09-30-25 - Day Two Of Trying To Execute John's Merc Mania Trivia To A Random Caller But Phones Might Still Be Broken

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – Arizona

Episode: 09-30-25 – Day Two Of Trying To Execute John’s Merc Mania Trivia To A Random Caller But Phones Might Still Be Broken
Date: September 30, 2025
Host(s): John Holmberg (lead), Brady Bogen, Brett Holmberg, Dick Toledo, Donovan

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Overview

In this lively episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness, the crew continues their comedic struggle to launch "Merc Mania"—a high-stakes trivia contest meant to celebrate the Phoenix Mercury’s appearance in the WNBA Finals. Holmberg, determined to award a random caller a whopping $500,000 (or even his rental house!) if they can correctly answer his Mercury-related trivia, is repeatedly thwarted by technical issues and a phone system that simply refuses to cooperate. The segment spirals into a comedic exploration of aging radio technology, office frustrations, and the absurd lengths the team considers just to make the contest work.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Phoenix Mercury Craze & “Merc Mania”

• Holmberg opens by riffing on the citywide "Merc Mania" as Phoenix celebrates its WNBA team’s Finals berth.
  • "Your Phoenix or Arizona Mercury, I’m not sure what they call themselves, is in the WNBA finals. And that’s W for wohman. They’re in the finals and this city’s going crazy." — John (00:53)
• Jokes abound about face-painting fever and doomed businesses hiring artists to paint Mercury logos on their windows.
• The team leans into the bit, emphasizing the city's (possibly exaggerated) excitement.

2. “Merc Mania” Trivia: Big Money on the (Broken) Line

• Holmberg sets up the now infamous “Merc Mania” trivia, boasting confidence that no random Arizonan could answer his Mercury question, all for $500,000.
• “I will sell a rental property. If you answer my question, I will give you...” — John (04:19)
• Technical failures foil the contest, providing both frustration and the show’s running comedic theme.
• The prospect escalates with every failed attempt: "That means the number goes up tomorrow to $750,000. Then I’m gonna have to start worrying because that’s about the value of the house." — John (10:23)

3. Chronicle of Phone System Disasters

• The struggle with the phones—punching the console, unplugging cables, "hammer-fisting" equipment—becomes an extended improv routine.
  • “When you punch the phones, your headphones go out.” — John (03:49)
  • “Did you see that? I punched it and it made lights.” — John (03:54)
  • “No, I hit it with the side of my hand though. That’s not a punch. That’s a hammer fist.” — John (02:36)
• The team brainstorms increasingly desperate workarounds, including using another studio's phone, three-way calls with listeners, using a CB radio, and reviving ancient phone tech.
• The mounting absurdity draws incredulity and inside jokes about the state of their equipment and support staff.
  • "Do we have anyone who works at a phone? Do they still have, like, phone men show up with that weird fake phone they used to keep on their hip?" — John (11:53)

4. Paranoia and Listener Skepticism

• Listeners suspect the phone fiasco is a clever stall, not genuine, prompting playful defensiveness.
  • “Sounds like using quote, phone issues as a cop out to move, Holmberg. Dude, I get it. I would think the same thing, but I am. I’m trying.” — John (12:35)

5. Radio Engineering and Incompetence

• The hosts mock themselves and their engineers, comparing radio tech support to inefficient mechanics:
  • “When you call the guys to fix stuff, they come up and just look at it and then say they’ll do it... Like three months later, your car. Have you looked at it? You know, I get to that.” — John (15:29)
• Office politics and “just stare at it” fixes become running gags.

6. Escalating Stakes & Hyperbolic Offers

• The prize grows with each failed day, climbing to the value of Holmberg's house.
  • “It’s going to be Powerball jackpots every time this is over with. That’s a good question for a billion dollars. And by then maybe somebody will know some answers.” — John (18:26)
• The idea of using contest winnings to finally buy the studio a working phone system is floated.
  • “That’s the deal. You got to buy us a phone system. Can you help out with 500,000, hook a brother up.” — Brett (13:00)

7. Analog Nostalgia and Surreal Solutions

• The group reminisces about “universal call” phone boxes, plug-in wall phones, MagicJacks, CB radios, and simpler times when wires and busy signals were reassuring proof things worked.
  • “Remember wires? They were so awesome. Some. I loved wires. You plug it into a wall and then you plug it into the phone. And like, every time it was successful...” — John (16:29)
• Joking proposals range from running a residential line into the studio to holding the contest from a payphone or a QT/Circle K store.

