10-02-25 - BR - THU - Holiday Inn Testing New Scent Alarm Clocks - 22yo Man Enrolls In Minn HS As A 17yo But Brady Got Story Wrong - Annual Drive Thru Efficiency Study

Summary

Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness (98 KUPD) – October 2, 2025
Episode: "Holiday Inn Testing New Scent Alarm Clocks, 22yo Man Enrolls in Minn HS, and Annual Drive Thru Efficiency Study"
Date: October 2, 2025

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Episode Overview

This episode of "Holmberg's Morning Sickness" blends irreverent humor, social commentary, and the latest news with the show’s signature banter. The core team—John Holmberg (Host), Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo—explore odd news stories, ridicule modern trends, and debate among themselves, often derailing into comic tangents. Topics include a listener feud, cultural trauma, weird inventions (like scent-based alarm clocks), an adult enrolling in a Minnesota high school, and a breakdown of fast food drive-thru studies.

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Key Discussions & Insights

1. Listener Feud: “Ernie, the Lunatic”

• [00:00–03:00] John reads hostile, taunting emails from a long-time critic named Ernie.
  • Highlights the disconnect and name-calling Ernie uses (“you little cupcake… you’re a pussy, snowflake,” Ernie writes).
  • Holmberg: “Let’s just keep it respectful because in the past you've kind of gone off the rails.”
• John questions Ernie labeling him a “gay communist Trumpist”:
  • Quote [01:21]: “What is a gay communist Trump supporter? And if you say me, it’s an unfair answer. Please define that.” – John
• Holmberg notes, “Thanks for all the listening hours you’re putting into the station. Love me or hate me... that’s money in my pocket and I like it.” [07:17]

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2. Generational Trauma & the Zuni Listener’s Letter

• [01:45–05:00] Jay, a Zuni listener, writes in, dismissing the way modern Americans talk about generational trauma.
  • Jay: “These modern-day white kids ... don’t have any idea what generational trauma is about. My Zuni people have endured historical trauma from the American government, the Mexican government and the Spanish.”
• Holmberg riffs on how the Spanish showed up with horses—something unheard of for Native Americans before.
  • “It would be like Mordor showing up at your house today..." – John [04:56]

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3. National Produce Misting Day & Social Commentary

• [08:32–09:50] Brady and John mock “National Produce Misting Day” as an example of society’s need for useless comfort.
  • “That’s a tough day, keeping that veg fresh. That’s Nathan Sutherland’s catchphrase.” – John, referring to a local scandal for comedic effect.
• “Conjuring up more crap to make this soft ass world feel at ease.” – Quoting Jay, the Zuni listener [03:37]

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4. Odd Fun Facts

• [11:04–14:14]
  • The Pringles mascot’s real name is Julius Pringles [11:18]
  • The Canary Islands are named after dogs, not birds [11:28]
  • A Canadian hunter made dentures from a deer’s teeth [12:01]
  • John recalls a Craig Kilborn Daily Show bit about a man who made teeth out of rocks, poking fun at DIY dentistry.

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5. Holiday Inn's Scent-Based Alarm Clocks

• [15:23–17:04]
  • Holiday Inn Express is piloting alarm clocks that wake guests with scents: coffee, bacon, blueberry muffin (Australia, NZ), nashi pear (Japan), mango (Singapore, Thailand).
  • “Anything’s better than the smell of the Holiday Inn.” – John [15:33]
  • Brady notes there’s a plan to tie scents to the available breakfast.
  • John’s take: the letdown when there’s no real bacon after the clock's scent goes off: “What a disappointment it’s going to be… and then there isn’t any.” [16:30]

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6. 22-Year-Old Enrolls in Minnesota High School Scandal

• [17:04–24:52]
  • A man in his early 20s enrolled in White Bear Lake High School claiming to be 17.
  • Quote: "You're bigger now. You can play some sports." – John jokes [17:23]
  • Confusion over the exact age (22 vs. 24); Brady initially gives conflicting reports, leading to playful chastising and fact-checking.
    • “You just made it up and then you stood behind it.” – John [19:12]
  • Holmberg finds photos online despite Brady's claim none are released. “Just making things up.” [21:11]
  • The team riffs on why adults impersonate teens, referencing past similar cases (Ohio’s 24yo soccer player).
  • Brady admits, “According to a new survey. I said 24.” John: “I know he's 22.” [24:18]
  • Dick (Toledo) defends Brady, noting that multiple news stories about adult imposters may have been conflated. [29:34]

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7. Annual Fast Food Drive Thru Efficiency Study

• [26:05–27:43]
  • Taco Bell is fastest (4:16), followed by KFC and Arby’s.
    • “Arby’s gets it done because nobody’s ever there.” – John [26:38]
  • Slowest: Chick-fil-A (7:06) and McDonald’s.
  • Accuracy: Burger King/Wendy’s score highest in accuracy (88%), Chick-fil-A praised by the crew.
  • “Drive-throughs with AI only get about 83% of the orders right.” [27:38]
  • Debate on why In-N-Out isn’t higher given their limited menu.

