating who won the first game. That's stupid. Why do we do this? And making us.
- [78:11]
Guest Female
They're joking.
- [78:12]
John Holmberg
I'm like, well, it's enough. That joke is tired and stupid about how dopey man, she got the best of him. Didn't ever happen.
- [78:22]
Brady
You're like the guy watching the westerns. They don't have that.
- [78:26]
John Holmberg
Although westerns are at least fictional. This is. These are two real people with a real thing on a. On a build discrepancy news story. We had to throw in the idea of, like, she might be able to take him in a game of hoops. And they just show. And of course, they show them playing basketball as B roll. And she takes a shot and he's like, all right. And Lets it go and she misses everything. And then he goes up and just one armed tomahawks at Dr. J. Still up for debate. Who won their first meeting? Come get the out of here. That guy won 10 nothing. We gotta. We gotta stop.
- [78:59]
Brady
You're caught up in your heavy hooping right now.
- [79:01]
John Holmberg
Now I'm just sick and tired of this whole, like, they're even. We're equal. No, we're not. When it comes to that stuff, you do a whole bunch of stuff better than us. And if we ever said it's up for debate, who made the better cake? Come on. She did. It's up for debate. Who wrecked the car into the mailbox? We know who did it. The giant, hulking black guy didn't lose to the frail white woman in a game of basketball. Especially if that was their first date. Little stereotypical on his part to drag him go play some ball. Like that's. Maybe take her to a dinner or something. But he took her to a basketball court and that's where they met. And they played one on one. And so was DeAndre maybe a little bit softer yet, but even DeAndre could manage his way around a white woman. And I say that at basketball and in life. Please. And then she's.
- [79:55]
Guest Female
He says he let me win.
- [79:57]
John Holmberg
Like, just stop this part of the story. Let's get to the rat killing. Why did you get double charged by the. By the gym?
- [80:05]
Brett
Did she need the gym?
- [80:06]
John Holmberg
No, she looked great. Oh, okay. They both did that. Which would made me. Made me realize, oh, she's in great shape now. If she showed Brady and this lady, except for debate, who won there for. I'd still be like, Brady probably won that. But she's in great shape. She might have, you know, it might have been close. Might have been close. Okay. I mean, if it's Stephen Hawking and her, they met on the basketball court, like, that's mean. And it's up for debate. Who won?
- [80:30]
Guest Female
He says he let me.
- [80:31]
John Holmberg
All right. Let the have a few points before I poured it on. Sure, she can beat Stephen Hawking again. She's not beating this dude. I mean, he was. He looked like, you know, Derrick Henry and then just effortlessly dunks it. I'm like, come on, we've got to stop this silliness where we. We don't call out what's real. Like she actually kind of went on gone. He says, like, no, you know, you got your ass handed to you. There's no reason to put it in the news story.
- [81:05]
Brady
It just reminds me a little bit of that Charlie Sheen documentary where he and his dad beat Michael Jordan, Right? Well, kind of.
- [81:12]
John Holmberg
And sort of a bad battle of the network stars. And he did it tongue in cheek. He knows if he and Michael went one on one. Come on. And it was a metaphor if you watch the documentary for him, saying, we felt great about ourselves. Now granted, it was a silly, fun thing, but then my life fell apart. And I watched Michael Jordan hit a game winning championship shot in his sixth championship. Because from that to the day I watched him hit against the Utah Jazz, I realized he kept going and I, I went crazy. But at one point, they were equal celebrity and Charlie blew it. That was the whole metaphor of that. He never walked around going, I beat Michael Jordan once. He was like, I had a great day where Michael Jordan and I were equals in the eyes of people. They were there to see them, the Sheens, as much as they were to see Michael. And then a few years later, there's Michael getting his six championship ring and Charlie's got eights. I mean, somebody took a better route. But no news. Guess it's debatable whether Mr. Sheen actually got the best of Mr. Jordan. No, we all know what happened there. Don't do that.
- [82:19]
Brady
Fair and square, man.
- [82:20]
John Holmberg
I hate that wink and a nod to like, I'm just saying this so you don't turn into a C word. If this true story would have, like, the real story would have been like, they met on the basketball court where clearly the black guy just hammered her. 11 0. I mean, they, they played probably games where you play with a girl and you give them 10. I used to do that with Megan all the time. We played basketball years ago. We play on dunk courts. And I'd play, I'd have to play full court. She didn't. So I would have to get the ball and run it all the way to the other end. And she. All she had to do was hang around her side. And I was only allowed one shot on the other end. If I missed it automatically she got and I started her 10 to 1. That was. Or 10 to nothing. That was it. All she had to do was score one point and win. And I've never seen celebrating like I've seen the one time she just threw it in the air and it went in and it was like 11 to 9. I'm like, you got me. I won.
- [83:11]
Guest Female
Take that.
- [83:12]
John Holmberg
I'm like, are you kidding? You're proud of this? This is embarrassing. I gotta run all the way down there. And if I miss, I gotta wait for you to come get it before I can start running back. And this is okay, I beat him.
- [83:24]
Guest Female
Two out of three.
- [83:25]
John Holmberg
Like, ugh. Pool basketball was always a rule that I had to take my last shot diving in off the diving board again. Started 10 to 1, 10 to nothing. And then, and then she could just take that. If I missed it. Dunk it right there.
- [83:39]
Guest Female
I got you all three games.
- [83:41]
John Holmberg
Like, I have a lot more work to do. It's unclear whether or not the hulking African American destroyed the young white blonde basketball. No, it's not. You could have shown me pictures of just their heads. Who wins a basketball game? No one picks her. But there's Gary Harper. Isn't it cute to make them think they're even?
- [84:04]
Brady
Did they not pay their membership or.
- [84:06]
John Holmberg
No, they paid it and they got double charged. Since the end of the story was actually. Well, now there's a news story right there. They actually solved some problems. Why we had to. To sav her ego for a few seconds.
- [84:17]
Brett
Why did you assume they didn't pay their bill?
- [84:19]
John Holmberg
Yeah, that was kind of.
- [84:19]
Brett
Come on, what's going on here?
- [84:21]
Brady
I can't help it.
- [84:24]
John Holmberg
Well, he's too busy putting salve on the wounds from that girl kicking his ass on the court. Yeah, he wouldn't, he wouldn't look and I wouldn't pay any bills either. If, if a white woman beat me at basketball, I'd be on the court all the time. I wouldn't go to work anymore. I wouldn't pay a bill until I'm like, okay, I'm ready. I need this rematch for all mankind. You know, ladies have done that since the Billie Jean King Bobby Riggs game where a 57 year old drunk barely lost to the. One of the best tennis players in female history. In her prime. By the way, keep away. A month earlier, he beat the best female tennis player in the world Handily. Just didn't get the attention. Margaret Court and Billy what's his name, Bobby Riggs play. And he kicked her ass like 6, 2, 6 1. He's 58, 59 years old and an absolute drunk. And they, they called it the battle of the sexes. And Billie Jean beat him. And it was like, it's a monumental achievement in female sports. And you're like, it is.
- [85:31]
Brady
Look at some of the other bets that he took. Oh, and stuff that he did was.
- [85:37]
John Holmberg
He was going broke. He needed 50 grand a pop and he was willing to blow chairs on the court. Yes, he would play and put chairs on the court.
- [85:45]
Guest Female
And women like, we'll show you who's even like stop.
- [85:47]
Brady
They can hit the chair and a.
- [85:49]
John Holmberg
Point would be over. Well into his 50s they're at the prime of their. This is the biggest thing that Billie Jean King still raves about it.
- [86:00]
Guest Female
Such a huge moment for women's sports.
- [86:02]
John Holmberg
What this is why they admire Amelia Earhart so much. They won't admit how it ended. They're delusional and you know and the worst part was the black guy who clearly won the basketball game wasn't interviewed going ah, she's full of killed her out there. They interviewed her.
- [86:21]
Guest Female
You know he says he let me win.
- [86:24]
John Holmberg
Shut up, knobs. Anyway, sorry, women. Yeah, I go on a problem with one of our members. Yeah, she thinks she beat me a basketball. Anyway I was paying some bills. Notice we got double charged.
- [86:37]
Guest Female
That's not what this is about. This is about me beating you in the court.
- [86:40]
John Holmberg
Nobody believes it. Pipe down about that didn't happen. I was trying to you I let you have a few.
- [86:49]
Guest Female
Is that all the the only reason you let me win.
- [86:52]
John Holmberg
That's the only reason I like you. You think your conversations are good. No.
- [87:00]
Brady
Get in the hellcat.
- [87:01]
John Holmberg
Yeah, if I'd have done it getting the hellcat and shut your mouth.
- [87:05]
Brett
Keep it up. We ain't going on a Carnival cruise. That's all I'm gonna say.
- [87:08]
John Holmberg
Do you want to go out right now? Yeah. Cancel the Carnival cruise. We you ain't seeing Alaska.
- [87:14]
Brett
Change the damn battery in the smoke alarm.
- [87:16]
John Holmberg
Let's go on to court right now and I won't let you win. And let's show you what will happen then go to the news and say what went on. Don't make me look like a jackass.
- [87:25]
Guest Female
I thought we were.
- [87:28]
John Holmberg
I did it so's I could you and it worked.
- [87:35]
Guest Female
It's all I am to you.
- [87:37]
John Holmberg
That's right. Now we're getting some somewhere that would have been great had she done that part of the story. And then Gary Harper talked to him and she's like oh, he says he'd let me win and then just cut to him and go you know I did it because I could try to her and it worked. It was great. I think we that day anyway I getting double charged over here at the eos and just a billing discrepancy. We covered it up. It was great. They were good to us.
- [88:01]
Brady
And who helped you?
- [88:02]
John Holmberg
Oh, you did. Gary Harper. That's right. And who's gonna your girlfriend now? That's you.
- [88:07]
Dale Hellis
Gary Harper.
- [88:08]
John Holmberg
You're the best. What's in your fridge? I gotta Ravage through your kitchen. I'm famished. Best part of those three on your sides is when Gary Harper makes them talk about Gary Harper. At the end, we called the gym and we fixed this transgression. Then we went back to their house and he goes and bangs on their door again. How you doing? Gary Harper, Channel 3. I'm back. Did you fix it? You're goddamn right I fixed it. Let's talk about that now. You had problems with your bills before I called you Gary Harper. That's right. And now that you know me, bills are straight and you have who to thank? Gary Harper, Channel 3. You're the best mother. That's right. Now Gary Harper wants a ham sandwich. Who's gonna make me that? The woman. Of course. And then Gary Harper beat that lady in basketball, like, 14 to 2.
- [88:58]
Dale Hellis
Who won?
- [89:00]
John Holmberg
Who won the game just now? And Gary's got to be single because he would do that to his wife. Who paid for dinner tonight?
- [89:05]
Guest Female
You did, Gary.
- [89:08]
John Holmberg
That's right. Who probably wasn't even gonna eat unless.
- [89:12]
Guest Female
It was for Gary Harper and his awesome generosity.
- [89:17]
John Holmberg
That's right, lady. Gary Harper's on your side.
- [89:22]
Brady
At restaurants in the waiting area.
- [89:25]
John Holmberg
Table. Gary Harper. Who is it? The best table in the house, and it's for Gary Harper. We talked to the hostess and we got a table. You wouldn't be eating tonight if it wasn't for Gary Harper. And here's the bill.
- [89:42]
Guest Female
I hope you had a nice time.
- [89:44]
John Holmberg
I got this. Read the name on the credit card to the lady with me.
- [89:48]
Guest Female
Gary Harper.
- [89:49]
John Holmberg
That's right. And without me paying, what would happen?
- [89:53]
Guest Female
She would go to jail for stealing food.
- [89:56]
John Holmberg
But she's not going to jail because.
- [89:58]
Guest Female
Gary Harper fixed it, paid for everything. Okay. Can I go run your bill now?
- [90:03]
John Holmberg
Gary Harper says yes. Great. The great Gary Harper. He's done that with old people. They stand there.
- [90:11]
Guest Female
It's like you saved me money.
- [90:12]
John Holmberg
How much?
- [90:13]
Guest Female
20 $300 from a crooked construction company.
- [90:17]
John Holmberg
And before that, what was happening?
- [90:19]
Guest Female
They were taking advantage of me.
- [90:21]
John Holmberg
And then what happened?
- [90:22]
Guest Female
Gary Harper came and told them to not do that.
- [90:25]
John Holmberg
And they stopped doing it because they're.
- [90:29]
Guest Female
Afraid of Gary Harper. He's horrifying.
- [90:31]
John Holmberg
That's right.
- [90:32]
Brady
The ones that don't say it don't get the segment, you know?
- [90:35]
John Holmberg
Yeah. We won't air this unless you do my thing. At the end when I come smashing on your door. After I'm back, open the door and praise me.
- [90:44]
Guest Female
What happened, Gary?
- [90:45]
John Holmberg
I fixed it.
- [90:46]
Guest Female
Oh, good.
- [90:46]
John Holmberg
Who fixed it?
- [90:47]
Guest Female
I think you just. You.
- [90:48]
John Holmberg
What's my name. Say it, bitch. Gary Harper.
- [90:54]
Guest Female
You're the best, Gary.
- [90:55]
John Holmberg
That's right. Let's go in your kitchen. I'm famished. I'm starving to death. Getting bigger by the show. Gary Harper got another free meal because he fixed some more losers problems. Because I'm Gary Harper. I'm three on your side. He's so proud of himself. Anyway, sorry. What songs do you have up there?
- [91:11]
Brett
White Zombie, Sleep Token, Power Man, 5000 Tool, Metallica, Judas Priest, Hell yeah. Typo Negative, Summer Breeze for the smelly guy at the game. Cinderella, Nobody's fool for the Parents Getting Grifted. Jane's Addiction, Blue Oyster Cult, Don't Fear the Reaper for the Coffee Company. And there was a bunch of them Skynyrd's. That's Mel for your guy.
- [91:31]
John Holmberg
He's still out there. Somebody thinks that the smell I smelled at the game last night was somebody in the seat the night before. Wrecked it and it stuck to me. But I would have noticed. I got in the car. The first thing I did, smelling myself like, no, it is not me. I don't know, Brett. What do you want to go with? How about I don't want to do Summer Breeze. That takes too long. Nobody's Fooled by Cinderella is not bad. Little post concert psyching rock Tom Keefer. All right. Nah, I don't want to do that one. It's just running through my head. It sounds horrible.
- [92:07]
Brett
After thinking about it.
- [92:08]
Dale Hellis
Yeah.
- [92:09]
John Holmberg
I talked about the chorus. The chorus hit my head and that was the end of it. I don't want to do Skinner either. What about Demon Hunter? I don't know that song. I don't either. Gonna pull it up? Nah. Oh, you know what? We could do Judas Priest because Rob and his boyfriend got married.
- [92:30]
Brett
Oh, they did?
- [92:31]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [92:33]
Brett
You want Turbo or Painkiller?
- [92:35]
John Holmberg
Painkiller's fine. Okay. Because they're going to need some after the honeymoon. All right. You know what I'm talking about. They're going to be getting it all. Yeah. We met him when they came in the studio and his boyfriend was sitting on the couch the whole time. They got married. The lead singer of Judas Priest is married to that?
- [92:54]
Brady
He called me and asked for something.
- [92:55]
John Holmberg
Did he? Yeah. He wanted that C ring back that he gave you. Gently used. We'll do some Turbo lover. I have it right in front of me. Judas Priest. Now betrothed. Sorry, ladies, he's taken. It's Judas Priest. It's 98 KUPD. It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually.
- [93:14]
Brady
No, Membership fees.
- [93:15]
John Holmberg
I have heard enough of this.
- [93:21]
Dale Hellis
Morning sickness.
- [93:23]
John Holmberg
The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Gotta move, man. It's time now for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report and it's brought to you by our friends@allprochade.com if you want to get your shade going and have that sunny section of your yard turned into an outdoor indoor living space, gosh darn it. All you need to do is call allprochade.com and get it done. It's easy as a visit to a website. They'll come by, they'll give you an estimate, give you some planning, take a look at your area and say, you could do this, you could do that. Put a TV here. We'll kill the glare. It's awesome. AllProchade.com get shady like Brady did. It's a beautiful thing. AllProchade.com Brady reported.
- [94:05]
Brady
Good Thursday morning to you, Phoenix.
- [94:07]
John Holmberg
Hello, world. Hi.
- [94:08]
Brady
Happy National Comic Book Day and National One Hit Wonder Day.
- [94:13]
John Holmberg
Oh, first one hit wonder that comes to mind. I have a weird one. Do you have one first one? Yeah, but just boom. First one.
- [94:26]
Brett
Tommy Two Tone.
- [94:27]
Brady
Yeah.
- [94:27]
John Holmberg
Nice. That's yours too. That's impossible.
- [94:30]
Brady
No, mine was Dexie Midnight.
- [94:34]
John Holmberg
Mine's Katrina and the Waves. Walking on Sunshine. Don't know why, but every time someone says one hit wonder, that happens. Aha. A close second. What? Take on Me. Massive seagulls comes up.
- [94:46]
Brett
But they kind of had two.
- [94:47]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [94:48]
Brett
Love song, but you know.
- [94:49]
John Holmberg
Yeah, yeah, there's not. And then like Modern Day. One hit like Return of the Mac. Mark Morrison. Oh, yeah.
- [94:57]
Brady
Butterfly.
- [94:59]
John Holmberg
Yeah. That was. Who's saying that was the name of that crazy, crazy town. That's right.
- [95:05]
Brady
Stuck in the middle with you.
- [95:07]
Brett
Steelers.
- [95:07]
John Holmberg
Wheelers. Steelers. Wheel. That was only one hit.
- [95:10]
Brady
One hit.
- [95:10]
John Holmberg
Anything else?
- [95:11]
Brett
And Jerry Rafferty took off and does.
- [95:12]
John Holmberg
That's who it is. Okay, that's a double hit. Does that count? Because Jerry Rafferty had a couple of pops.
- [95:18]
Brady
I'm Too Sexy in a Big country by Big Country. Yep. Somebody that I used to know.
- [95:26]
John Holmberg
The ones. Yeah. There is a Gaultier. And I thought Gaultier was going to be huge after that.
- [95:31]
Brady
She's so high.
- [95:33]
John Holmberg
Oh, that's how bad. Yeah.
- [95:36]
Brady
Barely breathing.
- [95:38]
John Holmberg
There's the other one. Edwin McCain. Al B. That was a huge hit. Paula Cole.
- [95:43]
Brett
You guys played a bunch.
- [95:44]
John Holmberg
Oh, my God. The Zone was just nothing but one hit wonders. Cowboy mouth. That wasn't a hit.
- [95:49]
Brady
Paula Cole had A cowboy song.
