10-01-25 - BR - WED - World Boat Speed Record Is More Than 300 MPH - World's Tallest Bridge Opens In China - Philly Cheese School Student Wins Cheese Prize Exciting Brady

Summary

Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – Arizona

Episode Summary: October 1, 2025

Main Theme:
A comedic romp through strange news, odd facts, audience banter, and offbeat viral videos. The crew (John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo) delivers their signature irreverence with a focus on world records, unusual news, and plenty of Arizona flavor. Topics include the water speed record, China’s new tallest bridge, cheese competitions, and the team’s trademark “Brady Report.”

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The All-Pro Shade Debate and “Scientific Accuracy”

• 00:00–04:37:
  • The episode kicks off with typical ad reads and local comedy plugs, followed by the daily "Brady Report."
  • Holmberg lampoons Brady’s endorsement of a sunshade company, obsessing over the “up to 95% UV rays blocked” claim.

    “Are you sure? Well, here’s the thing… we have to—they can’t block it for earth, but just where they set up your patio situation.” (Holmberg, 01:25)

  • “John Eaton” becomes a running gag as a hyper-literal listener fact-checking their science.

2. Fun (or Questionable) Facts in the Brady Report

• 04:37–08:14:
  • Brady reveals it's International Music Day, National Homemade Cookie Day, and World Vegetarian Day.

    “Yuck. Sorry, vegetarians.” (Holmberg, 04:51)

  • Movie trailer voiceover icon Don LaFontaine’s legacy.
  • Tetanus is not caused by rust, but by bacteria breeding on rusty metal.
• Water Speed Record
  • The world boat speed record stands at 318 mph, set in 1978, with a 54% fatality rate for those attempting to break it.

    “That’s insane. 300 miles an hour on a boat… That has to be so nerve wracking to hit anyway.” (Holmberg, 07:00)

  • Anecdotes about “jet boats” and whether they're genuine jets.

3. Tech Trends & American Weaknesses

• 08:14–10:15:
  • America is the top target for scammers owing to our love of convenience.

    “Convenience is king. We will forego all sorts of money for convenience.” (Holmberg, 08:40)

  • DoorDash and double-dashing expenses joked about.
  • Fortune magazine covers the “no shoes at work” tech trend—borrowed from Japan—to foster relaxation, but the group mocks dirty feet in offices.

4. Viral Stories and Listener Banter

• 10:15–14:33:
  • More playful jabs about jet engines, jet boats, and long-standing inside jokes about exaggerated facts.
  • A neighborly fight in which peacocks were killed after a feeding dispute leads to wild peacock stories.

    “I had a peacock fall out of a tree at my parents’ house. It’s the scariest thing I’ve ever dealt with in my life.” (Holmberg, 13:01)

  • Debate on whether peacocks can truly fly or just jump, with references to John Eaton’s endless corrections.

5. World’s Tallest Bridge Opens in China

• 14:33–17:20:
  • In Guizhou, China, the Huang Zheng Grand Canyon Bridge opens: more than 2,000 feet above the B Pan river.

    “Now the commute… was two hours, now it’s two minutes.” (Brady, 16:30)

  • Jokes about the Hoover Dam bridge, wind dangers, and why China took so long to build such a bridge.

6. Cheese Olympics: America Wins Big

• 17:20–20:28:
  • An American, Amelia de Obero, wins at the Cheesemonger Olympics in France—“a real place”—after training at the Philly Cheese School.

    “Is that a dream of yours? Blind cheese tasting?” (C, 17:57)
    “If he was offered blind cheese taster job, he’d move to Saudi Arabia for that.” (Holmberg, 17:59)

  • Mocking the notion of a cheese school, with playful stereotypes about men and cheese service.

    “No, he doesn’t… no. It’s half gone by the time it gets to you.” (Holmberg, 18:33)

7. Viral Video Segment: Shocks & Twists

• 21:20–30:31:
  • A series of wild, mostly NSFW videos described with shocked reactions:
    • Man with an enormous scrotum soliciting donations for “ball money.”

