← Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
10-03-25 - FULL SHOW - FRIDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD BO
02:20:18
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You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness for lifechangerloan.com I had a friend text me the other day and he was skeptical. He was like, there's got to be a catch, man. Math is absolute. It can't lie. So we went to the computer, put his info in the little equation@lifechangerloan.com and found out that his loan, which he owes $523,000 over the next 27 years on, could be paid off in eight years and he will save 389,000 in interest. That's ins. You should be skeptical, ask questions, then you'll see for yourself. It's not magic, it's just math. Lifechangerloan.com do not listen to this while driving or when full alertness is needed. The rest of home birds, morning sickness. This is the Big Red Radio. Now a Gary update. Gary the listener, for those of you who don't remember, emailed us right after Matt, als. Matt. We met him at the Corey Feldman Limp Bizkit show and als. Matt was diagnosed with a very aggressive form of Lou Gehrig's and was standing behind us and has already pretty much had his power of speech diminished fairly rapidly and it was tough to understand him. So he's got that he's a little bit physically affected that you could see, but still on his feet, smiling, having fun, funny. His friend was there with him and found out that day that he was getting divorced because his wife was banging someone she worked with at the Texas Girl. That's what, that's what he told us. So how did he find out? Check the phone, something like that. Something was going on and find out that she was, she was on the dirty with somebody from her work while her husband had been diagnosed with the als. And Matt is a very funny guy. Emails me every once in a while and it's very fun and we're rooting for him hopefully to, to pull out of this, but it's, you know, it's a long road. ALS is ugly. So then Gary, another listener, emails us after the Matt stories we told and said I had suspicion he got glastoblastoma or whatever that tumor in your brain is, and it was super aggressive form of cancer. He's in the midst of treatments, he hadn't had it very long. Checks his wife, checks her phone and sees a picture. If I remember Right. Of a dude's wiener in her mouth. Right. Sexting. First she had sexting with three picture, but then he found a picture of her bobbing on, inhaling a football. She was taking it down. So. And then he had a little fugue state, if I recall, also and wandered out of the house one day where his neighbor happened to be standing conveniently in the driveway and said, gary, is everything all right? And Gary wasn't coherent and the neighbor took him to the hospital. This was just before he found out everything. Took him to the hospital and dropped Gary off at the hospital. And then a few days later, after the phone thing happened, Gary found out that the neighbor was standing in the front yard to signal that his wife wasn't home. And when Gary's wife was pulling in, she was gonna go to the neighbor's house. And that turned out to be whose wiener was in her mouth in the photograph. And the Ansel Adams moment of the day, using the on deck circle, ready to go. Yeah. When Andy Leibowitz took the sh. Of her swallowing that tube, that's what that turned out to be the neighbor. So he found that out. The neighbor even came over. If I now it's all coming back to me. The neighbor came out and knocked on the door and said, I need to apologize to you. And Gary, his tumor started to throb and he was going to kill him. So Gary, update, because we were worried about this, hadn't heard from Gary. I believe the guy's name is Quinn, who emails me, says update on Gary. Gary's whore wife flew to. Oh, yeah. And he moved to Kansas City because his family and. And that was right after I came back from Kansas City and I said, oh, I'd rather have cancer than go to Kansas City. So Gary's got two strikes now. So Gary's whore wife flew to Kansas City to see him at the hospital. And guess who she brought. The neighbor. They're now in a full fledged relationship. She didn't wait long. She needed some papers signed and notarized, and she thought this would be a good way to go to Gary and say goodbye. Well, Gary's brother did not like this and got into a fight with her in the hospital. It got physical and now Gary's brother is in jail. He was arrested, he's out. But it's gotten insane. By the way, Gary is not doing great, but actually going home next week after an incredibly aggressive treatment. We'll see where it goes. Keeping you uninformed. Q. How about she brought the stunt D with her I mean, just leave it out in the waiting room. You know what that means? They took the week to go. Yeah, we'll go see your dying husband and we'll grab some barbecue here. Kansas City's got some great bbq. Got a couple restaurants. Maybe catch a Chiefs game or Royals on the way out. How do you do that to him and bring him to the hospital? What? Can I bring him to the hospital? We'll do a little victory lap. This dude sign the papers. This dude, the neighbor. I understand the lady might be nice. I'm not stepping in there. I'm not going. I'm not going to the hospital, visit Gary. Even though you were neighbors and you're the one who's like, hey, if it wasn't for me, you wouldn't have found out you got the cancer. I'm the one who took you to the hospital. I don't know why he's Adam Ray, but all of a sudden, hey, I don't know. I thought it'd be cool. Hey, bro, I thought it'd be great taking the hospital, you know, I thought it was doing a solid. Hey, f you, man. I thought I was your friend. I mean, come on. I don't. I don't understand the balls on some people, but there you go. It's good to hear that Gary's going home after some treatment she took. Has she not seen Million Dollar Baby? That horrible scene where the mom made her sign with the mouth? You don't take the people that make you miserable to see the dying guy. She's trying to kill him faster. My guess is there's an insurance policy that she gets paid on and she's the benefactor of this divorce or otherwise. And she's just trying to speed up the process because Gary's filed for divorce and stuff. So Gary, Gary's brother immediately get on that insurance and switch out who wins the life insurance. Or she's just paranoid that, you know, she's going up there by herself. He's like, oh, can't we reconcile and try to talk it in? But I'll bring him in just to ice that. Definitely not reconciling. And the brother, I don't know if the brother beat up the dude or her. That's a full fledged rage. Think of that. You got a family member in the hospital with a tumor that's eating his brain. The wife who's done nothing to help out as far as, like, care or. What she's done is just. She thought that blowing the neighbors was the cure for cancer at home. Evidently, that was her method of operation. If I can blow a hundred guys, maybe his brain tumor will go away. She confused what giving head means. I was trying to give head, so yours got better. Take that guy with. How do you climb on that plane? I only know already. It's a direct flight with Southwest to Kansas City. And that's already tough enough. How do you do? I'm gonna stay back here at the hotel. You go get those papers signed. Was he going as bodyguard in case the brother lost it? Saying he've got a guy in a hospital bed. How much is he gonna lose it? Like the brother? Maybe. Were they going in the cop or something? Bring the security in with you, but you don't bring stunt D with you. Ah, this guy says despite of Gary's wife, she did this because everything that's happened has been on the radio. There may be truth to that. She's like, you want to embarrass me, Gary? She's that bitter and awful that she can't understand that her actions needed to be. Her name's not out there. But again, if you know Gary, the. You know, the brain tumor guy who had to move to Kansas City, that's his wife and she's a. Wait. I know Gary that's in a bad situation and his wife. Yeah. Hey, that's the Gary I know. Rochelle says, can we get the rights to Gary's story? This is going to make a great movie. My heart goes out to him and his wife. All the words you're using for her accurate. They need to invent a new word for whore. Whores are decent sometimes. Like Mary's wife. Sometimes whores are fun. This whore's horrible. Like whore without a W. Like horrible. She puts the whore in horrible and the dude. I'll go. I'll keep an eye on that brother, make sure he doesn't get too out of line while you make your dying husband sign some documents and say goodbye to him and remind him of all the things in his life that weren't true or right. Right before he passes. I'll be in the. I'll be in the lobby waiting. Rolls in in the tank top. Tats on the shoulders probably. Big Johnson tank top from way back. Oh, Jesus. Got a holding a yellow jacket. That the hospital staff, sir. You can't have that here. Yeah, well, it's almost gone, so you'll see. Yeah, back off. Or if somebody's going to the hospital. Yeah, it's not me. All right. See what I did there? The guy with the yellow jacket and the big Johnson shirt's gotta go. I'm running security for my. My girlfriend. Your girlfriend here? The wife of the guy who's dying of the brain tumor. That's her sweet little ass on her, huh? A matter of time force is all mine. Just gotta get one thing out of the way. What a group of assholes. Except Gary. Or maybe, though I don't want to speak ill of the dying. But what if Gary deserves this? We don't know Gary very well. Exactly. What if he's the worst person ever? That there are three, you know, relationships. They had prior or whatever. Well, so what? I mean, still, the cancer trumps all the things you've done wrong. When you get it. When you get. It's the ultimate payback. You get a brain tumor and the wife's like, good for you. Like, she's long gone at that point. She's not blowing neighbors. Yeah, but maybe Gary was a horrible. I don't know. But even still, I can't imagine what you've done in life to deserve that, you know, I understand. You know, your husband's head's throbbing, and you've got sexual needs, and the neighbor's there. Keep that on the DL. Don't go public with that nonsense. And try to stay out of the driveway of the home of your. Is that a. That's reasonable, right? Like, just don't go wandering out and flagging her down like you're one of those guys at the airport bringing in one of the planes to the Jetway. Wait at home. You know, there's texting. Can't text. Gary will find out. What's Gary gonna do about it? You're all right. Just. You know what? Stay in your house. I had to get in the driveway and let her know that nobody's home at my place. Don't go home yet. You can park in my garage below me and then go home to your dying husband. That's pretty cool. I'm getting hard thinking about it. I can't take you to the hospital. I gotta do a shift. I got. I gotta stay late. She's not the one at Texas Grill. Oh, yeah. It's a different lady. You're confusing them. Poor Gary. I can't believe the guy decided to go, though, too. I mean, the nuts on that guy, the neighbor. I mean, what the hell? This is a good. This is a good solution right here. A final solution, if you will. You know what she needs to keep her affair alive? A beeper. We should get her. We should get her one of crazy Benji's beepers. And. And then when she gets that message that says 6, 9, question mark, Gary outlives her. Would have lost the fanduel on that one. Or it's an update on Gary. No. How he's doing it is over. Hey, Gary didn't make. I didn't get to finish. Is he alive? No, you're not. So we're good. Not saying she should be killed. I'm saying that some horrible fate should. But if it happened, nobody's gonna be crying. That's a tough way to go out. But the nuts on both of them, the neighbor and her. The neighbor especially. She has to see him, right? For. Probably for paperwork or some. Fine. I'm sure you could probably do that remotely. Do that FedEx or something. You could probably. But there might. Or whatever might be something that the both you have to be there for. And she went to. Maybe the reason why it worked so well is he was a notary. Oh, that could be. Save some money on a notary. Yeah. Gary, I can just do it for you guys. All right, Gary, put the stamp in your mouth, and I'll press against your head. Oh, my head. Sorry, Gary. I forgot about how much your head hurts. That's a new level of C word right there. She must be one amazing BJ because right now, Gary's seen pictures of it. So that's true. Maybe. Maybe that again. Maybe that's why Gary's head's exploding. Maybe she gives that maybe and some sort of cruel twist of humanity and fate combining together. It's the greatest head you'll ever have. But unfortunately, you get tumors from it. Is it worth it? We can only hope. We need to. Yeah, we need to fly Gary back here. So said. Can we start a GoFundMe page for Gary's family and all the bail they're gonna need? How about we just send money to Brett and have one of his people provide protection? That ain't a bad idea. Have a couple bodyguards standing outside of Gary's door. Things happen. Meanwhile, when the crazy bitch shows up, I need him to sign some papers. I would like to say goodbye to my husband, if you don't mind. Who's this with you? This is my concubine. This is the man I keep along with me. He's. He's my lover. You want to bring your lover and say goodbye to Gary? Well, we were neighbors. He was close. We had barbecues. Okay. We had a lot of meat on spits, if you know what I'm saying. Yeah. Tua. Yeah, they said John Are these losers douchebag of the year award people? I mean, think about it. How low can you. You know what? Maybe if we had a name, we could put her out there. I don't really have a name. Well, they do live here, so. Well, somebody that knows them might be able to fire over. I do think they walk amongst us and the neighbor. I would like the neighbor's name. He needs to be kind of out there at a certain point. If you're still getting hard because the ladies are still escaping. He's asleep from all the medicine. It's time for a blowy. All right. I'm on his rock. Is he dying? Oh, so dying. It's disgusting. I'm just going over there. You can't help who's you love. He's gotta wait for his head to finally soup up. And then I can have her as my own. Standing in the driveway waving her down. Gary comes out. What's going on, Gary? Shouldn't you be in some sort of bed or tied to an iv? I gotta get this. Some bitch to the hospital. Who knows? In his mind he feels he saved his life. I'm a goddamn hero. I'm a hero. Your wife treats me like a kebab. I mean, she. It's pretty great, Gary. We got a lot in common. We're igloo brothers, you know, Eskimo twins. Yeah, you just keep blabbing along. Gary, you remind me of your wife. You sound just like her. When I'm with her, the whole family sounds like that with me. I want to see a picture of Gary's wife. I want to see what this. Because if she's really hot, you're like, well, what are you gonna do? I don't think she is. No, we're assuming it. Brady started them. No, but he wouldn't say it out loud. You don't think she's hot because you think this is hillbilly. But classy people do, you know, look great looking. Rich people do the same thing. I know. Yeah. There's exceptions. Yeah, but you don't think she's hot at all. That's where my fanduel bet it's again. You're taking Luca or DeAndre. You're taking DeAndre. I mean, that's. I've seen society. The safe bet is ugly. Yeah. All the time. And anything. It's like, have you seen this girl? It's like 90% of society is ugly. I'm in there. So I'm not. I'm not calling anybody ugly. I'm with you. 10% decent looking, 4% really good looking and that's high numbers. I'm given a lot of benefit of the doubt to give 10% of the population the thumbs up. You're pretty status. You're not. You're just tolerable. 