10-03-25 - Brady Report - MIX - Saddam Mustache - Military Easter baskets - Meat Mist - 2003/2022 BO

Summary

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Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Brady Report MIX (10-03-25)

Date: October 3, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogan, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Episode Highlights: Saddam Mustache, Military Easter baskets, Meat Mist, 2003/2022 BO

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Main Theme & Purpose

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness delivers a "Best Of" rerun Brady Report, featuring a lively, irreverent rundown of odd news, cultural tidbits, and comedic observations. The team dives into everything from strip club statistics and bizarre military strategies to beauty trends, science news, and outrageous inventions. True to form, the tone is edgy, playful, and packed with quick-fire banter.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Strip Club Capitals & Tampa Tales

• Portland, Oregon is crowned as the U.S. city with the most strip clubs per capita (one per 11,300 residents).
• Tampa, Florida is a close second.
  • Memorable Tampa Story: John tells a story about Chuck Powell's dad, an innocent man who ended up at Tampa's infamous Mons Venus strip club—and left with new pants after an enthusiastic experience.

    “The girl rubbed him until he wrecked his pants… I've never seen at a strip club before.” — John Holmberg (02:15)

2. Giant Boxed Wine & Water Combo

• House Wine x Essentia Water launched a 6-gallon box with 3 spouts: water, red wine, white wine.
• Unanimous skepticism about the need for—or practicality of—lugging around 48 lbs of liquid.

  “If you have to keep your wine outdoors, you just got free front row tickets to Kentucky’s.” — John Holmberg (04:53)

3. War Updates & Absurd Military Solutions

• General Barry McCaffrey predicts high casualties and warns against 'political wars'.
• Morocco's Kamikaze Monkeys: Reports claim Morocco offers the U.S. 2,000 monkeys trained to clear landmines. The team is horrified yet morbidly fascinated, joking about the aftermath.

  “Man, oh man, that's one of the most horrible things I've ever seen or heard.” — John Holmberg (07:23)

4. Viral Beauty Trend: The “Crying Girl” Makeup

• Influencers teach women to achieve the "just cried" look—red under-eyes, swollen cheeks.
• Hosts discuss why the post-cry look is strangely attractive, tying it back to make-up sex and vulnerability.

  "I think a crying woman is one of the most beautiful things you can create." — John Holmberg (09:02)
  “Nothing says beauty quite like a post domestic violence incident... you're a mess.” — John Holmberg (10:44)

5. Science News: Nose Picking in the Animal Kingdom

• Swiss researchers find 12 primate species pick their noses—including a lemur with a finger long enough to reach through its sinuses.
• Discussion veers into humans eating boogers, supposed cavity-fighting benefits, and disgust at childhood stories.

  “Don’t tell people... Eat them up.” — Brady Bogan & John Holmberg (13:47)
  “That thing Kirby pulled out of her nose 10 years ago… Like Earl Scheib on her finger.” — John Holmberg (14:00)

6. Ozone Layer Update & Environmental Banter

• The hosts reminisce over '80s ozone panic before noting recent studies claim the problem is mostly fixed.
• Spirited speculation about potential damage from rocket launches—are we breaking the atmosphere every time?

  “Every time we leave, aren’t we breaking something?” — John Holmberg (15:41)

7. Yeti Coffin & Super Coolers

• Yeti produces a cooler shaped like a coffin for Halloween, available at auction.
• Brady tested his Yeti cooler: ice lasted a week because he forgot drinks inside.
• The panel questions the practicality unless you’re a Halloween party legend.

  “If you haven’t drained your cooler in seven days, your cooler’s too big.” — John Holmberg (20:06)

8. Saddam Mustache & Lookalikes

• Saddam Hussein’s jeweler reportedly bought millions in diamonds as Saddam faces exile; Uday buys a $750k ring.
• A California man makes good money as a Saddam Hussein lookalike and proudly keeps the mustache, unlike after the last Gulf War.
• The team draws parallels to the now-taboo Hitler mustache.

  “There’s a reason the whole Hitler mustache face went away.” — John Holmberg (22:10)

9. Texas “Meat Mist” – Barbecue in the Air

• Texas BBQ culture has a scientific twist: 10% of air pollutants in barbecue country are meat particles.
• Brady is ecstatic: If you breathe in Texas, you’re breathing meat.

