09-30-25 - BR - TUE - Survey Measures Feelings On Calling In Sick - Nephew Of Col Sanders Suing KFC - First Ever State Of Steak Report - Police Arrest Man After Claiming They Have A Drug Sniffing Horse

Summary

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Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Detailed Episode Summary

Episode Date: September 30, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Theme: Humorous takes on current weird news stories, generational changes in work/life, and viral oddities.

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Episode Overview

This episode is a classic blend of offbeat observational humor, news oddities, and irreverent banter fans expect from Holmberg’s Morning Sickness. The main topics include changing workplace attitudes about calling in sick, a supposed family member of Colonel Sanders leaking KFC's secret recipe, America’s steak preferences, and a bizarre crime story involving police who claim to have a drug-sniffing horse. Scattered throughout are playful debates, personal anecdotes, and the crew’s signature blend of skepticism and sarcasm.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Animal Tricks & Pet Quirks

[01:54 – 03:23]

• John and Brady open with pet trick talk for “Pet Tricks Day.”
• John details his dog’s unusual “sweet greets” routine:

  “He spins around, like he knows right from left. ...Also, my dog Jack may be on the spectrum.” (John, 02:09)

• Brady notes his dog does the “paw shake” with both paws.
• John marvels at his dog's tendency to wash his paws before dinner, admitting “He's a weirdo.”

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2. Basis Fun Facts: Diabetic Pee Whiskey & Mysterious Maps

[03:23 – 05:16]

• Brady’s odd-fact-of-the-day: Diabetic urine can be distilled into whiskey. John and the crew react with disbelief and mock horror.

  “We can drink diabetic pee and get drunk off of it.” (John, 03:35)

• Another fact: The fictitious “Mountains of Kong” persisted on African maps well into the late 20th century.

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3. Pop Culture Tidbits

[05:03 – 05:31]

• Jim Carrey was once considered for the role of Captain Jack Sparrow, passing due to filming “Bruce Almighty.”

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4. Survey: How Generations Use Car Time & Sick Day Attitudes

[05:31 – 09:47]

• Car Rides:
  • Gen Z (“Zoomers”) prefer silence during commutes or using the time to process their day.
  • Millennials focus on multitasking and planning.
  • Gen Xers still just “jam out to tunes.”
• Calling in Sick:
  • Pre-pandemic, showing up sick was a badge of honor; now, most prefer coworkers stay home if unwell.
  • Hilarious discussion on people who come to work sick but use sick days as extra holidays:

    “Why would I use sick days to actually be sick? If I’m calling in sick, it’s because I want to do something else.” (John, 08:38)

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5. Quirky Human Interest Stories

[09:47 – 11:01]

• A Pensacola cook is lauded for saving a loyal customer—missing his daily gumbo was the tip-off that something was wrong.

  “He’s dead.” (Mock speculation, John, 10:31)

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6. McDonald’s Monopoly Returns: Cheating Exposed

[11:01 – 15:56]

• McDonald’s reintroduces Monopoly; hosts riff on decades-old scandals where insiders rigged the big prizes, referencing HBO’s “McMillions.”
• Sidebar: Lively debate about what NFL teams would correspond to which Monopoly properties—lots of jabs at the Bengals and Browns as “Baltic and Mediterranean.”

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7. The 'Colonel Sanders Nephew' KFC Leak Fiasco

[15:58 – 17:54]

• Viral claim: Colonel Sanders’ “nephew” is leaking the KFC recipe after being “blocked” for complaining about how the brand “sexualized” the Colonel.
• Disagreements over what qualifies as a “sexualized” Colonel (notably Reba McEntire in the Colonel getup).

  “I don’t find that was the sexiest I’ve ever found Reba McEntire... looks like a Jeff Dunham puppet.” (John, 17:54)

• The crew mocks the legitimacy and motivations of the supposed nephew.

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8. State of Steak: America's Favorite Cuts

[18:15 – 19:49]

• Only four main steaks dominate American preferences: ribeye, sirloin, filet, NY strip.
• Over 90% of steak dinners are at casual chains, not “fancy” places like Outback and Texas Roadhouse.

  “Brady, your algorithm seems to be heavy food today.” (John, 18:36)

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9. Police "Drug-Sniffing Horse" Story

[21:12 – 22:44]

• In Texas, a man bolts after believing a cop's claim that his horse can sniff drugs.

  “If I had drugs, I might run... later be the idiot on the news.” (John, 22:41)

• Jokes about the plausibility of horse-drug detection and legal “cop lies.”

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10. Video and Viral Moments Recap

[24:37 – 33:20]

• A run-through of wild internet clips:
  • Electric shock mishaps, a football player leg break (Jalen Brown), motorcycle stunts gone wrong, and tree-cutting accidents (with graphic results).
  • Absurd stunts such as someone attempting to traverse a river with a motorcycle, and viral gross-out challenges.
  • Some questionable and NSFW humor about bodily functions and viral “challenges.”