90% of us are hideous, visually ugly. This one says. John, I've got a question for you. How did Gary meet her? Maybe she was married and blowing Gary and it's a trend for her. That's true. There could be some of that. We don't know their background. What if this tumor is causing Gary to imagine he had a wife and family? Oh, this could all be Gary's mirage. Now that's a movie. Except for his brother beat up the imaginary wife and family. Unless Gary did that. But Gary's not the one emailing me. Somebody Gary knows it. Gary's by the way, Gary's friend. If I recall correctly, the first email he did give me her name. But I'm not gonna go back and look for that. Steven says Gary should go out, contract a get. Get AIDS and ask his wife for one last shag beforehand. Hey, what's he got to lose? Exactly. He's already. Yeah, ask the doctor to give him some full blown. Man, I've been, I've been going at it for a month. I still can't come up. Well, he's got to get something worse than that. He's got to get like mpox on his mouth just in case Gary's dick doesn't work anymore. Anymore. And then, and then like and have his brother go, he wants to perform oral on you one last time, if you wouldn't mind, you are his wife. And then have him do that with the mpox in his mouth and give her like a terrible case of it. Great idea. Get a terminal contagious illness and then go try to reconcile with your wife, Gary. Oh, can we give Gary some cocaine, methamphetamine, shots of adrenaline. Just give him one 24 hour period where he feels gangbusters and go bone AIDS into that wife of his. That would be great. These listeners and their ideas. You know what phrase you've never heard on the Beth show? Bone AIDS into his wife. That's only here. You're only getting that here. Do you think ChatGPT is going to do that? What would you rather have your terminal wife end up with? Would you rather the bone AIDS into her or cancer waffles or pancakes? Our consultant said that's a good idea. Nope, boning AIDS into folks. That's what the that's what the gen pop wants to hear. Proven by our number one rating, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. It's John Holberg here from the morning sickness for lifechangerloan.com. a guy I know is going through a divorce, which stinks for him. He's trying to figure out how much it's going to take to pay off the future ex wife. You got bills you want to consolidate. You got some stuff you want to take care of. Go ahead and do it. Or if you're just really good with money and you want to get out of that mortgage as fast as possible, Life changer loan is the way to do it. Average Customer saves about 250,000 in interest. House is paid off in about five years. Life changer loan. It's not magic. It's just math. Lifechangerloan.com Chew and poop. That's all they do. That's all they're good for. Chewing and pooping. The rest of homework's morning sickness. This is the big red radio. I also saw a thing this weekend that I just have to say, put a stop to this immediately. There was a news story on the BBC, BBC America. When we come back, let's talk about your phone. We'll be right back. Yeah. All right. Let's talk about that. Evidently, there's like a test. Like you can. Why is it a bad idea to have your phone in the shower? There are people who can't go to take a shower. They gotta have their phone to have their phone. Never once have you. No, no, I don't. I don't even know if I think my phone's the waterproof one. I don't want to test that. First off, I don't want to test that out, find out I'm wrong. And second, what's going on in that shower? That. I need more information. I need a chat. And put it close by. I'll be out. I'll be out in a few minutes. Like tugging. I guess maybe that would be the only reason. But did you just put it on the other side of the glass? I mean, if you've got a shower curtain, just keep it cracked. Build up. Here's. Hang the monitor in the. In the bathroom and throw it to the monitor. Yeah. Hey, there's something. Yeah, do a little air. Air throw. That's not. Brady Solved your problem there, nut bag. But if you're beaten off in the shower and you've got your phone with, you're gonna fall down. First of all. One of these days you might. Yeah. Yeah, might. Actually, I masturbated on the 20th and 21st. Tuesday, and then Tuesday again. I. Yeah. Stop taking your phone into the shower. You can take it on the can. It's the new newspaper. I get that, but that would be. To me, that was the equivalent of your. Your parents going into the shower with a newspaper paper or a Playboy. Yeah. You're missing the live presidential debate. You want to run it? I decided. Did Charlie Kirk and Vivek Ramaswamy do another symposium? You couldn't not watch while you were cleaning your junk? I guess as I think about it, if they made Playboys and Penthouses waterproof, I'd have probably drug a couple of. So essentially, I think that maybe they didn't mention porn. It didn't cross my mind either because they kept talking about taking a break from information and not necessarily take a break from your phone. Don't take it in the shower with you. And they show people in the shower holding their phones, and I'm like, that just seems like you're definitely gonna drop it. Don't take your phone in the shower. Just if you're about to shower this morning, maybe listening to us, maybe you have your favorite podcast on. But that's. Don't take us in the shower. I don't want to be in the shower with you. You're mostly fat. I don't want to be in the shower with almost every American. Yuck. There's like 2% of the population. I'd like to shower with the rest of you. And then I don't want to see you reach down into that crack and then look at it after soap it up and then look at your hand. And the soap's rust colored now. And then you use it on your face right after E. Come on. Only if I'm allowed to see it. Put me in that little screen and go, hey, if I go in the shower with you, I'm going to critique some stuff. Yeah, I shower with Troy Hayden every morning. Thanks, Christy. I go to Circle K. I see the populace. I. You guys don't want to watch me shower. I do gross stuff in there. Anyway. Thought I throw that out there. If you're thinking about it this morning. Dumb. So as I'm going through all this poop I thing, and I already don't like the poop situation. I see this article this morning that says the Iowa Disability Rights Advocates are fighting for this nationally. Now, first off, we just got through the bathroom thing about six or seven years ago. Where it was like, do we have transgender bathrooms? What do we do with. How do we allow men dressed up as women to use the women's room without feeling like, you know, a dude who's got bad ideas could dress up like a woman and go in the ladies room and do all sorts of things, which is what nobody talks about. They all talk about rights. They never talk about the crazy people that can disguise themselves and go in there. Or, you know, just men with women, and it's gross. So then. And then tampon Tim shows up and are we putting tampons in boys rooms? And, like, everybody's got a bathroom thing. This is the worst one. Tampons in boys rooms are funny. Nobody's gonna use them. Nobody's gonna use them. If you're dressed like a girl, why are you using the boys room? That. That argument goes away to me. It's like, if you've got a. Well, yeah, but she needs to. Or if you're dressed like a boy. Right. You're dressed like a boy. You'd have to use the girls. She didn't want to go in the girls room. Let anybody know one thing. Minute one of the dudes sees her pulling a tampon out of the thing. Look, you're having. You're bleeding. And also, by the way, if you're a girl dressed as a boy and every day have two tampons somewhere on your person if you have to mule them in your ass. If you just put one in in the morning and just. Just in case. But she might get toxic shock. Well, look, she's running a lot of risks out there dressing up the way she's dressed. And so that argument was stupid. This is the worst one. I'm fine with the tampons. I don't care about transgender bathrooms just as long as it doesn't cost me any money. This one. Disability rights say that there's a need across the country for adult changing tables in bathrooms. This is Jerry Springer now. What is this? Yes. So one adult can change another adult who's had an accident at a restaurant or a place. And so, like, let's say Brett and I go out. It isn't for us, but let's say you take a huge. And you're laughing so hard you can't clean yourself, and I go and put you on the table and clean you up. That is not how you got two pie, by the way. That would have. We both end up with bad eyes afterwards somehow. That isn't exactly what it 4, but we would, like, jokingly Lay on that. I would never touch the table change table. I don't like the baby changing tables. My theory on life is if someone you're with, no matter what their age is, takes a. At the dinner table, the dinner's over. Everybody's going home. That's it. That's a rule. I stand by. If someone just goes, oh, like, what is it, Grandpa? I just took his. All right, night's over, folks. Everybody to the car. I'll grab the bill. I'll just throw $200 on the table. I don't care if it were at Applebee's. Two for 20. Somebody's getting two bills, we're getting in the car, and we're going home. The minute one of the guests at the dinner takes a disabled or otherwise, night's over. Because the last thing I want to think about. And I said this to Brady Espanados, and he's a little disabled. When it comes to a sphincter, food goes in him and comes out of him like. Like those cartoon people for medicine on the. You know, when they throw, they show the little dots of medicine going all the way into the stomach immediately and coming out. Brady will go to the bathroom, take huge dumps, come back and keep eating. Gotta make room for more. And I'm like, no, no, you're not touching any more of the food. You're done here. I washed up. Not enough for me. You got. You're done. Do you order another pizza on his own if he wants to go sit somewhere else. But that's it. If he took it because he couldn't. Scott Taylor's not allowed to ever eat with me. That guy, he takes more than anyone I've ever known in my life. At work all day, says he can't control it. And I'm like, michael and Troy can control it better than you. And the things they're doing to their rectums is indescribable. So it's mainly for people with disabilities, so their folks can take them in there, pull down the big boy table, and clean them up. But I know this. If my dog has poop butt. Nice. Over. Oh, yeah. At night's over. We're in the shower. We're doing some scrubbing. I've got gloves on. We're cleaning it all up, and the food is. We're done. I'm not going back to that. We're showered up. We're. You can't just go wipe an adult's ass and then rejoin the party. Yeah, I guess the only. The only place that would be allowed is like old country buffet, maybe cracker barrel. Those places I could see, but they're firing through. Yeah. You're not going through like steak 44 and the adult changing tables in there. But if they make it capable, then the people who. People will feel for. Here's what are my fears with Americans. They'll feel free to take in their pants, Brady. Because they don't have to get all the way up and go to the bathroom. They can dump, keep eating, and then go change up in the bathroom. Why are you not allowing lubies to do this? Well, a lubies can do whatever they want. I'm never going. That's what I'm saying. So old country buffet, stuff like that. Fine. Only places I don't go to. Right. You know, you never know when you're in a pinch and you get a flat tire at the Louvies parking lot and there's no tow trucks or help or anything for running the louvies. We got is the only place in Texas I shouldn't have made this drive. Now again, that's probably never gonna happen. But neither is the idea. I've always told the story of the guy in show low. That was Stephen Hawking. Dub. I still have that picture. Wait a minute. That's from safe. Oh, no, that was the one from you and I and Tim Hortons. Yeah. Now that person's not needing wipes. The person you and I saw didn't have a body from the rib cage down. They just had a bag that filled up. I'm positive of it. There was no butthole on that woman. No reason to change then. Just no reason even. Why open the ziplock? You're good, right? Yeah. Just go pour out your ziploc. But I still think that if we're going to do this for the disabled person. Sure. The table. If you're pulling somebody out of a chair and wiping their ass and then putting them back in and then going back out to have some more ribs. I'm not interested. If you ever got to give the bro hug to a dude to get him up on the table. Yeah. If you've got to go into the mount. Yeah. To help somebody, it's. That's it. And I'm not. I'm not trying to be disparaging to people with disabilities, but the last thing I think they want is to be in a public restroom laid out on a changing table. Yes. Right. I think that's humiliating because if I walk in and I would, the first thing I do is go, oh, come on. What's going on? Like, I would be like, get it out of here. He can't help it. He's sick. Yeah, but you can roll him back to the car. Come on, bro, hurry up. My two for 20 riblets are getting cold over there. Come on. I'm still hungry. So we were going to wipe my ass filled with feces and then go back out there with the people. No. And here's the other thing. If you've got to clean up somebody who's dumped all over themselves. Now I know how this works. I've. I've had accidents as an adult. It isn't as an adult, a little, you know, like a baby, where it just lands in the diaper and then you clean the diaper and wipe them up. Adults have what it looks like they sat in mud. It's on the thighs. Yeah, it's. You know, especially because most of these people who are disabled aren't standing up when they poop. They're sitting in it. So it's. Yeah. Thanks, Brett. So it's. I know this is a tough way to start the morning, but we're. We're serious show that takes care of issues. So it's spread all over. So the disabled person. I'm not upset at the person who's got a, you know, squeegee off the thighs from the knee back to the ass crack. Good band name. Squeegee that off. Put that down, throw it all out. Then they don't have the ability to wash up. So now we gotta add a shower. Need the Silkwood shower in there. Oh, yeah, you do. You know, power washers and brushes. You need a Chernobyl room to clean this person off. And then. Yeah, you can't. This isn't good. So I say let's not encourage this by adding tables. Let's discourage this by telling people if the rule is. And every week they went on dirty dining when the chef had Pepto Bismol in the kitchen. We got changing tables for grown ups. Handicapped or not. Look, handicapped people want to be treated like everybody else. So I say you guys go home if you take dumps in your pants. Because if you want to be treated like everybody else. If I take a dump in my pants, dinner doesn't continue. No. I tell you what, Kurt Vesely is gonna learn Uber eats because I'm not taking him out when he gets to that point. Nope. My dad and I, we've got it. Come on. My dad and I have a deal that if I ever have to wipe you more than Three times because you've lost it. It's a pillow to the face. And he's got one for me. If a doctor ever says he'll never be able to clean himself it again, that's it. Game over. What are you doing? Is he going to get better, doc? No, he's never going to be able. All right, then this is. This is the downward trajectory, and we're near the bottom here. I love my dad, and that's proof I love him. Is that I don't want to do that. And I never propping Dan up on a changing table just so the two of us can go back out and have some rigatoni. It's not happening. Changing tables for changing tables for babies is bad news. That's awful. If you've ever walked in on a bathroom where a dude is changing a baby. First off, where's Mom? That's very real. That's not a guy job. It's your turn. Oh, lady, I'm paying for it. In the beginning, I'm paying for all this dinner. You change, you wipe its ass. I didn't want it to be here. Secondly, if you take out anything that still can't control its anus to dinners, have a backup plan. Double down on the diapies. As a divorced dad, I will defend the guys do have to change the babies sometimes. Guys like you? Yeah. Regular us guys. No, we just don't. You know what dudes like Brett and I, I think would sit back and go, we just don't go to dinner for the first three years. That's a woman thing, too. That's an actual thing. You just stop doing stuff like that. Well, we have to have a life. I thought you loved this thing more than anything. It was the greatest gift you've ever gotten. What do you mean? You have to have a life. Isn't this a better life? Stay home with it. That is your life. Yeah. You're locked down for basically until they start school. Good. Stay out of my kitchen. Dragging that thing out there. It's disgusting. Every day I hear stories like that. I just knew I made the right decision. Every day is a gift. Let me tell you this. I haven't loved anything more than not having a child. Like not the birth of my child. Every day is. You have that one day parents where you're like, the birth of my child is the greatest day ever. Every day I don't have a child is better than the day before. Every day I get that feeling that you got once. I have more love in me because of not having a child. You don't even know what love is. Uh huh. You have no idea. And it grows and grows with each day. I don't look into the eyes of that little human factory. It's like when the smoke was coming out between your legs at Dr. Lin's place and the light was just coming. It was like the Guiding light and everything. Oh, it was. It looked like my dick was smoking weed. It was a moment. Yeah, it was a moment. The. The. The two greatest words I've ever heard are not I do or you're rich or anything like that. It was all done when Dr. Lynn was finished cutting out my nuts. Oh. It was the best. The best way. You run the risk that the kid's gonna end up smashing his spine into something and the next thing you know you've got like a 22 year old up on a table at Apple Bees wiping its thighs. Not me. Not me. I'm leaving it there. Me too. Sorry. This is where you and I part ways, Justin. But dad, I'm like, hey, should have thought of that before you jumped out of that tree. Got 22 good years. You're lucky went this far. All right. I'm not wiping your ass anymore. You're all grows up. You're all grows up. We're done here. Put. Ben, I'm sorry. I know this is tough, but maybe a little tough level you'll pop up on those feet again and if I leave you here. But I can't. I can't imagine that. Look, it's not the handicapped person's fault. It's the again new rule. If you take your at dinner, dinner's over. Any at