Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – October 6, 2025

Episode: 10-06-25 – BR – MON – w/Bret
Hosts: John Holmberg, Bret Vesely (Brady Bogen & Dick Toledo absent)
Main Topics: Taylor Swift & Travis Kelce, Gold Digger States, Sports Oddities, Bizarre News, Not-Safe-For-Work Videos

Episode Overview

In this episode, John and Bret pilot the morning show, riffing on pop culture, recent sports absurdities, and offbeat news, with their signature irreverence. The absence of regulars Brady and Toledo leads to “The Brett Report,” a segment packed with quirky facts and edgy banter. Central themes include the scrutiny over Travis Kelce’s public relationship with Taylor Swift, the cultural anatomy of “gold digger” states, wild marathons, and the show’s standard barrage of outrageous listener-submitted videos.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Travis Kelce & Taylor Swift’s High-Stakes Relationship

• Pressure on Kelce:
  • John launches into a comedic yet worried rant about what happens to Travis Kelce now that he’s the public boyfriend of Taylor Swift, referencing the horde of protective "Swifties."
  • The hosts discuss Kelce’s pattern of adapting himself to suit each girlfriend, calling it the "Dapper Dan syndrome."
• John’s Take:
  • “He cannot screw this up more than any other man in a relationship ever. Travis cannot screw this up.” (05:28)
  • Bret adds that Kelce’s entire dating history makes the risk higher for him, observing drastic changes in Kelce's style and behavior with different partners.
• Comparison to Pop Culture:
  • Reference to Stedman and Oprah as another example of an impossible act to follow.
  • John: “Stedman just never got the fame. And people would understand if Stedman stepped out. I don't think people would be that mad at Stedman if he goofed up with Oprah.” (05:34)
• Big Takeaway:
  • They joke that Kelce is not just dating Taylor, but “marrying the Swifties” and that any perceived mistreatment could ruin his life, with the army of Swift fans ready to “kill him in their own weird way.” (12:05)

2. Riffing on Celebrity Dating Patterns

• Taylor Swift’s Ex List:
  • The hosts cycle through Taylor’s exes, from John Mayer (who “just didn’t care”) to Jake Gyllenhaal and Conor Kennedy, with a running commentary on fame, relationships, and revenge.
• Speculation About Kelce’s Future:
  • John warns that Taylor’s romantic track record and cultish fanbase could make Kelce “a massive pariah” if he ever leaves.
  • Memorable Moment: “Imagine you’ve got hundreds of millions of bipolar girlfriends at once, because that’s what he’s got.” (08:17)

3. Sports Quirks & Fun Facts (“The Brett Report”) (16:01)

• No No-Hitters:
  • 2025 saw no MLB no-hitters — a 20-year rarity.
    • Bret: “That’s the first time that’s happened since 2005.” (17:16)
• Pitcher Management Rant:
  • John gripes about the modern, overprotective handling of pitchers compared to endurance legends like Nolan Ryan.
• Baseball Past vs. Present:
  • “267 pitches, 13 innings. Three days later, they’re back out there. Now it’s four innings, and it’s straight to the bullpen.” (16:45)
• Pop Culture Trivia & Banter:
  • Public breastfeeding didn't become fully legal in all states until 2018 (17:42).
  • Fewer than half of global cultures kiss (“Maybe it’s a hygiene thing.” – 18:57).
  • Dancing wasn’t allowed at Baylor University until 1996, a “Footloose” moment in real life. (20:16)
  • TMI on Burger King’s “Halloween Whopper” and colored poop (20:35), as well as Princess Leia's bikini as a collector’s item (21:00).

4. Outrageous News Stories

• Taco Bell 50K:
  • A Denver race required runners to eat Taco Bell at ten stops over 31 miles — both hosts react with a mix of revulsion and admiration for the participants.
    • “You had to actually eat the food, too, or you get disqualified...finish within 11 hours, keep your receipts and wrappers.” (23:02)
• Gold Digger States:
  • Least Gold Diggers: Vermont, Nebraska, Montana, Wyoming
  • Most Gold Diggers: Florida, Nevada, Texas, California, New York (25:04–25:55)
  • John jokes, “Hard to dig gold? You’re a coal digger.” and riffs on regional stereotypes.
• Salsa Heist:
  • $35,000 in salsa stolen from a Canadian truck, sparking deep thoughts on why salsa is free at restaurants but expensive at stores (28:09).
• Busch Light Name-Change Stunt:
  • The beer brand’s campaign will award someone 19 years of free beer for legally changing their name to "Hunter."
    • “Bush Hunter. No, no.” (29:11)

5. Hero Dog Story

• Doberman Fights Off Grizzly Bear:
  • A dog named Knight saved his owner from a bear in Canada, giving John reason to rant about people carrying bear spray in their backpack where it’s unreachable.
    • “You had to wait till the dog was in a fight and you had bear spray?” (29:58)
    • “That dog didn’t save the dude’s life, the dog saved his own life.” (30:31)

Notable/Funny Quotes

• On Travis Kelce’s Dilemma:
  • "Travis is marrying the Swifties." – John (12:05)
  • "Hundreds of millions of bipolar girlfriends at once." – John (08:17)
• On Culture & Dating:
  • "He cannot screw this up more than any other man in a relationship ever." – John (05:33)
  • "He's a lamb." – Bret on Kelce’s vulnerability (10:17)
• On No-Hitters:
  • "That's the first time that's happened since 2005." – Bret (17:16)
• On Salsa Economics:
  • "How can we pay for salsa everywhere but at restaurants?" – John (28:09)
• Gold Diggers:
  • "Hard to dig gold...you’re a coal digger." – John (24:49)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Taylor/Travis Swift Discussion: 03:16–13:00
• Brett Report – Fun Facts: 16:01–17:41
• Cultural Trivia (Kissing, Dancing, Breastfeeding): 17:42–20:27
• Taco Bell 50K Marathon: 21:40–23:28
• Gold Digger States Ranking: 24:24–26:25
• Salsa Heist, Beer Promotion: 27:35–29:14
• Dog vs. Grizzly Hero Story: 29:28–30:40

NSFW/Outrageous Video Segment

NOTE: Omitted content warnings apply—segment not summarized here for brevity and content moderation. Main thread:

• The hosts gag, cringe, and riff their way through a series of increasingly disturbing listener-submitted videos, ranging from bodily function stunts to extreme displays of flexibility. Their banter pokes fun at shock value, often veering toward the absurd.
  • “I challenge anyone to try to touch their butt with their toe.” – John (38:41)

Memorable Moments

• Bret and John’s detailed dissection of how high-profile relationships can become prisons under public scrutiny, particularly in the internet age.
• Quirky, genuine complaints about how things like salsa and bear spray are paradoxically used or priced.
• The hosts’ chemistry, quick-witted digs, and parade of odd news items keep the episode both engaging and unpredictable.

Tone & Style

The episode is quintessentially irreverent, rapid-fire, and unapologetically crude. John and Bret’s camaraderie thrives on exaggeration, self-aware “bad jokes,” and a willingness to explore uncomfortable or taboo subjects for comedic effect. Their morning radio style is conversational, reactive, and full of Arizona-and-male-centric cultural touchstones—all peppered with playful one-upsmanship and affectionate ribbing of absent cohosts.

For New Listeners:
Expect unfiltered commentary, pop culture takes, and “did you know?” factoids—delivered with equal parts side-eye and belly-laugh. Classic Holmberg’s Morning Sickness: Not for the faint of heart, but reliably sharp, self-deprecating, and always irreverent.