      “You could put a five year old on that… and I don’t recommend if you’ve got a huge ball bag to put a five year old on it. That wasn’t my recommendation, but yeah.” (Holmberg, 22:11)

    • Workout accidents, gory aftermath videos, and various unexpected viral twists.
    • “What happens next?” game: try to guess the disturbing plot twist in a viral clip.

      “Not a soul would have guessed that. That should be your new twist… I want to play dopey twists.” (Holmberg, 25:38)

8. Recurring Gags & Podcast Tone

• Heavy use of ribbing and teasing, especially at Brady’s expense and of the fictional/frequent e-mailer “John Eaton.”
• Blend of irreverent humor, dark comedy, and local references shape the show’s energetic and slightly chaotic tone.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On American convenience:
  • “We will forego all sorts of money for convenience. Door dash… the biggest scam going.” (Holmberg, 08:40)
• On the water speed record:
  • “Essentially… hit 300 and said, ‘that’ll do.’ There’s no reason. Don’t try to break this. This is a bad idea.” (Holmberg, 06:48)
• On cheese tasting as a dream job:
  • “Could you imagine before Brady decided to start dying right in front of us, if he was offered blind cheese taster job, he’d move to Saudi Arabia for that.” (Holmberg, 17:59)
• On viral video shockers:
  • “That is like an M. Night Shyamalan movie. I did not see that coming.” (Holmberg, 24:35)
  • “It’s a million dollars for somebody in the room to guess what happens next and get it right.” (Holmberg, 25:16)

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Important Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment | Notes | |-----------|------------------------------------------|-----------------------------------------------------| | 01:20 | Beginning of “Brady Report” | Sun shade debate; John Eaton running gag begins | | 06:19 | Water speed record | 318 mph, high fatality rate | | 08:14 | Top global scamming targets | Americans’ vulnerability and love of convenience | | 12:13 | Peacock neighbor fight | Story prompts wildlife anecdotes | | 14:57 | World’s tallest bridge in China | 2,000 ft high; commute time drastically reduced | | 17:20 | American wins cheese Olympics | Jokes about cheese school, blind tasting | | 21:20 | Viral video segment begins | Absurd and shocking internet clips | | 24:34 | “What happens next?” viral video twist | Popular guessing game for the crew |

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Final Overview

This episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness features a rapid-fire run through news oddities, local anecdotes, world records, and a heavy dose of NSFW humor centered around viral videos. The conversation meanders but always lands a punchline, with Holmberg and crew turning even the goofiest news into a launchpad for comedic mayhem. Recurring inside jokes (notably about John Eaton’s literalism and Brady’s lack of “scientific accuracy”) help create a familiar, clubby tone for returning listeners, while newcomers can dive right into the fun without missing a beat.

Transcript

[A]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com NFL Sunday's coming.

[B]

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[A]

Still streaming Homberg's morning s this online at 98-KUPD. Time for Brady to give you all that news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report is brought to you by and scientifically accurately brought to you by allprochade.com I know John Eaton's gonna hate this, but All Prochade claims they can block up to 95% of the sun's UV rays. Now that John Eaton. Are you sure? Well, here's the thing. We have to they can't block it for earth, but just where they set up your patio situation. So wherever their work is, it's got boundaries. I want to be scientifically accurate so John Eaton doesn't text in and get angry again. But when I say they can block up to 95% of the sun juvie rays, I'm not talking from the source. I'm saying where they place the shady awnings and stuff. You gotta be careful cause John Eaton will come off and go. I'm standing in the sun right now so 95% of the Rays aren't blocked here. I'm like oh, we didn't mean encompassing the entire planet. Just where they make the all pro shades. But when they do it, it blocks about 95 of those UV rays and those are the bad ones. Want to keep keep away from getting too much of that. Plus it makes a 20 degree drop. I'll have a thermometer ready for that. I'll tell you if it's 18 degrees, I'm coming back, do some research and.

[B]

Wait for this reversal in the cooler weather. Oh, shade down heats it up. And you have your fire or your heater under there.

[A]

Keeps it warmer. Are you sure John Eaton wants to know?

[B]

I, I, yeah, I can.