- [95:51]
Brett
Oh, where all the cowboys are songs.
- [95:56]
Brady
How bizarre.
- [95:57]
John Holmberg
How bizarre. I hated that song.
- [95:59]
Brady
My Sharona Ice Cream Paint Job.
- [96:02]
John Holmberg
Yeah, that was a good one. I like that.
- [96:04]
Brett
Call Me maybe.
- [96:06]
John Holmberg
Oh, man.
- [96:07]
Brady
Tub thumping.
- [96:08]
John Holmberg
Did she not have any more hits after the Call Me maybe. Is it Carly Rae Jepsen? Who's the other one that painted Love?
- [96:14]
Guest Female
Put your records on to my favorite song.
- [96:19]
John Holmberg
Go ahead.
- [96:20]
Guest Female
Keep your hair down.
- [96:22]
John Holmberg
I thought she was going to be a superstar and she just died on a vine.
- [96:29]
Brett
Obviously. Rebecca Black. I mean.
- [96:31]
John Holmberg
Wow. That's not true. Rebecca Black. That a was a goof and she has just killed it in the dance.
- [96:36]
Dale Hellis
Right.
- [96:36]
Brett
But not hit wise. She hasn't.
- [96:38]
John Holmberg
Yeah. Yeah. But in her genre. Yeah. If she was going for songs that you know, were popular. But she's done great in that. I don't know if it's EDM or if she just does club music. She's killing it.
- [96:50]
Brady
We say too shy.
- [96:52]
Brett
Hush hush About Tangerine Speedo.
- [96:56]
John Holmberg
No, stop it. Don't. Did you. No, no, no. Okay, good. You son of a. All right. Wonders are fun though. Because that gets to be a fun thing when you're like, there's a good one. There's a good one there. There's. Majority of artists are one hit wonders. Don't. Why? And this wasn't a hit. That doesn't count. Hate that song. Silver Chair has won more Aria awards in Australia than any other band ever. They are one. They are the U2 of Australia.
- [97:29]
Brady
But over here.
- [97:29]
John Holmberg
Yeah, I guess it counts. I. I don't really count a one hit wonder as anything. I mean, if it didn't pop here or whatever. But those guys. And they had two songs. They had an Anna song and it wasn't a huge hit, but they had the other one. Silver Chair. Daniel Johns has written it was a songwriter of the year like six years in a row in Australia.
- [97:46]
Brett
About Meredith Brooks. She only had.
- [97:48]
John Holmberg
Right. Yep. That's a good one. Yeah. Alana Miles.
- [97:55]
Brett
What was hers?
- [97:56]
John Holmberg
Black Velvet. Great song.
- [98:01]
Brady
An octopus doesn't have eight arms. It has six arms and two legs. Two of its limbs work like legs to help it move while the other six grab the food. Other six arms.
- [98:14]
John Holmberg
It's Brady's dream body.
- [98:17]
Brady
It costs.
- [98:17]
John Holmberg
Well with two kidneys. Well, Axelina with a jam.
- [98:25]
Brady
It costs you approximately 21 to 29 cents every year to use your turn signals based on the amount of energy they use.
- [98:34]
John Holmberg
Wait to say it again.
- [98:36]
Brady
Cost you between 21 and 29 cents every year to use your turn signals.
- [98:41]
Brett
Not some of these Assholes out there.
- [98:42]
John Holmberg
Hold on. No, they're saving it.
- [98:44]
Brady
Yeah, they're saving that money cheap.
- [98:46]
John Holmberg
29 cents a year because the battery.
- [98:49]
Brady
Goes dead based on the amount of energy they use and the tiny amount of gas that it takes.
- [98:55]
John Holmberg
No kidding.
- [98:56]
Brett
Not nice. Mesa.
- [98:57]
John Holmberg
Nope.
- [98:58]
Brett
Those old guns.
- [98:59]
John Holmberg
Blue hairs. Nope. Yeah, I'm going around the world.
- [99:01]
Brady
That's two bucks a year.
- [99:03]
John Holmberg
Going around the world.
- [99:04]
Guest Female
To the left.
- [99:07]
Brady
The tallest men in the world are in the Netherlands. Their average height is just over 6ft. The shortest, Indonesia, with an average height of 5 foot 2.
- [99:22]
John Holmberg
Wouldn't make it. Sorry. If you're 5 foot 2 inch man. Textures are asking if Colby Calais is the girl you're thinking of. I don't think so. I don't think that's. I don't know either. I don't said three. She had three. Three word name. I can't remember.
- [99:39]
Brady
The Rapture didn't happen.
- [99:41]
John Holmberg
I know. We noticed that. Thanks. And breaking news. Or it did, Justin.
- [99:47]
Brady
But there's reasons why it didn't happen.
- [99:49]
John Holmberg
Because it's all a bunch.
- [99:50]
Brady
Disappointed Christians say God is delaying the Rapture until the Epstein files are.
- [99:55]
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah, that's probably true. Stop it.
- [100:00]
Brett
He can open them himself.
- [100:01]
John Holmberg
Yeah. Why wouldn't God just reveal. Yeah, we have to. God can't get to that. He's holding off the Rapture until somebody does. What?
- [100:07]
Brett
He doesn't have security clearance or what?
- [100:09]
John Holmberg
Sorry, God, we can't let you in. You don't have the proper credentials. No opening of the Epstein files for God if he comes back. I was gonna come back, but I don't have the. There's new key cards that I didn't ever. I didn't anticipate that.
- [100:25]
Brady
I want to know the number that of people that quit their job and sold their cars.
- [100:30]
John Holmberg
I love it. And are they knocking on doors trying to get that stuff back.
- [100:35]
Brady
So imagine that on Craigslist.
- [100:38]
John Holmberg
No, hey, no. It's mine now.
- [100:40]
Brady
So can we make a deal?
- [100:43]
John Holmberg
Mr. President? God's at the door. Does he want the Epstein files again? Tell him no. Tell that guy to go get. I'm tired of it.
- [100:51]
Brady
So YouGov surveyed 4,000 US adults and asked them the question, if the Rapture were to occur tonight, do you think you'd be more likely to ascend to heaven or to be left behind?
- [101:03]
John Holmberg
Left behind.
- [101:04]
Brady
46% believe they ascend to heaven.
- [101:07]
John Holmberg
You're wrong.
- [101:08]
Brady
18% said left behind me, 36% don't care. Not sure.
- [101:14]
John Holmberg
Almost all of you, if you're going by the book, are Getting left behind if you didn't get that last minute apology and whatever you were thinking about on your drive to work when the North Korean sought police known as your God, know that you were looking at that girl's cans and thought, man, I'd her if she gave me the chance. And you didn't get to go to a priest and apologize, you're probably not going to make it.
- [101:33]
Brady
Someone point out that the rapture could have happened and you're that 46 that think you'd ascend and you didn't.
- [101:40]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [101:40]
Brady
In the last two days it's been.
- [101:42]
John Holmberg
Going on well, so what's the point if the rat didn't make the cut? Brady, if the rapture happened and no one noticed, is it a thing?
- [101:48]
Brady
Yeah.
- [101:49]
John Holmberg
If a rapture fell in the forest and no one went to heaven, did it happen?
- [101:54]
Brady
Yeah, because we haven't heard any close piles. I came home and there's.
- [101:58]
John Holmberg
Because why? Brady, my husband was gone.
- [102:00]
Brady
There's just his outfit.
- [102:02]
John Holmberg
Because life isn't a Casper cartoon. Stuff like that doesn't happen. You're not going to find a pile of clothes at your house someday and be grateful. That's called laundry day and somebody's being a pig at the house, leaving their clothes laying around.
- [102:17]
Brady
According to a survey from aaa.
- [102:20]
John Holmberg
By the way, Corinne Bailey Ray is who I was thinking of finally. Thank you so much. She's like that record sign. Evidently she's huge. And. And jazz and soul stuff now.
- [102:31]
Brady
So the survey from AAA. 96% of American drivers admit to performing at least one aggressive driving behavior in the past year.
- [102:40]
John Holmberg
1:1. I would have.
- [102:43]
Brady
96%.
- [102:44]
John Holmberg
That's. I thought, honestly, a day was what was going to come out of your mouth in a year. Drive. Who are the 4% who drive? Yeah, exactly. Who are the 4% who lie and say it never happens? Never done it. Not in a whole year.
- [102:58]
Brady
Stuff they admitted to, like running red lights, speeding, tailgating, honking and cutting off other vehicles. Do it all.
- [103:06]
John Holmberg
I've had. Yeah, check, check, check. Seven or eight in the last couple days. Wow. Well, no, I just scream at cars that aren't doing it. The guy that was crossing in front of me.
- [103:19]
Brady
The study found that people over 60 and people with household incomes of a hundred thousand dollars or more are most likely to drive aggressively.
- [103:28]
John Holmberg
Yeah. By the way, great one hit wonder just popped in. Wishing well. Terence Trent Darby. Great song. Or whatever his name is.
- [103:36]
Brady
Yes.
- [103:37]
Brett
He had that other one, though.
- [103:38]
John Holmberg
He did have a second song. You're right. And it was actually a pretty cool Song.
- [103:44]
Guest Female
Sign your name.
- [103:45]
Brett
Yes. Yeah. Sign your name, was it?
- [103:47]
Brady
Yeah, that's it.
- [103:48]
John Holmberg
Mambo number five, Lou Bega. The One hit Wonders are flying out. Cherry Popping daddies. Okay, well, try to keep the One Hit wonders good. Squirrel Nut zippers that period.
- [104:02]
Brady
Yeah. Mighty, Mighty Boss Stones had one hit, but whenever.
- [104:05]
John Holmberg
We're talking about the swing era that lasted 18 minutes. What?
- [104:13]
Brett
Some trend for you?
- [104:13]
John Holmberg
Oh, you got it to sign my name. This was a great album. The woman name.
- [104:19]
Brett
Yeah, Sonata Matriarch. Like you put in Terence Trend Darby, and it comes up that thing, the other name.
- [104:29]
John Holmberg
He's done some work. He's transitioned his Wikipedia page. For God's sakes, you can't even search Terence Trent anymore without. And I don't know if Terence Trent is considered dead now. I don't know. But Sonata Banata is no Terence Shrimp Derby. It's hard to. It's hard to follow anymore.
- [104:50]
Brady
Got a guy just located outside. Just outside of Boston, Massachusetts, at a Target. He was walking out with $150 of stolen goods. They went after him, he ran. Police caught up with him too long. And then they. When they caught up with him, as they're approaching him, he was swallowing a sandwich bag full of white powder and then another sandwich bag full of blue powder, cocaine and fentanyl.
- [105:20]
John Holmberg
So he swallowed both pills?
- [105:22]
Brady
He's trying. Yeah.
- [105:25]
John Holmberg
He's gonna see everything and nothing at the same time. Is he dead?
- [105:29]
Brady
Nope.
- [105:29]
John Holmberg
He.
- [105:29]
Brady
He didn't get him down in time there pretty much pull him out. Tevin Haywood was the guy's name. He's facing multiple charges. And I got a fun event for you if you want to go to Denver, Colorado on October 5th.
- [105:47]
John Holmberg
Okay. Good. Transition right out of that drug store.
- [105:53]
Guest Female
That guy's dead. Probably. Hey, I've got a fun thing you folks want to try and you're in Denver this weekend.
- [105:58]
Brady
He's not dead. He's going to jail.
- [106:00]
Guest Female
Yeah, but you could step over Trevion's body and go up to the Rockies and enjoy the next story.
- [106:07]
Brady
The Braless Run in Denver is happening October 5th.
- [106:11]
John Holmberg
Oh, hippies will show up to that. That sounds like a good idea.
- [106:14]
Brady
Local breweries are hosting their first annual Bra Free run.
- [106:17]
John Holmberg
Liberal Hippie run is what this is. They do it every day in Denver. It's gross. Say two local pubs.
- [106:23]
Brady
Yeah, yeah, it's gross. And you'll get a. A free drink when you sign up. It's 20 fee.
- [106:28]
John Holmberg
One of the pubs. Title nine.
- [106:29]
Brady
No, none of the pre race drink. An Emporium Brewery. Then you have A yoga warm up. And they call it the TT Trot.
- [106:40]
John Holmberg
Ew.
- [106:41]
Brady
No, it's not. It's the T word.
- [106:45]
John Holmberg
Oh, I see. Oh, I thought. Yeah, I thought you did something childish and gross.
- [106:48]
Brett
It's just sloppy.
- [106:51]
John Holmberg
Yeah, it's just a Colorado liberal hippie granola smoking, yoga people. Yeah. No.
- [106:57]
Brady
Well, the.
- [106:58]
John Holmberg
Yeah, they stink.
- [106:59]
Brady
Fundraising events. All the proceeds will go towards Polite Tumor, which supports young adults ages between 18 and 39 in Colorado who are diagnosed with breast cancer.
- [107:11]
John Holmberg
Polite tumor.
- [107:12]
Brady
Polite.
- [107:13]
John Holmberg
Well, if it's for a good cause, but I'm still not. You know, you think of a braless run, you're like, ooh. And then you see who actually signs up. It's.
- [107:21]
Brady
I'm sure they'll have pixelated pictures.
- [107:24]
John Holmberg
That's like.
- [107:24]
Brett
We've talked about, like those nudist cruises and all that kind of stuff.
- [107:27]
John Holmberg
But it's different when hippie flapjack are out rather than old ladies. Like, these are young ladies who's let their breasts sink. Bras are great because they make. They mask a lot of that sloppiness that happens. Some of you ladies look like you've got empty water balloons and stuff or wet socks hanging off your shoulders. And you angered our one Terence Trent Darby fan. No. Terrence Trent Darby, now Samandra Maitreya, has not transitioned genders. He's just changed his name to reflect the profound spiritual psychological rebirth which is described as the dying of his former identity to be replaced in a new spirit of consciousness. He explained them. It's still gay. After intense pain, I meditated and got a new name. It sounds. You know what it is? It's you're crazy. Yeah. You're either that or you're crisis. You're running from the law or you're crazy when you've got to just erase yourself from yourself. Nobody else was mad at Terence Trent Darby go. I just wish he'd go away and become something else. He did that.
- [108:29]
Brady
Got two quick radio videos. The first one for you, John. It's the brown trout of India.
- [108:41]
John Holmberg
Oh, all right. Look at that turd floating in their drinking water. Look at that. At that massive log. And they're filming it because they're taken aback by its incredible gigantic.
- [108:57]
Brett
Why are we watching this?
- [108:59]
John Holmberg
Because Brady's here. Jeez. He loves dookie. Really? Yeah. Yes. It's not just the floating.
- [109:13]
Guest Female
Come on.
- [109:13]
Brady
This is a show's activity with his is poop.
- [109:15]
John Holmberg
I'm with you. Can you class it up a little bit, please?
- [109:17]
Brady
That is a free poo.
- [109:19]
John Holmberg
That is right. And it's like taking a picture of a toilet full of poop. It's disgusting.
- [109:23]
Brady
That's why.
- [109:23]
John Holmberg
But if someone was swimming under something, Brett would show that. You just showed a turd. That's all you did. You just showed a turd.
- [109:32]
Brady
Nazis.
- [109:33]
John Holmberg
Yeah, we are kind of. It has to be entertaining, at least. Can't just be a floating.
- [109:36]
Brady
That's kind of.
- [109:37]
John Holmberg
No, it's not.
- [109:37]
Brady
No, it's not.
- [109:38]
John Holmberg
You know it's not. It's like taking a picture of your dog's crap in the backyard.
- [109:43]
Brady
Supposed to be disgusting.
- [109:46]
John Holmberg
If you met Brett, have you seen what he eats? He's got people eating it. You just showed a turd. Just call it what it is. Jimmy Kimmel. Take ownership of it.
- [109:54]
Brady
That's as edgy as you get.
- [109:55]
Guest Female
I got scattered picture of a turd. No people near it. Nobody's even close to getting sick or anything. Turds floating. It's like Kirby's toilet. He never flushes either.
- [110:10]
John Holmberg
Look at that pipe snake. I told you not to bring it up again, man. Come on. Sorry, curbs.
- [110:15]
Guest Female
You gotta hit that button.
- [110:18]
Brady
The last one's a quality yoga pose.
- [110:21]
John Holmberg
Okay, that's pretty.
- [110:23]
Brady
It's called the bleeding heart.
- [110:24]
John Holmberg
Okay, so she's. Oh, God. This is somebody up, like, on their back, up on their shoulders with their butt straight up in the air. And their yoga pants are in between their butt cheeks. And she's making her butt. That's impressive. It's made a heart because she's wearing. Her butt cheeks are in good shape, so they're curved. Right. And her butthole is.
- [110:42]
Brett
What are you saying?
- [110:43]
John Holmberg
She got a crank up there? No, I'm saying it looks Right. Her vulva. Is that her vulva or is it her b hole? Something's pulsating in her tight yoga pants. She looks to be in great shape. By the way.
- [110:56]
Brady
That was before she laid the turd in that river.
- [110:59]
John Holmberg
Okay, he's gonna. He's gonna grandstand on it now. He's digging his heels in on this terrible video.
- [111:04]
Brady
Brett, what do you got?
- [111:05]
John Holmberg
I'll take care of this. What's the matter with you? And then you hire yourself. All right. No, I've got somebod charge of that. And please let a professional enter. Brett, what do you got?
- [111:15]
Brett
How about some Gilbert goonery for us?
- [111:17]
John Holmberg
Uhoh. Oh, the talents. Oh, God. Didn't we. Oh, my God. We saw something like this. Something like this. There's a young teen boy having doggy style relations with a very cute blonde girl. And behind the young teen boy is another young Teen boy just pounding the life out of his friend Kaden and Braden. That did look very Gilbert, too. Their little swoopy blonde hair. And show me that again.
- [111:41]
Brett
And all the.
- [111:44]
John Holmberg
Oh, man, look at him. Look at how excited the third guy is in the human centipede. And the girl's loving it, like she's got two friends. And, man, if it wasn't for that guy, my eyes hurt. Your teens. And you know what's the best thing? Brady is like, parents. Like, mom.
- [112:03]
Guest Female
Mine's not interested in it.
- [112:05]
John Holmberg
That's what's going on with all these parents, Gilbert. The other kids do it. My kid's really good. That was homecoming and, like, nine of the rooms. Kirby. I'm not saying was part of it, but that happened 10, 12 times at the dance that Kirby was at on Saturday.
- [112:20]
Brady
No way.
- [112:21]
John Holmberg
Yes, it did. Why don't you want to believe that teenagers are gross? You can't. And they turn into this. Here's adults doing weird stuff. There's a woman in the corner of a white room about to jump a naked man. Oh, she kicks him from behind. It's like she was gonna jump over him. Instead, she just runs up behind him and kicks him square in his exposed testicles. Oh, here's another angle from another part of the room. She's going to do it again, this time with the left foot. Brandon Aubrey got him dead center. It's all slow mo. And that was going on at Kirby's place, too. High school dances are filled with dirty, dirty things. And as a parent, you must admit that.
