10-01-25 - The Bobs Called John Yesterday About Merc Mania - Listener John Eaton Can't Take Jokes And Yells At John To Do Nuclear Research - David Cross' Comments On Riyadh Comedy Fest Are Making A Lot Of Sense

Summary

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Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – October 1, 2025

Episode Title: The Bobs Called John Yesterday About Merc Mania - Listener John Eaton Can't Take Jokes And Yells At John To Do Nuclear Research - David Cross' Comments On Riyadh Comedy Fest Are Making A Lot Of Sense
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Podcast: 98KUPD – Arizona

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Episode Overview

This episode is a classic blend of irreverent humor, inside radio drama, and no-holds-barred commentary on current events. Holmberg unpacks frustrations with literal-minded listeners, details a brush-up with station management over spontaneous contests, and—after a solid roast of fact-checkers—dives into a heated discussion about the ethics of comedians taking gigs in places with questionable human rights records, such as the recent Riyadh Comedy Fest. All of this, sprawled over snappy one-liners and a stream of playful banter with Brady and Bret, keeps the tone sharp and satirical.

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Key Discussion Topics & Insights

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1. Listener Feedback & The Trouble with Literalists

(01:24–07:49)

• Listener John Eaton’s Complaint:
  John discusses a critical listener, John Eaton, who complained about the scientific inaccuracy regarding nuclear bombs and fusion/fission comments on the previous show.
  • "It's nuclear fission, not fusion. We've detonated quite a few nukes in space. Do one second of research, please." – Quoted by John, imitating Eaton (01:51)
  • John responds by emphasizing that his absurd comments are intentional and part of the comedic performance.
• Meta-Comedy & Satirical Stance:
  John laments having to break the fourth wall for listeners like Eaton who demand factual rigor in absurdist comedy:
  • "Do you watch cartoons with kids and go, what? The rabbit's talking? Do some goddamn research. Rabbits can't talk." – John Holmberg (02:37)
  • The crew riffs on how serious listeners can't enjoy the joke if it isn't literally possible, dragging in familiar cartoons as examples.
• Practical Joke Explanation:
  John elaborates on the necessity of explaining a joke:
  • "It's a joke. Like, you can't run a bass boat all the way to Saudi Arabia. We know, but that's the absurd." – John Holmberg (04:36)

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2. Merc Mania, Radio Executives, and Generous Bets Gone Awry

(07:49–12:53)

• The $500,000 Bet:
  John recounts offering $500,000 of his own money to listeners and being chastised by station execs ("the Bobs") for running an unofficial contest:
  • "I got a message from one of the Bobs that says that I'm not allowed to give my own money away. And I kind of think he sort of threatened to sue me." – John Holmberg (09:02)
  • The execs feared liability, not realizing it was John’s own money; this becomes fertile ground for more office satire.
• Radio’s Changing Guard:
  John pokes fun at radio execs’ creative averse tendencies:
  • "We don't know what good radio is. We're radio executives. It's the last thing we know about." – John Holmberg (09:52)
• Legal Boundaries and Temptation:
  He admits wanting to play the angry voicemail on-air, just to see if he could coax a lawsuit from his own station.

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3. Absurdity in Comedy: Embracing the Role of the Fool

(12:53–14:59 & 16:33–17:56)

• Defense of Stupidity-as-Comedy:
  John clarifies his schtick involves “the absurd dumb guy,” highlighting that feigned ignorance often fuels the best bits:
  • "It's more fun to act like I don't [understand science]. And also, I truly do believe the what if factor is in play." – John Holmberg (13:44)
• Critique of Fact-Checking Killjoys:
  John and Brady lampoon those who over-analyze comedy for accuracy, tying it back to John Eaton’s literalism and the culture of taking things too seriously.

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4. Bitcoin Heist: The $7.3 Billion Scam Story

(17:56–29:21)

• Massive Fraud in Bitcoin:
  John tells of a Chinese woman who scammed $7.3 billion, hiding the proceeds in Bitcoin:
  • "She was stealing...putting it in bitcoin. It grew. That's how it got to 7.3." – John Holmberg (25:14)
  • The gang debates the psychology of greed – at what point should a successful scammer stop?
• Cultural Stereotypes and Names:
  John riffs on the confusion Americans feel differentiating Asian names and pokes fun at people adopting aliases:
  • "Hey, Chinese people, nobody can identify you anyway, internationally. Don't worry about it. You don't have to go alias on us." – John Holmberg (23:13)

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5. Radio Rivalries and The Continuing Saga of John Eaton

(29:21–32:28)

• More Eaton, More Satire:
  John invents skits and mock dialogues as John Eaton, highlighting his inability to enjoy lighthearted or absurd humor:
  • "Are you telling me after all these years of your fart jokes that they don't contain actual methane gas?" – John Holmberg as John Eaton (31:17)
• Radio Show Community Critique:
  There’s a meta element, with John warning listeners who volunteer their criticism that they'll become the show’s new running joke.
  • "You volunteered not only your name, but your opinion so I can make fun of you all day if I feel like." – John Holmberg (32:09)

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6. David Cross on Comedy in Saudi Arabia: Ethics, Selling Out, and Comic Hypocrisy

(32:28–54:18)

• Riyadh Comedy Fest Controversy:
  The heart of the episode is discussion on Western comedians (Dave Chappelle, Bill Burr, et al.) accepting gigs in Saudi Arabia, despite the regime's record on human rights.
  • "[Comedians’] jobs are to complain about stuff... People I admire with incredible talent would condone this totalitarian fiefdom...for what, a fourth house? A boat? For more sneakers in their collection." – John Holmberg quoting David Cross (38:45)
• Double Standards and ‘Sellout’ Critique:
  The hosts dissect whether musicians, athletes, and other entertainers should be held to similar standards.
• Relatability and Temptation:
  John openly admits that, for enough money, he’d likely compromise as well:
  • "For $100 million, I'm gonna join the church. I don't have to actually believe it. I just play the part." – John Holmberg (48:13)
• Moral Consistency in Comedy:
  They highlight the risk for comedians who base acts on progressive stances, only to take money from oppressive regimes:
  • "But when you're taking political or opinionated stances on stuff and then throw that away for cash, David Cross is right." – John Holmberg (44:06)

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7. Reflections on Money, Morality, and Hypocrisy

(43:22–51:49)

• Would You Take the Money?
  The crew deep-dives the temptation of massive paydays versus personal beliefs, referencing John’s own family experience with high-paying jobs in Saudi Arabia.
• Golfers and the LIV Tour Parallels:
  Listeners compare comedians’ “sellout” controversy to pro golfers taking Saudi money.

