10-06-25 - Challenging Bret To Say Name Of East Indian 13yo Who Is Such A Genius It Makes All Gilbert Teens Seem Dumb

Summary

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Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – Arizona

Episode: Challenging Bret To Say Name Of East Indian 13yo Genius
Date: October 6, 2025

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Overview

This episode blends Holmberg’s trademark blend of humor, local flavor, sports rants, and irreverent social commentary. The central theme: celebrating (and marveling at) a 13-year-old Arizona genius of East Indian heritage—Akshay Lakshminarasimhan—whose scientific prowess exposes the ordinary (and, as Holmberg puts it, sometimes “dumb”) nature of typical Gilbert teens. Holmberg challenges co-host Bret to pronounce the prodigy’s complex name for $1,000, using the segment to riff on cultural differences, parenting, and expectations for kids.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Local Sports and the Phoenix Mercury Bet (01:40–07:15)

• Holmberg rants about his ongoing tattoo bet if the Phoenix Mercury win the WNBA finals, expressing disbelief at their chances and frustration with being the only voice covering the event.
  • Quote (B, 06:45): “You want to know Mercury basketball, come to me. I’ll tell you all about it. And I’ll be honest, it’s terrible. But I watch, so you don't have to.”
  • He jokes that his commitment has made him the “Jesus Christ of the WNBA” in Phoenix, suffering so the fans don’t have to watch.

2. Editorial on Kids’ Intelligence (09:59–10:22)

• Holmberg launches into a comedic diatribe about the mediocrity of local (especially “Gilbert”) kids compared to national-level prodigies.
  • Quote (B, 10:00): “All your kids are stupid. Oh, yeah. All of them are stupid. You all think you’ve got a special one, and you don't.”

3. Highlighting Akshay Lakshminarasimhan – Teenage Genius (10:24–13:02)

• The hosts celebrate (and ridicule their own intellectual inadequacy in light of) local 13-year-old Akshay, a top “junior innovator.”
• Akshay’s project: “Exploring the interplay between Earth's magnetic field, solar activity, climate variability, and human settlements.”
• The crew is awestruck—then tries to imagine their own teens being that articulate or focused.
  • Akshay’s quote (E, 11:13): “[in Akshay's voice] What did I conclude? Well, first, solar activity shows more pronounced correlation with El Niño La Niña activity, specifically with El Niño events following solar maxima, typically by a year or so. My second conclusion is that geomagnetic field variations actually impact and affect our upper atmospheric wind patterns.”
  • Holmberg retorts (B, 11:30): “Now look at your 13-year-old kid. And if he doesn't start the next sentence with ‘bruh, take me to Chick-fil-A,’ you’ve raised idiots.”

4. The Pronunciation Challenge (13:02–14:39)

• Holmberg offers Bret escalating sums (starting at $1,000) if he can pronounce Akshay’s full name correctly, leading to a string of failed, hilarious attempts.

  • Quote (A, 12:06): “As Shay…” (instantly collapses into laughter)
  • Quote (B, 12:45): “Indians enough. That's not a word. The reason their kids are so smart is because they've got to wrestle the alphabet every day just to write their own names down.”

• The bit becomes a running joke: each failed attempt lowers the dollar amount, and the crew riff about how Indian names with 20+ letters must exercise kids’ brains.

5. Indian Names, Parental Expectations, and Stereotypes (15:12–18:48)

• Holmberg and crew riff on the challenges of spelling Indian names, poking fun at their own simple “John” and “Bret” monikers, contrasting with Akshay’s alphabet-busting full name.
  • Quote (B, 15:23): “Yeah, I was five before I could spell John with any sort of reasonable… you know… consistency with the letters. But Akshay had to fight all the letters in the alphabet.”
• They slip into some broad, satirical stereotypes about Indian and “Gilbert” parenting, college admission, and future jobs (doctor, call center, etc.).
  • Quote (B, 16:13): “He’s either going to be your doctor or he’s going to chase you down for your Discover payment.”
• The show advises parents: “Encourage your daughters to date the Indian kids,” as they’re future high-earners.
  • Quote (B, 17:49): “If you've got a daughter right now… encourage her to nail the Indian kids. They're all going to be doctors and wealthy scientists.”