- [113:07]
Brett
Now we know the rapture didn't happen because this video appeared.
- [113:11]
John Holmberg
Okay, put your seatbelt on, Father, for I have sinned. Starts with a movie clip.
- [113:17]
Dale Hellis
Oh, there's a.
- [113:19]
John Holmberg
There's a priest and a nun. The nun is performing the holy sacrament on. Oh, geez. There's a. There's a priest. Bang. And an ugly nun.
- [113:30]
Brady
That's the wrong exclamation, I should say.
- [113:34]
John Holmberg
It's the pontiff and the ugliest nun I've ever seen, and that's saying something. And she seems to be enjoying the work of the Lord here. Gross. I didn't care if they're nuns and priests. I don't want to see these two doing it anyway. Are they in a church? It's got a. Oh, man.
- [114:01]
Brady
Are they speaking Latin?
- [114:02]
John Holmberg
Oh, no. It's funny because Brady never gets upset with those things, but that one clearly was like. You didn't like that? I could see it on your face.
- [114:14]
Brady
Not my hot category.
- [114:16]
John Holmberg
No, it's not hot.
- [114:16]
Brett
I mean, it's no poo flowing, floating in the river.
- [114:19]
John Holmberg
But no, that's.
- [114:21]
Brady
There's nothing entertaining about that.
- [114:23]
John Holmberg
That's kind of awesome. How did you get the other nuns to walk by? That was my favorite part of the video is that other nuns got some stuff to do and they had to walk past that. That also happened at the homecoming dance. There was a lot of bad things.
- [114:36]
Brady
A lot of activities going on there.
- [114:38]
John Holmberg
Every parent. Oh, my kid doesn't like. Like they don't like going out on dates or they're not sexual and they don't drink and do drugs. And then these videos come up like, well, how come I keep seeing this then? These homecoming kids, these 18 year olds that are just pounding away on each other. Other freaky sex free generation that they don't even have like a barrier of it happening. Oh, yeah. Another texter says, guys, the rapture could have happened.
- [115:05]
Brady
90% of places make you wait 24.
- [115:07]
John Holmberg
To 48 hours before reporting a missing person. Yeah, but if there was like a rash of them, somebody we know, somebody would say, like, we're not really reporting the whole building. Come on. I don't think I know anybody that would. That would go. I don't.
- [115:28]
Brett
What about stubbings?
- [115:29]
Dale Hellis
Aren't they really religious?
- [115:31]
John Holmberg
No, not at. No, not even close. No. Mark's goes to church and stuff, but that's just to say he's sorry. Oh, okay. Yeah.
- [115:39]
Brady
I can't.
- [115:40]
John Holmberg
I can't. I don't know a single person that's. My hood's full of Mormons, but I don't know.
- [115:45]
Brett
Brady be the closest. I think that I know.
- [115:47]
John Holmberg
No, he's not even close. I mean, he's the closest comment alone. Yeah. Even just like in the glove section.
- [115:54]
Dale Hellis
The turd video.
- [115:55]
John Holmberg
The turd video and the turd video. Yep.
- [115:58]
Brady
That would be on your greatest hits. That was a shame.
- [116:01]
John Holmberg
You were making fun of Indian people. You were judging.
- [116:05]
Brady
You touched a Jewish woman.
- [116:07]
John Holmberg
Yeah. Your manhandled a Jewish woman on Saturday, man. Gluttony might have been a problem throughout your life.
- [116:15]
Brady
I didn't realize what I was saying.
- [116:17]
John Holmberg
I didn't see. There they go. He's doing his apology. But if. Oh, here we go. Jimmy, if it were to happen that you didn't get your apology and you're staying with us. I don't. I don't know anybody who's going. This whole building stays. Not a one. There's people who think they're going, but they're.
- [116:37]
Brady
You don't think, Scott, the pot Has a shot.
- [116:39]
John Holmberg
No, no. Nope. The stuff. No, the stuff he thinks keeps him out anyway. All right, wait a minute. You can't think, huh? Oh, he's out. All right, good. There you go. That's. That's good. All right, that's enough. We'll just play four. Yeah, just keep doing. We got ours out. He's fine. Come on. He's got the turret on his brain. There you go. That's it. There goes your Brady report. It's 98. It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership. I have heard enough of this.
- [117:15]
Dale Hellis
Morning sickness.
- [117:17]
John Holmberg
The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Stop cussing, you bastards. It's time now to talk to Eric Delesandro. I like this. This is Brett feels comfortable with your name. There's an apostrophe in it. You're at stand up live tonight and tonight only, standuplive.com. if you want to see Eric D', Alessandro, you can go down there. I'm seeing it. We're making fun a little bit, I guess. Making fun. Oh, go ahead. Let me have it. Maybe sort of jealousy kicked in, I was gonna say. Yeah, that's what it is. That you have a man bun in the picture of yourself. But now it's just a striking head of hair.
- [117:55]
Eric D'Alessandro
You know, the man bun, I think, gets a bad reputation from the people who have stolen it, you know, because.
- [118:02]
John Holmberg
Who stole it?
- [118:02]
Eric D'Alessandro
Because who you're picturing with a man bun? You're picturing a guy with like smelling salts or CrossFit.
- [118:09]
John Holmberg
Right.
- [118:10]
Eric D'Alessandro
Who's the kind of guy that has a man bun?
- [118:12]
John Holmberg
Who are you thinking about? Well, I'm thinking yoga pants, sort of almost annoying hippie guy. Yeah. But that's not me. I mean, look at me.
- [118:17]
Eric D'Alessandro
I'm a douchebag from Staten Island.
- [118:18]
John Holmberg
I'm not.
- [118:19]
Brady
You know, you don't do yoga.
- [118:20]
John Holmberg
But no matter what. I've done yoga. Yeah. No matter what the category douchebag usually attached to it when man bun. Because you're right. The man bun has been. Yeah, it's. It's been co opted to a douchebag society.
- [118:32]
Eric D'Alessandro
And that's not fair, you know?
- [118:34]
John Holmberg
I mean, there are plenty of decent man bun men out there.
- [118:37]
Eric D'Alessandro
Well, okay. You look like stone Cold. Can I just.
- [118:39]
John Holmberg
Oh, no, that's fine.
- [118:39]
Eric D'Alessandro
Can I look at you? And that's a good. That's a good one.
- [118:42]
John Holmberg
Is it?
- [118:43]
Eric D'Alessandro
Yeah, for me it is. He was my hero, you know.
- [118:46]
John Holmberg
Then you're welcome. Would you like Anybody sign some autographs? No. I mean, I. Yeah, but, I mean, I. I can't help it. Yeah. You know what I mean? I mean, you know, I have to look like this. And so you. You had a choice to get into the man bun pool, and you did it.
- [119:00]
Eric D'Alessandro
You know, man, if I knew it was gonna start off like this, I would have had a better excuse, because I have. If you want to go down the road in my hair, we could talk for three hours.
- [119:07]
John Holmberg
That's incredible. What you have is incredible and unfair to people who don't have any.
- [119:11]
Brady
It's the best weave.
- [119:13]
John Holmberg
It's a pretty good piece. Yeah. It's the greatest hair.
- [119:16]
Eric D'Alessandro
I've seen those ones when they, like. They, like, glue them on. On Instagram. This is one of those.
- [119:20]
John Holmberg
I thought about it. Yeah. I mean, come on. I would totally.
- [119:23]
Eric D'Alessandro
I don't blame anyone or make fun of anybody's hair piece or anything, because I always say, if that happened to me, I'm going to turkey.
- [119:30]
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah. You couldn't live the way I live. You look at music down on me because of my hair situation.
- [119:36]
Eric D'Alessandro
When did you start losing your hair?
- [119:37]
John Holmberg
How old? I started to know I had terrible hair. Okay. So it was, like. Just was wavy. You know what's really weird? Like, he's good. Yeah. Yeah. But when. If I was, like, 16 now and had my hair today, it would have been awesome because it was just messy.
- [119:50]
Brady
No hair product needed.
- [119:51]
John Holmberg
I couldn't comb it. It did whatever it wanted. And then I started to notice I had pretty good u turns at 18. And I'm like, oh, it's. This isn't. And then I realized early on, I'm like, you're not gonna win this. Yeah. So let's get ahead of it. So I started shaving it off. Mid 20s. Okay. And I grew it back a couple times, but then I was just like, this is ridiculous. So I just go with this. It's much easier.
- [120:13]
Eric D'Alessandro
But how often do you.
- [120:14]
Brady
And then he got his nose job.
- [120:17]
John Holmberg
I added my nose.
- [120:18]
Eric D'Alessandro
Got nice teeth, too.
- [120:19]
John Holmberg
Okay. Thank you. Yeah. I've been working on it. Yeah. And right before I die, it should be perfect. But the. Yeah, the. The hair thing is. Yeah, it was. It was never a problem for me. But I understand. If I had your hair, I'd be very upset if it abandoned me.
- [120:31]
Eric D'Alessandro
Yeah. It's. It's just like. I mean, I guess it's an insecurity. It is my security blanket. If I. If I lost it, I probably would just, you know, give up.
- [120:40]
John Holmberg
You would.
- [120:41]
Eric D'Alessandro
I don't know.
- [120:41]
John Holmberg
You would kill yourself. I think that'd be it for me. I'd pack it up. It's like, you know, it's.
- [120:47]
Eric D'Alessandro
It's part of my limbs. What would Uncle Jesse do without his hair? It's part of his. Part of his whole identity.
- [120:53]
John Holmberg
But if Stamos, he. You know what I thought was funny? Speaking to Uncle Jesse. Oh, I know where you're going when. Cool. Yeah. Got cancer. Come on, bro. Instead of the sympath, this was the least friendly thing he could do. He put a bald cap on and Photoshopped it and. Yeah, and then tried to make it, but he was never actually really going to shave his head for his best friend.
- [121:11]
Eric D'Alessandro
That's crazy.
- [121:11]
John Holmberg
It's mean.
- [121:12]
Eric D'Alessandro
That's so crazy.
- [121:13]
John Holmberg
It's just mean. If you and I were best friends and I was going through that, would you shave your head?
- [121:17]
Eric D'Alessandro
I would at least do a better Photoshop job. Or at least get someone on Fiverr or something.
- [121:23]
John Holmberg
Exactly. It's not fair to, like, put a cap on and go, I'm with you. I'm like, you're not with anything.
- [121:28]
Eric D'Alessandro
No, seriously, that wasn't. I. I mean, and then Dave Coulier was being nice about it. It was, like, stuck up for him.
- [121:32]
John Holmberg
But, yeah, that was horrible.
- [121:33]
Eric D'Alessandro
What else was he gonna say?
- [121:34]
John Holmberg
Yeah, don't do it is what he should. Just don't even, like. Yeah, come on. I would have done it from that.
- [121:39]
Brady
Mullet that he had for years. He understands.
- [121:41]
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah, But, I mean, look, he was going through cancer treatment, so you're trying to act like you're in his camp.
- [121:46]
Eric D'Alessandro
Is he okay now? Does anybody know?
- [121:48]
John Holmberg
Geez, that's a sad statement of it all, isn't it? Oh, God. Nobody even checked in.
- [121:51]
Dale Hellis
I know.
- [121:52]
John Holmberg
I think he is.
- [121:53]
Eric D'Alessandro
Can anybody check on Mr. Woodchuck, please?
- [121:57]
John Holmberg
We need to know if Joey's all right. I. I've lost track. I don't know. I don't know. Gosh, I hope so. What if he died, like, a couple weeks?
- [122:04]
Eric D'Alessandro
The doctor was just like, cut it out.
- [122:07]
John Holmberg
And that was it.
- [122:09]
Eric D'Alessandro
All right, we're having fun here.
- [122:10]
John Holmberg
You're doing full house jokes and I'm laughing. Something's wrong with both of us. Yeah, baby. Eric. My audience, Ericandro, is at Stand Up Live this week. Who is your audience? Who are we looking at?
- [122:19]
Eric D'Alessandro
I have no idea.
- [122:20]
John Holmberg
Because you're a married guy.
- [122:21]
Eric D'Alessandro
We're all over the place.
- [122:22]
John Holmberg
Yeah. Who would you want your audience to be? You can control it. Who are you aiming at?
- [122:27]
Eric D'Alessandro
Anybody who has attention span Over a minute.
- [122:32]
John Holmberg
Okay. Because that's not too unreasonable.
- [122:34]
Brady
I don't know.
- [122:36]
John Holmberg
You're not getting me. I'm. Right now. But I'm just saying it seems like you're getting a crowd.
- [122:39]
Eric D'Alessandro
Honestly. Anyone, Man, I think every comedian believes they can play any room. I do believe that. I have people that come with their parents, their grandparents. I have people that come that are dating and are younger. Got a big gay following out here.
- [122:53]
John Holmberg
Okay. That's the hair, so.
- [122:54]
Eric D'Alessandro
It's the hair.
- [122:55]
John Holmberg
Yeah. So. Really, anybody, man, I'm ever dabbled in that world?
- [122:58]
Eric D'Alessandro
The gay world?
- [122:59]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [123:00]
Eric D'Alessandro
No.
- [123:00]
John Holmberg
I've hung around a lot of hairdressers. I can tell. I.
- [123:06]
Eric D'Alessandro
You know, it's one of those things where I've always been very, like, I love it. If anybody want a woman has never called me gorgeous. Gay men have constantly called me going, I'll take that any day of the week.
- [123:19]
Brett
So, hey, they're buying tickets. What the hell?
- [123:21]
John Holmberg
A woman has never told me that she would give me her car if I called her daddy. But I've had a gay guy do it. It's an awesome feeling, right? I mean, come on. Anybody?
- [123:31]
Eric D'Alessandro
Nobody's. Open the car door for me, so, you know. You want to give me your timeshare.
- [123:35]
John Holmberg
I wish I was gay. I was born this way. I can't even. It would be so much easier.
- [123:41]
Eric D'Alessandro
I think being gay now, though, has lost a little bit of its. Its, you know, a little bit of its edge.
- [123:45]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [123:45]
Eric D'Alessandro
It's not as much as I feel like everybody's. It's. It's got to be more exciting. When it was more unacceptable, maybe.
- [123:52]
John Holmberg
Yeah, it was kind of taboo.
- [123:53]
Eric D'Alessandro
Maybe for them right now, it's, like, more private.
- [123:56]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [123:56]
Eric D'Alessandro
I feel like fun.
- [123:57]
John Holmberg
You and I are gay. Like, let's think about this. We go out.
- [124:00]
Eric D'Alessandro
All right, let's try it.
- [124:02]
John Holmberg
Yeah. Let's give it a run. Stone Cold and the Hairdo out there playing some Stone Cold Uncle Jesse.
- [124:07]
Eric D'Alessandro
The 90s. The 90s maltour.
- [124:10]
John Holmberg
Next thing you know, we're playing some hoops. We go out, we grab some food. You blow me, I blow you. We take a nap and we combine our money. Oh, my God, it's spectacular.
- [124:20]
Brady
Crack open some wine coolers.
- [124:21]
John Holmberg
If it wasn't for all of the hair. Yeah. The actual problem is the attraction would be the hair. Probably got extra hair in places nobody needs.
- [124:28]
Eric D'Alessandro
How's your ass?
- [124:29]
John Holmberg
Oh, great.
- [124:30]
Eric D'Alessandro
Oh, you got it. You got a hairy ass.
- [124:31]
John Holmberg
No, it's really clean. Like, my head.
- [124:33]
Eric D'Alessandro
Mine's really hairy.
- [124:35]
John Holmberg
Yeah, See that? You're out. Yep, I'm out. Is that a bear?
- [124:37]
Eric D'Alessandro
Is that. Does that constitute.
- [124:38]
Brady
Yeah, that's fair.
- [124:39]
John Holmberg
I know. I don't know. This got weird.
- [124:42]
Brady
Grizzly. Grizzly.
- [124:44]
Eric D'Alessandro
I mean, you really hammered down. All right, let's know.
- [124:46]
John Holmberg
Seriously, let's play this out. It's funny because it's like, it's become so, like. You're right. It's not taboo anymore, which is great. I find it absolutely complimentary because, of course, it's like being hit on by a gay guy means. Oh, okay. So if this doesn't work out over here, I have options.
- [125:02]
Eric D'Alessandro
There's.
- [125:02]
John Holmberg
There's always the B league, but, yeah, I can always place. Literally, I can always play in the Italian NBA. It's a thing. That's what I'll it is the B league. Yeah. It's not. Not everything is out, even though I think that's pretty much done. But. Yeah. When you have a gay following, do you feel like they're trying to, like, recruit? Yeah, No, I don't. They are, though. That's actually true.
- [125:24]
Eric D'Alessandro
They're incredibly vocal, which again, I don't really. I don't know if they think they can convert.
- [125:31]
John Holmberg
Yeah, they do.
- [125:31]
Eric D'Alessandro
A straight man.
- [125:32]
John Holmberg
It's a man.
- [125:32]
Eric D'Alessandro
Well, that's just wild to me.
- [125:35]
John Holmberg
You. You. You think that there's a girl that's not interested in you that you could win over?
- [125:40]
Eric D'Alessandro
I was never that kind of guy.
- [125:41]
John Holmberg
Really?
- [125:41]
Eric D'Alessandro
I was always like, honey, if you're not digging this, there's something wrong with you.
- [125:44]
John Holmberg
That was very gay. Exactly. Honey, please. No wonder you have a father.
- [125:51]
Eric D'Alessandro
The girls were jealous of my hair.
- [125:52]
John Holmberg
Yeah, well, yeah, that's true. That's true. Yeah. If I looked like. Yeah, if I looked great, I'd be like, next. Yeah, I know.
- [125:58]
Eric D'Alessandro
Honey, your blouse does not match.
- [126:00]
John Holmberg
So I wouldn't be, you know. Yeah, okay. It makes sense. I get it. But if you ever had to pick your own audience, it would be like, I don't know.
- [126:08]
Eric D'Alessandro
You do. Would you pick an audience for the show?
- [126:10]
John Holmberg
Yeah, completely.
- [126:10]
Eric D'Alessandro
Oh, okay.
- [126:11]
John Holmberg
Yeah. I want to get rid of most women over 45. Yeah.
- [126:17]
Eric D'Alessandro
You know, I would just. I don't know, I've noticed that there is maybe, like, I worked really hard to make my. My audience more diverse. Try to talk about things that are. Because I, you know, I talked about being Italian, being from Staten island, and I feel like that I'm very proud of those things. But I do, do feel like a one trick pony after a while.