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8. Miscellaneous Survey Data & Odd News

• [14:29, 38:00, Interspersed]
  • Over half of Americans believe the government will reopen by end of October (re: shutdown). [14:29]
  • 33% of adults use AI to help buy gifts. [20:00]
  • 19% of music festival-goers admit to sex at the festival, 38% of those with a stranger [25:24]
  • Howard Johnson celebrates 100 years with “fried clam soap.” Team makes off-color jokes about the concept. [29:04]

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9. Viral Videos: From Golf Cart Wrecks to Bizarre Porn

• [30:31–41:22]
  • Video: Child-packed golf cart crashes into a band during home concert. [30:31]
    • “White people, 7-year-old drive rich… Rich white people buy golf carts to drink and drive.” – John
  • Video: Bouncer at Baltimore bar chokes out a college kid in a fight over a girl.
    • “You don't tap out. It's... not a sport when lunatics attack you.” – John [34:00]
    • John claims “The Natural” is really about how women can interfere with greatness (satirical take).
  • Medical oddities and disturbing “videos”: bullet extraction from a man’s skull, protester mowed down by water hose while on a bike, a woman with “hefty bag breasts,” Asian erotic videos involving milk, women puking on each other.
  • Jokes abound about how the show’s video segment keeps getting stranger.
    • “The videos get just weirder and weirder. Puking in each other's mouths and then smiling about it. I'd start fighting you, too.” – John [41:18]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote/Context | |-----------|---------|---------------| | 01:21 | John | "What is a gay communist Trump supporter? And if you say me, it's an unfair answer. Please define that." | | 03:37 | Jay (read by John) | "Conjuring up more crap to make this soft ass world feel at ease." | | 04:56 | John | "It would be like Mordor showing up at your house today..." (on horses arriving to indigenous people) | | 07:17 | John | "Love me or hate me… that's money in my pocket and I like it." (to the hate-listening Ernie) | | 11:18 | Brady | "Julius Pringles." (Pringles mascot named) | | 15:33 | John | “Anything’s better than the smell of the Holiday Inn.” (on scent alarm clocks) | | 16:30 | John | “What a disappointment it’s going to be… and then there isn’t any.” (on scent without substance) | | 19:12 | John | "You just made it up and then you stood behind it." (ribbing Brady about age confusion) | | 21:11 | John | "Here it is. Kyler Murray. He does look like Kyler Murray now..." (after finding a photo Brady claimed didn't exist) | | 24:52 | John | "These are news stories, you're asking to be fact checked. These aren't opinions." | | 26:38 | John | "Arby's gets it done because nobody's ever there." | | 29:04 | John | "I don't like grandma and the word clam in the same sentence." (Howard Johnson gifts) | | 34:00 | John | "You don't tap out. It's... not a sport when lunatics attack you." (on bar fight) | | 41:18 | John | "The videos get just weirder and weirder. Puking in each other's mouths and then smiling about it. I'd start fighting you, too." |

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:00–03:00 – Email feud with “Ernie”, defining “gay communist Trumpist”
• 03:00–06:00 – Letter from Jay (Zuni listener), generational trauma riff
• 08:30–09:50 – National Produce Misting Day, veg jokes
• 11:04–14:14 – Pringles trivia, DIY dentistry stories
• 15:23–17:04 – Scent-based alarm clocks at Holiday Inn
• 17:04–24:52 – Adult enrolls in HS saga, fact-checking Brady’s age claims
• 26:05–27:43 – Fast food drive-thru speed & accuracy stats
• 29:04 – Howard Johnson “fried clam soap” anniversary
• 30:31–41:22 – Viral videos: golf cart crash, bar fight, odd medical and gross-out videos

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Conclusion

This episode highlights what fans love about “Holmberg’s Morning Sickness”: punchy, raw commentary, playful fact-checking, provocative humor, and an unfiltered dive into weird, offbeat news. Even the mundane—like drive-thru times or scent alarm clocks—is turned into fodder for sarcasm and debate. The group’s chemistry keeps the laughs rolling whether they're unpacking listener emails (“Ernie, the lunatic”), lampooning current events, or just giving each other a hard time.

Listeners can expect a comedic rollercoaster, a few uncomfortable moments, and a take-no-prisoners approach to the day’s oddest headlines.

Transcript

[A]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP guns.com your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. Still streaming Homberg's morning sickness [e-mail] before we get to the Brady Report, I've already heard from Ernie, the guy that I said has been getting blocked for three years, but not by me. And basically what I said was he's, you know, potentially reading some of these old emails, maybe unhinged, who knows, we might have to get the authorities involved. And I said I'd have a civil conversation with him, but the second it turns into name calling and personal attacks, it's not civil and it's annoying. He fires back. Holmberg. You can't see it right now, but I'm laughing my ass off. I challenge you to call the popo. Bring it on. Everyone in my repair shop knows I despise you, you little cupcake. No fear. You're a pussy, snowflake. I'll be in touch. Well, see, like one email earlier, I said, I'll let you know anything you want to know and we can talk about whatever. Let's just keep it respectful because in the past you've kind of gone off the rails. And he called me names. The next email, like I was more than willing to open this.

[B]

Don't think they'll be nice to.