  "You can smell it. There's food. Just when you walk down the street, you just breathe in steak. Oh, baby." — Brady Bogan (23:43)

10. Dangerous and Wacky Innovations

• German retiree’s tragic end: Tries auto-erotic electrode stimulation and dies.
• Japan's "Psalm Onasm Machine": An automated device for hands-free pleasure (for men and women), complete with remote control and anime puns.
• The hosts riff on anime-inspired sex toys—Pussymon, anyone?

  "It's every man's dream. It's the vagina with no body attached." — John Holmberg (25:19)
  “Pussymon. I choose you!” — John Holmberg (26:19)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Portland, Oregon has the most strip clubs per capita in the U.S.”—Brady Bogan (01:57)
• “[Chuck Powell’s dad] lost control inside Mons Venus, wrecked his pants in multiple spots and left them behind.”—John Holmberg (02:21)
• “You got a spot? You can. It’s basically adding—it’s like Arizona rooms used to be, only now they’re not ugly and awful.”—John Holmberg (01:42)
• “I think a crying woman is one of the most beautiful things you can create. Shouldn't have to tell her twice.”—John Holmberg (09:02)
• “Eat them up.”—Brady Bogan (13:49)
• “If you haven’t drained your cooler in seven days, your cooler’s too big.”—John Holmberg (20:06)
• “There’s a reason the whole Hitler mustache face went away. Nobody really wants to look like that guy.”—John Holmberg (22:10)
• “You can smell it. There’s food—just when you walk down the street, you just breathe in steak.”—Brady Bogan (23:43)
• “It’s every man’s dream. It’s the vagina with no body attached.”—John Holmberg (25:19)
• “Pussymon. I choose you!”—John Holmberg (26:19)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 01:57 – Strip club stats & Tampa strip club story
• 03:58 – Boxed wine & water combo product
• 06:04 – War news: casualties & “landmine monkeys”
• 08:24 – The crying makeup trend
• 12:04 – Science news: animals nose picking
• 14:00 – Human booger eating and potential health impacts
• 15:14 – Planet and ozone banter
• 17:47 – Yeti coffin for Halloween
• 20:20 – Saddam’s diamonds & lookalike stories
• 23:33 – Texas “meat air” science
• 24:12 – Death by auto-erotic electrocution
• 24:43 – Automated hands-free sex machine & Pokémon riff

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Tone & Style

• Irreverent and freewheeling: Banter flies fast; crude humor mingles with surprising nuggets of actual news.
• Satirical, edgy, and unfiltered: No sacred cows, with topics ranging from war to bodily functions to sex toys, all with signature sarcasm.
• Natural conversational flow: The hosts riff on each topic, frequently digressing into memorable tangents.

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Summary for New Listeners

If you haven’t heard Holmberg’s Morning Sickness before, this episode is a classic. Rapid-fire wit and absurdity keep the newsroom rolling, from strip club stats to science facts, war weirdness, and adult gadgetry. The team’s chemistry and willingness to poke fun at anything—especially themselves—makes for a lively, laugh-out-loud episode packed with unexpected takes and hilarious one-liners.

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Transcript

[John Holmberg]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP guns.com your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. It's John Holmberg from the morning sickness for lifechangerloan.com Equity it's the amount of value your house has over how much you paid or owe for it. So if I have a house, that's $400,000 and I owe 100,000, I have 300,000 in equity. That's simple math. On average, Life Changer loan clients save $250,000 in interest and pay off their loans in about four, five years. Don't have to do the traditional way anymore. If you're good with money and you got great credit, go to lifechangerloan.com and see the difference for yourself. It's not magic, it's just math. Lifechangerloan.com here's another best of rerun from the morning sickness. It's time now for Brady to give you all the news that no one. We call this the Brady Report. It's brought to you by All Pro Shade Concepts. That's Arizona's best patio shades. We're talking about it. Yesterday a guy said, I got a TV on the back bed. I put an umbrella. But don't. And don't tell me that you've got a better plan than this. The All Pro Shade guys have. They have basically those blockers that come on there. You can put that on the side of the deal and keep away all the sunlight from your tv. If you're gonna have a TV on your patio, make it so you can watch it. Brady did it because he had glare all over his tv. It was completely useless until All Pro Shade came along and made a watchable screen instead of a glare box, which is what he had and a lot of you have as well. AllProchade.com is where you go. They put the awnings in, they come up with a plan for you. If you've got a backyard space you like to use, but the sun's kind of wrecking it. All Pro Shade can fix that. Beautiful, beautiful stuff.