6. Name Pronunciation: Google Attempts and Language Jokes (22:31–26:08)

• Testing pronunciation tools and mock-defeated attempts, the team plays Google Voice’s attempt at Akshay’s name.
  • Quote (F, 23:57): “Lakshmi Narasimh.”
  • Quote (B, 24:11): “Genius is what that means in whatever language he speaks. Just English, but he's American. But the name is automatically going to get dismissed.”
• The conversation returns to the running joke: if your name is the hardest thing you do all day, your brain's going to be sharp for everything else.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Holmberg on WNBA attention (06:45): “You want to know Mercury basketball, come to me… I am the Lord and savior. I am taking on all the sins of that league so you don't have to.”
• On parenting and kids' smarts (10:00): “All your kids are stupid… You don’t have a special one.”
• Akshay’s precision, actual quote (11:13): (See above.)
• On Indian names, satire (12:45): “The reason their kids are so smart is because they've got to wrestle the alphabet every day just to write their own names down.”
• Advising parents (17:49): “Start teaching that daughter some valuable skills. Start dressing her up like, weird fabric… build a kitchen with a lot of vents.”
• Holmberg’s self-deprecation (25:30): “He's doing the high jump and I'm crawling.”
• After many tries (26:15): “Lakshmi Narasimh… I think I got it. Anyway, congratulations kid. You're one of Arizona's finest.”
• On white parenting and simple names (22:16): “My name's John. My parents made it easy for me, and I'm not bright.”

Recurring Gags/Memes

• The ever-lowering prize for name pronouncement (“Try it again for $30... $100... $80... I'll owe you by the time this is done.” — 12:24–12:41)
• Equating Gilbert "bruh" culture with mediocrity.
• Name as destiny: “If your name is the hardest thing you do all day, everything else seems easy.” (24:11–24:38)

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Section-by-Section Timestamps

• Local Sports Rant & Mercury Tattoo Bet: 01:40–07:17
• Dumb Kids / Parenting Riff: 09:59–10:22
• Introducing Akshay & His Scientific Genius: 10:24–13:02
• The Name Pronunciation Challenge: 13:02–14:39
• Indian Names and Cultural Commentary: 15:12–18:48
• Advice on Dating the Smart Kids: 17:49–18:48
• Pronunciation Games & Google Playbacks: 22:31–26:12
• Concluding Jokes & Self-Deprecation: 25:30–end

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Final Thoughts

This episode is classic HMS: sarcastic, self-effacing, and unfiltered. The hosts use the story of Akshay—Arizona’s young science prodigy—as a lens to poke fun at local culture, parenting trends, and their own mental limitations, all while deftly balancing cutting comedy with genuine admiration. The running gag about Indian names makes for some of the episode’s funniest and most memorable moments, and the team’s attempts to say “Lakshminarasimhan” are a high point for regular listeners.

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Transcript

[A]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[B]

All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. For the complete lineups and for tickets.

[A]

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[B]

I sure do.

[C]

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[C]

We can do it to nearly any firearm. Doesn't matter where you live, you can ship it to us or. We already have completed firearms in inventory daily with. No wait.

[A]

Well, there you have it. MMP Guns on the northeast corner of 12th street and Indian School or online at mmpgunscustoms.com.

[B]

You'Ve been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil.

[A]

Sitting right here.

[B]

Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. Not ev. That's the nin. They're coming back again. I. Brett, you just saw them and they just announced that they will be back in town here in March, is that right?

[A]

I believe so.

[B]

March 6 at Desert Diamond Arena. You saw them downtown?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So they're going to go out to the West Valley now, I guess.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

Why? Doesn't seem like it.

