09-30-25 - Loved Seeing Early Halloween Decorations Washed Away By Monsoon Rant - Worried About Trump And Netanyahu Threatening To Annihilate Everything If Hamas Doesn't Agree To Peace

Summary

Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness (09-30-25)

Episode Title: Loved Seeing Early Halloween Decorations Washed Away By Monsoon Rant – Worried About Trump And Netanyahu Threatening To Annihilate Everything If Hamas Doesn't Agree To Peace
Date: September 30, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg, Billy Holmberg, Katie

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Overview

In this episode, John Holmberg and the crew mix observational humor and social commentary in their signature irreverent style. The episode bounces from delight in monsoon-ruined Halloween decorations to a darkly comic, but pointed, take on escalating geopolitical threats from Trump and Netanyahu towards Hamas. Through stream-of-consciousness rants, sarcastic suggestions, and banter, the team reflects on excesses in holiday decor, neighborhood quirks, advocacy for bacon-based diplomacy, and the absurd realities of global politics.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Rant: Early Halloween Decoration Mania and Monsoon Payback

[01:04–04:48]

• Holmberg’s Joy at Storm-Destroyed Halloween Decor

  • John recounts with glee how his neighbors’ over-the-top Halloween displays—giant skeletons, inflatable witches, elaborate arches—were demolished by a recent monsoon.
  • Quote: “I looked... and I giggled hysterically for about a mile because I know those people think we’re all looking at them going, ‘that is amazing.’ But really, behind their backs, we’re all like, ‘God, I can’t wait for their cruddy dirt Halloween hillbilly festival to end.’” (03:48, John Holmer)
  • Katie and John debate whether Halloween has surpassed Christmas for decorating excess; John says it hasn’t but decries how certain neighbors need attention.

• Calling Out 'Blight' and 'White Trash' Tendencies

  • John rails against “organized trash” and the deep-seated desire to fill front yards with “garbage.”
  • Quote: "If you keep doing it over and over, it's gonna make everything trashy. It's constant garbage...deep down, we're all white trash." (04:48, John Holmer)

• HOA Reflections

  • John grants a rare nod to Homeowners’ Associations, reminiscing about their past utility in keeping neighborhoods tidy post-holidays.
  • Quote: "The biggest reason HOAs existed was cars and Christmas lights. In March, they’d knock on the door and go, 'guy, knock it off.'" (05:26, John Holmer)

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2. Neighborhood Characters and Running Jokes

[06:43–09:41]

• Neighbor Stories: The Gays and the Plumbers
  • John jokes about his neighbors’ understated Christmas decorations but “rainbow festival” pride displays in June.
  • Running gag about Michael and Troy (neighbors): constant plumbing issues leading to a parade of new plumbers. Banter devolves into innuendo.
  • Quote: “Since they’ve lived there...maybe twice a week, they have a new plumbing company...What do you dudes doin’ to the pipes in there?” (07:01, John Holmer)

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3. On the Excess of Attention-Seeking Holidays

[09:53–10:33]

• John laments that Halloween, meant to be special, gets dragged out. Suggests one week of elaborate decor, max.
• Quote: “38 days of Halloween skeletons in your front yard is 36 days too many. Keep it special.” (09:07, John Holmer)

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4. The Serious Turn: Global Politics and the Threat of Annihilation

[10:34–12:57]

• Trump-Netanyahu "Peace" Plan and Threats
  • John shifts to global politics, alarmed by recent press conference rhetoric from Trump and Netanyahu threatening Gaza if Hamas won't accept peace terms.
  • Quote: “They said if they don't accept our peace plan...I'm gonna let him finish the job. It’s like you’ve got a dog on a chain and just raw meat.” (10:34, John Holmer)
  • Satirical voiceover: “If they don’t accept our terms of peace, we will chop them up into bits and stew them.” (11:19, John Holmer, mocking)

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5. The “Bacon Diplomacy” Satire

[12:04–18:31]

• Comedic Brainstorm: Alternative Warfare Tactics

  • John launches into extended riff: since Hamas members purportedly desire martyrdom, threatening them with things they hate (like bacon) would be more effective.
  • Suggestions include air-dropping honey-baked hams, spamming them with pork, sending in flamboyantly dressed people, and conducting “the gayest bacon festival of all time.”
  • Quote: “Bacon is the answer here. They hate bacon. They’re Old Testament people...The bacon and shrimp. If you chuck some crustaceans at them...Oh, they'd lose their minds.” (13:31, John Holmer)
  • Katie jumps in with, “Glizzy guns.” (15:06, Katie)—meaning hot dog cannons as the next escalation.

• Mock Radio Programming/Fake Peace Offensive

  • Jokes about sending drag queens, transvestite Jews, “Super Jew” Billy Crystal, and Kenny G to Gaza to drive “the enemy” insane or into surrender.