[Brady Bogan]

I was going to say just go to the website because they got a ton of examples of what they can do, right?

[John Holmberg]

They can fix anything.

[Brady Bogan]

Some of the setups are. I mean, you'd never think, oh, how could this work for my patio?

[John Holmberg]

Everything can. You got a spot. You can. It's basically adding. It's like Arizona rooms used to be, only now they're not ugly and awful. They make it great. All prochay.com that's where you go. Brady reported.

[Brady Bogan]

Good Friday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello, world. We've made it.

[John Holmberg]

Hi.

[Brady Bogan]

Portland, Oregon has the most strip clubs per capita in the U.S. whoa. With one for every 11,300 or so residents.

[John Holmberg]

And all their dances are hairy.

[Brady Bogan]

Tampa, Florida, is second.

[John Holmberg]

Tampa's loaded. When we were in Tampa, Mons Venus is a strip mall. You think it's a strip mall? It's just a massive strip club. It's huge. It's about the size of our building. Three times as long. It's just strippers as far as you can see. Chuck Powell's dad went in there once and had to come out with new pants.

[Brady Bogan]

They sell them on the way out.

[John Holmberg]

Go ahead. What happened? Well, he was kicked. He was removed.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, Brett.

[John Holmberg]

Well, the story goes, Chuck's dad went down with Chuck's brother, who was the trainer for the Yankees. Okay. And he was laying on the field during a spring training practice and talking to the guys too much, and he was supposed to just stay in the stands, but he knew he went on the field and he took his shirt off and he laid down his dance. So somebody said, we got to get him out of here, find him something to do in Tampa. They took him down the road to the Mons Venus, and his dad's kind of a religious man. Walked in there and sees these stripping girls, and next thing you know, this girl was on. He didn't show up for anything. Like, four hours later, they couldn't find him. And then they see him walking down the street with different pair of pants on. Like, there he is, but he's wearing different clothes. And he got in the car, and they said, what happened? He said, I don't want to talk about it. The girl rubbed him until he wrecked his pants, and then somebody had to go buy him new pants. They changed him out of the Mons Venus. It was. It's. It's a longer story than that, but he lost control inside there a few times, wrecked his pants in multiple spots and left them behind, which I've never seen at a strip club before. I've seen the guys in the sweatpants walking out with the Aleutian Islands hanging down the edge there. They've done some work, but not a ton. And I feel sorry for the strippers who have to rub up against those Middle Easterners in the middle of the day.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, man, sweatpants.

[John Holmberg]

What a genius.

[Brady Bogan]

Essentia Water has teamed up with the boxed wine brand House Wine to sell a huge box that combines water and wine, red and white. Here's the deal. The box has three spouts on it and one each one can pour 32 eight ounce glasses of water. Six gallons total. You get two gallons of water, two gallons of red, two gallons of white wine.

[John Holmberg]

Who's carrying that around?

[Brady Bogan]

40. What's the price? At 45.99 each. Six gallons, is it?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That's not light.

[Brady Bogan]

You have to go to open original house wine website to order it and it'll be available for limited time.

[John Holmberg]

Where do you keep it? The white needs to be refrigerated. It's gonna clog up the whole fridge.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, you gotta.

[John Holmberg]

It's a bad idea.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, now with the weather, probably keep it outside.

[John Holmberg]

You know, you keep your wine outdoors. You just got free front row tickets to Kentucky's. I keep my boxes of wine outdoors.

[Brady Bogan]

By the way, a gallon of wine is 8 pounds.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, 48 pounds. You're an alcohol. I gotta have at least 50 pounds of alcohol with me at all times. Half of this is water. Well, a third of it. It's a Neapolitan alcoholic's dream.