[A]

Why would you go out there?

[B]

Well, you saw him downtown. You're good. That arena is awesome for concerts. Desert Diamond.

[A]

Yeah, I know, but I mean I'll be out there this week because that's breaking Benjamin 3 Grace are going to be out there.

[B]

Is that what that is?

[A]

Yeah, so I'll be out there for that.

[B]

But there's some stuff.

[A]

Nine Inch Nails was just here. I don't need to, you know.

[B]

Yeah, two weeks ago. Yeah, it seems like they're pulling a seven dust on us here in seven or eight months between shows. It's supposed to be a great show. I missed the first one, so I might go to that. By the way, as much as we've given for a Mercury attention this year and I've got a lot of emails because I've. I've Placed the bet that I would get a tattoo if they won the finals. And that was before this weekend, where they crapped out two losses, and now the mercury are down.02. And I this morning made the proclamation that I will not only get a tattoo, it will be on the crown of my head. A Mercury tattoo right on top of my head. If they win four of the next five games, which won't happen, Bert, I guess four of the next. What would it be? Yeah, four of the next five.

[A]

Oh, four Red Sox.

[B]

No, it can't happen. It just can't. Women aren't that consistent. It can't be done. There'll be some fighting. They're down. Oh, two. They're already kind of mad at each other. And then once the wheels start to get a little shaky in game three, it's going to go. And the aces are flying high. They're beating up other chicks, and they're beating. It's. This is a five games max. Okay, I'm about to make another one.

[A]

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[B]

I'm about to go again. Stop me before I go again, because I'm about to predict something. Oh, I better be quiet. I don't know. I better be quiet.

[D]

Go ahead.

[A]

Come on.

[B]

Let's, you know, turn into Chris Collinsworth.

[E]

I don't know, Mike. I don't know.

[B]

Ah, I'm trying. I'm trying to think of a five. I say it'd be over in five games, then I get the tag. But I'm just going to keep it where it is.

[A]

Yeah, don't.

[B]

I'm not going to move around. I'm not going to get that. But as much as we do for the Mercury and telling people about that being in Mercury, you. You people should be. Yeah, you people should be giving us money. We are the only place covering your finals. Not. Not like that. We. But we're the only place talking about the stupid Mercury finals. Only ones that have made it interesting to the general public, to the masses, to the 99% that don't care about your sport. I'm making it fun. They're going to watch some of the game or at least pay attention to the end result. Did somebody just crash into the building? What was that? I don't know if anybody heard that on the air, but I think somebody just ran into our building. It happens. But I am. Yeah, I am talking to the 99% that don't care. They're going to pay attention to the end results because of the tattoo. I'm willing to Put on my head if a silly little thing goes to chance.

[A]

What are you trying to do? I mean, you're, you're, you're grandstanding on this. You want, you want a suite or do you want like floor seats or something for this?

[B]

I want them to just say.

[A]

I just want to acknowledge.

[B]

I want them to go, thanks, John, for giving the WNBA all that attention. I need them to acknowledge that I am, I am the spokesperson. I am this. I am the mouthpiece of the WNBA in this city. Nobody else is talking about it.

[A]

You're proud of this. What is wrong with you?

[B]

Well, as much as we do for them, we also need to get Dr. Lynn and we need to have a giant vasectomy party for all the people we've pushed to get vasectomies because another one comes in and says, ready to go. Time for mine. How do I find this Dr. Lynn? Lynn or Lynn? He spelled it a bunch of different ways. Sun, sunrise, urology. Go get it clipped up. So. And do it. Just a glorious thing to do to your body. And Dr. Lynn is like, oh, I.

[E]

Get so many people from kopd.

[B]

Like, yeah, you do. You're welcome.

[A]

Speaking of kickbacks, we didn't get any.