home, a barbecue outside. It's over. If you. Whoops. Hey, I just. My pants. Everyone, I'll be right back. The last thing I want to hear from somebody who just took a dump in their pants is I'll be right back. No. Chris Gilbert at Mesa Community College was giant fat kid and sat next to a guy named Mark. Not the not say Mark. I always talk about a different guy. One of Father Dale's victims. And Chris. We had a seven to ten o' clock class at Mesa Community College and Chris comes waddling in. He was a 5,000 pound man and he sits down one of those desks at MCC. You don't fit in. And about the 15 minutes into the class, he leans over to Mark Olson and says, any given time I can fart. You just let me know when you want one. All right, Gilbert. Now we all went to Dobson together. So this Was our little clique inside this Mesa Community College three hour night class. And Gilbert is sitting there. And so Olsen goes, hey, Gilbert, give me one. Gilbert starts straining, starts launching, and then up his back, he like he, he stood up and grabbed the desk because he was stuck in it because he was so fat he couldn't slip out real fast. Picked the desk up and kind of waddled away up his back. He rooster tails a shot right up the spine. And then he comes back two hours later in new clothes for the last like 35 minutes of class. I'd never returned. I'm like, how, how are you showing fate? We couldn't stop laughing for three solid hours. Nobody knew but us. We were in the back of the room. He took the desk with him because he walked out to way cuz he, he was so he was one of those, you know, back in the. Oh, this is not true anymore. When I've brought this up, like back in the my day, the olden days, there was one fat guy per class. Now. Oh yeah, that's all there is. But you know, the one humongous fat kid and he walked out into the hallway with it. He couldn't fit in the desk real good, so it was stuck and he couldn't just like you and I could just pop out and run away like, oh my God. I just rooster tailed up my back. But again, I'm dropping out of college. Yeah, it's not that I'm not going back to that class. I'm never going back to that college again. I could have had a full ride to Harvard if I did that. I'm done at Harvard. I'm dropping out. I'll be going to Glendale community for that. The other side of town. Right where it's accepted. I thought you were going to Harvard. Oh, I dropped out because I took it. Math took a dump in math. I rooster tailed up my own yellow shirt. It was a yellow shirt I'll never forget. It was a bright yellow. Like only a fat guy would wear this color. It was a yellow Latigre or something. It wasn't even like. It was like a Mervyn's brand polo. And it was right up, right up the back. Like somebody took Yoohoo and just went splat on his back. You know that artist that paints Jimi Hendrix and just throws paint at the thing? That's exactly what his back looked like. Anyway, so we told him, go home, get out of here, would you Come back. I cleaned up, I took a shower. I'm like, oh, Frank, for God's Sakes, for the last 30 minutes, you just came back. And then Olson hits him again with give me another one. Well, you need to do it then. But that's it. You don't come back. You take a dump at dinner. You just. You just dismiss yourself from the evening. That's enough. Nobody wants to see you. Giant changing tables. You know where I most fear that it's gonna be like, sporting events, Crowded bathrooms where we all have to act like it's not happening. I don't want to see that, frankly. I don't want to see most people nude, grown up. I especially don't want to see someone crippled, naked, laid out in their own feces. That's just that. That's humiliation beyond. Sure, we'll have a video on it later. But we all. We all know ALS math different, though. That's the. Yeah, well, it's humiliation. Like if we're drunk and just. And you decide to. And I can't control myself because I'm too drunk, and you toss me up on the changing table and we start playing a game. I'm laughing. Where I might take a dump, but. And also, I'm gonna kill you when I sober up because. Just brought up something. What about out at Blockbuster Desert Sky? How many adult changing tables are they gonna need out there? Because we've been at shows. Our show. Right after a Slipknot show. Exactly. Our shows where there's five guys in the bathroom that are in their own. Whatever. They're in their feces. Oh, yeah. I've never seen it. I don't think. Seen them in the stalls taking dumps or they're sleeping. See, I think it'll be used at, like, a concert venue as a bed. Like, dudes will fold that down and just go to sleep because they're too drunk. I don't think there's much need for it. Yeah, I don't. I don't think we're. I don't think there's so many people actually their pants that we. That we need to spend money to have adult folding tables. And then the people with the. You know, the lady in the article was basically saying, well, it's. Finally we can start going out. And I'm like, if the one thing that keeps you from going to restaurants is too much, then you don't go out. It's not the table you've always wanted. You can't go anymore. That's. That's what you sacrifice. That's what the beauty of doordash is, you know, set up a little space Outside or at a park and doordash. And if the person you're with takes a huge dump. Fertilizer. Yeah. Pour their pants out, put them in the car, and go home. John, it feels like we're trying to make fetishes socially acceptable. I'm all for your weird crap, but can you keep it in your own house? Yes. And again, I don't. I feel for you. You've got somebody you got to take care of all the time. And a dinner's nice, but, you know, like, a good whore knows to Metamucil the day before anal. I've talked to hookers. They. They know what they're doing. They're like, oh, Friday's anal day, so Thursday's Metamucil day. Like, is that a thing? Huh? I've got one client that calls me on Friday. He wants that. So I Metamucil and cleanse the system. So she knows to go out, do that to Stephen Hawking, load him up with some Metamucil. Have them drain. Don't feed them. It's like a dog. You don't feed a dog at 10 at night. It's gonna wake up, you're gonna poop in your house. You just know better. I don't know. I'm not telling you how to raise somebody who's handicapped, but I'm telling you how to do it better than this. If you've ever. If you ever in your future, fold down an adult changing table, just kill yourself. Wow. Or the thing you're wiping. No, just kill yourself. You shouldn't be in that situation. You. You know, that's on you. You brought yourself. Put yourself in that situation. I just don't. I don't think the problem's big enough to necessitate tables everywhere. I've never seen it. Let's get to the real hurt here. Your fear is missing this morning. You don't want to change Brady on a. On a table anywhere in your building. Imagine if they install one in your building. Imagine the structural power of that table. Jesus couldn't build the table that good. Second, if Brady takes a dump in his pants, Brady is on his own. You think? We're so close. Yeah, this is a marriage, this whole Brady John thing. But, yeah, he takes a dump. Brady's not obligated. Brady's. Brady's sitting in his own orange rust pretty much every morning anyway. You think I'm going in there and spot checking that rattling up to take care of it? I wouldn't put brattling through that at all. Or one of our promo kids. And I. I can tell you right now, I have a feeling, for the right price, Brattle will wipe all our asses. Those people downstairs don't make a penny. The sales people do. But the thing she's doing, it's slave labor. What they got going on down there with Brattle. If I told Brattle and I'm like, hey, Brattle, and Brady took another dump in his drawers, will you lay him out on the incredibly structurally sound changing table and wipe his ass? Because he's incapable. He's kind of like a bull that you've been wanting to ride. Yeah, yeah. I'll tell you right now, the price is high. Of course it is. Brattling. What are we looking at? 250? Why don't you just hand over the credit card, Brattling? I don't understand. No, this is not. This is above my pay scale. But there she'd be, holding Brady's giant cankles with one hand and a thumb and a pinky, holding them up in the air while it's just straight up. And he's doing this most. He stretched his hamstrings and ears while she just cleans up the crevice. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said, fully erect. All this show with none of the fluff. Let's get started. There's more of the best of Homburg's morning sickness. This segment is brought to you guys by Action Ride Shop. Now, if you're thinking about heading up north to hit the slopes for some skiing, some boarding, or if you're just gonna stay down here in the valley and do some mountain biking, Action Ride Shop is your place to be. They got all the gear and all the knowledge you're gonna need, so check them out online@actionrideshop.com or better yet, just go visit them over there on Gilbert Road and Southern. It's Action Ride Shop. Gay marriage, gay rights. We were fine with that. That was supposed to be a big deal. They lit the White House up in rainbow colors just sitting there, waiting for us to lose our minds. And we didn't. I mean, a few people were like, this is. Is gay. We're like, yep. Well, I don't even have a word to make this funny. They're doing that on purpose. But the gay thing, you guys take advantage of that, you LGBTQers, you're always announcing it. You always. You always say, we want to be left alone. We want to just be able to do what we want. Then you wave this giant, bright red Pink, blue, yellow, orange, this flag, and start screaming, I'm a homosexual. He, him, her. Like, what the hell? I thought you wanted to be like. You wanted to blend. Your pitch count is high. Yeah, you guys lost me on it. Yeah, guys. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I don't know. You know, I. You know, running into the pronoun thing or getting yelled out for that. It's just. They did that last. I haven't yet, but I've been. I've said that. I've had that happen before where people will say, hi, my name's Kevin. He, him. Oh, you've had that. Yeah, oh, yeah. I've had a couple. Well, you go down to Melrose. You go down that area sometimes you have that. Yeah, Phoenix has it, everyone. So had a waiter do it. Hey, how you guys doing tonight? I forgot his name. It's like, Trevor or something. My name's Trevor. He, him. Can I get you guys a drink? And I'm like, so break that down. So you can go, he, him, or just they do a third. Why? Where do we take this in? Like, when he comes back to the table and ask, can I get you anything else? No, no. It only matters if they're they, them. Then you got to start watching yourself. If the waiter comes over, goes, hey, my name's Kevin. They, them. Pronouns, you're like, oh, we're on. We're on the clock. Where can you mess up on that? Yeah, well, if you. If he hears you saying, well, our waiter, he said he was going to go get. No, if you say something about he was going to go grab his drinks, they was going to go grab us drinks. I'm like, oh, right, okay. I'm sorry. I. I've offended you. That's what he was calling boss. Yeah, that's where Boston works out good, that one. Lady boss, madam boss. I don't know Boss. It's either a pronoun. My boss. Yeah, yeah. I'm your waiter, Brady. I go by chief or boss. Chief and boss. Somebody does that to me. It's check, please, because I know I'm gonna screw up. I am, too, you know? So I'm like, I'll sit somewhere. It's a massive setup for failure. And you want to tell the manager, hey, I don't need to know his pronouns. I don't care about his personal life. I'm here, you know. Bring me a vodka soda. Yeah, I don't care. Vodka soda with no spit in it. And I feel like I'm. I'm gonna get it if I goof. And say the. Look, I'm not. I'm not great with English in the first place. He. Him's gonna screw me up no matter what. If that makes us concentrate, which I think it would, more on their name than anything. Because you can't go wrong by going, kevin's going to get that. Yeah, it did do that. It made me remember his name. Yeah. Hey, Trevor. How you doing? Well, I got you, brother. Don't you worry. They not brother. Oh, yeah. And there's the kind of screw up to get out. I'm a they them. Gotcha, brother. I'm sorry, my man. Oh, my gosh, am I gonna get lit up with my man? Is the ACLU gonna get me now? That's my boss. It works my thing. Yeah. Oh, if he just says something, it's like, oh, that's. That's not my meal. You were gonna give that. He was gonna give that to you, honey. He. He like, oh, sorry. They was gonna give that to you. That just sounds like I'm an idiot. Plate drops. He goes running back to the kitchen crying. I don't get it. I'm not playing the they them game. I'm not doing that. But I got it. I've gotten it twice recently and wanted a restaurant. It took me by surprise. But then I looked around and I'm like, I'm in, like, one of the gayest places on Phoenix, so you gotta play ball. Yeah, I just. I. I walked into that game, so it's okay to. That's on you guys. Hey, it was 100 on me. When there's an antique shop attached to where you're eating, pretty much the day them are gonna be. Yeah. If there's a. Like, if there's a brass monkey, you're in a fragile place. $18,000, and it's wearing a dodger hat. And you're like, what the hell? You're in a they them place. Yeah, definitely. And the food was fine. It wasn't that great. Expected more from the gays, to be honest, but they're too busy worrying about days and thems. And I would hate to be a cook at that place. You know, you're just barely learning English in the first place. Now you got to figure out they them on the. They never pick up their order. He said he was going, I'm like, what happens when you hear the wrong pronoun? Can we get a little grace on that one? Or like, we're gonna screw that up. It's six entertainment for Kirby. The he him. Oh, no, the boss thing. Oh, she likes. I mean, it is everywhere. She's like, you just got boss. You get built by. You're. You're built. You're built for boss. Like, you get it a lot. I get bruh. Bruh's my thing. I get bruhed a lot, and I hate it. Hey, bruh, can I help you out? I'm like, brah, Jesus Christ. I'm an adult. You know that, right? You can't be serious. Yeah. You can't really be interacting. Me, brah? No, Braden, I'm fine. Leave me alone. All right, Braden. Go get my ramen, bruh. Okay. Here's your drink, bruh. Do you like that last drink, bruh? I'm like, no, I didn't. I liked it up until you started calling me that over and over. Now I just hate it here. Bruh. Bro was annoying because it seems condescending, but brah is a thing. And I'll say that to people like, hey, brother, what's going on? But it's almost in a funny way, I'm not. I don't like Boston in Chief, and then I certainly hate bra. But you are built for boss. You look like a dude that wants to be called boss, and that's why you get it. So I know it. It's not because you look managerial, either. It's just you're built for boss. That's a sign of affection, respect. No, it's a disrespect. And it's probably cuz you're short and they just feel like that's going to make you feel bigger. What's up, boss? Shout. I'm in charge. I'm the boss. I don't know why people say that one, sir was nice. The old generations had it right. Oh, hello, sir. That was a nice. That's gone. What about my man? My man's the. My man is awful. That's what foreigners used to. We used to make fun of. Hello, my man. You're good, boss man. My man. And like, broken English people said, my man. And then the 70s, my friend. Black characters on television. Right on, my man. Hello, my man. My friend, my man. Like that was always the Indian guy in the movie. That was learning from the urban people how to speak my man. What it is. What? What is it, my man friend? That's my mama. What is it? Oh, I learned only English from what's my mama? Who, dog? Nope, none of that. You know, it still works pretty, pretty good. Is the old island okay? Just. What's up, y'? All Pirates? Yeah, the old Pirate's pretty solid. If you threw that at me. Hello. Yo, pirate. When I walked into stake 44, be like, yeah, what are we doing? Are we getting high? What's going on? Chef's cut. We gotta get you a butcher's cut tonight, you old pirate. I feel like I'm getting something special with that one. Like I've earned some sort of weird open door with this guy. I don't call everybody a pirate. My crew, all right. I'm one of his pirates. Holmberg's morning sickness. An Englishman was St. Patrick. So we thought we'd bring in our favorite Englishman. He is here right now. He's got theme music and everything else. Let's open it up. Right. How's everyone doing this morning? You ever snorted Shepherd's piepers pile in St Patrick's Day serum whips up and then snorting in a crazy time and it goes nuts, man. Over at the house with it. And then we have the cabbage. You don't want to snort cabbage. Stay away from snorting cabbage. The celery seed is delicious. Well, thanks for coming in. You sound good. Yeah, no problem. You and I'm thinking. All right, all right. I got some contestants. We're gonna play Aussie pyramid. I just thought that was a pyramid. Yeah, yeah, you're right. Ozzy is the clue giver for this game. Now, everybody's seen the pyramid on tv now hosted by Donny Osmond. It's gonna be a little difficult. St. Patrick