[A]

I don't know. You know, look, I'm willing to have that dialogue. He thinks I'm a gay communist Trumpist. I don't even know what that is. That's my first question to you. What is a gay communist Trump supporter? And if you say me, it's an unfair answer. Please define that. Understand that I don't get how I can be all those things. They seem contradictory. Not the gay communist part, because that would be a left leaning thing. And if you're hating Trump, you should be happy that you think I'm gay. Maybe a little disappointed in me going so far to be communist, but also communist and supporting Trump. I don't know that you can do that. That's some serious political gymnastics. I'll try. I want to give everybody free health care. Free, free, free. Also free loan. It just, it doesn't sound right coming out of his mouth. And speaking of coming out of his mouth, the gay thing. Let's get into that. Why does it matter if you think I'm gay or not? I just want to know those. Don't call me names. That's silly. Then I got an email from a guy I like that Jay says Holmberg. My name is Jonas. Dun dun dun dun dun dun. That's a Weezer song. My name is Jonas. I'm a 40 year old Zuni native engine. He wrote it. He wrote it. I didn't say it. He wrote it. I n J U n. That's him. A Mizzou ni native engine from northern Arizona. I've been working down here in the valley for years now. Love listening to the morning sickness and general generational trauma is a bunch of bs. These modern day white kids and just kids in general don't have any idea what generational trauma is about. My Zuni people have endured historical trauma from the American government, the Mexican government and and the Spanish floated over here and did it too. Generational trauma. Our native ancestors always had that warrior teacher to say, hey, we are down and out for now, but we have to keep on the road and finish the journey. Stay strong, find a way, dust off and keep on keeping on. Is that an Indian phrase? Keep on keeping on? I didn't know the original. They brought that on. I thought that was Bonnie Franklin from One Day at a Time. Got to keep on keeping on.

[B]

She ripped it off.

[A]

She ripped it off. Well, why did he do that?

[B]

Yep.

[A]

So that's what these modern day peoples lack. Actual guidance in a real world and truth and for instructions in life. The modern day world makes up a bunch of BS these days. A good example of this is when each day is a national this or that day. Conjuring up more crap to make this soft ass world feel at ease. Come on, Big Red radio always on blast. Have a great day. My name is Jonas. I'm carrying the world. He's right. Every time if you're white and every time you think things are tough generationally for what's going on, think of a Zuni. They were minding their own business. People floated over to beat them up and they didn't even know they were here. They came over and found them and were like, well, we'll just beat them up.

[B]

What's this about?

[A]

Yeah. And we thought this was empty. No. Welcome. Would you like some vegetables? No. I'm gonna kick your ass. I'm gonna take your vegetables and I'm gonna eat whatever I want. Bring out the turkey, by the way. What's that? Oh, the mighty bison. We're killing all of them.

[B]

Like you like what you've done with your yard. We're gonna take it.

[A]

That's mine. Yeah, you weren't using it right. Hey, I've killed off all the mighty bison. Yeah, we Told you we're gonna do that. We're bored. We're Spain. We're leaving. See ya. We are. Mexico. Oh, no, not again. And then when Mexico left the Amer, then a bunch of whites showed up. You want to talk about generational trauma? Prior to the Spanish conquistadors, the Indians didn't had never seen a horse. It would be like Mordor showing up at your house today, like, what the hell is this? And that's the Spanish guy. Not to mention his ride. I don't know what the Indians were doing before getting from A to B, but it wasn't horses. I'm guessing javelina. What was their mode of transportation?

[B]

By foot?

[A]

They just hoofed it. Yep. Then the Spaniards came over and showed him horses. Horrifying. If you've never seen anything like that, can you imagine?

[B]

It's like rolling over you like this Ferrari.

[A]

What is that? Remember when you were a little kid, the first time you were next to a horse and you got all weak and started to cry? Every kid did. No kid ever walked up to a horse the first time and went, awesome, Easy. It scares you now.

[B]

Then they were coming back and it's like, we should have never introduced them.

[A]

The horse they've mastered and they got really good at him. But a dude knocks on your door with a metal hat on and you look outside and he's got an elephant and it's the first time you've ever seen it. You're like, we're going to lose this fight. We are way behind already. And I just met this cat. Saber tooth tigers. I mean, imagine what if they had mastered riding something like that and just showed up at your house like, somebody's here, honey, are we expecting anyone? He's my Indian family. Are we expecting anyone? No. Get out the intamins and then swing the door over. Hi, I'm from Spain. What the hell is that? It's a horse. Jesus Christ. What's on your head? Giant steelhead helmet. We got bad intentions. Generational trauma. Indians win. White girl screaming about that because she doesn't like her genitals. That'll be up on the podcast, I'm sure shortly. You can listen to that whole segment again of that white girl complaining that she's generationally traumatized. That's why she drinks and drives. I don't get people, but I certainly don't get that guy that's going to Ernie. Ernie the lunatoon. If you know Ernie and you work with him, calm him down a little bit. So, Ernie, nothing can be this important. And by the way, Ernie, for a guy you despise, thanks for all the listening hours that you're putting into the station. I appreciate it. Love me or hate me, them dreams. That's money in my pocket and I like it. It's time for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. And that's called the Brady Report. It's brought to you by allproshade.com. you want shade in your yard? Well, they've got it. And they'll do it professionally and they'll actually enhance your proper values instead of just slapping up something you drive by. All those old places, they got those ugly old awnings that are hanging off the edge or they're metal or they look like garbage. That ain't happening. All pro. Shade makes it match your house. They make it awesome. They actually have a design team that comes up and make sure it looks the way it's supposed to. They'll kill the glare on that TV, drop the temperature 20 degrees. And like Brady said yesterday, as it gets a little cooler outside, that actually provides a little warmth in that area. If you got a little heater and something. Oh, my God. It's. It's good every direction. If you've got a spot in your backyard that you're like. We'd use a lot more if it was shadier, well, there's the place to go. AllProchade.com Best in the business for a reason, Brady reported.

[B]

Good Thursday morning to you, Phoenix.

[A]

Hello, world. Hi.

[B]

Happy national produce misting day. Nut veg fresh.

[A]

Jeez, Jay was right.

[C]

Scrape the bottom of the barrel for that one or.

[A]

Yeah, that's a tough day, keeping that veg fresh. That's Nathan Sutherland's catchphrase.

