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You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness for lifechangerloan.com. a guy I know is going through a divorce, which stinks for him. He's trying to figure out how much it's going to take to pay off the future ex wife. You got bills you want to consolidate, you got some stuff you want to take care of, Go ahead and do it. Or if you're just really good with money and you want to get out of that mortgage as fast as possible, Life Changer Loan is the way to do it. Average Customer saves about 250,000 in interest. House has paid off in about five years. Life change, your loan. It's not magic, it's just math. Lifechanger loan.com. cease and desist at once. The best of H's morning sickness. This is the Big Red Radio. It is time for your Guadalupe Squares with your new host of the Squares, Thriller Berger on Thriller. Oh, thank you, Chancellor. Let's see what we got here. Starting off top left, square, square. We got Biden, Harris and Walls. It's not too bad. Not too bad. Hey, good morning, Walls. Really here? Is it, Cody? I sure am. I'm right here. And that's great stuff. How are you there, Brady? Good to see you. It's my son Gus over there. He's doing a great job, too. I like you, Gus. I'm a bit of an alcohol head. I say some stupid stuff. I killed a Chinaman in Tiananmen Square once. It was an accident. I didn't know what I was doing. What's your favorite place to shop? Kohl's Menards. Oh, yeah, Menards. I like menards, too. That's a good place up there. I like that. I have picked the proper man. Don't you think, Cody? Hi, Cody. I'm close to all of them. I just want Tampon Timmy to be here. Do you need a tampon right now, Tom? Not yet. All right. If you need one, I've got a couple for you. So it'll work out great, I think. All right, top, middle, square, we got John Travolta. Oh, my God, it's so great to be here. It's my sister's birthday. It's Ellen's birthday today. 85 years old. Those Travoltas are getting so old. She couldn't come in? No, she can't make it anymore. She's in a bed With Jimmy Carter. What? Yeah. She looks worse than Jimmy. Oh my God. It's so good to see Cody. There she is. Cody throws she here right now. Oh my God. Come on in here. Alan Travolta. My sister made it. Happy birthday, Alan. Happy birthday to you. Ellen. Happy birthday. Hey, John, thanks for the happy birthday. I really appreciate it. Alex Travolta's are pretty much similar. Ellen Travolta. So happy to see you. Ellen. So great to see you. So great to see you. All right. Oh my God. Let me get serious for a second. We're trying to raise money to stop preemie babies. What? That's right. We just know right now. I'm looking right now. We gotta put an end to this. This is a nightmare for some people. I am proof it's possible to come back from that. Not really. Because my current 85 year old sister would probably beat you in a walking race. Ouch. All right. We're starting a new charity to bring back Jet. All right. Top right square. You know he'll always be here. We got exactly right. And you know what I'm so happy about today, Cody. What's that? Is that Corey? Okay, thank you. I think you just said I love you. I didn't hear him. I don't listen to Toledo. He's a cuck. Liberal cuck. Anyway, it's so great to see. Finally we've deported Mo. She's gone. It's great. We got rid of her. And we have a white man doing a job that a white woman wouldn't do for a long time. So we let a Mexican do it for a little bit. See what happened. See what happened? We needed a white guy to come clean it up. And we didn't even need a whole white guy. Like a guy who's like 68%. You got a half off sale? Yeah, we got a half off sales. We don't have to pay half. Amazing deal. It's tariffs on his legs. That's what I. Melania endorsed me today. Melania Trump. I just got that information. Someone called Melania. Oh, is that. Oh yes, Melania. I love her. Very nice. Here we go. Who are you voting for? That's what I like to say. Give me a second. He doesn't want to be deported either. Duh. I gotta say the right thing here. All right, we got mill left square. Taking time out of his busy schedule being old Howard Stern. Wow. Shots for him. I mean, I gotta tell you, this kid's got a great voice, but what an. I mean, your first day you're already taking shots at the guy. Listen, Red Robin. Yo, did you hear? This new kid over here, he's. He should be. He should be part of the whack pack. You see him walk, he's like a Thriller zombie. Don't you agree? Brittlejuice Baba. Bastard. Where did you get him out