8. Mercury & WNBA as the Butt of the Joke

• Underneath the technical chaos is a running joke about how difficult Mercury or WNBA trivia really is ("No one’s gonna answer a thing.").
• “All I’m trying to do is make fools of the Phoenix Mercury again. They’re in the finals. And I will put...a house on the line that I can randomly dial anyone in this city and, and they won’t answer my question. Simple question. Without the Internet, they can't do it." — John (14:24)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Phone Mayhem:
  • "I’m pounding this block. The phone’s over there. Yeah John, engineering is pretty much just punch it and hope.” — John & Brett (02:36)
• On Listener Skepticism:
  • "Sounds like using quote, phone issues as a cop out to move Holmberg. Dude, I get it. I would think the same thing, but I am. I’m trying. $500,000 dollars." — John (12:35)
• On Prize Escalation:
  • “That means the number goes up tomorrow to $750,000. Then I’m gonna have to start worrying because that’s about the value of the house.” — John (10:23)
  • “With these phones, it’s going to be Powerball jackpots every time this is over with.” — Brett (18:23)
• Radio Tech Support Satire:
  • “When you call the guys to fix stuff, they come up and just look at it and then say they'll do it. When there’s nothing going on. I think it’s just a giant admission that they don’t know how to fix this, so they just ignore it.” — John (15:29)
• Vintage Phone Nostalgia:
  • “Do we have anyone who works at a phone? Do they still have, like, phone men show up with that weird fake phone they used to keep on their hip?” — John (11:53)

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Episode Timeline & Key Timestamps

• Merc Mania Bit Begins: 00:53
• Phones Fail, Holmberg Punches Equipment: 02:36–04:15
• Brainstorming Phone Workarounds: 04:47–07:24
• Listener Skepticism Addressed: 12:35
• Wild Prize Escalation: 10:23–11:13; 17:22–18:26
• Analog Nostalgia and Radio Satire: 13:39–16:47
• Final Attempts, Jokes, and Closing Chaos: 17:10–19:26

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Tone & Style

• Casual, irreverent, and self-deprecating.
• True to the show’s reputation, the hosts are quick-witted, often sarcastic, and delight in breaking the fourth wall to needle both their audience and themselves.
• Running gags, callbacks, and energetic banter drive the episode, with a signature blend of local humor and radio nostalgia.

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Takeaway for Listeners

Even if you missed the live broadcast, this episode encapsulates Holmberg’s Morning Sickness at its best—blending local sports hype with offbeat humor and relatable workplace chaos. While "Merc Mania" remains unplayed thanks to an ancient phone system, the real win is the team’s ability to spin technical fiasco into comedic gold.
And for tomorrow? $750,000 is (theoretically) on the line—if only they can get a call through.

Transcript

[Brett Holmberg]

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[John Holmer]

It's John Holmer here from the morning sickness and it's time to talk again about my friends at Trajan Wealth. I always talk to you about the will and trust, the estate plan that I put together with Kent at Trajan Wealth. Kent was unbelievable. And, man, you want to make sure medical power of attorney and power of attorney are established. Because if something bad happens and you don't have anybody speaking for you, somebody you don't know will keep control of your life. Even when you're not in control. All you have to do is get it done. Today at Trajan Wealth. 480-990-3300. Trajan wealth legal services are offered through trades in the state law firm llc.

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[John Holmer]

That's okay.