[A]

Is it scientifically proven that you attesting to something is akin to me peeing in a mouth? Nothing. Why don't you just in a bowl and call it breakfast? Brady, you don't know what you're talking about.

[B]

According to my thermometer, in the winter.

[A]

Nobody's listening to your thermometer.

[B]

Patio. 90 degrees warmer than.

[A]

Yeah, that's just. There's science. That's science. Brady's thermometer. He got over at the Walgreens because it was the cheapest one.

[B]

It's a twofer.

[A]

Hey, get a twofer for thermometers, you got yourself a good deal. One in your ass, one on the wall. It's pretty good stuff. Yours, Brady. Actually, his thermometer outside is one for temperature taking for humans. But take it off the wall works up to 106. Yeah, plenty good. After 106 who cares what the actual temperature is? John Eaton does all pro shade. They can do all sorts of stuff, but they're not bringing Neil Degrasse Tyson to your house. So. John Eaton. I'm sorry, you should probably just avoid ever calling them everyone else without a stick up their ass. For God's sakes. All Prochay.com that's where you go to make your whole life better. John Eaton has since text back, right? Yeah. And he's like what did he say? He said something about he liked the Brady Report. Yeah. Even though it's not scientifically, it's the least scientifically accurate thing on the planet. Where is it? I think I don't like it's least scientific than religion or you know, astrology.

[B]

We dabble in that sometimes.

[A]

What?

[B]

Astrology.

[A]

You do the Brady Report. Oh yeah. Oh yeah, sure. I mean you dabble in all sorts of stuff that can't be proven. But John Eaton can. John Eaton will prove it. I'll prove you wrong, mister.

[B]

Anyway, Brady reported Good Wednesday Morning to you, Phoenix.

[A]

Hello, world.

[B]

Happy International Music Day. National Homemade Cookie Day. World Vegetarian Day.

[A]

Yuck. Sorry, vegetarians.

[B]

They're just doing it wrong couple of basis fun facts. The voiceovers and movie trailers became rare in 2008 because the guy that did more than 5,000 of them, Don La.

[A]

Fontaine, he died in a world. That guy was hired. Pablo. Pablo did it better than Don. Did you ever see him at Don's house? No. Pablo went over to Don La Fontaine's house and they goofed around together and it was pretty hilarious. But Don LaFontaine was different and he.

[B]

Was blown away at the studio, the house.

[A]

It was incredible. Well, I mean, blown away is like. There's a lot of blow involved with that. Magnified it in a world and it was like wow. And la font. You ever watched the old trailers in the 70s and stuff? They're horrible. Don LaFontaine changed everything. By the way, this is the email from John Eaton. Says, actually the Brady Report is the best part of the show. You're clowning on him. Kills my side every time. Thanks for the reply. My face hurts from smiling so much. Blow my name. John Eaton. Well, thanks for being. See, the stick came out. Now he's fun again. We'll get him.

[B]

Tetanus isn't caused by the rust on rusty nails. The rust is just a perfect breeding ground for the bacteria that causes tetanus.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

The current water speed record is 318 miles per hour.

[A]

How fast water goes or someone on it.

[B]

A guy in a boat, Australian guy set the record in his boat in 1978. Since then, the two official attempts to break.

[A]

Yeah, there's no reason for that.

[B]

Resulted in people dying.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

In fact, since 1930.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

People trying to set or break the record have a 54% chance of fatality rate.

[A]

Essentially. They hit 300 and said, that'll do. There's no reason. Don't try to break. This is a bad idea. It's like.

[B]

But I got a 50% chance at.

[A]

It's 330 miles an hour. I'm sure the water becomes like concrete. So that's essentially like driving a drag car without wheels. It's probably going to bust up. That's insane. 300 miles an hour on a boat. That has to be so nerve wracking to hit anyway. Like it's so unpredictable to just hit a little chopper. You feel that when you're going 60 in a boat. I don't like it.

[B]

Oh, I got into a jet boat one time when I was in ninth grade Cumberland Lake in Kentucky in the sky. 454 big block Chevy engine. Probably 80 miles per hour.

[A]

No. Well, that's not a jet boat.