was an Englishman also. I'm an Englishman. That's right. See, Ozzy knows. Stop interrupting, Ozzy. Sorry, sir. Go ahead. All right. Thanks, Oz. So you got the. He's gonna have categories. Now, the categories today are gonna be. We've got two right now to choose from and then we get others later. But things associated with St. Patrick's Day and green things are the two categories Ozzy will be giving clues for. We got people in the line here waiting. Are we? Where do I go first Here? Ready? Three. Five. We'll go to five first. Hi there. Who's this? Eric. Eric, how are you this morning? Pretty good. Are you ready to play the Ozzie Pyramid? Sure am. Alright then. Ozzy is waiting for you. You'll have 30 seconds to try to get three. Now, Ozzy's clues may not be that strong, but you can still try. Now, which category do you want? Green things or St. Patrick's Day items? Green things. Green things. Are you ready? Yes. All right, say hi to Ozzy. Hi, Ozzy. What's going on, Patrick? Ready to play the game give you these clues, man, and then you tell me what they are, right? Sure. What was your name? Eric. All right, Patrick, are you ready? Here we are. 30 seconds counted out there, Brady. But not out loud, because it threw me away. Okay, I got ready. Here we go. Clue number one. Oh, my God. Drink too much beer. Green beer. No, all over the floor, man. Cream puke. That's right. There's one. Oh, man. The thing is, don't get a mangrove man. Who just start tearing the place up. You can't do anything about it. He just starts ripping it apart. Bringing the pecans. No. And he's tried it in really drama. And then he's got the trouble. Dramatic head wound. And instead of coming no. Oh, man. Anything, man. Nice try. Oh, you're doing a good job. I thought it was pretty solid. I'm sorry, Erica. You tried. All right. Go back again. Later, Patrick. Thanks. All right. This is horrible. Who's this? It's Chris. Chris, are you ready to try? I'm ready. You want to try green things or doing things then? All right. Are you ready? Sure. All right, here we go. But Brady again. But not, not, not, not. Not so loud this time. The other one, The Hulk. Well, you just quiet down. He got it. Yes. That's number one. He's already begun. Okay, stop throtting on us, all right? Oh, I'm so. I'm jealous because you own so many things, and I'm completely jealous of you, which is. Makes me green with envy. That's right. He's got two in a row. Unbelievable. And then just don't make him angry. He's very stupid. And he comes around leprechaun. And he rides around in very tattered clothing. He's got all sorts of problems with it, with his. With his anger. Take an anger management class would do him, right? It's probably. But he's all right. And he's just so Reverend angry. Oh, it was the Incredible Hulk again. Oh, I'm sorry. I ran out of clues. I'm sorry, Tom. Green's a good one. I'm adding that to the list, though. That is a good one, Tom. Thu. Smelly fingers. You know. Nice try, man. Try back again. Patrick. Hi there. Who's this? Hey. This is Brian. Good morning, Patrick. How are you? Brian, Right. You got two categories. One is, of course, green things, and the other would be things associated. Oz. You realize each guy's got two clues. They're one away from winning. You're doing a good job. I'm doing all right with my Clue giving. Yeah. Associated with St. Patrick's Day. You want to try that one, do you, man? Yeah, let's try it. All right, let's do that, then. Are we ready? Okay. All right, let's go. Here we have things associated with. Oh, I pulled that out of my ass like a horseshoe. It's an unbelievable lucky thing. I've got a lucky charm. No, a green clover. That's right, man. He's got it. This little bugger is down around me genitals. Can't kick him away. He's got his mate. He's got me all problems and all sorts of things. And I keep bumping into him because he's not of average height and he's so effing annoying. He comes around all the time and he's got a little hat and a clover and the thing in his pipe and he's smoking and. Oh, yeah, that would be a. Oh, my gosh. You know what he is? He's a leprechaun. That's right. I was after. And it doesn't matter now. Well, goodbye, Patrick. It's Brian. Anyway. I don't understand, man. I was giving these clean clues. He did a great job, us, all right? And for that, I'm gonna let you snort a couple of pretzels. Oh, man, I love coming to the kupd. I love it here, man. Pretzel salt is good. All right, let's get Ozzy over to the. There you go. Nice job by Ozzy. He's okay. He's okay. Stumbled over there. He'll be fine. Don't Worry. Thanks, Sharon. St. Patrick's Day with Ozzy, and he's doing the Aussie pyramid. And we got tickets to go see Saliva, Breaking Benjamin, Systematic and Stereo Mud over at Nita's Hideaway. And other concert tickets, too. God, there's every concert coming to town that you could ever imagine. Zwan, Foo Fighters, Linkin Park. We got all sorts of tickets to give away. If you can get the pyramid. All you gotta do is get 3 and 30 seconds. And the clues are there. The clues are absolutely there. I don't know if that was an Ozzy's fault. Was it? No, not at all. I didn't think so either. All right, good. So one more round. 2, 609800 if you think you can do it. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. Here's another Best of rerun from the morning sickness. It's time now for Brady to give you all the news that no one. We call this the Brady Report brought to you by all pro shade concepts. That's Arizona's best patio shades. We're talking about it. Yesterday a guy said, I got a TV on the back bed. I put an umbrella by. Don't. And don't tell me that you've got a better plan than this. The all pro shade guys have. They have basically those blockers that come on there. You can put that on the side of the deal and keep away all the sunlight from your tv. If you're gonna have a TV on your patio, make it so you can watch it. Brady did it because he had glare all over his tv. It was completely useless until all pro shade came along and made a watchable screen instead of a glare box, which is what he had and a lot of you have as well. All Prochay.com is where you go. They put the awnings in. They come up with a plan for you. If you've got a backyard space you like to use, but the sun's kind of wrecking it. All pro shade can fix that. Beautiful, beautiful stuff. I was gonna say just go to the website, because they got a ton of examples of. Yeah. What they can do. Right. They can fix anything. Some of the setups are. I mean, you'd never think, oh, how could this work for my patio? Everything can. You got a spot. You can. It's basically adding. It's like Arizona rooms used to be, only now they're not ugly. Awful. They make it great. All prochet.com. that's where you go. Brady reported. Good Friday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello, world. We've made it. Hi. Portland, Oregon has the most strip clubs per capita in the u. S. Whoa. With one for every 11, 300 or so residents. And all their dancers are hairy. Tampa, Florida, is second. Tampa's loaded. When we're in Tampa, Mons Venus is 8 strip mall. You think it's a strip mall? It's just a massive strip club. It's huge. It's about the size of our building. Three times as long. It's just strippers as far as you can see. Chuck Powell's dad went in there once and had to come out with new pants. They sell them on the way out. Go ahead. What happened? Well, he was kicked. He was removed. Well, Brett. Well, the story goes, Chuck's dad went down with Chuck's brother who was the trainer for the Yankees. Okay. And he was laying on the field during a spring training practice and talking to the guys too much. And he was supposed to just stay in the stands, but he knew he went on the field and he took his shirt off and he laid down his dance. So somebody said, we got to get him out of here, find him something to do in Tampa. They took him down the road to the Mons Venus. And his dad's a kind of a religious man. Walked in there and sees these stripping girls and next thing you know, this girl was on. He didn't show up for anything. Like four, four hours later, they couldn't find him. And then they see him walking down the street with different pair of pants on. Like, there he is, but he's wearing different clothes. And he got in the car and they said, what happened? He said, I don't want to talk about it. The girl rubbed him until he wrecked his pants. And then somebody had to go buy him new pants. They changed him out of the Mons Venus. It was. It's. It's a longer story than that, but he lost control inside the river few times, wrecked his pants in multiple spots and left them behind, which I've never seen at a strip club before. I've seen the guys in the sweatpants walking out with the Aleutian Islands hanging down the edge there. They've done some work, but not a ton. And I feel sorry for the strippers who have to rub up against those Middle Easterners in the middle of the day. Oh, man, sweatpants. What a genius. Essentia Water has teamed up with the boxed wine brand House Wine to sell a huge box that combines water and wine, red and white. Here's the deal. The box has three spouts on it and one each. One can pour 32 eight ounce glasses of water, six gallons total. You get two gallons of water, two gallons of red, two gallons of white wine. Who's carrying that around? 40. What's the price at 45.99 each. Six gallons? Yeah. That's not light. You have to go to open original House Wine website to order it and it'll be available for limited time. Where do you keep it? The white needs to be refrigerated. Gonna clog up the whole fridge. Yeah, you gotta. It's a bad idea. Well, now with the weather, probably keep it outside, you know, keep your wine outdoors. You just got free front row tickets to Kentucky's. I keep my boxes of wine outdoors. By the way, a gallon of wine is 8 pounds. Yeah, 48 pounds. You're an alcoholic. I gotta have at least 50 pounds of alcohol with me at all times. Half of this water. Well, a third of it. It's a Neapolitan alcoholic's dream. It is. You got the clear, you got the yellow. We. We avoid the clear. The clear is the strawberry. You're going to drink the white, you're going to drink the red. And then there's just. There's eight cups of water in it. Yuck. It's the wine safety triangle. You know, one glass of red, glass of white, then water. Yeah, that's what they say, palate. But, you know, I go with the Dickel philosophy. Waters for flowers, nickels for drinking. Some of you might remember General Barry McCaffrey as the Dopey drug czar who was the guy that had the Gulf War General at that time, one of the top commanders. He's pretty solid source and he says what it's going to take to win this war. He told the BBC prepared to have about 3, 000American and British casualties. Really? General says the fighting in Baghdad and Saddam's hometown of Tikrit will be especially brutal, and he thinks that we should go there with even more troops than were the 6,000 that we're throwing in there. His point is, you know, man, let's not make this a political war because we've seen what happened to us in the past political wars. The last ones we've been in, the big ones. Yeah, last. Everyone we've been in since Korea, even Korea. Here's the last little war nugget. There's always danger of stepping on landmines because the whole country of Iraq's loaded with them. Well, Morocco is supposedly offering us 2,000 monkeys trained to step on landmines for us. How do they do that? According to the Moroccan newspaper, some of the kamikaze monkeys will be homegrown and will be imported, but they're all be trained to detonate landmines with their monkey hands. How do they know that they're trained to do it? They've never actually done it. They wouldn't be around anymore. That's right. Well, I guess they train these landmines monkeys. That's horrible. I know. We have landmine sweepers and they offered it up. What I'm. What does a landmine monkey run a guy? I don't know. We'll. We'll try to find out. But if, if that happens, Morocco better brace themselves for terrorist attacks from PETA. Man, oh man, that's one of the most horrible things I've ever seen or heard. And you know what? There's going to be a few leftover landmine monkeys that are going right out to A.J. yeah, that's my monkey. He helps me Mow the grass and do some things. And damn it all if he doesn't pounce on landmines like there's no tomorrow. I want to see the cages open up and they let out like 50 monkeys just through the desert. Just stuff blowing up left and right. Look at those monkeys. All clear. Thanks, monkeys. Then you got one monkey that gets smart. It says, no, there's not one here. It's safe here. My buddy's just stepping on those. Step on it, monkey. No, the better train them monkeys to flip them off too, because they're gonna. They're gonna learn that middle finger damn fast. There's a new trend going on. Putting on your makeup, ladies. This Instagram influencer show has a tutorial how to do it, but the trend is girl women putting on makeup that makes them look like they just finished crying. Okay, so it's like red blush under the eyes and cry face. A picture. Yeah. Post cry. Because they want everybody to ask them what's wrong. They're just. It's for attention. And they're. According to her, women look pretty. I think so. Just after crying. I think a woman. I think a crying woman is one of the most beautiful things you can create. Shouldn't have to tell her twice. That's right. One of man's greatest creations is the crying woman. Yeah, yeah, exactly. If I can help with that, I think women look beautiful sobbing. It is funny, though, because their eyes kind of pop sometimes. They look absolutely stunning after a cry. And I think it's also because we know that when they're done crying, usually the fight's over. And then make up sex, which is always really fun. So I think maybe that's why we see. We find crying women attractive. And when you see the girls, post makeup looks pretty good. Post crying face, girlies. You know how we look good when we cry? Chicks are nuts. Like, that's just weird that you would. That you all acknowledge you want to look hot, make yourself cry. Right, Right. We're going in with the soft spoken lip by M Cosmetics. Blurring the edges with a brush and then going back in with a new. What is it that she like? She goes to. It's really a monochromatic moment. I'm going in with a double cheek duck. She makes her eyes all pink. Yeah. Like, what a lunatic. Swollen from crime. You know how we all look so pretty after we cry? Yeah. Nothing says beauty quite like a post domestic violence incident. You're a mess. Nothing says like a lovely lady. I watched that OP Live show, and I just know that every time they go to the lady's house and she's done sobbing and the guy that just got done hitting her is gone and they're looking for him. Like, man, she's beautiful right now. That's as good as she can get. You better watch out. Someone's gonna steal it. Yeah, Remember, Remember? Yeah. Remember that movie, the what's love got to do with It? How pretty Tina looked after Ike knocked her around and she'd stop. Oh, that's the best. I've got some science news, ace. Oh. Oh. You pissed him off. Pissed him off with that. He's right. Don't worry. He's not gonna be around too much longer. Take your blows. You got about 500 left. Take your blows from pop pop. 500. He's swinging for the fences. While he's on his way out. I've got. I've got a new goal. Yeah. To get to Toledo. Toledo's 6,000th show. I told you I'd make it, you son of a bitch. Why am I wearing socks on my ears? I'm a teapot shorthand. Where do I walk off when I'm done, Brady? Shaking hands with ghosts over there. Hello, President Biden. How are you? Hello, my friends, Professor Brady Bogan here with your science news. There's a big study on nose picking. And they found we're not the only ones who do it. A team in Switzerland identified 12 different primates that picked their nose. Yeah. Including a long fingered lemur in Madagascar. It goes deep. It got one very long finger that can reach up into its nostril, go through its sinuses, down into its throat and then back out the mouth. Give it itself a COVID test. Sexy. I saw a guy on the 202 the other day. I had to turn my head because I happened to just be driving along at 60 plus miles an hour. And I looked to my left at the dude in this little red Accord and he's got just left finger buried in right nostril. He's doing a crossover. And he pulled that thing out. I mean, right as I'm looking. And this string. And I know he did the wrap around. Probably slopped it around between his teeth a little bit. Well, the report also mentioned this little fun fact. A previous study found people, people who eat their boogies might get fewer cavities. Don't tell people that. First off. Say boogers like a grow. He has trouble with boogers. He calls and burgers a lot. Oh, geez. That's why he said boogies. Boogers Burgers Boogies. It. It does not again, Brady. No. It does not stop cavities to eat your boogers. You have some responsibility as a newsman. Don't. I don't care that it says that. Sometimes we edit. Eat them up. Nope. They say it. They say, check the tape. Correct. All the above. That's. Careful. You're on the list now. Oh, shoot. That thing Kirby pulled out of her nose 10 years ago. I can guarantee it would stop all cavity creeps forever. You've coated her teeth for years, man. Like Earl Shive on her finger. Brand new