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8. Concluding Thoughts and Musical Treats

(53:01–End)

• Music as Commentary:
  The show wraps up by relating hypocrisy in music (Rage Against the Machine at an inauguration) and selecting Aerosmith’s “Sweet Emotion” as the next song—a nod to how classics endure even as times change.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "Do you do your research before you make those jokes?" – Brady, poking fun at literalist critics (06:35)
• "I got a message from one of the Bobs that says that I’m not allowed to give my own money away. And I kind of think he sort of threatened to sue me." – John Holmberg (09:02)
• "If I don't understand it and I'm making absurd comments, probably the safe side to err on is John's goofing around." – John Holmberg (16:48)
• "His Chinese character wasn't even speaking Mandarin. It was just doing English with a crappy accent. It's not authentic!" – John, mocking his own critics (31:17)
• "Whenever they complain about anything...they should just be complaining that we don't support enough torture and mass execution of journalists, LGBTQ peace activists in the States." – John quoting David Cross (38:45)
• "For $100 million, I'm gonna join the church. I don't have to actually believe it. I just play the part." – John Holmberg on selling out (48:13)
• "Highly encourage you not to have too strong a belief in case Saudi Arabia comes calling." – John Holmberg (53:24)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 01:24–07:49 – John Eaton, the literalist listener and the perils of explaining jokes
• 07:49–12:53 – The $500,000 Merc Mania bet and radio exec fallout
• 17:56–29:21 – Bitcoin scam story and reflections on greed
• 32:28–41:05 – David Cross’s critique on comedians and Saudi Arabia; double standards in showbiz
• 41:05–44:06 – Should comedians (and others) accept Saudi money if they posture as political/moral voices?
• 48:03–53:24 – The personal temptation to “sell out”; drawing the line on moral consistency
• 53:33–55:30 – Rage Against the Machine analogy and wind-down with “Sweet Emotion”

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Episode Tone

The episode is quick-witted, layered with sarcasm, and rich in pop-culture and behind-the-scenes radio references. Holmberg’s persona alternates between jaded veteran busting through red tape, gleeful prankster, and self-effacing satirist. The show delights in targeting anyone too uptight to get the joke—especially those, like John Eaton, whose pedantic criticisms actually become the funniest part of the show.

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For listeners and newcomers alike, this episode delivers sharp humor, inside radio railings, and an unfiltered take on cultural hypocrisy—while pulling no punches for anyone lacking a sense of humor.

Transcript

[Host]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[John Holmberg]

All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com NFL Sunday's coming.

[Brady]

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[John Holmberg]

Still streaming Homberg's morning s this online at 98kupd.com instead of being a sorry good conversation happening afterward. Speaking of those people, not the well, kind of.

[Host]

We'll get to them.

[John Holmberg]

Look, here's the thing. I hate to pull the fourth wall down. Sometimes I have to. You know they do that at play. Sometimes they'll just go playing the part of the absurd person who says crazy things. John Holmberg There's a good couple of people. Not a lot, but two. This babbling just to fill time infuriates me. It's nuclear fission, not fusion. We've detonated quite a few nukes in space. Do one second of research, please. John Eaton John, you must be a blast at comedy clubs. Like it has to be fun. Of course I'm being absurd for the Yesterday I'd spent 20 minutes talking about bombing Gaza with pigs and bacon. I didn't need research for the absurd. I say absurd things when I'm not sure what the truth is. And I know that's kind of destroying the fun part, but some people with sticks in their asses have to have explained to them every once in a while. I'm doing that on purpose. That's the fun part. Yes, I know there's no air in space. My question is, what if? Why are we so hell bent on nuke and stuff in space? I saw it in Armageddon. It didn't work out. That's my research. There's the funny. Do you watch cartoons with kids and go, what? The rabbit's talking. Do some goddamn research. Rabbits can't talk.

[Brady]

He must only tune in on the first hour because Brady Report. He's going to lose his mind.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. The absurdity of things is the comm. Yeah. A comedy club must be a nightmare for a guy like that. This just infuriates me. He's just babbling for the sake of it. Do some research, man. On stage. This isn't a TED Talk, you dick. I'm goofing. I don't know why we're nuking Asteroids. It seems very movie based. I don't think anybody's done a lot of research. I find it hysterical to think that we might do what Steve Buscemi and Bruce Willis came up with back in like in the early 90s. I gotta deal with idiots like this. That's infuriating. It's fission fusion. I think when you heard me say, what is it? Fission? Clearly I don't know. And I'm making a joke of that. I'm the joke, John. No, no. I'm driving along just being furious at everything. I'm a miserable prick. I was watching TV the other night and there was a woman and she was in a red tight dress and she was quite beautiful. And then later in the film, I found out she was married to a rabbit. This is insane. This is illegal in all 50 states. Now, see, for the absurdity, I'd have said 51. And then you got. No, there's only 50 states. Count the flag. Here's something I do know and I don't need to have any research. It's in your ass about 11 inches and he just reach in and pull it out. It's a stick. That's all. Boy, there's some people out there. I'm kidding. I'm being the absurd dumb guy in those situations because I like to take things I'm not sure about and make them loud and absurd. I'm sorry. To all the people who get it that have to have the joke explained to them. But you gotta understand, there's a couple people out there that can't. Can't stop themselves. From firing off an angry tower text at the jokes. That's impossible. The bass boat doesn't go on seawater. Like. Okay, that was. Ralph. You told that joke about, like the. If you took away Budweiser, we would have bass boats going over. We know it doesn't come.

[Brady]

Problems will be solved.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, the saltwater wouldn't.

[Brady]

A weekend.

[John Holmberg]

They're not built for salt water. And plus there's not enough gas. It's a joke. Like, you can't run a bass boat all the way to Saudi Arabia. We know, but that's the absurd. That's. Anyway, I have to explain it.

[Brady]

I picture the old Bugs Bunny cartoon. Yosemite Sam coming.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no. I said fission. Any duck that gets shot that hard loses more than just its beak. Yeah. Get shot in the face with a shotgun and his beak just spun around. He would be dead. We know. John Eaton. We know. We know. We did. The guys at Looney Tunes didn't do any research on what a shotgun blast would do to Daffy Duck. And unfortunately, it was. It was crucial. It was actually paramount to. To the story being kind of lost. By the way, yesterday, again, 20 to 30 minutes on pigs with bombs in them. They didn't hear from you? We're pigs.

[Brady]

They're wild boars.

[John Holmberg]

And then we had boars. And boars technically aren't pigs. Do some research. I drive to my job every day at the stick factory, and I don't understand what happened to me, but I got very angry. I think you sat on one of your sticks at the office and they. Oh, remove that and you'll be fun again. Scott Haynes says he probably watches porn up and goes. Well, it's illegal everywhere to have sex with your stepdaughter. This is craziness. Don't stop, retard. I'm gonna call the police. This pornography's gotten into incest.

[Brady]

There's no way she's stuck in that dryer.

[John Holmberg]

That's. Women don't act. You can't get. Look at this. She's smiling. Do some research. If you're smaller than the hole, you can slide right out. Why doesn't the man help her back? Oh, he's having sex with it. That's illegal. That's rape.

[Host]

How do we know he's bigger than his father?