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6. Irony: "Peace" Through Violence

[16:21–17:28]

• John points out the contradiction in threatening total annihilation in the name of “peace.”
  • Quote: “All we want is peace, but if we don’t get it, I mean it’s going to be an explosion and a death count you can’t even imagine. Isn’t that right, Donald? That’s right, because we’re here as peace brokers. It’s horrifying.” (16:22, John Holmer)

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7. Self-Awareness, Satire and Contrast

[22:44–25:00]

• John acknowledges the upsetting nature of the global situation, adding layers of self-deprecating humor about over-simplifying the solution (“bacon is the answer to so many problems”), but points to the futility of repeating violent strategies for millennia.
• Quote: “When will we learn? This is a thousand years of trying one way and they still fight. They got on hang gliders and blew up. They love dying. Take away what they love. Shoot stuff they hate. Bibles. Just launching Bibles and pictures of Jesus.” (21:20, John Holmer)

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8. Wrapping Up / Wry Commentary on Radio and Holiday Excess

[27:54–30:49]

• Quick riff connecting “throwing pigs at the problem” (in war and in radio, i.e., poorly chosen midday hosts).
• Quote: “Let’s throw pigs at it—like we’ve done with radio for years. Who do we put in middays? Somebody goes, ‘Let’s just throw a pig in there.’” (28:36, John Holmer)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Halloween Decor Insanity:
  “It actually looks better now—it’s just trash in the front yard. Whereas before it was just organized trash in the front yard. Loved every second.” (02:12, John Holmer)

• On HOAs:
  “The biggest reason HOAs existed was cars and Christmas lights. In March, they’d knock on the door...‘guy’s gonna knock it off.’” (05:26, John Holmer)

• On Israel/Hamas Threats:
  “If they don’t accept our terms of peace, we will chop them up into bits and stew them. That’s right. And we’re going to walk away, leaving you with that." (11:19, John Holmer, satirical voice)

• On 'Bacon Attack' Strategy:
  “Just make it the gayest bacon festival of all time. And they will surrender. But they like dying. From everything I’ve read about Hamas, they love to die. That’s why they’re here." (13:33, John Holmer)

• On Contradictory Rhetoric:
  “All we want is peace, but if we don’t get it, I mean it’s going to be an explosion and a death count you can’t even imagine. Isn’t that right, Donald? That’s right, because we’re here as peace brokers. It’s horrifying.” (16:22, John Holmer)

• On Cyclical Futility of War:
  “It’s far away, so we can laugh, but that’s bad. I didn’t like hearing that. Come up with a new plan. They ain’t going anywhere. Just gonna make new ones. If you blow them all up, there’ll be new ones. In 20 years from now, we’ll be doing this again.” (33:05, John Holmer)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [01:04–04:48] Halloween decoration rant, monsoon aftermath
• [06:43–09:41] Neighborhood humor, gay neighbor/plumber bit
• [10:34–12:57] Transition to world politics: Trump/Netanyahu threats
• [12:57–18:31] ‘Bacon diplomacy’ satire, comedic solutions to Mideast conflict
• [16:21–17:28] Highlighting the irony in 'peace' threats
• [22:44–25:00] Reflecting on the futility of repeating cycles in war
• [27:54–30:49] Radio/pig metaphor, holiday excess, and closing banter

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Tone and Style

The hosts blend exasperated social commentary with offbeat, occasionally edgy humor and sarcasm. John Holmberg’s rants are both personal and political, moving fluidly between neighborhood gripes and absurdist takes on world affairs. Satirical exaggerations and irreverent role-play keep the show light even when tackling heavier issues.

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For listeners new and old, this episode captures the core essence of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness: biting wit, social satire, and an ability to find absurdity amid both local and global drama.

Transcript

[Billy Holmberg]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP guns.com your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[John Holmer]

It's John Holmer here from the morning sickness and it's time to talk again about my friends at Trajan Wealth. I always talk to you about the will and trust, the estate plan that I put together with Kent at Trajan Wealth. Kent was unbelievable. And man, you want to make sure medical power of attorney and power of attorney are established because if something bad happens and you don't have anybody speaking for you, somebody you don't know will keep control of your life. Even when you're not in control. All you have to do is get it done. Today at Trajan Wealth. 480-990-3300. Trajan wealth legal services are offered through trades in the State Law Firm LLC. Still streaming Homberg's Morning Sickness online at 98kupd.com well, thanks Miles to nowhere. That's Katie and the Hobbs here. Glorious Tuesday. It's beautiful. And I just dawned on it is the last day of September.

[Katie]

You gotta get your Halloween up.

[John Holmer]

Oh my God. I loved every second of this weekend. I've got neighbors who put this absolute catastrophe of a front yard. Look at us, pay attention to me thing those 30 foot skeletons and oh.

[Billy Holmberg]

Yeah, we got that.