[B]

No, we're our kickback price. We've had you for five years. I've got no kickbacks. Not one cigarette truck has shown up with extra for me. And then all the other emails. Man, oh man, a Cardinal fans losing their minds. Blame him, says John. That's it. I can't support this team anymore. That game absolutely broke me. Biggest display of garbage football I've ever seen. A complete lack of fundamentals. I've tried to be a fan since they got here. Today's disgrace was the last straw for me. It's the worst half of football I have ever seen. I have to switch teams. I can't root for laundry anymore. When there's no heart in it that the players are wearing the laundry, why do I care? I'm disgusted. It's true. Eric's right. Donovan said my 7 year old was watching the game, saw the score at the beginning of the fourth quarter and said, oh, they're going to win this definitely. And I had to explain to her, never underestimate the Cardinals ability to lose. And man, did they find ways. Dude, on the two yard line, about to march it in in the fourth quarter. 28 to 6. Is that right? Yeah. 28 to 6 and just drops the ball, starts to celebrate.

[A]

So glad I didn't watch that game.

[E]

Titans pick it up.

[B]

Go 80 yards. Touchdown. Get the ball back, throw an interception. Dude gets the ball punched out of his hand, goes into the end zone. Another touch. And it wasn't bad luck. It was just bad play. So true. Nate says, John, I wouldn't have known the finals were even happening if it wasn't for you. You are the only one covering it. Nice work. You gave me mercury poisoning. That's what I liked.

[A]

A mercury mouthpiece of the Phoenix Mercury.

[B]

John Holmberg, I am the spokesperson for your. You want to know Mercury basketball, come to me. I'll tell you all about it. And I'll be honest, it's terrible. But I watch, so you don't have to. You know what I am, Brett? I'm Jesus Christ of the wnba. That's right. I am the Lord and savior. I am taking on all the sins of that league so you don't have to. I am Lord Christ of girl basketball. I can fix it.

[A]

I can fix it.

[B]

I can fix it.

[A]

How can you fix this product?

[B]

I can fix girls basketball.

[A]

How can you fix this product?

[B]

3 on 3, shorter court, lower the rims. It's fixed. And shut up. Also, don't interview him after games. Like, don't make that a normal thing.

[A]

That could be said about Lamar Jackson, too.

[B]

Oh, absolutely. It's not. Look, that's not universal. Just wnba. But right away, you're not making it. You don't have it. There's a couple of girls that should always talk on behalf of the whole team. You shouldn't want all them talking. There's a lot of them wrecking it. The guy who lives in Vegas who has to do security for the WNBA says, I forgot to mention you guys. We did have a security briefing on what to do if green dildos were thrown on the court. Security had a special towel to throw over the dildo, and everyone was told not to kick it off the court. I had trouble keeping a straight face in that meeting. Yeah, that's a tough one to sit through.

[A]

So everybody's like a ref. They got their towels in their pockets and stuff. Oh, come on.

[B]

And this one says, taylor Swift is going to get a BBL dancer or she's going to get a BBL in the next year for herself. Or so he's calling it now. He thinks she's going to get a Brazilian butt lift. I don't see Taylor altering her body for Travis.

[A]

I don't think so. She. She don't need to.

[B]

You know what I would see, though? Travis getting a bbl. If Taylor told him to, Travis would.

[A]

Do whatever she told him.

[B]

That's what I'm thinking. Yeah, I'm definitely thinking that. I've gotten a few people asking me about this, too. Said, are you hosting a Night of the Singing Dead this year? How do I get tickets? I've been checking Copper Blue's website. They're not for sale yet. It is happening October 31st at the Desert Ridge. She said, I love coming to this show every year. Best regards, Leanne. Don't worry, Leanne. We're doing it again October 31st. It's actually on Halloween this year. Big Halloween party at Desert Ridge. We'll get on that. And I'm excited for that. Brett, are you ready to try something? I think I have a game. Can Brett do it? This isn't about laughing. I'm gonna. Right now. I'm gonna. This is not a contest. Bob's up in Chicago and Minnesota. Calm the. Calm the down Knob radio executives. I'm making a bet with Brett on the air.