[John Holmberg]

I don't understand this. I need some sort of context. I can't just take a word for it. It's. Yeah, we know. Women are liars. That's. We don't need research. Yeah, he's insane. If you. If you're firing off an email to correct the scientific nature of the absurd statement. You're the one that needs to do some research. Calling me out on like a goof about how scientifically I'm not right. Let me. Let me slow you down there. I know I'm not right. I don't know anything about it. That's the fun of the game. See, I had to deal with this yesterday that people with sticks in their asses. They're called radio executives and their asses are filled with sticks there, man. It's ridiculous. It's like they can't. They put sticks in the sticks. So our Merc Main. Oh, Brady. Merc Mania taken on the Las Vegas Aces. Oh, that's.

[Host]

So what happened?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, good luck. Phoenix. Trying to. Trying to have a weekend in Vegas over the next couple weeks because the flights are going to be full of people flying up there to watch. Because I know for a fact Merc Mania has. They're going to the road that 93. The street that's gonna be. And I know it's a highway, John, you sure? I know it's a highway. I called it a street. Municipal highways are straight. They don't have stops.

[Brady]

Well, there's one hotel that's guarantee you're not gonna be able to get into.

[John Holmberg]

The W. Oh, my God, that's. What do they even have a W in Vegas? I don't know why you'd even go. I don't even if they have one. But if they do, you're right, they'll be confused by it. But yeah, the 93 is going to be just a. It's going to look like Field of Dreams, Just cars forever. And then, of course, you know, the road trip and back and forth. But we tried to do Merc Mania yesterday, where I guaranteed I could call anybody in the city and ask a question, and I was willing to put up $500,000 for that of my own money. Well. Oh, boy, the Bob's. You know, here's the fun part. I got a message from one of the Bobs that says that I'm not allowed to give my own money away. And I kind of think he sort of threatened to sue me. I think my own company threatened to sue me.

[Host]

So the phone worked for that?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. No, they got. They got on the horn for that one.

[Host]

Unbelievable.

[John Holmberg]

So they're like, don't ever. Don't do that. Don't ever do that again. I'm like, why? It's my money. Don't. Don't ever do that. Again or what? Well, there'll be ramifications. I'm like, I'm fine with that. You'll be sued for. By my own company for giving my money away. Dahlia.

[Brady]

This is interesting.

[John Holmberg]

So they didn't understand that. They thought they were on the hook for it. I don't know. I won't. And then they're telling me not to do it again. You're right. I'm not going to do it again. You know how scared I was? Almost gave away $500,000 if that lady on the phone yesterday knew anything. But, oh, my God, the Bobs. They had meetings with each other and then came back to, like, Larry and me. And what happened in there today? Like, nothing. It's actually okay. Aha. Ah. It's okay. You're all right to be caught. And they're so afraid, and they had to call legal. I don't know what. I honestly don't know what happened, but it made them very scared, and they thought that they were going to have to pay somebody, and. And I'm like, just good radio. I think it got you all fired up. I think that's what good radio does, right? No, we don't know what good radio is. We're radio executives. It's the last thing we know about.

[Brady]

But what did they tell you about that contest you just did?

[John Holmberg]

Well, Tony, don't call it that. Do your research. John Eaton, our lawyer. You know nothing tool. How dare you try to give your own money away. Well, don't worry about it. I knew no one would know the answer to who the coach of the Mercury is. You didn't know that for certain. Yeah, but I do now, and it worked. You're an insane person. I'm like, okay.

[Host]

Matters.

[John Holmberg]

If you give away your money, you're not.

[Host]

You're not charging the trip.

[John Holmberg]

I have. I have a message on my machine in my office from one of the Bobs. It was kind of mad at me, and he was. It wasn't a threat. It was like, a veiled thing, and it was. And I. I kind of half. I want to play it on the air to see if I could get him to sue me for playing him on the air without his permission. I kind of want to see if my own would come after me.

[Brady]

Not worth it.

[John Holmberg]

Yes, it is, actually. And now I want to do it because they're worried that it's. That they're on the hook for the money. So I kind of. I kind of want to do it again and then go. I don't have it and make them have to pay. It was just weird. And I'm like, yeah, I was just trying to make good radio. Sorry about that. And they're like, ah, well, how is that good radio? I'm like, it was actually great radio. Like, remember back when, oh, you guys weren't around when radio was awesome? You took over and ruined it. But yeah, it used to be that. That stuff was pretty common.

[Brady]

The amazing thing is the person, Michelle, who we called, uh huh.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah, lady. No, she's feeding.

[Brady]

Yeah, her last name's Tibbets. Her, that was her husband didn't even know.

[John Holmberg]

Is that right? The contestant was married to the coach of America?

[Brady]

No idea.

[John Holmberg]

He goes somewhere at night like 30 times a year. He has a regular job. He works at the Stick Factory with a man named John Eaton. Hilarious. Anyway, I kind of want to do that. And it wasn't like anybody was like, mad, but I kind of felt like I was being told they'd sue me if I kept it up. And I'm like, kept up what? Those crazy radio antics. Oh, isn't that what. That what I'm supposed to do? Yes, but no. Do some research. But I want to play the call I got on the air and then have him call. Why'd you play me on the air? That's illegal. I'm like, yeah, I know. What are you gonna do about that? Well, I'll sue you. Okay. This will be fun. This is like step sister porn. Like, I don't think you're supposed to be. This is supposed to sue your own people. Why do you want me in trouble so bad? I don't know. I don't like you. Somewhere along the line, that whole group up there just stopped liking me completely.

[Brady]

Doesn't Mr. Beast give away his own money?

[John Holmberg]

That's. Yes, thank you. But he's not under any sort of government control. I think that's what they're more worried. He's not. He's an fa. So once you get on the Internet, you can do whatever you want. It's not regulated by anything.

[Brady]

But then he get, you know, I.

[John Holmberg]

Don'T know, a couple of television, Brady. I don't know nothing. None of it makes sense. So there I was yesterday doing some research, trying to figure out exactly, like, what's he mad about? And he's mad he didn't think of it. Coming up with ideas. How dare you? This is radio. How'd you come up with an idea? You work in this business. I'm like, I know. I've dealt with consultants and radio executives for a while. And they are the actual opposite of people who come up with ideas. There are people who kill ideas. I love Tripp. He's our boss man here. But when he worked at KROC in Los Angeles, Kevin and Bean called him the enemy of fun, because every time they did something funny, come in and go, stop it. And that's his job. You know, he's got his gig to do. But these dudes are insane. Donovan points out an excellent thing for John Eaton. I mean, Holmberg. The reason I've tuned in for 25 years now is for the scientific accuracy. Look at Brady, a pillar of academia. Yeah, Donovan, you nailed. Isn't that. I actually tried to let you know I was clueless about this. I understand the vacuum of space deep down, but it's more fun to act like I don't. And also, I truly do believe the what if factor is in play. We've looted. We've. We've. We've tested nukes in space a lot. Okay. Have we ever hit an asteroid with one? No. Do we know for certain what's inside that particular asteroid? We know most of the. Okay, most of there. So there's a. The 4% chance it'll hit the moon is the same as the 4% chance it's got a nuke inside of it. You're an idiot. All right, I'm just. I'm just saying it seems excessive. Morning sickness. Culberg's morning sickness radiate KU pd.

