Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – Arizona: WWBD – w/Bret

Episode Date: October 6, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg, Bret Vesely, (Brady Bogen & Dick Toledo absent)
Main Theme:
This episode features Bret Vesely stepping into Brady Bogen's shoes for the "What Would Brady Do?" (WWBD) advice segment. The hosts tackle two audience questions: navigating the discovery of a 19-year-old son romantically involved with a 17-year-old boy, and advice on when to see a doctor for hemorrhoids. Delivered with unfiltered humor and straight talk, the discussion explores legal, moral, and practical angles in unique HMS fashion.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Absences and Setup

• [02:00] The hosts note Brady is in Ohio—his mom had hip surgery—and Dick Toledo is away after kidney surgery.
• [02:30] Bret steps in for the WWBD segment: “Bret’ll try to solve the problems Brady usually comes at it with.” (John)

2. Question 1: 19yo Son Caught Kissing 17yo Boy – Legal and Parental Dilemmas

• [03:33] Email from Justin: “I just saw my son and his friend kissing in our pool. He’s 19, the boy is 17… Do gays have the same rules with underage stuff? Can I get sued? I don’t care he’s gay, I just don’t want to lose my house and my money.”
• Legal Perspective:
  • [04:02] Bret: “I think, you know, Johnny Cakes there that he’s in the pool with is… I think it’s still an age thing. It doesn’t matter if he’s gay or if it’s straight kids, you know?”
  • [04:14] John: “It’s still statutory.”
  • [04:16] Bret: “I would think so.”
  • [04:17] John: “If the parents of the 17-year-old think your 19-year-old is manipulating him…”
  • [04:24] Bret (sarcastically): “He could be grooming. Veto, man.”
• Moral and Parental Advice:
  • [04:57] Bret: “I say play stupid. Act like it never happened. Didn’t see it. Didn’t happen. My mom got mad because the kid’s 19 anyway, he’s responsible for his own bills.”
  • [05:05] John shares a personal anecdote: “I was 22 and there was a hostess who was 16 or 17, and my mom kicked us both out immediately… she goes, 'If she gets weird, she’s gonna use the age thing.'”
  • [05:31] John adds, “I don’t know how it works for gays… but I think they’re a little more amorous. Couple of dudes, you know, nobody’s putting the brakes on is what I’m saying.”
  • [05:56] Bret: “Just ignore it. Didn’t happen. You didn’t see anything.”
• Humorous Take on “Pool Contamination”:
  • [05:48] John: “Had you been not home that day, your pool would have had a tint of brown.”
  • [06:01] John: “Well, also shock the pool. Oh, there’s terrible things going on inside there.”
• Liability Concern:
  • [06:20] Audience email: “How is a father liable for what a 19-year-old does?”
  • [06:24] Bret: “The kid’s 18, he’s an adult. Technically, it shouldn’t matter where he’s living.”
  • [06:29] John: “I’m pretty sure if you allow it, you’re…”
• Final Advice:
  • [08:28] Bret recaps: “And the twink and his boyfriend? Denied. Denied. I didn’t see anything. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
  • [08:33] John: “Shock the pool. Oh, yeah, that’s first… hell, I’d shock it while they’re in there.”
  • [10:45] Bret, joking: “I don’t want poo poo. No, because then, you know, you gotta deny it now.”

Notable Quotes:

• Bret ([04:57]): “I say play stupid. Act like it never happened. Didn’t see it. Didn’t happen.”
• John ([05:05]): “If she gets weird, she’s gonna use the age thing. And you may not have done anything, but you’re alone in a house with her. Dumb.”
• John ([05:48]): “Had you been not home that day, your pool would have had a tint of brown.”
• Bret ([10:28]): “And the twink and his boyfriend? Denied. Denied. I didn’t see anything.”

3. Question 2: Hemorrhoids – When to See a Doctor?

• [06:42] Email from Brian: “Dear Brady, Bret, how many hemorrhoids until it’s time to go to a doctor? My friend says just getting one is enough to go to a doctor… Another friend said he didn’t go until it looked like he had a period in his underwear…”
• Personal Experience:
  • [07:21] Bret: “Just the one little peanut thing. I don’t think you gotta go to a doctor for one or two… If it’s a constant thing, possibly. And definitely if you’re [bleeding]…”
  • [07:44] John: “Here’s the rule. Get into a little bathtub of water… If the water turns pink, you gotta go to the doctor.”
  • [08:14] John: “I popped the one not knowing what it was—extreme pain. Worst pain I’ve ever been in.”
  • [08:31] John (graphic humor): “It was a gusher… all over white carpeting.”
• Medical Advice:
  • [07:49] John: “…just get your butt underwater, and if the water turns pink, you gotta go to the doctor.”
  • [08:11] Bret: “I popped the one, not knowing what it was… extreme pain.”
  • [10:21] John: “So you say go to the hospital after there’s blood. Don’t worry about one.”
  • [10:27] Bret: “One’s nothing.”

Notable Quotes:

• John ([08:14]): “I popped the one not knowing what it was—extreme pain. Worst pain I’ve ever been in. More than shoulder surgeries and all that stuff.”
• John ([07:44]): “If the water turns pink, you gotta go to the doctor.”
• Bret ([07:21]): “Just the one little peanut thing. I don’t think you gotta go to a doctor for one…”

4. Miscellaneous Memorable Moments

• [09:21] The hosts riff on finding a used Preparation H nozzle in a woman’s bathroom—recalling stories about other hidden bathroom items and poking fun, Tarantino/Pulp Fiction style.
• [10:56] John (joking about not having kids): “High five. Yeah. No kids.”
• [11:00] John: “No poop pool is very true.”
• [11:21] Comic riffing wraps up the segment before they transition out of content.

Notable Quotes & Moments (w/ Timestamps)

• [04:57] Bret: “Play stupid. Act like it never happened. Didn’t see it. Didn’t happen.”
• [05:05] John: “If she gets weird, she’s gonna use the age thing. And you may not have done anything, but you’re alone in a house with her. Dumb.”
• [07:44] John: “If the water turns pink, you gotta go to the doctor.”
• [08:14] John: “I popped the one not knowing what it was—extreme pain. Worst pain I’ve ever been in.”
• [10:28] Bret: “And the twink and his boyfriend? Denied. Denied. I didn’t see anything.”
• [10:56] John: “High five. Yeah. No kids.”

Final Takeaways

Advice on Difficult Situations:

• For both legal/moral family dilemmas and embarrassing medical issues, the HMS team’s core advice can be summarized as:
  • Deny knowledge when it protects you legally (“Didn’t see it. Didn’t happen.”)
  • Only take drastic action (like going to a doctor) when symptoms escalate (bleeding, persistent problems).

Style:

• The hosts’ approach blends irreverent humor (“shock the pool,” “the twink and his boyfriend”), personal stories, and a don’t-take-life-too-seriously attitude.

For Listeners:

• This episode is worth a listen for its frank, funny takes on taboo and awkward issues, and showcases why HMS remains popular in Arizona morning radio.