[B]

They called them jet boats.

[A]

Well, it'd be a jet engine, wouldn't it?

[B]

No, I think they're jet engineering boats because it's the way it's propelled.

[A]

Sorry. John Eaton, how dare you. I thought jet boats actually had like jet engines. That one over at the when they used to do jet drags, was an actual airplane engine attached to the back of that car and it would make that noise. I don't know how fast those things got going. But there was a limit to that too.

[B]

A new poll found Americans are the number one target for scammers usa.

[A]

Oh, they. Well, because Russia and China knows that we love convenience and easy stuff. And so the faster we take away you having to work for anything, the quicker they're going to get your money and being complimented.

[C]

Just compliment somebody and the average person.

[B]

In the US deals with 25 iffy messages a week. 3 or 4 per day.

[A]

Convenience is king. We will forego all sorts of money for convenience. A door dash, which I absolutely love. Biggest scam going. They charge you a few extra bucks, make you tip a guy to do it. Next thing you know you're paying double. But you didn't have to move. And they'll pick up groceries on the way with your Taco Bell. What? I can double dash there. The double dash was like $180 for me to have a turkey sandwich and some like a case of water.

[C]

Stop at CVS for some plan B.

[A]

What the hell? Are you okay?

[B]

He's double dashed.

[A]

You don't ask them for plan B. And a couple chicken soft tacos.

[B]

I need some duct tape, machete, zip ties.

[A]

What are those plastic barrels that Walter White used to melt people. And I need one of those where the acid doesn't burn the plastic.

[B]

Fortune magazine just did a big story on the trend in the business world is no shoes at work, no shoes allowed. So they take the shoes off when they walk in. They're barefoot. You can wear slippers. Slides.

[A]

Japan.

[B]

I was gonna say it's to avoid vacuuming. The idea is to make the office feel more relaxed and collaborative. Makes people less anxious.

[A]

People's dirty ass feet walking around. Take your shoes all day.

[B]

Tech companies in Silicon Valley have apparently been doing it for years.

[A]

Silicone Valley is where they make the breasts. Brady.

[B]

Great place.

[C]

This will get John Eaton going. Oh, I remember the jet engines at the submarine races on Tim.

[A]

Oh yeah. I Had those submarine races. Surprised the Bob's didn't. Bobs weren't involved back then. We'd do stuff and people that was just all completely goofing on people.

[C]

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[A]

53342 Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

[C]

Chuck was just happy that we still got the ads in.

[A]

Well, no, he didn't like that nobody was mad at the submarine race.

[B]

Can I get a couple of tickets?

[A]

Yeah, like submarine races. When we were giving away tickets to that, Bob's didn't get involved. And what? Well, now we're going to have to buy a submarine and actually have some races. Like, no, Nobody wins. Like you don't understand. Like we. I knew no one would get my question right. You didn't know for certain. Oh, for Christ's sake.

[B]

There's a fight that happened between neighbors involving a guy's peacocks. The lady that lived next door to him would go over there and feed the peacocks. And that upset him so much that it's like, stop feeding the peacocks, else I'm gonna kill him. So he killed two of them in front of her. Yeah. So he slaughtered two of them and ate him. But he did the whole. Cut the neck off.

[A]

And sure, those beautiful animals need to die if you're feeding them, dicking around, feeding them. You make them fat. They're useless to him. I told you that time I had a peacock fall out of a tree at my parents house. It's the scariest thing I've ever dealt with in my life. And it was on the heels of me saying the phrase I just need a sign to know that I'm doing the right thing. Because I was trying to. I was trying to like get the attention of a girl and I'm like, did I just blow this? And I need some sort of sign that I'm doing the right thing. And then I just started to hear falling down this giant tree. It's a eucalyptus tree in my parents back. And then in the ground there's a peacock. And I'm standing like from me to you, looking out a window though. And I'm like, is that a peacock? And the thing just started running around the backyard. Why did you have a peacock in? Your neighbors evidently had a peacock down the road and it got loose and I don't know how it got up in this tree, but it just kept bouncing up the tree like it was looking for safety from something. And it was up there about 20ft and it hit every branch on the way down and landed on its feet. Looked at me in the window. I looked at it and I'm like, I'm in a dream. And it didn't simulate. It didn't flare. It did later, but it didn't right off the bat. And it just started to run around the backyard like, where am I? Where the fm. I didn't know peacocks could climb. Evidently they're good climbers because he got way up there. They can jump. Can they fly? A little bit, yeah. And that's what he was doing because it was like he was jumping, but I don't know if he.

