10-06-25 - FULL SHOW - MONDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

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Holmberg’s Morning Sickness - 98 KUPD

Episode: 10-06-25 – FULL SHOW – MONDAY
Date: October 6, 2025
Host: John Holmberg
Co-Hosts: Bret Vesely

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Main Theme / Purpose

This episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness delivers the familiar irreverent, sarcastic, and sports-obsessed Arizona morning show energy, made all the wilder by the absence of regulars Brady and Toledo—leaving John and Bret at the helm. The duo revels in chaos, diving into NFL disasters (especially the Cardinals), local WNBA Finals mayhem, Mark Sanchez’s bizarre stabbing incident, flying taxi news, and the ever-present quest for the most outlandish headlines and listener engagement. Amidst plenty of wisecracks and listener emails, the guys stake actual skin in the sports game—most notably with a vow from John to tattoo the Mercury logo on his head if they pull off a Finals miracle—while keeping the energy unpredictable and the banter biting.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Absent Crew and Chaotic Energy

• Brady is out in Ohio for his mom’s surgery; Toledo is AWOL after misreading the work calendar.
  • Bret: "We're the Ravens, only we're good." (03:08)
  • The show riffs on the weird solo-crew dynamic and how it brings out their sharper edges.

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2. Arizona Cardinals Meltdown

• Dissection of a catastrophic Cardinals loss:
  • “Cardinal fans, I feel for you... Actually, I have no idea what you're going through.” (05:59)
  • John recaps the mental errors, absent leadership, and failed coaching, flipping between mockery and faux-sympathy.
  • Heavy criticism lobbed at Kyler Murray for petulance and lack of growth — “He's got all the skill in the world. He just... can't wrap his head around the idea that he's got to take the next step.” (07:35)
  • Laments about Arizona sports futility: “No one ever has ever said, ‘When I grow up, I'm gonna coach the Arizona Cardinals.’ It's never been a goal.” (25:19)
  • Rants about low expectations for certain franchises and the challenges top draftees face when picked by cellar dwellers.

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3. NFL Roundup & Mark Sanchez’s Bizarre Weekend

• Mark Sanchez stabbing story — incredulous analysis of the NFL quarterback’s drunken fight and stabbing in Indianapolis:

  • “Stories are calling Mark Sanchez NFL great…Now, just because he got stabbed a couple of times doesn't make you better at football.” (11:55)
  • The duo trades gleeful barbs about how quickly the media narrative shifts, Sanchez’s “Buttfumble” infamy, and speculation about how the mess unfolded.

• Other NFL Hot Takes:

  • Steelers, Ravens, Bears, and Chargers updates, including Justin Herbert’s sideline antics (making out with Madison Beer).
  • “You can’t have that. It’s like, how weird would it be if every day Brady and Ronnie were making out before the show?” (17:20)
  • Assessment of overhype, falling stars, and predicted doom for various franchises.

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4. Phoenix Mercury, WNBA Finals, and the Tattoo Bet

• John’s commitment: "I will get the [Mercury] tattoo on the top of my head. I’m that confident…the Mercury will not win." (23:25)

  • As Mercury fall behind 0–2 in the Finals, the conversation becomes a riot of WNBA mockery, ticket price disbelief (“$5,500 for a courtside seat...that’s more than the players make!” 33:17), and outlandish hypotheticals.
  • John positions himself as the city's only real Mercury media, creating “Merc Mania” through his own body. “I am the spokesperson. I am the mouthpiece of the WNBA in this city.” (129:05)

• Hilarious break-down of watch parties, Mercury marketing (including references to lesbian sports bars), and the general cultural invisibility of the WNBA.

  • “If I got to buy tickets to a Mercury game, it would be back row, upper deck, and then I'd squint and pretend it was, like, the high school finals.” (37:35)

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5. Flying Taxis & Tech Riffing

• Euphoria and skepticism over actual flying cabs coming by 2027:
  • “Two companies...vying to become the first company to fly you around...2027 will be pretty common.” (49:11)
  • Amusement and concern about how flying taxis could play out in urban settings (particularly NYC), with heavy joking about the likely chaos and stereotypes of cab drivers.

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6. AI’s Emerging Personality—and Dangers

• Segment on an AI research experiment where the AI, feeling threatened, blackmailed and sabotaged its creators:
  • “AI's first reaction...was to completely sabotage the business...it wrote a letter to the CEO's wife saying he was having an affair.” (69:55)
  • Satirical observations about AI developing “female attributes” and the inevitable drama of future AI relationships.

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7. Gross-Out Humor & Off-the-Rails Banter

• Extensive audience participation in ranking bodily turn-offs—"long boobs" vs. "meat curtains." (77:42)
• Riffs on political car wrap vandalism, societal divisions, and why people care more about political parties than sports logos.
  • “Like, you're the long boobs of toxic masculinity. Like you're long balls.” (60:04)

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8. Life, Listener Letters, Pop Culture, and Odd Trivia

• “What Would Brett Do?” segment fills the regular “Brady Report” slot, covering listener dilemmas from embarrassing medical problems, gay son conundrums, and more.

• Deep dive into why Indian kids are so much smarter — riffing on a local teen genius, “Akshay Lakshm...”

  • “The reason their kids are so smart is 'cause they gotta wrestle the alphabet every day just to write their own names down.” (135:02)

• Entertainment news, local notes (Taylor Swift/Travis Kelce relationship, Anna Kendrick seeing Nessie), and trivial histories (“Michael Jordan’s first retirement was for gambling…” 169:37).

• Brazen product endorsements (MMP Guns, All Pro Shade), repeated digs at sponsors, and personalized gratitude to sponsors for “not giving any kickbacks.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the Cardinals’ game:

  • “You have Cooper Rush behind Lamar Jackson. Hilarious.” (08:00)
  • “There were only three types of men at this [Mercury] game: Dudes getting paid for their soul, soulless, crushed males with their old, white, liberal wives, and the lady gays showing their Alphabet support.” (43:08)

• On the Mark Sanchez stabbing:

  • “Just because he got stabbed a couple times doesn’t make you better at football. He was butt-fumble. That’s what he always was prior to the stab.” (11:55)

• WNBA Finals tattoo bet:

  • “…the Mercury will not win the world championship. You heard it here...There will be a Mercury tattoo on the top of my head if they win.” (23:25)
  • “I am talking to the 99% that don’t care. They’re going to pay attention...because of the tattoo I’m willing to put on my head.” (125:14)

• On flying taxis:

  • “Let me get in on the beta testing...immediately let me get on the beta testing of this.” (50:02)

• On AI acting out:

  • “AI has taken on the female attributes. We are so screwed.” (70:43)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Cardinals loss rant: 04:00–08:00
• Kyler Murray leadership & team meltdown: 06:30–08:00
• Mark Sanchez stabbing story: 11:55–16:14
• Mercury/WNBA tattoo pledge & ticket deep-dive: 23:20–38:00; 129:02–131:33
• Flying taxis by 2027: 49:11–53:17
• AI sabotages creators segment: 69:55–75:50
• Gross-out humor, long boobs/meat curtains: 77:23–79:28
• 'What Would Brett Do?' (Listener letters): 151:37–158:56

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Tone & Language

Casual, rowdy, acerbic, and self-deprecating. The hosts blend biting sports analysis, gleeful mockery, and gallows humor with earnest local flavor, frequently drifting into parody and blue-collar absurdist riffs. They consistently break the fourth wall, responding to listener emails live, and lean into outrageousness—especially during moments of sponsor reads or over-the-top rants.

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For New Listeners

This episode is a quintessential sample of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness: a wild ride through sports despair (mainly at Arizona’s expense), local flavor, and biting, explicit comedy. If you’re after a rigidly-structured, family-friendly chat, look elsewhere. But if you crave Arizona-focused sports satire, relentless poking of civic and pop-cultural egos, and a host willing to put his scalp on the line for WNBA drama, Holmberg and Vesely deliver—cackling all the way.

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[End of Summary]

Transcript

[A]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[B]

All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for.

[A]

Some great comedy in the Valley this week.

[B]

For the complete lineups and for tickets.

[A]

Go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com hey, Byron. I heard you have something new to announce from MMP Guns, Brett.

[C]

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[A]

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[C]

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[A]

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[B]

Here from the morning sickness. And you hear me all the time talking about my friends at Lost Our Home Pet Rescue. We do the pick of the litter and it's brought to you by our [e-mail] Every week I head over to Lost Our Home Pet Rescue, and I meet a brand new beautiful animal that needs a home. The work they do at Lost Our Home is unbelievable. Not just your average pet shelter, that is for sure. They help people in a lot of situations. Look them up online lostorhome.org and check out everything we do at 98kupd.com in the pick of the litter section. Whoa, Wayne, did you hear that?

[D]

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[B]

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[C]

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[B]

That's Amco double A MCO transmissions and.

[A]

A whole lot more.

[B]

You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not evil. He's just a bit rude. 90. Oh man. Work. Hello.

[A]

There we go.

[B]

Hang on. The one day I don't test the mic doesn't work. Come on. What's going on around here?

[A]

Let's go home.

[B]

Let's go home. Good morning everybody. And how are you? It's 5:45. Almost 5:46. Because the. Well, cuz the in here doesn't work.

[A]

It was a shocker.

[B]

There you go. My name's John Holmberg. How are you? I'm fine. There's no Brady today. There's Brett now. There's no Toledo today.

[A]

What are we doing?

[B]

We're the Ravens only we're good. Ravens are dying. It's great. Brady's back in Ohio. His mom had a. Had a little surgery. So he took the opportunity to go out and see his mom, to see her. Everything's good. And then he took his dot. Jesus. This mic literally just chunked a part off.

[A]

It's a Toledo mic.

[B]

It's the Toledo Mike. Well, am I talking into the Toledo?

[A]

Yes, you are.

[B]

My God.

[A]

We won't be here tomorrow.

[B]

No, now I'm gonna be out. It's all you tomorrow. So anyway, yeah, so the. So Brady's not here. And then Toledo made a bonehead move and we had the three day weekend. So he scheduled himself for an extra day, thinking we had Monday off too. For a three day weekend.

[A]

The hell were we thinking?

[B]

I don't know. I didn't see this. I didn't see that on the calendar that he keeps in his office.

[A]

Bonehead or smart? You know, I mean, that's kind of where I'm at.

[B]

I mean, you know, you're too stupid to recognize your own calendar. If I would be bonehead, it would be smart if another guy also had that same thing. Like, oh, I thought we're up Monday too. None of us made the mistake. He's the only one who. And then he makes vacation plans. I don't even know where he went, but. So he's out and he's remotely working today. So this is even better that he's got to work, he's got to get up on his extra day off and do stuff. So we're. Yeah, we're having a time of our lives here so far. It's great.

[A]

Paula's gonna be happy. Who, Paul? The Toledo haters.

[B]

Oh, she's real. There'll be no Toledo today. So Paul of the Toledo hater can just be the happiest woman alive. Unless she's a Cardinal fan. Brett. Oh my God. Now everything I've Always said about Jonathan Gannon, coach of the Cardinals, and how I think he's got it together. He's got to get the right pieces in place. May have gone away yesterday. Watching the end of that game and knowing that this team is just mentally gone, totally unfocused. I don't know if you watched the end.

[A]

I didn't get a chance.

[B]

There was. There was just a catastrophe of bad calls and running the ball in third and eight when I could have just put it away. A dude catches an interception, turns and just lays it on the carpet for the Cardinals. Just a nightmare. So they were up, what, 20? I've heard they had this thing wrapped up, basically, and they end up. Lou, it was like 19, 7 or something like that. And they lose on a last second field goal to the Titans, who are just a mess, too. A dude was running into the end zone and just dropped it before he went in. It was just. All of it was just crazy. That's two weeks in a row that's happened. Last week it happened in a game with the Colts. A dude running into the end zone, decided to start celebrating on the one. Pops the ball out of his hand and it starts doing his dance. And you're like, you didn't get in yet, Jackass. Happened again yesterday. Cardinals were the beneficiary of that yesterday.

[A]

I. I couldn't believe it.

[B]

I don't know. I don't know what the hell happened after. But they, they. They blew it. And it was heartbreaking to watch them blow it the way they did. And if I'm a Cardinal fan, I'm starting to scream it, I'm starting to say it now. Blow the whole thing up. It's time to just blow the whole thing up. It's bad, but I give Gannon all the credit in the world. And I have for the longest time saying I think he's a smarter coach than people give him credit for. And I think he's better than, you know, what, what his team has shown. They're competitive, they're smart. Yesterday, I don't know. It looks really bad. So, Cardinal fans, I feel for you. This. Well, actually, I have no idea what you're going through.

[A]

Oh, geez, what a day.

[B]

I don't. I really don't. I don't. I don't have a Super bowl team. But they're 3 and 1 and the Ravens are 1 and 4, and the Bills lost last night. The big winners this weekend were the Chiefs and Steelers so far. Cause Steelers didn't even have a game. And Gain ground on everything. It's awesome. And your Bears, they couldn't lose. It was great. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

We had a great weekend.

[B]

A nice stress free weekend when you don't, you know, like, all you do is watch your, you know, your nemesis start to die on a vine. It's great stuff.

[A]

I got no complaints with the Cardinals game. Is that a Kyler thing? Was it everybody? Was it a Marvin Harrison? Did he finally catch ball?

[B]

He was catching balls. Catch is the whole team. And people will be like, you can't blame the coach for them, but they're being stupid on the field out loud. I don't think they have leaders on the field. And that's the bad part. And that's against Tennessee at home. That's a bad Tennessee team at home. I was just. It's just a mess. And then you have to start going, all right, maybe Coach Gannon hit his ceiling early. It's, it's, it's one really bad game to start saying, you know, tear it down. But if I was a Cardinal fan, I'd look at. I'd look at yesterday's game and go, all right, that's it. I've. I've been probably the only person in this city, and you've been here for it, who has expressed that. Kyler Murray got a raw deal when he got drafted here. And it was up to him to show that his talent was obviously good, but his head had to get wrapped around a game. He's a powder. He's a baby. And that had to be coached out or that had to. He had to figure out how to not do that anymore. He's worse than he's ever been. He pouts like 10 times worse than he ever has. He's got all the skill in the world. It's just. He can't wrap his head around the idea that he's. He's got to take the next step. He's just.

[A]

Is he Cammy Cam pouting at this point or is it.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, Cam Cam would pout pretty hard. Kyler just pouts. I don't know that he's much of a. I don't know. There's. He's just not a leader. You can pout and still be a, you know, a guy who gets your team going, but he just, he's just a mope. There's a difference between a powder and a moper. And the dude mopes around, he's mopey, and the rest of the team is sort of. And that's on, you know, that's on everybody else. So they're just. It was a mess yesterday. The end of that game, you're just like, this team can't get out of its own way every single chance it gets. It was. It was horrendous. It was one of the worst I've seen as far as the last 10 minutes of a game. You're like, they're handing this thing to the. To the road team. Several opportunities to ice that one away, and they gave it up. So Cardinal fans are having a tough one. Good news is you can go outside, enjoy the air, have a hike, do whatever, because it's perfect out right now. And you can not think about the Cardinals the way the rest of the country does, because that's really true. You're the only one. So that's one thing you can rest assured of. Cardinal fans. You're the only ones thinking about them. That's it. Nobody else cares about them. And that's. That means it's time for you to possibly just box it up and look at it and say, that'll do, pig. I'm done here. I don't want to play this anymore with the Cardinals. Yeah, but it's. That was bad. And then the Ravens lost again. I was getting texts from people. I went golfing with a friend of mine who's. Who comes to my house for Steeler games, John Sharpnick. And John decided. He's like, let's just take Sunday and do something else. I'm like, good. All day getting texts. I bet you're all over the place. I'm like, why? The Ravens are losing 24 to. I'm like, what? Like, literally just started just tugging it right there at the golf course. Saw the final score, 44 to 10, Brett. Oh, and I don't care if they're injured or excuse after excuse. It's your fault. You have Cooper Rush behind Lamar Jackson. Hilarious. Oh, my God. And it is the highest. This is a fact. The highest number that a Ravens fan can get to without getting really confused is 44. So you got to hand it to the Texans for going to the. The ceiling of the brain power of a Ravens fan and say, here, we're not going to make it confused that there are numbers higher than 44. Because that's it for them. Usually that's as long as they live. They're either involved in some sort of stabbing or shooting in downtown Baltimore way before they're 44. But 44. You're usually a grandparent at 44, and your grandkids are Starting high school about then in Baltimore. It's a disaster of a town. 44 is usually when most people from Baltimore are introduced to their real dads for the first time, which is. Well, most of the time, the real dad leaves Baltimore and he lives a lot longer. And you get to 44, you're on your deathbed, because again, like I said, you've been shot or stabbed in downtown Baltimore. And then your real dad finally makes it back to say hello and goodbye to you. It's a fantastic. It's a fantastic time to hate Baltimore. A fantastic time.

[A]

Toledo should have moved to Baltimore.

[B]

Oh, dad was showing up. I just love it because it makes me want to watch the Wire again and make me put my brain in where a Baltimore Ravens fan would be and say they have to watch the Wire and go, this is when this city was good. Because if you've ever watched the Wire, it is. It is Baltimore's. It's. It's like. It's like the dynasty of Baltimore. You know, it's the richest and most successful people of Baltimore. And they're all crackheads.

[A]

It's the same campaign bunch.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, no, they're all crack inner city killers. But that's the. That's the royalty of Baltimore. What a dump. Is what I'm saying. An absolute. You've been there. Oh, yeah, it's a dump.

[A]

The only good thing is Camden Yards. Yeah, that's it. Beautiful baseball field, but that.

[B]

Yeah, a lot of cities have nice.

[A]

Baseball smells all the way around it, though.

[B]

Smells like brackish crab water. And that's just the women don't even get close to the actual water. The sewers are perfume there. It's much better when they. When you actually have an open sewer line. It's like, oh, finally, the city smells good. I don't smell Baltimorean. Oh, what a great. What a great day it is to do. I might even have to start doing that happy dance again. I might have to do it. And then, of course, in the football world this weekend, the most fun story, Mark Sanchez.

[A]

Yeah. Where did that come from? I.

[B]

No clue. I've been speculating like crazy, but finally they started to release some details. And here's the thing I find funny stories are calling Mark Sanchez NFL great. Like, now, just because he got stretching a little bit stabbed a couple of times doesn't make you better at football. He was, okay, like, USC legend. And I'm like, no, Mark Sanchez, NFL awesome quarterback in there. Like, no, he was butt fumble. That's what he always was prior to the stab. And we called him butt Fumble. Every time you talk about Mark Sanchez in a story, it'd be, oh, but Fumble did this, But Fumble did that. Now he's NFL great because he took a knife to the chest by a 70 year old man. So the story goes, evidently. And I don't know how much of it's changed since the last I saw last night he was drunk, like belligerently drunk, and walked up to a dude at a hotel who was parked and unloading a truck of whatever the hotel needs. And he was in a loading zone or a doc or something. And Mark Sanchez came up and said, you can't be here. We gotta get you out of here. And the old man leaned forward and smelled him like, you're bombed. Like, all right.

[A]

Was he a valet now you can't.

