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Damon Wayans Jr.
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Keenen Ivory Wayans
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Podcast Announcer
All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Head downtown to Stand Up Live Thursday to see Ashley Gavin and Stephen Ho on Friday and Saturday. The Desert Ridge Improv up North features Aaron Weber all week long and East Siders. The Tempe Improv has Mikey Winfield on Thursday and Ashley Gavin finishes her week in Tempe on Friday and Saturday. For the complete lineups and for tank tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com.
Damon Wayans Jr.
And Doug, here we have the Limu Emu in its natural habitat, helping people customize their car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual. Fascinating. It's accompanied by his natural ally, Doug Limu. Is that guy with the binoculars watching us. Cut the camera. They see us.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Only pay for what you need@liberty mutual.com. liberty, liberty, liberty. Liberty Savings. Very underwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance Company affiliates. Excludes Massachusetts Holberg's morning sickness.
Damon Wayans Sr.
The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail.
Damon Wayans Jr.
I'm going to throw up. Yeah, this was. We should have filmed all that and just put that on. That would have gone Damon Wayans Jr. Series at Stand Up Live tonight and tomorrow. And we just showed you some videos and hip you to what's going on in the great city of Phoenix. Welcome, welcome.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Yeah, that's local stuff.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Oh, God, I hope not. But that's my theory. My theory is that yes, there's a lot of foreign stuff, but there's an awful lot of English speaking going on in these terrible videos we watch.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Damon Wayans Jr.
So we showed Damon the. The girl snorting and then the Rosebud, the fat girl rosebud with blue cheese inside. And you had never seen any of that before.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Also never been harder.
Damon Wayans Jr.
It's hard to rectify why that happen. Happens.
Damon Wayans Sr.
But it does.
Damon Wayans Jr.
I've been in on that. But I mean, it's. But again, fully. Right, you're from LA20. If you were. What? If you were. I gotta look. Okay, good. He's kidding. He's kidding everybody. Wouldn't it be great if we did show somebody one of those and they're like, yeah, yeah, like slow that down. You'll be like Brian Posayn or something. You'd be like, oh, yeah, that doesn't surprise me.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Yeah, that's Debbie.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Oh, I Know her. But yeah, it's just. And again. Debbie.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Damon Wayans Jr.
The city. City of 5 million. It's going on right now. Somebody is having a prolapse, Danis. Right now.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
And then why record it?
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Damon Wayans Jr.
For the masses.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
They need to see it.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Because social media, we're all important. Anything that's happening to us, I would like it. Because pretty soon it's just going to be somebody's prolapsed ass and then they're going to be like, free Palestine. Like, they're going to have a political flag.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Oh, goodness.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Damon Wayans Jr.
It's just weird.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Anyway, what I will say is I do like how everyone is a conspiracy theorist now.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Oh, my God.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
I think that's great.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Like, because I felt alone initially. Like when I was like 2009, 2010, talking about 9, 11 was an inside job.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Damon Wayans Jr.
You know, and now you're just one of the normal.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Well, yeah.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Now my grandma's like, what about Building 7?
Damon Wayans Jr.
Everyone. It's freaking a conspiracy theory. Do you have any that you still haven't? Like that everybody's still like, Damon might be off.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
No, no, now. Now we're all. Everybody's even playing field. Flat earth.
Damon Wayans Jr.
No, it's round.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Not. Not quite. You know what? The theory, I'll consider it.
Damon Wayans Jr.
But, yeah, I would look into it. I'll ask questions about pretty much anything. I'm leaning pretty heavy against flat earth. One that I do stand by and people just don't know. And I don't have an answer as to why is that. I don't think Helen Keller did anything.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Oh, I kind of heard that.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Damon Wayans Jr.
I started years ago. And then the Internet started. Like, I've been on this page for a long time. She was 5 and couldn't say water.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Right.
Damon Wayans Jr.
And when she was 11, she won a Pulitzer Prize.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Yeah, I would. I would. I would agree.
Damon Wayans Jr.
