10-03-25 - Emailer Having Bachelor Party Asks Us For Strip Club Recommendations And We Find Rub Maps And Massage Places BO

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona

Episode: 10-03-25 - Bachelor Party, Strip Club Recommendations & Wild Stories
Date: October 3, 2025
Host/Panel: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo, Colin, Dale

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Episode Overview

This episode kicks off with the crew responding to an email from a listener, Adrian, who is planning his first ever bachelor party and wants local strip club recommendations. What follows is a hilariously honest, sometimes crass, and circuitously informative discussion of the Phoenix-area strip club scene—covering food, clientele, the characters who frequent these places, and the wild tales only lifelong locals (and radio hosts) can provide. The tone is classic HMS: irreverent, unfiltered, but loaded with local insights.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Are Strip Clubs Still Worth Visiting? (00:53–02:10)

• Relevance Today: With OnlyFans and online adult platforms, John and Bret question whether "really hot chicks" even strip anymore.

  "I can't imagine anybody actually going and stripping in person anymore that's any good." – Brett (01:49)

• Who Strips Now: The consensus is many modern dancers are "just trying to pay for their kid" and "got the Pringles tummy."

  "...You can see the Pringles tummy kind of do that. Everybody knows what I'm talking about." – John (02:00)

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2. Phoenix-Area Strip Club Rundown (02:12–06:20)

• Popular Clubs Mentioned:

  • Jaguar’s (02:12): “Thick ass capital.”

  • Amazons (02:21): Also noted for its, well, “thicker” dancers.

  • Sunny’s, Bourbon Street, Lay Girls (02:35–03:46): Discussed as blast-from-the-past options; some have changed hands or been renovated.

    • On Lay Girls: "Their interior over the past couple of years... fixed it up a little bit." – Colin (02:38)
    • "Girls exteriors are the only important thing." – Brett (02:43)

  • Crazy Girls (03:12): Known for food (specifically wings/prime rib).

    • "The wings are great." – John (03:14)
    • "At our age, I don't need to be cteased by some meth addict. Give me some good chicken wings and some nudity that I can tolerate." – Brett (03:19)

  • Highlighter (03:48): Remembered for noontime car-salesmen crowd and surprisingly good cheeseburgers.

    • "Highlighter had a reputation for a while, but that was... great during the day..." – Brett (03:48)

• Dingy Clubs and War Stories:

  • Clubs near 43rd & Indian School get special shoutouts for their “bullet wound connect-the-dots” strippers and minimal building codes.
    • "There’s one I think it's on Indian School that just says live nude. And I'm like, what other kind of thing?" – Brett (04:31)
  • The infamous "Boom Boom Room" is dissected humorously as a dangerous but intriguing destination.
    • "Boom Boom Room. It's got a great name. I just don’t think we’re allowed in there." – John (06:18)

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3. The Notorious "Coyote Cabaret" (07:35–09:14, 10:57)

• Nickname: Locally (and online), it’s referred to as the “Crappy Booby,” notorious for the quality of entertainment.
  • "You used to be able to... The Crappy Booby only rhymes in cusses." – Brett (07:54)
• Notorious Reputations:
  • "Best B and C squad in the Valley, so no A's. But it's got a good B and C squad." – John (08:01)
• Legendary Yelp Reviews:
  • "Two out of the first three stories are: I got pink eye..." – Dale (11:45)
  • "Patrons, once again, a reminder not to mash your friends faces into the ladies vaginas. They’re here for your entertainment, but not to be touched." – Brett (12:14)
• Day Shift & No Shows:
  • John recounts a visit where no dancers showed up—just "Three dollar Tilt Lifters" and "The View" on TV (08:31).

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4. Food at Strip Clubs – An Obsession (03:19, 09:14–11:11, 18:53–19:43, 21:17)

• Best Food: Crazy Girls’ wings, Lay Girls’ prime rib, Highlighter’s cheeseburger, and Band Aids’ "chili dogs" (with a wink).
  • "At our age, I don't need to be cteased... Give me some good chicken wings and some nudity that I can tolerate." – Brett (03:19)
  • "The highlighter used to have a really good cheeseburger." – Colin (09:14)
• Hygiene Disasters:
  • A story about eating prime rib while a gynecological display happens inches away: "Could you please... I'm eating... I don't need to..." – Brett (09:56)
  • "You're getting pubes into my taters." – Colin (10:11)

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5. Horrific and Hilarious Club Stories (15:16–18:53, 20:34–21:17)

• Marilyn Manson Lap Dance: Brett’s tale of tricking Colin into a lap dance from a Manson lookalike whose infamous "door knocker" piercing left a lasting impression.

