← Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
09-26-25 - Guad Squares - w/Jonathan Kite - Anthony Bourdain - Mickey Rourke - Trump - Mike Lindell - Pythagoras Brady - Tom Hanks - Jeff And Beau Bridges
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You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. All right, HMS Podcast time again. It'll let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Head downtown to Stand Up Live Thursday to see Ashley Gavin and Stephen Ho on Friday and Saturday. The Desert Ridge Improv up north features Aaron Weber all week long and East Siders. The Tempe Improv has Mikey Winfield on Thursday, and Ashley Gavin finishes her week in Tempe on Friday and Saturday. For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com the old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Let's get right to it. Jonathan Kite is a Desert Ridge Improv tonight and tomorrow, not doing Sunday. You want to come to the house again for the Steelers game Sunday? Oh, are you hosting, people? 6:00am it's in Ireland. Yeah. Are you going to Ireland? No, I'm going to. I'm going to set an alarm for 5:40 on a Sunday, you said I'm a priest, like St. Patty's Day. Yeah. Oh, it's going to be brutal. Yeah. It's going to have some Irish stuff, but. And you're playing his Vikings, so. Nightmare. You're going to be asleep after the show. I'll just walk over. Yeah, just come on by. Just do the show. Yeah. And by all means, walk. Earn that. Yeah, Sweat it off. Sweat it off. It's only about 18 miles from my house. You'll be fine. We'll hoof it over and you'll be ready to go ride an armadillo. It's perfect. All right, it's time now for what we're calling the Jonathan Kite Squares, because why would I work when we've got this man? Brilliant. Jonathan Kites here. And here's your host once again of said Squares, Thriller, Walsh. Thriller. Take it away. Oh, for Christ's sake. Timeout. Hold on. Oh, is it working? Go ahead. Thank you, Chancellor. Let's start here at top left square. We got Bourdain starting off. How you doing, sir? I've never been better out here in the cool Arizona sun, as I'd sit back with tequila and hang out with the saguaro. Where are you gonna eat? Do you have anywhere going, Anthony? Probably a taco that I'll make myself and cook it on the side of the road. You revere your own. I'm a cook as well. Oh, okay. I didn't know that. I just thought you should. I'm a chef. Bourdain. You didn't know that Anthony Bourdain was a chef? I did, but he just ate everyone else's food. He cooks two things, food and heroin. Gets it done. Well, we're happy to have you regardless, sir. Let's go over now, the top middle square. We have Piers Morgan and Nikki. Listen, excellent, excellent attempt right there to be the, the host of the show. Let me handle this from here. Okay? My special guest is Mickey Roth. Mickey, Mickey. What's the last movie you saw that you really loved? Tell me about that. The last movie I saw that I really love was a wrestler. I was, I'll tell you, this is a true story. I, I, I won the Golden Globe for this and I won the SAG Award and I, and I used my speech of the SAG Award to, to shame Hollywood for not hiring Eric Roberts and to talk about how I was taking what's her name, the butt, Marisa, to. Yes, I remember that quite well. I, I spent the whole speech then I was like, what am I doing up here? Yes. Now, anybody you've been in the film with that you actually enjoy their work? Mickey, is any, Was Hulk Hogan fun to work with or someone on the wrestler? Yeah, me, when I looked at myself in the mirror, just like looking with. You see the new Tom. Was it Tom Cruise film that a great actor, Not a good actor. What do you think of Daniel Day Lewis's work? A. Lewis is not a great actor. No. What particularly don't you care for? I don't care for anybody. That's the guys who came before me, you know, Harvey Keitel, Christopher Walker, these kind of guys. Not these new guys, you know, they're not, they're not like us. They're not the real guys like Morgan Freeman. You've sort of enjoyed Morgan Freeman's work. I like Morgan Freeman in the penguin movie. Okay, understood. All right, now over to the top ranked square, President Trump. How are you, sir? Unbelievable. So great today. Absolutely fantastic. Yeah. Been busy week. I'm sure a very busy week. I played a lot of golf, okay. Nothing really happened in the news, so I was playing a lot of golf. You got Ryder cup going on too? I got a Ryder cup, okay. I got a lot of, I got a lot of things going on. Apparently. I'm selling merch now in the White House for 2028. Did you see that? No. They want me to run. Everybody wants me to Run. Okay. I've never run a day in my life, not even at a treadmill. Well, best of luck there to you, sir. Let's go over now to the middle of square. Mike Lindell, right behind Trump. Oh, the pillows. Let me just say this. I'm happy to be here as well. Okay. I've been asleep in the studio all day, but I'm like Beetlejuice when you say my name only once. I awake from asleep, I wake from my dreams, and I come into yours. Mike Lindell. Let me just say we're offering a special this weekend, okay? If you buy a pillow, I'll come and sleep on it for you. I need a place to stay. My wife kicked me out. You're like the Freddy Krueger of pillow sales. If I dream on your pillow, you show up. If it happens in real life, it