[John Holmer]

They put these weird like wedding arches across their walkway in the front yard. Oh yeah, and hoops looks terrible. It just looks like blight. I believe that's the the only time I'd ever used the word blight because that's what I see. It doesn't look good. Your house looks like trash. And you started it in the middle of September and it last two garbage a little bit here and there. But let's calm down about September Halloween. So they got this storm wrecked, everything demolished. It was awesome. It was like I got up the next day, I got up the next day and I looked and I look ah. Laughing hysterically. There's giant 30 foot skeleton bones all over the road and this thing blew up.

[Katie]

Wow.

[John Holmer]

Their whole. I want my house to look like I haven't washed it in months. Cobweb collection that they'd put it was just everywhere.

[Katie]

See that skull with the beady eyes?

[John Holmer]

Yeah. I got one of those around an inflatable witch was just like dead on their roof and their house look. And you know what it actually looks better with now it's just trash in the front yard. Whereas before it was just organized trash in the front yard. Loved every second.

[Katie]

We probably got about Four houses that are. I noticed one of them neighbor across the street from me there. It's like Pinterest.

[John Holmer]

It's out of hand.

[Katie]

As the design on it. It's.

[John Holmer]

It's out of hand. It's like maybe a week or so.

[Katie]

It's probably. It's bigger than Christmas.

[John Holmer]

Oh, it's not bigger than Christmas. Some people go crazy. But it is like everybody does something for Christmas. Neighborhoods. No. You've got a few people that are just. It's just sad and pathetic that they're just. They have to have their neighbors pay attention to them that much for a month. You don't even put that up there. Like, there's a rule in Christmas not to go too crazy for too long. And it's the holiday season. It's Thanksgiving to New Year's. You get like, you have a month of stuff and reason to do. Halloween is weird. And it's just, you know, people who love it are spirit and Home Depot. Home Depot is just fleecing you for.

[Katie]

Too late now. It's already sold out.

[John Holmer]

If you're looking for your giant, it's ridiculous.

[Billy Holmberg]

I was at Lowe's yesterday and there's. They got the 30 foot skeleton and then they got Yukon, Cornelius and Rudolph.

[John Holmer]

Sitting ready to go. Yeah.

[Billy Holmberg]

I mean there's some stuff's out too.

[John Holmer]

It's great. But those 30 foot skeletons are no longer unique. And now there's like eight of them on everyone's street. Hilarious. And when the wind blows and those. When there's just bones everywhere. Oh, it's great. I want to go out as an. As an archeologist or something for Halloween and just dust those bones. They're laying all over everybody's front yard and they haven't cleaned it up because it's a pain in the ass to set up.

[Billy Holmberg]

Get you a fedora and a bowl.

[John Holmer]

Yeah. Just out there. Indiana Jones. And just start dustin for don't touch this. This is an archaeological site. But yeah, I looked. I've giggled hysterically for about a mile because I know those people think that we're all looking at them going, that is amazing. But really behind their backs, we're all like, God, I can't wait for their cruddy dirt Halloween hillbilly festival to end. It's too much. It's okay to decorate here because you're like, it's nice.

[Katie]

You're wanting to get out.

[John Holmer]

Yeah.

[Katie]

Too. That the summer's behind.

[John Holmer]

We're in the fall, but it's okay to decorate. Don't get me wrong. Yeah. But when you go crazy and it's September 18th and I gotta stare at cobwebs and dirt and, you know, a 30 foot skeleton, maybe sometimes standing, maybe sometimes laying across the street, it's, that's enough. Do it. Do it for a week or so. Even that's pushing it. You're fine.

[Billy Holmberg]

You gotta start that stuff early. As much stuff as these people are putting out, it's crazy.

[Katie]

October 1st, game on.

[John Holmer]

No, it's not. It's. You're just sheep who have eaten alive. The they sell you more stuff, you suck it all up. Pretty soon we're going to have inflatable moms for mother's Day and people will decorate their yards for everything. Deep down, deep down, we're all white trash. Deep down, we're all, we all want to, we all want to park things in our yard. Deep down, that's what it comes down to is just the white trash desire to have garbage in your front yard for a long period of time. We can't get enough of it. And really, truly, the only time it's special is Christmas. If you keep doing it over and over, it's gonna make everything trashy. It's constant garbage. Hoas used to be for this reason. The biggest reason hoas existed was cars and Christmas lights. In March, they'd knock on the door and go, guy's gonna knock it off. They were like the brave ones in the neighborhood that would tell you, hey, mow your grass. Get that. I don't know what, what is that? An old firebird without a hood. Get that out of your yard and then turn these lights off. Christmas ended three months ago.

[Katie]

Now you've got third and you've got 30 days to do this. I mean, a lot of times if.

[John Holmer]

There'S find them immediately on November 1st, if you're still rolling out the orange and purple lights and you look like your house is in hell, that's enough.

[Billy Holmberg]

You're anti HOA too.