[A]

Can we do that?

[B]

I don't care. $1,000. Brett. $1,000. Let me get to this beforehand. All right, 1,000 bucks. If, when I give you the paper, you read the word circled perfectly, circle without laughing, it's easy. Okay. Without. Not circle, the word circled. Oh, okay. I can say circle. First off, everyone knows this already. All your kids are stupid.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

All of them are stupid. You all think you've got a special one, and you don't. They're all kind of dumb. You have to make sure they don't walk over into traffic. They're all stupid. Unless. Well, let me just put it this way. All you Gilbert parents, all you white parents have. You've got nothing but dumb kids. There aren't any smart ones.

[A]

You mean the Talons aren't.

[B]

Talons aren't smart. Hannah's aren't smart.

[A]

Braden Cadence.

[B]

Braden Cadence. They have special skills, but they're not smart. And I'll say this, and I can back it up, because here in. Here in Arizona, we should be celebrating one of our own. He's 13 years old. He's 13 years old, and he is being acknowledged as a top student, named one of the top 300 junior innovators nationwide. And you know what he's into? He did a project that was called Exploring the interplay between Earth's magnetic field, solar activity, climate variability, and human settlements. He's 13. And then you asked him like, hey, what'd you find? He goes, what did I conclude? And I'll do it like he did.

[E]

What did I conclude? Well, first, solar activity shows more pronounced correlation with El Nino La Nina activity, specifically with El Nino events following solar maxima, typically by a year or so. My second conclusion is that geomagnetic field variations actually impact and affect our upper atmospheric wind patterns.

[B]

Now look at your 13 year old kid. And if he doesn't start the next sentence with bruh, take me to Chick Fil A. You're. You've raised idiots. Now I have to get the music together for this one. Brett. For $1,000.

[A]

Oh, man.

[B]

Without laughing, stumbling, or screwing up at all, say this young man's name. Good luck, Brad.

[A]

Hang on.

[B]

Now go.

[A]

As Shay.

[B]

Like it's over. He didn't make it.

[E]

He didn't make it.

[A]

Akshay Laxi. That's not a word.

[B]

It's a word already.

[A]

It is not a word.

[B]

Try again for $30. It's dropping every time. $100 right now. Go.

[A]

I'll owe you by the time this is done.

[B]

I'll give you $100. Try it again. Go.

[A]

Akshay. Lakshmi.

[E]

That's.

[B]

That's. Akshay. Do.

[A]

Akshay. That's right. Okay. Lakshmira.

[B]

$80.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

This is.

[A]

That's not a word.

[B]

Indians enough. That's not a word. The reason their kids are so smart is because they've got to wrestle the Alphabet every day just to write their own names down.

[A]

How do you spell it then?

[B]

How do I spell the headset? How can I spell it? Akshay. Lash. Mina. Ra. Simahan. That's pretty good.

[A]

That's sealant.

[B]

No way. Lockshaw.

[A]

Ceiling tiles.

[B]

Locks. Locks. Lakshmiraziman.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

Lockshm. Shm should never be together like that. Kshm. That's just. That's alphabets. I'm eating soup.

[A]

Yeah, somebody's just throwing them in there. Come on.

[B]

Akshay. Lakshmi. That's pretty good.

[A]

Sure. Did you say something?

[B]

That was pretty good. Morning sickness Medicate.

[F]

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[A]

Byron, why should someone choose to go to MMP Guns?

[C]

The choice is simple, Brett. M and P Guns is your one stop shop for all your shooting needs. We offer Arizona's largest selection handguns, rifles, shotguns, new and pre owned. We also have a large selection of ammunition, accessories and even training. In fact, right now, all pre owned firearms are 20% off. All new firearms are 10% off. We have Ammo Inc. Millimeter hollow points for only $12.99 a box and much more.

[A]

Well, it sounds like M and P Guns is committed to providing the customers with the best possible service and selection.