[C]

Like chickens? I thought they couldn't fly.

[B]

Well, they can get up on top.

[A]

Of a barn roof 20ft into that tree. He was up there, so. And then. Yeah. And then we had to figure out how to get him out. Well, actually the best part about that story is he bounced into the other neighbor's yard and became their problem. I was going to try to help, but what am I? I'm not a peacock wrangler. John Eaton is. He knows the scientific balance on that, but I don't.

[C]

We have a text on that.

[A]

Oh yeah.

[C]

John, you obviously believe then that jet skis are named for the jet engines that they have too, huh? Signed John Eaton's brother.

[A]

That's from Lonnie Eaton. I never really thought of that, but I guess I probably would have if you'd have told me and I hadn't seen one. What do they made it like jet skis. They have jets on them.

[C]

I think it's because they have turbine engines.

[A]

I don't care.

[B]

The world's tallest bridge located in the Guizhou province in southern China, officially opened on Sunday. It's the Huang Zheng Grand Canyon bridge. It's over 2,000ft tall. 20, 50ft, and it goes over the B Pan river. The commute was two hours.

[A]

Wait, the bridge is 2,000ft tall? Oh, it's a. It's raised above the ground. 2000? Yeah. I thought you said it was a 2000 foot high bridge.

[B]

There's a picture. You can pull up a better. How.

[C]

How tall is that one at the Hoover Dam? The new one that they built that Megan won't go?

[A]

Not even close. Yeah, we flew over it. She was nervous about it. I'm never going on that. Look how high it is. Like you're in a plane top of that. You don't even know you're on it. Because it's guarded. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

So now the commute.

[A]

I like to tease, though. I will never drive to Vegas again unless like, like the apocalypse is happening. But that last time, I'm like, oh, boy. Because they had signs up that said wind wouldn't let big trucks go over the bridge. If the wind's going a certain thing.

[C]

And you were following one.

[A]

I was right behind a big truck. I'm like, oh, it's going over. Oh, stop. Stop it. You know, why would we even get on this thing? I don't know. But that wind's gonna push him right off, and then it'll create some sort of weird vortex and sweep us in if I'm too close. So I was right up the ass of that truck. I was. I was drifting off of him, trying to save gas. But now it's. Now it's gonna work against us. You're gonna get us killed by the wind. If we're lucky.

[B]

Before the bridge open, the commute time to get across the canyon was two hours.

[A]

Good Lord.

[B]

Now it's two minutes.

[A]

Oh, how did they used to do it? Rope bridge.

[B]

You traverse your way down.

[A]

They built that wall and they even put a bridge up over that thing for all of it.

[C]

3,000 years.

[A]

Jesus Christ. China, get on the ball. The most impressive structure ever built. You won't put a bridge over a Jordans or what. Good point you make strong. I got to keep. They don't make them anymore. But just in case you don't live There. So don't worry about if I want to get to the other side. What if my Jordans are over there? It's going to take me months to get over to that other side. Build a bridge. China. Come on.

[B]

This is pretty amazing. American just won the biggest cheese competition in the world. Amelia de Obero is a cheese expert who studied at the Philly Cheese School. Real place.

[A]

Okay. Jesus Christ. Yeah.

[B]

Legit.

[A]

Nobody was. Nope. We assume that you're gonna know that stuff.

[B]

She competed at the Cheesemonger Olympics in France last month. It included a written test, blind cheese tasting and cheese sculpting event.

[C]

Is that a dream of years? Blind cheese tasting.

[A]

Oh, could you imagine before Brady decided to start dying right in front of us, if he was offered blind cheese taster job, he'd moved to Saudi Arabia. For that. I get to taste devil's cheese over there.