And then she was blind and she was. And deaf. And they also.
Guest or Additional Panelist
And her handler, what was her and.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Sullivan, they used to always throw in the word dumb, too. Remember that she was blind, deaf and dumb.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Well, yeah, that was kind of back in the day, you could say.
Damon Wayans Jr.
You can say people are dumb.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Is that gone Deaf and dumb. I feel like it's a little extra unnecessary. Dumb is unnecessary.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Obviously she's dumb. She's just an idiot.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah. Yeah.
Damon Wayans Jr.
She's going through a lot. Why are we throwing that on? But that language that her and her friend invented.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Yeah.
Damon Wayans Jr.
There's been a blind and deaf guy since. And nobody's ever broke that out again.
Guest or Additional Panelist
That if it was the greatest, if.
Damon Wayans Jr.
This Invention think that people who are blind and a little bit hard of hearing, it.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Could you teach me the Keller Sullivan thing? And I'm like, no. Yeah. And then you just start screaming, wawa. And we got to add dumb again, you know?
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Well, he's not deaf, but he's blind. Stevie Wonder. He wrote all his own music.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Like, and he's been selling platinum records.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Since he was 13, when you could hear it.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Yeah, true.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Damon Wayans Jr.
If he was painting, I'd be impressed.
Guest or Additional Panelist
That's right.
Damon Wayans Jr.
I mean, the dude started a house painting company, and he was. I show up on my own. Like, you're. You're doing this. Where's your crowd? Yeah. I do it myself. I'm like, oh, my God. And he does a great job. Like, this is incredible.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
I'd love to take him to, like, a strip club.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Oh, he had better seats.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
I mean, I would just take all the money that he throws out and just, like, pocket it.
Guest or Additional Panelist
She's loving it.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
She loves it. Steve, who's the comedian? Shirt open. Like.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Stevie, who's. Who's the comedian? No, no, no, no, no. It was the comedian that does the old Spice commercials. He was in Blackish.
Guest or Additional Panelist
Oh, yeah.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Who?
Keenen Ivory Wayans
I'm talking about Dion Cole.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Dion Cole?
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Yeah.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Dion was in here, and he had a girl he took to a Stevie Wonder concert, and Stevie took her away.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Wow.
Damon Wayans Jr.
And because somebody saw her in the front, he said, get me that girl from the stage.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
How did he.
Damon Wayans Jr.
That's what. Dion doesn't think he's really blind because he said he wasn't allowed.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
He's pointing right at her.
Damon Wayans Jr.
And he had a guy go, Mr. Wonder would like to meet you.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Wow.
Damon Wayans Jr.
What? And then. So Dion stood outside the dressing room. Stevie had her in for like a.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Half an hour, and she, like, came out with, like, beads in her hand pushing her ass.
Guest or Additional Panelist
I don't think she came back out.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Like a pre sun draw.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Damon Wayans Jr.
But yeah, the blind and deaf thing, I'm like, you'd think that that would. There's been that since. And that's all gone. And then she wrote, like, books and graduated from Harvard and all this other stuff.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
That's B.S.
Damon Wayans Jr.
It'S not real.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Yeah.
Damon Wayans Jr.
And that's, you know, that's just not a thing.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
There's a few we had to learn about her in.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Why did they teach us her.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
That's random.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Like, that was never. Didn't nobody related to it.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
No.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Not one kid in a regular.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
We remember it, though.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Cuz jokes.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Because a little bit of her head. We're Just like, you know, subconscious. We're like, this is B.S.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Deep down, maybe it was to test.
Guest or Additional Panelist
The lesson of she learned to speak and all that, you know, going through that.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Maybe it was a thing to say. If this idiot can do it, you. More exactly like, why are you getting a D? Let me show you something. You guys should. You guys should be better students. Don't you feel horrible about your C average? She's a Pulitzer. Harvard. I just don't buy it. I think it was a. It never really worked.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
That's a good one.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Damon Wayans Jr.