- [126:38]
John Holmberg
I want.
- [126:38]
Eric D'Alessandro
I am more than this.
- [126:39]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [126:40]
Eric D'Alessandro
I think people think also in the beginning, they were like, oh, if I go to see you, it's gonna be me up there doing like Joe Pesci impressions. Guys, I'm talking about life. You could come see me. I could. I've performed everywhere and so that's all I really care about is trying to, like, win over everyone. I've opened up for people in all different cities and I've, I've, I've had to win over every, Every crowd.
- [127:00]
John Holmberg
What audience do you get nervous? Like, oh, boy.
- [127:03]
Eric D'Alessandro
You know, dude, when you're in stand up comedy, the worst audience.
- [127:07]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [127:07]
Eric D'Alessandro
Is a small audience.
- [127:08]
John Holmberg
Oh, really?
- [127:09]
Eric D'Alessandro
So, like, if I, you know, if I go to, like, if I run into the city and I want to do. Try some new material, I'm just doing a 15 minute spot and there's seven people in there. It's like, well, this is just a waste of time.
- [127:19]
John Holmberg
It's. It's brutal.
- [127:20]
Eric D'Alessandro
It's like, it just feels focus group. It feels stupid.
- [127:23]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [127:23]
Eric D'Alessandro
So, like, I wouldn't. If there's a crowd of just a large crowd, I don't care who it is. I know that I can, can. I can win them over.
- [127:30]
John Holmberg
So the answer to the question, what's the scariest audience to do? Is a small crowd. And that's incorrect. It's a group of people who like country music. That is a horrible, awful. Oh, yeah, you don't want anything. Okay. Okay. It's just if you walk out there and you see hats, you know, you could simplify. Yeah. No. Yeah. Well, you can get. Yeah.
- [127:46]
Brett
They won't understand what you're saying.
- [127:47]
John Holmberg
I don't know.
- [127:48]
Eric D'Alessandro
I don't know if there was a correct answer.
- [127:49]
John Holmberg
I thought the correct answer, I would have said country. You didn't study. That's the problem. We weren't looking. I don't. Yeah, yeah. Well, I had to get you. And, you know, sometimes you're not gonna get them. All right. Yeah. But that's one that every time you're asked, what's the worst audience? It's country music.
- [128:04]
Eric D'Alessandro
I was thinking about. Country is just, It's. Correct me if I'm wrong. It's just the accent right now.
- [128:10]
John Holmberg
It is, yeah, kind of.
- [128:12]
Eric D'Alessandro
But that's the only thing that makes a song quote, unquote, country.
- [128:15]
John Holmberg
Pretty much. Yeah.
- [128:16]
Eric D'Alessandro
Because you could have a harmonica, you could have a banjo, you could have a string section. It's just the chords can be poppy now know, it's just saying like things in a deeper a voice like this instead of just singing regularly and stupid stuff.
- [128:30]
John Holmberg
Yeah. Keep it simple. Yeah. Yeah. Like this song is my. My example for what this is a hit. Show me your fish. I'm like, yeah, it's basically remedial math class.
- [128:47]
Eric D'Alessandro
Yeah.
- [128:48]
John Holmberg
That's all the people of them.
- [128:50]
Eric D'Alessandro
Every pop song is ever being.
- [128:52]
John Holmberg
Oh, sure. But they managed to take for bass. Pro pop music is at least kind of like a wink and a nod, like we know we're being silly. Country. They take themselves serious. Like, America needs me. It's like, no, we don't. Yeah. So I. I'm. I'm against that. All other audiences are great.
- [129:10]
Eric D'Alessandro
I've never, you know, what I've never really had.
- [129:12]
John Holmberg
But if I was you and I'd get on stage and I saw one hat, I would stop the show and I'm like, get him out. You'd hear New York City. I would get him out. Yeah.
- [129:20]
Eric D'Alessandro
The difference between me, I'm like, what. What size hat is that? Can I try that on? Can I pull that off?
- [129:25]
John Holmberg
That's what I would do. Let me try that on. Yeah, you don't want to be wearing that. Not with the gay audience. I see you dressed as a cowboy. Forget it. I don't know. They.
- [129:32]
Eric D'Alessandro
They do like. They do like a cosplay, right?
- [129:35]
John Holmberg
They enjoy a cosplay. Yeah.
- [129:37]
Dale Hellis
You're gonna.
- [129:37]
John Holmberg
You're gonna get kidnapped tonight. You better stop tonight.
- [129:40]
Brady
He's gonna be a policeman.
- [129:41]
John Holmberg
You're a father now. You better not. Hey, man.
- [129:43]
Eric D'Alessandro
Daddy, you gotta pay the bills.
- [129:44]
John Holmberg
You're gonna end up in an incredibly well decor that's. I'm worried for you. Eric Dilles Andros at Stand up live tonight, 7:30. Not staying for the weekend? You're going somewhere?
- [129:56]
Eric D'Alessandro
No, I just don't think I could sell enough tickets. I think that's the real.
- [130:00]
John Holmberg
When I said, are you going somewhere? That's not what I meant. Are you actually leaving? No. You're saying when you are going somewhere, like in that regard. But you just don't think you'd get the whole weekend out of the way.
- [130:10]
Eric D'Alessandro
You know this.
- [130:10]
John Holmberg
I think you can do it.
- [130:11]
Eric D'Alessandro
This was a late. We just added this later on in the year. So I'm thinking maybe that's why.
- [130:17]
John Holmberg
So is this a test run? Is that what they do these Thursdays? You get out there.
- [130:20]
Brady
Brad.
- [130:20]
John Holmberg
Brad, Is this. If he doesn't sell Thursdays, he's never coming back. You bastards. Exactly, man.
- [130:26]
Eric D'Alessandro
That's what comedy clubs do. It's like, all right, we'll see how you do. We're gonna give you Tuesday at 2pm and if you don't sell out.
- [130:32]
John Holmberg
That's proof that you're Dolly Shipping. You're not working, man. Which would be tough if you were even Chappelle. Yeah, exactly. Like if Dave Chappelle's like, you get 2 o' clock Tuesday. Sell it out or you're never coming back.
- [130:42]
Eric D'Alessandro
Exactly. So they really set you up for something.
- [130:44]
John Holmberg
Success.
- [130:44]
Eric D'Alessandro
At least Thursday's a good night.
- [130:45]
John Holmberg
You know, Thursday's a fun night to get to. People are already. They're not. Nobody works on Fridays anymore. They show up, but they don't do anything. Come on, get drunk and goof around.
- [130:52]
Eric D'Alessandro
There's AI.
- [130:53]
John Holmberg
Yeah, it's exactly. That's what it is. Are you worried about AI at all? Oh, yeah.
- [130:57]
Eric D'Alessandro
I can't sleep at night. Well, I don't know how deep you've looked into it.
- [131:03]
John Holmberg
Pornographic. Very, very deep.
- [131:06]
Eric D'Alessandro
If you go. If you go down the rabbit hole of what it's.
- [131:10]
John Holmberg
What.
- [131:10]
Eric D'Alessandro
What's possible with it, what industries it'll disrupt, what our lifestyle will. How much of our life will change. It gets scary. I like. I love human stories. We're already seeing movies disappear and I want movies to make a comeback. I feel like they're not culturally relevant anymore. Any movie that we reference is 20 years old.
- [131:27]
John Holmberg
And I just feel like we're talking about Full House. You. When I. Just a little bit.
- [131:30]
Eric D'Alessandro
Yeah, exactly. That's 30 years old.
- [131:32]
John Holmberg
Reference points are gone.
- [131:33]
Eric D'Alessandro
Yeah. Anything that we kind of talk about as like a cliche or a little wink and a smile, that's all stuff from 30 years ago. We don't really have any references as of late.
- [131:44]
John Holmberg
No.
- [131:45]
Eric D'Alessandro
Like I talk about this in my act about how being 30 isn't old anymore because culture has frozen. Like, I'm wearing the same sneakers and same hat as a 17 year old. That's never happened in the history of the world. Like, my father wore orthopedic shoes which looked like me as a kid. And like now 40 year olds dress the same way that their 10 year old dresses. And we're all on the same apps. We're all doing the same thing. Life hasn't changed. When my parents went from 21 to 35, it was a lifetime of changes. Huge. You know. And then when I went 21 to 35, they call Twitter X now.
- [132:25]
John Holmberg
That's kind of it.
- [132:26]
Eric D'Alessandro
There's really the same shit happening.
- [132:28]
John Holmberg
Oh, you can't say that.
- [132:29]
Eric D'Alessandro
Oh, sorry.
- [132:29]
John Holmberg
That's all right. It's okay. It's old radio.
- [132:31]
Eric D'Alessandro
I'm so sorry.
- [132:32]
John Holmberg
That hasn't changed either.
- [132:33]
Eric D'Alessandro
I apologize.
- [132:34]
John Holmberg
We Catch all the time. I'm sorry I didn't catch it. All right, well, I apologize to all the children we have listening.
- [132:39]
Eric D'Alessandro
Yeah, I thought S H I T.
- [132:41]
John Holmberg
Now that would be a normal. I don't know if you can spell it either. Oh, damn.
- [132:46]
Dale Hellis
Poop.
- [132:47]
John Holmberg
Poop. It's garbage. It doesn't make any sense. And they need to change that, too. Like, they need to get. That's why radio is gonna die. Well, because it's so far behind everything else. And we're still playing these games from 1950. Yeah.
- [132:58]
Eric D'Alessandro
I mean, people on podcasts are literally just showing, like, beheading videos.
- [133:02]
John Holmberg
Yes. And, you know, meanwhile, earlier I said, you and I. You can't spell. Sh. You can't. And I don't know why I had mentioned earlier that you and I would play basketball and then blow each other. That seems. Okay.
- [133:12]
Eric D'Alessandro
That's.
- [133:12]
John Holmberg
But yeah. And then. Yeah. So, you know, what are you gonna do? It seems a little.
- [133:14]
Guest Female
That's what you'd think.
- [133:15]
John Holmberg
All right, well.
- [133:16]
Eric D'Alessandro
Gotta love a loophole, right?
- [133:17]
John Holmberg
It's a hell of a game. It's a hell of a game. That's a hell of a game. It's a strange world. But you're right. I was talking about that with a friend of mine last night. When I was a kid, ColecoVision and Intellivision were like, the world's never gonna get better than this. Like, these old video game systems. And then it turned into, like, PlayStation. You're like, this is pretty awesome. And now AI video games where I can't tell if any what's real and what's not. And I'm like, this is monumental. I left a baseball game last night and had a drone flying above me talking to me if I needed an Uber. No. And the cop was like, do you understand the drone? And I said, I do. And he goes, it's a test. We're doing a test right now to lead people to ride shares. And there's a drone just going, anyone who needs a ride share, turn right now.
- [133:56]
Eric D'Alessandro
That's really Jetsons.
- [133:57]
John Holmberg
That's what I said. I said, I feel like I'm in a, Like a, like the Fifth Element. I'm in some weird, like, that happened to me yesterday for the first time ever. Meanwhile, have you taken a Waymo since you've been in town?
- [134:08]
Eric D'Alessandro
I haven't. I've seen them all over the place.
- [134:09]
John Holmberg
They're amazing. Yeah. Yeah. And we don't even bat an eye that there are driverless cars now. Yeah, man.
- [134:14]
Eric D'Alessandro
I, I. A friend of mine used to always be like, there's never gonna be. There's never gonna be people driving in like 20 years.
- [134:21]
John Holmberg
I hope so.
- [134:21]
Eric D'Alessandro
We really don't think. Because we're more dangerous than the computers.
- [134:24]
John Holmberg
Obviously. If they were all on the same page, we can go anywhere. We went at like 150 miles an hour. Oh, yeah. Every car would drive.
- [134:29]
Brady
There's a big accident, like a glitch in the.
- [134:31]
John Holmberg
There won't be.
- [134:32]
Brady
It's gonna be huge.
- [134:33]
Eric D'Alessandro
Oh, yeah.
- [134:33]
John Holmberg
No, we're talking big stuff. I've seen the Jetsons. They have a. Like a broom and a little dustpan that comes out of the side and they clean up the whole car wreck and everything keeps going again.
- [134:43]
Eric D'Alessandro
And it folds back into a suitcase.
- [134:44]
John Holmberg
Exactly.
- [134:45]
Brady
I've seen a lot of them.
- [134:46]
John Holmberg
No, we'll be thinking about this for a lot. But how fast. Everything's changing when it comes to that. But society itself. We don't have anything we own. And again, I've always said that we only have politics in common, which is why that's all we talk about, which is causing us all this grief and nonsense. When we used to sit and go, have you seen the new, you know, Arnold movie?
- [135:06]
Eric D'Alessandro
Yeah.
- [135:06]
John Holmberg
Yeah. And we talk about that for weeks on it.
- [135:08]
Eric D'Alessandro
Yeah. I think. I think also it's. In a weird way, technology is just there. It's just software updates at this point too.
- [135:17]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [135:18]
Eric D'Alessandro
Where it's like the new Grand Theft Auto is coming out next year. Everybody's excited about it. And like, don't get me wrong, it has better graphics than Grand Theft Auto 5, but not 15 years Difference of graphics.
- [135:29]
John Holmberg
You don't think.
- [135:30]
Eric D'Alessandro
I don't think so. I feel like we used to make leaps and bounds, but like, we were kind of plateauing with, like, if it. It's gonna start looking indistinguishable from real life. So how do you evolve from that?
- [135:41]
John Holmberg
Yeah, that's true.
- [135:42]
Eric D'Alessandro
Like, if the.
- [135:43]
John Holmberg
If.
- [135:43]
Eric D'Alessandro
If the. If the video game looks like I'm watching NBA.
- [135:46]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [135:47]
Eric D'Alessandro
What's after that?
- [135:48]
John Holmberg
Hologram.
- [135:49]
Eric D'Alessandro
It just stays there.
- [135:50]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [135:50]
Eric D'Alessandro
So I feel like we've kind of like. Like in a weird way, we're kind of there.
- [135:54]
John Holmberg
We're plateauing. Yeah.
- [135:55]
Eric D'Alessandro
And like it's leading to.
- [135:57]
Brady
You'd wonder if that tournament were actually, like, if you have the esports and you're playing with these. And there's more people following the teams now that are.
- [136:05]
John Holmberg
But it'd be fun to listen to something.
- [136:07]
Eric D'Alessandro
Something like that's gonna happen. I feel like where there's, like we.
- [136:09]
Brady
Watch feeds into the actual.
- [136:11]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [136:12]
Brady
Watching NBA.
- [136:13]
John Holmberg
I can't imagine what would come next because I couldn't imagine where we're sitting right now.
- [136:17]
Eric D'Alessandro
I kind of just wish. I think my parents are baby boomers and they are in a lot of ways not the best generation for a lot of reasons, but I feel like they were born at like the perfect time. Just as, like, just as Earth is really gonna be going down, they're gonna be tapping out like, ah, that's it for me. And they're dying at a great time. Whereas I gotta like teach my son.
- [136:38]
John Holmberg
You had a one year old and put him in this mix and it's just. Yeah, you're right. It's not gonna be good for him. What'd you do that for?
- [136:45]
Eric D'Alessandro
I. I regret it all the time.
- [136:46]
John Holmberg
I think about it all the time. I'm like, why?
- [136:48]
Eric D'Alessandro
What did I do this to him for?
- [136:50]
Brady
I'm sorry, son.
- [136:51]
Eric D'Alessandro
Another weird thing about being a parent now, especially when you just had kids recently like me, is the world I wanted to recreate for him doesn't exist anymore.
- [137:03]
John Holmberg
Yeah, it's not even close.
- [137:03]
Eric D'Alessandro
The things I did with my parents, like when my parents were kids and then they had me, we basically had the same experience. We could still go to the movies, we could still, you know, go sledding and, you know, all these little, like, nice things they had. But like, our sense of community has been dismantled everywhere. We don't do anything together. Like, there's no more malls. You can't rent a movie, you can't go to the store anymore. Everything has been eviscerated. And I'm like, I don't even know where we're gonna go when he's like a teenager. Are movies even gonna be there?
- [137:35]
John Holmberg
Yeah, he's one.
- [137:36]
Eric D'Alessandro
Bowling alley's gonna be there.
- [137:37]
John Holmberg
He's one. And you're trouble relating. Yeah. Imagine when it starts becoming people.
- [137:41]
Brady
The movies have definitely phased out for them. I mean, the handful of exceptions like Marvel or something like that. Other than that, there is not a passion for movies.
- [137:52]
Eric D'Alessandro
I know, man. There was this. My friend just sent me this thing about how Gen Z consumes TV shows in clips online. They don't even watch the whole show. So, like they watch the office just through 800 different clips of the Office. They don't follow the plot. They have no idea what's going on.
- [138:10]
John Holmberg
They don't care about the subtleties or the nuance or anything else.
- [138:13]
Eric D'Alessandro
I would argue that that's. That has to, that has to meet. There has to be an end to that. Because human beings are. We are a pack species.
- [138:23]
John Holmberg
Sure.
- [138:24]
Eric D'Alessandro
We thrive with communication and being with others. And their generation is already incredibly lonely and not doing well. I don't know what the end goal of these tech companies is. It's gonna plateau and it's gonna. I think.
- [138:36]
John Holmberg
How do you think it ends?
- [138:37]
Eric D'Alessandro
I don't know.
- [138:38]
Brady
Man Goes back to old school.
- [138:40]
John Holmberg
No way.
- [138:41]
Brady
I don't think it will.
- [138:42]
Eric D'Alessandro
Not completely.
- [138:43]
Brady
Yeah, but there has to be some of that stuff.
- [138:46]
Eric D'Alessandro
There has to be because you don't even. We've been modern humans for a blip on the radar. And we've had technology for. You can't even measure it with how long we've been humans. We've been humans for like 300,000 years, I think. And we've had electronics for what, a hundred maybe.
- [139:04]
John Holmberg
And not even close to what we've got. Like. Yeah. What would be considered electronics?
- [139:07]
Eric D'Alessandro
So our brains are for the cavemen.
- [139:11]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [139:11]
Eric D'Alessandro
And we're trying. We don't evolve that fast.
- [139:21]
Dale Hellis
Holmberg's morning sickness.
- [139:23]
John Holmberg
I talked to my friend last night at the game and we were chatting about the drone thing and I said, you know what's weird? My dad's 78 and he basically got here, like you said, like right on time for the kind of cool stuff. But a few years earlier and he was living pretty much the same as Everybody in the 1800s. It wasn't that different. We had cars. That was new, but that happened. And I said, think of what's happened for us compared to like all this. And now think of what happened in his lifetime. Yeah. Like when he was. My dad was a kid, it like literally rode a horse. Places sometimes as transportation because it was easier. Wow. Cuz he lived in a really small town. He's like, well, just take the horse. That was an option. Now my dad's sitting there getting drones talking to him. He's like this real.