[B]

In Saudi Arabia.

[A]

They just one rule. I gotta be a Muslim. Are they paying you?

[B]

Not money in cheese. And wheels.

[A]

Wheels of cheese. I'll be fine. The Philly Cheese School offer classes.

[B]

She's the first American to win.

[A]

Enjoys cheese. Wow.

[C]

Pretty sure Brady knows how to serve cheese.

[A]

No, he doesn't.

[C]

No.

[A]

It's half gone by the time it gets to you. There's how to serve it to himself. Oh, it's a Brady school cheese to meet you. Oh, God. They even say cheese thing.

[B]

How much do they take?

[A]

Trade. I'll swap out some sauce to get into that program. Look at the pig eating the cheese, Nick. That's their model.

[B]

Get cheesy with me.

[A]

Even took. They even took her and put makeup on it and did its hair and acted like we were going to be impressed. 90 bucks per guest for cheese basics.

[C]

90 bucks a crack.

[A]

Yeah. I love cheese, but I'm not. I don't need a school for it.

[B]

It's more online.

[A]

More online is we can get you a gift card for your birthday. Yeah, it's coming up February, but we'll send Brady to Philly.

[B]

A week in Philly.

[A]

Come up here, have some cheese. Get some water up there and some cheese. Get over there. Wit. Wit. That's what you want. The wit. Wit. You got to get a wit wit.

[B]

Put a blindfold on me.

[A]

Oh, my God. We'll go over to Cherry Hill and get ourselves a wit. Wit over genius. Is your accent getting more muddled? Yeah, it gets real tough right here. Talking like, yeah, you can fly. You can fly.

[B]

I got a couple cheese and feelings.

[A]

Oh, they sell shirts about the cheese.

[C]

Oh, I'm getting you the handbag oh, my.

[A]

Yeah. And you know, it only holds one thing.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Wheelchair, Loads of cheese.

[B]

What happened?

[A]

That is just a full of cheese and feelings as a shirt there.

[B]

Female right there.

[A]

What are you talking about?

[B]

There's no. It's not appealing to a man.

[A]

Why would a man wear a shirt that says full man going to a cheese? Why would a man wear a shirt that says full of cheese and feelings? There you go. Here's a man shirt.

[B]

This school's not.

[A]

Yeah, because it's a chick thing, Brady. To want to learn to serve cheese to people. You put it on a thing and you put it down. If nobody likes it.

[B]

Producing champions right now. Cold metal.

[A]

I've never once gone to someone's house and said, I didn't have much fun. But the cheese service was impeccable then.

[B]

If you're a guy, you're going there with nothing but Philly.

[A]

You think Tripp went to the cheese school before he brought over. Is this good? And then the guy at whole Foods goes, I don't know. You gotta eat it to know. I'll take two.

[C]

And then he brings it to you guys and you tell.

[A]

Yeah, and then we tell him. And we have.

[C]

That one was good.

[A]

It's a test. And some of them don't get eaten sickness. Holmberg's morning sickness. Is he full of cheese first radio video.

[C]

He is full of cheese.

[A]

I am filled with cheese and emotion. I'm so lonely Matter Tripp? I don't know. It's the emotions. I get it. When I have a bag o Cheese first videos.

[B]

I call the big balla.

[A]

All right, there's a guy on. Oh, my God. That's his ball sack. I thought it was his other leg. Whoa. Oh, it looks like a boulder. And it's got, like, road rash. You'll hurt your foot. What is that? About three feet, maybe two and a half feet from nuts to ground? I don't know.

[C]

He's got a 32 inch inseam and it's 31 of it.

[A]

Yeah. And then. Yeah.

[B]

Iron balls Patel.

[A]

It is a. That is a beanbag. He's got his legs spread open like he's doing the splits. You could put a five year old on that and he wouldn't touch both ends. And I don't recommend if you've got a huge ball bag to put a five year old on it. That wasn't my recommendation, but yeah.

[C]

Well, if you're curious, he does have his banking information if you'd like to join.

[A]

All that bad. He keeps, like, patting it Down.

[B]

He needs ball money.