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[John Holmer]

Experian still streaming. Hs morning [e-mail] Ah, it still holds up. That one gets me going right there. The weather the way it is. Brett running out there, grabbing that song and hitting a bike or a trail. My goodness, forget about it. Oh, boy, here we go. Mania. Your Phoenix or Arizona Mercury, I'm not sure what they call themselves is in WNBA finals. And that's W for wohman. They're in the finals and this city's going crazy. Face painting. Everybody's face painting. Putting that, hiring those guys to come over to your restaurant to paint the logo in the in the window. Two signs your restaurant's going out of business is the day you call the dude to paint in your window and the day he shows up. Oh, I'm excited for Merc Madness. Brady. Merc Mania Madness. A simple question, and I'm telling you right now, I've got the most confidence I've ever had in the game that I can randomly phone up. Well, maybe. God damn it. They just went down again. I had them going, told you. $500,000, Brady.

[Donovan]

Make it happen.

[John Holmer]

I'm going to randomly ring up a human being after here. I'm engineering right now. Please.

[Brett Holmberg]

John Fonzarella.

[John Holmer]

I look him and they go, please stop pounding the phone into the console. I'm Like, I'm. I'm not. I'm pounding this block. The phone's over there. Yeah, John, Engineering is pretty much just punch it and hope. They actually asked me that when something was bent on the board and they said, did you punch that? No, I hit it with the side of my hand, though. That's not a punch. That's a hammer fist. You didn't ask that.

[Donovan]

You got to be more specific.

[John Holmer]

You got to be more specific. And if you're going to start asking dumb questions anyway. So if the phones work, the number I've been told to call has a 623 area code. Brett chose that.

[Brett Holmberg]

I got to help out the west side a little bit.

[John Holmer]

You know, it starts with a 2, ends with a 9. In between that, I can hit any numbers I want, any buttons I want. Oh, boy. Phones are going bananas now. I don't understand why it's doing this. Well, well, there you go, everybody. That was merc mania.

[Brett Holmberg]

So we just raising the price tomorrow.

[John Holmer]

Million dollars. I just punched the phone and half my headphones went out.

[Brett Holmberg]

Yeah, mine did too. My one side. My right side went out. I swear to God.

[John Holmer]

So when you punch the phones, your headphones go out.

[Donovan]

Unbelievable.

[John Holmer]

Did you see that? I punched it and it made lights. Oh, it kind of works if you hit it real hard. Hold on.

[Donovan]

Dial.

[John Holmer]

I think I've got something here. No, no, I think I punched it out. Now I think it's out cold. Isn't there a.

[Donovan]

Unplug it?

[Brett Holmberg]

We tried that yesterday.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, this thing's no good. $500,000 sitting in my pocket. I will sell a rental property. If you answer my question, I will give you.

[Donovan]

Working in through Toledo's studio.

[John Holmer]

He had some weird thing that sort of started working but didn't. And then he tried to dial and it just shut down. All we could do is go down to that sports station that no one listens to and use their phones. Hey, how this?

[Donovan]

Well, yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[John Holmer]

I got an idea.

[Donovan]

In Toledo's let's place.

[John Holmer]

How about. Okay, everybody listening? Let's play here. Let's do this. How about when I give you the clue, we all just move over to AM. What is it, 1060? Yeah, and then we'll do Merc Madness on that phone. And then we'll come back over here. Let's see if we have any juice in this world at all, and try to go over. We'll go over to the AM station, and then you'll just see some massive spike in ratings. And then come back to this normalcy. Now, see, people can call. Kenneth, are you on the line? I'm on the line, yeah. Kenneth, I can't do anything about this. I'm trying to call out, so stop it. No.

[Donovan]

Why are you calling in?

[Brett Holmberg]

I just told you, we're doing random calls.

[John Holmer]

We want to call.

[Brett Holmberg]

You guys Googled everything.

[John Holmer]

Are these things because people are calling in? Broken auto attendant. Is that a thing? What does that mean, Brett?

[Brett Holmberg]

I don't know.

[John Holmer]

Change priority. There's a button on my phone that says change priority. You know what? Not a bad ide. I'm gonna switch my priorities here. No longer am I gonna be that philandering drunk I've been my whole life. I've changed my priorities. That almost works. When I hit them, they turn in and see? Now, people.

[Donovan]

Only people with the 623 starts with a 2, end with a 9, call in.