  • "I think that's Brian Warner. I think that's the artist formerly known as Marilyn Manson..." – Brett (16:16)
  • "It was a combination of old butt and a cigar ashtray." – Brett (17:32)

• "Butterscotch Salmon": A dancer emits a musk reminiscent of candy and seafood, inspiring a new band name.

  • "Do you smell butterscotch and fish? Yeah, I think... more specific. It's salmon." – Brett (18:50)
  • "Butterscotch Salmon is a great band name. We are Butterscotch Salmon." – Brett (18:53)

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6. BYOB & Club Logistics (12:34–13:45, 21:40)

• Alaskan Bush Company: Discussion about its bring-your-own-booze policy.
  • "It used to be you bring your own alcohol in there, and guys just couldn't wait to get in. Weird. I think strip clubs are weird." – John (13:42)
• Full vs. Topless - Legal Workarounds:
  • "One was bring your own alcohol or beer because it was full nude. The other one was just topless and they served alcohol." – Dale (21:40)
• Security and Club Codes:
  • "I just like the ones that don't have any windows... I’ve done additions. They have to have entrance and exit... But the one that just has that strange steel side door in the back... That's it." – Dale (22:03)

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7. Advice and Recommendations for Adrian (10:49, 23:43)

• Strip Club Rankings:
  • Coyote Cabaret is listed in Yelp’s Top 10, but Eric’s Family BBQ oddly appears (#2), causing confusion and laughter (11:03).
  • "So the answer to your question, Adrian. I had to pick them. But I think we all can agree that the coyote cab is the place to go." – Brett (10:49)
• Takeaway for First Timers:
  • "The simple question of a guy who's never been. And it's your bachelor party, so going to the strip clubs kind of..." – Dale (24:00)

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote/Story | |---------------|---------------------|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:49 | Brett | "I can't imagine anybody actually going and stripping in person anymore that's any good." | | 03:19 | Brett | "At our age, I don't need to be cteased by some meth addict. Give me some good chicken wings and some nudity that I can tolerate." | | 09:56 | Brett | "Could you please... I'm eating... I don't need to..." (on eating prime rib while confronted by stage show) | | 10:11 | Colin/Brett | "You're getting pubes into my taters." | | 15:16–17:32 | Brett | Hilarious and gross “Marilyn Manson” dancer story culminating with: "It was a combination of old butt and a cigar ashtray." | | 18:53 | Brett | "Butterscotch Salmon is a great band name. We are Butterscotch Salmon." | | 11:45 | Dale | “Two out of the first three stories are: I got pink eye…” (on Yelp reviews for Coyote Cabaret) | | 12:14 | Brett | "Patrons, once again, a reminder not to mash your friends faces into the ladies vaginas… They’re here for your entertainment but not to be touched." | | 21:17 | John | "Apparently Chef Rudy is a town renowned chef and he's the highlighter chef." | | 22:26 | John/Brett | "It's like you're going into a Great White concert or something." / "Yeah, you're gonna burn down as you're going to burn down in there." |

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:53–02:10 – Strip clubs now vs the past
• 02:12–06:20 – Phoenix club name dropping and food commentary
• 06:18 – Boom Boom Room discussion
• 07:35–09:14 – Coyote Cabaret/"Crappy Booby" legend
• 09:14–11:11 – Food reviews and mishaps
• 11:45 – Pink eye story (Yelp review)
• 15:16–18:18 – The infamous Marilyn Manson/stripper stories
• 18:53–19:43 – "Butterscotch Salmon" segment
• 21:17 – Chef Rudy and Highlighter’s culinary rep
• 22:26–24:00 – Club safety, cars in the lot, and final recommendations

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Summary: The Takeaway

If you want a Phoenix strip club primer—warts, wings, and all—this episode is a gem. The hosts offer no-gloss wisdom for someone like Adrian: expect low lighting, wild characters, sometimes surprisingly good food, and an atmosphere as unpredictable as the clientele. Every club has its quirks, but if you're in it for stories (and maybe prime rib), you'll get your money's worth.