[C]

That's a fact. You can visit us at the store at the northeast corner of 12th Street Indian School or online at M&P Guns.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

[B]

But yeah, come on. Indians. Enough. The reason their kids are so goddamn smart is because they gotta wake up and learn that. Yeah, I was five before I could spell John with any sort of reasonable, you know, consistency with the letters.

[A]

All going the right way.

[B]

Oh, sometimes, yeah. Prior to that, the H was a crapshoot upside down. It could be backwards, but Akshay had to fight all the letters in the Alphabet. One, two.

[A]

Yeah. How many are there?

[B]

23. He's three shy of the whole Alphabet being his name.

[A]

And I think they used every letter in there.

[B]

All but Z. No, there's a lot of A's, right? Like this thing. 23 letters. And that's before you get to his middle name. Akshay Lakshmiras. And plus. And that's why he's like, interested in exploring the interplay between Earth's magnetic field, solar activity, climate variability, and human settlements.

[A]

But if that don't work out, he'd be captain from Discover Car.

[B]

We all know how it ends. He's either going to be your doctor or he's going to chase you down for your Discover payment.

[A]

Hello, my friend.

[E]

I do want to explore the interplay between you paying and not paying bills.

[B]

Akshay, excellent work. And to all your dumb kids. I was. I was. I don't know if I told this on air, but I told you guys. I was in the car with Jen the other day going to a work function. She's got two daughters and a son. And admittedly, she knows her son isn't. He's not that bright. He just looks like a lunkhead. You know, he's gonna be a monster. He's gonna be a millionaire. Because he's. Yeah, he's just one of those. But the daughters are, you know, normal. And the one called up while we're in the car because we had to go to a work event. She was driving. And the daughter called up and said, where is everybody? She was home and no one was home. And she goes, oh, your dad went out to get food. And then. So while she said your dad went out to get food, the kid just goes, I'll have a grilled chicken sandwich. Like, she started to order. And she goes, first off, not your dad. Second, not an ordering thing. Like, call him. And then the daughter just went, bro. Oh, like she called you bro. She goes. That's all she calls me. Keep in mind, I bet you Akshay Lakshmirena, Hana Mesimahan never called his parents bro. He's too busy trying to figure out geomagnetic fields and stuff. I don't even know what this is.

[A]

I'm sorry, my friend.

[B]

Bro.

[E]

I was actually reading a couple of different views on the news on how the north Magnetic North Pole is actually shifting from Canada all the way to Siberia, and that's at an unpredictable pace.

[B]

So is his.

[E]

Intrigued me?

[B]

He's 13. If you've got a daughter right now, 12, 13 years old, start encouraging her to nail the Indian kids because they're all going to be doctors and they're all going to be wealthy scientists. Do not bang a Talon, a Hayden, a Caden, any of them, because they're not going to amount to anything.

[A]

So teach her to cook with curry then.

[B]

Is that what you're saying? Yes, start that. Yes, exactly, Brad. Excellent point. Start teaching that daughter here some valuable skills. Start dressing her up in, like, weird fabric curses, curtains. And make her look like a paisley couch broke. Yeah, or like she, you know, she got lost and all her clothes were stolen, so she found the first thing she could find and wrapped herself in it. And then build. Build a kitchen with a lot of vents.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Gotta have a lot of vents or your whole house is gonna smell like stew. And teach that girl how to cook properly.

[A]

Actually, Just call Pro Shade and build an outside kitchen.

[B]

That's a good idea. Yeah. No, there it is.

[A]

Do yourself a favor.

[B]

So then when Akshay and his family come over to approve whether or not your daughter is part of this arrangement, because that's how they work it.

[E]

And Akshaya found the girl of my dreams. And she has really made me very excited to explore interplay between Earth's magnetic field, solar activity and my boner.

[B]

This kid is 13. There's nobody. There's no. Come on.

[A]

I'm in my 50s and I can't even spell his name.