[Dick Toledo]

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[John Holmberg]

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[Brady]

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[John Holmberg]

That's Amco double A MCO transmissions and a whole lot more. Homburg's morning sickness.

[Brady]

Can't we just reach out to the Guardians of Galaxy?

[John Holmberg]

Yes. Well, that was a terrible movie. Brady the Raccoon. It spoke. And it could fight. The average raccoon would lose in a gun battle. It's the recoil of the weapon would knock the raccoon down. They're very light. Thanks, John Eaton, for ruining Guardians of the Galaxy. Steven. Texting and says, the amount of ass that guy doesn't get is unquantifiable. Passionate about space to a radio jackass. His mom definitely took a lot of Tylenol. I'm gonna love that. That's gonna be a joke for the rest of Tylenol's existence. Tylenol has to change its name because right now, I'm seeing that constantly. Oh, my mom ate Tylenol is the joke. So, yeah, sorry about that. To you guys who were, like, scientifically offended by me being stupid, it's me who should be, like, upset at the entire bit. I'm the dumbass in it. I'm willing to play the role, because technically, I don't know everything about space, and neither do you. Anyway, I don't if I don't understand it and I'm making absurd comments. Probably the safe side to err on is John's just goofing around. I'm not really trying to change science, really. I'm having a discussion that could very well be fun. Really?

[Host]

On this show.

[John Holmberg]

I know. Normally I like to go out there and like Neil DeGrasse Tyson and just hit you with fact after fact because I'm just loaded with them. Yeah, that dude can't get laid ever again. It is. You know what? It is a TED Talk. It is the Enemy of fun is a great nickname. When I found that out, I'm like, oh, I wish I'd have thought of that, but he's always been fun. But, yeah, I kind of want to play. I kind of want to do that. Every time I go, I got a talking to by a authority figure, and they leave a recording. They're dumb enough to leave a recording. I'll just play that. I didn't give you permission to put you on the air. Yeah, but you work at a radio station, so I think it's like, I think at any moment that's okay. I'll sue. And if you're out there stealing bitcoin, level her off. I don't know if you guys saw this. There's a certain level of theft that would intoxicate me if I was getting away with it. And this is it. There's a Chinese lady who has pled guilty to in Great Britain because she was. They don't know how she was doing it. There's a certain amount of greed that even I'm like, all right, I got plenty. I'm gonna stop now. She got involved in, like, scamming people out of bitcoin to the tune of $7.3 billion. Wow. And she had done it a bunch. So she was looking for a couple houses in Dubai when they nailed her. And she's like, no, I'm working for a really rich Chinese businessman. He's telling me to do that. Huh. And then they looked, and they noticed that she had been about $7.3 billion. So she got up over about 400 million in her bank account before she started getting a little cavalier with how she was spending at 7.3 billion. I think you start losing touch with what 400 million is, and you throw it around, like, 20s. And she was going to get, like a. She was buying an island or something like that. And they're like, who is this? Like, she's an assistant for a bank manager. Why is she buying a $400 million property in Dubai or whatever she was doing? And so they looked into it, and she's like, yeah, I got a little. It got a little out of hand kind of quick. $7.3 billion. And I said to myself as I read the article, and where would I draw the line if I had figured out a scam and I hit that 2 or $300 million mark before my tummy starts spinning, and I'm like, this is not good. You just need to stop now. Where do you stop? And then once you get to a billion, you're like, okay, that's enough. But if you can get to a billion, 2 billion starts looking pretty good. And then, you know, next thing you know, you're at seven and you're like, I don't. I think I might have a problem.

[Host]

It's like in Vegas. Just keep chasing.

[John Holmberg]

You chase and. But she's winning. You don't walk away from a heater.

[Host]

Oh, I know. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And she was on quite a heater. And here's the other thing. If you look at her, she doesn't look like a billionaire at all. Wow.

[Brady]

And then going around.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's going around buying stuff.

[Brady]

It's a lovely house.

[John Holmberg]

Right? And that's the thing. If you're gonna buy a house in Dubai and you're a Chinese and you're there, dress up a little. No sweatpants and, you know, Everlast shirts.

[Brady]

So what happens?

[John Holmberg]

Everest. It's actually spelled wrong.

[Brady]

Three billion.

[John Holmberg]

No scam.

[Brady]

But what happens? Does that go back to where it was?

[John Holmberg]

It just moves around. No one knows for sure it's a nuclear fission. Brady. I think that's it. And that goes into space and we nuke it. I don't know.

[Brady]

Chinese government says we, we're going to handle this.

[John Holmberg]

Probably the Chinese government will take hold of it. But $7.3 billion had been moved. It doesn't mean she had it, but it had been kind of danced around that area. And she was dabbling around, cashing in on hundreds of millions of dollars without, like, blinking an eye. And she looks like a Chinese housemaid. And so you're kind of like, oh, you know, and people hate that. That's true. But around the world. Well, when you look at somebody and they're like, I got billions, and you're like, you look filthy. Skepticism kicks in based on your appearance. That's why you don't go to job interviews dressed like, like. Well, like me right now. There's a T shirt and shorts and, like, you don't go in there because it's an impression you're leaving on somebody. And when you're technically buying a house in Dubai for a couple hundred million dollars, people are going to look at you like, where's this money coming from? You're. This is weird.

[Brady]

26 million. He paid cash.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, you know, Chinese businessmen come in. A lot of times. Russians have to pay cash because they're not allowed to do any transfers. Banking from Russia throughout the. Maybe in the Middle east, but I don't think Dubai. They had to pay cash for gas in Alaska when Putin's plane was. It had to be a cash buy because they're not allowed to use banking at all. Not leaving paid cash or you're out. And Trump, it would have been awesome if Trump went over. Do you need a loan for the. Here, let me just. I'll fill your tank with American money. So, yeah, don't get greedy if you're stealing right now. That's a. Her name is. She had two names, and that's the other thing, and that's the bigot. The bigot that lives inside of me is the. Like, she had one name, and it was Jimin Quinn. And she also had a. An alias, another name. It was M A Y E. No, it was Yadi Zhang. And I'm like, Chinese names sounds the same. Yeah, I know. I couldn't tell. Like, I wouldn't remember your first time. I. Titty Quinn. Okay. I figured that was close to that. What is your query? Chidi Quinn. Now, I'm Yadi Jang. I think that's what you said the first time. I don't know. Your language is confusing.

[Brady]

It's nice to meet you and your husband. Cha.

[John Holmberg]

I'm just gonna call you Susan and you Chris. Okay. You're all named Chris, if that's all right. But, yeah, she went with Yadi Zhang when she didn't want anybody to identify her. And I'm like, hey, Chinese people. Nobody can identify you anyway, internationally. Don't worry about it. You don't have to go alias on us. You could be a. I'm telling you right now, in this room, we could have a Chinese man working here right Straight out of China. This I'm telling you out of fact, not because I'm a jerk, but this is just our eyes, and I think they'd be the same with us. And he walks in and he does it. I don't know if they bow. I think that's Japanese. But he says, hello, and then he says, my name is Ken. I go, all right, how are you, Ken? And then he goes down the hall and changes his clothes and comes back and introduces himself at someone else. All three of us sitting in this room right now would think we hired two Chinese guys. We wouldn't know for sure. And we would never.