For first-timers:

• Be ready for anything—good food, bad smells, bullet wound stories, and "Pringles tummies."
• Take friend recommendations cautiously and don’t touch the talent (unless you want pink eye).
• If a club has a menu like Denny’s, maybe just stick to the food.

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Final Advice:
"Brady’s the only one who goes to a strip club. Throws dollar bills at the chef." – John (22:17)

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Transcript

[John Holmberg]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[Brett]

It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness for lifechangerloan.com a guy I know is going through a divorce, which stinks for him. He's trying to figure out how much it's going to take to pay off the future ex wife. You got bills you want to consolidate, you got some stuff you want to take care of, go ahead and do it. Or if you're just really good with money and you want to get out of that mortgage as fast as possible, Life Changer loan is the way to do it. Average Customer saves about 250,000 in interest. House has paid off in about five years. Life change, your loan, it's not magic, it's just math. Lifechangerloan.com Putting the fu back in funny. Homburg's morning sickness. 98kupd this guy says, hey, guys, I have a bachelor party Saturday. It's for me and I want to go to a strip club. Which do you prefer in the area? I want your advice on this. Just letting you know it's my first time ever going to a strip club, so I hope you can help me. Adrian, not a big fan of the strip club.

[Colin]

It's been a while for me that I.

[Brett]

But what.

[John Holmberg]

What area?

[Brett]

He doesn't care. Just. Anyway, I don't. I don't know. Strip clubs are cut. I think maybe you should hire out. Isn't there a thing now, the Internet, where they'll come to you and they're better?

[John Holmberg]

You get catfished there a lot of times too. I had a buddy who did that one time for a bachelor party. It's like, whoa, you don't look like the picture.

[Brett]

Yeah, the filters are in there.

[Colin]

The handler comes over.

[Brett]

Yeah, well, the handler's funny. That's makes that great. They got a guy with a gun standing behind Tshan, rolls in. He's always got his weapon displayed.

[John Holmberg]

It's great.

[Brett]

I don't know. I don't like you're asking the wrong guy for strip clubs. I only know about lay girls.

[John Holmberg]

I'm a Bourbon street guy.

[Brett]

Still, I haven't been in a while.

[John Holmberg]

But last time I was there, I was.

[Brett]

But with only fans and stuff, I can't imagine anybody actually going and stripping in person anymore that's any good. You know, like really hot chicks used to strip. And I don't think that happens in. I don't think that's a thing anymore. I think it's a lot of girls who just want to pay for their kid and they've got the Pringles tummy and you still kind of see it when the. When the black light misses and they turn, you can see the Pringles tummy kind of do that. Everybody knows what I'm talking about.

[John Holmberg]

Give us a few minutes, the emails will start coming in. I already got messaged. Jaguars. Vader recommends that. So it's like Vader recommends. Vader recommends.

[Brett]

That's a lot. I'm guessing Jaguar sounds like a lot of thick ass. I think jaguars is the thick ass capital. There's Amazons down on central. I don't think I've been to a strip club since your bachelor party and I was there for about eight minutes.

[Colin]

Yeah, I know. Sunny's has redone a little bit of.

[John Holmberg]

Their interior over the past couple of years.

[Brett]

Have they?

[Colin]

Yeah, Fixed it up a little bit.

[Brett]

Yeah. The girls exteriors are the only important thing.

[Colin]

They fix those up that I don't know.

[Brett]

They have some good ones, I think.

[Colin]

I think they do.

[Brett]

I still own it. Your friends still own it?

[Colin]

The daughter.

[Brett]

Oh, the daughter's got it. Oh, okay. Okay.

[Colin]

But I think it has been responded.

[Brett]

Is he alone recently? No, he died. That's right. I forgot about that. His family.

[Colin]

Both Bourbon street and.

[Brett]

Oh, no, he owned both of them.

[Colin]

Yeah, that's right.

[Brett]

I forgot about that.

[John Holmberg]

It's like Brady just texted crazy girls.

[Brett]

For sure.

[John Holmberg]

Girls are okay, but the wings are great. There it is. That's from Cody.