coating. Ugh, that. Remember, the ozone layer was gone. It was the size of Australia. It was over 80s, right? Yeah, 80s. And they were scaring us in high school and stuff. The ozone layer. No more Aquanet, no more aerosols. And then they had that big special on tv. Planet Earth is dying. Bette Midler played Planet Earth and Robin Williams and Christopher Reeve and all these people were celebrities. Came in and they played parts on as humanity kills Mother Earth. As she lays in her deathbed. And it was Bette Midler. It was really poorly done. It wasn't funny at all. But they kept saying, the ozone layer goes away, none of us will have air. They just did a study. It fixed itself. It's down to about the size of my fist, I suppose. I don't know, but they can't really. But it was the size of Australia before. And all of our good air was leaking out. They were right there. And we got rid of the Aquanet. Or Aquaman changed. But the scientist in the thing said this was Earth's way of going, oops, we've got a problem. And it repaired itself like DNA. And I don't know if it has something, but I don't think we've gotten cleaner since the 80s. Like you said, the Earth shakes off everything, right? Oh, she could be here long before everybody keeps saying that, oh, we got to do this to save the planet. The planet will be fine, will be dead. And that's what we're worried about. But yeah, they did a bit. Nobody, nobody talks about that. And if it was the climate people, they'd be like, all those efforts we made in the 80s, we fixed it. But there's no credible way to prove that it was us. That the Earth might just go, all right, you know what else I wonder? And this might be just dumb guy talk. Every time we leave. Aren't we breaking something? What do you mean? Oh, yeah, we gotta break. Yeah, like, because you gotta break the Earth, Simon. Yeah. You gotta crack on and eventually it's gonna just shatter. Right? You can't keep busting out of this place. You'd think, but if it's repairing itself, it just. Right, I guess. But it just seems like a pimple. Like we're taking that for granted. Like every time we leave. Like if there's a shell around us for a reason or conspiracy theory. Maybe we go through the same hole every time. Or maybe we've never gone. Explain directv. We saw it last night. Yeah, but that's what I mean. That happened at Vandenberg Air Force Base, which is way over there in Santa Barbara. Yeah. And when you see that thing go off, it looks like it's in your yard. When it hits, the atmosphere blows up the sky. So there's gotta. That's gotta be damaging somehow, right? Yeah. Seems plausible. I'm not smart. Somebody will email me and say, no, that's not how it works. But prove it. It's like. God, I love that. Without the word faith. Stick the needle in your arm, you know, and you pull it out, it seals up again. That's what happens. Not forever, that doesn't. Have you ever seen somebody who does it too much? Yeah. Then it scabs. Then you got. If you have a bunch of. Now what happens? It just collapses. Your arms also open up. Too many times. It opens up. It never heals. That's just an open wound. It's a seeping open sore. Tower's voice. Like it'll try to scab, but it's not the words of Dewey. You don't want this break. Yeah. You see a real darn. Darn it. I'm out. The veins collapse. Eventually the veins collapse because they've been punctured too many times. I'm doing the best I can. This guy sticks a hole in me. All you gotta find new places to shoot up between the toes. I'm just giving the kids some hints. Into the penis. The eyeball. I watched a guy dribble it in his eyes once with a syringe. But the vein will eventually collapse and that skin will start to rot. That's more the heroin than the poking holes in it. But we gotta be doing something. Keep breaking that thing. Weird thoughts. Anything? I got your atmosphere right here. This is pretty cool. Yeti, manufacturer of unbelievable coolers. That's right. They have set up something for Halloween. Not the furry beast. We. We got it. Okay. I just want to make sure we weren't even a little confused. For Halloween, they've made a yeti coffin. One of them made to cool you. You can buy it at auction. The auction? They're auctioning off on the liquid deaths website. The sale ends tomorrow. Last we checked, the top bid was around $30,000. Does it keep you cool? Oh yeah, It's a cooler coffin. So if you're having a Halloween party and you want. Oh, it's not for actual bear. No. Oh, I see. More like novelty Halloween. Okay, gotcha. So you have to explain it to everybody what I was doing? No, no, I'm saying when you have it, you'd have to explain it to them. You have to be like, what is this big giant cooler shaped like that for? Worked my yeti coffin. Well, this doesn't make any sense to anybody. I don't know why you'd have that out there. Pretty sure I was explaining it now. You're right. This is a little bit r word. Hahaha. Let's get to some brandy videos. That's the ultimate posh cooler out there. Halloween. Bigger than what I thought. Yeah, it's a double door, Just a fridge on its back. All right. Seven days. You can keep things cool in the. In the yeti. In the ice. Yeah. Is that true? Yeah. Do you test that? I have stuff. Why? Forgot I had stuff in there. Oh, wait a minute. You stored stuff? Yeah. Sodas and beer in there. Look at that. It works. And you kept the yeti all packed up and then just lazily left it somewhere? Yeah. And the next time you cracked it, it was still good. Wow, this is amazing. Ice inside a cooler that lasts seven days. For when you need that, which is never ever in your life. If you haven't drained your cooler in seven days, your cooler's too big. You're out there popping an abundance of stuff. Ice cold. It's gonna take us a week to get through all this. Saddam Hussein and his boys. Saddam Hu insane and his boys have already said they're not going to OBEY President Bush's 48 hour ultimatum. But that doesn't mean they won't try to sneak out of Baghdad. Anyway. Earlier this month, Saddam sent his personal jeweler to Thailand to buy millions of dollars of diamonds, possibly so that he can convert his fortune into jewels because it's easier to move and can be sold for cash once he finds a new home. On the other hand, Sadom might have just. Just like the bling bling bling baby up in the house. His hideously evil son UD recently sent the family jeweler to Thailand to pick up a $750,000 ring. I want to Be like Kobe. Bling bling. Get me three, baby. Sodom's into the bling bling. I like that. Raise the roof. It's getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes. Bling bling. During the first Gulf War, Jerry Halva his wife made to made him shave off his mustache because he looks exactly like Saddam Hussein this time. That's why I married him. The California lobbyist is keeping the stash because he looks like Sodom and he's darn proud of it. Jerry says, quite life. Life is too short. You can't live in fear. I don't think anybody thinks I share Sodom films views. Jerry has another reason for wanting to look like the ruthless dictator. He makes crazy money out of it. Oh, he's doing. It's the guy that played the Saddam Hussein and Hot Shots. Hot Shots part Dew and the Big Lebowski. Even if you haven't seen these classic films, you might remember the trailer and Hot Shots. Sodom has a bomb dropped in his lap. That's him. Anyway, Jerry says, quote, as an actor, I hope he goes into exile and my career extends, but as an American, I hope they I get to do his epitaph. Yeah, that'd be cool. That's like the guys with. It's Sodom's mustache. If you look like him, you got to shave it because there's a reason the whole Hitler mustache face went away. Nobody really wants to look like that guy. I don't care if you can make money or not. That's a tough trip through the Crocodile Cafe. Yeah. If you've got the Hitler stash on people are gonna look at. You're gonna. It's just inviting a fist to the face. It really is. You look like Hitler. And if you're going out of your way to do it. Kind of leaning towards his views a little bit more scared to pop the Hitler guy. Oh, yeah. Thinking, wait a minute, there's probably about 50 behind him or something. But the Saddam look alike. You're like, what are you thinking? Yeah. Plus Hitler had. Yeah, he had the big army and was actually a pretty potent foe. Saddam's kind of a whack job. And finally, Brady. Finally, Texans live for barbecue. What else could go for? Find a group of Texas Gulf coast barbecue association. But 400 competitive barbecue events per year and they operate under the motto Texans are born with a mission to go out and educate people about barbecue. So maybe Texans won't think it's bad news, but they literally are breathing barbecue. That's thanks to the Microscopic bits of meat floating. The fat floats in the air. Poly unsaturated fatty acids. The stuff that's released when delicious meat fat drips onto the hot coals and sizzles all over the Texas air. Somebody get Brady a tissue. It makes up 10% of the pollutants in the air. So basically you're inhaling meat. That's the greatest news you've ever heard in your life, isn't it? I'm moving to Texas, my friend. You can smell it. There's food just when you walk down the street. You just breathe in steak. Oh baby. Thanks Brady. Good job. The last tragedy of chronic of wacky whack is this story. It never goes away. Just ask 65 year old German retiree vacationing span in Spain. Actually he can't. He's dead. He killed himself trying to give a handy release to himself. Oh no. The old man rigged up a couple of electrodes to his wiener schnitzel and died from electric shock. The police eventually found him lying on his bed, pornography in the VCR and completely stiff. That is the worst way to die. Michael Hutchinson Excess. Always be remembered as the guy who died whacking off. Never the guy who created music. The guy who died whacking off. I don't know why I'm doing this story for our Lent thing, but I know in Japan. Come out with the song. What is it? Som super onasm machine. Onasm is a fancy word for pleasuring yourself. This machine is works like a ceiling fan. In other words, you can have you pleasure yourself without any hands. It basically is an artificial coochie mounted on a stand that goes above you like an oscillating fan. But instead of moving from side to side like a fan, the device moves forward and back along your engorged Asian rod. It does all the work for you. It says you can control the speed through without a vibrating remote control. So. Wait a minute. It's every man's dream. It's the vagina with no body attached. For 335 bucks you can get a song. But it also comes with a male attachment. For the ladies or. Automated backdoor pounding They've got what? Wait a minute. Say it again. Automated. Yeah, so the thing knows when it's time attachment on it. Oh, I see. Yeah. Ah, well, I might have to order one of those, Brady, because that wouldn't count in our. In our Lent thing. Pick up your psalm at Walgreens today? No, it's not available there. But there you go. I am so intrigued on what that might look like. Would it be frightening? It actually gyrates and moves and there's. And you have a remote control in your hand. Oh, it's kind of creepy. Remote control box. And I guess the theme from Speed Racer plays in the background. Anime pussy. Not sure I understand exactly. It's a whole new Pokemon. Yeah. Pussymon. I choose you. You will battle vagina Mind Vagina saw. I will not fight that. It has warts. All right. It's 6:33 here in the morning sickness. I am thoroughly baffled. I'm gonna draw some pictures of what that could look like. Pikachu can chew Pikachu off vagina man. Come. We have battle Pikachu. Choose Fetch. No Pikachu, please. The whole thing is in just trying to get Pikachu off of it. Used to love the Pokemon. I gotta find a website with that thing on it. It's 98K upd, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. 98 KU. Putting the fu back in. Funny. Homburg's morning sickness. 98 KUPD. This guy says, hey guys, I have a bachelor party Saturday. It's for me and I want to go to a strip club. Which do you prefer in the area? I want your advice on this. Just letting you know it's my first time ever going to a strip club. So I hope you can help me. Adrian. Not a big fan of the strip club. Been a while for me that. But what. What area? He doesn't care. Just. Anyway, I don't. I don't know. Strip clubs are cut. I think maybe you should hire out. Isn't there a thing now, the Internet where they'll come to you and they're better? Oh, you get catfish there a lot of times too. I had a buddy who did that one time for a bachelor party. It's like, whoa. You don't look like the picture. Yeah, the filters are. The handler comes over. Yeah, well, the handler's funny. That's what makes that great. They got a guy with a gun standing behind T. Shine rolls in. He's always got his weapon displayed. It's great. I don't know. I don't like you're asking the wrong guy for strip clubs. I only know about lay girls. Bourbon street guy. Still. I haven't been in a while. But last time I was there it was. But with only fans and stuff. I can't imagine anybody actually going and stripping in person anymore that's any good. You know, like really hot chicks used to strip and I don't think that happens. And I don't think that's a thing anymore. I think it's a lot of girls who just want to pay for their kid and they've got the Pringles tummy and you still kind of see it when the. When the black light misses and they turn, you can see the Pringles tummy kind of do that. Everybody knows what I'm talking about. Give us a few minutes. The emails will start coming in. I already got messaged. Jaguars. Vader recommends that. So it's like Vader Vader recommendations. That's a lot. I'm guessing Jaguar sounds like a lot of thick asses. I think jaguars is the thick ass capital. There's Amazons down on central. I don't think I've been to a strip club. And since your bachelor party and I was there for about eight minutes. Yeah, I know. Sunny's has redone a little bit of their interior over the past couple of years. Have they. Yeah. Fixed it up a little bit. Yeah. The girls exteriors are the only important thing. They fix those up that I don't know. They have some good ones. I think. I. I think they do. Does that. But I still own it. Your friends still own it. The daughter. Oh, the daughter's got it. Okay. Okay. But I think it has been restored. I don't. Is he alone? No, he died. That's right. I forgot about that. Both. Right. His family. Both Bourbon street and. Oh, no. He owned both of them. Yeah, that's right. I forgot about that. Like, Brady just texted crazy girls for sure. Girls are okay, but the wings are great. There it is. That's from Cody. Okay. Cody's nailed it. That's really. At our age, I don't need to be cteased by some meth addiction. Give me some good. Give me some good chicken wings and some nudity that I can tolerate. And that's pretty nice. I. I'm with. I'm with that guy. And most of them, I'd laugh at Brady for that. But I think if I asked, like, Brady's guys will go to strip club. Who has the best food? Crazy girls has good wings. You can get a nice prime rib over there at lay girls Essex off 43rd and Indian School. No, I'm not doing that. Regardless. No. Years ago, I mean, the. The highlighter had a reputation for one, but that was. They were great during the day because they had all them car salesmen coming in there right off Alabama. But yeah, you go over to 43rd in Indian school and then. Yeah, you Know the fun game you play with the stripper is connect the dots with her bullet wounds. This one happened when I was 17. This one's 23. This one's 38. How old are you? We'll get there. This is 40. Like, the bullet wounds are like rings of a tree. This is to tell you how old you are. I put a date on each one after I was shot. You need to get out of this business. If you get shot as a stripper, you're a bad stripper. You just have money thrown at you. You're not. Bullets. Just go to those real nice ones on the off a University in 32nd, right above a car garage or something. I like the ones that are just, you know, it can't be up to code. There's no. There's one, I think it's on Indian School that just says live nude. And I'm like, what other kind of thing? What's the other alternative? I want them alive. I think live is a huge important part of the. You don't need that. I'm not assuming they're all corpses or on television. Live, nude. This place doesn't have a name. Buildings red. It's not up to code. There isn't an egress in it. It's the. It's the Great White Strip Club. Because you're not getting out of there if something goes wrong. Maybe we'll change that up for Halloween. Dead. Yeah, Dead. Nudes. If I'm going for nudes, I'm assuming the live part. Why did you have to. Had you had a problem with that in the past? Oh, they changed the name. I remember when, during one of Mangoops bachelor parties back in the day, we went to some place called Pantera and it's like, pantera. Let's do that. Well, we didn't realize it was at 43rd Avenue in Indian School. And. Yeah, and it was basically like Animal House. You mind if we dance with yo dates? I mean, we were the. We had to get wanded going in and stuff. And they're like looking at us like we were the tokens. Like, what are you. These are not. This Pantera club has changed. You hear this? And one time here. It's getting a little bright in here. Hi, fellas. Mind if we stare at your lady friends? Sure