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11. Pop Culture Sidebars

[26:35 – 27:39]

• Jason Whitlock’s assertion that the upcoming halftime show is “demonic,” with unnecessary links to Charlie Kirk.

  “He said it’s demons and cross-dressing and indoctrination of children… Like, how weak are the parents of those kids?” (John, 27:21)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On using sick days strategically:

  “Why would I use sick days to actually be sick?... Those sick days, I use those for days I just want to do something else.” (John, 08:38)

• On the 'drug-sniffing horse':

  “If I came up and said, I can smell your period, you’d believe me, because you look at my nose… A horse’s nose, I’d run from that too.” (John, 22:38)

• Re: KFC's “sexualized” Colonel Sanders:

  “I don’t find that was the sexiest I’ve ever found Reba McEntire... she looks like a Jeff Dunham puppet with the perma-smile.” (John, 17:54)

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Timestamps of Important Segments

| Time | Topic | |-----------|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:54 | Pet tricks and animal oddities | | 03:23 | Fun facts: diabetic urine whiskey, Mountains of Kong | | 05:31 | Car time: generational survey | | 07:00 | Changing attitudes on sick days, office strategies | | 09:47 | Pensacola cook saves missing customer | | 11:01 | McDonald’s Monopoly scam and NFL Monopoly banter | | 15:58 | ‘Nephew’ of Colonel Sanders leaks KFC recipe, sexualization debate | | 18:15 | State of steak: Top cuts, chain vs. fancy steak places | | 21:12 | Texas ‘drug-sniffing horse’ police story | | 24:37 | Viral video reviews: accidents, stunts, and absurdities | | 26:35 | Jason Whitlock’s “demonic” halftime show rant |

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Summary Tone & Style

The episode is brash, irreverent, and a bit off-color, with hosts riffing on news and weird viral stories in their signature, rapid-fire, wisecracking style. The conversation is peppered with pop culture references, inside jokes, and a bit of old-school radio edginess, making for an engaging, if sometimes NSFW, listen.

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Best for listeners who enjoy:

• Offbeat news stories
• Mocking office culture and generational quirks
• NFL and pop culture tangents
• Surprising viral videos
• Unfiltered, edgy humor

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Transcript

[A]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP guns.com your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. It's John Holmer here from the morning sickness and it's time to talk again about my friends at Trajan Wealth. I always talk to you about the will and trust, the estate plan that I put together with Kent at Trajan Wealth. Kent was unbelievable. And, man, you want to make sure medical power of attorney and power of attorney are established. Because if something bad happens and you don't have anybody speaking for you, somebody you don't know will keep control of your life even when you're not in control. All you have to do is get it done. Today at Trajan Wealth. 480-990-3300. Trajan wealth legal services are offered through trades in the State Law Firm LLCs still streaming Homberg's Morning Sickness online at 98kupd.com we're ready to go with all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report is brought to you by all pro shade concepts. Arizona's best patio shades. 20 years of shade, they say two decades of quality custom installed patio shades, awnings and sunscreens. You know what I was thinking, Brady? When they come to your house for an estimate, they should just walk around with an umbrella the whole time that you are under to make you realize how great it's about to be. They never ever idea, they never ever let you stand in the sun, ever. Little marketing idea. Between that and shooting pigs at Gaza, I'm full of them. You got free installation and all products, free estimates. These shades there get custom built and they'll block up to 95% of the sun's UV rays. And that means they're gonna help you out there. That's the bad stuff. Cut the dust and wind, drop the temps about 20 degrees. I mean, what is going on in your world that you still have that section of your house that isn't shaded? Get on it. AllProchade.com that's where you go. Brady reported.

[B]

Good Tuesday morning to you, Phoenix.

[A]

Hello, world. Hi.

[B]

Happy Pet tricks day.

[A]

Do you have, do you have any weird tricks that your dogs do?

[B]

Ziggy does the standard sit down, the.

[A]

Sit stand stay, and the paw shake.

[B]

Yeah, big on that. Both sides.

[A]

What do you mean?

[B]

Oh, both both hands.