[Brett]

Okay. Cody's nailed it. That's really. At our age, I don't need to be cteased by some meth addict. Give me some good chick. Give me some good chicken wings and some nudity that I can tolerate. And that's pretty nice. I'm with. I'm with that guy. And most of them, I'd laugh at Brady for that, But I think if I asked Mike, Brady's guys, we go to a strip club. Who has the best food? Crazy girls has good wings. You can get a nice prime rib.

[John Holmberg]

Over there at lay girls Essex off 43rd and Indian School. No, I'm not doing that.

[Brett]

Regardless, no years.

[Colin]

I mean, the highlighter had a reputation for a while, but that was.

[John Holmberg]

They were great during the day because they had all them car salesmen coming in there right off the callback.

[Brett]

But yeah, you go over to 43rd in Indian school and then, you know the fun game you play with the strippers? Connect the dots with her bullet wounds. This one happened when I was 17. This one's 23. This one's 38. How old are you? We'll get there. This is 40. Like, the bullet wounds are like rings of a tree. This is to tell you how old you are. I put a date on each one after I was shot. You need to get out of this business. If you get shot as a stripper, you're a bad stripper. You should just have money thrown at you, not bullets.

[Colin]

Just go to those real nice ones on the off. A University in 32nd, right above a car garage or something. One of those joints.

[Brett]

I like the ones that are just, you know, it can't be up to code. There's no. There's one, I think it's on Indian School that just says live nude. And I'm like, what other kind of thing? What's the other alternative? I want them alive. I think live is a huge, important part of the. You don't need that. I'm not assuming they're all corpses or on television. Live, nude. This place doesn't have a name. Building's red. It's not up to code. There isn't an egress in it. It's the. It's the Great White Strip Club. Because you're not getting out of there if something goes wrong.

[Colin]

Maybe we'll change that up for Halloween.

[Brett]

De Dead Nudes. If I'm going for nudes, I'm assuming the live part. Why did you have to. Had you had a problem with that in the past?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, they changed the name. I remember when, during one of Mangop's bachelor parties back in the day, we went to some place called Pantera, and it's like, pantera, let's do that. Well, we didn't realize it was at 43rd Avenue in Indian School, and. Yeah, and it was basically like Animal House. You mind if we dance with yo dates? I mean, we were the. We got to get wanded going in and stuff. And they're, like, looking at us like we were the tokens.

[Brett]

Like, what are you. These aren't. These are not. The Pantera club has changed. You hear this. And one time you hear. It's getting a little bright in here. Hi, fellas. Mind if we stare at your lady friends? Sure thing, sunshine. Have a seat next to me. So how long you been a cop? I'll. Tyrone. I'm not an officer of the law.

[Colin]

That sure is a nice labia.

[Brett]

I just enjoy the brown sugar. I like when the pink part flashes. I suppose you could stay. I still think You're a policeman. Oh, that's crazy talk. You got any of that chronic they talk about?

[John Holmberg]

Have a seat for everybody.

[Brett]

It's the Boom Boom Room. Dying to go to the Boom Boom? I need a friend who I think Brett would have to be the one I go with, because you recognize trouble quickly. Let's go look. The pictures of the Boom Boom Room are incredible. It seems awesome. They play fun music. It looks beautiful. The drink specials are amazing. And I'm like, boom Boom Room. It's got a great name. I just don't think we're allowed in there. I don't want you in there. Make a mockery of stuff, ordering iced teas. They're gonna definitely think we're cops if I drag your ass in there. One iced tea, please. You come to the Boom Boom Room, get yourself an iced tea. He's Officer Law. That's ridiculous. Tyrone. Of course I'm not an officer of the law. I'm not taking a teetotaler into the Boom Boom Room.

[John Holmberg]

Don't worry. I'll be drinking the yak.

[Brett]

Yeah. I need to do smashes. Like, it throws down the good stuff, and I wouldn't necessarily know what to order.

[Colin]

Glass yak.

[Brett]

And just hold it the whole time. And you will yak? Yeah, I'll have a. This man's having a stroke. Yeah, I don't. I don't have. There's one. There's a. I don't even. I can't even say the name of this place, but it's terrible. And it's next to Luke Air Force Base. Called Coyote Cab, but he calls it the.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, the Sc. Titty.

[Brett]

Oh, you can't say sorry. Yeah. Yes, it's. That's what it's called. You know about this place? Yes, it's called Coyote Cab, but this guy just called it the. If you Google.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. If you Google that, it'll. It will come up in Google and that will tell you the place.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

If I Google, you used to be able to. Yeah.