[Brady Bogan]

It is.

[John Holmberg]

You got the clear, you got the yellow. We. We avoid the clear. The clear is the strawberry. You're gonna drink the white, you're gonna drink the red. And then there's just. There's eight cups of water in it. Yuck.

[Brady Bogan]

It's the wine safety triangle. You know, one glass of red, glass of white, then water.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's what they say. Palate. But you know, I go with the Dickel philosophy. Waters for flowers, nickels for drinking.

[Brady Bogan]

Some of you might remember General Barry McCaffrey as the Dopey drug czar. Who was the guy that had the Gulf War General at that time, one of the top commanders. He's pretty solid source and he says what it's going to take to win this war. He told the BBC prepared to have about 3,000American and British casualties.

[John Holmberg]

Really?

[Brady Bogan]

General says the fighting in Baghdad and Saddam's hometown of Tikrit will be especially brutal. And he thinks that we should go there with even more troops than were the 6, 000 that we're throwing in there. His point is, you know, man, let's not make this a political war because we've seen what happened to us in the past political wars.

[John Holmberg]

The last ones we've been in, the big ones. Yeah, last. Everyone we've been in since Korea, even Korea.

[Brady Bogan]

Here's the last little war nugget. There's always danger of stepping on landmines because the whole country of Iraq's loaded With them? Well, Morocco is supposedly offering us 2,000 monkeys trained to step on landmines for us.

[John Holmberg]

How do they do that?

[Brady Bogan]

According to the Moroccan newspaper, some of the kamikaze monkeys will be homegrown and will be imported. But they're all be trained to detonate landmines with their monkey hands.

[John Holmberg]

How do they know that they're trained to do it? They've never actually done it. They wouldn't be around anymore.

[Brady Bogan]

That's right. Well, I guess they train these landmine monkeys.

[John Holmberg]

That's horrible.

[Brady Bogan]

I know.

[John Holmberg]

We have landmine sweepers and they offered it up. What does a landmine monkey run a guy?

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know. We'll. We'll try to find out. But if. If that happens, Morocco better brace himself for terrorist attacks from PETA.

[John Holmberg]

Man, oh, man, that's one of the most horrible things I've ever seen or heard. And you know what? There's gonna be a few leftover landmine monkeys that are going right out to AJ. Yeah, that's my monkey. He helps me mow the grass and do some things. And damn it all, if he doesn't.

[Brady Bogan]

Pounce on landmines like there's no tomorrow. I want to see the cages open up and they let out, like, 50 monkeys just through the desert.

[John Holmberg]

Just stuff blowing up left and right. Look at those monkeys. Oh, Claire. Thanks, Monke.

[Brady Bogan]

Then you got one monkey that gets smart. It says, no, there's not one here. It's safe here.

[John Holmberg]

All my buddies just stepping on those. Step on it, monkey. No, the better train them monkeys to flip them off, too, because they're gonna. They're gonna learn that middle finger damn fast.

[Brady Bogan]

There's a new trend going on. Putting on your makeup, ladies. This Instagram influencer show has a tutorial how to do it, but the trend is girl women putting on makeup that makes them look like they just finished crying. Okay, so it's like red blush under the eyes and cry face pictures. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

In the post. Post cry because they want everybody to ask them what's wrong. They're just. It's for attention and they're.

[Brady Bogan]

According to her, women look pretty, I think, just after crying.

[John Holmberg]

I think a woman. I think a crying woman is one of the most beautiful things you can create. Shouldn't have to tell her twice. That's right. It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness for life. Changerloan.com. a guy I know is going through a divorce, which stinks for him. He's trying to figure out how much it's going to take to pay off the future ex wife. You got bills you want to consolidate. You got some stuff you want to take care of, Go ahead and do it. Or if you're just really good with money and you want to get out of that mortgage as fast as possible, Life changer loan is the way to do it. Average Customer saves about 250,000 in interest. House is paid off in about five years. Life changer loan. It's not magic. It's just math. Lifechangerloan.com Holmberg's morning sickness. One of man's greatest creations is the crying woman. Yeah, yeah, exactly. If I can help with that. I think women look beautiful. So it is funny, though, because their eyes kind of pop sometimes. They look absolutely stunning after a cry. And I think it's also because we know that when they're done crying, usually the fight's over and then make up sex, which is always really fun. So I think maybe that's why we see we find crying women attractive.