happens in your dreams and vice versa. Oh, my God, that's horrifying. I'm buying a pillow. I am a pillow. Over now to the middle square, Pythagoras Brady. How are you doing there? Yeah, I was doing some math earlier. Yeah? What'd you find then? I'm not good at math, basically, is what I found that. Do you remember I told you that 87 out of 100 things, what's the percentage of that? Can't quite do 87%. I don't know if that's accurate. I'd have to look into that. I have an Asian friend I'm gonna ask later, but I'm not real sure which one. Do you know any math, Jonathan Kite? I know that 87 is 87 out of 100 is 87%. I don't know. I'd have to look into that. I am the math expert on the show. Correct also. Yes, very correct. Thank you. Other me. It's very true. I was doing math earlier this week on the air. That's one of the best radio bits ever. Middle aged man doing math. I think that's a solid bet we're gonna do probably every day. Hey, Jonathan. Jonathan Kite's here. Cool. All right, now over to the middle right square. Tom Hanks joining us. Hi. Oh, hi. Guys, let me just say this. I am not here to play this game. I am here to say release the Epstein files. Well, because I am the only name that people associate with. Got a story. And I am telling you, I was not there. And I'm saying, come on, guys, just release the file. Come on. Let's see if your WIS comes through. Sound of that one. Over. Now, the bottleneck Square Brady. Secret square. Give us a hint. Yes. How are you guys doing? I'm 57 years old today. I'm an actor. I played Jesus in the passing Passion of Christ. Oh, wow. Taking a gruff tone. God. God bless you. Yeah. I didn't realize he was a ten pack a day smoker. I didn't either. Really? He's really got a rough. Rough serious jackass. Is that it? Yes. Okay. God bless. God bless. All right, all right, all right, all right. Over now, the bottom of the square, Jeff and Bo Bridges. How you doing? Hey, man. Hey, man. Hey, man. Hey, man. We're good to be here. Hey, it's good to see you, man. My brother, man. Man. Brother, man. We. I was sitting outside that. You know, I love seeing my brother and, you know, I hope I do today. And I turn around and there he is. That's what I said, man. I looked over. I said, look, man, there's that guy, man. That's my man, man. We. We're here to tell you we're doing the fabulous Baker Boys too. Yeah, Starman too, man. People don't know this, man. He was my. He was my stuntman man in Starman, Man. Ye of one sickness. Updu Gameo and Doug Limu and I always tell you to customize your car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual. But now we want you to feel it. Cue the emu music. Limu. Save yourself money today. Increase your wealth. Customize and save. We save. That may have been too much feeling. Only pay for what you need@liberty mutual.com. liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty Savings. Very unwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance Company and affiliates. Excludes Massachusetts. Holmberg's morning sickness. Happy to see you both in a good mood. Let's go now. Bottom right square. Our Lord and savior, Tripp Reeb. How are you, sir? Yeah, no, I'm fine. I'm enjoying the show. Okay. I like it. And I'm surprised that President Trump didn't tell you. What? That it just a little Tylenol and you'll be all better. I think it works in reverse for guys like you. Yeah, I haven't heard that yet. Is that true? I don't know. Guzzle as much Tylenol as you can tonight. And let's. Wait a second. You just don't want to pay me, is that right? No, I think that's not it. You can guzzle as much Tylenol as you want as long as you're not pregnant. Okay. As long as you're not pregnant. And I am not pregnant. Despite the Gut. That I wear around me that looks like I'm wearing. Excuse me, an Eddie Murphy clump fat suit. Okay. Eddie Murphy clump fat suit. Okay. This is all pure bucket of chicken. So I could take all the Tylenol. Okay. I can take. And I said. Excuse me. I said, the women take the Tylenol. You'll be better at math. The autism is better at math. Okay. I'm going to tell you, Brady, take some Tylenol, okay? Maybe you could do the 87%. They said my mom a lot of Tylenol. There is a rumor that my mom was a Tylenol. A lot of Tylenol. Okay. She loves trains. She freebased Tylenol. She can't make eye contact. All right, David's on the phone because our phones are broken. He's the only one because the phone's actually shut off. If it works, he'll be the only one that we can do. Yeah, technology. It works great. They were all ringing, then the phone shut down. That's you, Jonathan. We know that when the phones stop working, it's because too many people have called in. They shut our phone lines down. I appreciate it. Yeah. That's a beautiful thing. David, are you there? Beautiful thing. I'm here. All right, David, pick a square that isn't Brady Tripp or the secret square. And if you get it right, you get tickets. If you don't, you're out. Anthony Bourdain. There it is. That's the one I wanted to. Nice job, Anthony. There you go. All right, over to Anthony there. How you doing? I couldn't be better. All right. A wonderful day and a beautiful day. Just having a drink right now. A scotch. It's a good start. It's a great start to a great delay. 