[A]

Yeah, I know. I. I've taught my dog Jack ham right from left. And I come home and I do a thing where I'm like, are you ready? And he's like, just you could see him get excited. I'm like, it's time for sweet greets. He loves that phrase. I'm like, sweet greets right side. And then he comes runs over and leans his left side into me and I pet his right side like sweet greets left side. And he spins around like he knows right from left. It's pretty awesome. It's a weird. And I don't know why we started doing it because he would always lean. He's one of those lean in dogs and lean into my legs and I'd pet him. I'm like, you like that? You like your right side pet? And then I'm like what about your other side? And I'd flip him around. It didn't take long for him to get right and left. Also my dog Jack may be on the spectrum. It's a strange dog, very weird. Every day he goes in for dinner time and he washes his hands in the bowl. He stands in the interest in the water bowl and just like scooches him around and gets out and I'm like you. I mean it's you. If you go in there and open the door before dinner, he's in there. He's in the dog. Just the front feet just stands in there and kind of moves him and then takes him out. None of the other dogs do it. He's a weirdo.

[B]

Couple of basis fun facts. The urine of a diabetic contains so much sugar that it can be purified and made into high end single malt whiskey.

[A]

We can drink diabetic pee and get drunk off of it.

[B]

Sure can.

[A]

I don't believe you. I need that to be proven to me.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

We have videos about that. Who's diabetic around here? I mean I got my guesses. Now that we've got mostly male midday girls. They're usually pre. Pre diabetic. Who's a diabetic woman in the building? Is it illegal to ask that? I think that's probably.

[B]

You probably don't start with that.

[A]

Which one of you guys are diabetic? And can I have a cup of your pee? Those are two questions most offices frown on.

[B]

For almost all the 1800s, maps of Africa had a mountain range called the mountains of Kong.

[A]

Cool.

[B]

Which didn't actually exist. They still show up once in a while on modern maps. And Atlas from 1995 even had them.

[A]

And they're in Africa?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No one cared to just take a look. They just assumed it.

[B]

Or. What is that? Yeah, or is that the, you know, Kilimanjaro or another they just called him.

[A]

But it is mountains.

[B]

Mountains of Kong. Yeah.

[A]

Kilimanjaro's in Africa.

[B]

I think so.

[A]

Yeah. I'll take your word for it. Isn't it?

[B]

Jim Carrey had the chance to play Captain Jack Sparrow in the Pirates of the Caribbean, but turned it down because it conflicted with his filming schedule of Bruce Almighty.

[A]

That one did all right.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Wasn't the Pirates of the Caribbean money? But that would have been pretty good. He'd have been good at that. Although Johnny Depp nailed it with his take on that. Oh, yeah. Jim Carrey is a pirate. Over the top would have been pretty good. Yeah.

[B]

There's a new poll that looked at how different generations use their time in the car. Gen Z adults are the generation most likely to want a calming environment or complete silence on their morning commute. 55% of Zoomers claim they enjoy driving in total silence.

[A]

What's a zoomer? Gen Z. Oh, that's what they call them now.

[B]

Yeah. They also are most likely to use their drive to mentally process their workday. Most likely to take an occasional nap in their car.

[A]

Hopefully not driving. Hopefully they're in a carpool situation.

[B]

The survey looked at how different generations use their time in the car, and each age group is a little different. Millennials are the most likely to think about the future or make plans while driving. So more obsessed with multitasking or being productive. If you're a Gen X, congrats. You still like jamming out, Rocking out in the car to tunes.

[A]

That's me.

[B]

89 said listen to music in their car.

[A]

Is their top driving NFL Network or just music? Rock music or an engaging radio show. But I happen to be busy when that's on. See, I'm providing it.

[B]

There was a time when some people considered a badge of honor to show up to work even when they were under the weather. I know.

[A]

Long time ago. I used to feel that way.

[B]

In a new survey, 86% of people say they they're concerned about their own health. When a co worker comes in work to work visibly sick.

[A]

Used to have to drag people out of work. And now it's like you get the sniffles and nobody wants you there. It's totally different. Bosses used to get mad when you took too many sick days. Worst calling in sick here. Oh, my God. Oh, you especially because you were alone. Yeah. It's like, what do you care? Just get in there. Right? Yeah. Now it's. I. I changed my tune on that. I used to say that, you know, just get into work. Our immune systems will be fine. And then everybody started to lose their minds. It's not worth the hassle. People show up to work with Mercer and stuff. Yeah. Remember that guy we worked with, Fred? Yeah. Used to always walk around. Fred. Never taken a day off in my entire life. Not one. You're gonna regret that someday. And then they fired him and never took a day. Like, that was his big fight back. I should have taken more time off. Like, he'd do vacations, but he never took a sick day in, like, 19 years. You should do that. I forget who the person is downstairs that told me. Great plan. They come to work when they're sick and take sick days when they're just fine. So it's like, why would I waste a day being sick at home? I've got these free days. I'm not gonna say, oh, my God. So I'm like, that's genius. Like, I show up to work, if I'm sick, I don't care. Somebody else gets sick, that's fine. But I show up to work sick, and then I got those sick days. I use those for days. I want to just do something else.

[B]

I'm guessing it's the one with the adjustable bed in his cubicle.