[Brett]

The Crappy Booby only rhymes.

[John Holmberg]

Yes.

[Brett]

In cusses. Yep. That's an actual, like, nickname. Of course.

[John Holmberg]

Everybody calls it that. Yeah.

[Brett]

I've never heard of it. Oh, yeah. Is it because it's gross? No. Well, best B and C squad in the Valley, so no A's. But it's got a good B and C squad. That's not a high thing. That's not something I'm interested in. They call it the. The Crappy Booby. Only it's. I'm being really. I'm being Mormon about it. Right. I'm not allowed to say it, but Luke, you know about. Have you been.

[John Holmberg]

I went one time during the day because we were across the street, Sage and sand or something. And we show up, literally. And there was no strippers there. Well, nobody showed up. So we're like, sitting at the bar drinking, like three dollar Tilt Lifters, watching the View on TV at the strip club. That is a true story. And I've never been back.

[Brett]

And none of the strippers were there? No.

[John Holmberg]

They all called in sick or nobody showed up.

[Brett]

Yeah. How about that? Wow. This is the one in Indian school talking about the. Is that the dump across from the VA Hospital? I've never been, but I see it. And they have steak nights there. It seems kind of gross to eat food around all that crotch. Great show. Once again, signed Jim. You're right, Jim. Yeah, but they do. Sometimes they have good food and, I.

[Colin]

Don'T know, Highlighter used to have a really good cheeseburger.

[Brett]

Did they? Yeah. You're the only person that reviews the food. You have to be. I. I can't do it. I remember we went to that place and that guy got us free food. He's like, I wanted to show you around. I wanted to do some stuff with the station. Like, all right. So the sales guy had the account. It's like Monday afternoon. And that was one of the best prime ribs I've ever had. Prime rib, mashed potatoes, green beans. And he plops it down in front of me, and I'm like, this is like good old fashioned home cooking. And I'm kind of hesitant to cut in. And we're sitting right up on the stage, and then some, like, within a foot of me, some gynecological experiment starts happening. I'm like, could you please. I'm eating like, I don't need to.

[Colin]

Finish my prime rib.

[Brett]

Yeah, come on. I can see the birth canal. And let's get to the dance. Yeah. When I'm done and they give me 30 minutes, it's like swimming. I don't need you doing that. It's disgusting.

[Colin]

My garlic mashed potatoes.

[Brett]

You're getting pubes into my taters.

[John Holmberg]

All right, so you Google it.

[Brett]

There it is. How about that? The crappy booby is a real thing. And they. They acknowledge it so much. So.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it comes up in the. Under the Yelp reviews, too.

[Brett]

Coyote Cabaret.

[John Holmberg]

And then you read right there, and.

[Brett]

They seem okay with it. And there's the name again, right there in their own review. Yeah. Best strip club in Phoenix. Though is Dirty's. And that's the one. Larry's friend. That dirty.

[John Holmberg]

No, I think crazy girls one crazy.

[Brett]

Oh, is it?

[John Holmberg]

I thought he had 30 dirty's. Is that old Denny's? That's right there on Grand Avenue. Yeah, that's right.

[Brett]

Okay. No, I'm scared of that. Yeah. So the answer to your question, Adrian. I had to pick them. But I think we all can agree that the coyote cab is the place to go.

[Colin]

Coyote was about 4. The top 10 according to Yelp.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Colin]

Curious.

[John Holmberg]

Should we go to the top?

[Brett]

Hey. Number two is Eric's family barbecue. How'd they do that? They did it in the girls is two dirties is one featuring the big daddy burger.

[John Holmberg]

Of course you've seen that one.

[Brett]

That's how you know the strip club is not greatest at the picture. Picture of a burger and it says $9. It's. That looks like it's ready. Yeah. Oh yeah. It looks like a jack in a box. It's a BK as a $9. That's a good burger. What else goes on at Dirty's topless sports bar?

[Colin]

Looks like I know where lunch is today.

[Brett]

Les girls has a picture of a girl that you'd never see in lay girls. No, the great Alaskan bush company's still a thing. Unbelievable that that place because Brett suggested it.

[Dale]

I googled the crappy booby.

[Brett]

He just did.

[Dale]

Yeah, but the. Did you see the first like two out of the first three stories are. I got pink eye.