- [140:06]
Eric D'Alessandro
Yeah, that's.
- [140:07]
John Holmberg
Brinkley sent me an email.
- [140:08]
Eric D'Alessandro
Yeah. That's a good age to have a drone.
- [140:10]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [140:11]
Eric D'Alessandro
When you're 78, you know, it's like, oh, wow.
- [140:13]
John Holmberg
The future. Yeah. Yeah.
- [140:15]
Eric D'Alessandro
Where my parents live across the street. There was this guy, Lou, rest his soul. He lived to be a hundred. He was born in 1920. He saw Babe Ruth play twice.
- [140:25]
John Holmberg
Wow.
- [140:25]
Eric D'Alessandro
I would talk to him. He was the just. He was absolutely sharp as attack. Till he died. He died of COVID But he was. He would walk every day. And I was thinking, from 1920 to 2020. I don't think there's a crazier 100 years where you could have seen like that is unbelievable.
- [140:43]
John Holmberg
And you get to see it. Yeah. You got the information. You didn't just hear about it.
- [140:46]
Eric D'Alessandro
Yeah, he was, he was there.
- [140:48]
John Holmberg
That's crazy.
- [140:48]
Eric D'Alessandro
And if you look at, I always say millennials are interesting generation. Everybody thinks their generation is interesting. But obviously I'm more biased towards mine. But when I was born, growing up in the 90s, we still had the flavor of the 70s and like the 60s of like, we would be played outside and we, we had video games, but it didn't really take over our lives. Internet wasn't really a thing yet. And from my, the time when I was 10 to 35, it has been such an insane change to where like, I don't think when Steve Jobs invented this, was he like, this is going to take every aspect of human life and destroy it.
- [141:27]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [141:27]
Eric D'Alessandro
Literally everything about life has been destroyed because of this.
- [141:31]
John Holmberg
And you gotta figure out how to do it from here on. And I think it's weird because I.
- [141:35]
Eric D'Alessandro
Think memory people, dude, there's a study, there's a study that they, when you went. When you go to a. They did a focus group group. This group went through a museum and didn't take photos. This group did take photos. And the people who took photos remembered less.
- [141:50]
John Holmberg
They knew nothing.
- [141:50]
Eric D'Alessandro
Because your brain tells you, I don't have to remember this.
- [141:53]
Brady
I got it covered.
- [141:53]
John Holmberg
I call this the handbrain. I call the phone the handbrain. Because you don't need yours anymore. Nope, it's a backup brain. And it's better than mine.
- [142:01]
Eric D'Alessandro
You don't need your brain, you don't need your community. You don't need a store, you don't need.
- [142:08]
John Holmberg
Well, now you're selling it. No community, no store. Doordash. It just sounds awesome.
- [142:14]
Eric D'Alessandro
Yeah, it sounds great. Until you do it for a week and then you're like.
- [142:17]
John Holmberg
Everything was going to be weirder the second they gave the option for non contact deliveries. Don't even touch my door. Just put it on the porch and walk away. What?
- [142:27]
Eric D'Alessandro
I don't know how we got so efficient with these. When I'd order something as a kid from ups, it would take like three weeks.
- [142:32]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [142:33]
Eric D'Alessandro
How are we doing it in an hour?
- [142:34]
John Holmberg
Same day.
- [142:35]
Eric D'Alessandro
How are we doing it in an hour?
- [142:37]
John Holmberg
Sometimes I don't want to get up off the couch to look to see if I have the thing I want. So I just get. It'll be here in 45 minutes.
- [142:43]
Eric D'Alessandro
Are you all fans of just having no stores anywhere?
- [142:47]
John Holmberg
I kind of like stores, but I'm scared.
- [142:49]
Eric D'Alessandro
Okay, Exactly. Everybody loves stores. You don't want them to go away, so we're all contributing to this.
- [142:54]
John Holmberg
I want the people inside them to go away. I want the store to be mine.
- [142:57]
Eric D'Alessandro
I don't really want that.
- [142:58]
John Holmberg
Yeah, I think I do.
- [142:59]
Eric D'Alessandro
You say that now.
- [143:00]
John Holmberg
Now I'm pretty sure this is like.
- [143:01]
Eric D'Alessandro
A little kid saying, I wish every day was Christmas. And then he's.
- [143:04]
John Holmberg
I kind of wish that, too.
- [143:04]
Eric D'Alessandro
No, it's not good.
- [143:06]
John Holmberg
I kind of wish what you're saying is real. Yeah. I loved Covid. I'm sorry for your loss with Lou, but I love Covid because I got. I went anywhere I wanted, and no one was there.
- [143:17]
Eric D'Alessandro
Okay. How long did that last?
- [143:19]
John Holmberg
It lasted way too short a period of time. The freeways were empty. I would. I would drive in the freeway. What is. It was. It didn't last that long and just goof around. I would drive, like, all the lanes. I was having a blast. I rode my bike to work. You're the problem.
- [143:30]
Eric D'Alessandro
You work for. You work for Big Tech.
- [143:32]
John Holmberg
Yeah, I do. I do have to admit that sometimes I'm like, this isn't so bad. Like, this whole disappearing act of.
- [143:38]
Eric D'Alessandro
Because you're gonna die on time.
- [143:39]
John Holmberg
I'm gonna die right on time. Exactly. I don't have a lot left. I'm 53. I'm planning maybe 12, 15 more, I think. Anything. Do you want to live to be a hundred? I call them resource suckers.
- [143:49]
Guest Female
At all?
- [143:50]
John Holmberg
Yeah. No. Yeah, we talked about it. There was some lady playing golf. She's 105, and the news covered her. And I'm like, all you're doing is pointing a camera at it and saying, look, it's breathing. Yeah. Nobody's like. Nobody's 105. And moving is the gift. I don't want to be that.
- [144:03]
Eric D'Alessandro
You know, Dude. I say, I had a bit about, like, how. And some people got upset. The women I was teasing got a little upset. But like you said, the women over 45.
- [144:13]
John Holmberg
Right. We don't need it.
- [144:14]
Eric D'Alessandro
How grandmas have changed. Grandmas used to look like, you know, Bea Arthur. Now they look like Susan Sorrendon.
- [144:21]
Brady
Yeah.
- [144:22]
Eric D'Alessandro
So it's like we lost that character that we all envision a grandma to be, which is super weird. And they're also just aging beautifully, but they're not. I don't think people understand that, like, the longevity of life. The life expectancy is going to be so wild.
- [144:41]
John Holmberg
It's stupid.
- [144:41]
Eric D'Alessandro
In the next 40 years, I think my parents can make it to 100 easily.
- [144:44]
John Holmberg
But I don't want anybody.
- [144:46]
Eric D'Alessandro
I don't think it'll be the way you're viewing. They'll just be hanging on. I think they'll be there.
- [144:49]
John Holmberg
But here's the problem.
- [144:50]
Brady
Because of the advanced medicine.
- [144:53]
Eric D'Alessandro
Advanced medicine. They don't smoke, they don't drink. They're walking.
- [144:56]
John Holmberg
Nobody thinks about this. If we keep doing that, that they'll move the retirement age, like 80.
- [145:02]
Eric D'Alessandro
There's going to be no more. There's going to be no more Social Security or retirement.
- [145:05]
John Holmberg
Well, maybe that's a different argument. Let's say everything that's true, but let's say because of that, they're going to be like, well, we can't pay for that for 40 years. So they're going to make you work till you're 80. I don't want to work till I'm 80.
- [145:15]
Dale Hellis
So what are.
- [145:16]
John Holmberg
What do they.
- [145:16]
Eric D'Alessandro
What do you suggest we do?
- [145:17]
John Holmberg
We start killing them? We start putting bombs in cars, Killing old people.
- [145:21]
Eric D'Alessandro
Bill Burr said the best way to do it is to just start sinking cruise ships.
- [145:25]
John Holmberg
Put some torpedoes aside of some Royal Caribbean and let's get this started. Yeah, I think that's very true.
- [145:31]
Brady
Another Viking cruise went down.
- [145:33]
John Holmberg
I see old people and I'm just like, look at them sucking up my resources.
- [145:37]
Eric D'Alessandro
You know, there's something to be said about that.
- [145:39]
John Holmberg
Yeah. You know, because it's factual. Yeah, yeah. People hate that.
- [145:42]
Eric D'Alessandro
What are we doing here?
- [145:44]
John Holmberg
We were only designed initially to live like 38 years.
- [145:47]
Eric D'Alessandro
Oh, yeah, dude. I'm on my way out.
- [145:49]
John Holmberg
You're about done?
- [145:49]
Eric D'Alessandro
Yeah, that's it.
- [145:50]
John Holmberg
I'm packing it up. I feel way past that.
- [145:53]
Eric D'Alessandro
I'm looking at you like, look at this guy wasting machine. He's gonna have hair.
- [145:56]
John Holmberg
I still have a job at least once. I quit and I'm like, I'm tire and walk around for 40 years and just suck it up. No, get me on that ship and.
- [146:03]
Eric D'Alessandro
Sell some kid your house that you paid $6 for $2 million off of it.
- [146:09]
John Holmberg
Eric D' Alessandro is at Stand Up Live just tonight, and if he doesn't sell tickets, he'll never be back. So it's up to you guys to make sure this place is packed up and he does well, because we need you to come back. Eric. Save the world. Tell us something you would change. Change at all. Give us words of wisdom. Oh, wow. Yeah.
- [146:25]
Eric D'Alessandro
That's not a loaded question.
- [146:26]
John Holmberg
No, it isn't. And it can't be. Kill the old people. That's mine.
- [146:31]
Eric D'Alessandro
I think I'm predicting some communal experience will Have a resurgence. Like the 1950s had bowling. We need something that people.
- [146:43]
John Holmberg
Pickleball kind of a thing.
- [146:45]
Eric D'Alessandro
Yeah. But we're lonelier than ever. We're sadder than ever. We're more depressed than ever. And it's because we're not with each other. And it sounds super cheesy, but that's the truth. You can't, like, I think. What is the saying? It's not a saying. It's a statistic that, like, a certain percentage of communication is through, like, being in someone's looking him in the eyes and getting their body language. And, like. So that's a serious problem. And one of my things now that's, like, super dark is I'm, like, telling my wife this when she watches girls on TikTok who were just living their lives, and it's like, here's what I bought from Target. Let's unpack my bag. It's like, Mr. Rogers did this. Yeah, but this isn't entertainment. This is just us watching other people, which is like a Stockholm syndrome of them being like, well, no, I like. I like her because she's just like me. It's like, no, no, no. TikTok and Facebook are selling you back the idea of what they stole from you. Like, they're giving you a little taste of humanity because that's what they took from you.
- [147:43]
John Holmberg
Interesting.
- [147:44]
Eric D'Alessandro
So there you relate to this girl because you have no one else to relate to.
- [147:47]
John Holmberg
That's very interesting points. I like that. That's very true. True. And I've always con. I always say that TikTok is now just. What they always said is, don't confuse motion with or don't confuse energy with entertainment or talent. I have. And it's just people moving around, and they're like, oh, they're doing something. So that must be entertaining, especially because it's on a screen. So for years, we were indoctrinated to think, if you're on a screen, you must be entertaining.
- [148:10]
Eric D'Alessandro
Now we are now, I think, the. One of the worst things that has happened, and this is what I'm hoping will change. But, like, as someone who. Who got a bigger following in my start of my career from social media, there was a small window when it was for people who knew how to. I don't want this to sound pretentious, like, I think I'm better than anyone, but I've been editing since. For 20 years. I've been in front of a camera for 20 years. I've been, like, honing this craft of comedy for my entire Life. So, like, I knew how to write and edit and act and things. It wasn't just me being like, record anything and post 12 times a day. Like, that's not valuable to anyone.
- [148:46]
Brady
It's volume, man. You gotta keep posting.
- [148:48]
Eric D'Alessandro
And that's what the companies want. Of course the companies want that because they need to feed the machine. So they've convinced young people that this is how you get to freedom. So, like, oh, be a content creator. Being a content creator is jail. It's miserable, it's terrible, it's not good. The audience is not what you think it is. Like, I come from it. Like, it's not sustainable. People see you, they laugh, they scroll. There was a moment, and I'm very lucky to have come up in that, where you could curate a fan base because people, like, followed you. Now followers, it doesn't really mean anything. They don't see. You go on TikTok and it's a for you page. It's not who you follow. You go on Instagram, it's not who you follow.
- [149:32]
John Holmberg
You're following yourself.
- [149:33]
Eric D'Alessandro
It's just random things. It's like, I don't want to see my cousin golfing in Scottsdale. If I could see this Dodge Durango drive through a restaurant.
- [149:42]
John Holmberg
That's where you're competing. But I watch both of those.
- [149:45]
Eric D'Alessandro
Yeah, it's crazy.
- [149:46]
John Holmberg
Yeah, it's crazy. Frank Caliendo and I talked about this a while ago and he basically said the greatest phrase. He goes, there's no gatekeeper now. Whereas before entertainment had a gatekeeper, you could present yourself somewhere and someone would be like, that's not good enough. Yes, there's. That doesn't exist anymore. It's all up to you whether or not you're going to present.
- [150:03]
Eric D'Alessandro
I'm working hard on, On. On my own show that I'm making for my YouTube channel, and I'm trying to produce 12 episodes before I release it. And one of them is about that, about how we don't have entertainment, we have content. And I actually make an argument for. I think gatekeepers were a good thing.
- [150:20]
John Holmberg
Awesome. Yeah.
- [150:21]
Eric D'Alessandro
Because it's like, we see what we do. It's not good.
- [150:25]
John Holmberg
It's not, go to Walmart. You don't want to see these people doing stuff at home.
- [150:29]
Eric D'Alessandro
It's people who have turned the most beautiful art form, which is cinema, into someone just recording themselves, do anything. And that's not art.
- [150:40]
John Holmberg
That's.
- [150:40]
Eric D'Alessandro
That's nothing.
- [150:41]
John Holmberg
Only fans.
- [150:41]
Eric D'Alessandro
It's distraction. Yeah, it's distracting.
- [150:44]
Brady
The Instagram, Tick tock, sandman yeah, we.
- [150:47]
John Holmberg
Need to sweep them off the stage. Yeah. The world to be more like the Apollo Amateur night.
- [150:51]
Eric D'Alessandro
I think. I think so. I think that will burn out.
- [150:54]
John Holmberg
Wouldn't it be great if the computer did have a sandman? If the thing just swept this thing off the screen? It does. It's called Zero views. Yeah, it's called Zero views in your thumb. Eric d'. Alessandro. It's good to meet you, man. Pleasure. Good luck to you. I hope tonight goes as well. And I'm sure we'll see you again.
- [151:07]
Eric D'Alessandro
Thank you so much for having me.
- [151:08]
John Holmberg
It's 98 KUPD. It's not weird. It's pretty cool actually. No membership fees. I have heard enough of this.
- [151:19]
Dale Hellis
Morning sickness.
- [151:21]
John Holmberg
The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Look at this. The day just floats right by Thursday. Dale's here. We're going to get right to it. Dale, a hella straight three time world champion from those Dallas Cowboys way back in the day. Day.
- [151:37]
Brett
Nice intro today. See you always. Like last week he didn't get his proper intro.
- [151:41]
Dale Hellis
But today I supposed to start at 9:00'.
- [151:44]
John Holmberg
Clock. Okay.
- [151:45]
Brett
Well, there we go.
- [151:48]
John Holmberg
God damn it. Who told you you were starting at.
- [151:51]
Dale Hellis
Any time other than when I start now? I got one thing. I know you're going to read. The thing started so smooth.
- [151:58]
John Holmberg
How else was I. I got.
- [152:00]
Brett
That's what I was giving you.
- [152:02]
Dale Hellis
I got a question to ask.
- [152:03]
John Holmberg
You're going to waste more time.
- [152:04]
Dale Hellis
So the guy that you had on taking up my time spot.
- [152:06]
John Holmberg
Yeah, I like.
- [152:07]
Dale Hellis
He's a Thursday night guy, right? I mean, he's there.
- [152:09]
John Holmberg
You're a Thursday day guy.
- [152:11]
Dale Hellis
Thursday night. See if he's funny, whatever.
- [152:14]
John Holmberg
Well, that was our joke for him. Because he's only here for a day.
- [152:17]
Dale Hellis
Yeah, because he couldn't sell out Friday, Saturday.
- [152:19]
John Holmberg
But could you?
- [152:20]
Dale Hellis
But here's my question to you.
- [152:22]
John Holmberg
Oh, for Christ's sake.
- [152:22]
Dale Hellis
As I'm sitting out there in the heat.
- [152:24]
John Holmberg
You got here at 9:05, you got here sitting there. I have the time stamp.
- [152:29]
Dale Hellis
And I'm waiting, waiting. And I'm waiting. And they saved the world. And I will give advice and whatever, but here's my question to you. He's a Thursday night guy. He can only. He can only sell one comedy show. I watch him. And the guy who brought him down here, he has a driver.
- [152:47]
John Holmberg
Yeah, well, how about a head of hair on that kid?
- [152:49]
Dale Hellis
Tell me this.
- [152:50]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [152:51]
Dale Hellis
If you're a Thursday night guy, that's not really that funny. Do you John get in the band. Back seat of the car of a little white. Did he get in Chevrolet?
- [153:03]
John Holmberg
That's awesome. Now that's funny that I like looking at him going.
- [153:06]
Dale Hellis
I just listen to you.
- [153:08]
John Holmberg
I like.
- [153:09]
Dale Hellis
You don't get in the back seat.
- [153:11]
John Holmberg
Superstars don't ride up front.
- [153:13]
Dale Hellis
You get your ass up front. Hey, until you can. Until you can sell. Thursday, Friday, Saturday, then you get the back seat.
- [153:21]
John Holmberg
Oh, Delisandro, great move getting in the back seat, making Brad fake it till you make it.
- [153:27]
Brett
You know, right there.
- [153:28]
Dale Hellis
I like that you guys are.
- [153:30]
John Holmberg
And by the way, I have the time stamp. You text at 9:05.
- [153:34]
Dale Hellis
Yeah, well, I. I was there at 9:00 clock ready to go. But again, you're going.
- [153:38]
John Holmberg
15 minutes to get up here. Funny, you dumbass. Takes you 15 minutes to get up here. 15 minutes.
- [153:45]
Brady
Weren't intrigued with that conversation.
- [153:48]
Dale Hellis
You wouldn't even get in the of your car.
- [153:50]
John Holmberg
I absolutely. I'd lay low. So nobody saw me in there.
- [153:53]
Dale Hellis
No, you jumped right up front when I picked you up. That is true.