of here? I'll get him out of here, Howard. Anyway, it's good to see you. Here and show me your cans. Well, they're not here yet. We'll find out in time. Is your mom limp? I want to see. Let's have her in here for a little bit. Is it a family tree? You know what? You know what I love about Cody's mom? She gave birth to a three pounder. Absolutely no damage done. Corey is his name. Do you have any brothers or sisters? I do. Two older brothers. Did they both come out on time? One did, one didn't. A whole bunch of them came out earlier. Wow. It is what it is. We still love each other. Do you think that's because your mom was so loose you guys were just falling out? No, no, my dad is kind of. Red Robin. Do you think it's because mom was too loose that the kids kept coming out early? Yum. Well, this is your indoctrination, kid. Exactly. All righty. We got the center square. We got researcher Brady. That's right. I. All sorts of real. Hi, Corey. So what are you looking into right now? Well, not a lot. My curiosity. Facts. That's what I'm looking into. Facts. I told you, I haven't found any yet. That's different for you. Yeah, it is. It's. I tell the story and then I kind of think about it for zero seconds and I move on. It's not your fault if it's not in the story. Cor. You hear about that scavenger hunt for that golden owl? I heard a little bit. Yeah, me too. And that's where the story ends. Friends don't care. Someone found it and it wasn't me. Next door to the end. Well, if I don't get the gold now, why do I care? Nothing with a profit. All right, middle right square. We got Tom Brennaman. Boy, oh boy. I was a guest on the show this week. Great. And I gotta tell you. What. What a great. It's great to be back on the air in Arizona, first of all. Second, a little piece of advice for the young broadcasters. Don't say the word. Ever. Oh, are you sure? Positive. Okay. Okay. I'm just saying. But you're coming back. No Go ahead. Let me tell you something, Cory. I'm HIV positive. You should never say on the end. That's how positive I am. I'll take that in mind. Okay, now, bottom left, Brady's secret square. Give us a hint. Hey, guys, I'm 73 years old. I'm the lead singer REO Speedwagon and I'll kick your asses. You sound confident. Now. I know you feel like you want to say it. Don't do it. Okay, then from there, we get the bottom. Middle square. Ozzy Oswald getting on Rock and Roll hall of Fame. I'll be in the hall of Fame soon. Who's inducting me? Freddie. Remember he told people who inducted me? Yeah, it was a jelly roll. Yeah. What was? A guy I've never met before having me on the. In the Rognol hall of Fame, and he's not even in it. What does he know about it? He just loves you. I would rather have this kid here induct me. At least his videos have been in the hall of fam. Corey have a similar walk. Me and Corey have a very similar. Well, I was also born prematurely. No, you weren't. I was. No, it's all the drugs. Some say 20 years too soon. That's fair enough. Lastly, here, bottom right square, our Lord and Savior, Trip re. Yeah. You know what's great about this? Kamala will tell you this is a good opportunity for you. And by that is a very vague way of saying, enjoy. No money for this. Exactly. I. I would never come up to you and ask you for money. No, you wouldn't. Because you're an underling. And coming up to me is an automatic dismissal. That's right. You talk to people above you. Is Katie west still a station Brady? I think so, yeah. You're in charge. I know. Who cares, though? It's hard to be in charge of air. But I am. You're welcome. All right, on with the show. Cody, do this. Okay, so who do we have on the phone right now? Jameson and Heather facing the drinks. Alrighty. Hello there. Any preference on starting off? Heather starts off, she's a girl. Be a gentleman for Christ's sake. Heather, you're a girl. Pick a square. Let's go with Trump. Trump. Okay, straight up. The ladies love me because it makes them feel safe. I make a lady feel safe. How? Listen, honey bunch, you're safe with me. Don't worry about it. I just. I make them feel safe by cornering them, grabbing their genitals and letting them know I'm in complete Control? Is that what you'd call a caress? That's a. It's a sweet, tender caress. Heather, have you ever had anybody just walk up to you in a bar and say, this belongs to me now, sister? And was that person's name Garth Brooks? Okay, just ask questions. Good to have you. All right, go ahead. Thriller. Here we go. So Trump here. George Orwell's 1984 is the second most quoted book behind