[John Holmer]

Oh, that's the only time I'm kind of like. Because you just, you don't want to be, you know, a scrooge about Halloween. But six weeks of staring at that, it's awful. When you notice you're the only one on the road doing it. Knock it off and God forbid it sparks other. But that's what I do like about my neighborhood. I don't have a Jones's neighborhood. I don't have the one where somebody buys a new car. There's 15 new cars we look at. Like when somebody decides to step out, they're like, ugh. Don't draw attention to yourself, you weirdos. Christmas, we all do our thing. That's nice. Nobody goes nuts. It's respectful.

[Billy Holmberg]

The gays don't put up a big display in their front yard for Christmas. Yeah.

[John Holmer]

No, they haven't. They have very low key, subdued, beautiful decorations.

[Katie]

They go crazy.

[John Holmer]

Oh, yeah, June. It's just. It's like living at the beds. I feel like pots of gold will just start showing up. It's a rainbow festival.

[Billy Holmberg]

Dorothy and Toto for somewhere over the rainbow.

[John Holmer]

I can't stop making fun of my neighbors Michael and Troy, because I Since they've lived there and it's. I don't know. It's been like seven years now. Once a week, maybe twice a week, they have a new plumbing company, take a look at some stuff. And I always say. I always say that. I'm like, what are you guys doing to your plumbing that requires a. And I've. I didn't know until they moved in across the road that there are seven to 900 different plumbers in this city. It's never the same guy twice. I'm like, what do you do you dudes doing to the pipes in there? Like, how much?

[Katie]

Maybe they're waiting for that right plumber.

[John Holmer]

To be like, the pool boy, maybe. No, you're saying, let's try this company. They're grooming plumbers is what you're saying. They're going to grape one or they're.

[Katie]

Trying to have the same ass moment.

[John Holmer]

I don't think it's that far, but maybe. Maybe they're just looking for.

[Katie]

Let me see your monkey wrench.

[John Holmer]

Yeah. Oh, that maybe, perhaps they want to see his big fat monkey wrench. And I'm just here for the plumbing. It's in our bedroom. I was afraid of that. All right, you guys, stop flushing towels. Oh, sorry. What else are we gonna clean each other with? Not this. This is a beach towel, man.

[Katie]

Yeah, There's a boot.

[John Holmer]

There's a boot. Oh.

[Katie]

How did that get in there?

[John Holmer]

Handcuffs. A fez. Well, it got dirty after. God damn it. It was covered in poopy. Poopy goes in the toilet. You flush.

[Billy Holmberg]

That Astroglide is not good for the plumbing.

[John Holmer]

And then the. You'd think it would be the opposite, but it isn't. He's right. It eats the plumbing up. Mmm. How did that turn you on? I was telling you. Your pipes full of astro glide. Oh, stop it. And that's why there's a new plumber there every week. The plumber Leaves you call somebody else. I'm not coming back. Come back. No. It's a crazy house in there. Quit flushing your towels. I've told you guys this a million times. You cannot put bounty rolls in the toilet. But then you won't come back. Call someone else.

[Billy Holmberg]

Sup, Keyshawn?

[John Holmer]

He's back. Hey, I'm your plumber. What's going on? We flushed a towel. Yeah, there's notes about you from the other plumbers. I drew the short straw. Mmm. What did that turn you on? Anyway, but Halloween is. It's a fun holiday. And I fear it's being sucked dry by people who need attention so badly that I feel sorry for them. 38 days of Halloween skeletons in your front yard is 36 days too many. Keep it special. It's fun. The weekend before Halloween. Now this, it's on a Friday this year, so you get a whole week, put it up that Saturday before, and everybody's like, oh, this, it's here, it's Friday and it's great. But for a month I'm just like, sick of looking at the garbage.

[Katie]

Yeah, but if he spent two days putting up for just two days, it takes some weeks. I know.

[John Holmer]

Some of them are just. Yeah, well then scale it back a little bit. How about that? If it's taken more than a weekend to put up, that's a job. You're wasting your time.

[Katie]

My white trash setup is, you know, maybe an hour.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, that seems reasonable. That seems nice. But you don't litter your yard with cobwebs and PVC pipe of trash, do you? No. Yeah, you're not doing that.

[Katie]

But I don't. You know, again, it's, it's cool to see when you, you go around there.

[John Holmer]

Just get you that week. Season. That.

[Katie]

Yeah, yeah, for sure.

[John Holmer]

In September. It's not, it's just, oh, man, I gotta look at it for 33 days. That's crazy. Crazy. Calm it down a little bit. And also, we might not make it to Halloween. Yesterday I was, you know, just, you know, perusing the news and they had the Trump and Netanyahu talk. Do you guys catch that? And they were talking about, talking about blowing everything up. We'll take care. This is gonna end ugly. I don't know if they're serious about, like, we got Gaza on a 21 point plan. If they don't accept it, Benji, we'll do whatever it takes to blow them off the face of the planet. Any questions? We're not taking questions like, what just happened? One of them said if they don't accept our peace plan. I'm gonna let him finish the job. It's like you've got to dog on a chain and just raw meat, you know? If they don't want to listen, Hamas, it's over. That's exactly right, Mr. President. If they don't accept our terms of peace, we will chop them up into bits and stew them. That's right. And we're going to walk away, leaving you with that. And I'm like, that's not good. Holberg's morning sickness. 28k with PD.