We just kind of turned it into jokes about her when we were kids. We didn't really get the message. But now I look at it, I'm like, there's no way Helen Keller was real. And how did she. She wrote books. How did she know where the paper ended? Like, all of it. It doesn't. None of it makes sense.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
How does she know what paper?
Damon Wayans Jr.
Why?
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Damon Wayans Jr.
How would she. She'd have to.
Damon Wayans Sr.
And.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Yeah.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Damon Wayans Jr.
And she got to find somebody who speaks her hand language to say, I need paper. And then the people like, why? I want to write some.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
I got to write something. I got to win these awards. What are awards?
Damon Wayans Jr.
That's my favorite trophy. How do you know? Yeah, I know.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
She was blind and deaf, or she was lying about one of the things.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Oh, I never really considered that. I thought it was all this Anne Sullivan.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Yeah, she. We're just. You know, she could be deaf, but, like, deaf has a spectrum, right? Yeah, so does blindness, so.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Yeah, she was not 100% of you. Yeah, she kind of figured some stuff out. Then why did it take her five years to say water? Maybe she's getting better, Rebel. Every year she's getting a little better. Yeah, maybe in the end, she's like, I see everything. Oh, she's an oracle now. Anyway, yeah, I don't have a lot of conspiracy. My conspiracy theories are usually. Now it's so bad that I get people mad at me when I say Lee Harvey Oswald did it alone.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Oh, that's interesting.
Damon Wayans Jr.
My conspiracy on Lee Harvey Oswald is that the world can't handle one lunatic changing the course of everything. It needs to be bigger for us.
Guest or Additional Panelist
To accept it that someone's in. Someone else is in on.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Dude.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Yeah, the dude, probably.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
I've seen some interesting. Wait. Lee Harvey. Lee Harvey Oswald is Kennedy. Kennedy.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Okay. Yeah, so I've seen some interesting. What are those called? Documentaries about that.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Have you ever seen a JFK to 9 11? Everything's rich man's trick. Definitely worth Gotta watch that.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Damon Wayans Jr.
So it's the. It's all a plot to get.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
And they keep taking it down off YouTube, but people keep uploading it. It's really cool.
Damon Wayans Jr.
I love it. But I also know that some of the conspiracy. Are you a Tylenol guy? That this new one's out? Everybody's mad at Tylenol now.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
I mean, what if. Yeah, but they have like. They have like a bunch of articles that said that. Like, there was one from John Hopkins from 2019 that said that if you're pregnant, you should take Tylenol because it may cause autism or adhd.
Damon Wayans Jr.
They were basically saying, we can't prove it, but don't sue us, just in case. And Tylenol used to put us. What do we care?
Guest or Additional Panelist
It doesn't affect us.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Right.
Damon Wayans Jr.
We're men.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Damon Wayans Jr.
I'll take all the Tylenol. I want ladies born this way.
Guest or Additional Panelist
That's your problem.
Damon Wayans Jr.
That's your problem. But I would like. You get indignant about it and you start chucking Tylenol down your throat when you got a baby. And what if you find out he's right?
Keenen Ivory Wayans
That's interesting. I mean, I just kind of look that kind of stuff when there's, like, kids involved. Like, I just kind of, like, stay away from it. Only because people are very passionate about their kids for some reason.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Yeah. I don't get it. I've met their kids. I don't know what you're finding so attractive about it. Sounds awful. Damon Wayans Jr. Is at stand Up Live tonight and tomorrow, if you want to go standup live dot com, check it out. You've had your shows, you've had movies and Marlin's movies out.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Yeah.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Have you talked to him? I haven't. He's. We have. We're birthday buddies, me and Marlon. Are you guys the same exact age?
Keenen Ivory Wayans
My grandma, actually. Well, she passed away, but she. She has the same birthday too.
Damon Wayans Jr.
No kidding. Yeah. So, yeah, we've. We've bonded over that for some weird reason. Super cool.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
I haven't seen it yet.
Damon Wayans Jr.