[John Holmberg]

No, we didn't read the stories.

[Dale]

The crappy booby.

[Brett]

Well, the owner of the cab would tell you. Well that's just the competition messing around with my reviews. Nobody gets pink eye.

[Dale]

The first guy would say he took his buddy there and the stripper bent over in front of him and smashed his face into her. And he got.

[Brett]

He got pink eye.

[John Holmberg]

Well, on the west side, yeah you can.

[Brett]

You're not allowed to. Do you just hear that Record scratch. All right, patrons, once again, a reminder not to mash your friends faces into the ladies vaginas. They're here for your entertainment but not to be touched.

[John Holmberg]

Well, they used to do that at the Alaskan bush company. Used to do bush dives.

[Brett]

Oh yeah. I don't remember that. Yeah, I know.

[John Holmberg]

I think it's still a thing.

[Brett]

I don't know if you drove by the bush company. I've never been there. I'm not going to in there. And the reason why is because when I would drive by, there's dudes outside with paper sacks. Cuz you had to bring your own alcohol in there. It's John Holberg here from the morning sickness for lifechangerloan.com I had a friend text me the other day, and he was skeptical. He was like, there's got to be a catch, man. Math is absolute. It can't lie. So we went to the computer, put his info in the little [e-mail] and found out that his loan, which he owes $523,000 over the next 27 years on, could be paid in eight years and he will save 389,000 in interest. That's insane. You should be skeptical. Ask questions. Then you'll see for yourself. It's not magic. It's just math. Lifechangerloan.com Holmberg's morning sickness. I remember in the middle of the day, I drove by that thing a couple of times. So many times I've driven by and. And there's even open. Yeah, there's dudes standing outside waiting for the doors to open with their. Their keystone. Because I don't know if it's still byo, but it used to be you bring your own alcohol in there, and guys just couldn't wait to get in. Weird. I think strip clubs are weird.

[Dale]

I got profiled when they did an appearance with Lisa Ann and whatever that one is on grand. Is it sugar 44 or something?

[Brett]

Sugar 44.

[Dale]

When I was driving.

[Brett]

There's another one I forgot when I.

[Dale]

Was driving my black Impala.

[Brett]

Oh, that's right.

[Dale]

And I left and I got pulled over. Cop even said, what are you doing?

[Brett]

Are you driving this around here for. You stole this from a guy who stole this. This is stolen from a stolen. You'd stole it from a black guy who stole it. Right. This Impala's never been purchased.

[Dale]

Comes back up and goes, I can't believe you check out.

[Brett]

Everything works out in your Impala SS over here in Grand Avenue. Drug addict.

[Dale]

Good luck, white man.

[Brett]

You're on your own. Yeah, Grand Avenue for Ivan.

[Colin]

I think it was the Bush company, but it was years ago. Our own Bob Weaver downstairs.

[Brett]

Well, don't sell them out now.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, good. Way to go.

[Colin]

Well, they used to advertise on one of the stations that he was working at.

[Brett]

Weaver was down there a lot. Yeah. And they're still on the. Just immediately saying, he's a family man. He tells the story. So you shouldn't let him do it. You're throwing him under the bus. Yeah, I was there every day, I think. Let him tell the story. Yeah. Exactly. So I can't answer your question because I just don't know. This guy says the highlighter used to have all you could eat crabs and clams. Yep. They've lobsters and stuff like that. The highlighters always sell them out.

[Dale]

But the boys from the mo Money pond would take us there a few times.

[Brett]

The highlighter.

[Dale]

Yeah, back in the day.

[Brett]

