Holmberg's Morning Sickness

Episode: 09-29-25 - BR - MON - It's Natl Coffee Day - Teacher Allowed Student To Feed Ailing Kitten To Snake - Company To Have Drones Follow Shoplifters
Date: September 29, 2025
Host: John Holmberg, with Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo

Episode Overview

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness covers a diverse set of topical and provocative stories: from National Coffee Day and Holmberg's annual coffee experiment to controversial education and crime-prevention news (including a teacher feeding a kitten to a snake and the use of drones to track shoplifters). The team delivers their trademark blend of banter, irreverent humor, and candid social commentary, riffing on sports, oddball news, and some wild viral videos.

Main Discussion Points & Insights

Sports Recap and Banter (00:00 - 04:45)

• Holmberg starts by celebrating his favorite NFL team's win, mocking rival teams and their misfortunes, and ribbing co-hosts about their sports allegiances.
• Brief discussion of college football, with joking references to family connections (Rick Neuheisel) and a convoluted cousin relationship.
• The segment is heavy on inside jokes and NFL ribbing.

National Coffee Day: The Annual Coffee Experiment (05:24 - 07:26)

• It's National Coffee Day, and Holmberg recounts his tradition of trying coffee once a year, never enjoying it.
• “It gets worse every time I sip it. I had some yesterday. It's, as my friend John Sharpnick calls it, dude, it's bean juice.” (Holmberg, 05:29)
• Panel discusses how coffee culture is changing—more kids drink it now. Holmberg remains staunchly anti-bean juice, even repulsed by iced coffee.

Brady’s Fun Facts Segment (07:26 - 10:39)

• Richard III’s bones were found after 500+ years thanks to a woman researching a screenplay; the team jokes about “stumbling upon” royal remains.
• Fictional Characters on the Walk of Fame: 20 characters, most recently Batman (2024). Holmberg jokes about “who accepts the star?” and parodies Hollywood sexism.
  • “Should have never let her [Minnie Mouse] in there, huh? Women don't deserve stars. Haha.” (Holmberg, 09:38)
• Sloths vs. Dolphins: Sloths can hold their breath longer due to slow metabolism (up to 40 mins), surprising everyone.
• Record human breath holding: nearly 30 minutes (Tom Cruise cited facetiously).

Quirky News Stories (10:59 - 13:43)

• Rare Orange Lobster Found: Jean Claude the lobster gets rescued, though Holmberg is skeptical about its uniqueness.
• The Deadly Yawn: British woman's forceful yawn dislodged vertebrae, nearly killing her, leading to long-term paralysis but eventual recovery. Mock speculation on whether her husband stayed with her, with Holmberg making bawdy jokes about jaw strength.

Family & Phone Habits (13:43 - 14:40)

• Survey reveals kids (and adults) are glued to their phones during conversations; Holmberg rants about people Googling information mid-talk instead of just admitting ignorance.

True Crime: The Backyard Burial Confession (14:40 - 16:28)

• News story about a man who sent a confession to a news station after his parents' bodies were found buried in the backyard—he admitted euthanizing them and had been collecting their Social Security checks for years. Discussion about his skullet haircut and whether he’ll be safe in jail.

Controversial Classroom Incident: Kitten Fed to Snake (16:32 - 20:26)

• Discussion of a teacher (Randy Brown) reportedly feeding an ailing kitten to a classroom snake. Unclear facts and confusion about the story's actual details spark jokes about journalism standards.
• Ultimately revealed: the teacher gave sick kittens to a student, who then fed one to a snake at home—not actually in front of the class.
• Panel questions why the school has so many sick kittens and why proper procedures weren’t followed.
  • “If you love animals, you don't force feed one to another and get pleasure out of it.” (Holmberg, 18:36)

Drones to Follow Shoplifters: Social and Racial Satire (21:23 - 28:58)

• Company “Flock Safety” is developing drone surveillance for retailers to follow shoplifters—even (allegedly) all the way home.
• Panel skewers the idea as ripe for racial bias and rampant lawsuits.
  • “You can't follow people of color around the Walmart because it's going to cause problems. And imagine when Karen gets followed around the Target. I don't see an upside to the drones in a shopping center at all.” (Holmberg, 27:48)
  • Ongoing, cutting parodies about possible features (“Negro tracker,” “blackest lawyer in Phoenix,” “auto negro”), emphasizing how such technology will spur discrimination and legal battles.
  • References to personal experiences: Holmberg shopping with his Black friend Reggie and being treated with suspicion.

