Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Brady Report MIX (10-03-25)

Date: October 3, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogan, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Episode Highlights: Saddam Mustache, Military Easter baskets, Meat Mist, 2003/2022 BO

Main Theme & Purpose

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness delivers a "Best Of" rerun Brady Report, featuring a lively, irreverent rundown of odd news, cultural tidbits, and comedic observations. The team dives into everything from strip club statistics and bizarre military strategies to beauty trends, science news, and outrageous inventions. True to form, the tone is edgy, playful, and packed with quick-fire banter.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Strip Club Capitals & Tampa Tales

• Portland, Oregon is crowned as the U.S. city with the most strip clubs per capita (one per 11,300 residents).
• Tampa, Florida is a close second.
  • Memorable Tampa Story: John tells a story about Chuck Powell's dad, an innocent man who ended up at Tampa's infamous Mons Venus strip club—and left with new pants after an enthusiastic experience.

    “The girl rubbed him until he wrecked his pants… I've never seen at a strip club before.” — John Holmberg (02:15)

2. Giant Boxed Wine & Water Combo

• House Wine x Essentia Water launched a 6-gallon box with 3 spouts: water, red wine, white wine.
• Unanimous skepticism about the need for—or practicality of—lugging around 48 lbs of liquid.

  “If you have to keep your wine outdoors, you just got free front row tickets to Kentucky’s.” — John Holmberg (04:53)

3. War Updates & Absurd Military Solutions

• General Barry McCaffrey predicts high casualties and warns against 'political wars'.
• Morocco's Kamikaze Monkeys: Reports claim Morocco offers the U.S. 2,000 monkeys trained to clear landmines. The team is horrified yet morbidly fascinated, joking about the aftermath.

  “Man, oh man, that's one of the most horrible things I've ever seen or heard.” — John Holmberg (07:23)

4. Viral Beauty Trend: The “Crying Girl” Makeup

• Influencers teach women to achieve the "just cried" look—red under-eyes, swollen cheeks.
• Hosts discuss why the post-cry look is strangely attractive, tying it back to make-up sex and vulnerability.

  "I think a crying woman is one of the most beautiful things you can create." — John Holmberg (09:02)
  “Nothing says beauty quite like a post domestic violence incident... you're a mess.” — John Holmberg (10:44)

5. Science News: Nose Picking in the Animal Kingdom

• Swiss researchers find 12 primate species pick their noses—including a lemur with a finger long enough to reach through its sinuses.
• Discussion veers into humans eating boogers, supposed cavity-fighting benefits, and disgust at childhood stories.

  “Don’t tell people... Eat them up.” — Brady Bogan & John Holmberg (13:47)
  “That thing Kirby pulled out of her nose 10 years ago… Like Earl Scheib on her finger.” — John Holmberg (14:00)

6. Ozone Layer Update & Environmental Banter

• The hosts reminisce over '80s ozone panic before noting recent studies claim the problem is mostly fixed.
• Spirited speculation about potential damage from rocket launches—are we breaking the atmosphere every time?

  “Every time we leave, aren’t we breaking something?” — John Holmberg (15:41)

7. Yeti Coffin & Super Coolers

• Yeti produces a cooler shaped like a coffin for Halloween, available at auction.
• Brady tested his Yeti cooler: ice lasted a week because he forgot drinks inside.
• The panel questions the practicality unless you’re a Halloween party legend.

  “If you haven’t drained your cooler in seven days, your cooler’s too big.” — John Holmberg (20:06)

8. Saddam Mustache & Lookalikes

• Saddam Hussein’s jeweler reportedly bought millions in diamonds as Saddam faces exile; Uday buys a $750k ring.
• A California man makes good money as a Saddam Hussein lookalike and proudly keeps the mustache, unlike after the last Gulf War.
• The team draws parallels to the now-taboo Hitler mustache.

  “There’s a reason the whole Hitler mustache face went away.” — John Holmberg (22:10)

9. Texas “Meat Mist” – Barbecue in the Air

• Texas BBQ culture has a scientific twist: 10% of air pollutants in barbecue country are meat particles.
• Brady is ecstatic: If you breathe in Texas, you’re breathing meat.

  "You can smell it. There's food. Just when you walk down the street, you just breathe in steak. Oh, baby." — Brady Bogan (23:43)

10. Dangerous and Wacky Innovations

• German retiree’s tragic end: Tries auto-erotic electrode stimulation and dies.
• Japan's "Psalm Onasm Machine": An automated device for hands-free pleasure (for men and women), complete with remote control and anime puns.
• The hosts riff on anime-inspired sex toys—Pussymon, anyone?

  "It's every man's dream. It's the vagina with no body attached." — John Holmberg (25:19)
  “Pussymon. I choose you!” — John Holmberg (26:19)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Portland, Oregon has the most strip clubs per capita in the U.S.”—Brady Bogan (01:57)
• “[Chuck Powell’s dad] lost control inside Mons Venus, wrecked his pants in multiple spots and left them behind.”—John Holmberg (02:21)
• “You got a spot? You can. It’s basically adding—it’s like Arizona rooms used to be, only now they’re not ugly and awful.”—John Holmberg (01:42)
• “I think a crying woman is one of the most beautiful things you can create. Shouldn't have to tell her twice.”—John Holmberg (09:02)
• “Eat them up.”—Brady Bogan (13:49)
• “If you haven’t drained your cooler in seven days, your cooler’s too big.”—John Holmberg (20:06)
• “There’s a reason the whole Hitler mustache face went away. Nobody really wants to look like that guy.”—John Holmberg (22:10)
• “You can smell it. There’s food—just when you walk down the street, you just breathe in steak.”—Brady Bogan (23:43)
• “It’s every man’s dream. It’s the vagina with no body attached.”—John Holmberg (25:19)
• “Pussymon. I choose you!”—John Holmberg (26:19)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 01:57 – Strip club stats & Tampa strip club story
• 03:58 – Boxed wine & water combo product
• 06:04 – War news: casualties & “landmine monkeys”
• 08:24 – The crying makeup trend
• 12:04 – Science news: animals nose picking
• 14:00 – Human booger eating and potential health impacts
• 15:14 – Planet and ozone banter
• 17:47 – Yeti coffin for Halloween
• 20:20 – Saddam’s diamonds & lookalike stories
• 23:33 – Texas “meat air” science
• 24:12 – Death by auto-erotic electrocution
• 24:43 – Automated hands-free sex machine & Pokémon riff

Tone & Style

• Irreverent and freewheeling: Banter flies fast; crude humor mingles with surprising nuggets of actual news.
• Satirical, edgy, and unfiltered: No sacred cows, with topics ranging from war to bodily functions to sex toys, all with signature sarcasm.
• Natural conversational flow: The hosts riff on each topic, frequently digressing into memorable tangents.

Summary for New Listeners

If you haven’t heard Holmberg’s Morning Sickness before, this episode is a classic. Rapid-fire wit and absurdity keep the newsroom rolling, from strip club stats to science facts, war weirdness, and adult gadgetry. The team’s chemistry and willingness to poke fun at anything—especially themselves—makes for a lively, laugh-out-loud episode packed with unexpected takes and hilarious one-liners.