[John Holmer]

This is Donovan. He's a 602. Sorry, Donovan. No can do this. This is ridiculous. I don't understand it. Our studio is a. If we could angle it to where I'm serious about doing this, too. I'm curious. Look, if I have to sell a house for a radio contest, it would be fantastic. I'd be all over the place. Beyond Anderson Cooper, beyond Jussie Waters. If you get on AC, I'd be on AC360 Brady. I'd be on that all day. I'd be on that weird show on MSNBC with that lady that looks drugged with the red hair. There's people just calling Tucker Carlson. Tucker would talk to me.

[Donovan]

Sky News.

[John Holmer]

All the phones are doing or in.

[Donovan]

We get you on the BBC.

[John Holmer]

Who's this? Oh, call ended abruptly. It said. Is this a. Who's this? Are you there? Oh.

[Brett Holmberg]

Oh, there we go again.

[John Holmer]

Okay. Ronnie Calamity, are you there? Yeah, I'm right here. All right, you want to try to play for 523? No, he's not the right number, but I see if I could use the line he's calling on to call out, but we can't. Our phones don't work two days in a row. Yeah, the guy's named Ronnie Calamity. I should give him a prize.

[Brett Holmberg]

Anyway, tomorrow we need to do it. Tell everybody we're doing it and just do it, because then everybody busts up the phone lines.

[John Holmer]

It's your fault, listeners. Yeah, we can't call out because there's too many people calling in. And also, these are broken. Jeez. My system is just not. I don't know what I'm doing engineering anymore. I can't take any of these calls. I don't want to do that because they know what I'm doing. Well, yeah. They already googled it. I'm not giving it. Has to be random. Stupid. Not happening.

[Donovan]

Let's do it stealth.

[John Holmer]

I can't make a call. Okay, Drop all. Hit that again. Open her up. Nope. You guys are just. They want 500 grand. Well, I don't blame them.

[Brett Holmberg]

I would be doing the same damn thing.

[John Holmer]

But you don't have a chance.

[Donovan]

You would. If we're trying to call you.

[John Holmer]

If I'm trying to call out, you'd clog up, prove that it's broken. I'm not kidding. Half a million dollars. It's gonna take me a minute to get the. Get the money together because I know my company's not gonna get behind me on this. They'd be f and do it. That's stupid. But.

[Donovan]

It'S like winning that HGTV home.

[John Holmer]

It is. This is exactly like that. I'll either you'll have an option. You can have my house, or I'll give you 500 grand. But you got to answer my merk mania question. But I can't have you calling in. I got to call out.

[Donovan]

It's right to the final question. It's amazing.

[John Holmer]

It doesn't.

[Donovan]

Because you could do a progressive thing.

[John Holmer]

But, you know, oh, no, no, no. Says, how about the next person that calls in, you ask them to three way call a number that you want, but then the person calling in would want a piece of that because they'd yell the answer. If you've got. If you know, you know what I'm doing. You guys are all in on this together. We're trying to call somebody who's not paying attention. Not you.

[Donovan]

These people have been studying everything.

[John Holmer]

I've created more Merc madness than the Merc have themselves.

[Brett Holmberg]

They should be paying you for this.

[John Holmer]

They should be. I've given them more. Absolutely. Attention than anything you could ever imagine. For no reason at all, one of the listeners decided to take a swing at Steve Moynihan, borrow Moynihan's cell phone and call out. I don't know why he's taking a hit, but it's because we can get him to do whatever we want. Holberg's morning sickness. Holberg's Morning Sickness 28 K U P D Holmberg's Morning sickness well, it looks like another day is in the books of Merc Mad.

[Donovan]

I think Trip hit the phone switch.

[John Holmer]

But he's not gonna have to worry about it. It's my he. No calls out. Oh, hold tight. Dial this. Says I have an outgoing call. Already dialing.

[Brett Holmberg]

Who you calling?

[John Holmer]

I don't know, but if they answer, it's time for Merc Madness. Well, now, hold on now. It went away. God damn this thing. All right, well, we tried. That means the number goes up tomorrow to $750,000. Then I'm gonna have to start worrying because that's about the value of the house. Yeah, that's about the value of the house. And then after commissions and fees and stuff, maybe 20. Ah, 20 years I'll pay you.