- [153:57]
John Holmberg
I wanted to see what it was like up there. Anyway, Dale is brought to you by. Oh my God. Our friends at Diamond Coating. You're gonna get out there. They're at my house right now, by the way. They do all sorts of different things for your garage floor, for any floor. They'll do the house. The house thing, right? Yeah, yeah. That's an amazing thing too. They'll paint your house and you never have to paint your house again.
- [154:13]
Brady
25 years.
- [154:15]
John Holmberg
It's amazing. Yeah. They've got all sorts of stuff.
- [154:18]
Dale Hellis
None of us are gonna be around.
- [154:19]
John Holmberg
No, I know, but at least your house will be. That's a good point for us. And then. Wow, that's true. I didn't even think of that. They take care of everything. They'll take care of your pavers, your walls, your garage floor. Any floor you got, any surface you got, they can cover it and make it better and give it a little more life. And that's the thing we're looking for. So thank you. Diamond coatings AZ.com. that's where you go. Dale is here. And Dale, you have opened my eyes to something in the world of sport in Arizona that I don't like that you did. But it resonates in my head a lot. God, I quoted you. Oh my goodness.
- [154:54]
Dale Hellis
Did you start with my friend Dale or my acquaintance Dale or. Hey, this guy. I know.
- [154:58]
John Holmberg
A guest on my podcast.
- [155:01]
Dale Hellis
On your podcast. On your podcast.
- [155:05]
John Holmberg
Guest on my podcast. I've been on your podcast and Wasn't you though I did clarify. And not Brady, a guest on my podcast said, where Arizona sports. We can't have nice things.
- [155:16]
Dale Hellis
We can't.
- [155:16]
John Holmberg
And I'm at the Diamondbacks game last week and this week, last week against the Giants. Brady and I went to a game.
- [155:23]
Dale Hellis
Yeah.
- [155:23]
John Holmberg
13 innings. They leave the bases loaded in the extra innings. Eight men overall. Oh, left on base was. I think it was more than that. I think it was like. Was it total? I think it was.
- [155:33]
Brady
I think it was eight.
- [155:34]
John Holmberg
But neither team could get a hit. Yeah. So we watched a pitcher stool through nine innings where maybe there were three base runners total. I think it was eight. Cuz then last night again, bases loaded. And then Jake McCarthy throws one straight up in the air with them. All he had to do was put the ball out and play or strike out. You know, get it out into the field. Pops up. All right, give it to him. That's the next batter is McCann, I think. And he does the exact same thing. And you're like, they just left the bases loaded. And I turned to my friend and I said, we can't have nice things. Arizona is. The Mets lost yesterday. The Reds lost yesterday. Primed and ready to go to win the season series against the Dodgers, which is a one out low. And the reason it was one out is because of a beautiful sacrifice punt that took that ghost runner to third base. Like, that's perfect baseball.
- [156:23]
Dale Hellis
The next two guys, you're the home team.
- [156:24]
John Holmberg
All you need is a hit. All you need is contact. Just get the sack fly.
- [156:29]
Dale Hellis
Yes.
- [156:30]
John Holmberg
And they could not get it done. And that is how great teams get good in going into the playoffs. And the Diamondbacks had everything set in front of them and they gave it back to the Dodgers, who didn't want the game. They blew another lead.
- [156:44]
Dale Hellis
Their bullpen is actually, I think, worse than the Diamondback dumpster fire.
- [156:47]
John Holmberg
It's a disaster. So I, Yeah, I. I watch that. And I wonder how right is Dale. Is it just. And I'm not, you know, I'm not like, I'm never going to pretend to be like, oh, I'm a. Diamondbacks die hard. Whatever. I am paying attention because I think Tory Level is the most. I want Tory Lavella to get fired and go to Pittsburgh.
- [157:05]
Brady
He's only been wrong once.
- [157:06]
John Holmberg
Okay. And show. Yeah. Only. Yeah. Show. Show everybody here that he does stuff that is that he takes less talent and makes it good. You gave him a roster of talent. He was okay with it. You give him what he's got right now. And they're, they're better than they were before they sold the whole team. He goes to Pittsburgh, he goes to the Sacramento A's, whatever they're called, that dude wins and he can't quite get over the hump.
- [157:31]
Dale Hellis
The thing is, if you look at this dimeback season number one, at the trade deadline, everybody wrote them off.
- [157:37]
John Holmberg
They were done. They wrote themselves off.
- [157:38]
Dale Hellis
And not only have you lost your 200 million dollar pitcher, you've lost AJ Pac, you've lost your, your bullpen.
- [157:44]
John Holmberg
And then Mortis Gurrio. Yeah.
- [157:45]
Dale Hellis
And then you. And then you trade away the guys that you do have and now all of a sudden they play better.
- [157:52]
John Holmberg
No, it's never happened in the history of sports.
- [157:53]
Dale Hellis
And sitting there and again, get you up, you're on edge, your seat, your base is over. I'm sure that you were paying attention.
- [158:01]
John Holmberg
Outstanding game.
- [158:02]
Dale Hellis
And then they can't get that run.
- [158:04]
John Holmberg
Just one run? Yeah, just one run. All you needed was contact. Make them make a play.
- [158:09]
Brady
I'd rather than be same situation in, in one week.
- [158:11]
Dale Hellis
No.
- [158:12]
John Holmberg
Well, and the week earlier. But then last night there was a. The third base coach held up a guy rounding third. The ball's coming in for me. I'm like, make him make the throw. There's one out.
- [158:21]
Dale Hellis
Well, I've always said. Because they got a new third base coach. The old, the, the old third base coach coach, you know, he'd see me or Brady round in third, he wave us on.
- [158:30]
John Holmberg
Yeah, that's true.
- [158:31]
Dale Hellis
Yeah.
- [158:31]
John Holmberg
But now it's going the other way.
- [158:33]
Dale Hellis
He'd see you coming out there, basically. He'd hold you up. Yeah, yeah.
- [158:36]
John Holmberg
And I am a lightning quick.
- [158:37]
Dale Hellis
Well, he's a lot faster than Brady.
- [158:39]
John Holmberg
A lot crawling.
- [158:41]
Dale Hellis
But it's like you get this close now.
- [158:44]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [158:45]
Dale Hellis
And, and, and now everybody's excited, everybody's interested.
- [158:49]
John Holmberg
And then that happens. You play tight.
- [158:51]
Dale Hellis
Yes.
- [158:52]
John Holmberg
You're a team that's barely there. There. Take all the chances, nothing to lose.
- [158:57]
Dale Hellis
Nobody expects anything from you.
- [158:59]
John Holmberg
It was frustrating. I was there last night. It was frustrating. Frustrating.
- [159:02]
Dale Hellis
Thanks for the invite, by the way.
- [159:03]
John Holmberg
Oh, I was invited by someone else. It wasn't, I didn't have. I did have an extra ticket I gave to my friend. I gave it to a good friend of mine, Brian.
- [159:09]
Dale Hellis
Brian go out a lot.
- [159:10]
John Holmberg
He's not been a guest on my podcast.
- [159:11]
Brady
Nice, Nice.
- [159:12]
John Holmberg
Speaking of, by the way, it's going.
- [159:15]
Dale Hellis
To be, hey, I'll, I'll be the guest. And now it's his podcast.
- [159:20]
John Holmberg
It's so good though, because for that Very reason. Now, here's the thing. What's great about it, about it is that in. How long have you been on the main event on WKSY, Translator 695, Robot TV, thousands of listeners, radio. Yeah. And nobody knows how to find it, but it's out there.
- [159:38]
Dale Hellis
The same things. Yeah.
- [159:39]
John Holmberg
You don't know, though.
- [159:41]
Dale Hellis
I'm pretty sure.
- [159:43]
John Holmberg
Our deal has already gotten more downloads than the main event, and it's only like, seven weeks old.
- [159:49]
Dale Hellis
People follow me, Johnny.
- [159:50]
John Holmberg
No, they don't. They have. They have. You had something before no one cared about. I showed up for one show, and they're like, this is fantastic. So now I can introduce you as a frequent guest. Yeah, Permanent guest.
- [160:03]
Dale Hellis
Frequent guest.
- [160:04]
John Holmberg
Permanent guest.
- [160:05]
Dale Hellis
This was Nash, and he said, hey.
- [160:08]
John Holmberg
Yeah, Nash joined late. Nash just said, I'll do it to him.
- [160:12]
Brady
Like, you know why you brought him on, Dale?
- [160:14]
John Holmberg
I sat there and Nash said, take it over. You need me to be part of this. I'm like, I can make everything great. If Nash wants to be there, he'll do it. So now I can introduce him as. And I'm going to promote you today. You are to John Holmberg sports podcast.
- [160:27]
Dale Hellis
Oh, my God. This. It went from.
- [160:30]
Brady
These are great moves.
- [160:33]
John Holmberg
Permanent, Permanent guest. You know who you are?
- [160:36]
Dale Hellis
Yeah.
- [160:37]
John Holmberg
You're like Cat Timf on Gutfeld.
- [160:39]
Dale Hellis
The. The. The good looks.
- [160:41]
John Holmberg
Well, no, no. Kind of. Kind of feminine. A little bit feminine. A little more cellulite than you'd expect.
- [160:48]
Dale Hellis
Seriously, if you have a picture of you, me, and Nash to get together.
- [160:52]
John Holmberg
Oh, here we go.
- [160:53]
Dale Hellis
I'm the freaking. I can.
- [160:54]
Brady
You don't. You don't want to do that.
- [160:56]
John Holmberg
Permanent guest with John Holberg sports podcast with permanent guest Dale.
- [161:00]
Brady
Hell, you just want cartoon characters.
- [161:02]
John Holmberg
I like that, but it's done better than your. It's done better than the main event with Steve McCollum and Dave Hellester. And then there's an exclamation point for no reason. Dave Hell. Isn't that what it says? I think it says Dave. That says Dave Hollister. No, no, I don't think they ever spell it out.
- [161:17]
Brady
Steve McQueen and Dave.
- [161:18]
John Holmberg
Yeah, that's right. I think that's what. That's. It's. It's. They don't even care that you're on it, Robo Johnny. I don't. I look at the logo.
- [161:25]
Brett
It doesn't have Dale on the logo.
- [161:27]
John Holmberg
Oh, how about that?
- [161:28]
Dale Hellis
Well, it doesn't. Not. I'm not. Listen to our. Our thing. Does our thing have a.
- [161:33]
John Holmberg
It's a picture of Me.
- [161:36]
Dale Hellis
Idiot.
- [161:36]
John Holmberg
It's me with baseball glove and a hot.
- [161:39]
Brady
He has you. You're standing in his hand.
- [161:41]
John Holmberg
Permanent guest, Dale. Hell, I like that. I like that quite a bit. The. The Cardinals play tonight. Yes. I Hope they lose 45 to nothing. And I hope they never win another game. So long as Kyler Murray's the quarterback. Because of that whole dog thing with Michael Vick. That's over for me.
- [161:56]
Dale Hellis
No, he paid his penance.
- [161:59]
Brady
No, he's talking about what Kyler did.
- [162:01]
John Holmberg
I'm talking about Kyler did. And he didn't pay his penance.
- [162:04]
Dale Hellis
You're talking about the picture.
- [162:05]
John Holmberg
Who wore the Michael Vic thing. He did not pay his penance for anything. You're talking about Kyler Murray.
- [162:10]
Dale Hellis
No, Michael.
- [162:10]
John Holmberg
Michael Vic didn't. He went to jail for racketeering. He denied the dog thing. Holmberg's morning sickness completely lied.
- [162:24]
Dale Hellis
He was in jail, John.
- [162:25]
John Holmberg
For racketeering. For racketeering and lied. Think of what that would have done in Dallas. You like rumor? Jerry comes to you with his face. And that was back on his super tight. Dale, I understand you're running the dog fighting operation, and I don't think I like that. And you say, oh, no, I'm not. I swear. If it comes at yard Dale, we're gonna have trouble, but I'll back you up. Otherwise, guys. And he did it. He told us. He told Arthur Blank. Go ahead, tell everybody. I didn't.
- [162:53]
Dale Hellis
Okay, so tell me this, because my wife and I, Brooke, we're sitting down. The one you'll never meet. We're sitting down. Watching the news last night, and back to back stories. Were the ice officers getting shot in Dallas.
- [163:06]
John Holmberg
Terrible.
- [163:07]
Dale Hellis
And then a dog. Somebody abusing a dog.
- [163:11]
John Holmberg
Horrible. Both horrible stories.
- [163:15]
Dale Hellis
Are they equally horrible?
- [163:16]
John Holmberg
Why do they have to be in this black and white world? Ranked?
- [163:21]
Dale Hellis
Why can't two things that my wife, my dear, Sweet wife of 37 years.
- [163:27]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [163:28]
Dale Hellis
Showed more emotion about the dog abuse story than the people getting killed.
- [163:34]
John Holmberg
One shouldn't happen at all. Ever.
- [163:37]
Dale Hellis
Neither one of them should happen.
- [163:38]
John Holmberg
The other one, you're like, oh, I'm not surprised. That's the difference.
- [163:43]
Dale Hellis
Are you surprised when there's a dog abuse story? With all the idiots out there, I.
- [163:47]
John Holmberg
Can'T believe someone has it in them to do something.
- [163:51]
Brady
If humans are doing it to humans.
- [163:54]
John Holmberg
There'S truth to that. For some reason, when people do it to people, I'm like, that doesn't shock me.
- [164:00]
Dale Hellis
Really?
- [164:00]
John Holmberg
Yeah. Because there's a helplessness involved with animals that's different than you've also Been shown.
- [164:05]
Brady
It a lot too.
- [164:06]
John Holmberg
Yeah. Yeah. And it's just a thing.
- [164:08]
Dale Hellis
And again, I'm not trying to make a big ruckus out of that. I'm just saying who's more helpless? A person walking out to their truck getting shot.
- [164:15]
John Holmberg
Completely both.
- [164:16]
Dale Hellis
But it's.
- [164:16]
John Holmberg
But one. One is more of just a society sucks. The other is how in the world I, I.
- [164:24]
Dale Hellis
Again, I just thought I'd bring it up because to me it was fascinating. Her reaction.
- [164:28]
John Holmberg
Cuz something that can't fight back and trusts that doesn't need to. Right. Is being abused by someone taking advantage of that. A sniper on a building just firing into somebody because they've got a screw loose unfortunately no longer is a surprise. And I don't think it ever was. I don't think it's ever been different. That nut bags have existed since the beginning of time and that's just part of the human condition.
- [164:50]
Dale Hellis
You and I talked. I think maybe it was off the air. So I don't even know if I should say it on the air. But there used to be a Place on 24th street in Van Buren. Big place with Bob Wire around it for a lot of years.
- [165:02]
John Holmberg
24Th and Van Buren.
- [165:03]
Dale Hellis
Oh.
- [165:04]
John Holmberg
Oh, yes, yes, I know what you're talking about. Yeah. Okay.
- [165:05]
Dale Hellis
It's no longer there.
- [165:06]
John Holmberg
The nut house. It's still there, but it's not what it was.
- [165:09]
Dale Hellis
So, so, so, so where are they?
- [165:11]
John Holmberg
That's a good question. I don't know that they had a full like exodus, but they don't put them in there like they.
- [165:17]
Dale Hellis
Where are they?
- [165:18]
John Holmberg
Yeah, I had a friend who went there.
- [165:19]
Dale Hellis
Yeah. Just a visit or.
- [165:22]
Brady
With Steve McCollum.
- [165:23]
John Holmberg
Yeah. Yeah. One is a permanent host, a guest on my the. But he went there because he was suffering from a massive amount of schizophrenia and delusion. Okay. His parents put him in there and he said, do I have to stay legally? Absolutely not. You haven't been committed by the state. You can, you can go. And he just left.
- [165:41]
Dale Hellis
Okay.
- [165:42]
John Holmberg
So there's that. Because before now, did he stand out?
- [165:45]
Dale Hellis
Anything? Did he do anything?
- [165:46]
John Holmberg
Well, he grabbed a knife and he tried to cut his own head off one night and failed at it.
- [165:52]
Dale Hellis
So.
- [165:52]
John Holmberg
Yeah. Where are they? Is a good question. Because that's in here.
- [165:55]
Dale Hellis
They're amongst us.
- [165:56]
John Holmberg
They are out there amongst us. And they're starting to lose it, man. And they're losing it more frequently than not. Remember it was just Postman before they've calmed down.
- [166:04]
Dale Hellis
You're. You're the last postal.
- [166:06]
John Holmberg
It used to be the. Oh, he went postal. Nobody even knows what that means.
- [166:10]
Dale Hellis
No.
- [166:10]
John Holmberg
Yeah. So, Dale, it's very interesting that you have a. A kind, compassionate heart. Yes. For people who are awful, but it's just as bad as dogs.
- [166:19]
Dale Hellis
And again, I. I just thought I'd bring that because it was fascinating. Pain to watch. Brooks reaction when the two stories were back to back.
- [166:27]
John Holmberg
I think kids and dogs and old people, it's helplessness. I feel like there's a little more.
- [166:31]
Brady
Helplessness with the dog.
- [166:33]
John Holmberg
That they have to trust us.
- [166:35]
Dale Hellis
Yeah.
- [166:35]
John Holmberg
In order to survive, they have to have us. And for someone to do something terrible to them, it's like, my God, like, what's wrong with that one? If somebody just lost, it's screw loose. Like, I think it's more relatable for a screw to get loose and somebody's. Well, of course he started shooting. He was nuts to begin with. But then you see somebody abusing something that's methodical and, you know, torturous. It's different. It's just different. People are awful. People are awful.
- [166:58]
Dale Hellis
See, John, now, this is entertaining conversation.
- [167:01]
John Holmberg
Is it?
- [167:01]
Dale Hellis
Yeah.
- [167:02]
John Holmberg
That you couldn't sell a Thursday with us. You couldn't. You couldn't sell a Thursday with this. There's no way. Let's talk about, like. So do the Diamondbacks make it? Do you think they push? I think they're gonna get bounced by one game.
- [167:13]
Dale Hellis
Yes. And I'd rather be out by 10 games.
- [167:15]
John Holmberg
But at this point, you gotta be looking at it like you. You almost have to consider. Consider, you know, the general manager and Tory Lavello for end of the year.
- [167:23]
Dale Hellis
Awards for, you know, I wouldn't go that far.
- [167:26]
John Holmberg
Why not? But those moves worked.
- [167:29]
Dale Hellis
The general manager for sure. Not because he's. He's sold on the season.
- [167:33]
John Holmberg
Right. The whole team.
- [167:36]
Brady
Entire league.
- [167:37]
John Holmberg
You're talking about coaching in National League. I'm looking at Tory Lavello. If they make the playoffs, he's coach of the year.