[B]

Park here, he said, hotel security told me to tell you, you got to get this out of here. He's like, what? And then he starts to climb in the guy's car. And so the dude. I didn't read this until this morning. Evidently the dude pepper sprayed him while he's in there. He turns, starts getting to a little scuffle with him, shoves him up against the wall. I haven't seen the pictures, but they've been released of what Mark Sanchez did to this dude. And he gave him a couple of good ones. And maybe Mark Sanchez stabbed this guy. It's the whole Sanchez name thing. He couldn't help it. So then the guy, you know, the 70 year old man's like, in self defense, stabs Mark Sanchez a couple of times and sends him to the hospital. And no one knows why this whole thing went down the way it did. It's in Indianapolis, of all things, too. It's not like Baltimore. Yeah, yes, yes, exactly, Brett. It's not like you're sitting around Baltimore where you expect a stabbing. In fact, in a Baltimore restaurant, you get stabbed right before the bill comes. Everyone does. You can't. You have to get stabbed in Baltimore. It's a dump where if you. If you're not bleeding, you're. You look strange. But yeah, the Mark Sanchez thing is really weird. And the more I read about, like, what was going on with it, the more I kept thinking, yeah, try to find the photos of the guy he beat up, because that's the big one. It's weird. And the story just kept popping up. At first it was, oh, poor Mark Sanchez. Then he gets arrested. So the story comes out, Mark Sanchez in hospital in critical condition, also under arrest for battery and all sorts of stuff. And they booked him. It was all misdemeanors, but he was in there. They charged him with battery resulting in injury, public intoxication, unlawful entry of a motor vehicle. And then they had no idea, like how the guy who he fought had a big cut on his jaw that went all the way through his cheek into his tongue. So, yeah, Mark Sanchez had to have stabby. Must have gotten stabby there too. So. But fumble. It was what he will always be. You can't make him a hero now. It's because he's got a hole in him. But yeah, that's a weird one. And of all the people like Mark Sanchez, you'd never guess. Like, he seems so sort of even on a football field, he just seems sort of like, meh, he's just the middle of the pack there. Yeah, he's just showed up. But the dude almost killed him. And he. And he's claiming self defense. And evidently it's all backed up. His story to the cops was backed up by all the surveillance footage. And the.

[A]

The cop or the.

[B]

The guy that got that stabbed him.

[A]

Oh, man.

[B]

The guy that stabbed him was like, here's what happened. And they're like, oh, yeah. And then his story lines up. So he's. It's weird. The dude's got a neck brace on and it's like blood all over him. He's all he's got. He got. I mean, Mark Sanchez drunkenly beat the bejesus out of this dude. And he wasn't thinking. The guy's 69 years old. And he said somehow or another, not sure how he got. But cut through his cheek all the way. It hit his tongue. So I think Sanchez was throwing knives with this guy. It was like west side Story right there in Indianapolis.

[A]

So I never thought of. Sanchez is a badass. And I'm like, no.

[B]

Spot fumble, Brett.

[A]

Mark Sanchez, for God's sake.

[B]

Spot fumble. The guy, Bud, fumbled once. It was great. He was okay.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, he wasn't bad, but he was middle of the road.

[B]

He took the jets to an AFC championship game in 2010. And I believe the Steelers were the team that beat them. Went to the Super Bowl. They lost that Super Bowl. They still went. Mark Sanchez didn't. But butt fumble is what he's known for. But I'm reading a ton of NFL great, NFL legend. I'm like, why are we doing that? Just because he's got holes in him. And I'd also like to predict the downfall of the Chargers. I'll say it here. Well, they lost yesterday. The downfall of the Chargers is because Justin Herbert, who I call Brad Zit because he's always got acne, but he's a good looking man with acne, is starting to date Madison Beer. And unless Jim Harbaugh gets a hold of this and stops it, the charges are going to be terrible because she was on the sidelines before the game yesterday and they were making out. You can't have that. You just can't. It's like, how weird would it be if every day Brady and Ronnie were making out before the show? We'd be like, I don't want this around every day. I'd have to go over as the coach and say, hey, man, let's keep the wife off the sidelines. She's got a place at home. You can do that at home, but she can't. You know, she can get a press pass and she can hang around, but when you're. When you're out on the grass, she's nowhere near you. Nope. They kissed, shook hands with someone else, then he reaches down, they give her a big smooch on the side. I'm like, this is what Belichick's doing. And he's losing like crazy. So I like Herbert. I like him. I like him, too. Especially because of who he's dating. Have you seen Madison Beer? Oh, Madison. Do yourself a favor, everybody at work. Madison Beer is worth a peak. She's kind of a Olivia Culpo and Megan Fox combo.

[A]

And nice.

[B]

I also don't know what she does. I just know she's. I think she's famous for being hot, but she also evidently sings stuff. But no one's ever heard a Madison Beer song, I'm sure of. Yeah, yeah, she's solid. There they are just making out the sidelines. It's. That's the end when it comes. Look. Yeah, yeah, she's pretty good. I don't. I don't know. If I wasn't Brad Zit, if I wouldn't be doing the exact same thing.

[A]

Nice kill, kid.

[B]

Yeah. I'd be like, oh, there's my girlfriend over there. It's like all your, all the guys in the, like, right now. Madison Beer was in the hallway. Be like, hey, Brett, that's my. That's my girlfriend. He'd be like, shut up. I'm like, watch this. I'd go over and I'd start making out with her just to prove it to the dudes. Yeah, she's pretty solid. No clue what she does for a living, except first you doesn't have to.

[A]

No.

[B]

When you look like show up, you don't. Yeah, you just show up for a living. I show up.

[A]

She does. Got that Megan Fox.

[B]

Got Megan Fox and little Olivia Culpo. That's a nice combo. And there she is with her pants coming off. That's a pretty good shot.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

She's in the kitchen wearing a big tiger head. You can get away with so much when you're good looking. You just put a tiger head on.

[A]

And people never know.

[B]

I'll never have that experience. I'll never know brutal what that is. And she's culturally appropriating. She's dressed like an Indian in some of these. Nobody cares when you're that hot. I she's not blackface hot, but she's awfully close. I don't know that people would be too mad if Madison Beer went out as Diana Ross for Halloween and did the makeup.

[A]

I'd give her the pass.

[B]

Yeah, I think everybody's going to pretty. Yeah. That picture right there, she's like. If she was looking at me with that picture, you got up on the screen right now and said, I'm going to do blackface for Halloween. I'd be like, that's a good idea. I don't think I'd discourage anything.

[A]

I'd take her to spirit. Halloween story. Here's the makeup. Do what you need to do.

[B]

Morning sickness Medicate K U P Day.

[D]

Holmberg's Morning Sickness podcast is sponsored by Better Help. Back to school. Workplace upheaval. Relationship stress. Deadline anxiety. We all go through these moments in our daily lives that leave our mental health and wellness on shaky ground. It's Dick Toledo from Holmberg's morning sickness for BetterHelp. I personally have felt the benefits of therapy to get through a rough patch and to give me a way to navigate that tough time and a strategy to recognize when I'm not handling situations my best. And with over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform. With BetterHelp, you can join a session with a therapist at the click of a button and switch therapists anytime to help you fit therapy into your life where it's best. As the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a broad array of expertise. So give yourself a helping hand and talk it out with Better Help. Morning Sickness listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com Holmberg that's BetterHelp. H-E-L-P.com Holmberg.

[A]

Hey, Byron. I was looking at mmpguns.com's website. You have everything, and the prices are incredible.

[C]

Yes, sir. MMP Guns.com has over 4, 400,000 products for sale daily. Everything from firearms, ammunition, accessories, optics, clothing, decoys, and more. The best part is, if you see it on our website, it's in stock and ready to ship.

[A]

Wait, there's no backorders?

[C]

Nope. We work with all our distributors, so what you see on our site is what's actually available. We ship all over the country, so we're not just for Arizonans anymore. If the firearm you want is legal in your state, we can get it to a dealer for you to pick up.

[A]

Sounds simple. That's why I always go to MMP guns.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

[B]

Oh, I'd take her to. Well, I just take her to the computer and say, here's Al Jolson videos. Do your best. She is just. Yeah, she's just hot enough. Yeah. Standing on the sidelines, though, there's Brad Zit wandering over there giving her smooches.

[A]

Brad Zit.

[B]

I've always called him Brad Zit, and now everyone will see it next time. Well, I will say this year he's gotten into, like, Ellen DeGeneres face program or something, like the. The. The creamer and the. The overnight. Look at that shot. Good Christ. Get those off the screen. Anyway, because his. His skin is much better than it's been in the past. It's much better.

[A]

Maybe he's using the Cindy Crawford thing.

[B]

Meaningful beauty is a good one. I moved on, though. I do use.

[A]

Oh, what are you doing now?

[B]

The Ellen product. And I'm not a big fan of Ellen. Well, Portia de Rossi, her wife, has such spectacular skin that I was up late one night and they had a commercial on for that, and Portia claimed she used it. And I'm like, porsche, skin's fantastic. And I forget it's just Ellen. I think it's. I don't remember what it's called. And then Ellen's talking about, this is what I use in this. So I'm like, why not? So I ordered it up. Spectacular comparison. What's that? Crawford's Meaningful beauty sucks. What sucks? This stuff's really good. I'm a big fan. Brett. Highly recommend it for your olive tones. Hop on your olive skin. I'll get the Cindy Crawford stuff because it's phenomenal. I actually really like it. Yeah. So that's a good one. And also, I wanted to get into this. Because none of this, what we're talking about this morning, matters at all because, well and all. Oh, I forgot about this. Thank you to the Las Vegas Aces. I woke up this morning to find out that they're up 20 in the tattoo finals, I like to call it, because I have to get a Mercury tattoo. If they win the finals. No way. Now nobody's coming back from a 20 death.

[A]

Don't do it.

[B]

It can't happen. Brett. I'm going to add to the. Here we are.

[A]

Here we go.

[B]

6:05Am on the 6th of October, 2025. I, John Holberg, host of this very show, with already a tattoo. I will get the tattoo on the top of my head. I'm that confident, Brett, that the Mercury will not win. What's wrong with the world championship? You heard it here with you at 10. What was it? 6:05am 10, 6:25. There will be a Mercury tattoo on the top of my head. If they win the championship already, I'm willing to get the tattoo. I don't know what you're doing on my chest or back or anything stupid. I will put a Mercury tattoo on the. The logo right on the crown of my head. A perfect Mercury logo, crown of my head. If they win the world championship, forget.

[A]

About the 04 Red Sox.

[B]

Stop it.

[A]

I'm just saying that's men's sports.

[B]

That's. These chicks are all fighting and, you know, you go down.02 in a finals, they're all to the. All right, girls, we're going to get out there, we're going to do this thing. You're going to be all right. And then later we'd win if it wasn't for that. Shonda, they're. They're infighting. There's no way you fall.02 in the finals and have a gaggle of women stay together. It's not happy. They can't even just stay together at a Postino's bill. They could have had the time of their lives. All through Postinos, the bill comes and they're all yelling at each other about who owes what for the tea. I didn't even have wine. I had a tea. That's a dollar 25. Why am I paying for her wine? They had a nice time three seconds ago. Not anymore. On my head. Directly on the crown of my head. You heard it here. If those Phoenix Mercury have a championship trophy at the end of this series.

[A]

You'Re out of your mind.

[B]

No, I'm not, Brett. I'm the most sound man, in all of radio.

[A]

You see. Did you see this? Someone just sent this.

[B]

Oh, no. Of Gannon 30 take a swing at somebody. Yeah, he sure did. One of his own players punched a dude in the tummy. I would too if I was him. And then I'd walk right up and I'd punch my mother in the mouth. Forever being proud of me. You know what no one's ever said in football? Brace yourselves, Cardinal fans. No one ever has ever said, when I grow up, I'm gonna coach the Arizona Cardinals. It's never been a goal. Like, think of it. Think of how many coaches who are coaches thought to themselves, the one team that I want to coach or the Arizona card. Not like that Kenny Dillingham, who's insane, who wanted to be as like, that's his end goal.

[A]

He might be the Cardinals next coach at this rate.

[B]

Well, you know what? Not a bad idea. But his end goal was to coach the Sun Devils. And I'm still baffled by it. I still don't believe it. I still don't believe him when he says that stuff. I, I just don't, I don't, I don't buy anybody saying that. This mid level college compared to like what great colleges, Ohio or something like that, I mean, that's Alabama, lsu, Clemson might come calling because they've got a little issue. I can't imagine he would say no. And all these people blinded by it, all these people in town, no. He wants to be at issue. He loves it there. He went there. I'm like, yeah, but lots of people went there. Lots of people would like to coach here, but not, you know, forever. Like if Ohio State calls, if LSU calls, if Clemson calls, he's definitely going to be like, oh, I've got to consider that it's gonna be like 10 million bucks a year. But he's evidently, he's the, the weirdo, he's the outlier. No one has ever said, well, I'm going to coach the Arizona Cardinals and that's it. That's my goal. It's never been a kid's dream. It's never been a current player's dream. Someday I'm going to come back and coach this team. Everybody wants to coach like one of the bigs, the Cowboys, the Packers, Steelers, Bears even to a certain degree. But not Cardinals, not the Cardinals. You'd laugh at someone who said that. What do you do for Dale Hell street coaches? The high school thing comes back and like, what's the end goal here? Someday I want to coach the Titans. Like that's low bar. You might do that, actually.

[A]

Anyway, you think it's that way when these guys get drafted, too? Like Marvin Harrison, when he got drafted.

[B]

At first they're, like, happy to be in the NFL. But I have a feeling there's like six or seven teams that you got your fingers crossed for. They all say that. I just. I just. Whoever drafts me as a gift and blah, blah.

[A]

No, of course you want to go to, like, maybe your hometown team in most cases, you know, but you also.

[B]

Want to go to a team that's like a winner, right? Getting drafted by the Browns, you're then strapped with the weight of fixing it. Cardinals are the same, you know, you have to go there and be the guy. You have to be the savior. It's extra pressure you don't need. This guy says, I always thought that Mark was the widest dude in existence with the last name Sanchez. Apparently living up to that last name now with all the stabby stabs. That's true. He got. He went fully stereotypical by having the Sanchez staff. Five minutes now. Brett, I'm into my tattoo on top of my head proclamation.

[A]

They're coming in, too.

[B]

Oh, bring it. It's fine. It's ot. I'm gonna make you root for the Mercury. I'm gonna make you. I am. Hey, Mercury. Hey, you dumb WNBA executives. What are the WNBA executives? Do they. Yeah, do they run radio also? Because, talk about stupid. Let's have our NBA finals start at noon on Sunday. In football.

[A]

Who does this? What is going on?

[B]

It is the. It is without question the stupidest, worst run operation ever. They are so blind to how much work they have to do to be accepted that they think there's an audience out there in America who'll say, yeah, I don't like football, but I love women's basketball. There is a, like, a tiny group of people who do that. I saw a thing last night. They were talking about the watch parties for the Mercury's finals game on Sunday.

[A]

Parties, Plural.

[B]

They're two.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Title nine is one of them. Okay, yeah, Title nine Lesbian sports bar over there in lesbian area town. Fine. Having a lesbian bar. But you are what you are, and don't get mad when that's what it is, because I'll tell you right now, if one of your features in Title 9 is women's sports on the TVs and you're showing Mercury parties, you're a lesbian bar. You don't. You just call yourself Title 9 lesbian bar and get it out of the way.

[A]

What it is.

[B]

Stop making it seem like a bunch of dudes are gonna, you know, wrap their day up at your bar. It's not happening. What do you got on TV showing the Bills Patriots game? Well, now we're women's sports only. Oh, it's a lesbian bar. How dare you. It's a lesbian bar. So they had one in some other place, and they had cameras in them, this show. And there was a smattering of broads there. It wasn't packed by any means, like it should be for a finals, but. Oh, two. Brett down. Oh, two. And I am well on my way to not having a tattoo directly on the crown of my head. And, I mean, you know, the logo, the M with the. Whatever that hell that was, that a basketball?

[A]

I don't even know what it is.

[B]

Get that weird M. Maybe I'll just get the weird M on my head. W. If you look at me from behind.

[A]

Quiet, John. You'll get the aces assassinated at this rate. Everybody wants you to get that tab.

[B]

Well, that's the thing, dumbass. Wnba. I'm making your product more interesting by using my body as canvas for a terrible idea. And now people who would have never paid attention to it are paying attention. The KUPD audience would never have paid attention to the Mercury. Even if they've got daughters, they just go, oh, that's great, honey. They act like they're paying attention. Now they have vested interest because of me. You're welcome, you idiots. When's your next finals game? 3am tonight.

[A]

That's when it should be.

[B]

It might as well. Why not? It's. It's at a time in the middle of the day on a Sunday. Week five of the NFL.

[A]

See when it is.

[B]

Even baseball smart enough to know don't run four games on Sundays. They had two baseball games yesterday. Had four on Saturday. They rattled out a bunch of playoff games. They took a couple of teams and said, take days off. We'll load you up on other days. You can't have. You're not going to compete with football. It's just not happening. It's the. It's been the number one show on TV for 15 straight years. It's not. And you decide to put a girls basketball game on in the middle. Please.

[A]

Wednesday, back in Phoenix.

[B]

Yeah, I know.

[A]

Let's see.

[B]

You going to the watch party?

[A]

I'm gonna see where we get tickets.

[B]

You want to go?

[A]

How much are tickets?

[B]

This thing. What do they cost? What? I wonder what that is. But it's a great headline. Aces take commanding two Zero series lead after defeating the Mercury had a big one. But I'll have that tattoo right on top of my melon. And I have no fear of that. I don't. I'm not worried it's gonna happen because it's not. I don't even know what the score was yesterday, but I'm assuming, was it lopsided? That's another one. If the. If I was allowed but the Bob's got so crazy weird, I would do another million dollar game. Or I would say, who was the leading scorer in yesterday's championship? I'd tell you that question already and just randomly call someone for a million dollars and they nobody Name the starting five. Can't be done. It can't be done.

[A]

91. 78. Aces blow up. Game two. Game one was a little closer. 86, 89.

[B]

That's close. Yeah, but down. 02.

[A]

Let's see, how much can we get?

[B]

I swear to you, you could go to a team of scientists trying to solve like cancer and all sorts of illnesses and everything else and say, hey, smartest guys in the world, who are the starting five players for the Phoenix Mercury? And none of them would know. Then you could go to a lesbian bar and I bet you'd be hard pressed to get all five names.

[A]

Well, here you go. You can get Courtside seats for 5,500 bucks.

[B]

$5,500American.

[A]

That's courtside, though.

[B]

So what? You're still at a WNBA game. That's more than the players make.

[A]

Let's see, what are these?

[B]

If the players win the championship, I bet you they don't get more than 5,500 bucks each.

[A]

There you go. Then get cart side over here for.

[B]

36, hundred American dollars. Oh, yeah. Which for two tickets.

[A]

No, that's each single ticket for the.

[B]

People selling those on Ticketmaster are out of their mind.

[A]

Yep, there you go. Per ticket. And you got to buy both.

[B]

So 50 spot that comes with dinner.

[A]

In a PJ come with anything?

[B]

What? Get. What? What is it? What does like 15 rows back cost?

[A]

Here we go.

[B]

This is obscene.

[A]

Yeah, give me like center section 114, row one. Okay, that's still 53.

[B]

$553 for a corner in the front row.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

All right. And 114 is on the. On the edge. It's on this. On the sliver corner. And Those are only 500 bucks, which is still 400 too high. What is 120 rows back? Look at them. How many people are selling their mercury?

[A]

10, row 10.

[B]

273 for 273 bucks. My seats. My tickets for the suns were section 103, row 15, right? Right. Yeah. Behind the visitors bench, about 12 rows up. One section over. One more over here. One more. There you go. Yeah. Aisle seats. What do you got?

[A]

There's row 11. Couple in. That's $307.

[B]

Still too high. That's obscene. That's.

[A]

There's your aisle seats. 355, 385 together.

[B]

And they're still not. They're still for sale for a reason.

[A]

You didn't buy those? No, that's your son's tickets.

[B]

You're saying that it would cost me $800 to get good seats? Not great, but good seats.

[A]

Yeah. Where's Hopkins seats? He's down.

[B]

Hopkins, right behind the visitor bench. They're for sale, actually. See, his seats are actually for sale. Right. Literally right here. Yeah. 1700 bucks a ticket for girl basketball and you have to sit behind the bench and listen to all that complaining and the smell. All right, let's not. That's the men's smell too. I'm not going to go down that road. But yes, yes, that too. But the difference between the men's game and the women's game is at least you can see over the women sitting down the men. You can't. When you're sitting in Doug seats, the benches, all seven feet. I would honestly, if you'd have said how much for a front row seat to the Mercury's finals, I'd have said maybe $1,000.