thing, sunshine. Have a seat next to me. So how long you been a cop, Tyrone? I'm not an officer of the law. That sure is a nice labia. I just enjoy the brown sugar. I like when the pink part flashes. I suppose you could stay. I still think you're a policeman. Oh, that's crazy talk. You got any of that chronic they talk about? Hennessy for everybody. It's the Boom Boom Room. Dying to go to the Boom Boom. I need a friend who. I think Brett would have to be the one I go with because you recognize trouble quickly. Let's go look. The pictures of the Boom Boom Room are incredible. It seems awesome. They play fun music. It looks beautiful. The drink specials are amazing. And I'm like, boom Boom Room. It's got a great name. I just don't think we're allowed in there. I don't want you in there, make a mockery of stuff, ordering iced teas. You're gonna. They're gonna definitely think we're cops if I drag your ass in there. One iced tea, please. You come to the Boom Boom Room, get yourself an iced tea. He's an officer of law. That's ridiculous, Tyrone. Of course I'm not an officer of the law. I'm not taking my teetotaler into the Boom Boom Room. Don't worry. I'll be drinking the yak. I need to do smashes. Like, it throws down the good stuff. And I wouldn't necessarily know what to order. Glass and you will yak. I'll have a. This man's having a stroke. Yeah, I don't. I don't have. There's one. There's a. I don't even. I can't even say the name of this place. But it's. It's terrible. And it's next to Luke Air Force Base. Called Coyote Cat, but he calls it the. Oh, the SC. Titty. Oh, you can't say sorry. Yeah. Yeah. Yes, it's. That's what it's called. You know about this place? Yes. It's called Coyote Cab, but this guy just called it the. If you Google. Yeah. If you Google that, it'll. It will come up in Google and that will tell you the place. Yeah. If I Google, you used to be able to. Yeah. The crappy Booby on the rhymes. Yes. In cusses. Yep. That's an actual, like, nickname of Coyote. Yes. Everybody calls it that. Yeah. I've never heard of it. Is it because it's gross? No. Well, best B and C squad in the Valley, so no A's, but it's got a good B and C squad. That's not a high thing. That's not something I'm interested in. They call it the. The Crappy Booby, only it's. I'm being Real. I'm. I'm being Mormon about it. Right. I'm not allowed to say it, but. Luke, you know about. Have you been. I went one time during the day because we were across the street at Sage and Sand or something, and we show up, literally, and there was no strippers there. Well, nobody showed up. So we're like sitting at the bar drinking, like three dollar kilt lifters, watching the View on TV at the strip club. That is a true story. Yes. And I've never been back. And none of the strippers were there. No, no, they all called in sick or nobody showed up. Yeah. How about that? Wow. This says the one on Indian school. Talking about the. Is that the dump across from the VA Hospital? I've never been, but I see it. And they have steak nights there. It seems kind of gross to eat food around all that crotch. Great show. Once again, signed Jim. You're right, Jim. Yeah, but they do. Sometimes they have good food and, I don't know, Highlighter used to have a really good cheeseburger. Did they? Yeah. You're the only person that reviews the food. You have to be. I. I can't do it. I remember we went to that place and that guy got us free food. He's like, I wanted to show you around. I wanted to do some stuff with the station. Like, all right. So the sales guy had the account. It's like Monday afternoon. And that was one of the best prime ribs I've ever had. Prime rib, mashed potatoes, green beans. And he plops it down in front of me and I'm like, this is like good old fashioned home cooking. I'm kind of hesitant to cut in. And we're sitting right up on the stage. And then some, like, within a foot of me, some gynecological experiment starts happening. I'm like, could you please? I'm eating. Like, I don't need to. I finished my prime rib. Yeah, come on. I can see the birth canal. And let's get to the dance. Yeah. When I'm done and they give me 30 minutes, it's like swimming. I don't need you doing that. That's disgusting. My garlic mashed potato. You're getting pubes into my taters. All right, so you Google it. There it is. How about that? The crappy booby is a real thing. And they. They acknowledge it so much. So. Oh, it comes up in the. Under the Yelp reviews, too. Coyote Cabaret. And then you read right there, and they seem okay with it. And there's the name again, right there. In their own review. Yeah. Best strip club in Phoenix, though, is Dirty's. And that's the one. Larry's friend. That 30s. No, I think crazy girls. One of you. Oh, is it? I thought he had dirties. Dirty's is that old Denny's. That's right there on Grand Avenue. Yeah, that's right. Okay. No, I'm scared of that. Yeah. So the answer to your question, Adrian, I had to pick them. But I think we're all gonna agree that the Coyote Cab is the place to go. Yelp was about 4. The top 10 according to Yelp. Yeah. Curious. Should we go to the top? Hey, number two is Eric's family barbecue. How'd they do that? They did it in Play Girls is two. Dirty's is one. Featuring the big Daddy Burger. Of course you've seen that one. That's how you know the strip club is not greatest at. The picture of a burger. And it says $9. It's. That looks like it's ready. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It looks like a jack in a box. It's a BK. It's a $9. That's a good burger. What else goes on at Dirty's Topless sports bar. Looks like I know where lunch is today. Les Girls has a picture of a girl that you'd never see in Lay Girls. No, the Great Alaskan bush company's still a thing. That's unbelievable. That that place. Because Brett suggested it. I googled the crappy booby. Yeah, he just did. Yeah. But the. Did you see the first, like two out of the first three stories are. I got pink eye. No, we didn't read the stories. The crappy booby. Well, the owner of the cab would tell you. Well, that's just the competition messing around with my reviews. Nobody gets pink eye. The first guy was saying he took his buddy there and the stripper bent over in front of him and he smashed his face into her. Oh, and he got. He got well on the west side. Yeah, you can. You're not allowed to do that. You just hear that? Record scratch. All right, patrons, once again, a reminder not to mash your friends faces into the ladies vaginas. They're here for your entertainment, but not to be touched. Well, they used to do that at the Alaskan Bush Company. Used to do bush dives. Oh, yeah. I don't remember that. Yeah, I know. I think it's still a thing. I don't know if you drove by the bush company. I've never been there. I'm not going in there. And the reason why is. Because when I would drive by, there's dudes outside with paper sacks because you had to bring your own alcohol in there. I remember the middle of the day. I drove by that thing a couple of times. So many times I've been, yeah, there's dudes standing outside waiting for the doors to open with their. Their keystone. Because I don't know if it's still byo, but it used to be you bring your own alcohol in there, and guys just couldn't wait to get in. Weird. I think strip clubs are weird. I got profiled when they did an appearance with Lisa Ann at whatever that one is on grand. Is it sugar 44 or something? Sugar 44. When I was driving. There's another one I forgot when I was driving my black Impala. Oh, that's right. And I left and I got pulled over. Cop even said, what are you doing you're driving this around here for. You stole this from a guy who stole this. This is stolen from a stolen. You'd stole it from a black guy who stole it. Right. This Impala's never been purchased. Comes back up and goes, I can't believe you check out. Everything works out in your Impala SS over here in Grand Avenue. Drug addict. Good luck, white man. You're on your own. Yeah. Grand Avenue for Ivan. I think it was the Bush company, but it was years ago. Our own Bob Weaver downstairs. Well, don't sell them out now. Oh, good. Way to go. Well, they used to advertise on one of the stations that he's working at. Weaver was down there a lot. Yeah. And they. You're still on the top. Just immediately. He's a family man. He tells the story. So you shouldn't let him do it. You're throwing him under the bus. Guy was there every day, I think. Let him tell the story. Yeah, exactly. So I can't answer your question because I just don't know. This guy says the highlighter used to have all you could eat. Crabs and clams. Yep. They've lobsters and stuff like that. The highlighters always sell them out. But the boys from the mo. Money pond. Yeah. Would take us there a few times. The highlighter. Yeah, Back in the day. That was the one I took Colin to that time. And Marilyn Manson wandered over to the table and I. I wouldn't stop paying her for lap dances for. She liked Colin and her. When she waved that clam in his face, I could smell it and it smelled like a cigar. And that's when I just broke. I went into my pocket. Colin had some event and he was in like a button up. She looked really nice. He was all done up like he was slacks. But I'm in a. Go figure. I remember being in my Greg Lloyd Steelers shirt and a pair of shorts that didn't even come close to matching that. I looked a little bit like the kid in first grade who peed his pants and they just gave him clothes. And she comes over the table and I just joked with her for a sec. You're fun. You guys are fun. You want to dance? I'm like, he does. And he looked at me because when she walked away, I'm like, is that. I think that's Brian Warner. I think that's the. The artist formerly known as Marilyn Manson. And now that's what he does. Face white, didn't look right. And then was dancing and then pulled her flapjacks out and they were pierced. And we're. I'm laughing because I'm like, those are the worst boobs in the world for a. And she was real long. She looked just like Marilyn Manson. And then she pulled her. Her bottoms over to the side and revealed that there was one of those hooks on there too. Like she had that thing pierced. And it had, you know. Yeah, but it had the thing you put in a cow's nose. It was huge. And then. And then she pulled it aside and put her leg up on her foot up on Colin's shoulder and then just started to wave it in his face. And I'm watching his head go side to side and then I turned my head because I'm. Is that. Am I smelling what he. Is that what I think it is? It was a combination of old butt and a cigar ashtray. And. And so I just. I remember as I turned my head, I was laughed. She wanted. Had nothing to do with me. And I was all right with that. And I pulled out a wad of tens and I just put them down. I'm like, keep this going for a while. And she goes, all right, you guys are fun. And then at the end when I didn't have any money left, I must have given her 100 bucks. At the end she goes, I'll give you one for nothing. And then it was like a 10 minute song. And it was so. It was like ACDC and some mix the DJ did. Like he knew he was in on it too. And she, her only move was to pull that thing to the side and whip it around like. Yeah. And it never ever became normal. Like it was always a bad Stink that would never. Once we got used to it, it was. The only other one I smelled worse was that butterscotch and salmon smell that came off of that lady. She was wearing pants. That was just a weird. It was a lady who got excited and started joking around about being excited and then got on all fours and then emitted a musk that permeated my entire life. Like, that is like Grandma Candy and like. Like a barbecue. Fresh barbecued salmon. Like your first scent of cheap tequila when you're young. You never forget it. Yes, it was. It's like Goldstock. I can't ever have that again. It's gonna make me puke. But she started. She got on her all fours and then started to move her butt around laughing. And then I'm like, that's. That's salmon and that's butterscotch. That's hard candy. I know that. And that's a butterscotch salmon. And that is not a good combination. And I remember turning to the guy next to me and going, do you smell butterscotch and fish? Yeah, I think it's. I think I can be more specific. It's salmon. I look forward to them in Palladio. Butterscotch. Butterscotch Salmon is a great band name. We are Butterscotch Salmon. I'm convinced that she had eaten salmon and then washed it down, like, on the way out of the restaurant so long and reached into that bin that what she thought was minced, but it was just butterscotch. And it. It was like asparagus. It came out of her through that. Brett, the reason you saw that cheeseburger on that review is because they changed the name of the Alaska and Bush Dive to the Cheeseburger Special. Who's the Big daddy? Let's go there for lunch today. Yeah. Brady's not going to the Tap Drag anymore. That's it. Forget it. I'm going to Dirty's. John, let Brady, 80 miles away. Dad, I need a Big Daddy burger for nine bucks and a snooch in my face. John, let Brady know that Band Aids has really good chili dogs. I hope that means food. No way. Challenge accepted. You don't have a strip club chili dog. I'll go in there and watch. Eat one of those. I think I'd tip you before I tip the girls. Look at him go. Yeah, I'm just gonna stuff money in Brady's underwear while he eats that chili dog. This is disgusting. You think that's bad? Wait till Brian Warner comes back over here, starts waving that cigar ashtray in Our face thing was horrible. And it was, you know, well worn, we'll say. When she whipped it out, that cow nostril ring was. It was an anchor pulling stuff out. If things were way too big and it was too heavy, too heavy on the ring. And that thing was stretched out like a natural graph. Yes. Well, you don't want to knock on that door. You don't want that opening up at all. Guys, here's a true yellow review. The body shop. Years ago, my buddy went in there as a joke. This old ass lady comes out and tripped in her high heels, decided to tell us, sat and sit down and decided to tell us her kids were older than. Than us. It was gross. She had Pringles. Pringles body, probably. But Pringles tummy is the one that I like the most because that's clearly where the baby pushed out her. Everything else recovered but Pringles. It's that little space above the belly button that turns into Pringles. And then they move wrong. It's just a big old batch of Pringles. There's no. There's no fixing that. You can go get your mommy makeover all you want. That's. You're always going to have Pringles tummy a little bit uncertain angle. Apparently chef Rudy is a town renowned chef and he's the highlighter chef. Oh, so there you go. Michelin star at the highlighter. 12th Street Bar and grill is what they call it. You can't tell the wife. Place is packed. We're going to the bar and grill over there. 12th Street. I don't. Yeah, and you shouldn't tell your wife ever. I'm gonna go watch the meth addicts dance naked. Okay. Be home by seven, John. I'm a bit of a connoisseur. There were two Alaskan bush companies, number one and number two. One was bring your own alcohol or beer because it was full nude. The other one was just topless and they served alcohol. Okay, I didn't know that. So if they show you the beef, you can bring your own. You got a BYO oh, now there's the Chicas cabaret. Used to be Mustang Sally's. I don't know Chicas. Is that where the Browns go? Well, yeah, that's where the Cleveland Brown fans are. Chicas. I just like the ones that don't have any windows. The egress ingress is like, there's no way. It's up to code. I've done additions. Yeah, but that's. They have to have entrance and exit so like you have to have that. But the one that just has that strange steel side door in the back and then. Yeah, and that's it. It's like you're going into a great white concert or something. Yeah. You're gonna burn down as you're going to burn down in there. If you go by. I think what you look for is look at the cars in the parking lot. If you see like rusted out Corollas or something, the dancers aren't that good. That's like Christie's back in the day. I mean, they saw mercedes and stuff. BMWs in the parking lot. I disagree. I think you see a rusted out Corolla, you got a shot with her. Well, the girls. Girls with a Ferrari are gonna ignore me if she's. She's got a car with rust on it in Phoenix. She's traveling to dance. I. She's a go getter. And I really appreciate she's doing it because she loves it. She's passionate about her work. She's not in it for the money. Apparently it was half topless, half nude at the Bush Co. John. So we're. You're still safe to go there. They have the best billboard also. It says all thighs matter. What is half topless? Yeah. So half the bar is cut in half. So like. Yeah, that's what that guy was saying. Yeah. One half was bring your own. I thought. Apparently it's still that way. I don't know. Exposed. A single boo. You don't get this kind of conversation in chat. GPT. They're talking about waffles. Yeah. For breakfast. Yeah. And you know, our dismemberment and pee pee and booby talk isn't for everybody. But it's got to be better than waffles v Pancakes. Guys, trust us. Us, Luke Air Force guys. Know anything out there? The bouncer, the bartender and the dancer are all the same. Big woman. Jesus. That's at the cabaret. The Luke air Force Base 1. Is that the one? That must be the one out there. Oh, this can't be true. Or the crappy booby. The set word. Crappy? Yeah. Crappy booby. That's. That's the. Yeah. Coyote Cabaret. Well, that's crazy. I didn't realize there were this many. The simple question of a guy who's never been. And it's your bachelor party party. So going to the strip clubs kind of. I'm like you. I thought they were a thing of the past. Yeah, I'm pretty sure you just order in though. Only fans. It's like doordash. Brady's the only one who goes to a strip club. Throws dollar bills at the chef. How about another big daddy? One more plate of sushi, guys. You used to do Brady's rainy day recipes. Can we have a new weekly cinnamon segment? Brady's strip club food review. Yeah, we should have Dale have to like his segment get sponsored by a strip club and he's got to go there. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. 98K. The best of the morning's sickness is on the air. 98 KUPD. Do any of you people do any actual work? The best of all. Homburg's morning sickness. And it's time for the entertainment drill. It's brought to you by our friends@reactdefense.com the home of tactical black self defense training. Get on that right now. It is a beautiful time for you to get involved in this. The weather's starting to be good so you can start showing up and realize you know what, I can continue this getting in shape program with a little extra here. I can jog outside if I feel like, ride my bike, do whatever and then roll over to reactdefense.com and start practicing your skills of the new you. It's an awesome thing. Don't be a victim. They teach you that first and foremost learn how to not look like or be a victim. Head on a swivel. Your spatial awareness is wildly important and knowing exactly what's going on around you is the key to not being victimized. Bad guys look for people who are asking for it. That's a terrible thing to say, but it's very true. Don't be one of those people. Simple as that. They'll show you how. And they'll also show you if it does go pear shaped, that you got a lot more skill in you than you know. Your confidence will rise, your physique will look better and you're just going to be smarter and better at being you. Reactdefense.com it's the home of tactical black Brady entertainment. The rock says he has a few party tricks up his sleeve depending on the age of the crowd. Right? He says for kids, he'll of course no dildo into Maui from Walmart and sing and make his pecs bounce. But for adults, with his tequila, I'll do a thing where I can pick up a grape. Not with my hands, not with my feet, not even with my mouth, with his butthole. But his publicist cut him off and says, don't don't answer the question. He can pick up a grape with his butt cheeks. That would be my guess. Yeah, I can do that. But I guess he's good at it, because I am pristine back there. Brady could pick up one of those Australian avocados. Oh, man. Easy. My neighbors could pick one up and throw it at you. Watch this. What's up? Whoa. Be a Chapman fastball right at you. Roll this Chapman avocado just hit our door. What's up? Patrick Mahomes trainer Bobby Stroop says his dad, Bob. Dad bod. Is specifically designed for what he does. He said he likes to keep. If you're working with a quarterback, keep him at 14. Body fat. That's right. I'm gonna be out there and do that thing. I get on my. Get on my. I get on my bike and I ride a little bit. But I don't want to lose too much weight because if I start losing all that weight, I'm gonna be. I'm gonna be too skinny. And then people knock me down. I'll fall right on. On the ground. Right now, I look like a. Like a 68 year old woman who does mall walking. But he keeps them at that to be able to absorb some of the force. Yeah, A little more fat. Like a fat girl. Handle that. Get up on top of me. Do that thing. Howdy ho, neighbor. I love when Patrick Mahomes gets going. He was on a downhill speech the other day that just got faster. And boom houred. And boom houred more and get out there and do that next thing. Got there. Travis Kelsey hit that ball. That was a good catch. He'd be all right. I just gotta play better. Bill Murray was at the Phillies game Monday to see his Cubs play ball. By the end of the night, he was attending a bar at South Philly. These seconds. I'm just gonna break out into song here. I'm Kansachi, so I like. I won't show you my other side. My. You know, Travis, Kelsey's girlfriend's not the only one who can sing. I'll find it. And if Brett ever gets this video going, I won't have to stall so long because I know what he's up to. Just played off Spotify. Brett, why would you wait so long on that? Yeah, we had a good game last night. I'm just gonna stall a little longer until I get. Sorry. It's their computers. Gotta tune my. Tune my instruments. See? Yeah. Computer's taking too long. Get my backup music. Damn it. You still giving Andy Reid your Fries. Sometimes he gets my nuggies. Sometimes I. Sometimes I get my nuggies. Sometimes the sisters win. Sometimes I win. Rashee Rice likes my nuggies too. Get him on them. Know I'm talking about. It's not working. God damn it. Someday we'll find it. I'll just do it myself. Lovers, dreamers and me. Damn you, Brad. It's the computer. You tease me on the screen and you never got. It's the computer locked up. Well, it's too late now. Never too late. It's never too late for the connection that's right. Oh, once that get my arm. There's so many songs about rainbows and what I think. I think that Travis, Kelsey, Travis, Kelsey's girlfriend should do this. She should put this out. I think this song she should do Rainbow. Rainbows are vision after the game Illusions Every day. Every this month, Travis, I go over to him, I said, don't worry about it. You and me, we're the rainbow connection. We're gonna make this happen. Is that a nice thing he did? Almost worth it. Brett. I'm sorry. Oh, what happened? John Travolta has his eye on a lady. Since when? Margot Robbie. She's pregnant, you weirdo. Yeah, he what? He was on this Australian podcast and he said he fell for her after seeing her on the show panam. That's not when he fell for. We all struggle for at the same time. That's not fair. It's not only a dream. I just. Listen, I told you, I didn't. I didn't ever see Wolf. Wall Street. I don't even know what that is, and you're driving me crazy. I saw her in the Pan Am thing that I mentioned that nobody knows about. And that's when I fell in love with her. Because I fell in love with her in a classy way, not some naked weirdo way like you guys. I'll tell you right now, Brady, I'm in love with that pregnant lady. She's going to have a new jet. I'm going to give it. I'm going to give her everything. And she wants to be a pilot. I can help with that. I can totally train her. You can get. I'm playing in my backyard. It's going to be amazing. That's when he said he fell for. She says, you want to be a pilot? She wants to be a pilot. I am a pilot. My kids. I have a second kid named Jet. I lost one, but I get another one and she's going to make more babies. She reminds me Of. She reminds me of Kelly. I'm just alone. I need that. Brett, it's not you, it's me. It's all right. Keep it in the. That's right. Keep Mongo close. She starts going Italian, you know she'll never go back. So they asked her husband, Tom Ackerley, what he thought about that. He says, that twink comes near my wife, I'll knock him out. Ackerley's upset. Yeah. Watch this. Brett Travolta wants to bang Mathia. How about it? Yeah, it's an Italian thing. Hi. Hey, Brett. How are you? It's John Travolta. I'm here to have sex with your wife. Surprisingly, yeah. She's in the back. Go nuts. Spread him. Mr. Travolta's here. Act like a lady. Open your legs and be a lady. Thank you. I appreciate that. How are you doing? How are you doing there, Matiah? Did you wash that clam for Mr. Travolta? We got company. I would appreciate if you did wash the clam. That would be nice. I would appreciate that. Tells Ackerley he's got nice legs. Ackerley, why don't you go over there and just put your legs up on this chair while I bang your pregnant wife? That is the creepiest thing a man can do. And John Travolta has done some creepy stuff. I used to, like, chase people around masseuse parlors with my butthole in the air and try to get them to touch it. Now I just. I like pregnant ladies. And then Brady takes over from there because he likes lactating ladies. So it works out. It's in there. He and Kelly Preston's daughter released a single about two weeks ago. Isn't it his daughter, too? I said that. You said Kelly Preston. He and Kelly Preston. Oh, I see. Well, that's when you said that. I thought they released a single year meaning no. Brady and Kelly daughter released a single. And it's all videos of Kelly. It's kind of like, oh, it's a tribute. I. I did see that with you. I forgot about that ess. We sang about it. And then I told her. I'm like, you know what? I would love, like, this tribute to your mom to show this to Margot Robbie to show this to your new mother. It's like, so hot. I'm going to bang her even though she's pregnant and I'm gay. Movies out this weekend. The killer's game. That's the Dave Bautista. He's a hitman who's diagnosed with termal illness. Decides to go out on his own terms. Hey, doesn't he. He hires a hitman to kill him. I think it's the movie he. Oh, my God. His daughter. He does. Oh, what a poor girl. Yeah. This is my daughter. This is Jeanette. She's a beautiful girl. And she didn't get. Oh, my God. She looks exactly like. Look at that. Look at the profile. Oh, my God. It's Shantivot in a wig. Oh, my God. Tony Monero in the flesh. If we just put her in the white suit, no one would know. You shave her head and put a beard on. I don't think you have to put the beard on. Now I'm bald. John Travolta. I'm not the hairy John Travolta that I used to be. And she's. She's adorable. I look at her and I see myself and I'm like, God. You know who would really appreciate this? Margot Robbie. Look at that face. She might as well just. Her name might as well be Vinnie Bobarino. This is my daughter. She looks so much like me. Just call her Vinny A Barbarino. Look at that. That's the creepy. There is no DNA test needed. She's just. Wow. She had Kelly Preston as a mom and she looks. She's got nothing. Yeah, dad. Her best friend, Cindy Boom Boom. Yeah, that's Boom Boom. I took her down to the Boom Boom Room. I guess Washington never got in there. Yeah. Cindy Boom Boom Wash. His girl. It's a girl. Sweat hawks. Mr. Kate, Mr. Kata. Yeah, that's right. You know me. Cindy Boom Boom. That's the best friend. And then she's got the Garcia Epstein is her name. And then Horseshack. Same person. Wow. I've never seen a kid look more like their parent. And that. And that is weird. I don't like it. It's like AI invented John Travolta's kid. What's amazing is that video as you're watching, there's like every other little scene was in some kind of private jet. He's flying some of them. And, you know, he's got a 747. He's got. Every time. It's a collection. Every time I look into her eyes, I see her mother. It reminds me of mom, because when I used to look in her eyes, I'd see myself too. Poison will not be touring in 2025. Oh. Because Brett Michaels needs a little health tune up. Diabetes and family time. Hair plug. 2026, maybe their 40th anniversary. He's got to go to Turkey and get new plugs. Yeah, he's a Steeler fan. You lay off of him. Brett still needs the plugs. Might come over for a couple of games. You're invited. Brett, if you're out there. He used to live here. You're invited. But 2026 is 40th anniversary of the. Look. What? The cat drag. That's the 40 years. 40 years. So they plan on doing it. Those are some hot broads on that album cover, too. As hot as Travolta's daughter. A little more feminine, actually. She's cute, but she still looks too much like John. Yeah, you couldn't do that. It's like, oh, what's the hair? It would be even worse, like. Yeah, you get my hair. Don't get it in my hair. What are you doing? You just. Why did you just do that in my head and I got to watch my hair? Sorry. I, I, I. Whatever. Strut is just like. Oh, yeah. Walking down the street, the paint cans in his hand and stuff. I'm gonna turn over. Do me from behind. Don't do that. Stop it. Seriously. I'm John Travolta's daughter. Why don't you believe me? I completely believe you. Yeah, instant. The second you enter. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. This is amazing. I can't take it anymore. I gotta turn over. Can I call you Mr. Carter? Just whatever you do, just dunk my hair. My Cheese Royale. My God. Cheese Royale. You don't go down on. You don't go down on a girl because, like, the Royale with Cheese. It's disgusting. I would love to. Now I want to have sex with John Travolta's daughter. That looks just like her, just here. Oh, my God. She should be in the squares. Oh, my God. You got it right there. Don't stop. Oh, you're hitting something. Ow. Ah. Oh, my God. I couldn't stay. Hard, right? Laugh so hard. Oh, my God. Wella, Willa, let me get on top. No, no. I'll be a reverse cowgirl. No. Oh, my God. That's so big. I'm gonna cream. Don't, Brady. Don't you do it. It's weird when you did it. I can't help it. You did it. It was weird. Don't do that. But it's right. I'm gonna cream. Huh? Playing this in the background. All right. Now I'm in the mood. She comes in in lingerie that looks like the white suit. Are you ready for me to rock your world? I'm telling you right now. I'm about to your face. Please stop talking. Why? What's the problem? Do you like gonna whisper in your ear? I want you inside me. I can't do this anymore. Something's wrong with us. It's Friday for sure. Touch my B hole, he gets kicked out of the Phoenician. God. All right. That's disgusting. She looks too much like him. Had to do it. Had to do it. I don't even know. I hope she's of age because it just got weird. And I hope John gets Margot. I think that would be a nice thing for all Italians. I agree. Got a rough go, never won a war. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said, fully erect. Cease and desist at once. The rest of home Bird's morning sickness. This is the Big Red Radio. It is time for your Guadalupe Squares with your new host of the Squares, Thriller Bergeron. Thriller. Oh, thank you, Chancellor. Let's see what we got here. Starting off top left square, we got Biden, Harris and Walls. It's not too bad. Not too bad. Hey, good morning, Walls. Really here? Is it Cody? I sure am. I'm right here. And that's great stuff. How are you there, Brady? Good to see you. My son got so a great job too. I like you guys. I'm a bit of a knucklehead. I say some stupid stuff. I killed a Chinaman in Tiananmen Square once. It was an accident. I. I didn't know. What's your favorite place to shop? Cold menards. Oh, yeah, menards. I like menards too. That's a good place up there. I like that. I have picked the proper man. Don't you think, Cody? Hi, Cody. I'm close. I just want tampon Timmy to be here. Do you need a tampon right now, Cody? Yes. All right. If you need one, I've got a couple for you. So it'll work out great, I think. Start it. All right, top, middle, square, we got John Travolta. Oh, my God. It's so great to be. It's my sister's birthday. It's Ellen's birthday today. 85. 