[A]

It's a girl. I think I know who it is. No, I'm saying the guy's a girl. It's our sales. Our sales department. I figured he guessed it. I don't think many people are like, if you worked here, you'd know exactly who I'm talking about. But it's a great. I never thought of that. Why would I use sick days to actually be sick? If I'm calling in sick, it's because I want to do something else that day. And then I'll just show up to. Nobody ever gets, like, you know, super sick to the point where you can't. Like, sometimes food poison, I'll do that. I never thought of that before. Like, food poisoning, throwing up.

[B]

Probably the most common is you come to work with a cold. That's just. I got a cold.

[A]

I get. Like, our job's a little different. Because if my head's foggy and I can't talk, and this is no fun for anybody. So I just like, you know, I'll chop it down. But, man, that's a brilliant plan. If you're, like, calling in sick and actually staying home sick, that's dumb.

[B]

Go to work in Pensacola, Florida. There's a restaurant called the Shrimp Basket. And they got a cook, Donnell, Star, Stallworth. And he Makes this really good, you know, gumbo. And they have a customer there that's been coming in for a cup of his gumbo for the past 10 years. Every day shows up at 11am his first one in gets the cup of gumbo.

[A]

And Donnell saying gumbo. Just don't say it anymore. We understand.

[B]

I'll notice.

[A]

Annoying word.

[B]

He didn't come in one morning for the gumbo.

[A]

There we go. Too many times you've said gumbo in that.

[B]

Sounds like this isn't right.

[A]

He's dead.

[B]

They went in and donell checked on the guy's house, knew where he lived.

[A]

The cook did.

[B]

Yep. And the dude is 78 years old, but end up he fell, broke some ribs, couldn't get up and he was down for a while, just laying on hell. Didn't check it out. Yeah. Could have died, saved him. And guess what?

[A]

God damn it. You hit gumbo like five times in two sentences. There's a lot of gumbo.

[B]

McDonald's is bringing back Monopoly.

[A]

Didn't they have a documentary about this, like going haywire Fix the glitch? Wasn't it like they never had any million dollar tags?

[B]

Somebody on the inside kept.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Handing off all the big names.

[A]

Oh, yeah, they were.

[B]

And it was all pocketing the price. There was like a collective of like 12 of them.

[A]

The whole thing was vest lead. It was just not on the up and up at all. No, we wouldn't have got caught. No, that's what I'm saying. The one thing about the Monopoly thing that wasn't mob is that they got sloppy McMillions.

[B]

It was the documentary on the HBO.

[A]

They stole from all of us. Holberg's morning sickness. Holberg's morning sickness. 28K repeating Holberg's morning sickness. I used to play that constantly. I had everything but like the one extra and I had covered that board and I could not even Baltic and Mediterranean, the Bengals and Browns of Monopoly and I could not get that second one.

[B]

Well, they fixed the glitch. It's back in action. Same thing. You basically buy your item and you peel the tag to get your properties.

[A]

Is there an NFL Monopoly board?

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

See where? See where they put things?

[B]

Okay, which team?

[A]

Well, the Cowboys have to be Park Place or Boardwalk.

[B]

Oh, you mean all teams. I think they do them for individuals.

[A]

Because they never did the NFL one where they. Because that would be insulting. When they put the Browns and Bengals, that first row where you get Browns, Bengals, Cardinals, Lions would be on there even though they're bucking that trend. Right now. Just terrible franchise for a while.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Has to be in order. Browns.

[B]

They have to update it.

[A]

Browns, Bengals, Jaguars. Yeah, you start getting into some weird stuff there. The Raiders have slipped. They used to be kind of. I'd put the Raiders somewhere around Marvin Gardens. The Yellows. And then the green ones would be. I don't know. He's like the Packers. The Steelers, maybe. The packers would be park place and the Cowboys would be Boardwalk. And then you'd have Steelers. I found one from 1998. Oh, yeah. Who. Who's. Where are the who's. Who's Baltic and Mediterranean? It's got to be the Browns and Bengals. Gotta be.

[B]

And do they still do the go to jail thing? Probably have that more often.

[A]

They probably just random looks like. Put them in there. Cardinals are the Colts and the Cardinals. Oh, man, that's Baltic and Mediterranean. Yeah. Then the Bears are Rams and the Saints Oriental or whatever they called that.

[B]

Cowboys around the corner. So this must have been related to where they finished the year before.

[A]

Well, this is just Broncos and.

[B]

And packers were in the Super Bowl.

[A]

That's why Steelers are North Carolina. That makes sense. The green ones are good there. But to get the Panthers. And this wasn't. This was random draws because I see the.

[B]

But that's right, because the Jaguars were in the division or in the conference championship in 98.