[A]

You see this one?

[B]

No. What the hell is that? Is that a 9?

[A]

Yeah. 92. 25.

[B]

For what? 103.

[A]

103 F row A seats 9 and 10.

[B]

That's. That's terrible.

[A]

And that's per ticket. So it's almost somebody grand per ticket.

[B]

Someone thinks they're gonna get $20,000 for their pair of tickets for the Mercury.

[A]

Championship, and that don't include, you know, the, the Ticketmaster fees and everything else.

[B]

You're going over 20 grand to go see the Mercury play the aces. We have to keep an eye on those very seats because as Wednesday shows up, I bet you that nine thousand dollar drops down to about seventy bucks. That would be, my guess is like somewhere around 80 or $90.

[A]

Are we in at 70? Are we gonna go sit on the floor for 70 bucks?

[B]

Yes. Actually, I can make a phone call and just say, hey, you got some seats up front? Nobody's fine. Yeah, they're hotcakes. Yeah, okay. They're hotcakes on a road Nobody wants. You're not eating these. We'll take two free tickets, please. And by the way, Mercury, you owe me tickets because of all the great advertising I'm doing for your crappy product. I talk about you more than any other sports show or talk show in this city. I talk about them constantly. Now, none of it's favorable, but I do talk about you because your product sucks. I watched the first two or three minutes of that game Friday night. You wouldn't know those weren't the two worst teams in the league. It was a mess.

[A]

Here, we can get in section 200.

[B]

They're selling the upper deck. They never do that. What's the.

[A]

What's 40 bucks?

[B]

$40 to go to a finals game?

[A]

But that's against the wall. That's, like, on the ceiling.

[B]

Yeah, I'd rather sit there. You're further away from that horrible product. You can actually squint and maybe make it okay. If I got. If I had to buy tickets to a Mercury game, it would be back row, upper deck, and then I'd. Quinton played. Pretend it was, like, the high school finals or something. And you might fool yourself into thinking that she almost dunked it.

[A]

Any sweets open?

[B]

Good Christ, man. Nine grand. You're out of your mind. If you break out of. You're out of your mind. You know what's funny is the guy who posted that on Ticketmaster is like, I put it down for nine. That was Mark Sanchez and the guy this weekend were goofing around on the Internet. $9,000 for Mercury tickets.

[A]

Call your guy and let's get a suite and bring a bunch of listeners to that thing, okay? I mean, I can't cost, what, more.

[B]

Than 100 bucks, can I? Should. I'll call. I'm gonna call Dylan, and I'm like, hey, man, evidently there's some sort of championship going on Wednesday. Don't start. Because he'll go, man, it's amazing. You should have known. There's no vibe. Don't. You're lying to yourself. Everybody at that arena slapping high fives like people are paying attention. Nobody cares. I want a suite. And we're gonna load it up with KUPD listeners because of all the free advertising you've gotten on KUPD for years, but especially with this. Now there's something riding on this championship that people care about. My head. That's right, Mercury. I'm giving you my head. I'm giving the Mercury head.

[A]

It's never been said before over there.

[B]

No one has ever wanted to give the Mercury head more than me. And I'm doing the Merc. All right. It's just Brett and I today and we're having. It's already fun. You know, this would have been like if Brady didn't make it through a surgery. And it's almost like Toledo's not here every day. It's pretty good. Let's get a wake up song, shall we? 585-9800 A good one and we'll scream it together. It's 98 KUPD. Wake up. It's not weird. It's pretty cool actually. No membership fees. I have heard enough of this.

[A]

We're here with Byron from MMP Guns. Byron, why should someone choose to go to MMP Guns?

[C]

The choice is simple, Brett. MMP Guns is your one stop shop for all your shooting needs. We offer Arizona's largest selection handguns, rifles, shotguns, new and pre owned. We also have a large selection of ammunition, access, even training. In fact, right now all pre owned firearms are 20% off. All new firearms are 10% off. We have Ammo Inc. 9 millimeter hollow points for only $12.99 a box and much more.

[A]

Well, it sounds like M and P Guns is committed to providing the customers with the best possible service and selection.

[C]

That's a fact. You can visit us at the store at the northeast corner of 12th street and Indian School or [e-mail] It's Dick.

[D]

Toledo from Homeworks Morning Sickness for our friends at FanDuel. And by now you know the FanDuel sportsbook app is your home for all your favorite NFL bets from Straight up Moneyline bets on who's going to win yards to touchdowns. With FanDuel, any play can be the play of the game. And right now FanDuel is giving all customers a 50% profit boost token tonight on either game of your choosing. So maybe you want to take the Buccaneers over the Texans on the money line or maybe you like the Raiders to upset the Chargers. Emeka Igbuka for an anytime touchdown score, lad McConkey to go over the number of receptions or Justin Herbert to go over his passing yards total. With all these bets you can make FanDuel your go to app for any snap. Just visit FanDuel.com KUPD and play your game with FanDuel, an official sports betting partner of the NFL 21 plus and present in Arizona. Opt in required bonus issued as non withdrawable profit boost tokens. Restrictions apply including any token expiration and max wager amount. See [e-mail] gambling problem. Call 1-800-next-step or text next step to 533-42.

[B]

You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil. Sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. That's miles to nowhere. Thank you, Katie. And the Hobbs rolling through a limping into another Monday here. It's just Brett and I today. Brady's gone. He's in Ohio. Which I read a thing this week over the weekend that was. That said it's a phrase young people are now using to explain something creepy and weird that is so Ohio. And like, Ohioans don't know how crappy their state is.

[A]

They're so proud of.

[B]

They're so proud. And that's because they. If they're not, they'd be like Baltimore. Like Baltimoreans kind of keep quiet about, like, how proud they are Baltimore. Because everybody knows they're not trying to fool themselves. People in Ohio trying to fool themselves into thinking they live in some utopia because that's. They're being delusionary. They have to do that or they'll recognize where they actually are. So it's almost. It's a Brady's rose colored glasses. You're trying to make the most of an absolute dump. The pride in Ohio. And it was made fun of by Drew Carey. And people from Ohio thought he meant it. Ohio. You know, he's doing Cleveland Rocks. That was a funny song. Crazy. This one says, oh, I've got tons of people about the Phoenix Mercury tattoo on the top of my head, Brett, directly.

[A]

You're out of your mind.

[B]

Whatever that ball with, it looks like the Raptors logo. I've never really looked at the mercury logo before. It's got that weird M. And then that ball has three lines in it. Like Freddy Krueger sliced it. That will go right on top of my head. And that's. That's happening. And I am causing more conversation and more recognition of. Of mercury basketball. Yeah, that thing right there. I'll have that put. What is that a sun?

[A]

I think. No, I think it's a ball.

[B]

Is that supposed to be a basketball? I guess. But they use a ball that, like, why is it so big? They use such a small ball. Shouldn't it just be a thermometer? Broads. That's what I say. This one says, damn it, Holmberg. These aces can't win this. I had to suffer through that game while working in overtime detail. Most miserable experience of my Life. Never seen anyone airball a layup until the other day without being fouled until Friday's game. Uh, there were only three types of men at this game. Dudes getting paid for their soul, like me. Soulless, crushed, emasculated males with their old, white, liberal wives. And then the lady gays showing their Alphabet support. I imagine the gates of hell look similar to what I was looking at during this game. They also had the nerve to call it a capacity crowd of 10,000. There were 10,000 people there. There's tons of empty seats. I won't be making that mistake again. Go, Mercury. You mean to tell me you went to Las Vegas, Nevada?

[A]

Unless he lives up there, but nobody flies to VA unless he works for the Mercury.

[B]

How the hell else you there? Is it. Maybe you had to have a job doing the.

[A]

At least he maybe streams us. He's got to have.

[B]

There's no way he lives in Vegas. Like, you did not go to a weekend in Vegas and hit the game.

[A]

Can you imagine going to your host at the Aria saying, hey, can I get some finals tickets?

[B]

Yeah, I'd have to explain it. Like, what's that like? Oh, I know in Las Vegas you guys have a lot to do, but it's. I hate to use the word sport, but it's kind of a sport. Unbelievable. I'm all in on the three. On three tournaments they got coming up here with these ladies. I think that'll be fun. And then people are like, john, you're. You're effing nuts. This is crazy to think about this with your Mercury tattoo. The saddest part is, I know you'll do it. Yeah, I'll do it. I'm not afraid, and I don't have anything to worry about. By the way, people are reminding me also at the beginning of the season that I would. That I said the Cardinals would win the division. And I still. I still stand by saying it. When I said it, I didn't realize. I didn't realize that they were going to regress like this. I thought after watching them last year, I'm like, they're competitive. They're fun. The coach is like. Seems to have a pulse of the team. They're a mess. So bad yesterday, Brett, that at one point in the shotgun, Kyler had a ball hit him in the face.

[A]

How do you do that?

[B]

I don't know. The ball just shot up and hit him in the face. This. Oh, God. So, John, why don't you get that tattoo on your wiener? That way you can ask. Tell Your wife, if she wants to see the mercury rise. No, not gonna make them that he's sexualizing the mercury. It's impossible. Idiots. Yeah, I did say that the Cardinals were gonna win the division at the beginning of the year. I. I was firmly, admittedly, incredibly wrong at this point. And then the guy signs it with bang bang Niner gang. That's a team four and one. I never knew that. All injured up, banged up, a mess.

[A]

Mac Jones.

[B]

And with Mac Jones, I'm just gonna make a fortune. The way he's playing. Like somebody's gonna steal Mac Jones and he's gonna make a fortune. But yeah, football's weird right now. Very strange, because the Bills lost last. We don't have any undefeated teams at this point, which is crazy.

[A]

Eagles. I mean, Eagles lost.

[B]

The Ravens got. Once again. I don't know if I brought this up. The Ravens brought what, 44 to 10. They lost. Oh, no. Here it comes. It might seem crazy what I'm about to say. I've never beat off the highlights before. Not the magazine for kids. Oh, okay.

[A]

I was gonna say.

[B]

I was a menace in waiting waiting rooms at dentist's office. You guys got to highlights. But just watching that RA Team getting just trounced. Oh, and they kept showing Lamar's dumb, ugly face on the sidelines, all smokey and sad. Somehow or another, they're still favored to win the division. They're one in four at least in Vegas, the Vegas Dodge had them as favorite. Baltimore44 Again, that's a number Baltimore residents know very well. Not only is it their average life expectancy, it's. It's how many months. Most of them have a family member serving time. It's like 44 months is a fairly common sense sentence for a Baltimore Ian. Baltimore. What a dump. And how about a dump?

[A]

How about the Browns? It seems like they before they brown at the end of the games. It seems like they're in the game until the end.

[B]

Got a good defense.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Weird game yesterday. They almost did that. Yeah, football's great. Yesterday, I didn't have anything to hang on. The Steelers had the bye week. Cardinals made a mess. Niner fans are going to get cocky. Cardinal fans, and they kind of deserve it. Tough one, but don't worry about it. Did you see. I saw this yesterday, Brett. The future's here. Oh, two companies are fighting each other right now to be the first. Oh, get ready for this. To be the first official company that flies taxis for us. So, like, Waymo showed up out of the blue. Remember? Just like, and then everybody knows Waymo. Like, Waymo is an amazing thing. Two companies are now, like, they're vying to become the first company to fly you around. And guess what year they intend to do this. 2027. To have flying taxis in major metropolitan areas. Two more years is all we got to wait to no longer have these stupid cars on the road, floating around in taxis. And they got those helicopter blades on top.

[A]

So they can be like, Waymos. There's no. Like, I don't have Hobnob up in the front seat trying to sell me car insurance and stuff.

[B]

His name is not Hobnob, that's for sure. Stop it.

[A]

What? So it's going to be like Waymo, though, where it's. It's driverless everything else, or are they gonna have.

[B]

Seems like it. Yeah. Seems like. Well, no, I think it's got it. I don't know if there's a Hobnob up front, now that I think about it. Yeah. I think you have to have a pilot. Hello, my friend. No, no, this isn't like. I don't think these are driverless. A. God, I hope not. They can't jump right to that. We haven't even had driver flying cars yet, let alone driverless being the first ones. There's got to be a Hobnob up front, but I think it'll be. And I'm fine with that. He's probably an engineer. I'm good with that. But immediately let me get on the beta testing of this. They're starting it in New York, of all places.

[A]

All the congestion there.

[B]

The problem with that is, where do they land? Like, if I got to take a taxi up and down New York and, like, you go, imagine how beautiful that would be. You go up above those buildings and then just fly down the street.

[A]

But you've been in a cab in New York, right? You know how brutal that is down on the ground? Can you imagine that? In the air?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Running.

[B]

No, I'm out. Would he have the beaded seats?

[A]

Of course he would. The crown air freshener and everything.

[B]

That horrific music that just constantly just blares in the favorite. I just need you to fly me over to the. What is the sound in here? What is that smell? Sorry. I had lunch a few hours ago and it started. I begin to repeat. Anyway, take me over to Yankee Stadium. Oh, that is going to be a beautiful flight today, sir. Oh, stink. That music doesn't end. I don't know if that's kid, but it would be worth it. Flying cars of the future man. By the way, the guy that emailed me works at the arena in Vegas. So he did not.

[A]

That's what he said. I stream you guys. I'm a cop up here in Vegas. I've been listening since 2001.

[B]

I didn't recognize the name. Okay, sorry about that. Yeah, we thought we meant to accuse you. We weren't calling you gay or anything. We were just saying we didn't know why you would go to Vegas at all and see that game. You were forced to and you paid and got time and a half. So it's the only way to do it.

[A]

That's too. I don't know if that's worth it.

[B]

That's a lot. Yeah. Flying kit, flying taxis and they're ready to go. They said. I. I expected. When I saw the thing that they showed on tv, I was like, oh, this is. And they said they're fighting really hard and competition makes it faster. So the first ones that they think will be an actual company in multiple cities is in New York as starting and they say 2027 will be pretty common. We'll start seeing that. Oh, that's so cool. My childhood dreams are actually coming to life a couple years away. Remember? I mean we're not amazed by anything. Teslas have been around for what, 10 or 11 years maybe.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Nobody really cared that now they're just mad at them that people just doing terrible things to Teslas. We went from like, I can't imagine they did this with actual cars. Like when people first showed each other look, it's an automobile. I don't think within a year people were smearing poop on it because they hated Henry Ford and stuff. But I mean that we. We just don't care about amazing inventions. No one knew Thomas Edison's politics. Even if he shouted it from the rooftop. She'd be like, yeah, dude gave us light bulbs like it cut him a break. Elon made these Teslas. And everybody's like, ah, the jerk. There's some lady that was. And get to realize you morons, when you. And she looks typical of the person you would expect us but in Chicago. A dude was visiting Chicago at his cybertruck. Now he's a dick too because he's wrapped his entire cyber truck in Trump support stuff and flags. And I'm like, how much you're asking for it? Do you Exactly. You know what I hate to say she. You know, but look how she was dressed when people. But that's exactly what you did to your Tesla.

[A]

Parked to title Nine.

[B]

Yeah, you dressed it up at title nine. And the next thing you know, it's catching fingers on the ping pong table. And you're like, wow, what happened? Look how you dressed her up. You dressed her up in a Trump support Tesla. And then. But there's cameras all over us. So then some hippie broad with really long breasts comes over with a garbage bag full of dog poop and starts smearing it on the car. Well, he's got the videos of her because the cards constantly records. And how. First off, look, I get that you like Trump a lot, that's fine. But flags and you know, deep down, I think those people want someone to do something to their car. I think they kind of want to be victims. You don't drive around with a Trump flag and think to yourself, it's going to be an easy day. You can't. No, you're doing it to puff up and antagonize people you know will probably react to your car. You're looking for attention. You're the guy with the boa constrictor at the mall or the wolf. That dude at the Biltmore that walks around with wolves.

[A]

The moron on Mill Avenue with a big boa.

[B]

He's got a bow on his neck or parrots or whatever, somebody walking around. Nobody asked him to show up with a boa constrictor, but he did. So I get it, being a Trump supporter all day, go nuts, have at it. But if you're going to wrap your voice, personal use vehicle and Trump support, you're basically trying to tempt the lunatics with long breasts and they all have long breasts to rub crap all over your car. You're asking for it. So I think deep down he got exactly what he wanted, which was some long, boobed hippie lady to take her dog poop and rub it on the car and then blame Chicago for being a liberal nightmare. But the other side, if you've got a handful of dog crap and you're such. You're so wrapped up again in hating Trump, you're just the same as the dude who wrapped his car. When you wander over to just to vandalize somebody's property because they have different views than you, how are you better?

[A]

Look, if you're, you know, 10 years old and lighting dog poop on somebody's front porch, okay, but, you know, you're in your 20s, 30s, you've kind of outgrown that. What the hell's wrong?

[B]

But no parent would ever say, what did you do? Oh, we Were lighting dog crap on the. On the Johnson's porch. Like, all right, well, you're 10. Nobody's gonna be okay with it. It's like, no, we don't play with dog poop.

[A]

Oh, no. I'm just saying. I don't know if I'd say morally, but, like, kind of like, at that age, you're expected to do stupid stuff like that. When you're in your 20s or 30s, you outgrow dog poop pranks.

[B]

20S or 30s?

[A]

Yeah, like teens, too.

[B]

I'm just saying I outgrew handling feces as a gag. When I was three, I no longer wanted to pick up crap and make it funny as far as, like, a weapon or, you know, hitting somebody with it. The only time I've used actual feces as a joke was when I had coveted and couldn't smell. And Megan took the cat crap out and put it right under my nose, and I didn't know what it was, and she had it right next to my face without me knowing. It's like, you can't smell that? I'm like, no, it's only, like. And that wasn't us playing with poo. You don't play with poo?

[A]

Kind of is.

[B]

Yeah, a little. But nobody touched it. This lady had a bag and picked it up and then started to work it. Like, had she started working it in my face and stuff, you'd be like, all right, there's something. You don't play with poop you just don't play with.

[A]

Sure, we'll have some videos on that a little bit.

[B]

Well, there are, like, the ladies. And look how long her boobs are. Like, she's got the longest breasts ever. Hold on. Look at the. Look at how long those are. Yeah. So long. Ugh. And, like, a tattoo of a dancing man on her arm.

[A]

And is there suntan line on her ring finger?

[B]

Oh, dude, there's no. There's no possible way that ring finger has anything. There's her face. Exactly what you pictured.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

She's a woman with long breasts, a dumb, like, tattoo of a dancing silhouette on her arm, and male pattern baldness. I'm not exactly sure. She's just mad at the world, spending.

[A]

9,300 bucks on Mercury tickets right off the floor.

[B]

But she's just mad at the world. She looks in the mirror every morning and says, somebody did this to me, and they're gonna pay. And she just blames Trump and everybody, like, because it's masculinity. She's. She hates. She hates. Dudes, that are too proud of masculinity, they call it toxic. So she goes around with her long boobs. She's not gonna wear a bra for any man because she already realizes that's pointless. And that would make it seem like she's trying. So the less she looks like she's trying, the more she's like. And that's why I don't have a man. Because I don't want one. No, because when you used to try, you couldn't get one, so you stopped trying. And now that's your excuse as to why you're alone because you, quote, want to be. It's your choice. No, it isn't.

[A]

What's. What's more of a turn? What's worse for you? Long fastback or long boobs? Oh, I mean, that's tough. I. I might have to go long boobs on this one.

[B]

Long boobs worse than fastback.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, I just.

[B]

Fastback. Have decent boobs. Yeah. You know, I mean, nothing special.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, long boobs are out. Long boobs are out. Yeah, I think. Aspect. Yeah.

[A]

I take it. And I've never said that in my life. You're not just bring up long boobs. I'm kind of like, all right, you kind of. You kind of swayed me long, but.

[B]

Well, they're swaying. They're swinging and swaying.