You have.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
I wanna. I'm not a scary movie kind of guy.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Yeah, like, watching even when family's in it.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
I just don't like overtly demonic stuff.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Really.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Right. Like. Like weapons. I saw weapons.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Did you like it?
Keenen Ivory Wayans
I thought that was great.
Damon Wayans Jr.
See, I didn't understand why they kept having weapons in it. They never explained though.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
I. But it wasn't overt. Like, it got me from the. It was more like a murder mystery kind of thriller. Yeah, I like stuff like that.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
If you can get me into that world. But if you just start out, like demon drinking blood and. Yeah, just rosebud in it. Just throwing the rosebud like a football.
Guest or Additional Panelist
Just the devil comes to you and says, you have to have a rosebud. You want to make it.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
The movie starts like, watch this entire rosebud video.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Holmberg's morning sickness.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
You can make it to the NFL.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Jordan deal. Yeah.
Damon Wayans Jr.
I don't think Jordan's gonna do the rosebud scene, but if he did, I'd be like, that was a twist. I didn't see that happen.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Interesting.
Guest or Additional Panelist
Maybe that's what Citizen Kane was all about. Why he was usually.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Have you seen it?
Damon Wayans Jr.
No, I haven't, but I'm with you on the demonic.
Guest or Additional Panelist
But I heard the same thing. That, like, I don't get the weapons thing.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Well, weapons is a weird.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah, weapons.
Damon Wayans Jr.
I didn't check it out. I thought it was okay. It's got some weird stuff in it that they never go back to. And you're like, what just happened? Why is there a gun floating that lady? And they never talk about it again.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
That's true.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Damon Wayans Jr.
They had a couple things, but I. It was all right. But the him thing, like when, like, demon stuff to me is so silly that when it tries to be scary, I find it funny.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Oh, that's interesting.
Damon Wayans Jr.
So I don't go the right direction. The movie wants me to. And I don't do it intentionally. I just kind of think it's usually pretty funny.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
So the last movie that I saw. So I've only. So the scary movie I saw before Weapons was, I think, hereditary.
Damon Wayans Sr.
I didn't even know that.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Is that hereditary?
Damon Wayans Sr.
Is that what? I don't know.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
It was years ago with Toni Colletti. I think she was in it.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Oh.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
And it was. It was very scary.
Damon Wayans Jr.
I don't remember that one.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Yeah, that's definitely worth. Is it either hereditary or heritage?
Damon Wayans Sr.
I don't know.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Something like that.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Damon Wayans Jr.
I don't. Haven't heard of it.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
And I remember this girl. I was on a plane and I had seen it already. This girl. Yes.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Hereditary.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Yes. That movie was the last movie I saw before this one, and that was scary as hell.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Damon Wayans Jr.
I didn't even heard of that.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Yeah, it was way too. And it was one of those where it starts off like you just think it's a family drama. And then over the course of the movie, it just becomes scarier and scarier.
Damon Wayans Jr.
And she's got good. Scary's got that.
Guest or Additional Panelist
She's got the Carrie.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Like the world's coming to an end.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Perfect.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
I recommend if you like to get scared. I recommend you watch that.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Damon Wayans Jr.
I like thinking and getting scared. I don't like being scared.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Exactly. So that's that.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Damon Wayans Jr.
I don't like when something pops up.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Damon Wayans Jr.
That doesn't scare me. It just makes me mad.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
So I don't. I don't like scary movies, but I'll. I'll support it. I'll buy a ticket.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
You know, to support.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Maybe not go in.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Damon Wayans Jr.
You got my money? We're good. Do you tell him I didn't see it, or will you.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Will you say.
Damon Wayans Jr.
He.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
He kind of knows. He invited me to the premiere. He did one text because he knew I was probably not going to come.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Right.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Don't like that kind of stuff. And. But. But he. He offered.
Damon Wayans Sr.
He's.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
He's bald. He's. You know, he shaved his head. Like, all my uncles are bald now.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
And, you know, because, you know, dad and Keenan have been bald their.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Their entire career. But now Sean and Marlon.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Sean is too.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Oh, I think so.