[B]

This is that alone. By the way, the first time I've ever heard the phrase Solar maxima, he a 13 year old taught me what that was. It's the height of the Sun's 11 year cycle, whatever that means. I don't know what any of that means, but this kid's amazing and the people who keep. He needs a nickname like Loxy or something like that. Because this every time you go to another part of the article. Sorry Brett, your game's over. I gotta turn the music off. I forgot. Lakshmirana Semahan said being chosen one of 300 innovators, the United States allowed him to meet other like minded kids with whom he could work in the future. And then he said, quote, it feels.

[E]

Really nice because one, I get to be part of a greater scientific alumni network. 13, I get a bunch of different friends that I can collaborate on future, potentially do different group projects with these different friends. It opens up so many different opportunities for me in the future.

[B]

Except getting laid. Loxy, we gotta get you off this a little bit. Indian parents, break it down a little. When you see your kids working too much on the. On the magnetic fields of the planet.

[E]

What do you say we go to a strip club? What you're talking about father? I'm very busy working on the interplay between Earth's magnetic field. No, no, no, no, no. We need to go out and see some. That's what we need.

[B]

Let him be.

[A]

This lady just wrote in. My son's name is Hunter. I'm not a Gilbert mom, but he's going to be a nuclear engineer.

[B]

Is he? Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Does he call you bro? I bet he does. Hunters all call people bruh. Bruh. Has he ever hung up the phone with you and said six seven, six seven bruh bruh.

[A]

Jeff just said you guys did a whole lot better with that name than Jim and Ladonna did this morning?

[B]

Did they try to. Well, they're not real news people. Like we are. I have no clue, man. Lakshminarasiman. But that's how everyone says your name.

[E]

And then he has to go, no, no, it's lax. You have to say.

[B]

No. Well, you got to mix it up here. Indians and you know I'm talking. Not the guardian ones. The. The dots. Stop naming our kid crazy.

[A]

Oh, Kevin.

[B]

Yeah. At least the Vietnamese and the Koreans and the people that came over all called themselves Chris when they got here. And all the people at Discover Cart are decent enough to call themselves Kevin.

[A]

Sounds like you're trying to read an R word. Pokemon's name.

[B]

He know R word. Man. He is already smarter than all of us listening. And Hunter the Gilbert nuclear physicist is going to be working for Akshmir, Akshay, Lakashemihan, or Hamasahan. Come on. That's why they're so smart. So start naming your kids, like, 17 letter first names. Let them wrestle with that Alphabet, and their brains will work real hard as babies. My name's John. My parents made it easy for me, and I'm not bright.

[A]

They knew better.

[B]

There's a reason you're Brett.

[A]

Yeah. Four letters.

[B]

The only thing they did for Brady was they named him David and called him Brady because David was too hard. Any.

[A]

This guy. Oh, Frenchie said we should put that name in Google and see if I can pronounce it.

[B]

Go ahead.

[A]

All right, give me a little thing. There's no way I'm gonna attempt to spell it.

[B]

What will Google say? Can you do that? You can just type it in and have it verbally say the thing.

[A]

Give me a second.

[B]

I bet you Google's gonna be like, akshmay. Ah. What the is this? Yeah, it's nuts. You have too many letters in your name. But, I mean, I don't. Like, look at your 13 year old today and just give it a whack. Indian kids running right past him. I don't think I've ever met a dumb Indian kid. I haven't met a lot of them, but I don't think I've ever met a dumb one. And the ones that they consider dumb are, like, lawyers. Like, they didn't make it to doctor. They just almost got to something. He's not a surgeon. He's a medical technician.

[E]

It's like, oh, he's such an embarrassment to the whole family. I wish you'd have just done drugs.

[B]

But it's. It's gonna do it.

[A]

I'm trying to figure it out here.

[B]

I don't know how to say it. I don't Know how the computer's gonna do. I don't know how to type that in. Anyway, if you've got an Indian or if you're gonna adopt those people that are adopting.