[Brett Holmberg]

Oh, so this is like the lottery.

[John Holmer]

Yeah. Well, look, Brett, this is a lot of dough. It's a lot of dough. And again, I'm not worried about it. You're not gonna get this right, Rando.

[Brett Holmberg]

John, everybody wants that money because that's three times the amount of mercury player gets.

[John Holmer]

Exactly. You could. You could buy the mercury with it.

[Brett Holmberg]

I think, and have change left over.

[John Holmer]

Damn it. Why don't they work? Why has no one come up here to fix it in 24 hours? Ah, you're right. Britt's face. You all saw it on the radio. Trying to give away half a million dollars on the radio. It hasn't been done in ages. And. But for. But for our phones not working at all anyway. Well, you saw Brady. People think I'm trying to skirt.

[Donovan]

You know, it was exciting for a.

[John Holmer]

Nobody even comes in while it's going on. Yeah, she's just wandering around. He just wandered around. I don't have fixed phones anyway. Do we have anyone who works at a phone? Do they still have, like, phone men show up with that weird fake phone they used to keep on their hip? Remember that thing? Oh, yeah, just a receiver.

[Donovan]

That could be universal call. They could just tap into a line and start dialing.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, yeah, they'd just. They'd be outside and plug into the side of your house and then start. And they had the rotary.

[Donovan]

How much for that phone?

[John Holmer]

Yeah, I wanted that phone in my room. But you couldn't talk on it. You just. I didn't have. Oh, you could. No, just had a receiver end and then like a dialing thing stick into.

[Brett Holmberg]

Other people's phone lines.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, that was pretty neat.

[Brett Holmberg]

This guy's calling you out.

[John Holmer]

See, Cody, I'm with you. It sounds like a using quote, phone issues as a cop out to move Holberg. Dude, I get it. I would think the same thing, but I am. I'm trying. $500,000. Dollars. And it would be nice if you did win it. If it. If we in fact have to do that. If you guys would give some of that back so we could get a phone system in the building.

[Brett Holmberg]

Yeah, that's the deal. You got to buy us a phone system. Can you help out 500,000, hook a brother up.

[John Holmer]

If I have to sell that rental house, I'll take whatever's left and I'll put a phone system in here.

[Donovan]

So even the phone guy with a universal phone hack phone.

[Brett Holmberg]

Maybe we should just go back to 2000, get a MagicJack. Because those seem to work.

[Donovan]

I mean that's a good call.

[John Holmer]

Look, I always say this. It was 1999 when Al Qaeda started planning 911 and cave with the early day cell phones. Those big blocks. Yeah. And they managed to pull that off. 20, 25. We don't have phones in our room.

[Donovan]

Let's just, let's get a cb.

[John Holmer]

Start talking to some cross country. Yeah, bigger one nine. Got a little Merc Madness on my hands. Go ahead, Merck. Man, this is what you got? Want a half a million dollars, huh? You know I do, son.

[Brett Holmberg]

This is Smokey Bear. I'm grabbing your ass right now.

[John Holmer]

Hey, you got a bubble gum machine behind you there, Smokey Bear. I'm telling yo ass. Then we just recreate all the smoke in the Bandit and forget why we're playing Merc Madden. All right, well, Merc Manias, I'm. I'm with you guys. It looks like I'm copping out, but I am not. I am making a double point here. That we haven't had working phones for a decade celebrating a 10 years of a faulty.

[Brett Holmberg]

How much these Mercury broads paying you jewbird?

[John Holmer]

All I'm trying to do is make fools of the Phoenix Mercury again. They're in the finals. And I will put. I put a house on the line that I can randomly dial anyone in this city and, and they won't answer my question. Simple question. Without the Internet, they can't do it it without. Without it at all. And I can't. I can't get the phones to work. It's glorious radio. If we could get any. But nobody hears.

[Donovan]

You know, it's gutsy radio, man.

[John Holmer]

It's gutsy brother. And it's basically we got U. Hauls packed behind the building. Just, you know, take it out. Don't. Don't fix anything. If it's broken, just throw it away. We're not putting new in all old. We could use a cell phone. But it. We, we Wouldn't get the dialing. You wouldn't hear it. It's just annoying. And now the phones are completely shut off for people calling in or going out, so. Well, we tried. We tried, everybody. Do you have Mike. Mike's number?