- [167:43]
Dale Hellis
If they make the playoffs.
- [167:44]
John Holmberg
If he makes the playoffs, Craig Counsel and then Pat Murphy up there in Milwaukee. They've got it. But you can't argue you that a dude who had the general manager say, we're getting rid of everybody, this season's over, and he's like, hold my beer. And the next thing you know, they're. They're flirting with and maybe going to the playoffs.
- [168:00]
Dale Hellis
Tell me this. You were at the game last night? I was watching on tv.
- [168:02]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [168:03]
Dale Hellis
Were there more Dodger fans or Diamondback?
- [168:05]
John Holmberg
Yes. And. And Diamondback fans. I've said it before. I'LL say it again. They absolutely suck. They don't know when to cheer. They don't know how to cheer. And I have a. I have a theory as to why is because they were. They were treated like idiots when this franchise started and they still treat them like idiots because they've been prompted by that screen when to cheer. They don't. They don't actually know when to cheer. Two strike counts in tie games in the extra innings, the crowd gets up. You're supposed to get loud. It's supposed to have energy in the.
- [168:34]
Dale Hellis
Room when it's your team out in the field.
- [168:36]
John Holmberg
Dodger fans did it last night. Diamondback fans. The screen would go.
- [168:40]
Brady
It's taking a long time because I've been saying that since 19.
- [168:43]
John Holmberg
They. That's because 98 season screen tells them what to do. So when it says get loud, they go.
- [168:52]
Dale Hellis
Have you ever. The four of us, a quick poll. Have any of you ever looked at the screen to decide how you're going to respond to.
- [169:00]
John Holmberg
No.
- [169:00]
Brett
Absolutely not.
- [169:01]
John Holmberg
No. No. Because I know how to. I know what I'm watching, but that's why I'm there. But when that screen says screen, you'll hear. And then it goes off the screen and everybody sits quiet quietly. So it's, it's. It's Clockwork Orange. They just. Whatever the screen says, they do it until the screen says not to.
- [169:16]
Brady
The crowd was so much better in the first three years. That with Drew. Hey. Batta in there.
- [169:21]
John Holmberg
Yeah. When they had that. Wow. Hey, look, he's wearing a clockwork Orange shirt. I mentioned it. Larry came and showed a shirt.
- [169:27]
Dale Hellis
Anyway.
- [169:27]
John Holmberg
Yeah. Because your wife knows when to cheer.
- [169:29]
Dale Hellis
Yes. And again, I did Rattler games this year. Zone A Rattler, the Indoor Football League team. And the fans in the third quarter would do the wave when they had the ball.
- [169:41]
John Holmberg
They did that last night when they had the ball.
- [169:42]
Dale Hellis
It's like, what. What are you doing?
- [169:45]
John Holmberg
The Wave was going on last night when the Diamondbacks are. They're pitching.
- [169:50]
Brady
A band playing on the warning track.
- [169:51]
John Holmberg
Yeah. I hate it.
- [169:53]
Brett
I hate Arizona fans in general, but.
- [169:56]
John Holmberg
That was my point.
- [169:57]
Brett
Suns with the Cardinals when the Coyotes.
- [170:00]
John Holmberg
Were here because they're.
- [170:03]
Dale Hellis
They're useful.
- [170:04]
John Holmberg
Passive.
- [170:05]
Dale Hellis
Yeah.
- [170:06]
John Holmberg
So that's why they'll never have nice things.
- [170:08]
Brady
Things.
- [170:08]
John Holmberg
They don't care.
- [170:09]
Dale Hellis
There's no fan of the Diamondbacks right now who actually believes that they're going to make the playoffs.
- [170:15]
John Holmberg
Well, if they do, they're a little delusional.
- [170:16]
Dale Hellis
No, but again, that's what a fan base is.
- [170:19]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [170:21]
Dale Hellis
Basis to Be fanatic and be delusional and say, but. But there's nobody in Arizona thinks the dimebag's gonna make the playoffs.
- [170:27]
John Holmberg
And if they do, they'll do what they did in 2023. If they don't make the World Series there, he's like, man, they suck. That's where the fan base stinks. They will not appreciate the idea that this left for dead carcass of a team is possibly in the playoffs. Yeah, it's crazy that they could do it. And I. It's a. I would give Tory Lavella manager of the year and I'd look at the GM and go, I don't know if you meant it, but you might be executive of the year for this, because I don't know what just happened, but everything you've pulled up and put in place has been as far as gone.
- [170:55]
Dale Hellis
Every time you say something smart, then.
- [170:57]
John Holmberg
You say something that's smart, and I don't like that. All right, well, that's from a permanent guest, so who cares? Say the permanent guest of John Holmberg's amazing podcast, the sports thing. It's unreal. You can find it in all your platforms for podcasting and everything else can get on Podbean.
- [171:15]
Dale Hellis
Yeah, I'm a big podbean guy.
- [171:16]
John Holmberg
Podbean. I don't even.
- [171:17]
Dale Hellis
Yeah, you can get it on for sure.
- [171:19]
John Holmberg
I think we're number two on Podbean. Pretty sure. Anyway, you just put John Holmer and it goes to wherever. Wow. And then you put in permanent guest and it has a blank space, but, yeah, it's pretty good. So you can check that out. We'll have another episode after today. We'll get into that. We're going to do some picks, too. I just wanted to ask you something else. Are you. If as a former player, like, what's going on in New York with the Giants and Jackson darts, now the quarterback. Right. After three weeks. Keep in mind how fickle this is. Everybody's fired. He threw for 500 yards a week ago. He has a bad week and they pulled a plug and they put a rookie in. They expect results to be better than what they've gotten, and they're not going to pull the plug on him. Why did we go through this charade?
- [171:59]
Dale Hellis
Because I think you were. I think. I think what day Ball and company were hoping. Number one. It's cya. Oh, they keep a job for another year.
- [172:08]
John Holmberg
He's fired.
- [172:08]
Dale Hellis
Okay. And most likely he's going to be fired. But I think they're trying to get maybe Four or five games because there's. The beginning of their schedule is pretty tough. And then put Jackson dart in. You know, this is. It's exactly like Kurt Warner and Eli Manning.
- [172:24]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [172:24]
Dale Hellis
After three or four games, I mean, Kurt wasn't playing horrendous.
- [172:28]
John Holmberg
He wasn't good, though.
- [172:29]
Dale Hellis
Yeah, he was.
- [172:30]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [172:31]
Dale Hellis
And Russell's had one unbelievable game against a horrible team. Horrible defense.
- [172:37]
John Holmberg
The Dallas Cowboys.
- [172:38]
Dale Hellis
Yeah. Horrible defense.
- [172:39]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [172:40]
Dale Hellis
I can't defend it.
- [172:40]
John Holmberg
No, you shouldn't.
- [172:41]
Dale Hellis
Yeah, I can't.
- [172:42]
John Holmberg
They can't defend it either.
- [172:43]
Dale Hellis
You can't defend your offense line in Pittsburgh.
- [172:45]
John Holmberg
Well, that's fine. They're 2 and 1. They can fix their problem. I don't know, maybe. But Dallas has a thousand.
- [172:51]
Dale Hellis
I'm not. I don't even root for him, John. The further they get away from the glory days, the more special we become.
- [172:58]
John Holmberg
That's very true. And people have described you as special quite a bit. Yeah.
- [173:05]
Brett
We'll be right back.
- [173:06]
John Holmberg
We're gonna take a break. After that permanent guest. There was nothing to say. He was.
- [173:12]
Dale Hellis
He knew.
- [173:12]
Brett
There was nothing to follow.
- [173:13]
John Holmberg
Exclamation. He couldn't because he had to pick up the microphone. I dropped. Dale Hell is here. He's brought to you by our friends over at diamond coating. Diamondcoatings AZ.com get that garage floor first, then work on your pavers. Then get the house paint. They do it all and they'll do it for you. Diamondcoatings AZ.com we'll go with Dale's picks next. It's 98.
- [173:39]
Dale Hellis
Holmberg's morning sickness.
- [173:42]
John Holmberg
Every second was better than the last. There you go. Dale Hellistrace here.
- [173:46]
Dale Hellis
By the way, I was at Moon Valley yesterday.
- [173:50]
John Holmberg
Golf, the country club and your.
- [173:51]
Dale Hellis
And your girl. Now I am known as trouble.
- [173:55]
John Holmberg
Why? Oh, the card for the car girl.
- [173:57]
Dale Hellis
That I said the C word to.
- [173:59]
John Holmberg
I said the C word to it. Why, Dale?
- [174:03]
Dale Hellis
Dale, why'd you get fired?
- [174:04]
John Holmberg
Why? Why? We could get into that little innocent. This is not true. I am innocent. I said C word. And she goes, what word are you talking about? And I said, oh, yeah.
- [174:16]
Dale Hellis
And you said it very loud.
- [174:18]
John Holmberg
And then she goes, I'm glad he said it. And then I said it in a Scottish accent and she got all excited.
- [174:22]
Dale Hellis
Yeah. And then. And now I'm known as trouble around the club.
- [174:26]
John Holmberg
That was before.
- [174:26]
Dale Hellis
Who's a bald headed guy that you brought out here?
- [174:28]
John Holmberg
And they. And I said, dale, like, oh, the other bald guy. That has nothing to do with it. And if she's not. If she's grown up and can't hear the C word. She's not that grown up issue.
- [174:38]
Dale Hellis
Oh, my God. I never said she's grown up. I'm just saying now I'm known as trouble. And you literally had the audacity to look at me and go, why?
- [174:48]
John Holmberg
Why? Why? I agree.
- [174:49]
Dale Hellis
Why you get fired? Why?
- [174:52]
John Holmberg
Why you get fired because of yourself.
- [174:55]
Dale Hellis
You got fired because you're an idiot.
- [174:57]
John Holmberg
Yeah, I didn't get you fired. They were looking for reasons deals out, so. But he's. Now he's the permanent guest on the wildly successful Holgs.
- [175:08]
Dale Hellis
So that's the podcast. It's been called. It's a sports thing now. It's a home bird.
- [175:13]
John Holmberg
I think it's the sports thing or this sports thing. We don't really know the name.
- [175:16]
Dale Hellis
Sport way.
- [175:16]
John Holmberg
But now it's Homberg Sports po. With permanent guest Dale Helis.
- [175:21]
Brady
It's just sports.
- [175:22]
John Holmberg
Yeah. Yeah, that could be it. It doesn't matter what the title is. Holmberg's sports podcast, it's taken off and I think once we cut some dead weight, this thing's gonna go.
- [175:31]
Dale Hellis
Is that Nash you talking?
- [175:33]
John Holmberg
We'll start. We'll start there. We'll get. We'll get to where we go eventually. Last week, Dale, you were the. You and Brett ruined it. Yeah, ruined it by picking the Cowboys over the Bears. And last week, week's pool, brutal defeat for your Cowboys just get just trounced by Bears team.
- [175:53]
Dale Hellis
We could put a flag football team together and score against that defense.
- [175:56]
John Holmberg
Now you say that and then they'll go out and do something with really impressive. They played the Eagles great.
- [176:02]
Dale Hellis
They did, but they. I think that was an aberration. I think the packers are going to just steamroll.
- [176:09]
John Holmberg
Normally people just think. Because you said aberration.
- [176:11]
Brady
If it's a cover, it's six and a half.
- [176:13]
John Holmberg
No, no, no.
- [176:14]
Dale Hellis
Not one chance in hell they come.
- [176:16]
John Holmberg
All right, let's get right to it. We'll start with your Cowboys. Dale, who do they play this week?
- [176:20]
Dale Hellis
The Packers.
- [176:21]
John Holmberg
No, that's right, the Packers. And. And you say you were taking the Packers? Yes, hands down. Brett, your Bears are taking on the Las Vegas Raiders right up here. Did they get you tickets to that game?
- [176:30]
Brett
Of course not.
- [176:30]
John Holmberg
Did you not follow through?
- [176:32]
Dale Hellis
I can't transfer him now. If you'd invited me.
- [176:35]
John Holmberg
What do you mean? I didn't know that was the offer.
- [176:37]
Dale Hellis
Hey, it's just like my brother. My brother, his daughter's flying because she came into some money from her grandmother, passed away flying her and my brother to Dallas. To go to a cowboy game?
- [176:50]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [176:51]
Dale Hellis
Don't invite me. They're going together.
- [176:54]
John Holmberg
Doesn't that say a lot about you?
- [176:55]
Dale Hellis
And then my brother calls me and says, hey, can you help. Help us with some tickets? I'm like, where's the invite?
- [177:01]
John Holmberg
You don't do that, Brett.
- [177:03]
Dale Hellis
That's what Brett did.
- [177:03]
Brett
You want to go see a Bears game?
- [177:06]
Dale Hellis
I. I love that stadium. Have you been to stadium?
- [177:08]
Brett
No, I haven't.
- [177:08]
John Holmberg
Well, why don't you two go together and you get four tickets and you introduced Brett to your wife.
- [177:13]
Dale Hellis
I. I could just get one. I would have no problem.
- [177:17]
John Holmberg
It's worse than. I know he's not. You have. You haven't heard him.
- [177:22]
Dale Hellis
But I know that he would handle himself.
- [177:23]
John Holmberg
So let me tell you this. When you're sitting with your lovely Brooke. Yeah. And Brett's sitting with his wife, and his wife says something like, brett, go get me a beer. And he lifts his hand, he goes, get it yourself for five across the face. Do you think Brooke's gonna be all right with that?
- [177:35]
Dale Hellis
I don't think he would do that.
- [177:36]
John Holmberg
That's exactly what he would do. Would do.
- [177:38]
Dale Hellis
He would be up and what am I say, Brad, if you can get three, grab me one. He would. He would.
- [177:45]
John Holmberg
I don't know what year you think it is, but slavery was banned. Get it yourself, broad. That's what he would say.
- [177:51]
Dale Hellis
And you would handle himself.
- [177:53]
John Holmberg
He would.
- [177:53]
Dale Hellis
Professional.
- [177:54]
John Holmberg
10 times worse than I am for.
- [177:56]
Dale Hellis
3 hours on a Sunday. Now, we wouldn't hang out together.
- [178:00]
John Holmberg
I see how it is. Three hours on a terrible game of. Of who's right and who's wrong.
- [178:05]
Dale Hellis
I mean, marvelous. Couldn't transfer them. I have to be there.
- [178:08]
John Holmberg
So if Dale.
- [178:09]
Dale Hellis
So invite me next.
- [178:11]
John Holmberg
Well, invite him right now. It's not too late. It's Thursday. You guys can make this work.
- [178:15]
Dale Hellis
It's this weekend.
- [178:16]
John Holmberg
Yeah. See, he didn't even check into it. Look at this. Look at this.
- [178:21]
Dale Hellis
He reached out to me 10 days ago. I call. I mean, I emailed them, and they said no. Yes, you could get two tickets to any game. And my buddy John Geese could have gotten his two, but we can't transfer him. Okay, with that, like electronics, you can't.
- [178:36]
John Holmberg
Make a phone call and say, hey, this is a gift for a great friend of mine. You know who I am?
- [178:40]
Brett
I'm Dale.
- [178:40]
John Holmberg
I'm. I'm not gonna be able to make it. I also would say, I'm Dale Hellastray. H E L l. You couldn't call them and say, I'm not Gonna be able to use them. But this means the world to me. If you could just let my friend have no.
- [178:55]
Dale Hellis
Because then everybody does. Does it? And you allow one person tell people.
- [178:59]
John Holmberg
You BS your way through and you get Brett some tickets. You are terrible. You're a terrible friend who didn't try. This is why nobody. This is why nobody says, my pal Dale.
- [179:08]
Dale Hellis
When you sent me the text, I said, I will do my very best. And then you said, okay, I'm just gonna tell Brett you can't get him to quote.
- [179:15]
John Holmberg
Yeah, that's what I said. I did, actually, to quote the song. I guess your best wasn't good enough. So here we are, right where we were before.
- [179:23]
Dale Hellis
But now if Brett would have said, dale, we're going up there next weekend again. Why don't you and your wife come up with us? I. I get 14. I don't know who you're going with.
- [179:30]
Brett
My wife.
- [179:31]
Dale Hellis
Yeah, the four of us would have a good time. We go have now.
- [179:34]
Brett
He comes up with.
- [179:35]
John Holmberg
It's easy.
- [179:37]
Brett
If I'd have known that.
- [179:38]
Dale Hellis
I mean, you could have gone. You might have been going with one of your west side friends.
- [179:41]
John Holmberg
Don't hang out on the west side, first of all. No, I don't hang out with west side.
- [179:49]
Dale Hellis
What are your machete buddy.
- [179:51]
John Holmberg
All right, well, the game you're not going to see in person, as you kind of of had your hopes on that one. But Dale didn't come through taking the bears or the Raiders.
- [179:59]
Brett
Bears got lots of injuries and. But both one and two. I'll.
- [180:04]
John Holmberg
I'll go with my Bears. Going with the Bears again. All right, baby.
- [180:10]
Brett
The Raiders haven't shown me nothing either, so this is going to be a real barn burner.
- [180:15]
John Holmberg
Brady Broncos. Yeah, I was going to say, do we even. Do we even need to do this for the rest of the year? They're not going to win another game. Game. Oh, they will steal one.
- [180:24]
Dale Hellis
And I just hope it's that one where he's the only one, because I would love to see 25 come out of Brady's.
- [180:30]
John Holmberg
Oh, that would be kind of fun. No, it's going to be crowbars and WD40 to get it out of there.
- [180:34]
Dale Hellis
Yeah, I'll pin him down. Do you grab his wallet?
- [180:36]
John Holmberg
Yeah. My Steelers are playing the Vikings in Ireland. And the only reason. Yes, 6:00am the only reason to get together. Oh, yeah. We might be having a slumber party Saturday night. Sleep it off. Drink.
- [180:47]
Dale Hellis
Also breakfast food.
- [180:48]
John Holmberg
We're ordering that up right now. Well, we got some. None of your Business. Really.
- [180:52]
Dale Hellis
Well, I'm not. I'm not coming.
- [180:53]
John Holmberg
I know. You're damn right you're not coming over. Yeah, I know. Well, we're both aware of that.
- [180:58]
Dale Hellis
Unless I spend the night.
- [180:59]
John Holmberg
No, that's not happening either. But I'm going to give the nod to the Steelers only because of the emotional factor, that Dan Rooney, former. Well, owner, but passed away, was the ambassador of the United States to Ireland. And we have a huge following following in Ireland because of that. So I think the crowd's going to be heavy. Steelers, I think. But that's. It's a tough one. It's a whole.
- [181:22]
Dale Hellis
Not gonna know when to cheer, either.