[A]

That's true. Panthers, Jags, both in there. That's true. Packers. And you're right. Packers and Broncos were in the Super Bowl.

[B]

Browns and Bengals not even on the board.

[A]

So this was. They aren't. They didn't even. Are. They're not the board. No. There's the bungles. They're over there in the orange.

[B]

Are you sure? Or is that the.

[A]

That's a tiger.

[B]

Tiger. Oh, yeah.

[A]

Yeah. There's the bungles. The Browns didn't make the board.

[B]

The Browns.

[A]

Were they a team in 98? I don't think they were there anymore.

[B]

Yeah, you're right.

[A]

Yeah. That's 98.

[B]

Where are the Ravens at on there, then?

[A]

Well, they weren't on there. Well, yeah, they should be.

[B]

There's over by Go to jail or free parking.

[A]

I mean, I don't know. Well, it's probably by the jail because it's Baltimore.

[B]

Was the Oilers still there? Is that the Oilers logo? Wow.

[A]

And the R words. Yeah, the retards are up there. There's the ravens with their original logo next to the Bills. Oh, yeah. So that's a. That's basic, like 98 celebration monopoly. But if you did it for like franchise history. Brown Spangles.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Are the Mediterranean. Baltic Cardinals, Lions, Jags. Are the next three. That weird pale purple Oriental Avenue. And looks like they change it every. Every year, so. Because here's the 99 edition. Yeah. So this would be the one. So every time you win a Super bowl, that's the. So 99 would be. That's a Broncos again. Yeah.

[B]

Isn't it Broncos and Falcons or who. Who'd they.

[A]

Or is this. Yeah. Broncos and Falcons. Yeah. All right, that's kind of neat, but I want the real one. Bengals. Yeah. The Bungles were second worst. Eagles and Bungles. Yeah. Making their annual appearance as Baltic Avenue.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

That'S bad.

[B]

All right, there's this dude who, claiming to be Colonel Sanders, great, great, great nephew. And he says KFC blocked him from complaining about them sexualizing Colonel Sanders. So he leaked the secret chicken recipe.

[A]

Salt and pepper, 11 spices. Salt, lots of salt and pepper.

[B]

And according to him, the 11 spices, he puts them out there.

[A]

He nailed it.

[B]

Sage, garlic powder. That's a whole rundown.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

For this guy, whether he's claiming to be legit or he's just getting fame, he's gone viral for it, but he's been doing it for the past three or four years.

[A]

Yeah. See, KFC can't get mad at him because then it would be a dead giveaway that he got it right.

[B]

Yeah, but he's on the. You know, if you put the Tick Tock video out there claiming to.

[A]

What they've been doing to sexualizing the Colonel cousin.

[B]

His Colonel was great, great, great nephew.

[A]

That's not a cousin.

[B]

That's what he's claiming to be.

[A]

He's not a cousin. That would be his uncle.

[B]

I thought he referred too much. I had to. I listened to it briefly.

[A]

But if you listen to the story you just told. No, he was reading the recipe. Oh, that's right.

[B]

The only thing I retained.

[A]

Of course, you got lost in that, because when you say nephew, cousins are out. That's an uncle. All right.

[B]

And some people are claiming, you know, he's doing it for a publicity stunt.

[A]

But no, he can do it all he wants. He's giving kfc, definitely dresses up.

[B]

He has the tie, the Southern tie.

[A]

How are they sexualizing him?

[B]

The image of the Colonel?

[A]

That's what I'm asking him.

[B]

Younger and sexier. Yeah.

[A]

I'm not sexualized the Colonel at all. They made him.

[B]

I don't necessarily see it.

[A]

Reba McIntyre played the Colonel for a little bit, and they had a couple girls do it. But I Don't.

[B]

Maybe that's where it started.

[A]

But I don't find that was the sexiest I've ever found Reba McIntyre when she was dressed as the Colonel. Otherwise she looks like a Jeff Dunham puppet with the perma smile.

[B]

She does look carved out every day.

[A]

Going on right there. Like what in the world is going on with that joker smile. You used his cosmetics from the 90 movie.

[B]

The first ever State of stake report by Cargill. They're the company that did it. It was a report to find out what Americans eat and what their best steak cuts are their favorites.

[A]

Are you backsliding a little? Your algorithm seems to be heavy food. Yeah.

[B]

This is heavy food.

[A]

Yeah, I know. I'm starting to worry about you.

[B]

This is the product we actually pay for. So they're starting to know.

[A]

They know Brady. This is. But Brady goes through all those stories and picks was. This is sort of like their. This is the ending. This is the last salvo that they're throwing at Brady to try to get him back in algorithm. Brady's gonna fight back. He's not going to eat your terrible foods.

[B]

It found There are only four main cuts we eat now.