[Brady Bogan]

And when you see the girls, post makeup looks pretty good.

[John Holmberg]

Post crying face girlies, you know how we look good when we cry? Just come to the floor. Chicks are nuts. That's just weird that you would. That you all acknowledge. Don't look hot.

[Brady Bogan]

Make yourself cry.

[John Holmberg]

Right, Right.

[Brady Bogan]

We're going in with the soft spoken.

[John Holmberg]

Lip by M Cosmetics. Blurring the edges with a brush and then going back in with a new. What is it that she like? She goes next. It's really a monochromatic moment. I'm going in with a double cheek. She makes her eyes all pink.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Like, what a lunatic.

[Brady Bogan]

Swollen from crime.

[John Holmberg]

You know how we all look so pretty after we cry? Yeah. Nothing says beauty quite like a post domestic violence incident. You're a mess. Nothing says like a lovely lady. I watched that op Live show, and I just know that every time they go to the lady's house and she's done sobbing and the guy that just got done hitting her is gone, and they're looking for him. Like, man, she's beautiful right now. That's as good as she can get.

[Brady Bogan]

You better watch out. Someone's gonna steal it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Remember, Remember? Yeah. Remember that movie, the what's love got to do with it? How pretty Tina looked after Ike knocked her around and she'd stop. Oh, that's the best.

[Brady Bogan]

Got some science news, ace.

[John Holmberg]

Oh. Oh, you pissed him off. Pissed him off with that. He's right. Don't worry. He's not gonna be around too much longer. Take your blows.

[Brady Bogan]

You got about 500 left take your.

[John Holmberg]

Blows from pop pop 500. Wow. He's swinging for the fences. While he's on his way out.

[Brady Bogan]

I've got a. I've got a new goal.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. To get to Toledo. Toledo's 6,000th show. I told you I'd make it. You son of a. Why am I wearing socks on my ears? I'm a teapot shorthand. Where do I walk?

[Brady Bogan]

Alf?

[John Holmberg]

When I'm done, Brace. Shaking hands with ghosts over there. Hello, president Biden. How are you?

[Brady Bogan]

Hello, my friends. Professor Brady Bogan here with your science news. There's a big study on nose picking. And they found we're not the only ones who do it. A team in Switzerland identified 12 different primates that pick their nose.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Including a long fingered lemur in Madagascar. It goes deep. It got one very long finger that can reach up into its nostril, go through its sinuses, down into its throat and then back out the mouth itself. A COVID test.

[John Holmberg]

Sexy. I saw a guy on the 202 the other day. I had to turn my head because I happened to just be driving along at 60 plus miles an hour. And I looked to my left at the dude in this little red accord and he's got just left finger buried in right nostril. He's doing a crossover. And he pulled that thing out. I mean, right as I'm looking. And this string. And I know he did the wraparound. Probably slopped it around between his teeth a little bit.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, the report also mentioned this little fun fact. A previous study found people. People who eat their boogies might get fewer cavities.

[John Holmberg]

Don't tell people. First off, say boogers like a grown. He has trouble with boogers. He calls them burgers a lot. Oh, geez.

[Brady Bogan]

I said boogies.

[John Holmberg]

Boogers, Burgers. Boogies. It. It does. Not again, Brady. No, it does not stop cavities to eat your boogers.

[Brady Bogan]

Some responsibility as a newsman.

[John Holmberg]

Don't. I don't care that it says that. Sometimes we edit.

[Brady Bogan]

Eat them up.

[John Holmberg]

Nope.

[Brady Bogan]

They say it.

[John Holmberg]

They say check a tape. Correct.

[Brady Bogan]

All the above. That's. Careful. You're on the list now. Oh, shoot.