[B]

Couple of basis fun facts.

[A]

That's rude. We all shouldn't be laughing as quietly. Come on, man. What are you doing in there, Nathan? I'm just watering her. Well, why? Gotta keep the veg fresh. Nathan, you hilarious. You gonna have my baby. Somebody said. How would Rico Blaze have handled that binary girl? Hey, little mama. We gonna get you all taken care of here. Just start talking about what you need. I'm traumatized by generational problems. I have generational trauma. I don't know what that means, but it makes me hard as a rock, girl. Oh, Regal Blaze likes what he sees here. A little confused angel who's got a drinking problem. I'm looking at you right now, and you may call yourself binary, but I know for a fact you got Pinary downstairs that I'm Gonna start knocking around. You wanna make a video with me? We'll call it Bitches in Neutral and we gonna shift them Gears. All right? I don't identify as a girl or a boy. That's all right. I don't care. I identify a solver and a hole filler. You can identify as what you want. I identify vagina and I take care of business. You're gonna have generational pipe trauma in a little bit. Please call me them. All right, then. That's how Rico would handle it. He still nailed her because she was fat and white. And Rico liked that. Oh, yeah. Show me your boy side. What do you mean rollover? You binary. I'm doing this twice. Morning sickness. Holmberg's morning sickness. Thanks for that. Tamara.

[B]

The cartoon guy on the can of Pringles has a name.

[A]

It's Dave. It is? No, we've talked about this. I can't remember what it is. Riley P. Riley P. Stickum. There you go. I think that's it. It's Riley P. Stick him. Am I right?

[B]

Julius Pringles.

[A]

That's right. It was that Julius Pringles. He's a. He's a power forward for the Knicks. No way. That's Julius Randall, and he traded him to Minnesota.

[B]

The Canary Islands are named after dogs, not birds. The king from the country of Mauritania named them Canary Insulae, which translate from. From Latin. Translates from Latin to the island of Dogs, because a lot of large dogs live there.

[A]

Which is one of the better movies I've ever watched in my life. Isle of Dogs, which, if you say it right, I love dogs. Great movie. Bryan Cranston and Bill Murray. Phenomenal.

[B]

Famous Canadian hunter named Francis Wharton shot a deer in the late 1960s. Francis didn't have teeth, so he made dentures out of the deer's own teeth.

[A]

Oh, God. I gotta see a picture of that. Don't deer have kind of big teeth?

[B]

They're all molars.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But I don't.

[A]

But they're all squared, like to grind up like grass. Right. They don't have incisors, so it would just be, like, smaller.

[B]

Like horse teeth.

[A]

Do we have a photo of this? Yes. I remember when Craig Kilborn hosted the Daily show when it first came on. Craig Kilborn, who was one of my favorites. And they would always do a story like Human interest, and it was hilarious. They found a guy in Montana that was afraid of dentistry. But his teeth started to rot out, so he pulled all his own teeth, and he was. He would polish rocks and he Went out and found rocks and shaped them into teeth and jammed them into the holes that the old teeth used to be in. And he had rocks for teeth and they looked pretty good. But while he's talking like they'd fall out and he'd jam them back into the glue. Wouldn't hold. Every day. He had to do it every day. So then he made like a bridge for it.

[B]

You have to put away.

[A]

He made dentures. Well, he couldn't drill himself. He. He had to do the work. And so they talk about that I can't actually put like I can't drill into the bone.

[C]

Doesn't believe in dentistry, but believes in poly grip.

[A]

He did and it actually works. At first he was just popping rocks into the holes. Then he made a whole mouthful of teeth and he put like braces on the back. It was really. But I don't know how you eat. So these are deer teeth that you're looking at here. And the dude made a mouth of them. Huh? Oh man. Man his. Can you. When the dentist does some work on your teeth and he makes you bite down on that little piece of carbon, imagine how his jawline was. There was never a good bite again. No. And he just jammed him down. He's tearing with those maulers roots and all. How do you do that?

[B]

Did he file him down?

[A]

But how do you get them to stay?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yuck.

[B]

Nails.

[A]

One at a time. Teeth love nails. Everyone knows it. Nothing the tooth handles better than driving a penny nail through it into your gums. Just go to the dentist or be toothless.

[B]

It's day two of the government shutdown and someone pulled over 3,000Americans and asked them, how long do you think it'll last? Over half of us think the government will open back up before the end of October.

[A]

Yeah, probably. I don't know.

[B]

That includes one in six. It said by the end of the week. Common answer, two weeks.

[A]

I don't know what's going to happen. I don't know why it's happening. I get the reasons why people are upset, but seems like we should be able to do something about this. By the way, I just got an email. It says will you stop referring to them as horses? The Spaniards brought over Equus Ferris Cabalis. Signed John Eaton. I'm sorry John, you're right, I. I didn't go with the Latin scientific name of Equus.

[C]

I was worried he might not be listening this morning.

[A]

You're right, Eaton. My bad.

[B]

Holiday Inn Express is testing new scent based alarm clocks. It works Like a diffuser releasing the scent of your choice when it's time to wake up.

[A]

Anything's better than the smell of the Holiday Inn. I suppose.

[B]

They're trying it out different options in different countries. Australia and New Zealand guests can pick options like coffee, bacon, blueberry muffin. In Japan, you can choose the nashi pear. In Singapore and Thailand, mango is an option.

[A]

You know what? I'm more rolling it out in the US they have a Holiday Inn in Japan.

[B]

People need their sleep.