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[John Holmer]

That's okay.

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[John Holmer]

Experian. Holmberg's morning sickness. So it's this or that. And you know, Hamas. I always worry about warning people who can't wait to go to heaven about like killing them. They love the idea of getting blown up. That's like the ultimate thing. I don't think telling them we'll blow you off the face of the planet is a good idea. I think. You know what we should do? Like make as much bacon as we can and just drop it on them. That would freak them out. They're not trying to kill us. They're hitting us with clovenhoven pork and just chuck pork at them. Pork bombs. Loads of hams. Things they hate women. Just to have women walking around like women bombs. Like fembots would drive them insane.

[Billy Holmberg]

Just dropping honey baked hams from B52s over gays.

[John Holmer]

Just have.

[Katie]

Just glaze them.

[John Holmer]

Gays glaze them? Yeah, put some. And it touched the ham. Oh, the glaze has touched the pig. And then they just start running. I liked it better when they were killing us. Just throw ham at them.

[Billy Holmberg]

Sending the twinks.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, we've got a pretty good plan here. And I'm not a big ham guy, by the way, as a Jew, but we're going to chuck bacon at them and we're going to let them live in seas of bacon. From the river to the sea of bacon. Get them.

[Katie]

The prisons are a bath house.

[John Holmer]

Yeah. Just make it. Make it the gayest bacon festival of all time. And they will surrender. But they like dying. From everything I've read about Hamas, they love to die. Like that's why they're here. The faster they do it, the quicker they serve Allah. The more you kill them, the better off they feel. Bacon is the answer here. They hate bacon. They're Old Testament people. They're like way back in the day, the bacon and shrimp. If you chuck some crustaceans at them and, oh, they'd lose their minds and just splatter them down with milk and say it's from a Covid thing, no.

[Katie]

Wonder they're so angry.

[John Holmer]

They're furious. They don't have any bacon. We've known this for years. And you know what? Maybe the piece will be one of them steps out of rank and bites down on some of the delicious crispy bacon we've shot at them. And it tells the others, like, guys, Muhammad was wrong. This is amazing. I want you to believe it's amazing. Don't eat the bacon. Smell it. I mean, if you drop bacon all over the Gaza Strip and then said, do you guys smell this? Like, this is the greatest. This could be every day if you wanted. Maybe we have been a little pushy. And then they might.

[Katie]

They'd be sleeping in, waking up to.

[John Holmer]

The smell of bacon that their wives, who are no longer dressed like beekeepers are making. You know, I don't want to make them love the west because they hate us, but bacon is the answer. And it isn't about making them love bacon.

[Katie]

Glizzy guns.

[John Holmer]

Look, it works. It works every direction. It works every direction. If they get hit by bacon, they start losing their minds. If they start eating the bacon, they're gonna start liking it. So either way, they're gonna. This is an assault. They did not expect bombs. They love those things. They attack. So you kill them. They're not attacking to win wars. When's the last time a Middle Eastern country other than Afghanistan won a war? They don't win them. They just antagonize you to kill them because they don't like it here.

[Katie]

We don't want to win. We want to continue on for hundreds of years.

[John Holmer]

Thousands and thousands of years, they've been picking at whoever will throw bombs at them so they can go meet Allah. Let's leave them here and hit them with some bacon grease. They'll lose their minds. But that press conference made me nervous. Trump was like, you know, a lot of I trying very hard. All I want is peace for an eternity. Wouldn't that be great? And I'm like, that would be great. That's a great sentence. Peace for an eternity. Wouldn't that be great? But if we don't have it, Benji. I'm gonna blow them to kingdom come, like in a day.

[Katie]

Just say the word.

[John Holmer]

Say the word. Tell me. I dare you, mother to say you don't want peace. It's so contradictory. We. All we want is peace, but if we don't get it, I mean, it's going to be an explosion and a death count you can't even imagine. Isn't that right, Donald? That's right. Because we're here as peace brokers. It's horrifying.

[Katie]

You want more info, go to BenjiBoom. Boom.com.

[John Holmer]

That'S right. Boom. Boom. Hey, by the way, that's the noise we'll hear. And it will be over if you don't accept peace. I'm watching that going. Do they hear themselves? We're dying for peace. Me and Bibi have been talking for days. Just love peace. Peace is the way. But if not wink and a nod, bye bye. It's scary and I'm not altogether against it, but I think there's a better way. And I think that way is ham. And we as Americans have a surplus of ham. We've got lots of food. Chuck it at them that way. You're also doing the humanitarian thing where they say we're starving them out. No, we're not. We're shooting bacon at them if they're not eating it. It's their own choice.

[Katie]

Spam Force.

[John Holmer]

Spam, actually. Would they eat that? They might eat that. I don't know if that's actual meat. I think there's pig in it. Okay. Drop them like that. Yep. Gays, Scantily clad blondes and bacon. We win this thing in a week.