[E]

Why would you adopt a white one?

[B]

Get one of those Indian ones. It's. It shows up with brains. And don't change its name. Like, if your last name is Taylor or something, don't. Don't change its name to SK Got. We've already got one of those.

[A]

Well, there's. It has 24 pronunciations, apparently, but here's one of them.

[B]

All right, here we go.

[F]

Lakshmi Narasimh.

[B]

What?

[A]

Yeah, here's another one.

[B]

Lakshmi Narasimh.

[A]

Okay, I was pretty close.

[F]

Lakshmi Narasimh.

[B]

Lakshmi Marisanim.

[F]

Lakshmi Narasimh.

[B]

Genius is what that means in whatever language he speaks. Just English, but he's American. But the name is automatically going to get dismissed. That cultures of. They raise some smart kids, and there's billions of them. But you wrestle with 26 letters a day. You write your name down and have it take about a minute and tell me you're not going to work a little bit more diligently through all the easy words.

[A]

23 letters in that thing.

[B]

Yeah. When your name's the hardest thing you do all day, everything else seems easy. You're just going to learn faster. Start naming your white kids stuff that takes forever, not Talon and, you know, stupid stuff like that. Don't try to make them cool. Straight out of the box. Wreck them. They should all be. Hit the button again. They should all be named this.

[F]

Lakshmi Narasimh.

[B]

Thomas. That's it. Jefferson. Like all of them should have the first name. Lakshmi Narasimho. I'm hearing it and I can't say it. No Lakshmi Heritage. No, man. What? Lakshmi Nera Simon. Lakshmi Nara. Simon. I think I got it. Anyway, congratulations, kid. You're one of Arizona's finest. And there's 300 others just like him. Thirteen. Brett.

[A]

No, thanks.

[B]

I mean, it's dumb to sit back and go, when I was 13, I'm retarded compared to him now. I'm 53. He's. I got him by 40 years. And this kid is leaps and bounds ahead of me in the smarts department, and I can't even say his name. That's nothing to him. He's doing the high jump, and I'm crawling. Lakshmi Harris.

[F]

Lakshmi Nerasamin.

[B]

Close. I got nothing. I'm too stupid to say a name I just heard. It's like if somebody said, what's your name Brett? No. Brett Burgle. No. Lakshmi Narasimh. Lakshmi Narasimh. I've got it now. Lakshmi Narasimh. And he would correct me.

[E]

No, no, no, no, no. It's Lakshmi Narasimh.

[B]

Lakshmi Narasimh. Lakshmi Narasimh.

[E]

Lakshmi rasiman. I am 13, and I'm already pissing you off because you have the IQ.

[B]

Of our Lakshmi Narasimh.

[E]

You're a very dumb man. Very, very, very dumb man.

[B]

Thanks, Lakshmi Ereziman. And congratulations to the parents, Mr. And Mrs. Lakshmi Narasimh, for raising a brilliant 13, Lakshmi Nerazeman. I look forward to him telling me all about the concierge program at American Express.

[E]

No, no, no, no, no, my friend. You can get so much more from the concierge program at the Platinum Club. Memberships. You can go to the Centurion Lounge.

[B]

Weren't you the kid who, like, tried to fix the earth's axis?

[E]

Oh, yes. Things did not work out for me. People hated saying my name, so they would not hire me.

[B]

Lakshmi Narasimh. Lakshmi Harrisimon. I can do it. You didn't do it. A thousand dollars is waiting on me.

[A]

I know.

[B]

Nice try. Lakshmi Narasimh. They're not wasting their time.

[A]

We gotta save that for Brady.

[B]

Yeah, they're not wasting their time going to homecomings and Dayton broads. Just read. Oh, Brady would. He's already through enough this year. You want him to have an official stroke? We'll put that on. We got what Would Brett do? Oh, no. Coming up in just right. It's 98. It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee.

[E]

I've heard enough of this.

[B]

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[D]

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