[A]

Filet, NY T bone and rib eyes.

[B]

Are the most ordered steak in America. 52% of us would order that. Sirloin is next. Then filet, then New York Sirloin's because of Roadhouse.

[A]

Yeah. I was going to say the steak and egg places.

[B]

Cracker Barrel and Boomers love prime rib on the grill is the favorite way to cook it. Not even close. 73% of Americans say they prefer preferred that method.

[A]

This is like talking about next girlfriend.

[B]

And your next steak probably won't be from a fancy restaurant.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

According to the survey, over 90% of steak dinners are ordered at casual chains like Outback Apple, East Texas Road.

[A]

They're packed full. Yep. Texas Grill. Yuck.

[B]

Yeah, I know. You've seen this.

[A]

He wants his box out. The best phrase I've ever heard in my life in a restaurant. And it was directed at me. He's breathing. He'll make it. Literally just choked to death.

[B]

I know.

[A]

Threw up on the floor. And she still delivered my drink before anything else while I'm getting underneath. Maneuver. The worst time.

[B]

All the time.

[A]

I know. And nobody lifted a finger. Toledo's not. One person said that's not how you do that. You're raping him. He learned his Heimlich maneuver skills from watching Mrs. Doubtfire. You just pick the person up and wiggle them. And nothing. I swallowed whatever it Was it went down.

[B]

I noticed it didn't come out.

[A]

And then the lady, while I'm getting the Heimlich maneuver, after drooling and puking on the floor, reached under the Heimlich maneuver to get me my second drink.

[B]

But I thought you said it was dedication steakhouse syndrome and not a piece of food.

[A]

Steakhouse syndrome. It was the piece. It was potato. Oh, it's too hot. Hot. Lodged in my. Yeah. And burning it. As it lodged. It slowly just slid down hot lava and torched my entire swallowing device. Swallowing device. Goodbye. Name? Sup? Oh, maybe that's a good bar name. More. So.

[B]

I know you saw this, but there's three cops on horseback in Lubbock, Texas last Monday. They saw a guy walking on the street instead of the sidewalk. Seemed suspicious. So they went up and talked to him. Thought he might have drugs on him. So they asked to search his pockets and he said no. And one of the cops made a dumb joke and the guy took him seriously because he went up and he goes, this is my drug sniffing horse.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And the guy ran.

[A]

He believed it. And he had drugs and he ran from a horse.

[B]

Got about 60 yards before the horse took him down.

[A]

Like trotting next to him go, you want to, you want to tame it down for a second? You're not going to outrun this thing. I'm on Secretariat. Jackass.

[B]

42 year old Joseph Ramirez is now facing charges for evading arrest.

[A]

How much did he have on him?

[B]

It didn't say.

[A]

Did it didn't tell you that it? Huh? He ran from there.

[B]

If that evidence was drugs or not.

[A]

Why would you run from a guy who said, I'm a drug sniffing horse if you didn't have drugs on?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, that's right. I want to know. Yeah, like how much he had on there. Right?

[B]

Yeah. Usually they do.

[A]

You know what do a breakdown. People make fun of Mr. Ramirez for running from that, but you ever seen the nose on a horse? This is bigger than mine nostrils. I would imagine that it wouldn't say there. If he said, I've got a drug sniffing horse, I would sit back and go, that's probably a thing.

[B]

I'm sure you could train it.

[A]

Yeah, I'm not sure about that. But if I had drugs on me at that moment, I might, I might run Holmberg's morning sickness. And then afterwards. You're an idiot. Horses can't do that. I'm like, did you see its nose? Like if I came up and said, I can smell your period, you'd Believe me, because you look at my nose, you're like, that guy can probably smell that. A horse's nose. And they're always. I would run from that too, and then later be the idiot on the news. But at least I'd have drugs on me if I didn't have drugs. And he said, take away. Well, yeah. Well, at the very least, I'm running from a drug sniffing something. If he had an elephant, it was a drug sniffing elephant. I'd run because I have drugs. If I didn't have drugs, I'd be like, oh, that's awesome. I didn't know that horses did that. I might talk to him about it and then have the cop go, I was lying. And then laugh. Is the cop in trouble for doing that?

[B]

No, I don't.

[A]

Is that like a legal, like, lie? Like, he fooled them?

[B]

I think they can. I think he can drink and lie because you.

[A]

Was he pulling the guy over?

[B]

Well, there's three horses there.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And the one finally up there. There are all three around the guy.

[A]

But what was he doing walking in the street?

[B]

He was walking the street. They're like, it looks suspicious.

[A]

Ramirez, I see what you're doing. Look suspicious. Eh. Is it in Gilbert? See a suspicious man enjoying the day. Could you describe him? All right, we're on our way.