Viral/Bizarre Video Segment (29:29 - 38:55)

• Commentary on a selection of wild, often grotesque or violent clips:
  • Stadium fight gone wrong—guy gets kicked down the seats. (29:41)
  • On-air fitness mishap; fitness instructor drops a news lady. (30:29)
  • Motorcycle crash, ghost-riding bike causes mayhem. (31:30)
  • Rubber bullet incident during a protest. (32:36)
  • Matador runs directly into a bull, is critically injured. (33:16)
  • “Bowling in the hood”: car plows through a group. (34:24)
  • Woman involved in a sexual stunt with a tow hitch. (34:59)
  • Brutal bareknuckle boxing face collapse. (35:54)
  • Car grenade prank, handlebar embedded in cyclist’s body. (36:21 – 37:49)
  • Explicit poolside group sex “video,” described in explicit, comic detail. (38:04)

Memorable Quotes

• On Coffee:
  • “It gets worse every time I sip it. … it's bean juice. And when you put it that way, it suddenly becomes disgusting.”
    (Holmberg, 05:29)
• On Kitten-Snake Story:
  • “If you love animals, you don't force feed one to another and get pleasure out of it. … there's clearly a winner in that. In my love rankings.”
    (Holmberg, 18:36)
• On Drone Shoplifter Surveillance:
  • “If I'm the black person being followed all the way home, the lawsuit is extraordinary. … that's a major violation of your privacy.”
    (Holmberg, 23:09)
  • “You can't follow people of color around the Walmart because it's going to cause problems. ... I don't see an upside to the drones in a shopping center at all.”
    (Holmberg, 27:48)
  • “I want to apologize to everybody not white because that is the worst thing I've heard in forever. That's. That's wildly racist.”
    (Holmberg, 28:30)
• On Tech Overreach:
  • "Everyone gets followed by a drone at least once. Or every aisle has just a drone going back and forth. ... That's the worst thing I've heard."
    (Holmberg, 22:12, 28:30)

Timestamps: Important Segments

• 00:00 – 04:45: Sports banter & victory gloating
• 05:24 – 07:26: Coffee Day discussion & annual taste test
• 07:26 – 10:39: Fun facts (Richard III, Walk of Fame, animals holding breath)
• 10:59 – 11:47: Rare orange lobster story
• 12:11 – 13:43: Deadly yawn & personal speculation
• 13:43 – 14:40: Phones and distracted conversations
• 14:40 – 16:28: Backyard burial confession story
• 16:32 – 20:26: Teacher, kitten, and classroom snake controversy
• 21:23 – 28:58: Drones proposed for shoplifter surveillance & racial/social critique
• 29:29 – 38:55: Viral video segment—commentary on fights, accidents, explicit stunts
• 39:49 – 40:48: Further reflection on racism in security and personal anecdotes

Tone and Style

• Raucous, irreverent, satirical.
• The crew makes pointed social observations wrapped in comedic banter.
• Touchy stories are dissected openly, with both humor and genuine critique, particularly regarding systemic racism and absurd tech solutions.

Key Takeaways

• Holmberg’s crew uses humor to tackle current, sometimes uncomfortable stories (animal welfare, crime, race, tech), exposing the absurdities and pitfalls of modern society.
• Personal anecdotes bring real-life context to the headlines (especially on the topic of racial profiling and store security).
• The group does not shy away from edgy jokes or commentary, though beneath the surface there's a clear sense of social awareness and critique.

For listeners who missed the episode:
You’ll get candid sports banter, wild odd news, bold social critique (especially on drones & discrimination), and a signature dose of outrageous humor with a healthy side of self-awareness.