[Billy Holmberg]

And Twinks.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, Tw the gays. I know I said gays already.

[Billy Holmberg]

Khalifa sent her over there too.

[John Holmer]

Or yes. Drag queens, gays, Scantily clad broads. And they're just coated in bacon. Just throwing it.

[Billy Holmberg]

Kiss doing a concert over there.

[John Holmer]

That'd be great. Oh, my God. Transvestite Jews singing rock. They surrender tomorrow. Hello, Gaza Strip. We are kiss. Of course, you already probably knew that.

[Katie]

And Lil Kiss.

[John Holmer]

I sound exactly like the Prime Minister of Israel. I am Gene Simmons of Kiss. I want to rock and roll all night and party. Gozzer Strip. Here's some bacon. Bacon from the guns. They keep shooting pork at us. We have no, we have no defenses.

[Billy Holmberg]

We can send disturbed in Dave Draymond.

[John Holmer]

Yeah. Jews everywhere. Ladies and gentlemen, a special message from Billy Crystal. How you doing? I'm a super Jew. How's everybody out there? Not the super Jews. No. Have you seen one? Harry Met Sally. I mean, come on. Not bad. Super Jews and bacon. Where do we sign the peace accord? You were supposed to kill us. What were you doing? That'd be a great leader. People would laugh. And then when you shot your bacon at them, be like, it worked. You know what else would work? They'd start rebuilding their country fast to keep us from doing it again. Coat them in bacon. Sorry, sorry. Oh, and bacon. I said everybody should listen to me. Gene Simmons is here, along with me. Bibi Netanyahu. Gene, say hello. Hello, Bibi. It's wonderful to be here. Occasionally, that's the way you tell us apart. I will a couple of chs finish them off with Kenny G. Oh, my God. That's like the. That's a 24 hours of all the Jew Clarinet Guy. What is going on? We are. They're supposed to kill us and let us meet Muhammad. Well, no. They're giving us bacon and juice. They don't want it anymore. And just on a loudspeaker. Good night, Gaza Strip. Kenny G. Put up a bunch of. They aren't shooting us. They're building gigantic speakers. What are they thinking? I was gonna put you to sleep tonight, Gus. Oh, it's BB Night. You're up all night with bb? That one got me. I don't know why.

[Katie]

BB nights.

[John Holmer]

BB nights. All the way from you incredible neighbors to the east. Here's some more. Kenny G. The Super Jew to put you to sleep there. Always remember that we want peace or the bacon and super Jew attack will continue. This is on a loop. Then it's going to get louder with more speakers. Please stop putting up speakers and return to shooting at us. We have laid down our arms and picked up Super Jews with talons. City Slickers 1 and 2 will be playing everywhere starting tomorrow with Super Drew, Billy Crystal. Don't forget Monsters, Inc. Yeah, we got to do that. Monsters, Inc. As well. Billy's in that. It's the voice of a super jewel. Will haunt you for years, Kenny. Bb up all night. Gaza Strip radio, kgza. It's a good idea. It's better than what we're doing. Because that thing yesterday, I was eating a. I had a Jersey Mike's turkey sub, and I put it down, I took a bite, and I'm like, what'd he just say? And I like, 30 seconds back, I'm like, that's what he said. I love the idea of peace. I love it. It's a great day for peace. I think peace is the way to go. Benjamin do you have anything? What if they don't accept it? You know, Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Bye bye Browntown. It's weird, but I think I'm right. Firing lackeys at them. Everything they hate. They love bombs. When will we learn? This is a thousand years of trying one way and they still fight. They got on hang gliders and blew up. They love dying. Take away what they love. Shoot stuff they hate. Bibles. Just launching Bibles and pictures of Jesus and just those Mormon blonde Jesus that would. That's got to drive them bananas. Drop some dreidels on dreidels and Jew toys and sales. Yeah, yep. All that stuff. Things from delicatessens. Bagel them, pickle them, bagel them.

[Billy Holmberg]

All that Mel Brooks film fest.

[John Holmer]

Oh my God. If you did enough of the Jew.

[Katie]

We'Re sending in Adam Sandler.

[John Holmer]