[Brady]

I'm not gonna question.

[John Holmberg]

I would never say hi to them. I'd be Brady on that one. What's up, chief? Hi. Hey, buddy. I'd never say Ken or what the other guy said his name was. I'd never even dabble. And trying to know who. And I would assume for probably it would go on a good seven or eight years that we had two Chinese men Working here just because he pulled that prank on me day one. And I would never look into it. John Eaton. That's one I'm never going to do research on, ever. You get one Chinese guy with two personalities, I assume we've got two Chinese guys. So to change your name, that's pointless.

[Brady]

Did it say how long she'd been doing this?

[John Holmberg]

Since 2014.

[Brady]

How about that?

[John Holmberg]

So in 11 years, she got $7.3 billion.

[Host]

Nice turnaround.

[John Holmberg]

It is a pretty ROI on that scam was good, all right. And they even said they don't know how she's orchestrating the fraud scheme in China. She defrauded 128,000 victims between 14 and 17. And she stored the illegally obtained funds in bitcoin assets. So she was stealing, putting it in bitcoin. It grew. That's how it got to 7.3. So she didn't steal. So, okay, that makes more sense now. It kind of adds up. But she doesn't, though, because she still have to get like the hundreds of millions of dollars to get to that. And she made 7.3 billion hiding her stolen money in bitcoin. Just genius, really, when you think about it. But after a while now, I checked my Coinbase account quite a bit and I watched my. My very small bitcoin investment kind of grow or shrink pretty much 35 times a day. I'm looking at that. I. And if it jumped up to $7.3 billion, I put the brakes on. I think my dad and I are in it together and we've got a mark on ours to where we start taking money, and it's a pretty reasonable number. And then we're going to keep some in there in case it keeps going. But neither of us have ever said, all right, we got a pretty nice thing here. Let's say if it gets to a billion, we pull out. No, dad, I'm going to go way earlier than that. Way earlier than that.

[Brady]

It's a good start.

[John Holmberg]

I might take enough to have a trip to Australia or something. I might take like 30 grand and I think that would be a nice start. No, no, we got to think bigger. I'm like, yeah, think big all you want. I'm still going to take some wins here now and again. And we've had some nice luck. And my dad gets into this thing where he's like, all right, let's say this thing pops for 10 million. Like, yeah, what do we do? Like, we're. Well, we're out like 4 million before that. First of all, I'M not even thinking about 10 million. If we've got six and we're dancing on it, that we're dumb, let's just steal that. Well, what if it explodes? I'm like, then we'll be like, laughing that we have $6 million. That is pretty good. I'm going to wait till 10. That's what you think, old man. You don't know how to. You know how to work this app. I'm going to go on transfer. What about the taxes? And we got. We'll. We'll deal with our $10 million tax problem. When we've got $10 million, I think we wait for it to hit 20 million. Like, that's going to be a couple of years. I think I'm the only one that's going to see that, old man. So my dad has that in him, too. A little Xijiang. I think my dad would be like, Anyway, wait till 7.3 billion and then we start buying stuff.

[Brady]

Patience.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, gotta be patient, son. Like, I. But, yeah, I think you look at that, and after a while, you start seeing those kind of numbers. You stop scamming people. After a while, you start realizing that your scam worked. If I stole $100 from Brady, and let's say I turned that into, oh, I don't know, a hundred million, I'm not asking you for more. That's it. You've done your part. I may not tell you. I might even have the audacity to give you back 120 bucks. There you go, buddy. Thanks for that loan. A little while. I didn't know I loaned anything. Yeah, I swiped it out of your wallet. I feel terrible about it. In fact, here's a thousand dollars to make good for it. I was going through it. I was. I was in a bad space there. And Brady would be like, that's awesome. A decent man did a decent thing. Now where are you gonna go? My house in Dubai. Goodbye, Brady. I'll never talk to you again. Late. But, yeah, start doing that, you know.

[Brady]

14 years, you've accumulated 7.3 billion. I don't know what she was doing before that, but one day she, you know, a year into it, pulls up in a McLaren.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. You guys still watch that? Yeah.

[Brady]

Because her lifestyle had to have changed if she's looking at, you know, two houses in Dubai.

[John Holmberg]

Right?

[Brady]

I wonder what the story was. Well, she's done really well.

[John Holmberg]

Well, there's the thing. I think maybe she was.

[Brady]

She could just say, I'm doing fantastic.

[John Holmberg]

In bitcoin, working with this Chinese businessman as his assistant, and we crushed it. And yeah, she can say I invested in bitcoin the little bit that I had, and it's turned into a few hundred million. Little did they know that she had jumped it up into the billion.

[Brady]

So you're leaving the cave?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You're not going to help us? You're not going to help us yoke the ox in the morning anymore? Oh, I'm all done with that. I don't have to yolk ox again. Wow. How come you didn't tell us about bitcoin? I don't know. How come you have American accent? John Eaton say nobody do research. What are you yoking accent for? In China, you have no accent. Accents are racist. Oh, that's what John Eaton would say. He a dick. Holberg's morning sickness. Morning sickness 28 kubd.

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[John Holmberg]

Experian Holmberg's morning sickness, infuriated by no accent Yoka of oxen. By the way, John Eaton here, Chinese people in Chinese don't speak with American accents. Speaking English, you idiot. They speak Chinese. Do a little research. If you're gonna do your characters, do it in Mandarin. It's stupid to think that they would just have accents and speak English to each other. They're in China. Do a little research. Your joke holds no water. I yolk oxen. Nah, she would have said that in Chinese. I can't stand that guy. And they can't run on bamboo. What's the matter with you? I was listening to radio this morning. You're not gonna believe it. Oh, yeah, I heard it. It was pretty funny. John, how can you say that was funny? His Chinese character wasn't even speaking Mandarin. It was just Doing English with a. With a crappy accent. It's not authentic. Do you. Do you speak Mandarin, John? No, but I'm an American. Why would I. Why would I do that? Well, then how would he convey the joke to you if he was doing it in Chinese? Well, at least it would have some authenticity, and I could sleep at night. I'm John Eaton, and I have a stick in my asses. Are you telling me after all these years of your fart jokes that they don't contain actual methane gas? I'm going back to Pratt. At least he always gave me everything, including merit. Yeah, that's right. I didn't break down the molecular structure of a fart every time I did the joke. But geez Louise, John, I'm having a rough morning. And then you go on with the accent. Okay, fine. Maybe I didn't do my research. Maybe it wasn't Mandarin. Maybe he's Cantonese, but either way, it wouldn't have been English. And there's no way a guy without an accent is talking about oxen yoking. I yoke oxen all my life. Make billion dollars, move to Dubai. Oh, my God, he's doing it again. He's lost his mind. Also, he's playing the part of two different people, which is called being bipolar. Dinner. Anyway, I'll go to Dutch brothers and yell at them. What's your name, sir? It's John Eaton. You spelled it with an H. It's an N, God damn it. Do some research. Must be rough being that upset at.