[A]

For what? He's not putting any lotion on it, and he doesn't look to be interested in getting rid of it.

[C]

Says the translation. Says, please share video, brothers, won't you share, Brothers, won't you share 1.5 lakhs of help, brothers? Many, many, many thanks to all of you, brothers.

[A]

You know how much gold bond it takes to cover that sack? I mean, that's why he's got. Yeah. And you got a hire guy to do the back. Oh, yeah. He's not reaching all of that. That's pretty close to how I am, though. I got. I'm not gonna lie.

[B]

Next one's a workout video.

[C]

Half year inseam.

[A]

I think if I live another 12 years, it'll be that far down. Wow. You're gonna wear MC Hammer pants and stuff? Because that sack's hanging that lower. No, I'm gonna do like that guy did. Just walk around with it, make people uncomfortable. I'm just. It's gonna be out dragging on the sidewalk, and you have your own cart. Calloused. Oh, turns out weird Purple, black. It's been outside too long. I don't think it was meant for the sun.

[B]

Next one's a workout video. The guy's on the crossbar trying to do the, like, atomic sit up. Curling up.

[A]

Oh, he's got his legs across the top. So he's hanging upside down. Yeah. And he's trying to do a sit up. He's in good shape. Oh, he fell off the bar and he landed directly on the back of his head. Not ready for the. For the. Oh, yeah. The calves gave loose on the bar and just slid him right off. Well, he just. I think he might be too moist. Should have towed down. He slides off of it. Oh, my God. Anybody landing on their head doing something is bad.

[B]

Last one's for Brett.

[A]

All right. What the Brady. Oh, God. All right, I'll explain this to the people. You son of a. So it wasn't a waste of time. That was a good twist. That was. That was a.

[B]

You should.

[A]

That is.

[B]

That's good.

[A]

That is like an M. Night Shyamalan movie. I did not see that coming. So it's a big bulldozer or something, dropping a bunch of. A bunch of boulders into some quarry water. And right before the thing hits the water, it cuts to some unibrowed Indian with a big old snot rocket hanging out of his nose, and he grabs it with hand and he eats it. And then he opens his mouth, and there isn't A tooth to be found.

[B]

All clean.

[A]

Let's see it once again. Now that we all know. Oh, God. What happened when you dropped 7,000kg in water? Oh, man. Why does that happen? Man, that got me. Damn you. It's the last thing I expected. You know what we should do with that one? That should have been a. What happens next? Always remember that, Richard. What happens? Pause it right before the twist, and then see if we can guess it. If you've got any of those today, do a pause for what happens next. That's a fun game because the last thing you'd have guessed is Pakistani boy eating his own snot. The last thing.

[B]

There's a couple of those.

[A]

Not a soul would have guessed that. That should be your new twist because you have so many of those. I want to play dopey twists. Well, you catch crap because so many of them are dumb. But if we played the game. What happens next? And I say, okay, a Pakistani boy eats a muffin with his ass. And I'm like, it's a. I don't. I know I'm going to get in trouble for this, because it's not for the people. It's a million dollars for somebody in the room to guess what happens next and get it right. Especially if, I mean, had you said, hey, Brett, what do you think happens next? I don't know. So I don't know. Middle Eastern kid, poor, no teeth, blow snot into his hand and then eats it. Oh, my God. You got that from that rock quarry drop and taking a shot.

[B]

Two arms up a guy's butt.

[A]

I think we're going to go elbows. Pretty common one. Yeah, but not if you're watching a bulldozer not, you know, Carrera Marvel into.

[B]

Water that starts with jumps. Bikes jumping.

[A]

Yeah. I think what's gonna happen next is that guy's right about. His bike's about to land that jump. Two midgets are gonna crawl inside of a bear through its anus.

[B]

Specific.

[A]

And then, like, birth itself back and in the rosebud of the bear is happening. All right, let's see if Brett's right. All right, Brett, what do you got? Start off a little aftermath from an accident. All right. Oh. Oh, geez. It's a girl in the middle of a street. She's been hit by something in her. Her hips. Oh, geez. They're just dragging her off the road like a deer that got hit by a car. Oh, we're sure she's gone? Yeah.