[B]

He likes this sound.

[A]

And I said, peine and he turned around, so I know he's one of them. We're already there, sir. Thank you for being such a wonderful citizen.

[B]

Got a couple of radio videos. First one's an electric jump or shocking jump. Don't have that one. You don't.

[A]

It's not coming out.

[B]

You got shocked. This guy was on top of a building and jumped on to grab the wires.

[A]

Oh, and it's a live wire. All right. Oh, no.

[B]

Taking that one down.

[A]

Oh, I don't like the headline that's coming up next, though.

[B]

Yeah, we've got a football another.

[A]

This is Jalen Brown, wide receiver, Arkansas snaps his leg.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, God. After Tyreek Hill last night. Oh, God. End zone. Oh. Oh. His leg made a z inj. He went for the catch and the toe dragon. Oh, man.

[B]

Turf eater.

[A]

And they lost to Notre Dame, 42 to 13. And that's the third quarter with six minutes left.

[B]

Yeah, I think it ended up being 56, 13, something like that.

[A]

I would break my leg, too, just to not get hit anymore by Notre Dame's players. That was in the end zone. That's just. God just hates AR Kansas. You're playing Notre Dame and you finally get a shot at the end zone and your receiver explodes.

[B]

Well, in college you only need one foot down, John.

[A]

That's true. You could hobble out there and grab a couple more.

[B]

Next one, you got a broad hot dogging on the motorcycle, doing the. Putting the front brake on and peeling out the back wheel.

[A]

Is that Ohio or Puerto Rico's flag?

[B]

I think that's Puerto Rico. I think so. Yeah.

[A]

He's waving a Puerto Rican flag before the motorcycle.

[B]

The burnout.

[A]

Oh, she's about to burn out. She thinks. Oh, she's.

[B]

Oh, yeah, it's working.

[A]

She's taking off.

[B]

Looking pretty good. Doing pretty good.

[A]

Oh, Jennifer Lopez just killed eight people. You gotta. You gotta hold the brake, sister. You can't just. You can't just grip that thing. The tire's not even spinning. There it goes. She got a little of it. And then take my hand up a break. Unfortunately, because of this accident, Bad Bunny's no longer going to do the halftime show.

[B]

It's canceled.

[A]

You see that? Jason Whitlock went on TV yesterday and said that it's. That demons are at work. It's going to be a demonic halftime show.

[B]

What has happened?

[A]

And he somehow brought Charlie Kirk into this.

[B]

What?

[A]

I don't even know how you do that. That's a stretch. And then to whip it around to Charlie Kirk and how America's now. And then he said something about American sports are built on Christian ideals. And I'm like, I don't think so. I hear the N word a lot, man. Yeah, I'm not so sure. That's a. Like, I run this. Yeah, I know. I'm on Ross St. Brown wasn't thinking of Christianity.

[B]

All the times you've seen LeBron just.

[A]

Shouted in court, oh, yeah, that's great. But yeah, so then he said it's demons and cross dressing and indoctrination of children. Like, how weak are the parents of those kids that they can't even watch Bad Bunny without becoming sexualized transvestites? Immediately. Like, I want the outfits, like 14 minutes of their lives. Like, that's what I'm gonna start doing forever. Bad Bunny does it. I do it. I don't listen to my parents. But 14 minutes of bad Bunny.

[B]

And I didn't even know that about Bad Bunny.

[A]

I'm gonna start sucking, dressing like a woman.

[B]

You'll watch him differently now. Yeah, well, you know, I'm not watching that.

[A]

That's right. You might, because you're worried.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Show up to work in a dress with a. In your hand.

[B]

Last One's another genius on a motorcycle trying to impress his friends.

[A]

There's Puerto Rico, too.

[B]

This looks like you. Isn't this a touring bike?

[A]

Yeah, it does. This is Brady's friends in Germany showing.

[B]

You can cross even though there's water.

[A]

An old man just trying to ride a motorcycle through a raging river. What is he thinking?

[B]

Is that actually a road, which I.

[A]

Can tell you right now, in its own isn't gonna go well? He's halfway down, everybody. Water wins. Water wins. And now he's just floating away. It's the Indian Bend Wash. It's a motorcycle. You're just not gonna win. Yeah, because she got an insurance policy on the guy. It didn't go well. Halfway right about where I expect. About halfway across the road, the bike starts to lose to the water. I love the lady going, all right. Go die today, daddy.

[B]

It's all right. If you did it to Edel Vice Tours and you bought the deductible $500, you're fine. You can lose the whole bike.

[A]

It depends on what's in that backpack of his, though. That's personal. That's. That's the tough loss there. Yep. I could have told you that wouldn't have gone well. Genius. Is that it?

[B]

That's it.

[A]

All right. What do you got? All right, A little light today, but.