[Host]

Everything, pulling that stick out, you know?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, sticks and asses are rough. I'm glad I've never been like, too stick in the ass about things. Like, I'll have one. Everybody's got one every once in a while. Sure, get a stick in my ass about that. But for the most part, if somebody's just goofing with me, I laugh hysterically at the absurdity of it all. If they say something stupid on the on purpose, that makes me laugh even harder. That's fun. I have a friend named Jordan who's like. He says dumb stuff all the time. Used to be a doctor, but was like, I think they took it all away from him. And now he sells sprinkler products to people who own parking garages. Doesn't make any sense. So he says dumb things all the time, and I laugh hysterically at it because I would never say, do your research before you make those jokes. Burner boy emails and says, sounds like John Eaton just became a rock wars topic today. Maybe he's a thread that lasts all day long. And keep in mind, I know you can contact my bosses and they'll gladly get into a class action lawsuit with you against me. But you emailed me, so you volunteered not only your name, but your opinion so I can make fun of you all day if I feel like. Yeah, just say this. I don't know what this means, so don't hold me to it. Just say, hey, John Eaton, Tony Ma, and make this asshole happy with a Mandarin word. I York, oxen. Tony Ma. I don't know what that means. I think it's a guy. It's Anthony Ma who lives over there in China. And the guy had the audacity to do just some basic American yoking the oxen, which, by the way, they don't do anymore. Do you have proof of that? Yes. It's not called yoking an oxen either, idiot. See, I don't know, but that seems fun to me to kind of make that joke and stuff that people are serious about. And I don't know where I stand on this one. David Cross from Arrested Development and one of the funniest shows ever that was on HBO with Bob Odenkirk. God, I can't remember the name of it just offhand. The Big Show. Is that what it's called? I think so. I don't remember no Mr. Show. That was it. Mr. Show. He came out against this gigantic comedy festival that just happened in Saudi Arabia this weekend. The writer and I didn't think of it this way. I. I was. I'm. I'm usually just fine with, like, all right, I have no problem with that whole, let's go someplace that's uncomfortable, and if they're asking for it, let's give them what they want. We talked to Jonathan Kite last week when he was here, and he's like, man, it is. It's turned into like a big discussion in the world of comedians, of like, can you go to Saudi Arabia to do your job? When I was a little kid, my dad this. It kind of is a weird tie back. My dad's company was getting headhunted by a Saudi Arabian construction company that was trying to get American workers to go work in Riyadh to build stuff real fast because they were having this big building thing like this boom. And they didn't have a lot of qualified workers, so they were taking these. Americans were now bidding these jobs, and it would be under the umbrella of the Saudi Arabian company. But you're still an American company saying, we want this money. So There was tons of it. So probably in these guys that went over there and did it for incredible.

[Brady]

Five years and retired.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly what I'm talking about. 79. My dad gets offered a job with his boss was Bill Kelly. My dad was the two on the job building West Virginia Mountaineer stadium in West Virginia. They come a calling, and they offered, I think, at the time, in 1979, pretty good money. My dad's probably making about 40 or 50 grand in 79. That was nice. It was a good. Is a really good living. And they. And so you put that in perspective. The Saudi Arabian company shows up and offered my dad 170 a year. Whoa, that's fat back then. I mean, I don't know what 50 grand translates today.

[Brady]

That's half mil, probably.

[John Holmberg]

170,000. I think we're getting close to a million. Yeah, I think we're at 10x on 100 million to in the last 40 years. It's close to 8 or 9. You're somewhere. Yeah, I think you're probably about right. And then I think maybe even on the light side. So his boss, Bill Kelly, takes the gig, drags his family. They go to Riyadh. My mom said, we're not going. And mainly because she was and not like, she took a big political stance, but she basically said, the way they treat women over there scares me. It was personal. She's like, I don't want to go there and have to wear the clothes and, like, be worried constantly that my kids are gonna. We have a daughter. And my dad comes like, yeah, that's true. And then his boss Bill called and said, it's an American enclave. We can do whatever we want. Like, it's the United States in a giant apartment building. You just can't leave it. If you do, you gotta. The women have to put the things on, and they can't drive.

[Brady]

Yeah. If you're gonna go into the community.

[John Holmberg]

Right. If you stay, they had a grocery store, a drugstore, all American stuff. But you're gonna be. For three years, you're gonna be pretty much locked into this. And my mom said it would be like a prison. And I don't want to raise my kids that way. Well, fast forward about four years. Bill Kelly comes back, retired at age 38. And his kids are tan, so happy, incredibly well rounded, like, awesome people. And I think it's my dad's biggest regret, this comedian thing is like. Well, they offered him a fortune. The opportunity was to entertain a different culture. Yes. Saudi Arabia had a lot to do with 9 11, yes. They are not real friendly to the gay community. They oppress gays and women and all that stuff. And that's who you're taking the money directly from, is the guy in charge of it is, you know, the prince. And, like, he's like, there's dudes in charge of the way that country's run. So what he. What David Cross said made sense to me because at first I'm like, well, just take the money, go over there, do the laughs, have some fun. It's not like, you don't have to be political or anything else. David Cross said something that made me think. He said, we can never take these people seriously again. Comedians, jobs to complain about stuff. And when they complain about, you know, cancel culture and treatment of people and how they just went and took money from a place that absolutely destroys folks for that. He's like, I'm disgusted. I'm deeply disappointed in the whole thing. People I admire with incredible talent would condone this totalitarian fiefdom. I've never heard of that. For what, a fourth house? A boat? For more sneakers in their collection whenever they complain about anything. And that's what comedians do. I guess they just should be complaining that we don't support enough torture and mass execution of journalists, LGBTQ peace activists in the States. We can't listen to them, their opinions on that if they've taken money from this. And I'm like, it's a bit of a John Eaton stance. It's a bit of a stick in your ass stance, but at the same time, you are starting to play a little bit with. With the aspect of. I mean, especially Dave Chappelle.

[Brady]

Well, Bill. Bill Burr has went over there too, as well, and he says, you think everything. Everybody's going to be screaming, death to America.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And you're gonna have effing machetes and want to chop my head off. Right. Because that's what you've been fed about that part of the world.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's. That's. It's not only what we've been fed.

[Brady]

But he's trying to defend.

[John Holmberg]

Also they are proud of. Beyond what they think of us. They are very proud of their. This is what a woman does. They just let women drive a couple years ago. And the. And the. They. They don't have a good track record. I know it's a great place. It sounds amazing.

[Brady]

And that's the other thing.

[John Holmberg]

To me, it sounds like utopia, like some sort of heaven.

[Brady]

Bill, the other thing he brought up, he's like, and I'm thinking all these preconceptions that I have, but I'll go, oh, is that a Starbucks over there?

[John Holmberg]

Yes, next to a Pizza Hut. Right. And business thrives there. But they still have religious oppression against a lot of people that. But the point being, if that's the.

[Brady]

Case, why haven't they caught heat?

[John Holmberg]

Well, because they're not going. Look, they're taking the money of the people. They're providing a service.

[Host]

They're going there for the weekend.