[John Holmberg]

That thing Kirby pulled out of her nose 10 years ago. I can guarantee it would stop all cavity creeps forever. You've coated her teeth for years, man. Like Earl Shive on her finger. Brand new coating. Ugh, that. Remember the ozone layer was gone. It was the size of Australia. It was over 80s, right? Yeah, 80s. And they were scaring us in high school and stuff. The ozone layer is dead. Yeah, no Aquanet. No more Aquanet. No more aerosols. And then they had that big special on tv, Planet Earth is dying. Bette Midler played Planet Earth and Robin Williams and Christopher Reeve and all these people were celebrities came in and they played parts on. As humanity kills Mother Earth, as she lays in her deathbed. And it was Bette Midler. It was really poorly done. It wasn't funny at all. But they kept saying, the ozone layer goes away. None of us will have air. They just did a study. It fixed itself. It's down to about the size of my fist, I suppose. I don't know. But they can't really. But it was the size of Australia before. And all of our good air was leaking out.

[Brady Bogan]

They were right. Then we got rid of. Rid of the Aqua Net, or where Aquaman changed.

[John Holmberg]

But the scientist in the thing said this was Earth's way of going, oops, we've got a problem. And it repaired itself like DNA. And I don't know if it has something to do, but I don't think we've gotten cleaner since the 80s.

[Brady Bogan]

Like you said, the Earth shakes off everything.

[John Holmberg]

Like, oh, she's gonna be here long before. Everybody keeps saying that, oh, we gotta do this to save the planet. The planet will be fine. We'll be dead. And that's what we're worried about. But, yeah, they did a bit. Nobody. Nobody talks about that. And if it was the climate people, they'd be like, all those efforts we made in the 80s, we fixed it. But there's no credible way to prove that it was us, that the Earth might just go, all right. You know what else I wonder? And this might be just dumb guy talk. Every time we leave, aren't we breaking something? What do you mean?

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, yeah, we got a break. Yeah, like, because you got to break the Earth, Simon.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You got to crack out of that thing, and eventually it's going to just shatter. Right. You can't keep busting out of this place. You'd think.

[Brady Bogan]

But if it's repairing itself, it's just right, I guess.

[John Holmberg]

But it just popped in a pimple. Like, we're taking that for granted, like, every time we leave. Like, if there's a shell around us for a reason or conspiracy theory.

[Brady Bogan]

Maybe we go through the same hole every time.

[John Holmberg]

Or maybe we've never gone. Explain directv.

[Brady Bogan]

We saw it last night.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but that's what I mean. That happened at Vandenberg Air Force Base, which is way over there in Santa Barbara. Yeah. And when you see that thing Go off. It looks like it's in your yard. When it hits, the atmosphere blows up the sky. So there's kind of. That's got to be damaging somehow, right? Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Seems plausible.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not smart. Somebody will email me and say, no, that's not how it works. But prove it. It's like God, I love that. Without the word faith.

[Brady Bogan]

Prove it in your arm, you know, and you pull it out, it seals up again. That's what happened.

[John Holmberg]

Not forever, that doesn't. Have you ever seen somebody who does it too much?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Then it scabs. Then you got. If you have a bunch of.

[John Holmberg]

Now what happens? Your arms also open up. Too many times it opens up. It never heals.

[Brady Bogan]

That's just an open wound.

[John Holmberg]

It's a seeping open sore.

[Brady Bogan]

Tower's voice like it'll try to scab, but it's not the words of Dewey. You don't want this, Brady. Yeah, you see a real darn and I'm out.

[John Holmberg]

The veins collapse eventually. The veins collapse because they've been punctured too many times. I'm doing the best I can. This guy sticks a hole in me. All you got to find new places to shoot up between the toes. I'm just giving the kids some hints. Into the penis. The eyeball. I watched a guy dribble it in his eyes once with a syringe. But the vein will eventually collapse and that skin will start to rot. That's more the heroin than the poking holes in it. But we gotta be doing something. Keep breaking that thing. Bad thoughts? Anything?

[Brady Bogan]

No.

[John Holmberg]

I got your atmosphere right here.

[Brady Bogan]

This is pretty cool. Yeti, manufacturer of unbelievable coolers.

[John Holmberg]

That's right.

[Brady Bogan]

They have set up something for Halloween. Not the furry beast.

[John Holmberg]

We. We got it. Okay.

[Brady Bogan]

I just want to make sure we.

[John Holmberg]

Weren'T even a little confused.

[Brady Bogan]

For Halloween, they've made a yeti coffin.