History of the world was pretty funny. Hello there, Hamas. I am Super Drew Adam Sandler and I'm a duper gpu. Peace Saturday. Meet Zohan. Excellent work there, Zohan. Excellent work. It's like Farm Aid, only it's just to piss them off and we'll lose some people. They're going to shoot Billy Crystal. I don't know what I did. They're going to kill you. Billy Holmberg's morning sickness. I was just trying for peace. Billy did his best, but he's a martyr now because they still shot at him. But we get him long enough and that's enough. But I don't like this whole hey, that. That starts making. I'm not a Palestine fan. I don't understand people who are. But you start to understand why they'd put their dukes up when people have like the most powerful nation in the world standing next to the one you hate. And they say if you don't listen to us, we're gonna blow you off the face of the planet. And they say it on tv. That's new. That's never been a thing before. I actually don't mind the strong Armin. But they like that. That's what they're shooting for. And the next thing you know they're gonna release videos of us blowing up schools because that's where they'll hang out. We're gonna have to. All their leaders are gonna go hang out with a bunch of 6 year olds and we're gonna launch bombs and blow them up. And they'll only show the pictures of the kids they blew up. Can't do it. Bacon. Bacon is the answer to so many problems this world has. Tell Me that if Pratt came over and said I wanted to. I want to talk. Buddy, let's have a chat. I'm like, no way. I brought bacon. Okay. All right. I'll hear you out for a minute. What do you got? Is it crispy? It's none of that fatty, weird double cut. Oh, the double cuts a little much for me. I prefer a real good crisp. That Ranch House Grill, they make some good bacon. It's perfectly crispy. It's not too thick. I don't want it to feel like beef jerky. I want it to be like. Like. Like a nice crunch. The whole room smells good. Double cuts too thick. Although it's good, I ain't complaining. I have a preference. It's like pizza. You order a pizza, I'll eat it. Yeah, I know. You calm down. This is a bad time for. You can't have it, you're not allowed to eat it, and we're just basically waving it in front of your nose.

[Katie]

Ronnie made some the other day.

[John Holmer]

That's mean. Oh, in the house?

[Katie]

Yeah.

[John Holmer]

She made bacon?

[Katie]

Yep.

[John Holmer]

And you were there? Did you have to leave?

[Katie]

No, I. I hung around. The smell.

[Billy Holmberg]

She's still walking.

[Katie]

Yeah, took the smell in.

[John Holmer]

Wait a minute. I just read a headline says valley DJ Assault's wife. How are you sure? Ah, she can't go making bait. I thought she was like, all super healthy.

[Katie]

It was in there. And it had to be either.

[John Holmer]

In what?

[Katie]

In the refrigerator.

[John Holmer]

Oh, we'll give it to the neighbors. Give it to a Muslim.

[Katie]

That's how strong I was. John, you can make it.

[John Holmer]

I'm strong. Well, that's good. Proud of you.

[Katie]

If he was snacking on it yesterday.

[John Holmer]

Then you had like a what, a tofu bar and a glass of hot water?

[Katie]

No, not quite that bad, but. No tofu.

[John Holmer]

Tofu's pretty good.

[Katie]

It's not bad. I've had it a couple of times.

[John Holmer]

Makes you gassy. But you're already gassy. Anyway, I have solved the world's problems once again. Will anyone ever listen to me? No. Or end up in a never ending war with these people who again, love dying so much they took the fun sport of paragliding and made it a weapon. They're crazy. They love. You're not getting out of that alive. If I paraglide over to Gilbert and try to fight a guy, I'm not leaving. You know hard it is to get a paraglider off the ground? Have you ever seen that?

[Katie]

I don't know how they. I mean, it's amazing what takes Forever.

[John Holmer]

Yeah. Yeah. You're easy. You're an easy target.

[Katie]

How many of them?

[John Holmer]

A ton of them. But then you land and you start a fist fight with somebody and you got to get out of there. It's.

[Katie]

It's.

[John Holmer]

You got to start a lawn mower. You got that? And then you get rolled down like a thousand foot thing, and you're barely off the ground, you know, like the Wright brothers, for Christ's sake. You're not getting out of there. They didn't plan on leaving. They just wanted everybody to kill them. They. They pick. They're passive aggressive. They. They hit you, and when you hit them back, they cry that you're, you know, trying to kill them. And then it doesn't help that the guy on TV goes, we're trying to kill them. We want to kill them dead. Like, all of them. All of them. Leave none behind. Unless they accept our peace treaty. That is contradictory. And I'm with them. Hopefully Hamas comes to their senses. But from what I've known, and I've been around for 53 years now, I'm not an expert on life, but one thing I do know is you tell the Middle east you want peace, they start blowing stuff up. They don't want it. They want to meet Allah. They love that dude, Muhammad and whoever else they can talk to. Barack, the horse that sends him back and forth to the sun. And I don't know what the hell that religion is, but I've read a little bit about this. Isn't that. And they ain't quitting on it.

[Katie]

Ted Nugent and the boy should hustle up some of those feral hogs in Texas and drop them over there because they populate like crazy.

[John Holmer]

Now, that's the nuke of the whole thing. If we just start throwing pigs at them, it's some type of hairy boar. Can we eat that? I don't think we can. That's not Allah. Why is he making us go through this? You'd get them to convert if God didn't protect them from pig attacks. Come on. Maybe that's the answer. And I know it's graphic and disgusting, but let's put bombs in pigs and then just let them walk around in Gaza. And when it explodes, they're more worried about the pig blood than they are the bomb. I don't know. Seems like a great plan for me, but it's weird. I don't understand. It seems like we could solve it a different way. You got to look at it from a new angle. Don't be like radio Executives quit doing the same thing over and over and expect different results. Let's throw pigs at it like we've done with radio for years. Just throw pigs at it like a midday. A midday radio show. That's been the philosophy of radio executives for years. Who do we put in middays? And somebody goes, let's just throw a pig in there. And that's what happens. That's usually what a midday girl is. Keeps peace front. But front butts live in the middays. Hey, everybody, I'm Front Butt, and I'm running the after the middays here, they got so bad, they put a man front putt at kslx. He's the sexiest midday girl in the air. Long Paul.