[John Holmberg]

Right. They're not. Starbucks doesn't want to get involved in the LGBTQ thing here or there and occasionally put a rainbow on there just to appease a bunch of people.

[Brady]

Social media's providing service.

[John Holmberg]

No, Dave Chappelle is already in hot water in this country for people thinking he's anti Trump. It's. All I'm saying is it's a very dangerous thing when you're playing to his crowd. When your job's opinion, when your job is opinion, and you go play in that arena, it's different than selling coffee. Now, you can get all over Starbucks for doing business with them, but then you have to get all over everybody. And you better be, if you're going to go down that road. Pretty true to what you say. And stop going to Starbucks. And don't watch Disney movies and don't watch Marvel movies and don't do anything that actually takes their money. Oh, by the way, stop buying gas. Don't wear plastic, eliminate rubber from your life. Let's grant a Thunberg or whatever. Yeah, exactly. So you can't. You can't do that.

[Brady]

I have no idea how deep it.

[John Holmberg]

Goes, but when you're talking about the human rights aspect and you sit here and you complain here, and then you go take their money, I'm not saying I totally agree with it, but David Cross made the best point as a comedian. When Dave Chappelle gets back on stage and makes a trans joke, it's fueled now because he went someplace that would say. And he took that money saying, we hate him, too. He's. He's. And he doesn't. But it sure doesn't look good.

[Brady]

But that trans joke was from a bit years ago, a special.

[John Holmberg]

He's moved on since then, maybe. No, he hasn't. Because the last hour he did was about how he shouldn't do trans jokes anymore. And he made a. That was great. But it does kind of. I'm not. Again, I'm not saying I'm 100% on David Cross's side, but that's the best argument I've heard against it because comedians jobs are coming and go, oh, that's ridiculous. And we need to do that. How many of them come in here and start telling us how things need to work? They all get political and they're like, I hate Trump, or I love Trump, or, I hate this and I love that and I hate this. And then they go over there. It's like, your political opinion just went away. You can be bought. And that's. That's a very true statement. But it would only be the John Eatons of the world that would stop going to comedy shows if Dave Chappelle was in town, because you don't have a stick in your ass. Saudi Arabia thinks just it's what we. But what would. What would you do again, what would you do? Saudi Arabia offers you. Me, I make jokes about everything, but I go over there. And if I have tried to take any sort of moral stance on anything, it goes away the second Saudi Arabia pays me.

[Brady]

Take a look in the mirror as a country, more or less. Have we done stuff as America?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, but that's, you know, that's going down the road of. But if I did it and if you did. But again, it's the. It's. That's the thing when your wife says something and she's got a legitimate beef with you, so you bring something up from years ago. It's just. It's a. It's a. It's a poor man's argument to sit back and go, but you did it, too. It's that. So it doesn't make it right. Holmberg's morning sickness. Everybody's done something wrong in their life, so that would just basically mean we're always going to argue. But again, if I tried to take, like, let's say I'm, you know, I'm big on the dog thing and I'm huge with dogs, and I'm, you know, I'm all for, like, you know, fighting against anybody who wants to hurt animals. And not to a PETA extent where I think they've capitalized on it financially, but, like, literally, truly a heartfelt feeling of, like, I don't want this to be a thing in this world. And then Mike Vick and I go to Saudi Arabia or China and we're working for some coat factory that makes. And I'm taking money from them, or I'm doing a radio show and I'm getting paid by the people that make coats out of German shepherds in China. Yeah. Everything I've said goes to nothing. Joker. Otherwise, every, every bit of me has turned into, oh, that's. That's the definition of sellout. Not when Led Zeppelin gives Cadillac a song. Although it can be argued that it's like, oh, I see. They just did it for the money. They never meant it. But when you're taking political or opinionated stances on stuff and then throw that away for cash, David Cross is right. You come back and the argument against you, not from everybody, but from people who are like, you can't do that anymore. You took Saudi Arabian money from the actual government. You can't have that stance anymore. You can't tell us this is how you feel when we know for a fact that for enough money you won't feel that way anymore. Marc Maron's quote was great. And it was. Who was it? It was Shane Gillis. I'm not going over there. And they kept throwing more money at him. He's like, I'm not going over there. And he told his agent, stop calling me from, from with every offer, because eventually they're going to hit a number that's going to make me go, okay.

[Host]

I have to be bought.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly.

[Host]

Doesn't matter.

[John Holmberg]

But when you have a moral, the person offering you is like, I don't take their calls anymore. Don't. Don't hear it. Yeah. Because if you start throwing, you know, well, how about 50 million? Shane Gillis, you're the hottest thing going. And you sit back and go, oh, it's against my morals. But this changes everything. This is generational wealth now. My kids. Kids don't ever have to work again. If I do this one thing, if I just put. And to his credit, he said, I can't do it.

[Brady]

How many artists in the past have been taking money from oligarchs, you know, birthday parties or private.

[John Holmberg]

But it all depends on the artist. If you're looking to point fingers. If you're just, yeah, but you're making it this big black and white thing. If you're a person who just sings and you've never really gotten to the arena of, like, here's. I'm. Here's my stance on this. And you're just a singer. You're like, this is what I do. Like Michael Jordan. You say, there's no, you know, there's no red and blue Republicans. Money is green, too. It all spends the same. If you've been neutral on all that stuff and stayed centered and like, I'm never really going to take a stance here. And I'll have that be personal to Just me. Yeah, you can do it. You're not selling out. You never. You never took a stance. But if you're just like a singer and you're like, I'm here to entertain people, fine. But if your whole entire career was based on opinions about this and you've taken shots at the States and treatment of that, or you've. And Dave Chappelle's done that, he's brilliant about, like, here's what I think of this situation and Medgar Evers and the kid in that. He did a whole hour that was more of a philosophical talk than it was a comedy routine. It was great. And it was. But then you go over there and you talk. I mean, you talk about the mistreatment of people here, and then you go over there and then your argument would be, well, America does it, too. It's like, yeah, we're clearly not doing it now, though. Not to that degree. It does, it does. It does offer that argument. I'm not saying I'm. I'm leaning into it, but that was pretty strong on David Cross's part.

[Brady]

Bill Burr said they softened their rules on the comedy that they do. There's two. Only two things they couldn't joke about. The royals in religion.

[John Holmberg]

All right, so as much as. Yeah, as much as I've knocked religion around and they get me over there and they're like, one thing you can't do is ever make fun of our religion. Like, I'm going to make fun of your religion. I think it's ridiculous. I'm not going to do it because, hey, it's not worth it to me to, like, get arrested.

[Brady]

Well, you probably wouldn't do that in the room full of people that. Leaving that religion, though, reading the room.

[Host]

But on top of that, the money you're gonna offer you, it's like, man, I can talk about something else.

[John Holmberg]

I'll suck it up for 24 hours. Yeah, right. But if they gave me a job as a morning show host and good morning, Riyadh. It's a great day. Allah, thank you. I'd be like, you know, I'm the first to admit it. Like, for $100 million, I'm gonna join the church. I don't have to actually believe it. I just play the part. This guy Christopher says if your family went to Saudi Arabia as a kid, your sister probably would have been arrested or killed or something. Missed opportunity. Well, that's kind of cruel. But, yeah, you're right. You could still be in some sort of jail over there.