[John Holmberg]

One of them made to cool you.

[Brady Bogan]

You can buy it at auction. The auctioning it. They're auctioning off on the Liquid Deaths website. The sale ends tomorrow. Last we checked, the top bid was around $30,000.

[John Holmberg]

Does it keep you cool?

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, yeah. It's a cooler coffin. So if you're having a Halloween party and you want to.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, not. It's not for actual Berry. No. Oh, I see. More like novelty Halloween. Okay, gotcha. Alberg's morning sickness. Holmberg's morning sickness. Just explain it to everybody.

[Brady Bogan]

What I was doing.

[John Holmberg]

No, no. I'm saying when you have it, you'd have to explain it to them. You'd have to be like, what is this big giant cooler shaped like that for? Worked my yeti coffin. Well, this doesn't make any sense to anybody. I don't know why you'd have that out there.

[Brady Bogan]

Pretty sure I was explaining.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I don't know. You're right. That's a little bit R. Word.

[Brady Bogan]

Videos. That's the ultimate posh cooler. Halloween bigger than what I thought. Yeah. It's a double door.

[John Holmberg]

Just a fridge on its back. Yeah. All right.

[Brady Bogan]

Seven days. You can keep things cool in the.

[John Holmberg]

In the yeti, in the ice. Yeah. Is that true?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Do you test that?

[Brady Bogan]

I have.

[John Holmberg]

Why?

[Brady Bogan]

Forgot I had stuff in there.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, wait a minute. You stored stuff in the edi.

[Brady Bogan]

Sodas and beer in there.

[John Holmberg]

It works. And you kept the yeti all packed up and then just lazily left it somewhere?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And the next time you cracked it, it was still good. Wow. This is amazing. Ice inside a cooler that lasts seven days for when you need the that.

[Brady Bogan]

Which is never ever in your life.

[John Holmberg]

If you haven't drained your cooler in seven days, your cooler's too big.

[Brady Bogan]

You're out there popping an abundance of stuff. Ice cold. It's gonna take us a week to.

[John Holmberg]

Get through all this.

[Brady Bogan]

Saddam Hussein and his boys. Saddam Hu insane and his boys have already said they're not going to OBEY President Bush's force 48 hour ultimatum. But that doesn't mean they won't try to sneak out of Baghdad anyway. Earlier this month, Saddam sent his personal jeweler to Thailand to buy millions of dollars of diamonds, possibly so that he can convert his fortune into jewels because it's easier to move and can be sold for cash once he finds a new home. On the other hand, Sarah might have.

[John Holmberg]

Just liked the bling bling bling baby up in the house.

[Brady Bogan]

His hideously evil son Uday recently sent the family jeweler to Thailand to pick up a $750,000 ring.

[John Holmberg]

I want to be like Kobe. Bling bling get me three baby you Sodoms into the bling bling. I like that. Raise the roof is getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes. Bling bling.

[Brady Bogan]

During the first Gulf War, Jerry Halva's wife made to made him shave off his mouth mustache because he looks exactly like Saddam Hussein. This time, the California lobbyist is keeping the stash because he looks like Sodom and he's darn proud of it. Jerry says, quite life. Life is too short. You can't live in fear. I don't think anybody thinks I share Sodom's views. Jerry has another reason for wanting to look like the ruthless dictator. He makes crazy money out of it.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he's doing it.

[Brady Bogan]

The guy that played the Saddam Hussein and Hot Shots. Hot Shots Part two and the Big Lebowski. Even if you haven't seen these classic films, you might remember the trailer and Hot Shots. Sodom has a bomb dropped in his lap. That's him. Anyway, Jerry says, quote, as an actor, I hope he goes into exile and my career extends, but as an American, I hope that I get to do his epitaph.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that'd be cool. That's like the guys with the. It's Sodom's mustache. If you look like him, you got to shave it because there's a reason the whole Hitler mustache face went away. Nobody really wants to look like that guy. I don't care if you can make money or not. That's a tough trip through the Crocodile Cafe.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

If you've got the Hitler stash on.

[Brady Bogan]

People are going to look at you. It's just inviting a fist to the face.