- [181:23]
John Holmberg
It's a home game in Ireland. A. Steeler fans will know. A lot of people mix. People travel. No, the mix. The mix will be in the. They'll be doing. Just cheering along at the same time. So Steeler fans will direct us. I'm gonna take my Steelers. So we got the Steelers. We got everybody picked against their teams except Brett and I. And that means the one guy that if there's one miss, you pay everybody the $25 that. That you.
- [181:46]
Dale Hellis
Yes.
- [181:47]
John Holmberg
All right, deal.
- [181:48]
Dale Hellis
And we all have different picks because last week, Brett and I, we saved each other.
- [181:51]
John Holmberg
Yeah. So basically, this is only a plus. Wow. Is that right? That can't be right. That can't be.
- [181:58]
Brett
It says it's a dual saying.
- [182:00]
John Holmberg
Man, oh, man, that's not good. Somehow I'm not. I'm not betting this. We got to change our bets. This thing doesn't pay a penny. Let's try again here. That can't be right.
- [182:09]
Dale Hellis
Well, we all took favorites.
- [182:11]
John Holmberg
No, the Bears weren't the favorite.
- [182:14]
Brett
I thought it was. Wasn't it Almost even.
- [182:16]
John Holmberg
I guess we did kind of all take favor. You guys don't have any faith in your teams at all?
- [182:20]
Dale Hellis
No, I mean, six and a half points. You're not getting anything on that. You take the Packers.
- [182:24]
John Holmberg
No, that's bad. Yeah, it's a minus 330. So we'll actually just make 70 bucks on this thing, but that's fine. Yeah, whatever.
- [182:31]
Dale Hellis
I'm cheering for one of your two teams. So I get. So I could win 25 back.
- [182:35]
John Holmberg
We'll actually get more that way.
- [182:37]
Dale Hellis
Your 25 would be better. Better than the 20 I get from the bat?
- [182:42]
John Holmberg
We get more from that.
- [182:43]
Dale Hellis
Yes.
- [182:44]
John Holmberg
It's terrible. Anyway. Oh, it's a plus 615. Okay, never mind. Good. There we go. All right.
- [182:49]
Brett
Did you hit the wrong button?
- [182:50]
John Holmberg
Yeah, I just had the other. I had another bed on There. Okay, we're good.
- [182:53]
Dale Hellis
We're good. So how much can we win?
- [182:54]
John Holmberg
600. Well, it'll be five because I'm taking my hundred investment out because you're not kicking in a penny.
- [182:59]
Dale Hellis
What are you talking about?
- [183:01]
Brett
Well, you got to put the money down.
- [183:02]
John Holmberg
Yeah. You got to bet you're not just.
- [183:03]
Dale Hellis
Going to win off don't just sucker after John.
- [183:06]
John Holmberg
Well that's the way the world. That is how everything come on. Here's two things I know Brett and I think you when. When someone pays for your bet, you suck that out of the wind. Right. And number two, when someone says hey can you get me tickets? And you say yes, you get those tickets.
- [183:20]
Dale Hellis
That's how the world so good at doing that.
- [183:22]
John Holmberg
Right. I get. Does Brett need tickets for me right now?
- [183:25]
Brett
No.
- [183:25]
John Holmberg
Okay, well. And you do. I'll get them for you. But if I say I can.
- [183:28]
Brett
Thank you.
- [183:30]
John Holmberg
You want me to get tickets to the Bears and Raiders this weekend? I'll just buy them for you.
- [183:39]
Dale Hellis
Are you still going?
- [183:41]
Brett
No, I had all my hopes and dreams pinned.
- [183:44]
Dale Hellis
Here's the thing I love about you is that it's you're a nice enough guy that there was no heart in that dig right there.
- [183:52]
John Holmberg
No, there really wasn't.
- [183:52]
Dale Hellis
There was no heart. You didn't come across like you met that at all.
- [183:56]
John Holmberg
Not at all.
- [184:01]
Dale Hellis
What are you looking at?
- [184:02]
John Holmberg
This one says John. Finally a great way to hear Dale talk sports just beyond Thursdays on hms. I'm so glad you're giving him a start in sports talk business by making him a permanent guest on your sports podcast. Someone finally need to give him a chance.
- [184:15]
Dale Hellis
Yeah.
- [184:17]
John Holmberg
WTSM TV programming girl. Well done. Well done. It's not weird. It's pretty cool actually. No members. I have heard enough of this.
- [184:32]
Dale Hellis
Morning sickness.
- [184:33]
John Holmberg
The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. It's time for the entertainment drill. It's brought to you by our friends@reactdefense.com the home of tactical black self defense training. And again Brady Dale brought it up. The machete guys that Brett hangs out with on the west, they were at it again last night. Night Machete attacks Dale in Phoenix. It's common.
- [184:57]
Dale Hellis
Yeah, it's weird.
- [184:58]
John Holmberg
We've trained against machete attacks. I thought for no reason whatsoever other than to just say we train against machete attacks at react defense. And I've seen 20 stories in the last few years of machete attacks in Phoenix.
- [185:11]
Brady
Now I'm. I'm going to carry a machete around.
- [185:14]
Guest Female
You can.
- [185:15]
John Holmberg
Evidently. And I didn't know this. You can just buy them at Walmart in the camping department. They're not even in a case.
- [185:20]
Brady
That's what I have. And a. A bucket.
- [185:22]
Brett
I bought one at Home Depot.
- [185:23]
Dale Hellis
What's for?
- [185:24]
Brady
To.
- [185:24]
Brett
To chop down, like, hedges and stuff.
- [185:28]
Dale Hellis
What about campers?
- [185:31]
Brady
And then I have.
- [185:32]
John Holmberg
What do you need a machete for? You're not doing anything.
- [185:35]
Brady
Pruning some of the trees.
- [185:36]
John Holmberg
You're not pruning. Prune. You call the HOA Master pruning? Yeah.
- [185:43]
Dale Hellis
I got your prune.
- [185:44]
John Holmberg
The only thing that you prune is your fingers. In the pool. Jackass. In the tub.
- [185:50]
Guest Female
I can't get up. I can't get up. I'm pruning.
- [185:53]
Dale Hellis
Honey. Take my rubber duck.
- [185:55]
John Holmberg
Pruning with a machete. That thing's pristine.
- [185:59]
Brady
It is.
- [185:59]
John Holmberg
Yeah. I know. Because it doesn't get used. Anyway. Machete attacks. They're out there. And you'd think that you wouldn't have to think about it again. You have fire alarms in your house. You probably have a. You know, some sort of a deterrent for thieves on your house. And you don't call it paranoid when you do that. That. It's called preparation. It's called being ready. Same thing with self defense. You get on this thing. React defense. They'll teach you how to do that. Don't be a victim. Start becoming a sheepdog and stop being a sheep. Machete attacks. It's all you need to think about. It happens. It's crazy. He had one on a kid. Guy was going to hit a kid with a machete and the cop shot him. Yeah. It's insane. They're available. So defend yourself from all the lunacy that is around us. And it's around us. Like Dale said. They took down the barbed wire fire and they let him out. Where are they?
- [186:45]
Dale Hellis
Nobody knows.
- [186:46]
John Holmberg
No one knows. Except for they're out there somewhere and they might be in front of you one day. Make sure you're ready. Reactdefense.com it's the home of Tactical Black Brady Entertainment.
- [186:56]
Brady
We had a medical scare for William Shatner.
- [186:59]
John Holmberg
I saw that.
- [187:00]
Brady
Scary went into the hospital. But it ended up being low blood sugar. So they released him right away. Didn't have to stay overnight.
- [187:08]
John Holmberg
Yeah. He's 94. 94.
- [187:10]
Brady
94.
- [187:11]
John Holmberg
You don't want to start screwing around with, like, blood sugar, your irregularities when you're 94. Because that means your body stopped doing stuff. You don't like that.
- [187:19]
Dale Hellis
Do you want to be around at night?
- [187:20]
John Holmberg
No. I Don't want to be around now. No, I've had enough now. I'm looking at you right now. That's about enough.
- [187:27]
Dale Hellis
Well that's, that's 10 more years on you.
- [187:30]
John Holmberg
No, I, I, I said it the other day. That lady that was golfing at 105, yuck. Somebody knock her in the lake. It's over.
- [187:37]
Dale Hellis
When I went through all my heart stuff, I think I told you May we were golfing and gave my final checkup with the cardiologist. And you, your heart's great. You're in good shape. There's not going to be your heart that gets you. You got 25 more years. My wife Brooke looks at me and goes, Only 25. I said I'm going to be 88 years old.
- [187:53]
John Holmberg
Your heart, your knees and your hips and your ankles. I've seen you walk. Your heart, your heart's doing you a disservice letting this continue. Yeah, I agree. 94 sounds awful.
- [188:06]
Brady
Leonardo DiCaprio almost went by the name Lenny Williams but his father stepped in and stopped it from happening. His manager at the time.
- [188:16]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [188:16]
Brady
Said I don't think you should tell you this that name because it's too.
- [188:20]
John Holmberg
It'S common, too ethnic. Lenny Williams is too Leonardo DiCaprio. Oh, he didn't want him to icy.
- [188:26]
Brady
His agent was saying we gotta change your name.
- [188:28]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [188:29]
Brady
He came up with Lenny Williams because his, his middle name is Widdlehelm.
- [188:37]
Dale Hellis
You say Wilhelm or Widdlehelm?
- [188:39]
Brady
Wilhelm.
- [188:39]
John Holmberg
Wilhelm, yeah.
- [188:41]
Brady
Because his mom's German dad was Italian. But then they changed.
- [188:46]
John Holmberg
You know, history tells you one thing, when the Germans and Italians to get together that good things happen.
- [188:51]
Dale Hellis
Brady. What's your name?
- [188:52]
Brett
With DiCaprio?
- [188:53]
John Holmberg
That's true.
- [188:55]
Brady
That's David Brady.
- [188:57]
Dale Hellis
Why don't you go by David?
- [188:58]
Brady
That's never went by David.
- [188:59]
John Holmberg
I don't know why? Because they're goofy. His parents named him David Brady and then called him Brady from the get go. Nobody gets it. He, he asked no questions, so he has no answers.
- [189:10]
Brady
Crush of my mom's David.
- [189:12]
John Holmberg
So she wanted to put that. Yeah, so she wanted.
- [189:17]
Dale Hellis
I don't know.
- [189:17]
John Holmberg
Let me. Yeah, okay. So she wanted to put that on an infant.
- [189:20]
Dale Hellis
What's your middle name?
- [189:21]
John Holmberg
That's disgusting.
- [189:22]
Brady
Well then your mom.
- [189:23]
John Holmberg
Yeah, my mom picked the name of someone because she hated my dad at the time because he wanted to name me Alvar. And my mom's like no, no, John. She picked a basic one. The first name that came to mind was a guy in her high school. Is that true that she was dating? Yeah. But I don't know that that was who she thought of. But then when we saw a bunch of stuff from my mom's high school, we went through my grandma's house, and one of the bags she had made was a homemade bag, had Marcy loves John and John all over it. And she's like, oh, that was a boyfriend in high school. And I'm like, am I named after this guy? She goes, no, but it was a name that, you know, popped up. They're like, oh, my God. I just like the name my mom named me after the dude that nailed her and popped her cherry or something. W egg runs through your mind, Dale.
- [190:04]
Dale Hellis
I know when we named our daughters, I want to. Number one. I don't want anything to rhyme with it. The kids can make fun of them, right? Hillary and Kendall, dare you to come up with something that can rhyme with it. That's derogatory.
- [190:17]
John Holmberg
Give me. Give me a minute. Yeah.
- [190:20]
Dale Hellis
So what, your first name is John, Middle name Daniel.
- [190:24]
Brett
Curtis. Because I'm named after my dad and my.
- [190:26]
John Holmberg
Yeah, might same with me.
- [190:27]
Dale Hellis
And your first name is?
- [190:28]
John Holmberg
Bert. Brett. Brett.
- [190:30]
Dale Hellis
Why do you call him Bert?
- [190:31]
John Holmberg
Because it's. Just switch the spelling a little. How long have you been here?
- [190:34]
Dale Hellis
Shorter.
- [190:35]
John Holmberg
It's the same words. What are you doing? Just switch a couple letters. He's Bert. I switch him sometimes.
- [190:42]
Brady
Come on, Dell.
- [190:43]
John Holmberg
It's easier to just. And people think it's, you know, Brad or Brent. It's easier. Bert's easier. Nobody confuses Bert. What's yours?
- [190:51]
Dale Hellis
Dale Robert.
- [190:52]
Brett
Okay.
- [190:52]
Dale Hellis
Dale Robert. Named after my uncle.
- [190:55]
John Holmberg
Dale Robert.
- [190:55]
Brady
Dale's got a big story.
- [190:57]
John Holmberg
Knock it out.
- [190:57]
Brett
Hurry up again.
- [190:58]
John Holmberg
We got a podcast. We got a podcast to do. I got a lot on my mind, so I.
- [191:02]
Dale Hellis
What I'm doing now with Brady's story is I try not to look at them so I can just pull them up. Great.
- [191:07]
John Holmberg
This will go surprise. Perfect. They always lack of preparation. Yeah.
- [191:10]
Dale Hellis
Kind of do like Brady does.
- [191:12]
John Holmberg
That's true.
- [191:13]
Dale Hellis
How did Cardi B, One of your favorites, lose her butt crack ring?
- [191:19]
John Holmberg
Johnny, how did she lose her butt crack ring? First off, I didn't know she had it.
- [191:24]
Dale Hellis
Crack piercing.
- [191:25]
John Holmberg
Yeah. I didn't know how she lost it because I didn't know it was in there.
- [191:28]
Dale Hellis
Are you sure you didn't know?
- [191:29]
John Holmberg
I didn't know she had a butt.
- [191:31]
Dale Hellis
You know all.
- [191:31]
John Holmberg
I do know most things, but especially in the world.
- [191:34]
Brady
You didn't catch that one.
- [191:35]
John Holmberg
Yeah, I didn't. This one's. This one you guys have put one over.
- [191:39]
Brady
That's Dale's inside.
- [191:41]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [191:41]
Dale Hellis
Idiotic story.
- [191:42]
John Holmberg
Okay.
- [191:43]
Dale Hellis
All right. Back in January, Cardi B. Revealed that she got a $13,000 diamond butt crack piercing. Okay, what butt cracks were 13,000?
- [191:56]
John Holmberg
One with $13,000 diamond in it.
- [191:58]
Dale Hellis
She even posted a picture of it on whatever. On whatever social media. Unfortunately, she lost it a month later on the call her daddy podcast, she said, quote, I realized, oh, it was.
- [192:11]
John Holmberg
During a poop, wasn't it?
- [192:12]
Dale Hellis
I realized I was like, hold up. I was looking around. I was looking at my pants and my panties and stuff, and I'm like, you know?
- [192:19]
John Holmberg
Yep.
- [192:20]
Dale Hellis
Went down the toilet. How big of a poop is that?
- [192:23]
John Holmberg
Have you seen her butt?
- [192:25]
Brett
What kind of pig talks about taking a dump? She's a real.
- [192:28]
John Holmberg
She's a pig. She's a piece.
- [192:29]
Dale Hellis
Come on. You lose a $13,000 ring, she's doing all right.
- [192:33]
John Holmberg
That's nothing. That's like. That's like.
- [192:35]
Dale Hellis
That's like you buying a buck.
- [192:37]
John Holmberg
That's like me losing like a $10,000. No, she's. She's got some cash. She's all right. That 13 grand in her ass was peanuts.
- [192:45]
Dale Hellis
So she finish it off. I practically did a tummy tuck on my ass ass. So like the top of my ass, that skin part is numb. So when I pierce my ass, I ain't feel nothing. It was the easiest piercing ever.
- [193:01]
John Holmberg
Good quote, Dale. Johnny, you read that like she was here.
- [193:03]
Dale Hellis
Johnny, I think you need to get one.
- [193:05]
John Holmberg
I would do that. Sounds like a diamond. Look at her ass.
- [193:09]
Brett
Here's her ass down.
- [193:10]
John Holmberg
It's. Oh, geez.
- [193:13]
Dale Hellis
Oh, yeah. We're gonna see the piercing.
- [193:14]
John Holmberg
Yeah. That's the thing. It's needed more of in the third. 13 needed a 13, 000 carat diamond. Wow. It's large. Wow. Wow. Yeah. Okay, she's set up back there.
- [193:24]
Dale Hellis
That's enough.
- [193:26]
John Holmberg
Look at that one.
- [193:27]
Brady
It's nice.
- [193:28]
John Holmberg
Brady likes that. Brady likes a big, thick. Yeah.
- [193:32]
Brady
Oh, man.
- [193:33]
John Holmberg
Freddie likes the thick ass.
- [193:37]
Guest Female
I like a fat rump roast. I like to rub it down, smack it.
- [193:44]
John Holmberg
Yeah, that's it. All right, Dale, that's it. We got to go do a podcast or you got to do mine. Podcast, I should say.
- [193:48]
Dale Hellis
Are you inviting me on?
- [193:49]
John Holmberg
If you'd like to be on my podcast this week, I'll do another one here. Started about 11. We'll get that going. That's it for us. We're done. You're going to EOS tonight? Yeah. Which one?
- [193:59]
Brett
Via Delinda Scottsdale. Yeah.
- [194:02]
John Holmberg
On Via. On Hayden?
- [194:03]
Brett
I believe so.
- [194:04]
John Holmberg
Yeah, that's right.
- [194:04]
Dale Hellis
So it's Via Linda. There's no day.
- [194:07]
John Holmberg
It's via Linda. Yeah, I was gonna say via Day.
- [194:11]
Brett
I thought it would be a differentia.
- [194:12]
John Holmberg
But it might be. Let me look.
- [194:14]
Dale Hellis
And a muscle shirt.
- [194:15]
Brett
Vinda and Frank Lloyd Wright.
- [194:17]
John Holmberg
Oh, okay. You're up there. Okay, There you go. Five to seven will be up there giving away a whole bunch of KUPD stuff and. And memberships.
- [194:24]
Dale Hellis
I think you should take a picture. Tights, muscle shirt.
- [194:27]
John Holmberg
Yeah, I'm gonna do that filter. Dress like. Like match Macho Man Savage. Brett will be out in the parking lot watching you work out. Yeah, that's how that'll work. I'll get you all hooked up. That's it. We're done. You guys have yourselves a glorious Thursday. We'll see you tomorrow on the morning sickness. Hola. It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees. I have heard enough of this. Not great with finances.
- [194:52]
Guest Female
That's okay.
- [194:52]
John Holmberg
Experian is your big financial friend. Explore credit card offers, some labeled no Ding decline, which means if you're not approved, they won't hurt your credit scores. See experian.com for details. Applying for no Ding. Declined cards won't hurt your credit scores if you aren't initially approved. 2025 Experian. Experian.