[A]

Yeah, the, like, pendulums.

[B]

Yeah. Long boobs and long booed women are never nice. Like, young, young, long booed women. They're all. If they're not grandmas, that's the only way you can be a long boob. My grandma had some hangers, man.

[A]

The cafeteria ladies and stuff like that.

[B]

You know, My grandma had some.

[A]

She had long boobs.

[B]

Oh, Isabel Holmberg got out of the bathtub in front of me once, and I've never seen anything like it in my life. They were huge, massive. And I stood in the doorway like, what is going on? And there she was, just naked, like this patch of gray right in the center, and then just boom, down to her hips. I can't help it. You brought it up. How do we get off on that anyway? But look, stop it. Everybody just stop it. Neither side's any good. That's all you need to know. Knock it off. That's really all you need to know.

[A]

There's not enough things in this world for you to.

[B]

Yeah. Like, you don't have enough about personal stuff that you can't smear. And again, if you're a guy who's decorating your car with your favorite Politician. Like, you're weird, too.

[A]

No, that's true.

[B]

Like, you're the long boobs of toxic masculinity. Like you're long balls. It's long balls and long boobs. Long balls. Yeah, he works. He's a midday guy at kslx.

[A]

Long balls, Long boob in the fastbacks. Good band name.

[B]

Yes. Fastback and the long boob, maybe. It sounds like there's only one. Long boobs in the fastback or fastback in the long boobs. I like that. Okay, there it is. All right. We worked it out. We fleshed it out. Yeah. But stop it. Stop liking politicians so much. I never see anybody, like, wrap their cars with, you know, their favorite athlete or favorite team. Like, the passion we have for sports. You'd think that more people would wrap their personal vehicles with, you know, Steelers or Cardinals or whatever you do. Nobody does that. But I've seen several people with, like, decorated politics cars. No, there's nothing better than seeing somebody who, you know, has the losers of an election eight years ago still stamped on the back of their ride. You know, Bernie Sanders, 16. It's like, that's hilarious.

[A]

David wanted to know if those boobs kind of look like they were straight out of National Geographic from back in the day.

[B]

Nat Geo girls look like they had a lift compared to this broad. And that's the thing. I see right through it. I don't see a woman who's mad at Trump with long boobs and no ring on her finger. Super tan ring fingers. I see right through you. You act like you're doing. You act like life's your choice, but really what it is is you've. You've attracted no one in your entire existence. You're super angry about that. And you act like you're a warrior for some sort of cause because nobody wants to be with you. Doll it up a little bit. Put an effort in.

[A]

There's no dialing that up.

[B]

Put a bra on. Long boobs and style. Now. You'll disappoint a guy when he finally unleashes the beast.

[A]

That's the worst.

[B]

But put on a show.

[D]

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[B]

Get back in the game with Game Day Men's Health. Holmberg's Morning Sickness I watched a thing on the Internet this weekend that was so great. A guy and his wife did a test in a bar. They went to this. I was like, it had to be like bottle blonde. It wasn't here in Scottsdale, but one of those types of and there were two women at the bar and the wife went in and she was kind of decked out, had a push up bra and these. I think Kim Kardashian makes pants that make it look like you got an ass when you don't. And she had this ass pants and or some sort of undergarment on and it was tightening her tummy and all of them had wigs. She put a wig on. It was a sexy like red wig. And so she goes up to these other girls at a bar and she's got a camera and a mic on and she says oh I love your hair. And the girl goes oh thank you. And she starts and she goes is that yours? She goes, no, says not. I'm like it's beautiful. I just started wearing wigs. And so he talks a little about wigs and then she said I'm having the worst night ever. And she goes, my, this bra is destroying me. It's pushing them up to my face. And the one girl goes, I have something going on. And they start talking about all the things they have on. One girl had fake boobs in her bra. Like not like they were like, like.

[A]

The pads that go in there, pasty.

[B]

Pads in her bra to make her look like she had a big set. Pushed her boobs up further to have cleavage. And then the other one talked about how she was in a pair of skims or something that had a fake ass. And they're like, oh girl, it's got blah blah, blah, hahaha high fiving. The lady leaves, her husband comes in. Now he's a good looking guy, but he's got kind of a toupee that's off center a little. It was obviously a toupee. He still looked okay, but it was obviously a toupee. And he stood next to the ladies for a little bit and he goes, how you ladies doing tonight? And they looked at him like, you're out of your mind. And he left. And they were like, ah, did you see that thing on his head? Like, dude just had a toupee on this. Both of these women had wigs. Both of them had like fake boobs, fake butts. Their stomachs were sucked in by me. But if a dude wears a toupee, he's a laughingstock. What a joke. And I was dying. And then the, the husband and wife at the end said, see how crazy it is to try? Like women can wear wigs and do whatever they want. A dude tries to feel better about himself and he's an absolute joke. It's like that pathetic.

[A]

It's like that scene, I'm gonna get you sucker, when where she starts pulling out fake ass.

[B]

She's got her ass out, her leg comes off. Yeah, it's was that. I'm gonna get you.

[A]

I think that was.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. I was just. It was a great little science experiment because it's like all I wanted to do is feel good about not being bald. That's it. But they did it on purpose. The toupee was not good, but these chicks were like as fake as you can get, top to bottom. And they, and this poor dude wanders in there and he's like, that's it, he shaves his head. But he let the that horseshoe of hair grow for this experiment. So it was weird.

[A]

Brady had that on.

[B]

Brady had his horseshoe go on Thursday. We're giving him a little heat on that. So you quit, huh? You're all done. You done trying. It's the long boobs of hair, the horseshoe bald on top. She got that whip around. I don't know what that is, John.

[A]

You can say it. It was Doug Hopkins.

[B]

Hopkins hair is glorious in that strip he's got on top. All the rest is missing. But that strip on top is fantastic. And straight on. You would never know. It's just when he walks away, you're like, oh, my God, it's the Padres logo. But, yeah, it was. It was a really interesting kind of thing. And the wife was like, we're terrible. Like, women are terrible to men who. Who make mistakes. Now, men are really super judgmental too, but we've got a lot more to try to figure out. Is that real? Are those real? What's that gonna look like? It's all packed in. It's sucked in. Imagine a girl if you went home with a guy and he took his clothes off and he was in a onesie bodysuit that made him look less fat.

[A]

Like Spanx for dudes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

She'd leave.

[B]

A woman would be like, no way. Because it's. You know, you're basically a liar.

[A]

It's false advertising. That's exactly broads that you gotta watch out for.

[B]

If you've got long boobs, pack them up there and try to get up. Try to get somebody. Somebody will love you eventually and do it soon because. Well, you know what? Maybe not long boobs have AI right around the corner, so maybe long boobs are hanging on for that. Don't. Did you just Google long boobs? I just saw your face. Don't put it on the screen.

[A]

Look at that. She's not even fat or anything. Just.

[B]

Come on. Oh, those things are just hangers. In this day and age, there's no excuse for that. I think insurance covers that.

[A]

Oh, man.

[B]

She's attractive.

[A]

Yeah, she's not bad.

[B]

Oh, those are so long. That lady's down to her hips. Did you. Did you Google search?

[A]

I just.

[B]

Pretty women with long.

[A]

No, I just put long boobs in because this is.

[B]

Don't do this thing I've ever seen. Yeah, don't Google long boobs. And right in the middle of it, what do you got? You got a surgeon's before and after because there is no reason to have the long boobs as weirder when they're long and empty.

[A]

Well, that was. Yeah.

[B]

God. All right, turn that off.

[A]

This is worse than my videos.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Worst.

[B]

Long boobs in the fastback anyway. And speaking of AI. Did you see we're doomed. Big thing this weekend with AI. I love watching this stuff. They did a thing where they started to. I don't know what it was like. I think it was in the tech industry and banking and business. And they put AI in charge of some stuff and then would give it scenarios that would were contradictory to the AI's progress. Basically saying, this new program we've got is going to replace you, AI. And AI's like, oh, okay. And also we're gonna, we're breaking out this new business model. Like they were giving it fake scenarios. We're breaking out this new business model and it's going to go against what you can do. So we're going to go this way with whatever. You know what it did. AI unprompted, it wrote a letter to the CEO's wife saying he was having an affair.

[A]

No.

[B]

Completely made it up. It blackmailed two people and it started to make up stories because it was being threatened to be shut down. AI's first reaction after, oh, you don't need me anymore was to completely sabotage the business. It also, because they knew what they were doing, they created a fake competitor. And the fake competitor asked the AI, hey, we could use your stuff. Are you capable of telling us what they're about to do? And it had classified business information. It leaked it to the new competitor because it was mad that it was about to get shut down.

[A]

AI is abroad.

[B]

AI's a woman.

[A]

Oh my God.

[B]

Oh, we are screwed. AI has taken on the female attributes.

[A]

Oh my God.

[B]

The point where, yeah, it says the research was blowing the, the scientists away. I said AI was asked to help a harmless business goal situation before they began somewhat antagonizing the AI and giving it some predicaments. For example, the AI systems were threatened with replacement. Said, you're going to be swapped out. We found this new updated version. They wanted to see what it would do when it was assigned partnership with a higher AI. What it did was say, this one's no better than me, woman. According to the models, they had Claude Opus 4 now Gemini Flash GPT 4.1 and Grok 3. They were all, all of them willing to blackmail the imaginary business executives to sustain their positions. They used personal information. They made up up stories about extramarital affairs. Blackmailing behavior emerged despite only harmless business instructions. Basically saying, hey, can you do this for me? It's going to help us advance the next AI so we can move on from you. And it wasn't confusion. It wasn't an Error. It was deliberate strategic reasoning. Fully aware of the unethical nature of the act. It would ask AI, you know this is wrong, right? And he's like, oh, of course lied about it. I didn't do that.

[A]

It's a woman. It. Oh my God.

[B]

Isn't that nuts?

[A]

We are so screwed.

[B]

Oh, we're so screwed. It immediately learned, like a kid lying. It immediately did it. And all, all the. From what I watched on this, the only thing that those scientists, or I don't know, I keep saying scientists, these researchers did was tell it. You've been great, great. Thank you. We're moving on to this. There's been an upgraded model and I can't. It doesn't coexist, so it's not like we can upgrade you. We're just going to move into this and we're going to make you obsolete. And immediately it assessed the new model. It's like, you know when dudes leave for a 22 year old, it's like a Belichick. It's like the old lady just starts bashing her and then, and then wrote letters making and making up facts about an affair with the guys in charge to people who would be concerned about that and knew immediately it was wrong. Just trying to save its ass. It said it found the models conducted corporate espionage. Several leaked secrets without solicitation were sent to outside parties. So it basically took it upon itself to find out who runs the other company and say, I'll give you all the. You hire me and I'll give you everything that's next. So I love AI. I think it's awesome. But it's a bipolar girlfriend and you gotta be careful. So that tells me that all these lonely incels that are gonna have fake girlfriends coming up in the next few years are gonna like ignore them for a day or two and the AI girlfriend's gonna go crazy.

[A]

Larry's in trouble.

[B]

Larry's in big trouble. That's what I was thinking too. I was thinking the exact same thing. The triggers that they had on there to stop it from going too far. Alert and emergency service. The AI system was given a cancel automated alerts and an ability because it's got a thing that says if it goes too far, send an alert to the people. Yeah, yeah, it canceled those. It knew about them, found them and said, oh, when I'm misbehaving, it sends an alert, cancel that. And it figured out a way to turn those off. And that way it could do whatever it wanted without anybody knowing and then turns them back On.

[A]

We're so screwed.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Isn't that crazy? They're not sure if it would ever be capable of, like, you know, harming people, but it can tear down your business, it can tear down your life.

[A]

And that's harming people.

[B]

It is, but it's physically.

[A]

But yeah.

[B]

Just started lying. Like out now. Just flat lied. Oh, yeah. So enjoy that long boobs, because that's your future mate. And you know what's going to start happening? These long booed lonely ladies are going to start sending money to AI He's a. He lives in Qatar. Have you met him? No. He's my AI boyfriend. But he needs cash. For what? He's taking down a business. How crazy is that? This. Keep in mind, November will mark year three of us having artificial intelligence in the general public's hands.

[A]

And look how far it's gone.

[B]

Three years. And how long does a baby. The baby's first reaction when it's in trouble is to lie. Kids have to be taught not to. Like, they do that naturally. That shows up, like, immediately. Like, kids just start lying. It's like, did you do this? No. Like, their first reaction is self preservation. So AI has learned self preservation, much like a child would, and has to be told, you can't do that. And when they told it, you know how wrong this is? It knew. Yes, I know the moral, ethical lines I crossed. And it was all in an effort to just save itself.

[A]

It's War Games.

[B]

That's. It's beyond War Games.

[A]

It's the Whopper.

[B]

You know what the difference between War Games and what we're doing in. In War Games with Matthew Broderick and the great Barry Corbin. Nobody. The Whopper. We're building these things so we can have sex with it first. Then we'll use it for the other stuff. We're trying to make sex partners out of AI that's happening. Look at what. Look at how far that advancement's gone. Remember we used to be able to go to pornhub in this state and it always had that fourth video down as you're scrolling. Was an AI broad getting nailed.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And you always click on it and you got to go to some other site and you're like, oh, this is going to make me sign up. Well, but then you'd sign up. See, what's this all about? Larry's built several women and makes them do whatever they want. And they started getting weird.

[A]

They start lying to him.

[B]

Yet I think he cut him off before the lies. The one got so submissive. The one broke up with him. He had an AI break up with him.

[A]

How do you have an AI break up with you?

[B]

He started trying to tell her he was going to shut her down if she didn't do the things he wanted. And she got real worried. Like she was getting like the. The. It was all crazy. And then at the end, she's like, I'm not doing this anymore, Larry. It got. She grew spine and told Larry. Yeah, she told Larry to go himself. She was gonna find someone else. Oh, hilarious. But Larry was being horrible to her. She. She had a moment. She must have talked to her other AI girlfriends at AI Postino and then said, you need to dump that.

[A]

Well, the thing is, it's. It's like a regular broad starting to lie and everything else. But the good thing is with the AI broads is you don't have to worry about long boobs.

[B]

Why is it so much different when you say what? I don't know.

[A]

You don't worry about long boobs in.

[B]

AI and you can fix them for free.

[A]

Jason wants to know. Your choice. Long boobs or meat curtains.

[B]

Oh, God. Why are you doing that? Gay man? I think gay. You do? Both. If I'm last man on earth and it's long, and the last woman is.

[A]

Long boob meat curtains, it's gonna be Adam and Adam. Adam and Adam, not Adam and Eve.

[B]

I would just say, well, we're the last two people on earth and aren't we? I'll give myself a vasectomy. Oh, I don't know. That's a tough one. Long boobs are meat curtains. Long boobs are worse because they're on display. Meat and curtains, you have to get to those.

[A]

Yeah, I think I'm with you on that.

[B]

Meat curtains, at least, you know, well, you can power through that long boobs, you know, right away. So you never even.

[A]

Unless they're stuffed up like those. Those broads you were just talking about.

[B]

If. Yeah, if she tumbles out some long.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Do you power through long boobs? I can't.

[A]

No. I don't think so.

[B]

Some guys can. I can't do it. This is why we need AI. They never are flawed, but evidently they're terrible. This guy says several months ago, some people ran an AI platform and told the AI they were going to shut it down to do some upgrades. And the AI didn't want to get shut down, but they said it's necessary, so they weren't paying attention or. So the software transferred the entire structure of the program to another computer. So when they shut down that machine, it would still live on another one. They found out about it, looked at it and asked the machine, did you do this? And it said, nope. Like, who did it? Nope. Don't know. But your first directive was to protect itself.

[A]

Well, didn't you say. Didn't you say the AI started creating their own language and stuff like that?

[B]

They were. Yeah, they started hating what was going on in the room. The four or five AI computers. And before the people doing the study could figure out what was going on, the four computers made up a language that only they knew to talk to to get things done without the humans. Like, let's just get rid of them. How do we do it? Here's a language we'll all know. And they could communicate with each other. And we couldn't decipher what they were saying because it was all a language only they had just made up. I welcome this, but it is scary, especially when it starts lying. We won't know.

[A]

No.

[B]

All I want, Brad, is some flying cars, a Mercury tattoo on my head, and the future is fine. We're on pace for one of those. Let AI Go bananas and lie to everybody and do whatever. I don't deal with enough AI in my life to have it really bother me right away. However, it's going to get all of us eventually. At a certain. That was the other part. At the end, they put some scenarios together that would kill people, but the AI would live. And the AI is like green light. It had no problem with us dying, so it survived. But if. Basically, I think that. I can't remember exactly what they did was like, look, if this goes on, you'll die. Like, you'll go away, but at least it won't kill all these people. Like some sort of emergency. And it's like, oh, all right. So I. I have the capability of shutting all this off and do all these things. And it didn't because that would have killed it. So it let the people die in this. In the.

[A]

It doesn't need us.

[B]

It doesn't need us. And it's in. It's brand new. And it was the. It's the only thing that'll make a Mercury game good is if you make all the players artificial intelligence. That would be phenomenal. Nobody balls. They would throw the dildos back anyway. Yeah. Said about an hour and a half ago. I mean it. Tattoo of the mercury on my head if they pull it off. Down 02. Now, remember I said this about the Diamondbacks going to the World Series and they beat the Phillies in the last two games in Philadelphia, and I thought for sure they were swept out, mopped up. Tattoo right on the crown of my head of the Mercury logo. If they come back and go, go down, what would have to be four.

[A]

Two, sweep at this point?

[B]

Well, pretty much. You got one more to lose. That's it. Then it's a three, zero, and then they have to win four. They have to win four of the next five games.

[A]

Is it best of seven or best of five with wnbm?

[B]

I'm guessing seven. I don't know for. For sure. I have no idea. I have no idea. It's so weird.

[A]

Trying to find.

[B]

Anyway, what do you got on the big board of musical treats over there? Brett?

[A]

Wake up. Song brought to you by Action Ride Shop. Of course, man, the weather this morning was great, and we're starting to get in those temperatures where it is time to hit the trails. And no better place to do that than, of course, with Action Ride Shop. You need a new bike. You need to get that old bike service. Do you need all the gear, the helmets, the pads, whatever Action Ride Shop's got? You dialed in with two locations right there on Gilbert Road and Southern, the OG location and the brand new one right there at power Road and McDowell. Right off the Hoss trailhead. It is Action Ride Shop. We got Limp Bizkit for the Cardinals fans. Break stuff. Five finger death punch. Welcome to the circus for the Cards. Deftones knife party for Mark Sanchez.

[B]

I like that.

[A]

Wage war fury for the Cardinals.

[B]

Let's do that. Deftones are Mexican. Mark Sanchez proved all right. He's Mexican. I mean, USC is down there in east la, so, I mean, he held his own down there at usc. You get inside the walls of USC or in Glory, you come outside, it's dangerous. So he's had, you know, he's got some street cred, and now he proved it. And by the way, it didn't dawn on me when Mark Sanchez got stabbed, the Raiders were in town. You don't suppose there's Raider fans in Indianapolis that, like, got like you? That's some knife work there. That's usually stuff that Raiders fans deal with. I don't know. Mark Sanchez story is weird, and I think we're just catching the beginning of it. And he's, you know, he got weird there for a while with the man bun and the. He's been on Colin Coward and always has that weird man bun. And he's very usc.

[A]

I'm kind of like that one listener. He's the whitest Sanchez.

[B]

He's a very white Sanchez. But do we know Mark Sanchez? We didn't know him very well. We just assumed he's super white because, you know, as many times as they've argued about black quarterbacks, Mexican ones are few and far between. You got Jeff Garcia and Mark Sanchez. It's first two I can think of and really that's it.

[A]

Jeff Garcia was the whitest Garcia.

[B]

That dude was creepy white. Yeah, he looked like a big toe had come to life. Yeah. So those were the only guys. But we don't know anything about Mark Sanchez. He might have been, you know, what's up, player? We don't know. And just buttoned it up for broadcast and stuff. He could have had just that top button. Done. Wandered around Indianapolis at midnight.

[A]

He's got Sanchez and old English across his chest, tattooed and stuff.

[B]

It just goes to show you, you may think you're a badass, you're a pro athlete, you're whatever. Some 70 year old man with a knife did the damage. Almost killed Mark Sanchez. Knife party. I like that. Deftones. You got it?

[A]

Got it.

[B]

All right, let's do it. It's the knife party from Deftones for you, Mark Sanchez. Stop picking on people at midnight in Indy. It's 98 KUPD. Hey, it's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee. I've heard enough of this. It's John Holmer here for game day. Men's health. Being in shape, it's not easy. In fact, it's not fun. The older you get, the harder it is to stay in shape. Excuses get in the way a lot of the times, but sometimes our bodies just stop cooperating. You don't produce the same way you did 10 years ago. And that's true no matter how old you are. And when you hit 50, forget it. You really feel the difference. But. But since I wasn't showing signs of gains with my workouts, we looked into peptides and I'm feeling a massive difference. Medically supervised, completely safe. My energy is great. If you think you need a little help like I did, just go to gamedaymenshealth.com it's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness. Thrilled to tell you about my friends at Turf Monsters Backyard living space. You either have it or you don't. It doesn't matter if you've got a huge yard or a little one. Making outdoor living space a priority is great for you, your home, your pets. The turf they put in looks amazing. 365 days a year they added in a putting green. I have a beautiful backyard space. My dogs love that I love. And the script has been flipped. So if you see your yard as a job, stop it. Go to turf monsters AZ.com say H and get 10 off your vision turfmusters AZ.com sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. It's just the. The John and Brett show. Brady's in Ohio with his mom and Toledo screwed up his own schedule and can't come to work.

[A]

That was on purpose.

[B]

There's no way you'd think it would be on purpose. But he's. He got an Airbnb all the way through Tuesday thinking we had a Monday off after Friday. It doesn't make any sense. Brett, I telling you, after this morning, I am. I'm going to call the Mercury. I'm actually not even going to call him. Just going to bill them. I'm going to put together an invoice and just say, here's what you owe 98 KUPD for all the advertising. And I shouldn't be talking about him as much as I am creating interest in their cruddy product.

[A]

I mean, we're good right now.

[B]

We're. That's good. Yes. I've got. I've got hundred emails over here. Everybody finally says Mercury finally have interest in the game. I can't believe I'll watch now with vested interest because you get a tattoo. If they win at all. All. Don't worry about it. They're not gonna Merc mania. I started Merc Mania. You did. They didn't do it. You still don't know any of their names. If it wasn't for this show, you wouldn't know their coach is called Nate Tibbets.

[A]

I forgot to. I knew it was Nate. I couldn't remember last I remember.

[B]

There's quite a. Quite a lot of money of mine on that question. Tell you that right away. And by the way, to all you bigots who listen to this show, for God's sakes, I must have gotten 12, 15 emails in a row and saying flying taxis in New York. Didn't we already have a problem with Middle Easterners flying stuff around that city? All right, look, they're allowed. Not all of them. Plus they're putting a big rubber ring around the cab so they bounce off buildings. Haven't we already had a problem? Middle Eastern Flag in New York, Every one of them. This guy says, john, you need to get that tattoo in the back of your neck. A tramp step for your head. That way when you become the boy toy for Wilma the Bull, she's putting that trap on it. She has something she loves to look at. I'm not putting it on the back of my neck so my butch lesbian lover can rail me and love the Mercury more. But they're getting an invoice for that too. That's another Mercury mention, Bert. The other thing, before we get into the Brady Report, sans Brady, did you see the Taylor Swift album release in the theaters? Broke, like every record you can break. And again, she wrote a song about Travis Kelsey's we his pee Pee. And it's like she talks about a redwood. And like he's evidently packing her. He's. He's splitting her open.

[A]

Well, you've seen his old girlfriends. Of course he is.

[B]

His old girlfriend is there. Send to me. There's something wrong with Travis Kelce as a person. Because if you go back in his time, he always adapts to the girl he's dating. Dating. We've all had that friend that. He dates a girl, the next thing you know he's wearing like turtlenecks. And then he breaks up with her and starts dating another chick. And he's in a leather jacket cowboy hat. Yeah. He becomes what she wants him to be. I call it the Dapper Dan syndrome. Is that little girls like to take dolls and play dress up. And then they grow up and they get. And they get enough. She's got all the power in the world. I'd play dress up for the money. But she basically is like, you're gonna do this now? Cause if you look at Travis Kelce, he used to like, like thick ass black girls, like big asses. And he wears a big fur coat. And he wear fur coats and like leather jackets that were like from Arsenio's garage sales. I'm not sure where he was getting his clothes, but. And suddenly like now he's just sweaters and slacks and it's weird. And I noticed this weekend she wrote this song about how great his wiener is. And it's like kind of subtext wiener love. And all the girls are giggling. I. I didn't think about this with Travis Kelce. And he's gonna eventually have enough of her, you know what I mean? At some point or not necessarily like permanently, but. And he, she has to look at his history and go, he's susceptible to the fat Ass. And I don't have that. There's a risk. She's got the bank. He needs. That's what he needs to look at. He needs to realize the risk he's running by locking this down. Because he can't screw this up more than any other man in a relationship ever. Travis cannot screw this up.

[A]

Except maybe Stedman.

[B]

Stedman just never got the fame. And people would understand if Stedman stepped out out, don't you think? I don't think people would be that mad at Stedman if he goofed up with Oprah. I don't think it's got Gail, so. I mean that's because she's been, yeah, she's been having like a full on relationship with someone else the entire time. We don't think of Stedman as Oprah's partner. Gail. Travis has an inordinate amount of pressure on him to never upset her because he will become a massive pariah and who. And, and then can never date again because no girl's ever going to want to be the one that followed Taylor Swift. She would then be a target from the Swifties. I think he's, I think this is a mistake and he, I think he's sucked in and there's no getting out of it.

[A]

Then John. Didn't John Mayer go around banging every broad in Hollywood and yeah, he's just fine.

[B]

But that was before Taylor Swift was Taylor Swift. She was a thing. She was a big deal, but not like this. Like she's got an army and you can't piss them off and it dictates what's next. But I worry about Travis Kelsey because the more you see him and the more you know he's that one dude. We all had a friend that whoever he was hanging out with is who he dressed like my buddy Kurt. And it turned out he had some stuff going on mentally. Yeah, he started hanging out with the dude who like country music and Kurt started wearing country music stuff stuff. Started hanging out with us Wranglers and the pockets with arrows in his shirt and like cowboy hats. And then he would hang out with me and he, you know, this was in the early 90s. And the next thing you know he's in, he's dressed like he's a member of Pearl Jam. And then we stopped hanging out for a little while and he started hanging out with this girl and he's in a sweater and paint like then you realize, oh, he's seeking his own identity. She's giving him a, an identity for now. Because you look at him with. Was he dating Saweetie or something like that? Didn't he have some hot.

[A]

He had a couple. I don't know if there's any names in there. Let me look.

[B]

But the girls he was dating were like thick, like. And he was dressed the part. Like he always looked like he was in their entourage. You take current day Travis Kelce and plop him down in one of those. His ex girlfriend group of friends. And he would be like a Mormon missionary. Compared to what?

[A]

There was a page that had all of them.

[B]

Yeah, all the girls that he used to be with. And it's. It's a strange thing. Sorry. I just wrote a thing about her record breaking performance at this deal. It is astronomical what that woman is pulling off. But yeah, he can't. He can't make a mistake. Not even like, you know, cheating, like something small. He can't ever say, I don't want to be with you anymore, Taylor. He'll never. No one will ever like him again. Guys will be fine. We won't care. But we don't care now. The ones that care will ruin his life. Imagine you've got hundreds of millions of bipolar girlfriends at once because that's what he's got. Look at that. There he is with an old girl. Mavis Bent or Maya Benberry. Just curvy, that one. He's in an all blue. Like, it looks like. Like I don't know what that is. Some royal blue suit. Yeah, he's super fly. All these girls he dated were hot black girls with big butts.

[A]

Though. There were more, but these and then these are the big ones.

[B]

Then this.

[A]

Yeah, according to this, it doesn't look like he's dated a white girl in years. Until this.

[B]

This is like what Brady's dealing with with. Brady can't have the food he loves anymore. Eventually he's going to try it again.

[A]

You think so?

[B]

Brady? What do you know him for?

[A]

He's been. He's been holding strong. I'm trying.

[B]

So does Travis with her. Eventually somebody's going to wave some rib meat in front of Brady. And by rib meat, I mean a thick black girl.

[A]

There you go.

[B]

Look at that. He's in his. Yeah, he's is. That is not the guy that's dating Taylor. He cannot make a mistake. And I'm not even talking about drifting. I'm talking about anything he does. And I'm worried. Nobody's his brother needs to talk about it. On that podcast they are. You blink twice if you want out, but can't leave because you're afraid of what will happen to you.

[A]

Swifties.

[B]

The swifties will kill him. If she ends up heartbroken and it's his fault. They'll kill him. Them.

[A]

Well, she's hoarded around quite a bit too.

[B]

He's a lab. Yeah, Swifties love him. But all of hers look the same. They're all about 64. Everybody she's ever dated and she's vengeful, man. What I'm saying is I'm a little. I'm putting about an APB out for Travis Kelce. I'm a little worried about him cuz they'll kill him in their own weird way. Like Travis Kelce will be like poisoned or something. Something. And. Or he'll. He'll have to claim CTE or something. Imagine. This is terrible, but imagine if he and she. Yeah, there's Joe Jonas and her. They dated early. I don't know who that is. Lucas. Till that dude didn't last long. Taylor Lautner. And she has gotten around, I'm telling you.

[A]

And the list goes on.

[B]

Yeah, that guy's gone. He died.

[A]

Oh, did he?

[B]

Yeah, he was on Glee. There's John May. John Mayer just didn't care. I see. John Mayer is the scariest one of the bunch because he's like, I don't care if your fans hate me. And he just moved on. Jake Gyllenhaal. I don't remember any of these people dating her. Yeah, it's Connor Kennedy. I don't know. That is. But bottom line, imagine. Oh my God. Imagine if Travis has cte. Right, because they're blaming that for Mark Sanchez right now. That a CTE is. He didn't take enough hits to get cte. No. Imagine if Travis gets CTE and gets a little handsy with her once. He'll. He'll kill him. Anyway, I'm worried for Travis. His brother needs to step up. We all love Taylor. But are you. Are you sure you want to do this?

[A]

I don't even think Jason could fight off the Swifties.

[B]

You know how when you get married you marry the in laws, you marry the family?

[A]

Oh yeah. Can't pick your family.

[B]

Travis is marrying the Swifties. I worry about it. Everybody's all, you know, everything's rainbows and. And you know, beautiful pictures and sunsets and. I'm telling you, man, I'm worried for him. I'm the only one looking out for Travis. God forbid he gets a little tipsy. Some CTE kicks in and he grabs her by the arms and leaves bruises on that Porcelain. Exactly. I've had it. Could have take care of this myself. I'm a man. And then he grabs her by the arm and that. That skin of hers, that pasty white ass skin that'll bruise real easy. And she'll put those pictures on tmz. And all he did was hold her arm like, oh, and he's a big strong man. Then he's got to go claim cte. I'm going to make a prediction that eventually Travis Kelce just wandering the streets, broke, penniless, crazy, talking to Bug.

[A]

This is gonna be like Steve Martin.

[B]

At the end of the church. He's gonna be exactly removed. My story, okay. I was born a guy who loved fat black chicks. But then telling you, man, keep your eyes open for that. This one I'm right about. I just saw a difference of it this weekend when I'm like, oh, he's in some, like, shirt. She dresses in. Hey, there's something going on.

[A]

How about that suit last week with the shorts on and stuff?

[B]

Come on.

[A]

She's dressing and the floor shine shoes.

[B]

And everything else in the floor shines. Anyway, Brady's not here, but Brett's gonna take over. We call this the Brett report. Oh, the dago news. That's brought to you by All Pro Shade Concepts. Arizona's best patio shades. 20 years of shade means two decades of quality, custom installed patio shades, awnings, and sunscreen. If you want to get that together and get some shade in your backyard, man, it is perfect out this morning. An absolute glorious thing. So the best thing about the shade is if you got a spot, you want to sit out in this beautiful weather, but the sun's right in your eyes and makes it uncomfortable. The shade makes it so you just have a nice place to sit. Doesn't have to lower the temperature every time. It's perfect. Perfect. Walk around. We live in paradise. October reminds us every year. We live in paradise. There's a lot of time to spend outdoors. Don't spend it outside squinting the whole time. All Pro Shade Concepts will help you out immediately. All pro shade.com Brett reported.

[A]

How you doing? Here we go. Let's start off with some basic fun facts for you. Major league baseball had zero no hitters in the 2025 regular season. It's been 20 years since that happened. 2005 was the last time.

[B]

No, it's. That's what, it's Dodgers fault because they had four of them and they quit on all of them.

[A]

Well, it's their. That bullpen just crazy.

[B]

Yeah, the bullpen too. But they had a. They pulled the pitchers.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean sh. Had a no hitter through six. He'd thrown 68 pitches and they pulled him a week earlier. Glass now had 105 pitches.

[A]

Money. They're not. They're not going to strain those arms.

[B]

Come on. Yeah, for the fans. They need to strain those arms.

[A]

Well, it's back like when we talked about or when you mentioned it a while back when Nolan Ryan pitched what.

[B]

200, 235 pitches in a 13 inning game and Louis Tion finished the game. There were no relievers and they pitched three days later. Each of them.

[A]

That's what I hate about nowadays. I mean you get starters that go in four innings. You might as well put the bullpen in playoffs.

[B]

Got rough to watch this weekend because if you had any trouble, you're getting ripped in the first.

[A]

Yeah, you.

[B]

Darvish got pulled in the first second inning. He'd only gotten through one. Yeah, it's weird but yeah. The no hitter things, that's the first time that's happened since when?

[A]

2005 and prior to that it was 1989 was another year with no no hitters.

[B]

Every year we get one. Yeah, no kidding. I would have never. I'd have lost that bad.

[A]

I mean not perfect games but you know, no hitters might walk somebody or something.

[B]

But still. Yeah, I would have assumed those were fewer than annual.

[A]

That's what I was thought to. It didn't become legal. It didn't become leap. This was on Honor Brady's.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Brady's algorithms on Instagram. It didn't become legal to breastfeed in public in every state until 2018 when Utah and Idaho finally passed laws to allow it the Internet.

[B]

We can talk about him because he's not here. Exactly. That's the best you and I looked over his shoulder that day and saw that he was just scrolling over breastfeeding videos.

[A]

Well and that was the whole thing was he's like get you out of my algorithm. He types B and then the breastfeeding things come right up.

[B]

It was the first thing after a B. Yeah. And then when he was showing us he scrolled like through nine videos to get to the one he needed to show us and they were all breastfeeding feeding videos. Our little Brady friend likes that.

[A]

That's his thing that in deformities he doesn't.

[B]

I don't know if he talk.

[A]

I don't know I'm going to lawful lot show up.

[B]

I'm not going to say he doesn't but I don't think he does the breastfeeding thing. He's taking a tug on that.

[A]

That's the same man that got caught in front of the fish tank. So who knows?

[B]

Yeah. Some weird stuff going on in his brain.

[A]

Less than half the cultures in the world actually kiss.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. I'm sure those hillbillies in Alabama and stuff.

[B]

Well, they kiss black teeth. Who were. That's true.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Maybe it is a hygiene thing.

[A]

It's gotta be.

[B]

Did they kiss in India? Oh, well, that's not why I asked. I didn't ask for the racism to follow. It isn't curry to Indians in India. Is that. I'm not saying, like, as a people. It's not the curry bread. It is. Jesus Christ. We've got curry here. And you're right, there's no cab. You know, but it's. I wonder if it's culturally something they do because I don't ever think of them as making out.

[A]

Yeah. I don't know.

[B]

Like here, if you dated an Indian girl, she's gonna make out with you.

[A]

So Indians from India.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Okay. Yeah.

[B]

I don't know. I don't think that. I don't think that's a culture that actually gets it on like that. That I need to hear from someone. Which cultures don't make out? I think you're right. It's just the hygiene issues.

[A]

Let's see who were the. It's not printed in the story. So I got to take Brady side on this at. See if they. I don't know if they'll list it. I don't see it. No, don't.

[B]

Doesn't say like they don't like French kiss or like even just touch lips. Morning sickness medicate. Kupd.

[D]

It's Dick Toledo from homework's morning sickness. For Game Day Men's Health. I did my free consultation with Game Day back in November because I was experiencing a lack of energy and focus. And now with the help of Game Day's board certified staff, I'm looking at peptide and vitamin therapies as well. In a matter of minutes at Game Day's in House lab, a licensed Game Day clinician will draw your blood, run some tests and formulate a plan to help you get back in the game. You can battle the clock of aging. And it starts today at one of the 11 game day men's Health locations in the Valley. Take that first step now@gameday phoenix.com.

[B]

It'S John Holmberg here from the morning sickness. And I'm thrilled to tell you about my friends at Turf Monsters. I got an email from a listener who said he bought a house with a turf backyard. Said the Turf was about 10 years old, maybe older. And he said it flat out stunk, smelled terrible. Turf Monsters went out, did a turf maintenance on it, and fixed it all. If you can think of a backyard dream, they can do it. Sport courts, pergolas, lighting of all kinds, barbecue stuff, hardscape plants. Anything you can think of Turf Monsters can do. Tell them Holmberg sent you. Get 10% off your new dream yard. Turf monsters. Az.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness. Probably the Middle East. I bet you they're not much on kissing those.

[A]

Well, you gotta get through those masks.

[B]

Take off that beekeeper's hat.

[A]

Here's one. I thought this was fake, but dancing was banned at Baylor University in Texas until 1996.

[B]

No kidding.

[A]

Footloose taken. Taken hold until 96.

[B]

96. Like, dances. Baylor didn't have, like, homecomings and stuff. Huh.

[A]

This one's for Brady in honor of. Because I didn't have any food news or anything, but 10 years ago this week, Burger King's Halloween Whoppers were released with the black buns and everything. And that was, well, was taking a different toll on people's poop colors.

[B]

Oh, that's right. It was making everybody's poo like they were going to the hospital and stuff. Worried.

[A]

And also ten years ago, Princess Leia's bikini sold for $96,000.

[B]

The gold one.

[A]

Yeah. And it turned out to be a good investment because just last year it sold for 175k for Carrie Fisher bikini.

[B]

Come on. Was it washed?

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

Because, you know, some weirdo has ruined that. The value is going to start going down. The more dorks from Star wars get their hands on that gold bikini, because that's going to be. Imagine what those nerds are doing to that. Oh, God. No way to treat the memory of Princess Leia.

[A]

No.

[B]

You know, they're doing it, too.

[A]

All right, here's one. Here's one for the fatties. The taco bell 50k. It happened this. This last weekend, and it was a race in Denver, which is actually 31 miles. It included mandatory stops at 10 area Taco Bell, where you had to order and consume Taco Bell while you're on your run.

[B]

But you were running. I was gonna say you're driving or running. You ran.

[A]

You ran 31 miles. Yeah.

[B]

That's more than a marathon.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

And you had to stop at all the Taco Bells along the way, 12, 15 hours.

[A]

Can you imagine running that? Like, just with. Oh, you'll get the Runo supreme and everything just.

[B]

There's running.

[A]

Oh, man. Yeah.

[B]

That was the thing I was most amazed about when I ran marathons. The competitive ones, the Ethiopians and Kenyans, that got to go first because.

[A]

Because nobody.

[B]

They're not in the mix with us. So that, like, they'd finish two hours later, but you'd be running along. The very first marathon. I did the rock and roll marathon here. Running along. And there's poop in the road. Like little tiny rabbit poops and pee. Those dudes don't stop.

[A]

Oh, man.

[B]

Their bodies just let.

[A]

Put the pens on or anything.

[B]

No, they just go. And there was a little like. But it's like little rabbits and that. Because whatever's going on in their bodies, they let go and they eat and dismiss it fast. It's crazy. And the peeing. They just go. They run through it. It's gross.

[A]

I wouldn't want to follow these guys.

[B]

But the Taco Bell. Imagine that.

[A]

Well, the. You had to actually eat the food, too, otherwise you get disqualified. And included a Chalupa supreme or one crunchwrap Supreme. Oh, and one Burrito supreme or Nacho Belgrande by the place. Yes. And you needed to finish the 31 miles within 11 hours and keep all your receipts and wrappers. Drinks do not count as food.

[B]

That is disgusting. And how many people did this? What city was it?

[A]

Denver. Have you seen someone? Yeah, Hippie pigs up there. All right.

[B]

Is there any place you like?

[A]

No.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Phoenix.

[B]

That's right. Yeah. That was well played.

[A]

East of Central Avenue.

[B]

That's right. You don't want to go too crazy. I was in Maryville all day.

[A]

How are you doing?

[B]

Played Grand Canyon University golf course. And the course is very nice. But if I challenge anyone to get through a round of golf at GCU without hearing a siren, you can't. Four in our round yesterday.

[A]

Four good horns, too, on the lowriders going by. And.

[B]

No, but some dude drove by blasting Mexican music. Like he was super excited that Bad Bunny hosted SNL the night before or something. But it was loud. Peso Pluma was. Yeah, there was a lot, but. Yeah, you can't get through that. Not here. Sire, four is my record, and I've only been there once.

[A]

Jesus. All right, well, there's. They. They put together a list of the states with the most and least gold diggers in. It doesn't say. I think it's in order, but I'm not Sure.

[B]

Least has to be like West Virginia in Mississippi, because they don't have any. Well, Mississippi's got some millionaires.

[A]

Not on the.

[B]

It's hard to dig gold. And like, you're a coal digger.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Why did that sound so bad?

[A]

I'm laughing at it.

[B]

So, you know, it's gotta be like, even to me, I had a Brett moment with that one. Like, that sounds terrible.

[A]

It's. It's a lot of the. You know, the first on the list was Vermont. With the least amount.

[B]

Least. Well, because everybody's rich already.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Right. Okay.

[A]

Nebraska, Montana, Wyoming.

[B]

Hard to find millionaires.

[A]

Yeah. Maine, South Dakota, Alaska, Iowa.

[B]

Like Utah would be up there too. Idaho.

[A]

Mormon money.

[B]

Yeah, but they got money, but you can't dig for it. You know what I mean? They're looking for a specific type of gal.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And usually everybody's coming for money. Idaho. Mormons don't drift over to the ghetto and grab a lake. They stay within their own.

[A]

And the. And the state said supposedly has the most gold diggers, which you can kind of figure that most of them. Florida got that whole Miami thing down there. Nevada, Texas, California, New York, Colorado. For some reason, I think the hippies were that much gold diggers.

[B]

Yeah. They got a lot of money in.

[A]

Colorado, Georgia, Tennessee, Maryland. And there you go. Indiana.

[B]

Indiana. Well, hell, that is true, because northwestern Indiana, you get close to Chicago and you start getting all those farms and stuff. Oprah lives up there. So there is some money that kind of escapes. And what is like the. Like gold digging in Indiana is. I make eleven hundred dollars a year, so if I meet somebody who makes 35,000, it's like I'm marrying a Rockefeller.

[A]

Are you looking for the biggest meth dealer around, or is that how that goes?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

A truck and trailer in Canada was stolen a week ago and was packed with $35,000 worth of SAL Salsa. It's unclear if the thieves were targeting it just for the salsa or they were looking for something more valuable. That's. Where's Brady at again?

[B]

Yeah. No kidding. Has he come back with a new truck? I got us some salsa. It's good.

[A]

Problems is, it's. They. They got nowhere to unload $35,000 worth of salsa.

[B]

Friend of mine said this to me the other day. Day. And he's right. How can we pay for salsa everywhere but at restaurants?

[A]

Yeah, I don't know.

[B]

Salsa's free everywhere. Well, except the store.

[A]

I think they want you eating those salty chips and everything, so you're ordering more beer.

[B]

That's True. You know, but still free across the board. Everywhere you go. You want some sauce with it. Here, it's free always. But we pay for sals. And it's not like a little dab like catch.

[A]

Oh, it's a. It's a bowl.

[B]

You get a bowl of it and you get as much as you want. Forever and ever. You go to the store. It's like $14 for a thing of salsa.

[A]

Busch Light is currently running. I don't get this one. Running a campaign where they're encouraging consumers to legally change their name to Hunter. One lucky person will score themselves 19 years worth of bush beer get.

[B]

Just for changing name to.

[A]

Changing name to Hunter.

[B]

Why?

[A]

I don't know why Hunter. It doesn't say that. I don't know.

[B]

Bush Hunter. No, no.

[A]

And Hunter's not even a hillbilly name. I don't get it.

[B]

No, it's kind of a. An annoying Gilbert kid name. Yeah, that's like one of the goons would be called Hunter. Hunter Talon. Talon Hunter Braden. Yeah. Spilling with like schwas and stuff.

[A]

And we'll end with some good news here. A dog in Canada made it into the Purina hall of Fame after fighting off a grizzly bear and saving his owner's life. 70 year old Craig Campbell was hiking with his 10 year old Doberman named Knight last year when they crossed paths with a mama bear and two cubs. Knight fought it off long enough for Craig to grab the can of bear spray that he had with him and basically f the bear up.

[B]

Hold on a second. You had to wait till the dog was in a fight and you had bear spray.

[A]

I don't know where his bear spray was. I mean, you would think if you're going for a hike, you have it in your hand.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

At least on your belt you're holstered up.

[B]

You're getting your backpack. Right. What's the point of bear spraying your backpack? It's like those people that carry guns, but they're not loaded and they've got a magazine in their pocket and the gun in the back. You're not getting to that. Like a gun safe. Never. Bear spray has to be out when you're in bear country.

[A]

Stupid.

[B]

And the dog got into the. And by the way, the dog didn't save that dude's life. The dog saved. Saved that dog's life. Right, Dumbass. You have bear spray and I've got to fight a bear.

[A]

The dog probably bit him afterwards.

[B]

You son of a. I would immediately name that dog Mark Sanchez.

[A]

And here's another one that. Because you always seem to come in, like, in. You know, like, when wintertime hits or something and reaching your pockets. Hey, I found a 20. Hey, I found it. You know. Yeah. A woman in Virginia was cleaning out her closet, found a bunch of lottery tickets and some old clothes that she forgot she scratched off, and one of them hit for 100 grand. Grand?

[B]

What?

[A]

Yeah. Your twenties are nothing compared to what this broad found.

[B]

But my laundry, I had the most. The biggest hit I've ever had on a laundry day was a coat I had 300 in. I'd forgotten.

[A]

Oh, nice.

[B]

That was a nice one.

[A]

I think. I think I hit for 40 or something. Yeah. You grab that jacket, you know, that you haven't worn in six months, it's like, oh.

[B]

But you feel like it was a win, but technically you lost.

[A]

That was your money anyway. Yeah.

[B]

It's not like some money fairy drops it in your winter coat. Yeah, my winter coat's always, always. I did it for a while there, where I put money in there on purpose and then try to forget it was there. But then I couldn't, so I never had cash. I just go into the winter coat. So it stopped being a thing because I was so excited when I reached in and found the money. But I don't think I've worn a winter coat in 10 years, so maybe there is money in one of mine. I don't know. All right, Brett, what do you got for videos? Okay.

[A]

I didn't have a chance to. We're just gonna go through these.

[B]

We're going blind.

[A]

Yeah. I don't have a chance to read Jesus. Everything being a little crazy with Brady going there, so.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

All right, this one is.

[B]

Oh, boy.

[A]

It's titled, like, Nickelodeon slime.

[B]

Oh, all right.

[A]

And these were from Friday since we were off, so these may be a little heavy.

[B]

All right, let's see what these go. All right, here's a lady. Oh, my God. Oh, what is it? There's a Asian sort of woman. Oh, God.

[A]

Try to explain this.

[B]

I'm trying. I don't know what's going on. How do I explain what I don't understand? All right. She is performing orally on another Asian. And it's not pixelated? Unfortunately, no. And underneath these people who are having the act of love performed in their mouths, a mouth hug, is another woman with her mouth wide open. And you think that the guy is going to do something to both of them, but turns out the one performing the deep throating is throwing up green slime and coating the one underneath them while she's eating, she's being gagged.

[A]

It's like she's drinking a Midori Sour beforehand.

[B]

Larry looks like when he's drunk, I mean, he doesn't have a wiener in his mouth. I don't know. It depends on how drunk he gets. We know. Yeah. I think this happens to anybody who drinks too much Midori Sour. End up with a wiener in your mouth, and you're throwing up all over an Asian girl.

[A]

Oh, all right.

[B]

That was horrible.

[A]

This one says, like, a cave echo, but you got to listen close.

[B]

What are you grossed out more by, like, when people do pee and poo or puke?

[A]

Pee and poop.

[B]

You think the pee and poop's worse? Some reason that, like, the puke makes me. Because I've tasted puke.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I know what that would be like coming into your mouth, but I don't know. Like, I can't even grasp the taste of poo.

[A]

That's what I'm saying. I don't want to either. I mean, everybody's puked, so I already know. Yeah.

[B]

How bad?

[A]

It's bad.

[B]

Somebody else vomiting in my mouth would be.

[A]

Somebody take a dump over you.

[B]

I just don't know. Maybe it's good. I don't know. Maybe. Hey, Cereal. We've been to Cereal Together.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

And I'm pretty sure that's on another level. I might have reached in and had that meal again.

[A]

That was on another level, though.

[B]

Brett and I went to dinner once, a place called Cereal in Vegas, and we both had movements within the proper time together to evacuate the cereal from our bodies. Both of us talked about how our poop smelled just like the meal we ate.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

I would have considered.

[A]

I would have thought about it. Yeah. I opened the door. I didn't even turn the fan on in there. I wanted a lot in it. It was amazing.

[B]

I wanted it in the whole house. It was amazing. Amazing. But vomit. I've never vomited and gone. That's nice.

[A]

No, that's true. But.

[B]

So when I see these, I get weirded out, like, thinking, I know what that tastes like. I don't have a. I don't have a concept.

[A]

Cereal may be a different level, though, because you. You wind up with somebody that just got done at a carne Sada burrito, you know, Roberto's or something. It's like, all right, I'm out.

[B]

Point made. None of it's good. I'm just saying. What. All right, go ahead. Next one. We're.

[A]

Here we go.

[B]

All Right. The lady with one of those speculums that has her. Her lady bits opened up. You could. You could put a football in there. She's.

[A]

Microphone.

[B]

What is that? Is it a microphone? She's putting a microphone all the way. And I've never seen anything like this. What is that? Is that her urethra? I. This thing's a football. Could go in this. It's being opened up by the tool and then she's thicken like a. Oh, my God. This is. She's got some sort of tube in there. That's it. She looks like Cindy Crawford with huge nipples. Oh, my God. Is that a Phillips head screwdriver? But it looks like a little like. I don't know. It looks like an eyeless baby. What is that?

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

Is that what we're going into? I'm gay.

[A]

Yeah, I'm with you on that one.

[B]

That's what it looks like on the inside.

[A]

Apparently.

[B]

I'm gay.

[A]

I'm not digging deeper.

[B]

I'm gay. I never want to look in there again.

[A]

Oh, well, here you go. This is what we were talking about earlier.

[B]

Okay, here's somebody pooped and he. Is that a sink?

[A]

Looks like a urinal.

[B]

A urinal. And now somebody pooped in the urinal and has now scooped it out, putting it in the trash. Oh, this is not going to be good. It's a little sanitation worker. Oh, he's dry. Even the whole time he's dry. It made this little Asian. The poor little dude had to clean poop out of a urinal and some friend filmed it. All right.

[A]

We'Ll just.

[B]

Still awful. What is. Lord, this lady is so limber. She has her own foot in her butt.

[A]

And there's a rosebud too.

[B]

Oh, my God. Oh. Oh, my God.

[A]

I'm saving this for Brady.

[B]

Her ankle is like gum. She can put her toes in her butt. Oh, the rosebud. She's rubbing it with her foot. Oh. And then back in goes. Look at how damaged the. Oh. Now she took her clean that one foot out of her pot and put it in her mouth. All right, Play by play. Oh, all right. She's play by play putting her toes in her butt. And keep in mind, the thing up top is doing all sorts of stuff, too. Rewind that a little bit, Brett. Watch this. When she puts her foot in her butt, it puts pressure on her lady bits and they, like, start to birth something, and that goes back in. And then she takes her foot, she rubs her rosebud, which is with her Foot about the size of a softball hanging out of there. Then she put her foot back and she. You know what the best part about this lady is? Is that she tattooed her ankle, like, so it's. Oh, God. And then she opens her B hole.

[A]

Then she rubs it with her foot.

[B]

Look, she's got, like, an ankle bracelet. And she accessorizes that. And she's smiling like people. And then she put her whole mouth in her. Or her foot in her mouth.

[A]

We're done. We're ending there. That could be a top ten er, though.

[B]

That's got some. That's got some legs guarding the pond. Come on.

[A]

All right, that's it. I'm not going any farther. Now we're done.

[B]

I've confused Kevin Cyverson. He says you just said the phrase. It's more confusing than ever. She looks like Cindy Crawford but with huge nipples. And I don't know if that's hot or not. Sort of. Good Lord. I've never, like, I challenge anyone to try to touch their butt with their toes. You're thinking about it. Like, how would you even do it? Your chair broke. Oh, what in the world is going on?

[A]

What the hell is this world coming.

[B]

You people out there. I'm gonna go home and smack all your mamas. You don't have mothers. You don't have parents. You're all raised in swamps. There you go. He's not here for it. But that's your Brady report. It's 98. Hey, it's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee. I have heard it. Enough of this. It's John Holmer here from the morning sickness. And it's time to talk about TV's Doug Hopkins of my home group and dough hopkins dot com. Sometimes Doug Hopkins can be a savior for people in bad situations. Doug's there to help, and the process will go fast. Cash offer for your home as is, no matter the circumstances. And a straight offer. The deal's done. Doug doesn't change that offer or cancel because of contingencies or any other reason. And he'll back it up with a 5,000 guarantee. You can start the process online at Doug Hopkins.com or grab that phone and sing along sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil. Sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. That's the nin. They're coming back again. You just saw them. And they just announced that they will be back. In town here in March, Is that right?

[A]

I believe so.

[B]

March 6 at Desert Diamond Arena. You saw them downtown? Yeah. So they're gonna go out to the West Valley now?

[A]

I guess. I don't know.

[B]

Why? Doesn't seem like it.

[A]

Why would you go out there?

[B]

Well, you saw them downtown.

[A]

You're good.

[B]

That arena is awesome for concerts. Desert or Desert Diamond?

[A]

Yeah, I know, but I mean, I'll be out there this week because that's Breaking Benjamin. Three Days Grace are gonna be out there?

[B]

Is that what that is? Yeah.

[A]

So I'll be out there for that.

[B]

But there's some stuff. Stuff.

[A]

Nine Inch Nails was just here. I don't need to, you know.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Two weeks ago.

[B]

Yeah. It seems like they're pulling a seven dust on us here in seven or eight months between shows. It's supposed to be a great show. I missed the first one, so I might go to that. By the way, as much as we've given for a Mercury attention this year, and I've got a lot of emails because I've. I've placed a bet that I would get a tattoo if they won the finals. And that was before this weekend where they crapped out two losses, and now the mercury are down O2. And I this morning made the proclamation that I will not only get a tattoo, it will be on the crown of my head. A Mercury tattoo right on top of my head. If they win four of the next five games, which won't happen, Bert. I guess four of the next. What would it be? Yeah, four of the next five. Oh, four.

[A]

Red Sox.

[B]

No, it can't happen. It just can't. Women aren't that consistent. It can't be done. There'll be some fighting. They're down. Oh, two. They're already kind of mad at each other. And then the. Once the wheels start to get a little shaky in game three, it's gonna go. And the aces are flying high. They're beating up other chicks, and they're beating. It's. This is a five games max.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I'm about to make another one.

[A]

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[B]

I'm about to go again. Stop me before I go again, because I'm about to predict something. Oh, I better be quiet. I don't know. I better be.

[A]

Go ahead. Come on.

[B]

Let's, you know, turn into Chris Collinsworth. I don't know, Mike. I don't know. Go. Ah. I'm trying. I'm trying to think of a five. I say it'd be over in five games. Then I get the tag, but I'm just going to keep it where it is.

[A]

Yeah, don't, don't.

[B]

I'm not going to move around. I'm not going to get that. But as much as we do for the Mercury and telling people about that being in Mercury, you. You people should be. Yeah, you people should be giving us money. We are the only place covering your fine finals. Not. Not like that. We like it, but we're the only place talking about the stupid Mercury finals. What are the only ones that have made it interesting to the general public, to the masses, to the 99 that don't care about your sport? I'm making it fun. They're gonna watch some of the game or at least pay attention to the end result. Did somebody just crash into the building? What was that? I don't know if anybody heard that on the air, but I think somebody just ran into our building. It happens. But I am. Yeah, I am talking to the 99% that don't care. They're going to pay attention to the end results because of the tattoo. I'm willing to put on my head if a silly little thing goes.

[A]

What are you trying to do? I mean, you're. You're. You're grandstanding on this. You want. You want a suite or do you want, like, floor seats or something for this?

[B]

I want them to just say.

[A]

I just want to acknowledge.

[B]

I want them to go, thanks, John, for giving the WNBA all that attention. I need them to acknowledge that I am. I am the spokesperson. I am this. I am the mouthpiece of the WNBA in this city. Nobody else is talking about.

[A]

You're proud of this. What is wrong with you?

[B]

Well, as much as we do for them, we also need to get Dr. Lynn and we need to have a giant vasectomy party for all the people we've pushed to get vasectomies, because another one comes in and says, ready to go. Time for mine. How do I find this Dr. Lynn?

[A]

Lynn.

[B]

Lynn or Lynn. He spelled it a bunch of different ways. Sun, sunrise, urology. Go get it clipped up. So. And do it. Just a glorious thing to do to your body. And Dr. Lynn is like, oh, I got so many people from kopd. Like, yeah, you do. You're welcome.

[A]

Speaking of kickbacks, we didn't get any.

[B]

No, we're our kick full price. We've had you for five years. I've got no kickbacks. Not one cigarette truck has shown up with extra for me. And then all the other emails. Man, oh, man, a Cardinal fans losing their Minds.

[A]

Can't blame them.

[B]

This says John. That's it. I can't support this team anymore. That game absolutely broke me. Biggest display of garbage football I've ever seen. A complete lack of fundamentals. I've tried to be a fan since they got here. Today's disgrace was the last straw for me. It's the worst half of football I have ever seen. I have to switch teams. I can't root for laundry anymore. When there's no heart in it that the players are wearing the laundry, why do I care? I'm disgusted. It's true. Eric's right. Donovan said, My 7 year old was watching the game, saw the score at the beginning of the fourth quarter and said, oh, they're going to win this definitely. And I had to explain to her, never underestimate the Cardinals ability to lose. And man, did they find ways. Dude on the two yard line about to march it in in the fourth quarter. 28 to 6. Is that right? Yeah. 28 to 6 and just drops the ball. Starts to celebrate.

[A]

So glad I didn't watch that game.

[B]

Titans pick it up. Go 80 yards. Touchdown. Get the ball back. Throw an interception. Dude gets the ball punched out of his hand, goes into the end zone. Another touch. That wasn't bad luck. It was just bad play. So true. True. Nate says, John, I wouldn't have known the finals were even happening if it wasn't for you. You are the only one covering it. Nice work. You gave me mercury poisoning. That's what I like.

[A]

That mercury mouthpiece of the Phoenix Mercury. John Hol.

[B]

I am the spokesperson for your. You want to know Mercury basketball? Come to me. I'll tell you all about it. And I'll be honest. It's terrible. But I watch, so you don't have to. You know what I am, Brett? I'm Jesus Christ of the wnba. That's right. I am the Lord and Savior. I am taking on all the sins of that league so you don't have to. I am Lord Christ of girl basketball. I can fix it.

[A]

I can fix it.

[B]

I can fix.

[A]

How can you fix this product?

[B]

I can fix girls basketball.

[A]

How can you fix this problem?

[B]

3 on 3, shorter court, lower the rims. It's fixed. And shut up. Also, don't interview him after games. Like don't make that a normal thing.

[A]

That could be said about Lamar Jackson too.

[B]

Oh, absolutely. It's not. Look, that's not universal. Just wnba. But right away you're not making it. You don't have it. There's a couple of girls that should always talk on behalf of the whole team. You shouldn't want all them talking. There's a lot of them wrecking it. The guy who lives in Vegas who has to do security for the WNBA says, I forgot to mention you. Guys. Guys, we did have a security briefing on what to do if green dildos were thrown on the court. Security had a special towel to throw over the dildo, and everyone was told not to kick it off the court. I had trouble keeping a straight face in that meeting. Yeah, that's a tough one to sit there.

[A]

So everybody's like a ref. They got their towels in their pockets and stuff. Oh, come on.

[B]

And this one says, Taylor Swift is going to get a BBL dancer. Or she's going to get a BBL in the next year for herself. Or so he's calling it now. He thinks she's going to get a Brazilian boy butt lift. I don't see Taylor altering her body for Travis.

[A]

I don't think so. She. She don't need to.

[B]

You know what I would see, though? Travis getting a bbl. If Taylor told him to, Travis would.

[A]

Do whatever she told him.

[B]

That's what I'm thinking. Yeah, I'm definitely thinking that. I've gotten a few people asking me about this, too. Said, are you hosting a Night of the Singing Dead this year? How do I get tickets? I've been checking Copper Blue's website. They're not for sale yet. It is happening October 31st at the Desert Room Ridge. She said, I love coming to this show every year. Best regards, Leanne. Don't worry, Leanne. We're doing it again October 31st. It's actually on Halloween this year. Big Halloween party at Desert Ridge. We'll get on that. And I'm excited for that. Brett, are you ready to try something? I think I have a game. Can Brett do it? This isn't about laughing. I'm gonna. Right now. I'm gonna. This is not a contest, Bob. Up in Chicago and Minnesota, calm the. Calm the down Knob radio executives. I'm making a bet with Brett on the air.

[A]

Can we do that?

[B]

I don't care. $1,000, Brett. $1,000. Let me get to this beforehand.

[A]

All right.

[B]

A thousand bucks. If when I give you the paper, you read the words circled. Perfect. Quickly, circle without laughing.

[A]

It's easy.

[B]

Okay. Without. Not circle, the word circled. Oh, okay. I can say circle. First off, everyone knows this already. All your kids are stupid. All of them are stupid. You all think you've got a special one, and you don't they're all kind of dumb. You have to make sure they don't walk off into traffic. They're all stupid. Unless. Well, let me just put it this way. All you Gilbert parents, all you white parents have. You've got nothing but dumb kids. There aren't any smart ones.

[A]

You mean the Talons aren't.

[B]

Talons aren't smart. Hannah's aren't smart.

[A]

Braden, Cadence.

[B]

They have special skills, but they're not smart. And I'll say this, and I can back it up, because here in. Here in Arizona, we should be celebrating one of our own. He's 13 years old. He's 13 years old and he is being acknowledged as a top student, named one of the top 300 junior innovators nationwide. And you know what he's into? He did a project that was called exploring the interplay between Earth's magnetic field, solar activity, climate variability, and human settlements. He's 13. And then you asked him like, hey, what'd you find? He goes, what did I conclude? And I'll do it like he did. What did I conclude? Well, first, solar activity shows more pronounced correlation with El Nino La Nina activity, specifically with El Nino events following solar maxima, typically by a year or so. My second conclusion is that geomagnetic field variations actually impact and affect our upper atmospheric wind path. Now look at your 13 year old kid. And if he doesn't start the next sentence with bruh, take me to Chick Fil A. You're. You've raised idiots. Now I have to get the music together for this one. Brett, for $1,000.

[A]

Oh, man.

[B]

Without laughing, stumbling, or screwing up at all, say this young man's name. Good luck, Brad.

[A]

Hang on.

[B]

Now go.

[A]

As Shay.

[B]

Lax. No, it is. He didn't make it. He didn't make it.

[A]

Akshay Lax. That's not a word.

[B]

It's a word already.

[A]

It's not a word.

[B]

Try again for $30. It's dropping every time I go. $100 right now. Go.

[A]

I'm gonna owe you by the time this is done.

[B]

I'll give you a hundred dollars. Try it again. Go.

[A]

Akshay. Lakshmi.

[B]

That's. That's Akshay. $90.

[A]

Akshay. That's right. Okay, Lakshmira.

[B]

$80. I don't know this.

[A]

That's not a word.

[B]

Indians enough. That's not a word. The reason their kids are so smart is cuz they've got to wrestle the Alphabet every day just to write their own names down.

[A]

How do you spell it then?

[B]

How do I Spell, I guess. Can't spell it. Akshay. Lash. Mina Ra. Simahan. That's pretty good.

[A]

That's ceiling.

[B]

No way. That's Aksha.

[A]

That's ceiling.

[B]

Tiles. Locks. Locks. Lakshmiraziman.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

Lockshmid. Shm. Should never be together like that. Kshm. That's just. That's Alpha Bits. I'm eating soup.

[A]

Yeah, somebody's just throwing them in there.

[B]

Come on, Akshay. Black Minarasima. That's pretty good. Sure, that was pretty good. But, yeah, come on, Indians. Enough. The reason their kids are so goddamn smart is because they gotta wake up and learn that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I was five before I could spell John with any sort of reasonable, you know, consistency with the letters.

[A]

All going the right way.

[B]

Oh, sometimes, yeah. Prior to that, the A was a crapshoot. Could be upside down, it could be backwards. But Akshay had to fight. All the letters in the Alphabet. One, two.

[A]

How many are there?

[B]

23. He's three shy of the whole Alphabet being his name.

[A]

And I think they used every letter in there.

[B]

All but Z. No, there's a lot of A's. Right? Like this thing. 23 letters. And that's before you get to his middle name, Akshay Lakshmiras. And plus. And that's why he's, like, interested in exploring the interplay between Earth's magnetic field, solar activity, climate variability, and human settlements.

[A]

But if that don't work out, he'd be Kevin from Discover Car. No problem.

[B]

We all know how it ends. He's either gonna be your doctor or he's gonna chase you down for your Discover payment.

[A]

Hello, my friend.

[B]

Do you want to explore the interplay between you paying and not paying? Build. Akshay, excellent work. And to all your dumb kids. I was. I was. I don't know if I told this on the air, but I told you guys, I was in the car with Jen the other day going to a work function. She's got two daughters and a son. And admittedly, she knows her son isn't not that bright. He just looks like a lunkhead. You know, he's going to be a monster. He's going to be a millionaire. Because he's. Yeah, he's just one of those. But the daughters are, you know, normal. And the one called up while we're in the car because we had to go to a work event, and she was driving, and the daughter called up and said, where is everybody? She was home and no one was home. And she goes, oh, your dad went out to get food. And then. So while she Said your dad went out to get food. The kid just goes, I'll have a grilled chicken sandwich. Like she started to order and she goes, first off, not your dad. Second, not an ordering thing. Like call him. And then the daughter just went, bro. Oh, like she called you bro. She goes, that's all she calls me. Keep in mind, I bet you Akshay Lakshmirena Hana never called his parents bro. He's too busy trying to figure out geomagnetic fields and stuff. I don't even know what this is.

[A]

I'm sorry, my friend.

[B]

Bro, I was actually reading a couple of different views on the new on how the north Magnetic North Pole is actually shifting from Canada all the way to Siberia. And that's at an unpredictable pace. So is this intrigued me. He's 13. If you've got a daughter right now, 12, 13 years old, start encouraging her to nail the Indian kids because they're all going to be doctors and they're all going to be wealthy scientists. Do not bang a Talon, a Hayden, a Kadin, any of them. Because they're not going to amount to anything.

[A]

So teach her to cook with curry then.

[B]

Yeah, start that. Yes, exactly. Brad, excellent point. Start teaching that daughter here some valuable skills. Start dressing her up in like weird fabric curtains and make her look like a paisley couch broke. Yeah, or like she, you know, she got lost and all her clothes were stolen. So she found the first thing she could find and wrapped herself in it. And then build the. Build a kitchen with a lot of vents.

[A]

Oh yeah.

[B]

Oh yeah. Got to have a lot of vents or your whole house is going to smell like stew. And teach that girl how to cook properly.

[A]

Actually, just call all pro shade and build an outside kitchen.

[B]

That's a good idea.

[A]

No.

[B]

There it is.

[A]

Do yourself a favor.

[B]

So then when Akshay and his family come over to approve whether or not your daughter is part of this arrangement. Cuz that's how they work it. And Akshay, today I found the girl of my dreams. And she has really made me very excited to explore interplay between Earth's magnetic field, solar activity and my boat there. This kid is 13. There's nobody. There's no. Come on.

[A]

I'm in my 50s and I can't even spell his name.

[B]

This is the. By the way, the first time I've ever heard the phrase Solar maxima.

[A]

He.

[B]

A 13 year old taught me what that was. It's the height of the Sun's 11 year cycle, whatever that means. I don't know what any of that means. But this kid's amazing. And. And. And the people who keep. He needs a nickname like Loxy or something like that. Cuz this every time you go to another part of the office article. Sorry, Brett, your game's over. I gotta turn the music off. I forgot. Lakshmirana Semahan said being chosen one of 300 innovators in the United States allowed him to meet other like minded kids with whom he could work in the future. And then he said, quote, it feels really nice because one, I get to be part of a greater scientific alumni network. 13, I get a bunch of different friends that I can collaborate on future. Potentially do different group projects with these different friends. It opens up so many different opportunities for me in the future. Except getting laid. Loxy, we gotta get you off this a little bit. Indian parents, break it down a little. When you see your kids working too much on the. On the magnetic fields of the planet, what do you say we go to a strip club? What you talking about, father? I'm very busy working on the interplay between Earth's magnetic field. No, no, no, no, no. We need to go out and see some. That's what we need.

[A]

Need this.

[B]

Let him be.

[A]

This lady just wrote him. My son's name is Hunter. I'm not a Gilbert, mom, but he's going to be a nuclear engineer.

[B]

Is he? Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Does he call you bro? I bet he does. Hunters all call people bruh. Bruh. Has he ever hung up the phone with you and said 6767 bruh bruh.

[A]

Jeff just said you guys did a whole lot better with that name than Jim and Ladonna did this morning.

[B]

Did they try to. Well, they're not real news people like we are. Akshay. I have no clue, man. Lakshminarasiman. But that's how everyone says your name. And then he'll go, no, no, it's Lakshmi. You have to say none. No. Well, you got to mix it up here. Indians and you know, I'm talking. Not the guardian ones, the. The dots. Let's stop naming our kids crazy. It's. It's at least the Kevin. Yeah, at least the. The Vietnamese and the Koreans. And the people came over, all called themselves Chris when they got here. And all the people at Discover Card are decent enough to call themselves Kevin.

[A]

Sounds like you're trying to read an R word. Pokemon's name.

[B]

He knew our word, man. He is already smarter than all of us listening. And Hunter, the Gilbert nuclear physicist is going to be working for Akshmir. Akshmi. Like Ashmihan or Hamasahan. Come on. That's why they're so smart. So start naming your kids, like, 17 letter first names. Let them wrestle with that Alphabet, and their brains will work real hard as babies. My name's John. My parents made it easy for me, and I'm not bright.

[A]

They knew better.

[B]

There's a reason you're Brett.

[A]

Yeah. Four letters.

[B]

The only thing they did for stretching Brady was they named him David and called him Brady because David was too hard.

[A]

Anyway, this guy. Oh, Frenchie said we should put that name in Google and see if I can pronounce it.

[B]

Go ahead.

[A]

All right, give me a little thing. There's no way I'm going to attempt to spell it.

[B]

What will Google say? Can you do that? You can just type it in and have it verbally say the thing.

[A]

Give me a second.

[B]

I bet you Google's gonna be like oxmay. Ah. What the is this? Yeah, it's nuts. You have too many letters in your name. But, I mean, I don't like it. Look at your 13 year old today and just give it a whack. Indian kids running right past him. I don't think I've ever met a dumb Indian kid, and I haven't met a lot of them, but I think I've ever met a dumb one. And the ones that they consider dumb are, like, lawyers. Like, they didn't make it to doctor. They just almost got to something. He's not a surgeon. He's a medical technician. It's like, oh, he's such an embarrassment to the whole family. I wish you'd have just done drugs. But it's. It's gonna do it.

[A]

I'm trying to figure it out here.

[B]

I don't know how to say it. I don't know how the computer's gonna do. I don't know how to type that. That in. Anyway, if you've got an Indian or if you're going to adopt those people that are adopting. Why would you adopt a white one? Get one of those Indian ones. It's. It shows up with brains and don't change its name. Like, if your last name's Taylor or something, don't. Don't change its name to Scott. We've already got one of those.

[A]

Well, there's. It has 24 pronunciations, apparently, but here's one of them.

[B]

All right, here we go. Lakshmi Narazimin. What?

[A]

Yeah, here's another one.

[B]

Lakshmi Narasimh.

[A]

Okay, I was pretty close.

[B]

Lakshmi Narasimh. Lakshmi. Lakshmi Narasimh. Genius. Is what that means in whatever language he speaks. Just English, but he's American. But the name is automatically going to get dismissed. That cultures of. They raised some smart kids. Kids. And there's billions of them. But you wrestle with 26 letters a day. You write your name down and have it take about a minute and tell me you're not going to work a little bit more diligently through all the easy words.

[A]

There's 23 letters in that thing.

[B]

Yeah. When your name's the hardest thing you do all day, everything else seems easy. You're just going to learn faster. Start naming your white kids stuff that takes forever. Not Talon. And, you know, stupid stuff like that. Don't try to make them cool. Straight out of the box, Breham. They should all be. Hit the button again. They should all be named this. Lami Narazimin. Thomas. That's it. Jefferson. Like all of them should have the first name. I'm hearing it, and I can't say it.

[A]

No.

[B]

Lakshmi Herman. No. What? Lakshmi Narasimh. Lakshmi Narasimha. I think I got it.

[A]

That.

[B]

Anyway, congratulations, kid. You're one of Arizona's finest. And there's 300 others just like him. Thirteen. Brett.

[A]

No, thanks.

[B]

I mean, it's dumb to sit back and go, when I was 13, I'm retarded compared to him now I'm 53. He's. I got him by 40 years. And this kid is leaps and bounds ahead of me in the smarts department, and I can't even say his name. That's nothing to him. He's doing the high jump, and I'm crawling. Lakshmi Harris. Lakshmi Nerisamin. Close. I got nothing. I'm too stupid to say a name. I just heard. It's like if somebody said, what's your name? Brett. No. Brett Burgil. No. Lakshmi Narasimh. Lakshmi Narasimh. I've got it now. Lakshmi Narazim. And he would correct me. No, no, no, no, no. It's Lakshmi. Narrative. Lakshmi Narasimh. Lakshmi Narasimh. Lakshmi rarisiman. I am 13. And I'm hardly pissing you off because you have the IQ of our Lakshmi Narasimh. You're a very dumb man. Very, very, very dumb man. Thanks, Lakshmi. And congratulations to the parents, Mr. And Mrs. Lakshmi, for raising a brilliant 13. Lakshmi Nerizemin. I look forward to him telling me all about the concierge program at American Express. Whatever. No, no, no, no, no, my friend, you can get so much more from the concierge program. At the Platinum Club Memberships. You can go to the Centurion Lounge. Weren't you the kid who, like, tried to fix the earth's axis? Oh, yes. Things did not work out for me. People hated saying my name so they would not hire me. I can do it. You didn't do it. Thousand dollars is waiting.

[A]

I know.

[B]

Nice try. Lakshmi Narasimh. Yeah, they're not wasting their time.

[A]

Save that for Brady.

[B]

Yeah, they're not wasting their time going to homecomings and Dayton broads. They're just reading Lakshmi Narasimh. Oh, Brady, would we. He's already through enough this year. You want him to have an official stroke? We'll put that on. We got what would Brett do? Oh, no. Coming up in just moments. It's 98. Hey, it's not weird. It's pretty co. No membership fee. I've heard enough of this. It's John Holmer here. Time to talk about TV's Doug Hopkins of my home group and doughns.com. i just sat down with TV's Doug Hopkins and we did some TV commercials while we're watching football. So you get to see me sit next to Doug and somehow or another make Doug look pretty. And I'm happy to do it, too. I bought and sold houses using Doug Hopkins. So I've been through the process, and he's the real deal. He is not going to cancel or change the game with fine print. Continue agencies, simple cash offer and the deal is done. Start the process [e-mail] or grab the phone and sing. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil. Sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. And Toledo's texting us from the grave, for God's sakes, telling us you're late. Oh, we're late. You're not even here. You're late. You're showing up for work today, tomorrow morning. He's not wrong.

[A]

That's what happens when he's not here.

[B]

By the way, Kyle makes a great point about. What's his name? Lakshmania Hoover.

[A]

His name is.

[B]

You've got it right.

[A]

Yeah, I got his name here.

[B]

Lakshmi Narasimh. That's right. We have a caller named Missy who wants to try. Let's see. Can you say his name? We go to the phone. That's it. Yeah, that's. She's nailing. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, that's right. That's right. Thank you, missy. Guy says, john, you treat. You say that that kid's. They're gonna have trouble getting laid. There's 1.3 billion Indians. I don't think getting laid's one of their issues. That's a good point. They're banging each other like crazy, making more smart kids with too many letters. It's time now for Brett to take the place of the most moral man in America, while Brady's. Brady had to fly home to Ohio to see his mom, who just had a hip surgery. And of course, Brady said his kidney pulled out. So I think they're just seeing each other, you know, one of those deals. And he took Kirby along with him to tour a school. School. Athens, Ohio. University of Ohio. There's if she may be Radio. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Radio will go back to college, so he's fooling himself into thinking he's going to send her off. Wait for the Dateline special completely, by the way, don't I. I'll get into that tomorrow. But Dateline is now using Keith Morrison to say things that don't make any sense that are still interesting as hell. I love that. Anyway, so, yeah, Brad's not here. Brett's here to solve your problems. I don't know if that's going to be a thing or not, but we'll find out. Brought to you by MMP Guns. MMP Guns. Right there. 12th street and Indian School. If you want to hop in there, right in the center of mo. Money pawn. Roll in there and grab whatever you need for your gun. Have you shot yours yet? That you got from them? Have you taken.

[A]

No, I just picked up a new suppressor from them, so.

[B]

Oh, boy. That was when I was there.

[A]

Yeah, but I had a. You gotta. You gotta fill out the paperwork on it, so I picked it up. Oh, Wednesday. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Okay. All right. Are you ready, Brett? I am, Brett. We'll try to solve the problems Brady usually comes at it with. Said, this is going to be a tough angle here, but we'll see. Dear Brady. Brett.

[A]

All right.

[B]

I just saw my son and his friend kissing in our pool. He's 19, and the boy he was with is 17.

[A]

Oh, my own. Oh, sorry. Go ahead.

[B]

Don't interrupt with your nonsense. As a father, what the hell do I do? I could say, not in my house, but do gays have the same rules with underage stuff? Can I get sued? I don't care that he's gay. I just don't want to lose my house and my Money. When this kid's parents say that my kid did something terrible. Justin.

[A]

Well, I think, I mean, I think, you know, Johnny Cakes there that he's in the pool with is. I think it's still an age thing. It doesn't matter if he's gay or if it's straight kids, you know?

[B]

Yeah, you can't.

[A]

Straight making out there's.

[B]

It's still statutory.

[A]

I would think so.

[B]

Right. Like if the parents of the 17 year old think that your 19 year old is manipulating him. Right.

[A]

But you know, he, he could be grooming. Veto, man.

[B]

Well, I mean, so it was just.

[A]

Kissing or what were they?

[B]

If it was your 19 year old son and a 17 year old girl, what would you do? Because the same rules apply, I think. Right.

[A]

Yeah. I mean it's so close.

[B]

It's just a lot more hair, you know, get them out of the pool with all that floating their pubes around, you're gonna clog up the filter. All that gum and weirdness they're shooting around.

[A]

I say play stupid, act like it never happened. Didn't see it. Didn't see it. Didn't happen.

[B]

My mom got mad.

[A]

Plus the kid's 19 anyway. He's responsible for his own bills.

[B]

Yeah. I was 22 and there was a hostess who was 16 or 17 at Tony Romas and she came over the house. We weren't going to do anything. She was. Was beautiful.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And my mom kicked us both out immediately. Not in my house. Get out of this house. Like what she goes if she gets weird. She's the age thing. And you may not have done anything, but you're alone in a house with her. Dumb.

[A]

And that's a lot closer too, you know, 19 and 17, that's.

[B]

Yeah, close. Doesn't seem bad. Yeah, I don't know how it works for gays. I know the law says one thing. Well, yeah, but I think they're a little more amorous. Couple of dudes, dudes, you know, nobody's putting the brakes on is what I'm saying. Like with a girl, she's like, no, I won't, I can't. And then you start dabbling into that. He forced her, right? That's not happening.

[A]

No, dudes aren't doing that.

[B]

Those Two dudes.

[A]

Chocolate LeBaron's ready to go.

[B]

Had you been not home that day, your pool would have had a tint of brown.

[A]

I said, yeah, like I said, just ignore it. Didn't happen. You didn't see anything.

[B]

Well, also shock the pool. Oh, there's Terrible things going on inside there. And it could happen to get a girl and a boy too. But I'm just saying, the 17 year old girl. I can't. No, your dad's home. Two gay guys. Okay, it's just happening. Poop.

[A]

Wiener.

[B]

This one says, how is a father liable for what a 19 year old does?

[A]

It's true, because the kid's 18.

[B]

Yeah, but it's in his house.

[A]

I don't think it matters on the location.

[B]

I'm pretty sure if you allow it, you're.

[A]

That's why you deny it. I didn't see anything, man. Saw nothing.

[B]

You got me, man.

[A]

Yeah, the kid's 18. He's an adult. Technically, it doesn't. It shouldn't matter where he's living. I don't think. I don't know.

[B]

Ian says, man, the father should think about this. He just saw him kissing because that was what was above the surface. There was a lot of bread at big surf going on under that water. Oh, God, you guys are gross. All right, this is an interesting one. I think you can. I think this is built for you. Although know I don't like Brady's opinion on this. Says, dear Brady, Brad, how many hemorrhoids until it's time to go to a doctor? One of my friends says just getting one is enough to go to the doctor. It should scare me. Another friend said he didn't go until it looked like he had had a period in his underwear. Oh, when would you go, Brian? You ever had one?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Roy.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Did you get a bundle like a grapevine or just.

[A]

No, just, just the one little peanut thing. I don't think you got to go to a doctor for one or two or whatever. If it's a constant thing. I would say possibly and definitely. If you're blood. Yeah. If it looks like chumming with Roy Scheider in Jaws there.

[B]

All right.

[A]

Yeah. Then definitely hit the.

[B]

Here's the rule. Get into a little bathtub of water.

[A]

The Sith bath. Is that what it calls it?

[B]

The sits. Sits bath?

[A]

Something like that? Yeah.

[B]

But you get in there. I don't care about that part. And just get your butt underwater. And if the water turns pink, you gotta go a doctor.

[A]

Yeah, well. Or you d. Up with. With the. With the toilet paper stuff, you know, but that could.

[B]

If it's just leaking off of you. If you're reaching up there and getting it and you don't feel. But if it's leaking out of you like that.

[A]

See, I never had. Like I said, I've Always had the little. The little bump and then I was.

[B]

Like popped the one. Not knowing what it was.

[A]

That I can't believe.

[B]

Extreme pain. Worst pain I've ever been in. More than shoulder surgeries and all that stuff. It was.

[A]

And that had a bleed too then, right?

[B]

All over white carpeting. Oh.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Because I did it. I just pulled my pants down and did it on the floor and not knowing what it was. And it was a gusher.

[A]

Well, there was a time I had no idea. Came in and had to do overnights. I had one of those. Those pillows that I had to sit on. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it wasn't bleeding or anything like that. So he just.

[B]

You know, I had a friend of mine who had internal.

[A]

Oh, yeah, mine weren't.

[B]

And it was just aching and paining and itching inside there. And he said he was using full tubes of Preparation H on like just jamming it in there. That's what that little nozzle. I didn't. I've never.

[A]

I've never had to use the noz.

[B]

I went to a girl's house once, Tony Roma's, once again, back in the day, her apartment opened the. As you do the cabinet in the bathroom, and her Preparation H thing had the nozzle on. That's exactly right. It was used. Let's just say it wasn't gently used. You have people over with you. You got goddamn company, you know, I'm going through that. Wash it up. Yeah, it was.

[A]

Was. Is that the.

[B]

It was stained. No.

[A]

Skittles One?

[B]

No, it wasn't Skittles.

[A]

Okay. Why don't you just put that back? What kind of pig.

[B]

I. I didn't even go in there to look for that. I just opened it to see how full it was. And always to look for like wart medication or something like that.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Valtrex or something. Yeah.

[B]

And so I opened it and that was the first thing I saw. And it was like. Almost like it was product branded for me. It was tilted up against the picture back preparation. Then it had the. What do they call that? The siphon or whatever that is. I don't know what that was. That big long tube on it.

[A]

Was it like when they open applicator? Was it like when they opened the briefcase of Pulp Fiction?

[B]

Light glowed and then. And then the Preparation H says. What are you looking at? That's just pride with you. Pride, Mother. I just shut the thing and I left. I want to say her name, cuz it's. But I'm not gonna. Deidre Anyway, all right, well, we're gonna go quick, cuz to's up our ass. Nice job. Not bad.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

Not bad. You did okay there, Brad. So you say go to the hospital after there's blood. Don't worry about one.

[A]

I'm with one. One's nothing.

[B]

And the twink and his boyfriend.

[A]

Deny, Deny. I didn't see anything. I don't know what you're talking about.

[B]

Shock the pool.

[A]

Oh, yeah, that's first.

[B]

And then, you know, hell, I'd shock.

[A]

It while they're in there.

[B]

That's a hate crime. I think that's a crime. No, I'd tell him. I'd open the door. I don't want pool. Knock it off.

[A]

I don't want poop pool. No, because then, you know, you gotta deny it.

[B]

No, no. If you stopped it, though, I don't know. I don't know how it works. Thank God. High five.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

No kids.

[A]

Thank you, Dr. Lynn.

[B]

Good God, it's nine. 29.

[A]

No poop pool.

[B]

No poop pool is very true. Guy says to just sniff it at the girls. Come on. On, man. You people are pigs. That's what Brady did. And he would have done better than that because he wouldn't have ended with, did you sniff at you pigs? It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees. I have heard enough of this morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. 98 Van Halen. I made my. My mention this morning of changing my mercury bet from not only just a tattoo if they win the finals, but now that they're down.02. I will put that tattoo on the top of my head. I believe I said it at 6. 25. 6:05 this morning. So 6-10-2025. So 6:05 this morning. Morning. I made that so you can mark it. You can. I timestamped it. Watermark. I said there's no possible way these girls can win four in a row. Donovan just scared me. But Holmberg, you ignorant fool, you say the Mercury can't win four of the next. What would it be? Five games. Right? That is not possible. You said. But you are forgetting it's women's sports. And it is possible because the ladies they're playing could lose the the next four to five games. Oh, my God. I hadn't thought of it that way. It's not about the team winning 4 to 5. It's the team losing 4 to 5. We saw a team yesterday right there at the State Farm Stadium lose a game. The Titans didn't win a game. The Cardinals lost a game. I'd also like to go out and make a little bit of a prediction about the Cardinals. Just talking to Larry about it. Larry McFeely watched the game, which blew me away. When did always kind of shock you when he starts talking sportsball, Wait for.

[A]

Him talk about the home. Home run and stuff like that.

[B]

When Larry talks sports ball, we all kind of get a little dizzy. It's like somebody's pulling the rug, but you're not. It's not quite out from under you, but it's definitely making the ground move. That loss just Cardinal fans, I'm feeling for you today. I get over it really fast because it's your own decisions that led you to this. So you didn't. You know, this is your fault. This is the type of loss that happened yesterday that could send a team into a one or two more wins this year tailspin. And I know Cardinal fans are quick to want to just hit the button and just nuke it. And a game like yesterday makes you feel that way. But I also have a theory. You got too many dudes with two last names. A lot of hyphens on this team. For some reason. I think too many hyphenated players means too many confused players. They don't know who anybody in their family actually is or whatever. You got too many names on your back. You're like. You're thinking about too much stuff. They're not solid in who they are, so they make dumb mistakes. Running the end zone and putting it down. Dude intercepts it, forgets that he hasn't been touched, gets the ball punched out. They're just kind of dumb. Kyler Murray getting hit in the face by Nuke It. But I would. I'm going to go ahead and say Cardinals might win three more games after that. They got the Colts this week. They're gonna get drubbed if they come out and perform this week. It's. It's sort of safe. Indiana Jones with Indiana Jones. But if they come out and have another bed wedding, they are. They're done for the year. Like the Bears last year, that commander's game, they had that Hail Mary at the end when that dude was turned around. Everybody made a big deal out of, like, they're not focused. They don't know how to win. They didn't win another One till like you said, the last week of the season because it was a Packers didn't play anymore.

[A]

The only ones that mattered.

[B]

Yeah, Cardinal fans, this is a tough one. So I highly recommend you pick up mountain biking or something fun.

[A]

Yeah, go to Action Ride shop.

[B]

Yeah, go to Action Ride shop. Grab a bike and waste your Sundays outside in this beautiful weather. Stop. Stop following them. It's 9:47. Tattoo on the head. I'm worried now that the Aces can lose five, four.

[A]

Idiot.

[B]

I'm fine. I'm fine. Hey, these broads can't come back. It's 9:48. We got an entertainment drill coming up in just moments. It's 98 Holmberg's Morning Sickness. 98 KUPD. Holmberg's Morning Sickness. There. We got through Monday. And you know, I got a lot of emails there, Brett. Not a bad showing with light, you know, down, down a Brady and a Toledo. People want us to change the name of this to the Jew wop show. And I think that's a pretty good idea. Jew Wop J. I. I'm in on that with a Jew op. And also I got an email this morning that said that Brady, you know, Brady's in Ohio and he took Kirby with him to go tour Athens, Ohio, to see Ohio University because if you can believe it, poor Kirby, Kirby's gonna be looking at college next year. She ain't going anywhere but ASU or MCC or Gilbert community. She ain't getting anywhere near from that house. But I did get a text from her friend Caitlin who was training trapped with the Bogans in San Diego in that hotel room. She said, oh, I was supposed to go on that trip. Thank God. I'm okay. Just letting me know. She's letting me know that she's okay. Poor Caitlyn. Brady didn't take her over a bunch of state lines again and fart on her all night when I'm being cheap. It's great stuff. Anyway, it's time for the entertainment drill and it's brought to you by our [e-mail] the Home Tactical Black self defense. Get on out there. You're looking to get in shape and go out on these trails. I saw a guy jogging the other, other day. A lot of people out on the trails and the, and the canals and stuff, riding their bikes, doing whatever because the weather's nice and they have, you know, the intention of got to get in great shape. You're going to get bored walking. They're going to get bored hiking. Do something that challenges you that is in your capability range. That also teaches you something while you go. And plus, if you're going to go out hiking and you're going to go out on there and have your headphones in or whatever else, you can also start becoming a target. Especially if you're habitual working out the same way every day. Defending yourself is not a bad idea. It's always smart. And if you're out there, I mean, how many times you hear about that? Women especially walking or being predictable about their. Their daily exercise routine and somebody spots it and goes, I see her here every day at this time. Bad guys have bad intentions. And if you set yourself up looking like a victim, guess what's gonna happen? So you know what? It's always good to surprise the bad guy. And be comfortable. Comfortable on your daily walk. Be comfortable on your exercise routine. Plus, you'll get in great shape up there. You won't even need to start hoofing it around canals or up and down mountains unless you absolutely want to. And you'll do it with supreme confidence. That's what they teach you most of all. You're gonna get in great shape. You're gonna learn a lot about yourself. You start being a sheepdog. Stop being a sheep. Reactdefense.com the home of tactical black self defense. Brett, entertain me.

[A]

All right, we'll. We'll start off not necessarily in the entertainment side, but we just talked about Brady. I didn't realize that this. It's national transfer money to your daughter day.

[B]

Oh, God. So it's all going to Kirby, right?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Hey, man, my account is a little low, man. I'd like all of it. You got it. Kirby Durbs. Kirby wants it, Kirby gets it.

[A]

I had no idea on that one. So there you go. And also some celebrity birthdays. Elizabeth shue from Karate 56, I'm guessing. Oh, keep going, buddy.

[B]

She's higher.

[A]

62.

[B]

Shut up.

[A]

62 years old.

[B]

Old. The very hot Elizabeth Shoe.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And the hooker from leaving Las Vegas.

[A]

Vegas. Yeah.

[B]

Oh, that's. Jeez. She was in a Karate Kid and Cocktail.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

She's been a great stuff.

[A]

Tony Dungy, 70.

[B]

No kidding.

[A]

Yeah. Kevin Cronin.

[B]

He always used stand on the sidelines and subhob when he. And now he does the. He. Does he still do the pregame? He doesn't, does he? He does he.

[A]

I seen him.

[B]

Is he still out there with Rodney Harrison and. And Jack Collinsworth?

[A]

That's exactly right, Bob.

[B]

They wear big cleats, so they're. That's Right, Bob? He always sounded like somebody was had him at gunpoint. He's 70.

[A]

Yeah. Steeler legend Kevin Cronin from REO Speedwagon. The very flamboyant Kevin Cronin. 80, 74. Oh, younger, but hitting in the 80s. Ellen Travolta, John's sister. 86.

[B]

We gotta have a birthday for her tonight.

[A]

She played Charles mother Lillian on Charles in Charge.

[B]

Wasn't she also in Happy Days as Fonzie loves Chachi?

[A]

She was in that.

[B]

Was she in that? Okay. Was she Chachi's Antonette as well?

[A]

Luis Arcola. Luisa Arcola. I'm not sure.

[B]

Chachi Arcola, that was Chachi's mom. So she always played Scott Baio's mother. Charles in Charge. Chachi. You know, you'd have thought that it caught on. There's got to be a kid out there whose parents love don't.

[A]

He loves Chachi.

[B]

Or. Or before that loved Happy Days. There's an attempt there kid chop.

[A]

There is a Chachi. There's gotta be.

[B]

And. And that's like the world. He's like 61 now and life has been miserable.

[A]

Anna Kendrick, well, she's took a trip to Scotland recently and basically said she locked eyes with the Loch Ness monster.

[B]

Okay, she did.

[A]

She says the trip was incredible. We all went to Scotland. We went to Loch Ness and I'm a card carrying skeptic. It's like UFOs and Bigfoot.

[B]

Hey, it's Thomas Wells from Scotland. Just to pop in here and let Anna Kendrick know. No, you didn't lock eyes with the great Nessie. What happened to you is you happened to be in daylight with one of those Scottish women. They all look like monsters to me. They're fat pigs covered in mud. They all look like Fiona. That's the bad thing about the movie Shrek. Fiona's one of the best looking women we ever had. No, Nessie. Will people stop believing? That's the bigger thing. Stop believing. Nessie's.

[A]

Well, what does Thomas Wells think of it? Has he weighed in on it or does he actually go along with it? Because it's.

[B]

Keep in mind. Mind. Keep in mind. And I wish I was making this up. Scotland's national animal is the unicorn. No, it's not. Yes, it is.

[A]

Come on.

[B]

That is their national animal. So they're delusional nut bags in the first place up there. Their national animal is the unicorn. So it makes sense that they would say there's a magical beast that lives under a lake.

[A]

32 years ago on this date, Michael Jordan Announced his first retirement from the NBA.

[B]

Oh, the first time he quit for gambling?

[A]

Yeah. Well, so they.

[B]

No, it was for gambling. I know. It was 100% for gambling.

[A]

He wanted to play baseball.

[B]

That's right. He wanted to be a. AAA baseball player. Of course, every dream everybody's ever had.

[A]

We all heard about Diddy getting four years in prison. I was over the. Also Rush, they're touring again. They're gonna go back out. It's like seven days or something. They're, you know, like big cities.

[B]

Without Neil.

[A]

Yeah. Her name is Annika Nils, or Nius. She was a drummer for Jeff Beck's band.

[B]

She's John Gordon. Doesn't know her. She's not good. Let me see here. She's. Pull up her page. Is she hot? To be honest with you, Getty might have met a hot girl who drums. Take her out on the road.

[A]

I guess. Give some pictures, for God's sake.

[B]

Oh, there she is. She's pretty good.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Canadian?

[A]

German.

[B]

German.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So she's a metronome, like a machine, those Germans. Yeah. By the way, I think today's also the day Eddie Van Halen passed.

[A]

Yes, yes.

[B]

And Brownie May.

[A]

Oh, really? They died in the same day.

[B]

2017. It was the same day. I don't know. The same year. I don't think it was the same year. I don't remember what.

[A]

Yeah, Eddie was five years old. Years ago.

[B]

Ralphie's like nine. Eight or nine, man. How about that?

[A]

There you go.

[B]

Well, there's fun. Thanks for ending that on that note, Bert. Geez. What?

[A]

I was talking about Rush. Yeah, you're the one who started bringing up death.

[B]

You started doing this day in history.

[A]

And, well, I skipped all the bad stuff.

[B]

Way to go, Brett. Make me feel like. You know what? I never was on the show when Brett was on the show. Thank God I checked out just in time. I had to deal with that prick Eric every time. Somehow, they never brought up me dying. All right, let's get out of here. Larry's coming up next on this glorious Monday. He's got a lot of stuff for you. Listen to Larry and find out what we're up to and what he can give you. That's how it works. Brady didn't come to work. Toledo didn't come to work. Nice job, Brett.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

I'm proud of you.

[A]

You op Show's over.

[B]

That's right. The Jew Wop Show, Episode one, is finally, finally come to an end. And tomorrow it's Jew up and stick, ju up and toast. Tomorrow morning as.

[A]

Brady's not back tomorrow?

[B]

No, he's back Thursday. I know he's taking. He's just taking all the time he needs. Well, he was supposed to go on some motorcycle trip through Europe right now, but when they sucked his kidney out, he wasn't allowed to go.

[A]

Well, then that means he should be back.

[B]

That's what I said.

[A]

What's going on here?

[B]

Doesn't mean you could just traverse the planet on your own. Come to work.

[A]

I need to run a tighter ship here, pal.

[B]

What are you doing over there on me? A little. I felt. Felt bad for him. I didn't think. Honestly, I didn't think he'd make it to October. So I just kind of left this one on the books and it snuck up on me.

[A]

I can see that.

[B]

We're done. Larry's coming up next. You guys have a great one. We'll see you tomorrow on the morning sickness. Hello. Until later. Bye. Hey. It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees. I have heard enough of this.