[Host]

We did the Math here, you're talking. Your dad's buddy made it what, a buck 75 to go over there. In today's money, it's three quarters of a million dollars a year.

[John Holmberg]

750. Brady was right on it. Nice job. Yeah, I watched a lot of those old game shows and when they give away five grand and like 75, it's usually like 48. Today I'm like, that's amazing.

[Brady]

We did Toledo, did the math. My dad financed the snake exhibit at the Ohio State Fair years ago in the 70s. His 6 grand was like that 10 day period was 40k.

[John Holmberg]

I always kind of try to base it off of houses because my parents always told me the first house they bought was like 1975 and it was $18,000. 21 interest rate. Like they had to get a loan and.

[Brady]

Or you just pay.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that was the goal. It's like. But that's when they started to do that. You tried to pay cash, but you gave most of it to the bank and then you still had four grand to pay off in like 11 years. It was impossible. But so if you look at it in 74, 19, and that house is 1600 square foot house, probably you look at it now and the average 1600 square foot house is about 500 grand. That's insane. It's insane. But yeah, so I mean, it basically makes you hypocritical. And that's the worst thing that can happen in comedy when it comes to you being an opinion. If you're a comedian who's like, we were talking John Eaton being a doucher this morning, like making fun of the jokes. It's different when you're just making fun of the jokes. If I'm like taking a stance on something and I have a punchline at the end, but it is truly how I feel. And then I go against that completely. David Cross makes a good point. And those guys that took that money, don't blame them either. That seems that's a tough one to turn down. Oh yeah, this one says. So all those live golfers sellouts now, or is it not applicable? Their sellouts against the pga, which was treating them badly. But any of them that took the Saudi money risk, the, you know, being, being painted with that brush of being, you know, anti human rights. But no, golfers aren't really known for like, wow, that dude just constantly talks about human rights. And yeah, he takes these, he plays golf. And if I was a golfer and they gave me an opportunity to play in those beautiful courses they build over there, that would. I would want to do that.

[Brady]

Less than half the events right here.

[John Holmberg]

It doesn't necessarily mean you're for all of their political takes over there, but it kind of washes away. You saying they treat people poorly here, if you're going to be loud about it. So I say kind of nobody's exonerated from taking Saudi Arabian money. But again, my dad's friend Bill came back here with a nice. You know, he had invested it. Everything he did was right. And in three or four years, the guy came back, retired in his late 30s, because it's like, I'm done. Like, this is easy. They paid for his house. All the money was his. His house was paid for a car. Nothing. Like, you just. You got to. It was probably the equivalent of like two hundred and something thousand a year. With car money, gas, everything was just yours. You don't have to worry about ever spending any of this. You just buy some food for your family and mess around. And his son, Mason, who was my age, he was 8 or 9, he played little League over there. And like, they. They got a whole American thing going. And it's, It's.

[Brady]

There's two or three families growing up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Went over there, did that.

[John Holmberg]

It was a big deal because they started to dabble and they had all that money and they started to dabble with us, like, and we're friendly with them to a certain degree. It's just. You can't sit back and say, oh, I hate. They treat gays this way here and gay rights this, gay rights that, and then go take money from Saudi Arabia. If you just shut up and play golf, or as Laura Ingram says, shut up and dribble, but Instagram's gonna ruin that for a lot of people. It's weird because I'm all for the jokes and stuff, but when you are political and then you go against it, you put a target on your back. But always remember, if you're gonna tell a joke, make sure it's scientifically accurate. Or John Eaton will come to your house with papers and spreadsheets and flowcharts and he will explain to you why the second best thing in the world to winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics is not being retarded. He can give you 10 or other examples of why that's not true.

[Host]

Man, what a guy.

[John Holmberg]

He's just that kind of person. What do you got in the big board of musical treats? Brett, Wake up.

[Host]

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[John Holmberg]

Joey makes a good point. Says it's like Rage against the Machine playing an inauguration. Suddenly you're like, wait a minute, weren't we doing it? Just. It makes them look a little bit like, what is this about the cause? Here's a good point, though, that says it's only foxy if you have beliefs to begin with. That's true. Yeah. So highly encourage you not to have too strong a belief in case Saudi Arabia comes calling and who knows, the government might knock on your door and go, you're a good driller. Would you like to join us for our nuke the asteroid program? And then you get a couple million bucks for that. Would you do that? Hell yeah. Me too. I'd play with nukes for 3 million bucks. In space for a free trip.

[Host]

Turn on the Aerosmith. Let's go.

[John Holmberg]

I don't want to close my eyes either. I'm not missing any of this. And by the way, I'm not brave enough to volunteer to stay with the nuke. I'm the one on the. I'm going. I'll be on the shuttle heading back. You guys can stay here and become heroes. You got to leave a guy to tell your tale. I'm a wordsmith. I'm very good at. I won't leave out anything except for some scientific details. Just. Just for laughs.

[Brady]

Pre worn.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Host]

On the list. Faith no More Midlife Crisis. For our video games that we used to play back in the 80s. Prince, let's go crazy. Because apparently it was number one song on this day in 87.

[John Holmberg]

Metallica.

[Host]

Trivium Primus, My Name Is Mud. For the guy that got fired.

[John Holmberg]

Yep.

[Host]

Monster Magnet Aerosmith. Sweet Emotion, because the guy wants to.

[John Holmberg]

Hear a real Aerosmith song. That was when they were great.

[Host]

Unleash the Archers. Lamb of God, Mud Vein. Suicidal and Dope. Everything sucks for John Eaton.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, man. Poor guy. You know what we do need to do is a little Aerosmith. Sweet Emotion. Okay, because that is a. That's a banger. For all kinds. That's a ridiculously great song. Musically, vocally. Hey, man. Steven Tyler's first wakakai thrown at us that we all remember together. This is a. An incredible song.

[Host]

Just reminds me of being Dazed and Confused.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And it's every movie this has touched. Every time it's been in anything, you're like, oh, it's. It's borderline perfect. And it's. It's 50. Keep in mind we're playing a song in a second that is 50 years old, and it still holds up. If this were 1975, when sweet emotion first came out, I'd be playing a song from 1925. I don't think a lot of 1925 bangers were still being bragged about sound quality. Exactly. That's right. It sure is. Myself to be outside the sun is shining and there's girls everywhere and I can't touch them. I can't touch the girls or I get in trouble. Cause God's watching. Nothing like that. I found a red rubber ball and I bounced it around. That's the new one from that guy from 1925. And it still holds up here in the 70s. Anyway. This one does, though. If this got released today, now they can say a lot of things from 1925 released in 75 would have still held up. But, man, 75 to today. This one. It's there. Opening note. This is good as they get. And then they went and they slit their throats with that Armageddon song. Borderline. Saudi Arabia did this whole deal. Sweet Emotion. I'm gonna let it go. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He head fully erected.