[A]

There's a lot of elves in that is what I'm saying. Horror day in sounds horrible. But then bacon is obviously the go to. Everybody's going to pick bacon. Who wants to get out of bed though, if that's what the smell is, especially if it's artificial. But blueberry muffin, I guess baking muffin smells good.

[B]

They're guessing in the US not only coffee and bacon would be popular, but donuts, apple pie, pizza, popcorn, pig stuff, barbecue, smoke.

[C]

This is your list?

[A]

Yeah, this is. Brandon Brady sent us the top 10 things you'd like to but what a disappointment it's going to be after the clock sends out the scent and then there isn't any.

[B]

Yeah, mostly I. They did mention that they'll put it up in a lot of the locations where they have pre breakfast included in me.

[A]

All right. Yeah, but then you got to go down and eat buffet bacon that other holiday and travelers powdered eggs been breathing on for hours. No, thanks. The COVID line of breakfast.

[B]

Families are up in arm and in Minnesota because at White Bear Lake High School they're outraged after finding out that someone enrolled in the school who claimed to be 17 years old falsified some documents.

[A]

How old?

[B]

24.

[C]

Why do they want to go back?

[A]

You're bigger now. You can play some sports.

[B]

Well, the families are upset because he's praying on the.

[A]

No, he's trying to get go. If you're trying to date, it's.

[C]

I wasn't thinking like that.

[A]

You want to go back and lay some thunder down on some of those high school kids on the basketball court now that you got a little life experience?

[B]

They're investigating it. They're, you know, they're also. The parents want the principal, Russell Reese to be held accountable for this and fired.

[A]

Did the guy look 17?

[B]

Haven't. They haven't released a picture of him or how long he was at the school. Could have been too long because if he started this year.

[A]

Where was it?

[B]

A month or two? White Bear Lake. It's in Minnesota.

[A]

Interesting. I'm Trying to see if there's a picture. I can't see it. Man. 20. It says he was 22. Here. You said 20, and then.

[B]

Yeah, there were reports of a 22 year old post. But then, see later, it could be up to 24.

[A]

Huh.

[B]

They're. They haven't confirmed either one.

[A]

They haven't or you haven't?

[B]

The people investigating know the age, but 22?

[A]

It's the eighth story in a row I've seen that says he's 22.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I'm just saying. I'm not attacking you. It's just I don't know where you got 24.

[B]

In my mind, I think I was.

[A]

It on the paper.

[B]

I don't know if 22 is on there. And then that's strange.

[A]

You just made it up and then you stood behind it. Just say that right now. I made it up. And then I thought, no.

[B]

It started off with saying it was 24.

[C]

No, you did so Schwartz laser. I said is the one might be time.

[A]

And then you doubled down on it. The investigators aren't sure is what he said. You went to like the ultimate lie. The investigators haven't confirmed it yet. Yeah, they have. Well, they haven't confirmed that you said it.

[B]

We'll find out when they.

[A]

No, we know already. You're the only one who said 24 and then you doubled down.

[B]

I'm seeking by 24.

[A]

I got a nine and a ace and the dealer's show and a five. Hit me.

[C]

And you're not gonna be here Monday. Can we have you call in and do this?

[A]

Yeah. No. Yeah, but this is gonna be tough now. Brett will find his way around.

[C]

Brett, can we knock you in the head or something?

[A]

I can't compete. I like that you. I like that you stuck to your guns, though. It's nowhere on this paper. But the investigators have yet to confirm what I said is wrong. Well, they don't need to wait. But they haven't done it.

[B]

Challenge.

[A]

I challenge you. He's 22. All right. They did it. It's a confirmed. My made up number was incorrect.

[C]

John, how long ago was Brady's surgery? I think he's still under anesthesia.

[A]

He was under anesthesia for about 12 years before.

[B]

According to a new poll of 2,000 US adults, 33% of them use AI as an assistant. Assistant. To help them buy gifts for other people. Gift advice. And they say it's pretty impressive.

[A]

Holmberg's morning sickness. Holmberg's morning sickness. Holmberg's morning sickness.

[C]

Everything AI does is pretty impressive.

[A]

I hate to do this to Brady because he said they hadn't released a photo yet. There's the picture again. Just making things up.

[B]

That one I didn't see.

[A]

They have yet to release a photograph. Here it is. Kyler Murray. He does look like Kyler Murray now. He was playing some football. He went in there to play some football. Harry is on the team. They even have photos of him playing football. Maybe I'll release a photo.

[B]

School officials and police have not publicly identified the person involved or shared details about their time as a student. The incident remains under investigation. That's what I had.

[A]

There's loads of pictures of this guy. I was wrong. I figured it was going to be a. A smaller, like a weak guy who got a little bit of size to him. He's looks like a decent size tomb. He's short, so I guess you could pass the 17, but I wouldn't have guessed dominating football looking at that picture. I'd be like, yeah, that's about right. Seventeen seems about right.

[B]

There's been high schools that tried to bring people in that were over age.

[A]

Oh sure. Oh boy. Ernie's emailed back. You can dish it out, but you can't take it. Quit the whining. You've met your match. I live for this. Politics throws flows through my veins. No conspiracy theories, only the tooth truth. Pobrecito. I don't know what that means.

[C]

Poor thing.

[A]

Oh, is that what that is in Spanish? You know that? Yeah, you've been told that a lot. Is that right? As the cuck pays. He'll be done soon. Don't worry. Pobrecito. He says he's unstoppable. I'm not looking to stop you, man. I'm not in a fight with you. You're in a fight with me. That I'm not going to have to start talking.

[C]

You can't just start throwing things out about how best you.

[A]

I'm not whining. I just said don't. Don't get into. I find you to be less than intelligent. When you start calling me the homo F word or any sort of names, then it's not a talk. It's just you screaming at the air.

[C]

Start spouting your accolades without any.

[A]

So that's just all I'm. All I'm saying is just being, you know, have a point without saying you're homo. Okay.

[B]

There'S another survey about.

[A]

What's that? Fighting with Tucker Carlson over here. What is this? He's okay and I'm not interested that much in Politics. So if it flows through your veins, good on you. But if it flows through your veins, explain to me what a communist Trump supporter is, because that's where you called me.

[B]

I'm a little upset at you.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

I mean, the fact I do. You know my stories and then you fact check me.

[A]

I didn't fact check. I just said I was looking for a picture to see if you're talking about. No, no, that's John Eaton you're talking about. He's not. He's. You got to get your facts right. This guy didn't ever say anything you're accusing him of. He never said I was fact checking. All I said was, how old was he? Because this says he's 22. And then you, without saying, oh, yeah, he is 22. I miss. And you just said they. You made something up, which made it funnier.

[B]

According to a new survey. I said 24.

[A]

I know he's 22. And we were confused that all the other stories said 22. And when I said, it says here he's 22.

[B]

Because you went back and fact checked.

[A]

No, I looked for a picture because you said, get your phone ready, Brady.

[B]

Here's the Whatever I say.

[A]

All right, let me just tell Brady how the world works. Your stories are from yesterday. Yeah, yesterday. So in the time that that was written, there's a chance they had released a photo. So in the interest of getting the interesting story to be more interesting, I could say, oh, they've since released a photo, but it said here, I'm making.

[B]

Sure you said there's photos all over the place.

[A]

Well, now, afterwards, then I found that there's photos all over the place. But prior to that, when you had told me that investigators hadn't decided on how old he was, despite clearly having decided on hold he was. That wasn't fact checking. And besides that, you're saying that these are news stories you're asking to be fact checked. These aren't opinions.

[B]

According to the new survey of music festivals, one of the questions was, have you ever had sex at a music festival?

[A]

Gross.

[B]

What do you think the percentage was? 30 of people said yes.

[A]

Probably like 60 something.

[B]

60?

[A]

Yeah, I think a lot of people.

[B]

25, 30, 19.

[A]

Yeah, I figured it was.

[C]

Oh, no, you went over.

[A]

People have, like, music festivals are the ones that last all day. The Porta John's get used for dirty, horrible things.

[B]

The 19 that had sex at the music festival, 38 of those people said it was with a stranger.

[A]

No kidding. Hook up right there, huh? I'd have figured that would have been at least a lot of people lying and saying oh yeah, no, I nailed some chicks there and get that number way up there.

[B]

In touch. Insight released its annual drive thru study. And despite AI's help and drive thru fast food this year the average is 5 minutes and 35 seconds. That's 9 seconds more than it was last year. The fastest was Taco Bell at 4 minutes and 16 seconds. KFC came next at 4. 21 Arby's. 432.

[A]

Arby's gets it done because nobody's ever there. They don't have a lot of Arby's in years. They don't have a lot of crowd. So they can get your order real fast. We got one lickety split. They're like a pit crew in a nascar. They'll get you through it. They say who last places or the bottom? The busy ones, McDonald's and the the ones that have actual Chick Fil a getting busy.

[B]

7 minutes, 6 seconds.

[A]

Chick fil A has people outside to control the lines.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Those are the ones are going to take a few more minutes. Dutch brothers the same way. All that talking. How's your day? And I'm not mad at Dutch brothers. I'm just mad at the people that are willing to park their car in the middle of a actual street to wait in line.

[B]

Wait, not counting coffee chains. Is that Burger King and Wendy's ranked first in accuracy getting 88% of their orders right?

[C]

I don't know. Chick Fil A usually gets everything right.

[A]

Seem like too hard to do.

[B]

They say drive throughs with AI only get about 83% of the orders right.

[A]

That's just because it started and it's already 5%. It's only 5% behind, right? You'd think in and out would probably be that because they got like four items on the menu. I mean it's like how do you screw that one up?

[C]

People order off that secret restaurant.

[A]

There's that.

[C]

John, I for one would like to thank your show for turning my health around.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

I will fight forever to keep both of my kidneys after hearing Brady and his bitchy one kidney self. Just turn it around in a month. Yeah, screw you.

[A]

I've only got one kidney.

[B]

This year's the hundredth anniversary of Howard Johnson the brand.

[A]

No, I thought you meant the third basement for the Mets.

[B]

So the Howard Johnson hotel and restaurant chain is celebrating a century of business by releasing a limited edition. This is the gift for grandma. Fried clam soap.

[A]

Soap made of real clam.

[B]

It's It's a nod to that fried clam strip basket.

[A]

Wait a minute. Why is grandma involved in the fried clam?

[B]

Well, because it's a hunt Howard Johnson's most.

[A]

But I don't like grandma and the word clam in the same sentence.

[B]

So the soap has been infused with lemon, sea salt and a hint of butter.

[A]

People are going to eat it. Good. Yeah, I'm with you on that fat.

[B]

American coconut gift for grandma. It's 1995, on sale [e-mail] 100.

[A]

I think I heard my grandpa say that to my grandma. Let's get a little soap on that fried clam. Oh, God. What if I just use fried clam soap? Whatever. Wash it, John.