the Bible. George Orwell's book's pretty well. If quoting it by saying it's. So 1984 is a quote. Yes. You know, a lot of people say it's a great book. I didn't like it. I like that Reagan was president in 84, and he didn't predict that, so it was inaccurate. First of all. Well, the book didn't come out in 84. I know Bill Shakespeare. Maybe we should ask Biden. Biden, remember Bill? Yeah, I used to work on stuff. We wrote books together. We wrote a lot of books out there. Screen with him. No, you didn't. He's a good man. He's a good man. Voter, one for me. £ of flesh. Pound of flesh, pound of pie. There's a little something. I told you this guy, you know what? And he would have done pretty well in the election, and that scares everyone. I'll have to say that that's probably. Probably not true. I say that's not true. George Orwell's book's not quoted. People just know the title. Okay, Heather, what do you think? I think that's false. False is correct. X gets the square. There you go. Actually, it was. Yes. False is correct. Jameson. Jameson, you're at. Pick a square. What are you thinking? Aye, sir. May I have a Brady secret square, please? Hey, girlfriend, what are you thinking? What's up, Cat? Well, Wikipedia tells me it's a fellow named Kevin Cronin. You've got me. Keep it pushing. How did you narrow it? Morning sickness. It's John Holmer here from the morning sickness for lifechangerloan.com. i had a friend text me the other day, and he was skeptical. He was like, there's got to be a catch, man. Math is absolute. It can't lie. So we went to the computer, put his info in the little equation@lifechangerloan.com and found out that his loan, which he owes $523,000 over the next 27 years on, could be paid off in eight years, and he will save 389,000 in interest. That's insane. You should be skeptical Ask questions. Then you'll see for yourself. It's not magic. It's just math. Lifechangerlone.com Holmberg's morning sickness. Oh, gets the square. You're up, Heather. Pick a square, John Travolta. Travolta. Okay, let's see what you got. What happened? I thought Truly was hosting the Squiz. I hear Toledo talking. Let the man have a mistake. Help me out. I appreciate that. Nobody else does, though. That's the problem. It's like there's too much Toledo going on in these squares over here. Did you see Corey's legs? He's wearing shorts. Oh, my God. Can you dance? You would think that, but no. I bet you if I push in the hallway, it would look like you were. I didn't get lucky enough to get the shakes. Also. Oh, my God. What? All right, like Michael J. Fox. Let's focus up here, John. So the name of the oldest median age in the US Is. I'm sorry, most? Yeah, the oldest median age. The name with the. There's more Toledo. The show has more Toledo than it's ever had in his life. Come on. Okay, you read like Brady. The name of the oldest median age in the US is David, with the median age being 63 years old. David is 63 years old. No, you're like Brady. Like, you, like, loading that. You look terrible. Was. How old is David? Is that what he just asked me? Yeah, he's affecting the curve. David is the oldest name in the world. No, in the US in the United States. David is the oldest name in the United States. Wouldn't that be like. Yeah, probably. It was like an old name. It's like from the Bible. King David. Yeah, it's like an old name, so I'll say. That's probably true. It's probably right. Okay. And do you agree or disagree? I disagree. That's right. It is Toledo Kite. Let the man work. Jesus. We're making it happen. He's auditioning. All right, now, Jameson here. You could do the block by going for Biden. Harrison Walls and I'll take the access of retard, top left. Congratulations. Trying to piss Toledo off. I inspire folks to use the wear more often. By the way, I had to ask you a question before we move on to the next square. What's that? Your hands, do they work okay? Totally fine. So you can give, like, a good massage? Not to you. No, just. I was just checking out. Just making sure. All right. Eventually, maybe you will. Oh, God. You know, while Toledo hosts squares, you got nothing else to do. All right. I love the Opportunity Academy. I opportunity. I love all this. We're going balls to the walls. Oh, there it is. She laughs like a crazy person. Hello. These are the people that took my place. They're better. They're better than me. Better. My boss. Here we go. True or false? There have been three presidents with PhDs in US history. I would not be one of those. President. When I'm president. That will not be happening. Have an opportunity to get a PhD. Opportunity. Come. Aspirations, dreams. We're gonna cure you. We're gonna. Quiet Toledo. I was cured the first day. You know it automatically. It'll happen. Trust me, Claire. Alrighty then. I have three PhDs. I don't know if you knew about that. Oh no. Papa has dough. One of those deals right there. Daddy gave me 500 million. Turned it into a billion after I lost it the first time anyway. All right, Jameson, what are you thinking? True or false? I couldn't exactly hear but the only president to have a Ph Degree was Woodrow Wilson. So one. He is. Wow. He is Wikipedia the hell out of it. Next square wins. Next square wins. Have her pick one. I'm not losing to a girl. What are you picking? What are you thinking? That's my guy right there. The next square. The next one wins. Yeah, you can pick anything you want. Ozzy. Ozzy. Okay. Thank you very much. It's wonderful to be appreciated. I'm doing a great job. You know, you and I should do is we should start a dance team. You and me. Yeah, we'll call it Ozzy and Thriller. Of course we would have in the hallway and we would have a dance off. Would they want you to do a cover of Thriller? If you do that. I would do that for you. Oh. If you dance for it, I'. It. We'll call it lazy train. Full 11 minutes. Did you call him lazy? Well, he looks. He's so slow. I mean, let's be honest. Come on. If he was in front of you in line even I'd be like pick it up. A little Thriller. I followed him in in the morning. I know. By the way, I saw you pull in the morning. Your headlights are on auto. They're not on full so you don't have back lights. Oh. Oh no. You're welcome. And you know it's bad about that most police officers see that. They see the lights, right. They think you're drunk and you're not going to help yourself on a test. That's true. I have. I'm in fear we'll Start a band, you know. We'll call it Limp Biscuits. There you go. All right, Austin, now focus up here. Famous author James Joyce, right? Wrote almost all of his works using crayons. True or false? I don't know who James Joyce is. I don't know what anything else is. I don't know any of these things mean. Did you ever eat? Do I ever eat him? I can't eat a man, Brady. I'm just another man. Why would I eat him? Why are you always thinking about this thing? She's a man eater. You're a man eater. Going home, Katie. KB thing. Brady heard a name and he wanted to eat the man. I'll say that I don't know, but it sounds like you wouldn't be asking me if it wasn't real. It's too absurd not to be something. Also, I would say that's true. All right. Thanks, Biden. No, no, it is the same. It's the same exact thing. Mental. I walk faster than. I walk faster than the new mall. Faster than the mall. So what do you think, Heather? I can't google it, so I'm gonna agree. Agree. Well, there you go. Congratulations. She steals it from the Googler. The mad Googler. Heather. Good job. Heather wins. Nice job. We'll get you something nice there, James. Stay put. It's 10 o'. Clock. We gotta stop doing this silly. Hey, other than Toledo trying to ruin it, nice job. Thank you very much. I appreciate it. Don't we all agree? Yeah. Nice job. That was a thrilling episode of the Guadalupe Squares with our interim host. For now. You gotta earn it. O. I got. Nobody else wants this. And you actually asked to do this? Yeah. Crazy. I figured I'll ask. You know, Larry, not you, because you're too busy, obviously. All the time. Wow. You don't have to kiss his ass now. I'm in the mirror popping isis. I can't. I don't have time for this. Not now. That's excellent. You did a good job. Toledo shot the F up. The kid was doing great. Do you hear that, Brad? We'll figure it out. Believable. Actually, it's totally believable. It is? Totally. That's pretty. I get an emails like, shut up, Toledo. The kid's doing fine. Yeah, we can hear it in Toledo's shaky voice. He's worried his job's in danger. Stop walking all over this new guy. That's a mean pun. You'll get tired of the jokes eventually, but they're new to us, so we're just gonna have A field day. What's the best joke anybody's hit you with about your. Your malady? I honestly. It really does come down to Thriller. It's the most creative. Brett, congratulations. I give it a Brett. Thank you. So we'll open it up to the listeners to top that. Please, God, I'm begging you. Roast it. I love it. And I love that you're. You're cool with it, like, being part of the fun. Of course. And you can make fun of us for anything too. You'll get fired for it, but you can do it. I get one good joke before I leave the building. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. At least you get one shot in. That's a good attitude there. Actually, this guy even emailed in. I like this guy. For the squares. If you can't be made fun of, you can't take yourself out too seriously. Exactly. And anybody who begs to do this job is getting it. That was nuts. Larry came up to me. He goes, you know Corey down the hall? And I'm like, thriller? Jesus Christ. Anyway. Because he wants to host the squares. And I'm like, why? Because even I don't want to do it anymore. And he know it was great, and he did it. And John was like, oh, that'll be great. So you got. You came well recommended, and you did a nice job. That's reassuring. Do you have anything to say to Toledo? Do it. Thank you for your help. Legitimately. You said it a couple times. I'm gonna. That's not gonna get you a job any better. I'm not buying it. Now the correct answer. Where's Mo? Hey. He's playing all the streams he did would have been a nice thing. Yeah, That's Brady's go to. Luckily, there'll be a time in the future for that. All right. We're gonna put you through it. We're gonna hold you to that, too. You know what? Corey actually officially makes me Johnny in the ass. It's official. But I'm. I. I was afraid when we used to. You don't know about Johnny Midnight in the ass. I've heard the name. Okay. When we first started years ago, we had. I did a character of an aging radio host who was losing relevance. So we hired some young kid to come in and. And he was the ass. Brady played the ass. And we would interview celebrities in the worst possible fashion. Where I continued and ask. And now it's official. We've got somebody born in 1998, three years older than the show. Wow. You piece of. Hey, you know, I fell out When I fell out. That's true. I had no control. And we all know why. There's. His mother's vagina was like a gaping. Yeah. Does your mom have a. Yeah, let's try that again. Bloop. God damn it. Was it two in a row or was there a good one in the middle? No, it was two in a row. You blocked out another one. Blocked out. I was the last one. Oh, my God. She said, let's do it one more time and see what happens. Hold on. First one came out fine. Yes. Everything's gold. Different mother. What? Yeah. Oh, so, yeah. What happened to her? It's totally normal. Let's just say mother and father did not agree. Oh, so he had a divorce, dad remarries, and then two preemies come out. Yes, but I love Mom. So it was your mom. Well, that doesn't make her a bad person. She's just in a hurry. Exactly. Dad said, hey, we got a house clean. Yeah, she had the gestation period of a cat. Babies need more. Yes. Okay. Sadly. And yours and your brother or sister, that fell out early. Not as early as myself. Okay, so I'm the king still, but I get all the attention. Any limp on that one? No, no, no. Just some eye stuff. Oh, no kidding. That's it. You just got the limp. All right. Well, damn it. All right. And it's no big deal. Like, you don't have, like, anything terrible. No, no, it's just like. Just, like, tight muscles. That's it. Is that it? Do you feel it? Oh, absolutely. No. No kidding. Because there are times when I, like, stretch or maybe have a drink or two and. Oh, the muscles relax and it feels. When. When you get drunk, do you walk straight lines? I would have for you. All right, we can find out. Imagine those DUI tests. Oh, my God. I can't believe it. The guy passed. I swear to God. Watch this. I gotta believe. Heel to toe, he walked to Tucson. The kid's amazing. All right, well, Thriller. Do you have a card that you can show the cops? I wish. Pulled over. Oh, you don't? I don't. Oh, no, no. They'll figure it out. Have you ever had a field sobriety test? Yeah. We should have a cop come give you one to see what happens. Yeah, get. Bend down. We don't. We don't think anything's wrong, really. We think something's. We think he's faking. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. You know how everything's a subscription now? Music, movies, even socks I swear. If to continue this ad, please upgrade to premium plus platinum. Uh, what? No. Anyway, Blue Apron, this is a pay per. Listen, ad. Please confirm your billing. Oh, that's annoying. At least with the new Blue Apron, there's no subscription needed. Get delicious meals delivered without the weekly plan. Wait, no subscription? Keep the flavor. Ditch the subscription. Get 20% off your first two orders with code APRON20. Terms and conditions apply. Visit blueapron.com terms for more.
Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Guadalupe Squares: New Host, Celebrity Impressions, and Relentless Roasting
Episode Airdate: October 3, 2025
This episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness features the fan-favorite segment, Guadalupe Squares, with a twist: a new interim host, Corey Walsh (a.k.a. "Thriller Berger"), makes his debut. The familiar cast—John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo—and celebrity impersonations (John Travolta, Trump, Howard Stern, Ozzy Osbourne, and more) bring their usual irreverent energy. The show features rapid-fire banter, roasting of newcomer Corey (especially about his limp and premature birth), classic game show antics, and audience call-ins—all keeping true to the podcast's irreverent, fast-paced humor.
Each square features top-notch impressions and improv, with Holmberg and crew jumping in and out of character:
Top Left: Biden, Harris, and Walls
Top Middle: John Travolta
Top Right: Trump (Impersonation)
Middle Left: Howard Stern (Impersonation)
Center: Researcher Brady
Middle Right: Thom Brennaman
Bottom Left: Brady’s Secret Square (Kevin Cronin, REO Speedwagon)
Bottom Middle: Ozzy Osbourne (Impersonation)
Bottom Right: Trip Reeb (Station Manager)
Standard tic-tac-toe format, each caller picks a square and answers trivia questions based on squares’ characters’ responses:
Trump Segment (29:30):
John Travolta Segment (34:21):
Biden, Harris & Walls Segment (38:32):
Ozzy Segment, Finale (46:09):
Howard Stern (Impersonation):
"Do you think that's because your mom was so loose you guys were just falling out?" (08:45)
John Travolta (Impersonation):
"Let me get serious for a second. We're trying to raise money to stop preemie babies...I'm proof it's possible to come back from that." (03:01)
Donald Trump (Impersonation):
"We needed a white guy to come clean it up and we didn't even hit a whole white guy. What, like a guy who's like 68%?" (05:29)
Biden (Impersonation):
"I killed a Chinaman in Tiananmen Square once. It was an accident. I didn’t know what I was doing." (01:35)
Ozzy Osbourne (Impersonation):
“We’ll call it lazy train. Full 11 minutes.” (46:55)
Brady (about fact-checking):
“I tell the story and then I kinda think about it for zero seconds and I move on.” (10:20)
Holmberg (on roasting Corey):
“Anybody who begs to do this job is getting it. That was nuts.” (1:12:32)
“You can't be made fun of, you can't take yourself too seriously.” (1:14:45)
The hosts maintain their trademark rapid-fire, irreverent, and boundary-pushing comedy throughout, seamlessly blending improvisational roast battles with local radio game show fun. Despite relentless ribbing, an undercurrent of camaraderie, inclusion, and encouragement shines through, especially as newcomer Corey embraces the show’s ethos: If you’re in on the joke, you’re part of the team.
For longtime fans and newcomers alike, this episode is classic Holmberg’s Morning Sickness: quick-witted, shameless, and fiercely local. New host Corey is welcomed with roast after roast, proving he’s game for anything the HMS crew throws his way. The broadcast strikes a balance between game show, improv, and (often very personal) standup—making it a must-listen for anyone who enjoys their morning shows with a shot of dark humor and a reckless disregard for sacred cows.