Guest or Additional Panelist
And now with your.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
I gotta say, I'm. I'm nervous.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Yeah, it looks good right now.
Guest or Additional Panelist
Your hairpiece works.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
No, it does. No, this is not a hairpiece. It's not a hairpiece. I literally have, like. I have conversations in the. In the mirror with.
Damon Wayans Jr.
You ever go back and watch just.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Like, appreciating it for being as.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Damon Wayans Jr.
You see your dad's hair when he's on Saturday Night Live?
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
It was crazy.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
I was like, you should have let that go.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Yeah. He used to do this thing.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
He used to do this thing when we would be, like, driving back home from church because he had his little hairpiece. He would do this thing where he would sneeze and it would come off. He would just be like. And it would just hang. It would just crack us up every time.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Damon Wayans Jr.
But there. I didn't know Sean did it.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
I don't. I don't know if Sean.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Sean had a beautiful head of hair.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Yeah, he did. So. I don't know. I could be wrong, but I know Marlin's been doing.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Completely gone bald, man.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
I don't know if his hair is all the way gone. I think he's just.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Now you realize you're talking preemptive strike. You realize you're talking to a bog about how horrible life would be if you didn't have hair.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
No, no, no. That's not what I'm Saying. That's not what I'm saying. I. I'm just saying that I'm nervous because I feel like your life comes to an end.
Damon Wayans Jr.
No, I'm telling you, as a bald guy, it does end.
Damon Wayans Sr.
It's over.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Save it.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
I'm glad that they're, you know, black dudes, because four white guys making.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
No one's talking off of, like, race jokes.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Look.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Damon Wayans Jr.
We've done it for 25 years to do it on the radio. If anybody found out we're all bald, it's bad. Brett, take your hat off. Throw them that hair. Let them know we're not one of them. Look. Okay, we're fine. We're good. We're good.
Damon Wayans Sr.
All right.
Damon Wayans Jr.
We've got one of those over there.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Cool.
Damon Wayans Jr.
I've got a hair friend. Mine's a hairpiece. Anyway, he's my hair friend. I've got a black friend and a hair friend. It's all working out nicely.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
We're good.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Yeah, we're good. I can do whatever I want. Damon Wayans Jr. Is at stand Up Live tonight and tomorrow. What do you got in hopper for us? What's coming up in your world?
Keenen Ivory Wayans
So right now, I'm working on my. My special. So I'm planning on shooting a special, top of the year.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Where are you gonna do it?
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Either D.C. or maybe here.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Yeah, do it here.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Damon Wayans Jr.
These clubs are great for special. Like, tv.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Talking to him about it. And Jake Johnson, the guy who did let's Be Cops with.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
New Girl with. We're developing a TV show together, so we should be doing that. So look. Look forward to that. Cool. And I've just been riding.
Damon Wayans Jr.
What happens? Like, is it, like, when you work with people on, like, the New Girl and stuff like that? What happens to you guys when it's over? Because, like, when normal people have normal jobs, you don't see each other anymore.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Right.
Damon Wayans Jr.
But TV seems, like, weird because if they replayed my day at work at a place I used to work all the time, you're like, I just gotta call. Let me call that guy.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Yeah, no, we.
Damon Wayans Jr.
We.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
We still have, like, this text chain going on.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Like, we talk every day. Max Greenfield, who played Schmidt on New Girl, he actually lives down the street from my dad.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Oh, really?
Keenen Ivory Wayans
In real life?
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Okay, so, like, he'll just randomly call me and be like, I saw Daddy today.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Don't call him that. He wants me to.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Yeah. He's like, is he not a daddy? He's my daddy.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Big bald daddy. And you leave him alone.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
He's our daddy because they have the same birthday.
Damon Wayans Jr.
They do.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Him going on around him. Beyonce and Max Greenfield.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Is that right?
Keenen Ivory Wayans
My dad?
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Damon Wayans Jr.
No kidding. That's so weird. And it's so strange when you meet somebody with your birthday.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Damon Wayans Jr.