That was the one I took Colin to that time. And Marilyn Manson wandered over to the table and I. I wouldn't stop paying her for lap dances for. She liked Colin and her. When she waved that clam in his face, I could smell it and it smelled like a cigar. And that's when I just broke. I went into my pocket. Colin had some event and he was in like a button up. She looked really nice. He was all done up like he was slacks button. I'm in a. Go figure. I remember being in my Greg Lloyd Steelers shirt and a pair of shorts that didn't even come close to matching that. I looked a little bit like the kid in first grade would peed his pants and they just gave him clothes. And she comes over the table and I just joked with her for a second. You're fun. You guys are fun. You want to dance? I'm like, he does. And he looked at me because when she walked away, I'm like, is that. I think that's Brian Warner. I think that's the artist formerly known as Marilyn Manson. And now that's what he does. Face white. It didn't look right. And then was dancing and then pulled her flapjacks out and they were pierced. And I'm laughing because I'm like, those are the worst boobs in the world for a. And she was real long. She looked just like Marilyn Manson. And then she pulled her. Her bottoms over to the side and revealed that there was one of those hooks on there too. Like she had that thing pierced and it had, you know. Yeah, but it had the thing you put in a cow's nose. It was huge. And then. And then she pulled it aside and put her leg up on her foot up on Colin's shoulder and then just started to wave it in his face. And I'm watching his head go side to side and then I turn my head because I'm like, is that. Am I smelling what he. Is that what I think it is? It was a combination of old butt and a cigar ashtray. And. And so I just. I remember as I turned my head, I was laughing. She wanted nothing to do with me and I was all right. With that. And I pulled out a wad of tens and I just put them down. I'm like, keep this going for a while. And she goes, all right, you guys are fun. And then at the end, when I didn't have any money left, I must have given her 100 bucks at the. She goes, I'll give you one for nothing. And then it was like a 10 minute song. And it was so. It was like ACDC and some mix the DJ did. Like he knew he was in on it too. And she. Her only move was to pull that thing to the side and whip it around. Like.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

And it never ever became normal. Like, it was always a bad stink. That would. It never. Once we got used to it, it was. The only other one I smelled worse was that butterscotch and salmon smell that came off of that lady. She was wearing pants. That was just a weird. It was a lady who got excited and started joking around about being excited and then got on all fours and then emitted a musk that permeated my entire life. Like, that is like Grandma Candy and like. Like a barbecue. Fresh barbecued salmon. Ah.

[Dale]

Like your first scent of cheap tequila when you're young.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Dale]

Forget it.

[Brett]

Yes. It was. It's like Goldstock. I can't ever have that again. It's gonna make me puke. But she started. She got on her all fours and then started to move her butt around laughing. And then I'm like, that's. That's salmon and that's butterscotch. That's hard candy. I know that. And that's a butterscotch salmon. And that is not a good combination. And I remember turning to the guy next to me and going, do you smell butterscotch and fish? Yeah, I think it's. I think I can be more specific. It's salmon.

[Dale]

I look forward to them in Palladio. Butterscotch.

[Brett]

Butterscotch Salmon is a great band name. We are Butterscotch Salmon. I'm convinced that she had eaten salmon and then washed it down like on the way out of the restaurant so long and reached into that bin that what she thought was mince, but it was just butterscotch. It. It was like asparagus that came out of her through that.

[Dale]

Brett, the reason you saw that cheeseburger on that review is because they changed the name of the Alaskan bush dive to the cheeseburger special.

[Brett]

Who's the big daddy?

[John Holmberg]

He's still there for lunch today.

[Brett]

Yeah, Brady's not going to the Tap Drag anymore. That's it. Forget it. I'm going to Dirty's. John, let Brady 80 miles away. Dad, I need a big Daddy burger for nine and a snooch in my face.

[Dale]

John, let Brady know that Band Aids has really good chili dogs. I hope that means food no.

[Brett]

1. Challenge accepted. You don't have a strip club chili dog? I'll go in there and watch you eat one of those. I think I'd tip you before I tip the girls. Look at him go. Yeah, I'm just gonna stuff money in Brady's underwear while he eats that chili dog. This is disgusting. You think that's bad? Wait till Brian Warner comes back over here, starts waving that cigar ashtray in our face. Thing was horrible. And it was, you know, well worn. We'll say. When she whipped it out, that cow nostril ring was. It was an anchor pulling stuff out. Things were way too big and it was too heavy. Too heavy on the ring. And that thing was stretched out like a natural door knocker. Yes, well, you don't want to knock on that door. You don't want that opening up at all.

[Dale]

Guys, here's a true Yelp review. The body shop. Years ago, my buddy went in there as a joke. This old ass lady comes out and tripped in her high heels, decided to tell us, sat and sit down and decided to tell us her kids were older than. Than us.

[John Holmberg]

It was gross.