[B]

That's to allow traffic to continue.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah. You don't want to screw up commerce. Oh, my God. And some reason, totally nude now. Wow. Her leg is just gone. Her head's. She got hit by something hard. Why are you getting so close with the camera? Oh, my goodness. Wow. Look both ways. We didn't see the accident, but that lady was a mess in there. And their local coroner is not exactly. It's got the Hefty bag out, you know. Careful. Yeah.

[B]

Nope.

[A]

Just gotta get. She's gone. Drag her across. Here's some chomo justice. Okay. Oh, this is one of those countries that handles their crimes a little differently. So they just got. Oh, my God. He's got a guy in the middle of the town square, and then a Toyota runs him over, whipping them. Oh, they're dragging him back for another Toyota run.

[C]

Oh, man.

[A]

I don't think that's what Tacomas are for. But turns out it's yet another thing.

[C]

Paddle. Add that to his next ad.

[A]

We took our truck to Djibouti this year. He and Max are out there drone filming him driving around. We ran into a local legal dispute. Okay, next. Oh, it's an older woman, naked, squatting over a camera. Her RV sandwich is showing between her legs. She's well shorn. That's it. Brett, that was just to look at an old lady's muff. If I had to look at somebody eating boogers, you know you're gonna look a 90 year old.

[B]

You could have.

[A]

She had huge fake cans, too, but that was an old woman's vagina, and those should be illegal. Here's one we've never seen before. A suitcase. Is this what comes next? Pause it. Pause it right before. What comes next? Now we're looking at a suitcase with lots of pouches, four wheels. It looks like a nice suitcase. Brady, what do you think happens next? Have you seen this? Don't lie.

[B]

No, I haven't seen it, but I'm going based upon the luggage. I'm going with some guy in a gimp mask.

[A]

Okay. There's a lot of zippers involved. Rich, do you have an answer for what happens next?

[C]

Somebody's taken one of those wheels or all of them.

[A]

You think somebody's gonna have a suitcase shoved up their ass?

[C]

Some? Yeah. Either a one wheel or multiple.

[A]

I think it's a packing reference. And this suitcase is good for, like, getting all the stuff into a small package. So I think it's gonna be a midget with about seven or eight arms in its ass. Yeah, it's gonna be stuffing a midget full. All right, here we go a time when you're ready to get the upgrade Travel pro. No, it's a girl in the suitcase.

[C]

Does she have arms and legs?

[A]

They just cut a hole in the top of a suitcase. They call it a slut case. Yeah, you never guess that one. She's stuffed in the suitcase and her head's hanging out of the top and the guy is just abusing her head with body parts. Thank you, sir. Yeah, that's pretty music. I didn't. I didn't think the suitcase was actually going to get used, but. And we'll just end with a little knife play. Okay. Oh my God. Oh, my God. That's a knife inside a lady's. Oh, my dear God. Stop it. Oh, he's banging her with a knife.

[B]

Is it.

[A]

It's not cutting though. Thank God. It's dull or plastic, but it's horrifying to see. Stop it. Make it stop.

[B]

Even if it is a plastic blade.

[A]

Still. Oh my God. You don't do that well in there. All these TikTok challenges are completely out of hand. Holy smokes, man. Thank you, Brad. Thank you, Brady Snot boy had my. That's that today. That wins the day as the least expected thing I was going to see. Some of it looked like aerial America going over Italy. This is where they make Carrera stone. It's the only place. And then all of a sudden there's Afghani Abbottabad boy just chugging his own snot. That's gross. There you go, everybody. That is your Brady report. Scientifically accurate as ever. It's 98 Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect.

[D]

You know how everything's a subscription now. Music, movies, even socks.

[A]

I swear if it to continue this ad, please upgrade to premium plus platinum.

[D]

Uh, what? No. Anyway, Blue Apron, this is a pay per listen ad.

[A]

Please confirm your billing.

[D]

Oh, that's annoying. At least with the new Blue Apron, there's no subscription needed. Get delicious meals delivered without the weekly plan.

[A]

Wait, no subscription?

[D]

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