[John Holmberg]

It really is. You look like Hitler. And if you're going out of your way to do it, Kind of leaning towards his views, a little bit more.

[Brady Bogan]

Scared to pop the Hitler guy.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Because I'm thinking, wait a minute, there's probably about 50 behind him or something. But the Saddam look alike. You're like, what are you thinking?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Plus, Hitler had. Yeah, he had the big army and was actually a pretty potent foe. Saddam's kind of a whack job.

[Brady Bogan]

And finally, Brady, Finally, Texans live for barbecue. What else could go for? Find a group of. Texas Gulf coast barbecue association. But 400 competitive barbecue events per year, and they operate under the motto Texans are born with a mission to go out and educate people about barbecue. So maybe Texans won't think it's bad news, but they literally are breathing barbecue. That's thanks to the microscopic bits of meat floating. The fat floats in the air. Poly unsaturated fatty acids, the stuff that's released when delicious meat fat drips onto the hot coals and sizzles all over the Texas air.

[John Holmberg]

Somebody get Brady a tissue.

[Brady Bogan]

It makes up 10% of the pollutants in the air. So basically, you're inhaling meat.

[John Holmberg]

That's the greatest news you've ever heard in your life.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm moving to Texas, my friend. You can smell it. There's food. Just when you walk down the street, you just breathe in steak. Oh, baby.

[John Holmberg]

Thanks, Brady. Good job.

[Brady Bogan]

The last tragedy. A chronic of wacky whack is this story, it never goes away. Just ask 65 year old German retiree vacationing Spanish in Spain. Actually he can't. He's dead. He killed himself trying to give a handy release to himself.

[John Holmberg]

Oh no.

[Brady Bogan]

The old man rigged up a couple of electrodes to his wiener schnitzel and died from electric shock. The police eventually found him lying on his bed, pornography in the VCR and completely stiff.

[John Holmberg]

That is the worst way to die. Michael Hutchinson Excess Always be remembered as the guy who died whacking off. Never the guy who created music. The guy who died whacking off.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know why I'm doing this story for our Lent thing.

[John Holmberg]

But I know in Japan.

[Brady Bogan]

Come out with the psalm.

[John Holmberg]

What is it?

[Brady Bogan]

Som super onasm machine. Onasm is a fancy word for pleasuring yourself. This machine is works like a ceiling fan. In other words you can have you pleasure yourself without any hands. It basically is an artificial coochie mounted on a stand that goes above you like an oscillating fan. But instead of moving from side to side like a fan, the device moves forward and back along your engorged Asian rod. It does all the work for you. It says you can control the speed through without a vibrating remote control.

[John Holmberg]

Wait a minute. It's every man's dream. It's the vagina with the no body attached.

[Brady Bogan]

For 335 bucks you can get a song. But it also comes with a male attachment. For the ladies or. Automated backdoor pounding They've got what?

[John Holmberg]

Wait a minute. Say it again. Automated. Yeah, just so the thing knows when it's time. Attachment on and I see.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Ah well I might have to order one of those. Brady. Cuz that wouldn't count in our. In our lent thing.

[Brady Bogan]

Pick up your psalm at Walgreens today. No, it's not available there.

[John Holmberg]

But there you go. I am so intrigued on what that might look like. Would it be frightening? It actually gyrates and moves and there's.

[Brady Bogan]

And you have a remote control in your hand.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's kind of creepy. Remote control box.

[Brady Bogan]

And I guess the theme from Speed Racer plays in the background.

[John Holmberg]

Speed races. Anime pus. Not sure I understand exactly.

[Brady Bogan]

What's a whole new Pokemon?

[John Holmberg]

Pussymon. I choose you. You will battle vagina man. Vaginasaur. I will not fight that. It has warts. All right. It's 6:33 here in the morning sickness. I am thoroughly baffled. I'm gonna draw some pictures of what that could look like.

[Brady Bogan]

Pikachu can choose.

[John Holmberg]

We have battle Pikachu Chew.

[Brady Bogan]

Fetch.

[John Holmberg]

No. Pikachu. Please. The whole thing isn't just trying to get Pikachu off of it. Used to love the Pokemon. I gotta find a website with that thing on it. It's 98k upd. He said fully erect.