10am you got time. And I've had 14 cigarettes. I'm ready to go. All right, question for you here. All natural diamonds are at least 525 million years old. True or false? I would say the pressure of life that presents us all every day. That turns the coal into the magnificent rock, the diamond that lives inside us all. Aladdin, Prince Ali was once called it as. Well, a tale as old as time. I would say that is false. Wow, okay, you're saying false here. Now, David, do you agree or disagree with false? Oh, gee, that's my fault. David, do you agree or disagree with false? I agree it's false. Correct. Okay, that's it. That's all he needed to do. Congratulations. The phones rang again and then cut off. Everybody again. So before this thing shuts down, David, Brad will get your information. You're going to win prizes. That's how it works. See how easy it is to just promote how great Jonathan Kite is and what he'll be doing at Desert Ridge Impression this weekend. Love every second of it. Every time. So silly. Yeah. If the phones work, this would have been a lot better. This should have been. I've been here before when the phones are working. Yeah, it's great. But there, you know, what will happen is if we start picking it up, it'll drop everybody else because we've spent a ton of money on Internet phones. How much? These phones, they've had a lot of Tylenol. Our phones are not great at communicating. Okay. Not great at all. Socially awkward phones. Socially awkward, yeah. It's tough. It rings. They love trains, though. They love it. They love it all, you know, Biden. These are. These phones are from the Biden administration. Sleepy Joe. These phones are asleep. Wake up, phones. America's calling. Who's your new favorite one? Well, I said I was bringing out. I was trying to bring out Mickey Rourke because I was trying to do. We were. Alex and I were talking about this in the way over. I will attempt anybody new, like if there's something. But I'm doing a little bit more Vince Vaughn right now. Okay. Because he's back with that known as show and then Bad Monkey. Yeah. And. And. But I'm trying to do sort of whoever's in the. In the news. Hey, my man. I. I'm trying to bring the energy right now, you know, I'm saying, like, it's kind of early in the day right now for Vinny boy. I just went to bed, but I just had a little. You know what I'm saying? And I'm up. Daddy's up right now. Daddy's up right now. You know, but. But you know, I tried. Or RFK Jr. You know. Yeah, yeah, he's fun. Yeah. I said I look like if RFK Jr saw me on the street, he'd be like, all right, I guess I'll get the vaccine. What was the thing you said about he had a vibrator? Yeah. He always sounds like he's deep throating a vibrator. His campaign slogan was I'm coming. I'm coming. People suck on skull. That guy's downing aquarium gravel. Who was his running mate? R2D2. He sounds like he has AT T service. It's always great to have you. I wish it was more during the week. We could spend hours together, but I know. Leaving so quickly on us and that. That's. I'll be back soon. All right. Are you coming back soon? I hope so. All right, beautiful. We'll get you back here soon. Thanks for popping in late. Thank you for having me, brother. Jonathan Kite is at desert Ridge Improv. Desert ridgemprov.com I. Seriously, if you want to spend an hour and a half just hurting, and I mean, I know me, like, physically. You will actually. Your stomach hurts. That's how Marisha Tomei felt in that scene. And I was banging her in the butt. And now the wrestler. That's an hour and a half of hurt. Mickey Rourke. It's just so bitter to any other actor. Well, no, that's what it is. I said, will you hear him talk about any other actor? I was saying this off air where, like, they brought up Tom Cruise and he was just like. Pierce was like, oh, aren't you excited that Tom Cruise is like, top Gun is bringing back the movie industry. And he was like, tom Cruise is not a great actor. You're just like, what? Like, he would just. So I'm trying to do a bit that I'm working on for TikTok that called Cooking with Mickey, where he. He's always on the phone about to start, and then he goes, like. He goes. So the story was, you know, I said, I don't want the part. So they gave it to Meryl Streep. But then they made Sophie's Choice. He turned everything down. You know what I'm saying? He had a shot at everything. Yeah, he had a shot at literally everything. And then he's like, yeah. He goes. So, you know, I had a pretty deep voice, but I said, I don't know anything about soccer. Give it to Morgan Freeman. So they made Invictus. Wait, you were going to play Nelson Mandela? He goes, yeah, Elsa Mandela. I was gonna do the accent and everything. Give milk to pen. Yeah. So just like. It's like anything. I was supposed to be Alfalfa. I was supposed to be Buckwheat. You were. You. You had. You were okay with the black. Yeah, the blackface didn't bother me. I just. I couldn't get my hair that high. I love that. My favorite thing with your bourdain is the thousand yard gaze. Yeah, just. I noticed while you did it, he was staring off into the hallway. He's off. He's just thinking. He's imagining the world. He's somewhere else entirely. It's so good. Always good to see you. Jonathan Kite, everybody. Let's get the hell out of here. Thank you, Thriller. Thanks to everybody. We'll be back Monday. We'll see you later. So long. It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee. I have heard enough of this.