[Brett Holmberg]

Yeah.

[John Holmer]

Can you have him come up here and punch the phones? A few times I've tried it. My punch isn't working. My favorite thing is. And everybody deals with this, when you call the guys to fix stuff, they come up and just look at it and then say they'll do it. When there's nothing going on. Yeah, when we're not on the air and nothing happens. I'm not saying they aren't willing to do it. I think it's just a giant admission that they don't know how to fix this, so they just ignore it. You know, it's like going to the mechanic, oh, hey, this thing's not running at all. Okay, push it over here. I'll take a look at it. And like three months later, your car. Have you looked at it? You know, I get to that.

[Brett Holmberg]

Yeah, I see it.

[John Holmer]

I see it. It's right there. I can look at it. Are you gonna fix it?

[Donovan]

Sure.

[John Holmer]

How come I never see you working on it anyway? Well, there's Merc. It's a wildly disappointing.

[Brett Holmberg]

He's in a department meeting.

[John Holmer]

God. Remember wires? They were so awesome. Some. I loved wires. You plug it into a wall and then you plug it into the phone. And like, every time it was successful, it was every time very. The worst thing you could get is a busy signal. It's just more proof everything was working.

[Brett Holmberg]

A MagicJack. You can email [e-mail] and.

[John Holmer]

Well, I don't have that yet. I'm still an earthling. Anyway, I'll try again. We still have an hour to have. Maybe someone will come up here and stare at it. Can we get. Does anybody work at Best Buy in the Genius Bar? Can we get one of those guys up here or the Apple. Apple has Genius Bar, right? That's. Yeah, bring one of them over.

[Donovan]

Best Buys. Geek Squad.

[John Holmer]

Geek Squad. The Either. I'll take either. Roll on in here. We'll put you to work on whatever this is. I don't even know where this plugs in.

[Brett Holmberg]

I don't think they do either.

[John Holmer]

Nobody does, obviously. Well, Brady, no winners today. That means tomorrow the number grows $750,000. I have to sell that house for at least that. And it's. That's pushing it. That's going to take some time, but, yeah, we'll get it out there and then you guys can walk out of here. Maybe tell your friends.

[Donovan]

Call and just get a. Our own residential line in here.

[John Holmer]

Here.

[Donovan]

We don't want to.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, can we.

[Donovan]

Commercial. We just want a residential.

[John Holmer]

I'm going to set that up. Just a single. A single phone.

[Donovan]

Then we could tap it into the.

[John Holmer]

Just have a phone sitting here that works. That I can put. Yeah, that's not a bad idea. I just don't know who to call for that either.

[Brett Holmberg]

Trevor says. Simone Biles says. You're being a.

[John Holmer]

Shut up, Spinnies. Shut up, Trevor. Anyway. Trying. We'll try it again tomorrow. 750 grand online. We might get up to a million dollars by the end of the week if nobody fixes our phones. And I'm willing to do it. Quit.

[Brett Holmberg]

With these phones. It's going to be Powerball jackpots every.

[John Holmer]

Time this is over with. That's a good question for a billion dollars. And by then maybe somebody will know some answers. I got to do this before this Mercury team goes on TV again. Merc Madness.

[Donovan]

That's. We can add to it. You have to call us from a QT or a Circle K. Just like the lottery, you know, you buy the tickets.

[John Holmer]

Yeah. To call us from a pay phone. That's not a good idea because that's somebody I'd give a house to and I'm not. I don't want to do this. Give it extra. But I know a way to make it so it sounds good and I. No one will answer the question. It's a very unpopular sport. No one's gonna answer a thing.

[Donovan]

Ever.

[John Holmer]

All right. Well, there you go. Sorry, everybody. We're trying. It's not our fault. It's nine o'. Clock. We got ourselves some hot releases coming up in just moments. And maybe, just maybe, someone will come up here and fix these Merc Madness looms. I know it's 98. Arizona's most powerful rock radio. He said fully erect.

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