Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Arizona

Episode: 09-26-25 - BR - FRI - Woman Sues Hershey Over Halloween Candy, Study On Smart Appliance Reliability, Mangoes & Men’s Health Science News, Shark Safe Suits

Date: September 26, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo, Female Co-host

Episode Overview

Today's episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness features a cavalcade of offbeat news items, comedic banter, and irreverent takes on the week's stories. Highlights include a woman’s failed lawsuit against Hershey over “not scary” Halloween candy, a study revealing smart appliances' reliability issues, surprising science news on mangoes and men’s health, new shark-resistant wetsuits, and the crew’s usual riffing, including their delightfully absurd “Brady Report.” This episode is high-energy, packed with punchy one-liners, pop culture jabs, and, as usual, more boundary-pushing video descriptions.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Cracker Barrel, Pancake Day, and “Feeling Like Crackers”

• The hosts open by riffing on various food-themed holidays (03:16), pancake specials, and the experience of eating at Cracker Barrel.
• Cracker Barrel's attempted gentrification becomes a comedic launching pad:
  • “People who wear overalls out of their house aren’t gonna feel comfortable if you start making the Cracker Barrel look like anything more than... the Boar’s Nest. It has to look hillbilly for them to feel comfortable… Crackers like feeling like crackers.” (Brett, 03:56)
• Humor on comfort and tradition, with playful stereotypes about customers rejecting change.

2. Fun Facts & Pop Culture Laughs

• Oldest hotel in the world revealed (Japan's Nishiyama Onsen Kyokin, founded 705 AD), sparking jabs at Toledo’s brief trip to Japan (05:19).
• Discussion on age perception of Japanese people and K-pop stars’ “ageless” looks:
  • “I don’t know, the Asian girl might be 9 or 44, I can’t tell.” (Brett, 06:21)
• Left-handed kangaroos and boxing analogies (07:08).
• New dictionary terms:
  • “The real one—Hard pass. Riz.” (Doug, 08:23)
  • “I bet you Kirby says rizz to Brady 100%.” (Brett, 08:32)

3. Woman Sues Hershey Over “Not Scary” Halloween Candy

(09:20–11:12)

• Story Recap: Cynthia Kelly sued Hershey for $5 million, claiming their pumpkin-shaped Reese’s lacked “cool carved designs” as pictured. Case got tossed.
• Reaction:
  • “She threw a fit right at Halloween last year.” (Brett, 09:36)
  • “Tell her to go home and talk to her husband... but we all know she doesn’t have one of those.” (Brett, 09:55)
  • “The products were not rendered worthless. In fact, they’re delicious.” (Judge, paraphrased by Doug, 10:14)
• Peanut butter cup ratios and the mini-vs-regular debate: “There’s nothing about the design of a Reese’s cup that’s bad. It’s the combination. And they’re the only ones that get it right.” (Brett, 10:23)

4. Smart Appliance Reliability Study

(11:21–13:54)

• J.D. Power research: Smart (Bluetooth/Wi-Fi enabled) appliances have 87 problems per 100, worse than non-smart at 63/100 (11:41).
• Confusion over whether that’s percentage–leads to playful math arguments:
  • “I’m just trying to straighten out stories.” (Brett, 12:25)
  • “You are the messenger of the information.” (Brett, 13:33)
  • Laughter over Brady’s supposed “math skills” (14:00).

5. Science News: Mangoes, Prostate Cancer & Shark Suits

(14:10–19:13)

Mangoes & Metabolism:

• Daily mango eaters have better blood sugar and less body fat than those eating lower-sugar snacks (14:33).

Men’s Health – Prostate Cancer Testing:

• New urine-based test to detect prostate cancer is a potential substitute for invasive exams.
• Brett riffs on doctors not giving up the “finger test”:
  • “They’re only fingering us because they like the power... I’ve seen through it for years.” (Brett, 15:13)

Urine Color and Stress:

• Darker morning urine signals dehydration and higher stress (16:18).
  • “I would use my urine as house paint. When you take vitamins, you look at your pee and it’s like, ‘oh, that’s beautiful.’” (Brett, 16:33)

Shark-Safe Wetsuits:

• New materials may lessen shark bite trauma, but Brett is skeptical:
  • “If somebody says, put this shark bite uniform on, I’m not getting in. There’s sharks in there...” (Brett, 17:32)
  • “I spent 53 years not even being in the slightest bit of shark bite peril...” (Brett, 17:46)