[B]

We'Ll start off with this one.

[A]

Okay. Is this guy lucky or unlucky? All right. Coming down a hill of stairs. Is that stairs? He's on stairs. There's a guy just playing guitar halfway down the staircase. Here's another guy backing up. He looks drunk. Oh, he drops that. He's doing somersaults down this gigantic staircase. And the guy playing guitar.

[B]

I'm thinking unlucky right now.

[A]

I don't know. Oh. And then he almost gets to his feet. He hits the. He's on his feet.

[B]

And now it's finally.

[A]

There's more stairs.

[B]

This is like a Hollywood thing. It's like a Buster Keaton thing.

[A]

You would think. Dude is all the way down this gigantic staircase. Stick is hit. And he gets back up. He's okay saying lucky. Is that a woman? I think that might be.

[B]

Wait a minute.

[A]

I don't know. I mean, maybe.

[B]

Wait for Hulk Hogan.

[A]

There it is.

[B]

Landed. Can't believe you fell.

[A]

I'm with you there, Brady. That's a good one. Normally, Brady would fall for that, but that is. That is definitely not real.

[B]

I knew it.

[A]

Right? From the Chinese bowling. Chinese bowling. There's a guy going 100 miles an hour through A crosswalk. Oh, my goodness.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

He went like a thousand miles an hour through a crosswalk. And then. Oh, here's the other angle. Oh, this is a different one. Oh, it's a different one. Oh, geez. Another guy just blowing through a Chinese neighborhood.

[B]

That's the same angle. Same car.

[A]

Ye. How about that? And then, of course, all the. Oh, here's an angle from the actual car or from another car. Oh, my God. Oh, that's a car. It's another car's camera angle. Wow. Toledo sees this. That's just a bunch of them at this point, isn't it?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, here comes a guy. Oh, that's. I think it's all the same thing. So many. Quite so. So many mopeds in China.

[B]

Another one.

[A]

No, a lot of cameras. I mean, I don't want to sound.

[B]

That's the same one.

[A]

I don't want to sound like stereotyping a person, but they've got a lot of cameras over there. That's a camera filled nation. All right, how about some tree cutting? All right. This guy's cutting down a big tree. I like this. He's cutting the tree down with one of them long.

[B]

That's a good one.

[A]

Eight or nine foot chainsaws. And oh, the swinging. Oh, the branch swings all the way around. Takes a.

[B]

There's the after of it.

[A]

The branch comes all the way around the tree and hits the dude in the face. And then there's the after in the hospital. From his upper tooth rack through his nose is just a gaping hole into his head and it's hanging off to the side. The tree just tore his face off. And it is. If you could. I don't think you get realistic enough. His eyes are still moving around. Wow. Wow. All right. Okay. Oh, here's two. That's not. No, come on. All right. I think I want to see that. There's two girls in workout pants and they. They've got. Oh, they're farting. And then the other one drinks the juice that she just farted in. Oh, they were too hot for that.

[B]

I told you.

[A]

That one's got a little bit of a front to look at, but that's about it. And then we'll just end with this one. All right, there we go. Speed Racer, man, like, Speed Racer Water Gun attack. Now Speed Racer, That's Pikachu and Pokemon. Oh, man, there's a girl who's just squirtle firing. Squirtle is. Yeah, that's the Pokemon. She chose you. Wow. She's farting out a massive amount of shower water. How in the world? I don't know. It's Bellagio. Did her body hold that much water? It was not a big body. And that's all we got.

[B]

You do have some.

[A]

That was weird.

[B]

Intestines storage.

[A]

I know we do, but I mean, can you do that?

[B]

I've never tried.

[A]

And by the way, also super clear. Like Scottsdale's drinking water is not that clean looking. That was pure. I think she might have a filter in there anyway. Say 24. There's your Brady report. Merc Madness is right around the corner. If we can make the phones work.

[B]

Merc Mania.

[A]

Anything but fever. They don't have a team called the Madness, do they? They just play our house the whole time. Maybe it's a very, very, very fine house. It's 8. 24. We'll do it. Merc Mania Madness, we're gonna call it. Starting now. 500, 000 from 98. KUPD and Hubbard Broadcasting on the line. If we make our phones work, I'm gonna randomly dial one person. Answer my question, which I know you can't, and it's not that tough. 623 area code. The first number is a two. The last one's a nine. Somewhere in betwixt. I'll just randomly smash numbers. If the phones work. If we can't get the phones to work tomorrow. I'm not kidding. $1 million of Hubbard's money, and it is the safest bet ever. We will be able to randomly call anyone in the city and ask this question without any concern that they'll get it right. And it's not a hard question. It's not a trick. Merc Mania. If the phones were coming up next. That's 98, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erected.