[C]

I'm not. I can't believe I'm doing this defending Brady, but I think Pop Pop mixed up some info.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

If you do read that article, which I just did read one of the 12 that I found. Also in it, it says that they call out the 24 year old guy who was caught in Ohio back in January pretending to be 17 to play soccer.

[A]

Is it in your story?

[C]

The two stories.

[B]

But this is what it was. But the part that I printed out left that part out because I didn't.

[A]

Think, oh, you had a different story. I see. That's why it doubled down. But it was a good lie. It's what I used to do with Tony Romis when they'd say, how come we didn't get any bread and they got bread. I'm like, oh, you have to ask for it. It's a health code violation for me to just bring bread out to everybody. Which was an immediate lie. There was nothing about that that was true. And you just said authorities haven't confirmed his age yet, which was an immediate lie. It was a fantastic one. But unfortunately, it was easy. Easily debunked.

[B]

The first one is a golf cart gone rogue. Live band playing on the stage. But the. The song that they chose is perfect.

[A]

It's okay. So we're band playing on stage.

[B]

All of your cold fries.

[A]

They're not playing. No, they're not. Flip that over. But a golf cart filled with adorable white children crashes through a stage of musicians.

[C]

Boy, it does have a load of kids in it.

[A]

The guy's drunk. That's why he's not driving a real car. That's why white people, 7 year old drive rich. Look at the houses back there. Rich white people buy golf carts to drink and drive. That's. Yeah, that's exactly what they do. I know. That's a gorgeous home. And this dude is drunk. And he decided to take his kids down to the lake that's on the property. And he crashed after hiring the band to play. He probably didn't. He's a guest who got to use the golf cart. Okay, so he stuffed his little toe headed kids in there and accidentally drove him into the Dave Matthews cover band. This is the Cars for Kids band. Look at all them idiots.

[C]

He's got a stage in his front yard.

[A]

Honey, honey. What did they hire the jets to do? The backyard performers. There's 20 of them.

[B]

Another good reference.

[A]

Look him up. 80s. Yeah, there were too many Jets. Morning sickness. Holmberg's morning sickness. It's like the barges Debarges. Looked, everyone. How many jets do you need? There's like nine Debarges. And you've doubled us. What do you acquire?

[B]

All right, this last one's a bouncer that chokes out a college kid at a. At a bar in Baltimore.

[A]

All right, Bouncer is huge. And the college kid is not.

[B]

And it bows up.

[A]

Oh, he bows up. Chokes the boy. He's got the boy in a chokehold. And he is now walking him to the side of his girlfriend.

[B]

He's tapping out.

[A]

He's trying to tap out, but he doesn't realize it's not the ufc. There are no rules when you decide to do this.

[B]

It's good.

[A]

I'm good. You're going to sleep, kid. No tap outs. It's not even a good chokehold, by the way. He's just strangling.

[B]

It's hard to put him to sleep. Well, permanently.

[A]

He's strangling him. He hangs him and rams his head into the side of it. Breaks the glass of a car window.

[C]

So he's been.

[A]

And he's still choking him.

[C]

Bouncer's been arrested.

[A]

It was a little far. Yeah. Because that is not a professional group.

[B]

Hub issued an apology that we hired the security company.

[A]

I'll tell you this, if you're a lawyer, it's an easy win because the white kid hits the bouncer first. He assaults the bouncer, bumps him, chest bumps him, push his hand up on him. So, yeah, maybe the club can fire him. But if I'm that bouncer, it'd be like, hey, I'm high. This guy took a move at me. But you have to learn how to do a chokehold because you could have killed him. That was just a. You're just wrenching his neck and strangling him. That was kind of interesting to watch, though, because that's why would you bow up to that dude in the first place? Just because you can't get into the club? I know exactly why. And once again, it was that hot girl he was standing next to watching the guy she'd chosen for the night fail miserably at the door. And he had his ego checked, or.

[B]

So he decided to step outside of the bar.

[A]

I don't know that maybe, but you have to go.

[B]

It looks to me, coming back in.

[A]

The girl was watching her current bow. Her date get. Whatever was going on wasn't going well, and he was embarrassed because he had a hot girl with him and he looked like he was losing.

[B]

And the other guys, the guys filming was enjoying it at first.

[A]

And he's like, bro, he's tapping out. You don't tap out. It's what people don't understand. It's a react defense thing all the time. It's not a sport when lunatics attack you and you can tap them all you want. They're trying to kill you. They don't have a referee or a few seconds to think about it when they've got you in a chokehold and you're like, no, that's it. Game over. No, they're. They're. That's not how it works. Stupid people. Yeah, we were talking about this off the air earlier. The movie is natural. And just like this kid right here was just. All he was doing was like, well, I look like an idiot in front of this hot girl. I better. I better double down on stupid. And he pushed a big black bouncer who doesn't care about you and your current situation. And he did it because he thought that would impress the girl. What's the natural about? Most people say, oh, it's a baseball movie about. No, it's a cautionary tale to. If you're gonna. If you're great at something, never involve yourself with a woman. They'll ruin it. They'll steal your dreams. Roy Hobbs was the greatest baseball player of all time. The Shohei ohtani of the 1930s. He could pitch. He struck out the Whammer, for God's sakes. Yeah, in a cornfield when the Whammer had all the advantages. And he struck him out on three pitches. Max Mercy wrote about it. Should have read it. And then what was Barbara Hershey's other boyfriend? Bump Bailey. Bump Bailey. What happened to him? He lost focus and he ran into a wall and killed himself. Then she took. She put her sights over there on the Roy Hobbs. She ends up shooting him in the belly with a silver bullet. And 18 years later, he's got to make a comeback. They just. That's the thing. If you're great at something, and I mean, like all time goat, what are you doing, man? Barbara Hershey told you the Natural, if it had a byline like the way Electric Boogaloo 2 did, it would say the Natural. Women are no good. That's what that movie's about. And there's plenty of women movies saying men are no good. And they're not wrong either. So before you get on me for the misogyny. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'm telling you, that dude got choked out and smashed into the side of a Subaru because he was with a hot girl. If he was with his mates, that wouldn't have happened.