Leopard Shark Threesome:

• For the first time, endangered leopard sharks observed mating in the wild—“even better, they witnessed them having a threesome. Two males and one female.” (Doug, 19:10)
  • Brett: “Now they’re doing it to where they’re, like, adding in shark dicks.” (19:32)

6. Oddball Crime: Stealing 91 Manhole Covers

(19:48–23:25)

• Kalyn Watley in Georgia steals 91 manhole covers in his Nissan Kick.
  • Group guesses the suspect’s background based on stereotypes, then learn he’s Black:
    • “That seems like a white guy crime... Well, good. Martin Luther King's dreams coming true. We can’t guess the crime as easily as we used to.” (Brett, 23:48)
  • Laughter at the improbability of a Nissan Kick as a “getaway car.”

7. Bachelorette Buys Billboard: marrylisa.com

(23:56–27:06)

• Woman in San Francisco, Lisa Catalano, tired of dating apps, buys billboard to find a husband.
  • “She’s not that bad looking... but it’s not, you know, should-be-alone-for-the-rest-of-her-life face.” (Brett, 24:17)
  • “If you’ve got to put a billboard out that says ‘marry me’, you just need to... start learning to tell better stories. Be a better communicator.” (Brett, 24:56)
• Listeners and hosts judge her personality via her videos and jokingly consider applying.
  • “You kiss her on the first date … she’s gonna want a ring by the third date.” (Brett, 25:54)
  • “41, never been married, no kids—there’s baby fever on board…” (Brett, 28:42)

8. Viral Videos: Wheelies, Extreme, and NSFW

(27:14–around 36:00)

• Classic rapid-fire “Brady Report” videos: A disastrous motorcycle wheelie, graphic poop incidents, shocking bodily stunts, and NSFW antics—delivered with disgusted fascination.
• Wheelie banter:
  • “Why do people think wheelies are fun after like age 12? Is there any woman out there who’s ever seen a wheelie and went, ‘that’s my man’?” (Brett, 27:52)
  • “No woman’s ever moistened up from wheelie. And if she has, her name is Lisa, and you can find her at marrylisa.com.” (Brett, 28:42)
  • Satire on wheelies as “impressive” to women, ending with “If you don’t do a wheelie out of the parking lot, you have to sell it. The flock of sorority girls that would start following you around would just be uncomfortable.” (Brett, 36:14)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Cracker Barrel:
  • “Crackers like feeling like crackers. And they cannot walk in and realize you gotta have a button up shirt...” (Brett, 03:56)
• On Reese’s lawsuit:
  • “She’s just sitting at home stewing over Rees designed.” (Brett, 09:55)
• On Smart Appliances:
  • “You are the messenger of the information.” (Brett, 13:33)
• On Shark Suits:
  • “That’s how you don’t get bit by sharks. You stop around where sharks are.” (Brett, 17:34)
• On baby fever dating:
  • “She’s 41, never been married, no kids—there’s baby fever on board…” (Brett, 28:42)
• On wheelies:
  • “No woman’s ever moistened up from wheelie. And if she has, her name is Lisa, and you can find her at marrylisa.com.” (Brett, 28:42)
• On stereotype-breaking criminal:
  • “Martin Luther King’s dreams coming true. We can’t guess the crime as easily as we used to.” (Brett, 23:48)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Cracker Barrel & Pancake Day Banter: 03:16–05:02
• Fun Facts (Japan’s hotel, kangaroos): 05:02–07:33
• Hershey Halloween Lawsuit: 09:20–11:12
• Smart Appliance Reliability Study: 11:21–13:54
• Science News Section: 14:10–19:13
• Manhole Cover Theft Story: 19:48–23:25
• Billboard Bachelorette: 23:56–27:06
• Wheelies & Viral Video Banter: 27:14–36:14

Summary

This episode balances pop culture laughs with weird news and gross-out video comedy, all filtered through HMS’s rowdy, irreverent style. Bret and crew are especially playful, poking fun at everything from Halloween candy lawsuits and failing Wi-Fi fridges to the supposed sex appeal of wheelies, with some of the show’s best comedy stemming from their delight in the absurd and the awkward. Regulars and new listeners alike will find the over-the-top, unfiltered banter quintessential HMS.