That it becomes like some strange besties.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Damon Wayans Jr.
I think we have to say.
Guest or Additional Panelist
And I saw Daddy.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Damon Wayans Jr.
It's a requirement. We're naked together at one point or another if we share a birthday. Yeah. It's very strange. But so. Yeah, that's cool. But I've seen New Girl on, like, was it Netflix and see.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Click on Netflix on Hulu.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Now it's all over. And I always wonder that, like, they're done, but do they look at this and go, yeah, we still talk to.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Each other all the time.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Does Zoe call and, like, try to redo your house and stuff with her new life? No.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
You know what's weird about Zoe's. I've known Zoe since we were. We went to high school together and middle school, so I've known her for forever.
Damon Wayans Jr.
No kidding.
Damon Wayans Sr.
So, yeah, we.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
We stay in contact, too, but I talk more to the guys.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Okay.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Obviously.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
And then Hannah also, who was Cece on the show?
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah, we.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
We still talk.
Damon Wayans Jr.
You're still pal. So you guys still hang around.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Yeah, I. I mean, because I work with, like. We come up with ideas together. Lamorne, he did an episode of my dad show. The show that we just did with my dad at papa's house.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
So we're, you know, we're always just going, hey, come do this. Hey, come do this now.
Damon Wayans Sr.
You don't have kids.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
I have tons.
Damon Wayans Jr.
You do.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
I have six kids.
Damon Wayans Jr.
You do? That doesn't seem right.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
I do. I don't pull out to the baby shower.
Damon Wayans Jr.
I didn't know you had kids.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Yeah, man, I have a bunch.
Damon Wayans Jr.
No kidding.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
I have old kids, too.
Damon Wayans Sr.
What?
Keenen Ivory Wayans
I had my first kid when I was 20.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Get out of here. I didn't know that at all. I thought you were sailing.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
I wish.
Damon Wayans Jr.
You got too many.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Yeah.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Six of them. Are they funny?
Damon Wayans Sr.
They're great.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
They're a super fun.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Is there a whole new generation of Wayans now?
Keenen Ivory Wayans
My. My second daughter is probably my funniest kid.
Damon Wayans Jr.
No kidding.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
No, definitely my funny.
Damon Wayans Jr.
And the other ones know that.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
The other one? Yeah, the other ones. They're all funny, too, but she's just like.
Damon Wayans Jr.
She's a killer.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
She's a killer.
Damon Wayans Jr.
No kidding.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
It doesn't even try.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Is she gonna get plugged into the system?
Keenen Ivory Wayans
I would love her to.
Damon Wayans Jr.
No kidding.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Damon Wayans Jr.
You would encourage this for people, I.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Mean, because they're grown now. So that's like. Yeah, she's 20. She'll be 21.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Get out of here.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
September 20th.
Damon Wayans Jr.
I think of my birthday. I. I think of you as so like young.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
I know.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Like you.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Oh, I had them when I was young.
Damon Wayans Jr.
I know, but I don't know why I would assume that you have. Like, if you had one, it would be two.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah, yeah.
Damon Wayans Jr.
That's because I'm old. That's my mortality saying, I don't want you to be. It's old enough to have kids.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
It's smart, man. Yeah, it's. It's. It wasn't. It wasn't the best move. But they all really like me. I like them a lot. They come with me to do stand up. You know, I've been trying to encourage them to get on stage. Especially my second daughter. My first daughter, she's an actor. She was on an episode of the Papa's House show that we did.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Okay.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Do you have any of them that are like, not funny and are trying to be and you're like, I gotta talk this one out of it.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
I have one that's like, she's just gorgeous.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
And she's not funny.
Damon Wayans Jr.
She doesn't have to be.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
She's pretty.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah, yeah.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
She didn't have comedy is her face.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Face till she's 43.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Exactly.
Damon Wayans Sr.
She's got to pick it up. Pick it up. Yeah.
Guest or Additional Panelist
Oh, she'll find out.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Eggs are going away.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Once Hickman Farms down there dries up, she better have some jokes.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
And then I have two sons who.
Guest or Additional Panelist
Are really funny, but I freeze some just in case.
Damon Wayans Jr.
The pressure to be funny in the Wayans family has to be immense.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Yeah. My. They. We have a bunch of funny people who aren't even in the industry.
Damon Wayans Jr.
So you probably have like the funniest weigh ins is probably someone that didn't get into it.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
I would agree.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Damon Wayans Jr.
That's almost always the way it is. Like the funniest person is the one.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Who'S like really funny aunts. I have cousins that are more in the background. Like, I have a cousin named Craig who we call the Funniest Waynes and he's a writer, so he helped write scary movies.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Oh, cool.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
White chicks.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Wow.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
All those kind of movies.
Damon Wayans Jr.
That's awesome.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Well, it's all working out and I love it. Damon Wayans Jr. Stand up live tonight and tomorrow. Leave us with words of wisdom. Save the planet.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Mmm.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Save the planet.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Anything you got.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Okay, so I. I say you have to earn your food.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Okay.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Meaning either you go on a walk before you eat or you go on a walk after you eat. Like 20 minutes.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
30 minutes. It helps burn calories. It helps.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
It helps you digest your food better and gives you clarity.
Damon Wayans Jr.
That's right.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Damon Wayans Jr.
Earn your food. That's great advice. That's great advice. So many people don't.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Yeah, I saw that on a. On a tikt.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Don't look at Brady.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Have to say it.
Damon Wayans Jr.
He's working on it. He's working on it.
Damon Wayans Sr.
He's walking.
Guest or Additional Panelist
I fight for my food all the time.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
No, it's a fight.
Damon Wayans Jr.
You still earn it.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Damon Wayans Jr.
The other dude's got to earn it if Brady's around, because that's a. That's a battle.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Earn your rosebud.
Damon Wayans Sr.
Yeah.
Damon Wayans Jr.
That's the truth. Damon's always good to see you. Damon Wayans, Jr. Everybody, it's 98.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Hey. It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees.
Damon Wayans Jr.
I have heard enough of this for you, PT.
Date: September 26, 2025
Host(s): John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Guest: Damon Wayans Jr.
Special Appearances: Keenen Ivory Wayans, Damon Wayans Sr., Additional Panelist
This lively in-studio episode features Damon Wayans Jr. as he joins the Morning Sickness crew ahead of his shows at Stand Up Live in Phoenix. The conversation jumps between irreverent humor, personal stories, wild theories, and fun family banter, especially as Keenen Ivory Wayans and Damon Wayans Sr. join in. Topics range from internet shock videos and conspiracy theories, Helen Keller skepticism, family dynamics in the Wayans clan, scary movies, going bald, and comedy career plans. It’s a blend of candid confessions, nostalgia, and comedic sharpness.
On wild internet content:
“Somebody is having a prolapse...right now. And then why record it? For the masses.”
— Keenen Ivory Wayans & Damon Wayans Jr. (02:28–02:38)
On skepticism about Helen Keller:
“I just don’t buy it. I think it was a...it never really worked.”
— Damon Wayans Jr. (07:01)
On the pressure to be funny in the Wayans family:
“The pressure to be funny in the Wayans family has to be immense.”
— Damon Wayans Jr. (20:06)
On going bald:
“I’m telling you, as a bald guy, it does end.”
— Damon Wayans Jr. (14:53)
On taking care of yourself:
“You have to earn your food...It helps burn calories, digest your food, gives you clarity.”
— Keenen Ivory Wayans (20:47–21:06)
Holmberg’s Morning Sickness delivers a hilarious and surprisingly thought-provoking episode with Damon Wayans Jr. and the Wayans comedic dynasty. Listeners are treated to raw family stories, behind-the-scenes TV tales, skeptical takes on cultural icons, and jokes about everything from conspiracies to going bald. Damon Jr. wraps things up with practical wisdom—“earn your food”—leaving the audience with a smile and something to walk (literally) away with.