[Billy Holmberg]

Oh, we got Larry.

[John Holmer]

That's right. We have one, too. Larry used to be a front butt, but he got real thin. Yeah, Larry's the sec. Second sexiest midday girl on the air behind Long Paul. Long Paul is the traditional midday guy. Long hair, balding, a little bit overweight. Most of them try to have sex with you with their voice, and then when you meet them, you're like, mom bod. Whoa.

[Katie]

Say the least.

[John Holmer]

Who ate the girl that I listened to? Hey, thanks for coming out. I'm Front Butt. Oh, there's so many times that happened. You get those phone calls. That chick that's on the air before you hot. And they used to hate that. Valerie Knight used to get mad at me because I did afternoons and she did middays. And Valerie was not bad. Yeah. Is she really hot? This is before you could see everybody on the Internet over and over. And I'm like, if she was, she'd be on tv. I guess that's probably true, man. Valerie would be like, shut up. That's. Well, it's. How wrong am I? You don't see a lot of, like, smoke. Where's my Scope? She'd be on tv. At least her radio show would be on television. Yeah. Then she'd guzzle, like, half a bottle of Scope and leave. Smell good. But there was a reason. Yeah, throw pigs at it the old radio way. What do you got in the big board musical treats there? Brett, wake up.

[Billy Holmberg]

So I'm brought to you by Action Ride Shop, and we've been telling you, and I'm going to keep telling you, because now the weather is getting nice. It is time to get your asses back on the bikes and get in shape and hit the trails. Action Ride Shop's going to get you all dialed in, whether you got the old bike in the garage and needs A little bit of service or you need a brand new bike. Action ride shop is the place to be. They got all kinds of deals going on with the best wrenches in town and two locations, as a matter of fact, the brand new one right there on Power Road, McDowell right off the Haas trailhead and of course the OG right there on Gilbert road and Southern.

[John Holmer]

And it's going to be.

[Billy Holmberg]

It's going to start getting cold enough to where you're going to want to head up north and get the skiing and snowboarding in. So Action ride shop right there at Gilbert road. And so it's got everything for you. Actionrideshop.com hold on.

[John Holmer]

This is my problem with the general population. I'm all for blowing stuff up for, you know, the outcome, but it's not working. After all that talk. The suggestions for, they all said Brett always writes next to it. Why destroy everything? Trump and Israel, welcome to planet mother Effort. Trump and Israel killed by death. Trump and Israel, like, everybody's like, yeah, everybody just wants it to blow up. I do like March of the pigs, though.

[Billy Holmberg]

Who are you for the Merc Fever, too.

[John Holmer]

Well, that's true, too. The big question everyone's asking is who? When we see the Mercury in the finals, who are you as great by the. That's for merc, not merc fever. Merc mania. Oh, yeah. Because if it's merc fever, that could be the finals. One of the team's name is fever, and I don't know if Indianapolis plays the We've got fever fever. I. I don't know if that's a thing, but we got have Merc madness just in case they play the Fever. Fever. Fever. Fever is I've got fever fellow. Yeah, it's dumb. The whole league's dumb. All right, now you pick it, Brett. I like a lot of those.

[Billy Holmberg]

Yeah, I like. Welcome to planet Mother effort.

[John Holmer]

It's always good. Never a problem. All right, we'll go with that. And that's what we'll have. Brad, if they don't accept my very generous peace offer, I just want birds and children outside playing and singing all the time. But if I don't get it, goodbye, Browntown. Take your hats and your beekeeper wives and we're gonna push you right off the earth. It's over. You're gonna meet Allah and then you can thank me. And that's another thing I the middle easterners, they love me because I get to introduce them to Muhammad regularly. And that's what I'm going to do. That was the actual phrase. If they don't accept my peace deal, I give Benjamin Netanyahu and Israel permission to finish them off. That's bad. It's far away, so we can laugh. But that's bad. I didn't like hearing that. Come up with a new plan. They ain't going anywhere. Just gonna make new ones. If you blow them all up, there'll be new ones. In 20 years from now, we'll be doing this again. Do you have it? Or does he.

[Billy Holmberg]

He should. It should be in the system. I believe.

[John Holmer]

I don't know. I don't. It's not in front of me, if necessary. Now I have to. Welcome to planet. There it is. All right. I can do this. Blink. I got it. Good radio right there. Me doing some computer work. There you go. It's a zombie. And it's for you guys. Welcome to Planet Mother efforts 98, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect, 98.