[Brett]

She had Pringles tummy. She had Pringles body, probably, but Pringles tummy is the one that I like the most because that's clearly where the baby pushed out her. Everything else recovered but Pringles. It's that little space above the belly button that turns into Pringles. And then they move wrong. It's just a big old batch of Pringles. There's no. There's no fixing that. You can go get your mommy makeover all you want. That's. You're always going to have Pringles on me a little bit. Uncertain angle.

[John Holmberg]

Apparently Chef Rudy is a town renowned chef and he's the highlighter chef.

[Brett]

Oh.

[John Holmberg]

So there you go.

[Brett]

Michelin star at the highlighter.

[John Holmberg]

12Th Street Bar and Grill is what they call it. You can't tell the wife.

[Brett]

Place is packed. We're going to the bar and grill over there. 12th Street. I don't. Yeah, and you shouldn't tell your wife, ever. I'm gonna go watch the meth addicts dance naked.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Brett]

Be home by seven, John.

[Dale]

I'm a bit of a connoisseur. There were two Alaskan bush companies. Number one and number two. One was bring your own alcohol or beer because it was full nude. The other one was just topless and they served alcohol.

[Brett]

Okay, I didn't know that. So if they show you the beef.

[Dale]

You can bring your own.

[John Holmberg]

You got a BYO oh, now there's the chicas Cabaret. Used to be Mustang Sally's. I don't know.

[Dale]

Is that where the Browns go?

[Brett]

Well, yeah, that's where the Cleveland Brown fans are. Chicas. I just like the ones that don't have any windows. The egress ingress is like, there's no way it's up to code. I've done additions. Yeah, but that's. They have to have entrance and exit. So, like you have to have that. But the one that just has that strange steel side door in the back and. Yeah, and that's it.

[John Holmberg]

It's like you're going into a great white concert or something.

[Brett]

Yeah. You're gonna burn down as you're going to burn down in there.

[Colin]

If you go by. I think what you look for is look at the cars in the parking lot. If you see like rusted out Corollas or something, the dancers aren't that good.

[Dale]

Well, if they have a gated thing.

[John Holmberg]

That'S like Christie's back in the day. I mean, they saw Mercedes stuff BMWs in the parking lot.

[Brett]

I disagree. I think you see a rusted out Corolla, you got a shot with her. Well, the girls. Girls with a Ferrari are going to ignore me if she's. She's got a car with rust on it in Phoenix. She's traveling to dance. I. She's a go getter and I really appreciate she's doing it because she loves it. She's passionate about her work. She's not in it for the money.

[John Holmberg]

Apparently it was half topless, half nude at the Bush Co. John. So we're. You're still safe to go there. They have the best billboard also. It says all thighs matter.

[Brett]

What is half topless? Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So half the bar is cut in half.

[Brett]

Why?

[John Holmberg]

So like.

[Dale]

Yeah, that's what that guy was saying. The one half was bring your own.

[Brett]

I thought.

[John Holmberg]

Apparently it's still that way. I don't know.

[Brett]

They exposed a single boob. You don't get this kind of conversation in chat. GPT. They're talking about waffles for breakfast. Yeah. And you know, our dismemberment and pee pee and booby talk isn't for everybody, but it's got to be better than waffles v pancakes.

[Dale]

Guys, trust us. Us Luke air force guys know anything out there? The bouncer, the bartender and the dancer are all the same. Big woman.

[Brett]

Jesus. That's at the cabaret. The Luke air Force Base 1.

[Dale]

Is that the one? That must be the one out there.

[Brett]

Oh, this can't be true.

[Dale]

Or the crappy booby.

[Brett]

The set word.

[Dale]

Crappy?

[Brett]

Yeah, Crappy booby. That's. That's the. Yeah. Coyote cabaret. Well, that's crazy. I didn't realize there were this many. The simple question of a guy who's never been. And it's your bachelor party, so going to the strip clubs kind of.

[Dale]

I'm like you. I thought they were a thing of the past.

[Brett]

Yeah, I'm pretty sure you just order in. It's like doordash.

[John Holmberg]

Brady's the only one who goes to a strip club. Throws dollar bills at the chef.

[Brett]

In there. Papa. How about another big daddy?

[Colin]

One more plate of sushi, Guys.

[Dale]

You used to do Brady's rainy day recipes. Can we have a new weekly sentiment segment? Brady's strip club food review.

[Brett]

Yeah, we should have Dale have to like his segment get sponsored by a strip club. And he's got to go there every once in a while. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect.