10-06-25 - Cardinals Give Game Away To Winless Titans After Being Up 15 in 4th - Mark Sanchez Stabbed And Arrested Following Altercation In Indy - Holmberg Rests Easy On His Mercury Tattoo Bet After They Go Down 2 Games To Aces

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Cardinals Give Game Away To Winless Titans..."

Holmberg's Morning Sickness – October 6, 2025

Episode Overview

This lively, sarcasm-heavy episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness sees John Holmberg and co-host Bret Vesely (with Brady Bogen and Dick Toledo both absent) deliver their signature blend of sports commentary, local color, and irreverent humor. The main themes include the Arizona Cardinals’ signature collapse against the Tennessee Titans, the bizarre altercation and arrest of Mark Sanchez, sports fan misery, and Holmberg’s anxiety (or lack thereof) over a Phoenix Mercury tattoo bet. It’s a mix of venting, mockery, and absurdity as only HMS delivers.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Team and Cast Updates (05:22)

• Brady is in Ohio for his mother’s surgery and took his dog along; Toledo is working remotely after misreading the vacation calendar.
• Holmberg and Bret joke about how it’s “better” without them.
• “Now, everything I’ve always said about Jonathan Gannon, coach of the Cardinals...may have gone away yesterday.” (03:02 – John H.)

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2. Arizona Cardinals’ Collapse vs. Titans (03:02–06:47)

• Detailed venting about the Cardinals’ 4th quarter meltdown, giving up a 15-point lead to the winless Titans, and losing on a last-second field goal.
• Critical of “mental collapse,” lack of focus, and poor on-field leadership.
• Specifics: dumb play-calling (running on 3rd & 8), pointless turnovers, players dropping the ball before scoring — and “third time it’s happened in two weeks.”
• Calls for blowing up the team: “If I’m a Cardinal fan, I’m starting to scream it...Blow the whole thing up.” (04:19 – John H.)
• Skewers Kyler Murray’s attitude: “He pouts, like, 10 times worse than he ever has. He’s just a mope.” (05:38–06:47 – John H.)

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3. Ravens Humiliation & Baltimore Roast (06:47–10:24)

• Holmberg celebrates the Ravens’ 44–10 blowout loss, using the opportunity for an extended roast about Baltimore’s crime, poverty, and fan base.
• "The highest number that a Ravens fan can get to without getting really confused is 44." (08:10 – John H.)
• "If you’re not bleeding, you look strange...Baltimore is a dump." (10:21 – John H.)
• Relishes how “it’s a fantastic time to hate Baltimore”.

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4. Mark Sanchez’s Bizarre Arrest in Indianapolis (10:54–16:47)

• The show’s “most fun story” is the inexplicable altercation leading to Sanchez being hospitalized and arrested.
• Recap: Sanchez, “belligerently drunk,” badgers a 70-year-old man in a hotel loading zone, gets pepper sprayed, beats up the man, gets stabbed in the chest, and is ultimately arrested for battery.
• "Stories are calling Mark Sanchez NFL great. Like, now he’s stretching a little bit... He was Butt Fumble." (11:08 – John H.)
• The altercation is described step by step, including speculation Sanchez may have stabbed the other guy. Both were hospitalized — “it was like West Side Story right there in Indianapolis.” (16:15 – Holmberg)

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5. Chargers Downfall and Justin Herbert–Madison Beer Sideline Smooches (17:02–21:08)

• Holmberg predicts doom for the Chargers because QB Justin Herbert (“Brad Zit”) is publicly dating Madison Beer, who’s making out with him pregame.
• “Unless Jim Harbaugh gets a hold of this and stops it, the Chargers are going to be terrible...” (17:02 – John H.)
• Long, tongue-in-cheek tangent rating Madison Beer’s looks, comparing her to Olivia Culpo and Megan Fox, while questioning what she does: “I think she's famous for being hot.” (19:05–20:28)
• Mock-conversation about forgiving celebrity bad behavior if they're attractive.

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6. Skin Care, Celebrity Endorsements, & Random Tangents (21:08–22:18)

• The hosts talk about male skin care, with specific product recommendations (“Ellen’s face cream,” “Cindy Crawford’s Meaningful Beauty”), humorously advocating certain routines.

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7. Holmberg’s Mercury Tattoo Bet – “I’ll Get It On My Head!” (22:18–24:09, 28:39–29:58)

• Holmberg recounts a standing bet to get a Phoenix Mercury tattoo if the team wins the WNBA Finals, feeling “rest easy” since the Aces are up 2-0.
• Doubles down: “Here we go. 6:05 AM, I, John Holmberg...will get the [Mercury] tattoo on the top of my head. I’m that confident the Mercury will not win.” (22:18–22:41 – John H.)
• Explains why women’s teams don’t come back from 0–2 down, poking fun at sports arguments and women’s group dynamics at restaurants.

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8. The Cardinals/Dream Jobs for Coaches? (24:19–26:18)

• Jokes about how “no one grows up wanting to coach the Cardinals”—contrasted to “real” football destinations like Packers or Steelers.
• “It’s never been a kid’s dream. It’s never been a current player’s dream. Someday I'm going to come back and coach this team. Everybody wants to coach, like, one of the bigs…” (26:17 – John H.)

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9. WNBA Finals Ridicule – Attendance, Ticket Prices & Scheduling (28:41–38:25)

• Holmberg lambasts the WNBA for scheduling its finals game at noon on NFL Sunday, sarcastically noting the league’s ongoing struggle for attention and relevance:
  • “Stupidest, worst run operation ever...They think there’s an audience...who’ll say, ‘I don’t like football, but I love women’s basketball’.” (29:06)
  • Mocks the two official watch parties: “Title IX is one of them — a lesbian sports bar...Just call yourself Title IX lesbian bar and get it out of the way.” (29:34–29:59 – John H.)
• Segment details wild Ticketmaster prices:
  • Courtside: $5,500/seat; some listed at $9,000+.
  • “That’s more than the players make!” (35:02 – John H.)
  • Predicts desperate price drops as the game approaches: “I bet you that $9,000 drops down to about seventy bucks.” (36:35 – John H.)
• Offers to get free tickets for KUPD listeners and repeatedly notes, in typically self-deprecating style, that he’s done more for the Mercury by talking trash than any local sports host: “I talk about you more than any other sports show. Now, none of it’s favorable, but I do talk about you because your product sucks.” (36:55 – John H.)
• Describes the play as so poor “you wouldn’t know those weren’t the two worst teams in the league…it was a mess.” (37:36 – John H.)
• Jokes about buying the worst seats possible and squinting so you imagine the action is “almost a dunk.”

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10. Closing & Miscellaneous Moments (39:09–End)

• Quick comic wrap-up about giving “the Mercury head” (classic double entendre).
• Concludes with traditional segment: soliciting a “wake up song” from the audience.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the Cardinals:
  “If I’m a Cardinal fan, I’m starting to scream it...Blow the whole thing up.” (04:19 – John H.)

• On Kyler Murray’s leadership:
  “He pouts...worse than he ever has. He’s just not a leader...the dude mopes around.” (05:38–06:47 – John H.)

• On Baltimore:
  “44 is usually when most people from Baltimore are introduced to their real dads for the first time...” (08:55 – John H.)

• On Mark Sanchez:
  “He was Butt Fumble. That’s what he always was prior to the stab.” (11:08 – John H.)

• On Chargers QB Justin Herbert:
  “Brad Zit...starting to date Madison Beer. And unless Jim Harbaugh gets a hold of this and stops it, the Chargers are going to be terrible...” (17:02 – John H.)

• On Mercury tattoo bet:
  “I will get the tattoo on the top of my head. I’m that confident...the Mercury will not win.” (22:18 – John H.)

• On WNBA Finals scheduling:
  “It is without question the stupidest, worst run operation ever...They think there's an audience...who’ll say, ‘I don’t like football, but I love women’s basketball’.” (29:06 – John H.)

• On Ticket Prices:
  “That’s more than the players make!” (35:02 – John H.)

• On the show's Mercury coverage:
  “I talk about you more than any other sports show...Now, none of it’s favorable, but I do talk about you.” (36:55 – John H.)

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Important Timestamps

| Segment | Timestamp | |-----------------------------------------------------------|----------------:| | Cardinals Game Breakdown & Rant | 03:02–06:47 | | Ravens Humiliation & Baltimore Roast | 06:47–10:24 | | Mark Sanchez Bizarre Arrest Story | 10:54–16:47 | | Chargers/Justin Herbert & Madison Beer Segment | 17:02–21:08 | | Holmberg’s Mercury Tattoo Bet Proclamation | 22:18–24:09 | | WNBA Finals & Ticket Prices Rant | 28:39–38:25 | | Conclusion – Mercury “Head” Double Entendre, Wrap | 39:09–End |

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Tone, Style, and Feel

• Cynical, sarcastic, riotously irreverent. The hosts punctuate their sports commentary with pop culture tangents and regional inside jokes.
• Original language preserved: Blunt, sardonic, playful—and occasionally crass.
• Focused on engaging, roasting, and commiserating with local fans (especially Cardinal and Mercury sufferers).

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For New Listeners

Even if football, basketball, and viral sports news aren’t your thing, this episode is a crash course in why Holmberg’s Morning Sickness dominates Arizona morning radio: nobody else skewers local teams, national headlines, and themselves with such combative, unfiltered energy.

If you missed the Cardinals meltdown, don’t worry—Holmberg will make you feel both the pain and the absurdity. If you want sports analysis with a side of stand-up comedy, this is your show.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for.

[A]

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[B]

For the complete lineups and for tickets.

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[B]

You'Ve been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil. Sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not evil. He's just a bit rud. Oh man. Work. Hello.

[A]

There we go.

[B]

Hang on. The one day I don't test the mic doesn't work. Come on. What's going on around here?

[A]

Let's go home.

[B]

Let's go home. Good morning everybody. And how are you? It's 5:45. Almost 5:46. Cuz the well. Cause the in here doesn't work.

[A]

It was a shocker.

[B]

There you go. My name's John Holmberg. How are you? I'm fine. There's no Brady today. There's Brett. There's no Toledo today.

[A]

What are we doing?

[B]

We're the Ravens. Only we're good. Ravens are dying. It's great. Brady's back in Ohio. His mom had a. Had a little surgery. So he took the opportunity to go out and see his mom, to see her. Everything's good. And then he took his dog. Jesus. This mic literally just chunked a part off.

[A]

It's a Toledo mic.

[B]

It's the Toledo mike. Well, am I talking into the Toledo Mike?

[A]

Yes, you are. God, we won't be here tomorrow.

[B]

No, now I'm gonna be out. It's all you tomorrow. So anyway. Yeah, so the. So Brady's not here and then Toledo made a bonehead move. And we had the three day weekend. So he scheduled himself for an extra day, thinking we had Monday off too. For a three day weekend.

[A]

The hell were we thinking?

[B]

I don't know. I didn't see this. I didn't see that on the calendar that he keeps in his office.

[A]

Bonehead or smart? You know, I mean, that's kind of where I'm at.

[B]

I mean, you know, you're too stupid to recognize your own calendar. If I would be bonehead, it would be smart if another guy also had that same thing. Like, oh, I thought we're off Monday too. None of us made the mistake. He's the only one who. And then he makes vacation plans. I don't even know where he went. But. So he's out and he's remotely working today. So this is even better that he's got to work, he's got to get up on his extra day off and do stuff. So we're. Yeah, we're having a time of our lives here. So far. It's great.

[A]

Paula's gonna be happy. Who, Paul? The Toledo haters.

[B]

Oh, she's real. There'll be no Toledo today. So PA of the Toledo hater can just be the happiest woman alive. Unless she's a Cardinal fan. Brett. Oh, my God. Now, everything I've always said about Jonathan Gannon, coach of the Cardinals, and how I think he's got it together, he's got to get the right pieces in place. May have gone away yesterday. Watching the end of that game and knowing that this team is just mentally gone, totally unfocused. I don't know if you watched the end.

[A]

I didn't get a chance.

[B]

There was. There was just a catastrophe of bad calls and running the ball on third and eight when I could have just put it away. A dude catches an interception, turns and just lays it on the carpet for the Cardinals. Just a nightmare. So they were up what, 20? I've heard they had this thing wrapped up, basically. And they end up. Lou. It was like 19, 7 or something like that. And they lose last second field goal to the Titans, who are just a mess too. A dude was running into the end zone and just dropped it before he went in. It was just. All of it was just crazy. That's two weeks in a row that's happened. Last week it happened in a game with the Colts. Dude running into the end zone, decided to start celebrating on the one. Pops the ball out of his hand and it starts doing his dance. And you're like, you didn't get in yet. Jackass happened again yesterday. Cardinals were the beneficiary of that yesterday.

[A]

I, I couldn't believe it.

[B]

I don't know. I don't know what the hell happened after. But they, they, they blew it. And it was heartbreaking to watch them blow it the way they did. And if I'm a Cardinal fan, I'm starting to scream it, I'm starting to say it now. Blow the whole thing up. It's time to just blow the whole thing up. It's bad, but I give Gannon all the credit in the world. And I have for the longest time saying I think he's a smarter coach than people give him credit for. And I think he's better than, you know what, what his team has shown. They're competitive, they're smart. Yesterday, I don't know. It looks really bad. So, Cardinal fans, I feel for you this morning. Actually, I have no idea what you're going through.

[A]

Oh, geez, what a day.

[B]

I don't, I really don't. I don't. I don't have a Super bowl team, but they're 3 and 1 and the Ravens are 1 and 4 and the Bills lost last night. The big winners this weekend were the Chiefs and Steelers so far. Cause Steelers didn't even have a game and gain ground on everything. It's awesome. And your Bears, they couldn't lose. It was great fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

We had a great weekend.

[B]

It's a nice, stress free weekend when you don't, you know, like all you do is watch your, you know, your nemesis start to die on a vine. It's great stuff.

[A]

I got no complaints with the Cardinals game. Is that a Kyler thing? Was it everybody? Was it a Marvin Harrison? Did he finally catch ball?

[B]

He was catching balls. Catch is the whole team. And people will be like, can't blame the coach for them. But they're being stupid on the field out loud. I don't think they have leaders on the field. And that's the bad part. And that's against Tennessee at home. That's a bad Tennessee team at home. Yeah, I was just, it's just a mess. And then you have to start going, all right, maybe coach Gannon hit his ceiling early. It's, it's, it's one really bad game to start saying, you know, tear it down. But if I was a Cardinal fan, I'd look at, I'd look at yesterday's game and go, all right, that's it. I've. I've been probably the only person in this city and you've been here for it. Who has expressed that? Kyler Murray got a raw deal when he got drafted here, and it was up to him to show that his talent was obviously good, but his head had to get wrapped around a game. He's a powder. He's a baby. And that had to be coached out or that had to. He had to figure out how to not do that anymore. He's worse than he's ever been. He pouts, like, 10 times worse than he ever has. He's got all the skill in the world. It's just. He can't wrap his head around the idea that he's. He's got to take the next step. He's just.

[A]

Is he Cammy Cam pouting at this point, or is it.

[B]

Yeah, Cam Cam would pout pretty hard. Kyler just pouts. I don't know that he's much of a. I don't know. There's. He's just not a leader. You can pout and still be a, you know, a guy who gets your team going, but he just. He's just a mope. There's a difference between a powder and a moper. And the dude mopes around. He's mopey. And the rest of the team is sort of. And that's on. You know, that's on everybody else. So they're just. It was a mess yesterday. The end of that game, you're just like, this team can't get out of its own way every single chance it gets. It was. It was horrendous. It was one of the worst I've seen as far as the last 10 minutes of a game. You're like, they're handing this thing to the. To the road team. Several opportunities to ice that one away, and they gave it up. So, Cardinal fans, you're having a tough one. Good news is you can go outside, enjoy the air, have a hike, do whatever, because it's perfect out right now. And you can not think about the Cardinals the way the rest of the country does, because that's really true. You're the only ones. That's one thing you can rest assured of, Cardinal fans. You're the only ones thinking about them. That's it. Nobody else cares about them. And that's. That means it's time for you to possibly just box it up and look at it and say, that'll do, pig. I'm done here. I don't want to play this anymore with the Cardinals. Yeah, but it's. That was bad. And then the Ravens lost Again, I was getting texts from people. I went golfing with a friend of mine who's. Who comes to my house for Steeler games, John Sharpnick. And John decided. He's like, let's just take Sunday and do something else. I'm like, good all day getting texts. I bet you're all over the place. I'm like, why? Like, the Ravens are losing 24 to. I'm like, what? Like, literally just started just tugging it right there at the golf course. Saw the final score, 44 to 10, Brett. And I don't care if they're injured or excuse after excuse. It's your fault. You have Cooper Rush behind Lamar Jackson. Hilarious. Oh, my God. And it is the highest. This is a fact. The highest number that a Ravens fan can get to without getting really confused is 44. So you got to hand it to the Texans for going to the. The ceiling of the brain power of a Ravens fan and say, here, we're not going to make it confused that there are numbers higher than 44. Because that's it for them. Usually that's as long as they live. They're either involved in some sort of stabbing or shooting in downtown Baltimore way before they're 44. But 44, you're usually a grandparent at 44, and your grandkids are starting high school about then in Baltimore. It's a disaster of a town. 44 is usually when most people from Baltimore are introduced to their real dads for the first time, which is. Well, most of the time, the real dad leaves Baltimore and he lives a lot longer. And you get to 44, you're on your deathbed, because again, like I said, you've been shot or stabbed in downtown Baltimore, and then your real dad finally makes it back to say hello and goodbye to you. It's a fantastic. It's a fantastic time to hate Baltimore. A fantastic time.

[A]

Toledo should have moved to Baltimore.

[B]

Oh, dad was showing up. I just love it because it makes me want to watch the Wire again and make me put my brain in where a Baltimore Ravens fan would be and say they have to watch the Wire and go, this is when this city was good. Because if you've ever watched the Wire, it is. It is Baltimore's. It's. It's like. It's like the dynasty of Baltimore. You know, it's the richest and most successful people of Baltimore, and they're all crackheads. It's. Oh, no, they're all crack inner city killers. But that's the. That's the royalty of Baltimore. What A dump is what I'm saying. An absolute. You've been there. Oh, yeah, it's a dump.

[A]

The only good thing is Camden Yards. Yeah, that's it. Beautiful baseball field, but that.

[B]

Yeah, a lot of cities have nice baseball smells.

[A]

All the way around it, though.

[B]

Smells like brackish crab water. And that's just the women don't even get close to the actual water. The sewers are perfume there. It's much better when that. When you actually have an open sewer line, it's like, oh, finally the city smells good. I don't smell Baltimorean. Oh, what a great. What a great day it is to do. I might even have to start doing that happy dance again. I might have to do it. And then, of course, in the football world this weekend, the most fun story, Mark Sanchez. Yeah.

[A]

Where did that come from?

[B]

I. No clue. I've been speculating like crazy. But finally they started to release some details. And here's the thing I find funny stories are calling Mark Sanchez NFL great. Like now he's stretching a little bit. Stabbed a couple of times. Doesn't make you better at football. He was, okay, like USC legend. And I'm like, no, Mark Sanchez, NFL awesome quarterback in that. Like, no, he was Butt Fumble. That's what he always was prior to the stab. And we called him Butt Fumble. Every time you talk about Mark Sanchez in a story, it'd be all, but Fumble did this, but Fumble did that. Now he's NFL great because he took a knife to the chest by a 70 year old man. So the story goes, evidently. And I don't know how much of it's changed since the last I saw last night. He was drunk, like belligerently drunk, and walked up to a dude at a hotel who was parked and unloading a truck of whatever the hotel needs. And he was in a loading zone or a dock or something. And Mark Sanchez came up and said, you can't be here. We gotta get you out of here. And the old man leaned forward and smelled him like, you're bombed. Like, all right.

[A]

Was he a valet now?

[B]

You can't park here, he said, hotel security told me to tell you, you gotta get this out of here. He's like, what? And then he starts to climb in the guy's car. And so the dude. I didn't read this until this morning. Evidently the dude pepper sprayed him while he's in there. He turns, starts getting to a little scuffle with him, shoves him up against the wall. I haven't seen the pictures, but they've been released of what Mark Sanchez did to this dude and he gave him a couple of good ones. And maybe Mark Sanchez stabbed this guy. It's the whole Sanchez name thing. He couldn't help it. So then the guy, you know, the 70 year old man's like in self defense, stabs Mark Sanchez a couple of times and sends him to the hospital. Holmberg's Morning Sickness Medicate Kupd Holmberg's Morning.

[D]

Sickness Podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. Back to School Workplace Upheaval Relationship Stress Deadline anxiety We all go through these moments in our daily lives that leave our mental health and wellness on shaky ground. It's Dick Tolito from Holmberg's Morning Sickness for Better Help I personally have felt the benefits of therapy to get through a rough patch and to give me a way to navigate that tough time and a strategy to recognize when I'm not handling situations my best. And with over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform. With BetterHelp, you can join a session with a therapist at the click of a button and switch therapists anytime to help you fit therapy into your life where it's best. As the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a broad array of expertise. So give yourself a helping hand and talk it out with Better Help. Morning sickness Listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com Holmberg that's betterhelp H E L P.com Holmberg Hey Byron.

[A]

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[C]

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[A]

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[B]

And no one knows why this whole thing went down the way it did. It's in Indianapolis, of all things, too. It's not like Baltimore. Yeah. Yes, yes, exactly, Brett. It's not like you're sitting around Baltimore where You expect a stabbing. In fact, in a Baltimore restaurant, you get stabbed right before the bill comes. Everyone does. You can't. You have to get stabbed in Baltimore. It's a dump where if you. If you're not bleeding, you look strange. But yeah, the Mark Sanchez thing is really weird. And the more I read about, like, what was going on with it, the more I kept thinking, Mark March. Yeah. Try to find the photos of the guy he beat up, because that's the big one. It's weird. And the story just kept popping up. At first it was, oh, poor Mark Sanchez. Then he gets arrested. So the story comes up, Mark Sanchez in hospital in critical condition, also under arrest for battery and all sorts of stuff. And they booked him. It was all misdemeanors, but he was in there. They charged him with battery, resulting in injury, public intoxication, unlawful entry of a motor vehicle. And then they had no idea, like, how the guy who he fought had a big cut on his jaw that went all the way through his cheek into his tongue. So, yeah, Mark Sanders had to have a little stabby. Must have gotten stabby there too. So. Butt fumble. It was what he will always be. You can't make him a hero now. It's because he's got a hole in him. But, yeah, that's a weird one. And of all the people like Mark Sanchez, you'd never guess. Like, he seems so sort of even on a football field, he just seems sort of like, meh. He's just the middle of the pack there. Yeah. He's just showed up. But the dude almost killed him. And he. And he's claiming self defense. And evidently it's all backed up. His story to the cops was backed up by all the surveillance footage. And the.

[A]

The car or the.

[B]

The guy that got that stabbed him.

[A]

Oh, man.

[B]

The guy that stabbed him was like, here's what happened. And they're like, oh, yeah. And then his story lines up. So he's. It's weird. The dude's got a neck brace on, and it's like blood all over him. He's all he's got. He got. I mean, Mark Sanchez drunkenly beat the. Be Jesus out of this dude. And he wasn't thinking. The guy's 69 years old. And he said somehow or another, not sure how he got. But cut through his cheek all the way. It hit his tongue. So I think Sanchez was throwing knives with this guy. It was like west side Story right there in Indianapolis.

[A]

So I never thought of. Sanchez is a badass, and I'm like.

[B]

No, but fumble, Brett.

[A]

Mark Sanchez was God.

[B]

Fumbled the guy, but fumbled once. It was great. He was okay.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, he wasn't bad, but he was middle of the road.

[B]

He took the jets to an AFC championship game in 2010, and I believe the Steelers were the team that beat them. Oh, here we went to the Super Bowl. They lost that Super Bowl. They still went. Mark Sanchez didn't. But butt fumble is what he's known for. But I'm reading a ton of NFL great, NFL legend. I'm like, why are we doing that? Just because he's got holes in him. And I'd also like to predict the downfall of the Chargers. I'll say it here. Well, they lost yesterday. The. The downfall of the Chargers is because Justin Herbert, who I call Brad Zit because he's always got acne, but he's a good looking man with acne, is starting to date Madison Beer. And unless Jim Harbaugh gets a hold of this and stops it, the Chargers are going to be terrible because she was on the sidelines before the game yesterday and they were making out. You can't have that. You just can't. It's like, how weird would it be if every day Brady and Ronnie were making out before the show would be like, I don't want this around every day. I'd have to go over as the coach and say, hey, man, keep the wife off the sidelines. She's got a place at home. You can do that at home, but you can't. You know, she can get a press pass and she can hang around, but when you're, when you're out on the grass, she's nowhere near you. Nope. They kissed, shook hands with someone else. Then he reaches down, they give her a big smooch on the side. I'm like, this is what Belichick's doing. And he's losing like crazy. So I like Herbert. I like him. I like him, too, especially because of who he's dating. Have you seen Madison Beer? Oh, Madison, be like, do yourself a favor, everybody at work. Madison Beer is worth a peak. She's kind of a Olivia Culpo and Megan Fox combo. And I also don't know what she does. I just know she's. I think she's famous for being hot. But she also evidently sings stuff. But no one's ever heard a Madison Beer song, I'm sure of. Yeah, yeah, she saw. There they are just making out in the sidelines. It's. That's the end. When it comes, look. Well, yeah, yeah. She's pretty good. I don't. I don't know. If I wasn't Brad Zit, if I wouldn't be doing the exact same thing.

[A]

Nice kill, kid.

[B]

Yeah. I'd be like, oh, there's my girlfriend over there. It's like all your. All the guys in the, like, right now. Madison Beer was in the hallway. Be like, hey, Brett, that's my. That's my girlfriend. He'd be like, shut up. I'm like, watch this. I go over and I'd start making out with her just to prove it to the dudes. Yeah, she's pretty solid. No clue what she does for a living, except first, you don't have to. No, when you look like, show up, you don't. Yeah, you just show up for a living. I show up.

[A]

She does. Got that Megan Fox.

[B]

She's got Megan Fox and a little Olivia Culpo. That's a nice combo. And there she is with her pants coming off. That's a pretty good shot.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

She's in the kitchen wearing a big tiger head. You can get away with so much when you're good looking. You just put a tiger head on.

[A]

And people never know.

[B]

I'll never have that experience. I'll never know brutal what that is. And she's culturally appropriating. She's dressed like an Indian in some of these. Nobody cares when you're that hot. She's not black face hot, but she's awfully close. I don't know that people would be too mad if Madison Beer went out as Diana Ross for Halloween and did the makeup.

[A]

I'd give her the pass.

[B]

Yeah, I think everybody's gonna pretty. Yeah, that picture right there, she's like. If she was looking at me with that picture. You got up on the screen right now and said, I'm gonna do blackface for Halloween. I'd be like, that's a good idea. I don't think I'd discourage anything.

[A]

I take her to Spirit Halloween store. Here's the makeup. Do what you need to do.

[B]

Oh, I'd take her to. Well, I just take her to the computer and say, here's Al Jolson videos. Do your best. She is just. Yeah, she's just hot enough. Yeah. Standing on the sidelines, though. There's Brad Zit wandering over there giving her smooches. Brad Zit. I've always called him Brad Zit and now everyone will see it next time. Oh, I will say this year he's gotten into like Ellen DeGeneres face program or something. Like the. The. The creamer and the. The overnight. Look at that shot. Good Christ. Get those off the screen. Anyway, because his. His skin is much better than it's been in the past. It's much better.

[A]

Maybe he's using the Cindy Crawford thing.

[B]

Meaningful Beauty is a good one. I moved on, though. I do use the Ellen product, and I'm not a big fan of Ellen. Well, Portia de Rossi, her wife, has such spectacular skin that I was up late one night and they had a commercial on for that, and Portia claimed she used it. And I'm like, porsche, skin's fantastic. And I forget it's just Ellen. I think it's. I don't remember what it's called. And then Ellen's talking about, this is what I use in this. So I'm like, why not? So I ordered it up. Spectacular comparison. What's that? Crawford's Meaningful Beauty sucks. What sucks? This stuff's really good. I'm a big fan. Brett highly recommended it for your olive tones. Hop on your olive skin and get the Cindy Crawford stuff because it's phenomenal. I actually really like it. Yeah. So that's a good one. And also, I wanted to get into this because none of this, what we're talking about this morning, matters at all because, well and all. Oh, I forgot about this. Thank you to the Las Vegas Aces. I woke up this morning to find out that they're up 20 in the tattoo finals, I like to call it, because I have to get a Mercury tattoo if they win the finals. No way. Now nobody's coming back from a two.

[A]

Oh, don't do it.

[B]

It can't happen. Brett. I'm going to add to the. Here we are. Here we go. 6:05am on the 6th of October, 2025. I, John Holberg, host of this very show, with already a tattoo. I will get the tattoo on the top of my head. I'm that confident, Brett, that the Mercury will not win.

[A]

What is wrong with you?

[B]

World Championship. You heard it here with you at 10. What was at 6:05am? 10, 6:25. There will be a Mercury tattoo on the top of my head if they win the championship already. I'm willing to get the tattoo out of your mind. I don't know what you're doing on my chest or back or anything stupid. I will put a Mercury tattoo on the. The logo right on the crown of my head. A perfect Mercury logo crown of my head if they win the world Championship.

[A]

What about the 04 Red Sox?

[B]

Stop it. I'm just saying that's men's sports. That's. These chicks are all fighting. And you know, you go down.02 in a finals, they're all to the. All right, girls, we're gonna get out there and we're gonna do this thing. You're gonna be all right. And then later we'd win if it wasn't for that shonda bitch. They're. They're infighting. There's no way you fall. Oh, two in the finals and have a gaggle of women stay together. It's not happy. They can't even stay together at a Postino's Bill. They could have had the time of their lives. All through Postino's, the bill comes and they're all yelling at each other about who owes what for the tea. I didn't even have wine. I had a tea. That's a dollar 25. Why am I paying for her wine? They had a nice time three seconds ago. Not anymore. On my head. Directly on the crown of my head. You heard it here. If those Phoenix Mercury have a championship trophy at the end of this series.

[A]

You'Re out of your mind.

[B]

No, I'm not, Brett. I'm the most sound man in all of radio.

[A]

You see? Did you see this? Someone just sent this.

[B]

Oh, no. Of Gannon 30 take a swing at somebody. Yeah, he sure did. One of his own players punch the dude in the tummy. I would too if I was here. And then I'd walk right up and I'd punch my mother in the mouth. Forever being proud of me. You're gonna be there. You know what no one's ever said in football? Brace yourselves, Cardinal fans. No one ever has ever said, when I grow up, I'm gonna coach the Arizona Cardinals. It's never been a goal. Like, think of it. Think of how many coaches who are coaches thought to themselves, the one team that I want to coach for the Arizona card. Not like that Kenny Dillingham, who's insane, who wanted to be asu. Like, that's his end goal.

[A]

He might be the Cardinals next coach at this rate.

[B]

Well, you know what? Not a bad idea. But his end goal was to coach the Sun Devils. And I'm still baffled by. And I still don't believe it. I still don't believe him when he says that stuff. I just don't. I don't. I don't buy anybody saying that. This mid level college compared to like what great colleges, Ohio or something like that. I mean, that's Alabama, lsu, Clemson might come calling because they've got a little issue. I can't imagine he would say no. And all these people blinded by it, all these people in town, no. He wants to be at issue. He loves it there. He went there. I'm like, yeah, but lots of people went there. Lots of people would like to coach here but not, you know, forever. Like if Ohio State calls, if LSU calls, if Clemson calls, he's definitely going to be like, oh, I've got to consider that like 10 million bucks a year. But he's evidently, he's the, the weirdo, he's the outlier. No one has ever said, well I'm going to coach the Arizona Cardinals and that's it. That's my goal. It's never been a kid's dream. It's never been a current player's dream. Someday I'm going to come back and coach this team. Everybody wants to coach like one of the bigs, the Cowboys, the Packers, Steelers, Bears even to a certain degree.

[A]

But not Cardinals.

[B]

Not the Cardinals. You'd laugh at someone who said that. What do you do for like Dale Hellstraight? Coaches the high school thing comes back and like what's the end goal here? Someday I want to coach the Titans. Like that's low bar. You might do that actually. Sunburn's morning sickness medicate get you pd.

[A]

We're here with Byron from MMP Guns. Byron, why should someone choose to go to MMP Guns?

[C]

The choice is simple, Brett. MMP Guns is your one stop shop for all your shooting needs. We offer Arizona's largest selection handguns, rifles, shotguns, new and pre owned. We also have a large selection of ammunition, accessories and even TR. In fact right now all pre owned firearms are 20% off. All new firearms are 10% off. We have Ammo Inc. 9 millimeter hollow points for only $12.99 a box and much more.

[A]

Well, it sounds like M and P Guns is committed to providing the customers with the best possible service and selection.

[C]

That's a fact. You can visit us at the store at northeast corner of 12th street and Indian School or online at m and.

[B]

P guns.com hey everybody, it's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness and you hear me all the time talking about my friends at Lost Our Home Pet Rescue. We do the pick of the litter and it's brought to you by our friends at Turf Monsters. AZ.com Every week I head over to Lost Our Home Pet Rescue and I meet a brand new beautiful animal that needs a home. The work they do at Lost Our Home is unbelievable. Not just your average pet shelter, that is for sure. They help people in a lot of situations. Look them up online. Lost our home.org and check out everything we do at 98kupd.com in the pick of the litter section. Home birds, morning sickness.

[A]

Anyway, you think it's that way when these guys get drafted to, like, Marvin Harrison when he got driven.

[B]

Like, happy to be in the NFL, But I have a feeling there's like six or seven teams that you got your fingers crossed for. They all say that. I just. I just. Whoever drafts me as a gift and blah, blah. No, of course you want to go.

[A]

To, like, maybe your hometown team in most cases, you know, but you also.

[B]

Want to go to a team that's like a winner, right? Getting drafted by the Browns, you're then strapped with the weight of fixing it. Cardinals are the same, you know, you have to go there and be the guy. You have to be the savior. It's extra pressure. You don't need to. This guy says, I always thought that Mark was the widest dude in existence with the last name Sanchez. Apparently living up to that last name now with all the stabby stabs. That's true. He got. He went fully stereotypical by having the Sanchez stab Five minutes now. Brett, I'm into my tattoo on top of my head proclamation.

[A]

They're coming in, too.

[B]

Oh, bring it. It's fine. It's ot. I'm gonna make you root for the Mercury. I'm gonna make you. I am. Hey, Mercury. Hey, you dumb WNBA executives. What is it? WNBA executives. Do they. Yeah. Do they run radio also? Because, talk about stupid. Let's have our NBA finals start at noon on Sunday. In football.

[A]

Who does this? What is going on?

[B]

It is the. It is without question the stupidest, worst run operation ever. They are so blind to how much work they have to do to be accepted that they think there's an audience out there in America who'll say, yeah, I don't like football, but I love women's basketball. There is a, like, a tiny group of people who do that. I saw a thing last night. They were talking about the watch parties for the Mercury's finals game on Sunday.

[A]

Parties. Plural.

[B]

Party. There are two. Two.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Title nine is one of them. Okay, yeah, Title nine. Lesbian sports bar over there and lesbian area town. Fine. Having a lesbian. Bart's great. But you are what you are. And don't. Don't get mad when that's what it is, because I'll tell you right now, if one of your features in Title 9 is women's sports on the TVs and you're showing Mercury Parties. You're a lesbian bar. You don't. You just call yourself Title 9 lesbian bar and get it out of the.

[A]

Way what it is.

[B]

Stop making it seem like a bunch of dudes are gonna, you know, wrap their day up at your bar. It's not happening. What do you got on TV showing the Bills Patriots game? Well, no, we're women's sports only. Oh, it's a lesbian bar. How dare you. It's a lesbian bar. So they had one in some other place, and they had cameras in them to show, and there was a smattering of broads there. It wasn't packed by any means, like it should be for a finals, but. O2 Brett down 02. And I am well on my way to not having a tattoo directly on the crown of my head. And I mean, you know the logo, the M with the Whatever that hell that was. That a basketball?

[A]

I don't even know what it is.

[B]

Get that weird M. Maybe I'll just get the weird on my head. W. If you look at me from behind.

[A]

Quiet, John. You'll get the aces assassinated at this ring. Everybody wants you to get that tat.

[B]

Well, that's the thing, dumbass. Wnba. I'm making your product more interesting by using my body as canvas for a terrible idea. And now people who would have never paid attention to it are paying attention. The KUPD audience would never have paid attention to the Mercury. Even if they've got daughters, they just go, oh, that's great, honey. They act like they're paying attention. Now they have vested interest because of me. You're welcome, you idiots. When's your next finals game? 3am tonight.

[A]

That's what it should be.

[B]

It might as well. Why not? It's at a time in the middle of the day on a Sunday, Week five of the NFL.

[A]

See, when it is.

[B]

Even baseball smart enough to know don't run four games on Sundays. They had two baseball games yesterday, four on Saturday. They rattled out a bunch of playoff games. They took a couple of teams and said, take days off. We'll load you up on other days. You can't have. You're not going to compete with football. It's just not happening. It's the. It's been the number one show on TV for 15 straight years. It's not. And you decide to put a girls basketball game on in the middle. Please.

[A]

Wednesday back in Phoenix.

[B]

Yeah, I know.

[A]

Let's see.

[B]

You going to the watch party?

[A]

I'm gonna see where we get tickets.

[B]

You want to go, how much are.

[A]

Tickets to this thing?

[B]

What do they cost? What? I wonder what that is. But it's a great headline. Aces take commanding two zero series lead after defeating the Mercury. Had a big one. But I'll have that tattoo right on top of my melon. And I have no fear of that. I don't. I'm not worried it's gonna happen because it's not. I don't even know what the score was yesterday, but I'm assuming. Was it lopsided? That's another one. If the. If I was allowed but the Bob's got so crazy weird, I would do another million dollar game. Or I would say, who is the leading scorer in yesterday's championship? I'd tell you that question already and just randomly call someone for a million dollars and they nobody name the starting five. Can't be done. It can't be done.

[A]

91. 78. Aces blow up game two one was a little closer. 86. 89.

[B]

That's close. Yeah, but down 02.

[A]

Let's see. How much can we get?

[B]

I swear to you, you could go to a team of scientists trying to solve like cancer and all sorts of illnesses and everything else and say, hey, smartest guys in the world, who are the starting five players for the Phoenix Mercury? And none of them would know. Then you could go to a lesbian bar and I bet you'd be hard pressed to get all five names.

[A]

Well, here you go. You can get Courtside seats for 5,500 bucks.

[B]

$5,500American.

[A]

That's courtside though.

[B]

To. So what? You're still at a WNBA game. That's more than the players make.

[A]

Let's see.

[B]

What are these? If the players win the championship, I bet you they don't get more than 5,500 bucks each.

[A]

There you go. Then get cart side over here for.

[B]

36, hundred American dollars. Oh, yeah. Which for two tickets. No, that's each single ticket for the people selling those on Ticketmaster are out of their mind.

[A]

Yep, there you go. Per ticket. And you got to buy both. So 15 grand.

[B]

That comes with dinner and a BJ.

[A]

I come with anything.

[B]

What? Get what? What is it? What is like 15 rows back cost?

[A]

Here we go.

[B]

This is obscene.

[A]

Yeah, Give me like center section 114, row one. Okay. That's still 553.

[B]

$553 for a corner in the front row?

[A]

Yep.

[B]

All right. At 114 is on the. On the edge. It's on this. On the sliver corner. And Those are only 500 bucks, which is still 400 too high. What is 120 rows back? Look at them. How many people are selling their merch? 273 for 273 bucks. My seats, my tickets for the suns were section 103, row 15. Right? Right. Yeah. Behind the visitor's bench, about 12 rows up. One section over. One more. One more. There you go. Yeah. Aisle seats. What do you got?

[A]

There's row 11. Couple in. That's $307.

[B]

Still too high. That's obscene.

[A]

There's your aisle seats 355 and row 8.

[B]

And they're still. They're still for sale for a reason.

[A]

You didn't buy those? No, that's your son's tickets.

[B]

You're saying that it would cost me $800 to get good seats. Not great, but good seats.

[A]

Where's Hopkins seats? He's down.

[B]

Hopkins, right behind the visitor bench. They're for sale, actually. See, his seats are actually for sale. Right. Literally. Right. Oh, right here. Yeah. 1700 bucks a ticket for girl basketball and you have to sit behind the bench and listen to all that complaining.

[A]

And the smell.

[B]

All right, let's. But the men smell too. I'm not going to go down that road. But. Yes, yes, that too. But the difference between a men's game and the women's game is at least you can see over the women sitting down. The men. You can't when you're sitting in. Doug seats, the benches, all seven feet. I would honestly if you just said how much for a front row seat to the Mercury's finals? I'd have said maybe $1,000.

[A]

You see this one?

[B]

No. What the hell is that? Is that a 9? Yeah.

[A]

92. 25.

[B]

For what? 103.

[A]

103 F row A seats 9 and 10.

[B]

That's. That's terrible.

[A]

And that's per ticket. So it's almost somebody grand per ticket.

[B]

Someone thinks they're going to get $20,000 for their pair of tickets for the Mercury Championship.

[A]

And that don't include, you know, the, the Ticketmaster fees and everything else.

[B]

You're going over 20 grand to go see the Mercury play the Aces. We have to keep an eye on those very seats because as Wednesday shows up, I bet you that nine thousand dollar drops down to about seventy bucks. That would be, my guess is like somewhere around 80 or $90.

[A]

Are we in at 70? Are we gonna go sit on the floor for 70 bucks?

[B]

Yes. Actually, I got. I can make A phone call and just say, hey, you got some seats up front? Nobody's fine. Yeah, they're. They're hotcakes. Yeah, okay. They're hotcakes on a road nobody wants. You're not eating these. We'll take two free tickets, please. And by the way, Mercury, you owe me tickets because of all the great advertising I'm doing for your crappy product. I talk about you more than any other sports show or talk show in this city. I talk about them constantly. Now, none of it's favorable, but I do talk about you because your product sucks. I watched the first two or three minutes of that game Friday night. You wouldn't know those weren't the two worst teams in the league. It was a mess.

[A]

Here, we can get in section 200.

[B]

They're selling the upper deck. They never do that. What's the.

[A]

What's 40 bucks?

[B]

$40 to go to a finals game?

[A]

But that's against the wall. That's, like, on the ceiling.

[B]

Yeah, I'd rather sit there. You're further away from that horrible product. You can actually squint and maybe make it. Okay. If I got. If I had to buy tickets to a Mercury game, it would be back row, upper deck, and then I'd squint and play, pretend it was, like, the high school finals or something. And you might fool yourself into thinking that she almost dunked it.

[A]

Any sweets open?

[B]

Good Christ, man. Nine grand. You're out of your mind. If you break out of. You're out of your mind. You know what's funny is the guy who posted that on Ticketmasters, like, I put it down for nine. That was Mark Sanchez and the guy this weekend were goofing around on the Internet. $9,000 for Mercury tickets. No.

[A]

Call your guy. And let's get a suite and bring a bunch of listeners to that thing, okay? I mean, I can't cost, what, more than 100 bucks?

[B]

I should. I'll call. I'm gonna call Dylan, and I'm like, hey, man, evidently there's some sort of championship going on Wednesday. Don't start. Because he'll go, man, it's amazing. You should have known her. There's no vibe. Don't. You're lying to yourself. Everybody at that. That arena slapping high fives like people are paying attention. Nobody cares. I want a suite. And we're gonna load it up with KUPD listeners because of all the free advertising you've gotten on cupd for years. But now, especially with this. Now there's something riding on this championship that People care about my head. That's right, Mercury. I'm giving you my head. I'm giving the Mercury head.

[A]

It's never been said before over there.

[B]

Never been said. No one has ever wanted to give the Mercury head more than me. And I'm doing the Merc. All right. It's just Brett and I today, and we're having. It's already fun. You know, this would have been like if Brady didn't make it through a surgery. And it's almost like Toledo's not here every day. It's pretty good. Let's get a wake up song, shall we? 585-9800. A good one. And we'll scream it together. It's 98 KUPD. Wake up. It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee. I have heard enough of this. Fanduel is getting you ready for kickoff with an offer you won't want to miss. New customers can bet just $5. 300 in bonus bets. If you win, bet 5 bucks. And if it wins, you'll unlock 300 bucks in bonus bets to use all across the app. It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness. And I'm loving FanDuel and football being back, building parlays like crazy. And you can build parlays, bet player props, ride the live lines. Whatever your style, FanDuel has got you covered. And all you have to do is visit fanduel.comkupd to download the FanDuel app today and get started. I'll be all over my Steelers this week. It's going to be a blast for me. FanDuel.com KUPD is the promo code. Put it in there and download the FanDuel app today. 21 plus and present in Arizona. First online real money wager only. 5$. First deposit required. Bonus issued is non withdrawable bonus bets which expire seven days after receipt. Restrictions apply. See [e-mail] gambling problem. Call 1-800-next- step or text next step to 533-42. Whoa. Wayne, did you hear that? Sounded like a monster. Not a monster, Larry. Just in need of Amco. Grinding, clunking, screeching those noises mean trouble. So what do you do when your car sounds haunted? That's easy. Bring it to an amco. Our experts will diagnose the problem and get you back on the road quickly. No tricks, just treats. So this Halloween, don't fear the road. Fear missing out on great amco service. Google Amco for your nearest location. That's Amco double A MCO transmissions and.

[A]

A whole lot more.