[B]

And he found his good woman.

[A]

Yeah. And that's the message. It's like, look, the ugly took a while.

[B]

You can take a couple of shots before you find the right woman.

[A]

That ugly broad in your hometown, she's not getting married. She'll be. She'll be waiting for you when your career's over. Go have your fun. And in 18 years, head on back to Podunk, Iowa. And then there she'd be standing. She'll pop up every once in a while, too literally. And then in the end, she's going to come back and go, remember that time you banged me in a barn before you left for your real career? Yeah. We made people time to kick down. And they never really mentioned it, but then the kid looked just like him. And you're like, all right, I'll play catch with it. And that's how the movie ends. I gotta make up for the 18 years of back pay. Or what? That's a better time. There's plenty of movies where women are right, where the dudes are absolutely ruining things. I'm just pointing out what the Natural's about, that's all. Brett, what do you got for videos? All right, we'll start off with a light. Start with a little surgery in the.

[B]

In the field.

[A]

Oh, geez. The guy's got something in the back of his ear and there's a pair of pliers going, what's in the back of this guy's ear? They're pulling out something.

[C]

They're Russian or. Doctor.

[A]

In the back of his ear, it looks like it's long. And a Leatherman. They've got a Leatherman. What is that? Is it a worm? Oh, it's a bullet out of his head. Like a bullet.

[C]

Yeah, that's the right.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. I think that's holy in Russian. You have been shot in the head, comrade. Great work. Look at that. Wow.

[C]

Go home immediately.

[A]

Dude. I thought I felt something in my sleep, but back to work. There's some protesters. Holy. Oh, we're hosing off protesters with one of them big fire hoses. Holy. She decided to try to hold off on a bicycle. And they just mash her face down. She goes like the Schwinn's gonna protect her. What are they? What are they? It's not exactly the best shield a 10 speed.

[B]

She didn't even know what was going on.

[A]

What were they protesting? It doesn't say.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Wow. Well, that was where. I don't care if I was on their side. That was awesome.

[C]

You think she was just there?

[B]

She got caught in the bike ride.

[A]

I thought the bike ride. The streets were already clean enough. You're wasting water. All right. Middle east somewhere. Yeah. Lady walking around, a giant red beekeeper outfit. This might be India. It's one of them. Indiana was a terrible. Just like a Indian elk.

[B]

That's a cow blessing.

[A]

That looks like an Indian elk. I don't know what that was. It picked up some lady just walking around her blown out stone village. Oh, man, she's out. Wow. Yeah. He pushed her into a brick wall. It's the only standing brick wall in her village. Wow. Oh, my God. It's a lady with the largest hefty bag breasts I've ever seen. They're hanging down three feet. Oh, he lifts them up. They've got some wounds underneath. If you were to lift these breasts up, they would go about a 10 inches above her head.

[C]

These are like bed sores underneath.

[A]

Yeah. Now he's. They're smacking them together. I mean, this is about. This is pretty much it. It's fascinating. No big payoff, but her breasts are. She's sitting down and her nipples are touching her knees. And there's a guy just rolling around like he's making a pizza.

[B]

And that's in slow mo.

[A]

Yeah, it was. Yeah, that's what it said.

[B]

Time, slow motion.

[A]

That's fantastic. All right, let's get to the good stuff.

[B]

Milk, anybody?

[A]

Man, Amazing lady firing milk out of her body at her butt. How much milk is in her? She's only like £60. Is this the new Cat's eye video? I really. I enjoy their work. K Pop has taken a turn. Oh, there's a close up. That's way too close. How much milk is in this chick? That's a gallon. She's pumped out a gallon and she seems to be crying.

[B]

Well, they all do.

[A]

That's Asian porn. I've never liked Asian porn. Because every time they start enjoying it, they. And let's just finish with this, okay? Two relatively good looking girls and one's choking the other. That's not a pickle, Brady. Although it looks like it's a. It's a man dildo. It's a wnba. No, this is. Yeah, this is souvenir. This is the locker room of the Las Vegas Aces. After they won the other night to get to the finals.

[B]

Punching.

[A]

Just start punching each other. After they puked on each other and puking all over the place. They put a. You know what the good thing is? Oh. Oh. If you frighten the other one's mouth. Yeah. They're good looking. Yeah. And then they just start hitting each other covered in puke. But the good thing is, is they protected that horrible Wayfair couch they bought. That's nice work, ladies. Keep it clean. Jesus Christmas. What's wrong with these people?

[B]

They responded to an ad. You want to make 400 bucks?

[A]

Yeah, I do. What do I have to do? You got to puke into this girl's mouth and smack each other around. Okay. Have fun with that. All right. There you go. Yeah, I'm with you. The videos get just weirder and weirder. Puking in each other's mouths and then smiling about it. I'd start fighting you, too, but I wouldn't be laughing. There goes your Brady Report. That was weird. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. 98. Can you.