85 years old. Those Travoltas are getting so old. She couldn't come in. No, she can't make it anymore. She's in a bed with Jimmy Carter. What? Yeah. She looks worse than Jimmy. Oh, my God. It's so good to see Cody. There she is. Cody throws. She here right now. Oh, my God. Come on in here. Alan Travolta. My sister made it. Happy, Happy. Birthday, Ellen. Happy birthday to you. Ellen. Happy birthday. Hey, John, thanks for the happy birthday. I really appreciate it. Ostrovoltas are pretty much similar. Ellen, so happy to see you. Ellen, so great to see you. So great to see you. All right. Oh my God. Let me get serious for a second. We're trying to raise money to stop preemie babies. What? That's right. We just learned right now. I'm looking right at now. We gotta put an end to this. This is a nightmare for some people. I am proof it's possible to. To come back from that. Not really. Because my current 85 year old sister would probably beat you in a walking race. Ouch. All right, We've started a new charity to bring back Jet. All right. Top right square. You know he'll always be here. We got exactly right. And you know what I'm so happy about today, Cody. What's that? Is that Corey? Okay. Thank you. I think you just said I love you. I didn't hear him. I don't listen to Toledo. He's a cuck. Liberal cuck. Anyway, it's so great to see. Finally we've deported Mo. She's gone. It's great. We got rid of her. And we have a white man doing a job that a white woman wouldn't do for a long time. So we let a Mexican do it for a little bit. See what happened? See what happened? We needed a white guy to come clean it up. And we don't even need a whole white guy. What like a guy who's like 68? You got a half off sale? We got. Yeah, we got a half off sales. We don't have to pay half. It's great. Amazing deal. It's tariffs on his legs. That's what I like it. Melanie. Melania endorsed me today. Melania Trump. I just got that information. Someone called Melania. Oh, is that. Oh yes, Melania. I love her. Very nice. Here we go. Who are you voting for? That's what I like to say. Give me a second. He doesn't want to be deported either. Duh. I gotta say the right thing here. All right, we got Mil Lep Square taking time out of his busy schedule being old Howard Stark. Wow. Shots fired. I mean, I gotta tell you, this kid's got a great voice, but what an asshole. I mean, first day, you're already taking shots at the guy? Listen, Red Robin. Yeah. Did you hear this new kid over here? He should be part of the whack pack. You see him walk? He's like a Thriller zombie. Don't you agree? Brittlejuice Baba. Bastard. Where did you find him? Get him out of here. I'll get him out of here, Howard. Anyway, it's good to see you. Here and show me your cans. Well, they're not here yet. We'll find out in time. Is your mom limp? Let me see. Let's have her in here for a little bit. Is it a family tree? You know what? You know what I love about Cody's mom? She gave birth to a three pounder. Absolutely no damage done. Corey is his name. Do you have any brothers or sisters? I do. Two older brothers. Did they both come out on time? One did, one didn't. A whole bunch of them came out early. Wow. It is what it is. We still do. You think that's because your mom was so loose you guys were just falling? No, no, my. My dad is Red Robin. Do you think it's because mom was too loose that the kids kept coming out early? Yum. Well, this is your indoctrination, kid. Exactly. Alrighty, we got the center square. We got researcher Brady. That's right. I do all sorts of research. Hi, Corey. So what are you looking into right now? Well, not a lot. My curiosity. Facts, that's what I'm looking into. Facts. I told you, I haven't found any yet. That's different for you. Yeah, it is. I tell the story and then I kind of think about it for zero seconds and I move on. It's not your fault if it's not in the story. Course. You hear about that scavenger hunt for that golden owl? I heard a little bit. Yeah, me too. And that's where the story ends. Friends don't care. Someone found it and it wasn't me. Next door to the end. Well, if I don't get the gold now, why do I care? Nothing with the profit. All right, middle, right, square. We got Tom Brennaman. Boy, oh boy. I was a guest on the show this week. Great. And I gotta tell you. What. What a great. It's great to be back on the air in Arizona, first of all. Second, a little piece of advice for the young broadcasters. Don't say the word. Ever. Oh, are you sure? Positive. But you're coming back? No. Go ahead. Let me tell you something, Corey. I'm HIV positive. You should never say on the end. That's how positive I am. I'll take that in mind. Okay, now, bottom left. Brady's secret square. Give us a hint. Hey, guys, I'm 73 years old. I'm the lead singer. Reo Speedwagon and I'll kick your asses. You sound confident. Now, I know you're feeling like you want to say it. Don't do it. Okay, then from there, we got the bottom, middle square, Ozzy on his way. I'm getting on. Rock and Roll hall of Fame. I'll be in the hall of Fame soon. He was inducting me, Freddie. Remember? He showed people who inducted me? Yeah. Who? A jelly roll. Yeah. Always a guy I've never met before, having me on the. In the Rock and Roll hall of Fame, and he's not even in it. What does he know about it? He just loves you. I would rather have. I'd rather have this kid here induct me. At least his videos have been in the hall of Fame. You and Corey have a similar walk. Me and Corey have a very similar. Well, I was also born prematurely. No, you weren't. I was. No, it's all the drugs. Some say 20 years too soon. That's fair enough. Lastly here, bottom right square. Our Lord and Savior Trip re. Yeah. You know what's great about this? Kamala will tell you. This is a good opportunity for you. And by that is a very vague way of saying, enjoy. No money for this. Exactly. I. I would never come up to you and ask you for money. No, you wouldn't, because you're an underling. And coming up to me is an automatic dismissal. That's right. You talk to people above you. Is Katie west still a station, Brady? I think so, yeah. You're in charge. I know. Who cares, though? It's hard to be in charge of air. But I am. You're welcome. All right, on with the show. Cody, do this. Okay, so who do we have on the phone right now? Jameson and Heather facing the drinks. Alrighty. Hello there. Any preference on starting off? Heather starts off, she's a girl. Be a gentleman, for Christ's sake. Heather, you're a girl. Pick a square. Let's go with Trump. Trump. Okay, straight up. The ladies love me because I make them feel safe. I make a lady feel safe. How? Listen, honey bunch, you're safe with me. Don't worry about it. I just. I make them feel safe by cornering them, grabbing their genitals and letting them know I'm in complete control. Is that what you'd call a caress? That's a. It's a sweet, tender caress. Heather, have you ever had anybody just walk up to you in a bar and say, this belongs to me now, sister? And was that person's name Garth Brooks? Okay. Just ask questions. Good to have you. All right, go ahead. Thriller. Here we go. So Trump here. George Orwell's 1984 is the second most quoted book behind the Bible. George Orwell's books pretty well. It's. If quoting it by saying it's. So 1984 is a quote. Yes. You know, a lot of people say it's a great book. I didn't like it. I like that Reagan was president in 84, and he didn't predict that, so it was inaccurate. First of all. Well, the book didn't come out in 84. I know Bill Shakespeare. Maybe we should ask Biden. Biden, remember Bill? Yeah, I used to work on stuff. We wrote books together. We wrote a lot of books out there. Screen with him. No, you didn't. He's a good man. He's a good man. Pound of flesh. Pound of flesh, pound of pie. There's a little something this guy. You know what? And he would have done pretty well in the election, and that scares everyone. I'll have to say that that's probably. Probably not true. I say that's not true. George Orwell's book's not quoted. People just know the title. Okay, Heather, what do you think? I think that's false. Falls is correct. X gets the square. There you go. Actually, it was. Yes. False is correct. Jameson. Jameson, you're a big square. What are you thinking? Hi, sir, may I have a Brady secret square, please? Hey, girlfriend, what are you thinking? What's up, cat? Well, Wikipedia tells me it's a fellow named Kevin Cronin. You've got me pushing. How did you narrow it down? Jameson. Oh, gets the square. You're up, Heather. Pick a square. Oh, John Travolta. Travolta. Okay, let's see what you got. What happened? I thought Truly was hosting the Squiz. I hear Toledo talking the whole time. Let the man have a mistake. Help me out. I appreciate that. Nobody else does, though. That's the problem. It's like there's too much Toledo going on in these squares. Over here, you see Cory's legs? He's wearing shorts. Oh, my God. Can you dance? You would think that, but no. I bet you if I pushed in the hallway, it would look like you were. I didn't get lucky enough to get the shakes. Also. Oh, my God. What? All right, like Michael J. Fox. Let's focus up here, John. So the name of the oldest median age in the US Is. Oh, I'm sorry. Most. What does that say? Yeah, the oldest median age. The name with The. There's more Toledo. The show has more Toledo than it's ever had in its life. Come on. Tonight. Okay, you read like Brady. The name of the oldest median age in the US is David. With the median age being 63 years old. David is 63 years old. No, you're like Brady. Like, you. Like, lower than that. You look terrible. How old is David? Is that what he just asked me? Yeah. He's affecting the curve. David is the oldest name in the world. No, in the US in the United States. David is the oldest name in the United States. Wouldn't that be like. Yeah, probably. It was like an old name. It's like from the Bible. King David. Yeah, it's like an old name. So I'll say that's probably true. It's probably right. Okay. And do you agree or disagree? I disagree. That's right. It is. Good job, Toledo. Kite. Let the man work. Jesus. We're making it happen. He's auditioning. All right, now, Jameson here. You could do the block by going for Biden, Harrison Walls and I'll take the access of retard. Top left. Congratulation. Trying to piss Toledo off. I inspire folks to use the word more often. By the way, I had to ask you a question before we move on to the next square. What's that? Your hands, do they work okay? Totally fine. So you can give, like, a good massage? Not to you. No, just. I was just checking out. Just making sure. All right. Eventually, maybe you will. Oh, God. You know, while Toledo hosts the squares, you got nothing else to do. All right. I love the opportunity economy. I love opportunity. I love all this. We're going balls to the walls. Oh, there it is. She laughs like a crazy person. I'm just like, hello. These are the people that took my place. They're better. They're better than me. That's my boss. Here we go. True or false. There have been three presidents with PhDs in US history. I would not be one of those presidents when I'm president. That will not be happening. I have an opportunity to get a PhD. Opportunity coming. Aspirations, dreams. We're gonna cure you. We're gonna quiet, Toledo. I was cured the first day. You just know it. I imagine it'll happen. Trust me, Claire. Alrighty. I have three PhDs. I don't know if you knew about that. Oh, no. Papa has dough. One of those deals right there. Daddy gave me 500 million. Turned it into a billion after I lost it the first time anyway. All right, Jameson, what do you think? Thinking true or false? I couldn't exactly hear, but the only president to have a Ph Degree was Woodrow Wilson. So one. He is. Wow. He is Wikipedia the hell out of me. Next square wins. Have her pick one. I'm not losing to a girl. What are you picking? What are you thinking? That's my guy right there. The next square. The next one wins. Yeah, you can pick anything you want. Ozzy. Ozzy. Okay. Thank you very much. It's wonderful to be appreciated. I'm gonna do the right job. You know, you and I should do is we should start a dance team. You and me. Yeah. We'll call it Aussie and Thriller. Of course. We would have it in the hallway and we would have a dance off. Would they want you to do a cover of Thriller? If you do that. I would do that for you. Or if you dance for it, I'll sing it. We'll call it lazy train for 11 minutes. Did you call him lazy? Well, he looks. He's so slow. I mean, let's be honest. Come on. If he was in front of you in line, even I'd be like, pick it up. A little Thriller. I followed him in in the morning. Oh, no. By the way, I saw you pull in the morning. Your headlights are on auto. They're not on full, so you don't have back lights. Oh. Oh, no. Don't. You're welcome. And you know, it's bad about that. Most police officers see that and they see the lights, right? They think you're drunk, punk, and you're not going to help yourself on this test. That's true. I have. I'm in fear. We'll start a band, you know, we'll call it Limp Bizkit. There you go. All right, Austin, I focus up here. Famous author James Joyce. What? Wrote almost all of his works using crayons. True or false? I don't know. James Joyce is. I don't know what anything else is. I don't know what any of these things mean. Did you ever eat? Do I overeat him? I can't eat a man, Brady. I'm just another man. Why would I eat him? Why do you always think about this thing? She's a man eater. You're a man eater. Katie KB thing. I already heard her name. And he wanted to eat the man. I'll say that. I don't know, but it sounds like he wouldn't be asking me if it wasn't real. It's too absurd not to be something that's true. All right. Thanks, Biden. No, no. But it Is the same. It's the same exact thing. Mental. I walk faster than. I walk faster than the new movie. So what do you think, Heather? I can't Google it, so I'm gonna agree. Agree. Well, there you go. Congratulations. She steals it from the Googler. The mad Googler. Heather. Good job. Heather wins. Nice job. We'll get you something nice there. Jameson, stay put. It's 10 o'. Clock. We gotta stop doing this silly. Hey, other than Toledo trying to ruin it, nice job. Thank you very much. I appreciate it. Don't we all agree? Yeah. Nice job. There was a thrilling episode of the Guadalupe Squares with our interim host. For now. You gotta earn it. Okay. You're gonna earn it. I got. Nobody else wants this. And you actually asked to do this? Yeah. Crazy. I figured I'll ask, you know, Larry, not you, because you're too busy, obviously. All the time. Wow. You don't have to kiss his ass now. I'm in the mirror popping isis. I can't. I don't have time for this. Not now. That's excellent. You did a good job, Toledo. Shut the F up. The kid was doing great. Do you hear that, Brad? We'll figure it out. Believable. Actually, it's totally believable. It is totally. I get emails like, shut up, Toledo. The kid's doing fine. Yeah, we can hear it in Toledo's shaky voice. He's worried his job's in danger. Stop walking all over this new guy. That's a mean pun. You'll get tired of the jokes eventually, but they're new to us, so we're just gonna have a field day. What's the best joke anybody's hit you with about. About your. Your malady? I honestly. It really does come down to Thriller. It's the most creative. Thriller is the Brett. Congratulations. I give it a Brett. Thank you. So we'll open it up to the listeners to top that. Please go, I'm begging you, roast it. I love it. And I love that you're. You're cool with it. Like being part of the fun. Of course. And you can make fun of us for anything too. You'll get fired for it, but you can do it. I get one good joke before I leave the building. Okay? Yeah. Yeah. At least you get one shot in. That's a good attitude right there. Actually, this guy even emailed in. I like this guy for the squares. If you can't be made fun of, you can't take yourself too seriously. Exactly. And anybody who begs to do this job is getting it that was nuts. Larry came up to me. He goes, you know Corey down the hall? And I'm like, thriller. Jesus Christ. Anyway, because he wants to host the squares. And I'm like, why? Because even I don't want to do it anymore. And he know it was great, and he did it. And John was like, oh, that'll be great. So you got. You came well recommended, and you did a nice job. That's reassuring. Thank you. Have anything to say to Toledo? Do it. Thank you for your help. Legitimately. You say a couple times. I'm gonna. That's not gonna put you in a job any better. I'm not buying it. The correct answer. Where's Mo? Hey. He's playing on the stream. He did? Would have been a nice thing. Yeah, that's Brady's go to. Luckily, there'll be a time in the future for that. All right. We're gonna put you through it. We're gonna hold you to that, too. You know, Court actually officially makes me Johnny in the ass. It's official. But I'm. I. I was afraid when we used to. You don't know about Johnny Midnight in the ass. I've heard the name. Okay. When we first started years ago, we had. I did a character of an aging radio host who was losing relevance. So he hired some young kid to come in, and he was the ass. Brady played the ass. And we would interview celebrities, parties in the worst possible fashion, where I continued. And now it's official because we've got somebody born in 1998, three years older than the show. Wow. You piece of. Hey, you know, I fell out when I fell out. That's true. I had no control. And we all know why. There's. His mother's vagina was like a gaping. Yeah, yeah. Let's try that again. Bloop. God damn it. Was it two in a row? Was there a good one in the middle? No, it was two in a row. You blopped down another one blocked out. I was the last one. Oh, my God. She said, let's do it one more time and see what happens. Hold on. First one came out fine. Yes. Everything's gold. Different mother. What? Yeah. What happened to her? It's totally normal. She left. Oh, no. Let's just say mother and father did not agree. Oh, so he had a divorce, dad remarries, and then two preemies come out? Yes, but I love mom. So it was your mom. Well, that doesn't make her a bad person. She's just in a hurry. Exactly. Dad said, hey, we Got a house clean. Yeah, she had the gestation period of a cat. Babies need more. Yes. Okay. Sadly. And your. And your brother or sister, that fell out early. Not as early as myself. Okay, so I'm the king still, but I get all the attention. Any limp on that one? No, no, no. Just some eye stuff. Oh, no kidding. That's it? Yeah. Well, damn it all. And it's not a big deal. Like, you don't have, like, anything terrible. No, no, it's just like. Just, like, tight muscles. That's it. Is that. Do you feel it? Oh, absolutely. No, no kidding. Because there are times when I, like, stretch or maybe have a drink or two, and. Oh, the muscles relax and it feels. When you get drunk, do you walk straight lines? I haven't gotten that far yet. All right, we can find out. Imagine those DUI tests. Oh, my God. I can't believe the guy passed. I swear to God. Watch this. Not going to believe. Heel to toe. He walked to Tucson. The kid's amazing. All right, well, Thriller. Do you have a card that you can show the cops get pulled over? Oh, you don't? I don't. Oh, no, no. They'll figure it out. Have you ever had a field sobriety test? Oh, yeah. We should have a cop come give you one. Just see what happens. Yeah, get Ben down. We don't. We don't think anything's wrong with. We think something's. We think he's Bacon. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect.