10-07-25 - BR - TUE - w/Bret - It's Natl Taco Day w/List Of Most Hated Taco Toppings - States Rated By Their Love Of Halloween - Things You Don't Get The Appeal Of - FLA Woman Arrested For Throwing Used Tampons On Exs Yard

Summary

Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness, 98KUPD – Oct 7, 2025

Episode: 10-07-25
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen (absent), Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Main Features: National Taco Day, Most Hated Taco Toppings, Halloween Survey, "Things You Don't Get the Appeal Of," Fl. Woman & Used Tampons, and more (with the Guido Report by Bret).

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Episode Overview

This episode delivers the classic unruly and darkly humorous energy of Holmberg's Morning Sickness. With Brady out, Bret steps in for the infamous "Brady Report" (dubbed "Guido Report") as the crew riffs on National Taco Day, America’s feelings toward Halloween, and deep-dives into pet peeves, gross headlines, and grotesque viral videos. Listeners get an unfiltered, playful volley of stories and opinions, peppered with the show’s trademark wisecracking.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

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1. Show Banter & Technical Fumbles (00:00–03:20)

• Classic show dynamic with John ribbing Bret and Toledo for a lack of prep and printer woes.
• Good-natured blame-shifting and behind-the-scenes bickering establish the comedy tone.

Quote:
"How have we been doing this for a quarter of a century? And I have to tell both of you, this is how this... No, no, no." (John, 01:50)

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2. National Taco Day & Best/Worst Taco Toppings (04:47–09:51)

Taco Day Freebies & Fast Food Love

• Taco Bell: Soft tacos for $1.
• Jack in the Box: 2 free tacos per purchase (revered for their “mystery meat”).
• Discussion on late-night Mexican food cravings and how "bad" tacos can be heavenly post-drinking.

Quotes:
"I don't know what kind of meat that is. I don't think it's earth animal. They've mined something from space." (John, 05:57)
"It's spectacular. So I know it doesn't sound complimentary... It's not a great Yelp review, but it Is the best taco going." (John, 06:16)

Most Hated Taco Toppings

From a food blogger's poll:

1. Cilantro (polarizing flavor)
2. Black olives (John's nemesis)
3. Lettuce (possibly the wrong kind, or too wilted)
4. Cheese (hosts are dumbfounded that anyone would object)
5. Sour cream

Pickled onions and raw onions also discussed. Cheese haters get roasted.

Quote:
"You can't interview those. It's like asking a vegan where the best steakhouse is." (John, 09:43)

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3. Fun Facts & Odd History (10:03–12:39)

• F-22 “kill” record: Only 3 air-to-air kills in 20 years, the first being the infamous Chinese spy balloon (2023), with John's racist "Chinamen" riff.
• Jack Nicholson’s family secret: Learned at 37 that his “sister” was actually his mother (John: "I've always had the theory, young piece of ass... and I was right.").
• Etymology of 'dilemma': Led to a playful tangent about AI imaginations and nonsexual absurdity.

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4. Halloween: America's Favorites & Arizona's Spirit (13:40–18:44)

• States that love Halloween the most: Delaware, Idaho, North Dakota—likely for lack of alternatives.
• Arizona ranks lowest for Halloween spirit, possibly due to heat ("It's 90 degrees and you're out there in masks...").
• Candy buying: Average is 4.5 bags per American; hosts confess to leftover candy and past giveaways of condiment packets and surplus hot tamales.

Quotes:
"It's not dirt and cotton balls in your front yard pretending you haven't washed for years." (John, 16:29)
"I spent a year saving condiments from lunches at work once, and that was my Halloween giveaway." (John, 17:28)

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5. "Things You Don't Get the Appeal Of" (18:48–21:17)

• National survey prompts the crew to chime in with bafflements:
  • Taylor Swift ("She's human cilantro" — John, 18:59)
  • Boba tea, pumpkin spice, trendy water bottles ("Stanleys"), celebrity worship, influencers.
  • Strip clubs ("She's naked but you can't touch her. Absolutely not, that's terribly stupid." — John, 20:25)
  • Sports betting/slot machines (Bret sympathizes, John gets why people don't like it).
  • Being mean to animals (should be #1, says John), social places with impossibly loud music.

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6. The "One That Got Away" (21:24–22:59)

• Survey: 39% admit having a "one that got away."
• Discussed with humor and self-deprecation.
• John: "I know for a fact no one wants to do that with me... Now you're just a guy on someone's porch." (22:38)
• Bret: Ex ref. to ex-girlfriend who turned to painkillers—"the one that got away was her dealer." (22:59)

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7. Ultra-Crazy News: "Crazy Broad News" (23:31–25:47)

• Florida woman: Arrested for throwing 75–100 used tampons on her ex's lawn (23:43)
• “That's sociopath stuff... She needs to go to jail.” (John, 25:47)
• She blamed her mother and aunt, was a paid firewoman, now charged with misdemeanor stalking.

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8. Five Signs You’re in a Bad Bar (25:54–29:01)

Listed by hosts and survey:

• Lack of cleanliness (fishy smell, dirty glassware, sticky surfaces)
• General lack of bartender knowledge/skill ("I'm a mixologist..." = red flag)
• Absence of welcome/greeting
• Too many signature cocktails (quality drop)
• (Host add-on) Off-track betting presence, attracting unsavory regulars

Anecdotes abound, including John’s “bar rescue” moments and rundown of disastrous OTB crowds.

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9. On This Date: Odd Anniversaries (29:14–30:41)

• Spotify launch (2008, happy birthday)
• Hubie Halloween (Adam Sandler film, 2020 – called “second worst October 7th”)
• Schwarzenegger elected Governor (2003)
• Boy George arrested for cocaine (2005)
• MPAA film rating system started (1968)

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10. Rapid-Fire Viral Videos & Gross-Out Content (31:31–39:35)

A Holmberg’s staple: describing listener-submitted, grotesque, or hilarious videos, often with little context.

• Family in a field attacked by a gorilla (31:39)
• Man eating out of a sewer drain in India (32:27: "That's India's final boss," Toledo notes.)
• Man dressed as Spider-Man dancing in Ohio (33:54)
• A wild, graphic video featuring what the hosts think is a trans woman in a bathtub.
• Violent car crash and drive-through shooting surveillance tapes.
• Woman eating a tarantula ("Toledo's next international meal." – John)
• Woman shooting arrows with a lady part (“It's not a fart... let's just say.” — John, 38:17)
• Woman pooping out fully-formed hot dogs (39:01): "That's a big ass, too. That's cardi b sized. It's clean, though. Yeah. It's spotless." (John, 39:30)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Jack in the Box tacos:
  "It could be Alpo. I don't know. It's spectacular." (John, 06:16)

• On Taylor Swift:
  "She's human cilantro. Some people love her and other people just don't get it." (John, 18:59)

• On the Florida tampon incident:
  "That’s sociopath stuff. How many do girls go through in a week when they're having a real bad one? Like, ten? So she’s hitting seven periods before she finally—she had them in some Ziploc in her fridge." (John, 24:17, 24:49)

• On being in a bad bar:
  "You don’t want people chasing their bills in your restaurant." (John, 27:43)

• On musicians that have “one that got away”:
  “Katy Perry wrote a song about it, and Jeffrey Dahmer definitely had that. The one that got away got him arrested.” (John, 21:36)

• On video perversions:
  “You may ask yourself, where did my dick go?” (John, referencing David Byrne in a surreal graphic video, 34:53)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• (00:00–03:20) Show intro, printer woes, behind-the-scenes humor
• (04:47–09:51) National Taco Day, best & worst tacos and toppings
• (10:03–12:39) Fun facts and odd historical revelations
• (13:40–18:44) Halloween stats, state-by-state love, Arizona shamed
• (18:48–21:17) What people ‘don’t get the appeal of’ survey and riff
• (21:24–22:59) “One that got away” digressions
• (23:31–25:47) Florida woman and the used tampons headline
• (25:54–29:01) “Signs of a Bad Bar,” OTB tales
• (29:14–30:41) October 7th anniversaries
• (31:31–39:35) Viral/grotesque video breakdowns and listener submissions

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Conclusion

This episode typifies the signature formula of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness—outrageously irreverent, packed with crude humor, pop culture hot takes, and group therapy for the audience’s amusement. With a blend of local color, relatable survey commentary, and “did-they-really-say-that?” moments, there’s never a dull minute—even (or especially) when things get messy.

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Missed the show? This summary captures the off-the-wall highlights, signature banter, and all the Taco Day/horror season weirdness you’d expect from Arizona’s top morning crew.

Transcript

[A]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition, and accessories.

[B]

All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. For the complete lineups and for Tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com. you've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil.

[A]

Sitting right here.

[B]

Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude and. Enough already, people with the AI Stuff. That's enough. Do you have your papers, Brett?

[A]

She got a really good. Oh, no.

[B]

Come on, you two.

[A]

We've been talking about AI the whole time. Me, we gotta go to break.

[B]

I just looked over at you like he's got nothing in front of him. Yeah, you. That's you. That's your job as a producer to make sure everything's in front of the people when we're. That's you.

[C]

Like Brady said, after the break.

[B]

We'll do this after the break. You didn't print it. No, you idiot.

[A]

I'm not used to this. They only did it one day.

[B]

The Jew up show is taking a turn. And 2. How do I sound, by the way? Am I still. I saw that and I was like, wait a second, we're going. I started the music. I looked over like, what's he gonna read? He's got nothing.

[A]

I could say this.

[B]

What? Oh, what is it? Don't do the thing again. What is it? I have a dream that one day my people can figure out to stop the beeping. No, that comes out of our ceiling. Oh, this is so true. All right, you jackass. Well, this will get us back on time, at least. Toledo. This dingus. And now it's less research than Brady does. At least he reads it and then prints it. You haven't done anything, Right? This is on you, right?

[C]

All right, I'll take that.

[B]

You got to tell them, like, hey, are you ready for the. It's preparation, and that's the producer's job. Make sure that the time. Are you ready? Brett? Do you have this Do. What do you need? What do you need? God damn it. Sure don't. How have we been doing this for a quarter of a century? And I have to tell both of you, this is how this. No, no, no. The Brady Report is coming in just seconds. It is, but yeah, you know what might be. He might have to. The next one he does might be him. I'd have to phone in the wait. No. That would be a catastrophe. It's 7:58. The Brady reports right around the corner. Brett can work the printer. It's 98. Morning sickness medicate. KUPD, Holmberg's Morning. Now we've got things printed and figured out these two jackasses I work next to. What, by the way? I got an email from a guy that said watching the game last night, the camera went to Trevor Lawrence and he wasn't picking his nose. And this guy says that his daughter said, oh, my God. And he's like, what happened? She goes, they have girls in the NFL now. He goes, no, that guy just needs a haircut. Trevor Lawrence, I don't think he's doing himself any favors with that hair. But I'd fear to see how big his nose would look if he had a high and tight. That's a big ass nose. Huge. But they beat the Chiefs last night. That was fun to watch, I'll tell you that. It's time now for Brett to haphazardly give you all the news that he knows.

[A]

I'm keep it traditional.

[B]

Yeah, I know. Well, no, this is. This is less research than what Brady does. You know, what Brady actually goes through. And I watch him sometimes. He doesn't know this, but, like, he'll get to words and I'll watch his mouth, like, start working out words that are too big. Look at him. He does it while we're talking. Sometimes he'll be looking at a piece of paper and his mouth will be like, lip syncing because he sees a big word and he has to work on it. At least he's doing that. He's not doing any research on details, but he does kind of lip out some big words and it's very funny. You are so confident, Brett, in the Guido Report, that this is going to just be rip and read, baby. That's what I do. It's time for Brett to give you the Brady Report. It's brought to you allprochade.com oh, my. Brady's in a little commercial there with Robert from All Pro Shade walking around our building and made me realize our building has no shade. And it's like there's our whole huge patio out here. These umbrellas do nothing. They do nothing. The goggles do nothing.

[C]

The cap of them are broken anyway.

[B]

Yeah. And yeah, have them don't work. They said these shades that they could put out here would make this a usable space because it currently is not even in nice weather. It's too sunny. It's too hot. All Pro shade will fix that. They'll take an area that you should be using at your house and say, hey, the fact you're not using it, it's just wasting space. And that's a waste of money. So get your shade on and get those guys out there. 20 years of doing that means they're the best. Because they are. And all pro shade.com is where you go. Brett reported.

[A]

How you doing? Here we go. We'll start this thing off with well, it. Today is you matter to me day.

[B]

Oh, thanks, buddy. Yeah.

[A]

It's also in Brady's honor. It is National Taco Day, which used to be. Apparently it used to October 4th, but last year they changed it. Who changed it? Don't know. I'm sticking with the research here. Just sticking with the research here.

[B]

You're answering my question. I knew it was going to come up.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Cuz you didn't look.

[A]

I didn't even want to ceiling tile it.

[C]

They say, yeah, that's.

[B]

Well. Well, that's what they say. But you're saying it.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

He still doesn't understand that. No. Yeah. And now you're doing it right.

[A]

I want to keep this traditional.

[B]

How am I sounding? Am I right?

[A]

Taco Bell's offering soft tacos for a buck. Jack in the Box has two free tacos purchase.

[B]

Man, are those.

[A]

And there's also deals at del Taco 7 11, El Pollo Loco, and Moe's Southwest Grill.

[B]

This in no way is bashing Jack in the Box. It may sound like I am, but there is nothing better when you want to abuse your body with food than those giant jumbo tacos from Jack and the Box.

[A]

Especially after drinking.

[C]

They're so good.

[B]

Oh, if you're drunk, it's ambrosia. I don't know what kind of meat that is. I don't think it's earth animal. They've mined something from space. The sea. I don't know. It could be human and I would eat it. It is such a weird texture when you. And the. And the oils in it make it look like a pot sticker or like. Like it's eating the skin of the taco from the inside. You start to see the ingredients through the shell, but, man, is there that satisfying bite of whatever that meat is. It could be Alpo. I don't know. It's spectacular. So I know it doesn't sound complimentary. It's not a great Yelp review, but it Is the best taco going. And I don't care what anybody says, Mexicans leave me alone about this. I'm white, so I like it. Jack in the box tacos. For my money, top three.

[A]

2Am too, 2am number one.

[B]

Absolutely number one. Best burrito I've ever had in my life was at the gay bar Charlie's at 2 in the morning with Emo Phillips. Hands down, I've spent a ton of money at high end places. You're like, is this guy? And it was, okay, it's just a burrito. And I've always had the theory, yeah, Mexican food's hard to be highbrow and it's really hard to screw up. You can, but for the most part, you stick to the basics on it. You're going to get a pretty good deal. That Charlie's burrito at that gay bar, oh my God. I would have blown a guy for it. And I think I had the opportunity.

[A]

You could have.

[B]

It was unreal. But for my money, Jack and the box. And that was our other option. Emo and I and I believe the Sklar brothers, Megan and a couple other people were in a truck. And we were either going to Jack in the box at like 2:30 or then emo Phillips, the great comedian. What's that over there? I'm like, oh, it looks like a food truck at a gay bar. I'm up for it if you are. Like, all right. And that was the best moment of my time with Emo Phillips as two gay black guys stood in line behind us at that burrito thing. And Emo, if you know him, Google him if you don't know him. But google him if you don't know him. If you do, he's standing there in a trench coat with his Emo Phillips hair. And two black guys goes, standing behind us goes, what's this all about? Who's this Willy Wonka? And I was just like. And then Emo turned Johnny Depp stole me my character for his version of that. This, this mother. He's crazy. Like emo don't talk to them. Why not? He's crazy. I liked him. We miss emo. Get him back. Okay, let me bring emo home. Go ahead.

[A]

Speaking of tacos, I guess a while back there was a food blogger that asked people the worst taco toppings.

[B]

Olives. I'm not an olives guy.

[A]

Number two.

[B]

Number two.

[A]

Number two.

[C]

Pickled onions.

[B]

That's those.

[C]

That's a traditional.

[B]

But is it? I thought that was the highbrow white.

[A]

Did not make the list. But regular. Oh, well, onion. Particularly raw onion.

[B]

Actually, I don't like that either, but that's just preference. I don't think it's a bad topping. That's just me.

[A]

Number one, cilantro.

[B]

That's a 50. 50? You put cilantro on a sock, I'll eat it. But some people hate it.

[A]

Black olives. Number two. Like you said, lettuce. Number three.

[B]

What?

[A]

It's unclear if the issue is wilted lettuce or the wrong type or people are just.

[B]

No, lettuce.

[A]

Don't want greens.

[B]

Traditional is cabbage. In what, mother street, Earth world are you talking about?

[C]

Tacos.

[B]

Street tacos. First off, they're. Those two words don't exist in my vocabulary. I don't eat street food.

[A]

Number four.

[C]

You just said you did.

[B]

You know, at three in the morning when you're drunk, you'll eat. Like I said, you'll eat a candy bar from a pair of pants. But the different Toledo.

[A]

Number four, cheese, which I don't get that at all.

[B]

Essential.

[A]

Yeah. And I don't know if it's a bunch of idiots that are.

[B]

You can't interview those. It's like asking a vegan where the best steakhouse house is. Right.

[A]

And number five was sour cream. There's a bunch of other ones here, but I like sour cream.

[B]

Olives are. Olives are the one that I can't tolerate. Otherwise. I kind of get around all the sour cream. I'm not a fan of. I won't use it if I don't hit, but if it's on there, I'll probably go for it. Olives will just throw it out.

[A]

All right, some basic fun facts for you. Despite being in Service for about 20 years, the F22 has only scored three air to air kills.

[B]

We're gonna get that fixed.

[A]

The first was a Chinese balloon in February of 2023.

[B]

And we killed it. A lot of people don't know there were Chinamen in it. A lot of them. There's billions of those. A lot of Chinamen. They're very little. And they. They. They float across the sky, spying on the United States. That's true. And we shoot them down. And they're little balloons. They're little Chinaman balloons. You get them at Party City. You know when they say, made in China, there's a Chinaman in it. Why do you think it knows where it's going? It always drives itself. That's not helium. Chinese pilot. It's only got three kills, and one's an empty balloon. Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

But a Chinese balloon.

[B]

But it was Chinese. We didn't shoot down anything but a Chinese balloon. And we're gonna get him. We're gonna go down there. We gotta pick a fight. But the beautiful F22. It's gonna kill a lot of planes. We're gonna do it.

[A]

When Jack Nicholas was 30. Jack Nicholson. Excuse me. When Jack Nicholson was 37, he found out the woman he thought was his sister.

[B]

Great story.

[A]

Was really his mother.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

June was a showgirl who was only 17 when he was born. He was raised by her parents.

[B]

Yep. His. His mom that he knows.

[C]

Oh.

[B]

Is his grandmother. And his real mom, he thought was his sister for years. The work can't handle the truth. That's why they didn't tell him Madonna was his sister. Yeah. Ladonna. Ladonna Harvey. I always wondered who my real mom was. And I had a feeling she was a young piece of ass. And I was right.

[A]

The word dilemma originally meant a choice between two tough options. Three options was a trilemma, four options was a quadrillema, and so on and.

[C]

So forth, they say.

[B]

So dilemma was two instead of bilema.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Hang on.

[A]

Let me look at the ceiling tiles. Keeping up tradition.

[B]

Du a lemma. Oh, du leap. I have a dual, Emma.

[C]

Well, you'd like to.

[B]

I would love to have a dual. And that's the other. And don't send me AI do A having sex. I like my AI to be impossibilities. Do A has sex. That's just gonna make me upset. So seeing her do it is like, oh, that stinks. Because it's actually happening. Hitler on a skateboard.

[A]

Hilarious.

[B]

It's immediately absurd. I like my AI to be absurd. I don't like it to be sexualized possibilities. That's just gonna make me realize I'll never achieve that.

[A]

What about MLK with the smoke alarm?

[B]

That too. Any. Any historic figure doing something way out of the ordinary. Bring look MLK in the smoke alarm. There was an MLK one yesterday again. Three weeks with this new AI and we've just destroyed it with silly. He was given his I have a dream speech, and then he just.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

In the middle of it, he goes, I have a dream. And everybody just started to clap and look at each other like, what's he doing? And then he just left. And you see him running off to a restaurant. Not going to say the name of the restaurant, but he was in Top speed.

[A]

Four people sent that to me already. I didn't play that.

[B]

I pissed myself because I didn't see that part coming because he was so distracted by the corner of his eye Restaurant. It's terrible, but don't. Nobody can get upset about that. When I've watched Stephen Hawking land on his head in a half pipe 100 times. Everything about it is bad. You can't email. Go. I can't believe you said that about mlk. I'm like, did you hear me? Hitler was a Kansas City chief for a few seconds. All of it's bad. Stick from ass removal and let's just move on, all right?

[A]

Halloween's 24. 24 days away. I can't believe that.

[B]

Yeah, you're right.

[A]

I don't even know what I'm gonna do for that. But I do.

[B]

I know what you're gonna do.

[A]

Well, I know where I'll be.

[B]

I have something for you. Oh, no, it's a necessity. It's good. You and Brady both.

[A]

Oh, wait a minute.

[B]

I have it for you, and it's gonna be great. Trust me. It's easy, too. You've already got the. You've already got it.

[A]

All right.

[B]

She need a hat.

[A]

All right. I can wear a hat every day.

[B]

Oh, you're a good one. Not that white. We got you. Although that would work, but not for what I want you to do. You're gonna love it.

[A]

A new survey asked Americans to rate how much they love Halloween. And the basically by state. And the fanatics basically seem to be in, like, Delaware, Idaho, North Dakota, probably because there's not a goddamn thing to.

[B]

Do over there, but, well, Mormons, family.

[C]

Lots of Mormons.

[B]

Yeah, Safety. Get to dance with the devil a little bit. You know, it's the closest they get to evil outside of blowing each other and being gay with the neighbors and not talking about it. I've seen it. I've seen the peacock special. I know what's going on up there.

[C]

Out in our neighborhood in Mesa. Trunk or Treat lives out in Mesa.

[B]

Dudes are handing each other old fashions like crazy over there in those. I watch the documentaries. I know what's going on.

[C]

Double skiers.

[B]

I don't think there's three in the car. I think there's. No, there's that. What was that documentary? That guy said that this is what friends do.

[C]

Keep sweet. No, that was.

[B]

No, that was different.

[A]

That was Warren Jeff's like the.

[B]

The. The neighbors next door or something. Like, it was a peacock thing about. It was a true story. That was great. And the neighborhood, you know, convinced the other Mormons that giving him a hand job was what friends do. Then he banged the guy's wife. What a story. Morning sickness. Kupd. Holmberg's morning sickness.

[A]

Can you guess? The state with the least Halloween spirit.

[B]

Is the least Halloween spirit. I'm gonna go with either Utah or someplace miserable.

[C]

I'll go big. I'll go New York.

[B]

Well, someplace that doesn't want to give things away for free.

[C]

Connecticut.

[B]

No, they love showing off their houses. Say West Virginia.

[A]

You're sitting right in the.

[B]

Arizona.

[A]

Arizona.

[B]

Wow. We don't like Halloween.

[A]

We don't know if it's because it's 90 degrees and you're out there in masks and everything else, but apparently scored 3.7 out of 5.

[B]

No kidding.

[A]

Halloween.

[C]

Well, in your hood, all the decorations, it's one house. Oh, I thought you said there were multiple houses.

[B]

No, it's one.

[C]

All washed away with the monsoon.

[B]

One house and multiple decorations that got swapped and they.

[C]

Were they all inflatable?

[B]

No, there's like a 40 foot skeleton. There's some PVC pipe with dirt and cotton on it and that got knocked over. It's terrible. This looks like garbage in your front yard. None of the other neighbors have done it. There's a one down the street has done a nice job with lights. They made kind of these orangish mauve, like it's very haunted looking, but it's classy. It looks nice. It's not dirt and cotton balls in your front yard pretending that you haven't washed for years.

[A]

And how many pounds of candy do you guys normally buy?

[B]

Pounds.

[A]

Yeah, because here's the average American spends.

[B]

I don't get a ton. Oh, really? I don't get a ton of people. You probably get a lot. Yeah, but I get like two or three bags total.

[A]

The average American purchases 4.5 bags.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And they're usually a couple pounds, you know, they're at least a pound.

[C]

So the Costco bag will last us usually.

[A]

I think we still have stuff in our freezer from last Halloween, to be honest with you.

[B]

Oh, it's going in four days.

[A]

Damn right it's been frozen.

[B]

It's fine. I spent a year saving condiments from lunches at work once, and that was my Halloween giveaway. Like the Kim lan and mustard packs and all sorts. For a whole year. Me and my friend Colin just give me your. Give me your little cup of sesame seeds. Mayonnaise. No, we didn't go with the perishables. It had to be sealed. We weren't perverts. We weren't trying to poison the children. It's like the candy apple that was homemade. It was in the packets. Hellman's mayonnaise. Never ate mayonnaise, but they always give you a ton. So anytime we'd go to lunch, we'd ask for extra condiments and then had a big bowl of them. Kids loved it because you know why? We gave them stuff to squish in the front yards and the roads. Like the ketchup packs were getting squattered and it was hilarious.

[A]

But do you remember, Remember when we were giving away. I don't know if we should mention the brand but those, those cases of candy here.

[B]

Oh yeah.

[A]

Tangemon had those things literally cases to.

[B]

The ceiling or the hot tamales.

[A]

Ok. I didn't know if we, you know, why not?

[B]

It wasn't their fault.

[C]

They were delicious. But we had them. We had so many.

[A]

I took a. I mean the boxes were this big. I took a case home. I was giving them away for three years. I just kept throwing them in. Kids love me because I just dig in.

[B]

Just a handful. There's a never ending supply of hot tamales at my work. Yeah, I. I don't think I ever stole hot tamales. No.

[A]

Randall's like, get them out of here. I'm like, all right, cool. Our hallway was full.

[B]

Yeah, forgot about that. That.

[A]

All right, let's see here. What. What's something you just don't get the appeal of at all?

[B]

Taylor Swift.

[A]

Survey of it.

[B]

She on it?

[A]

She's on the list.

[B]

Yeah. I don't like it. It. Some people it's cilantro. She's human cilantro. Some people love her and other people just don't get it.

[A]

She's number eight on the list as.

[B]

A matter of fact.

[C]

Boba tea.

[B]

Boba te's up there. Pumpkin spice.

[C]

Yeah, that's another one.

[A]

No. Oh no. It is number 16 on the list.

[B]

Pumpkin spices.

[A]

Pumpkin spice. Probably just because it's not a year long thing.

[B]

I don't know if it's still applicable. But friends.

[A]

The show.

[B]

The show. And also people I understand like having friends know the show. It's not on there because it's not.

[A]

Now up to date. I mean here's just some, just some basic ones. Trendy water bottles that you see these broads walking around with.

[B]

Why you say Sounds true.

[C]

My broad.

[B]

See cuz broads have them. What are those called?

[C]

Stanley.

[B]

Stanley's.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They're just thermoses that are pink.

[A]

Worshiping a celebrity or even worse, an influencer.

[B]

Yeah. That I. I don't understand.

[A]

The worship Part leaving the house. That's. Larry must have been surveyed in this.

[B]

That is overrated.

[A]

Strip club's on the list at number five.

[B]

Yeah, I've never gotten that. I've gone.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I've had a good time with friends. But I don't get the appeal of the strip club.

[A]

Like, I'll go if everybody's. Let's go, strip club. All right, fine, let's go. Whatever. But I'm never gonna suggest it. Let's go.

[B]

I'm gonna set you up on a date to cost you a couple hundred dollars. And she'll get naked, but you can't touch her.

[C]

Right.

[B]

You'd say, absolutely not. That's terribly stupid. But it's like, if five or six of us can go and watch her do it and make fun of her, I'll do that. But I'm not there for the. Like, I don't get going to a strip club for the titillation.

[A]

No pun intended.

[B]

No, There's a word in it. Pun.

[A]

This one you won't like. Number four, sports betting. Also slot machines.

[B]

Yeah, I know. I understand why people wouldn't get it. Yeah, yeah. It's not appealing to everybody.

[A]

Number three, being mean to animals.

[B]

Oh, that should be number one to me first. Yeah.

[A]

Number two, being mean just to seem cool. And number one, social places where the music is too loud to talk to anyone.

[B]

That's old people.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So Brady and Larry were quizzed. There's just a lot of noise in there.

[A]

According to this survey, 39% of people have experienced the one that got away.

[B]

39 people have had a one that got away.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, Katy Perry wrote a song.

[B]

About it, and Jeffrey Dahmer definitely had that. The one that got away got him arrested.

[A]

Ted Bundy.

[B]

Ted Bundy had one get away. I've never had one get away.

[A]

I don't think so either. They're gone for a reason.

[B]

Well, exactly. Brad, you saying that's scary.

[A]

Whoa, whoa, wait a minute.

[B]

They don't come back for a reason. Have you had other one that got away 5? No, I'd like to.

[A]

I don't.

[C]

Oh, yeah. In my twenties.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

I don't think so.

[B]

Absolutely. But that's just a bad breakup. One that got away as well.

[C]

No, it was a good breakup, but.

[B]

Yeah, but, like, if she called now, if you were available, you would. That's. That's the one that got away.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Is that you lament for years and then you want to rekindle it if it happens?

[C]

I guess so.

[A]

I. I Don't. Because, I mean, you know, maybe at first you think about that, but then, like, after looking at hindsight, you're like, there's a reason why that. You know, Come on.

[B]

You get closure on it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And if it's still lingering, it just means you never got over it. That's the one that got away. And I know people are like, man, if I get another shot with that person, it'd be great. I know for a fact no one wants to do that with me, so I better. Why waste my time thinking of the one that got away? Because can you imagine that you go to get to the one that got away, and she looks at you like, this is not mutual. I'm calling the police. Now. You're just a guy on someone's porch.

[A]

You don't think. Bright Adams girl sitting there thinking about that for me?

[B]

No. She's thinking, how do I steal more painkillers? She's not thinking about me at all. In fact, what probably drove her to painkillers was me. She was busy plagiarizing songs as love notes, and she found that happy medium of Dilaudid and ended up thinking about that more than anything else. The one that got away was, you know, her dealer.

[A]

All right, let's jump into crazy broad news.

[B]

I think we just did.

[A]

Well, that's true, too. We'll continue on then.

[B]

I wonder if she still recognizes my voice, because it's. Evidently, it's just completely different.

[A]

A Florida woman was arrested for throwing dozens of used feminine hygiene products on her ex's lawn.

[B]

She saved up. This means this is intent. This is when murderers have been plotting. How many?

[A]

It's unclear the exact amount, but didn't even count them. Reports say there were between 75 to 100 tampons.

[B]

Oh, my God. All right, that's 20 periods. Unless she's going heavy flow three, four times a day.

[A]

Yeah, I don't.

[B]

How many do girls go through in a week when they're having a real bad one? Like 10. They got a glop out. Two or three a day if they're having a tough think. And then it gets light. So first day, maybe two, second, third, three. So you're at nine. Nine a period. So let's go there. Yeah. She's hitting seven periods before she find. And she had him in some Ziploc in her fridge. Maybe Tripp's right. Maybe I shouldn't do this anymore.

[A]

So she. She was arrested for this because they. They caught her on security cam, you know, your blank cameras or whatever out There. She initially denied it until they showed her the footage of her truck pulling away. And she. She tried to throw her mom and aunt under the bus, saying it was their idea.

[B]

It could have been.

[A]

Possibly. She's also.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

She's a local firewoman.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

She's paid on paid or. She's been placed on paid leave, and she's been charged with two counts of misdemeanor stalking.

[B]

She didn't get, like, a littering charge?

[A]

I guess not.

[B]

Isn't that a fire hazard?

[A]

You would think she should know.

[B]

I mean, I would light myself on fire if I walked in my front yard and found 75 used tampons.

[C]

Oh, what happened here?

[A]

I call Hazmat.

[B]

First off, it'd be like, where's the puppy?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, your whole front yard would be just puppies. Just chowing down on those. They love them. Oh, that's horrible. Well, she needs to go to jail.

[A]

Oh, 100.

[B]

Like, that's sociopath stuff.

[A]

How about five signs you walked into a bad bar?

[B]

Okay, five signs you walked into a bad bar. Well, I know one sign. I've actually lived it. The lesbian owner pushes you in the back.

[A]

I did not make Little Mark.

[B]

Mark McGuire. Five signs. You were the smell. I think the first thing would be smells of fish. There you go.

[A]

Lack of cleanliness in organization. We'll go with that. Dirty glassware, dusty bottles on the shelves, sticky bar top.

[B]

Another sign you've walked into a bad bar. Off track. Betting did not make the list. It's in there. You got a bad bar.

[A]

Must be number six.

[C]

Come on. You enjoyed your time up at. What was it, Castaways up here with the OTB that day.

[B]

The guy was going to stab another guy.

[C]

Who's going to stab the guy? I thought he was gonna stab you.

[B]

For opening day of baseball. He had a bet on a. On a carriage race in Florida. And he. This guy, this dude, and he was mad that it lost. And he had a knife on his hip, and we thought he was gonna start to stab him. It was Mark Sanchez. Yeah. Otb. I told that lady that ran Brenda's Inferno. That was once the Armadillo Grill. After they.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Well, yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

But I told her, I said, this is nice what you've done here, because she was on bar rescue. And I remember, she goes, what do you think? And, like, it looks beautiful. I'm like, but you still have a problem. She goes, what? And I'm like, over there. And it looked like, you know, people who were on a. Like, a merchant marine ship. Or like, like these were just old sailors. Like, you see those old pirate movies. The dudes who rode that was all sitting in one tooth. They had bandanas around a patch over their eye and they're OTB in. And I'm like, you got to get rid of that or we're not coming. Like, people like me won't come back because they're angry a lot as their life ain't working out and they're trying. They're chasing money. Like you don't want people chasing their bills in your restaurant. Medicaid, kupd, Holmberg's morning sickness. It's such a huge money maker. I'm like, well then become an OTP.

[A]

And you're doing something wrong.

[B]

Exactly. Then the other thing you should be making money is because her food got good. Everybody's good. She was so nice. But she asked me and I told her for true, it's the OTB people. And the worst part was the TVs for OTB events were on the west wall. The OTB bedding desk was on the east. So everybody, everybody had to walk through the bar to go make a bet. And these were some super filthy people. And they did. And how you doing? Every time they'd walk by and like.

[A]

I mean, these are pretty good. Actually. Number five was a general lack of knowledge.

[B]

Genital.

[A]

Like. No, general. Oh yeah. Like basic skills. Like you may tell somebody making old fashioned to kind of look at you.

[B]

Like, oh, yeah, yeah. They basically make margaritas and yeah. Dory sours.

[A]

Bartender has an ego. I'm not a bartender. I'm a mixologist.

[B]

One of those. Yes.

[A]

Let's see here. No one says hi. You just. Oh, too many signature cocktails. A few is fine, but too many is a sign. None of them are very.

[B]

We're not talking about dive bars.

[A]

We're talking about going to those bars in general. Just bars in general.

[C]

Cheesecake Factory type, man.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

All gays did not make the list. That's a sign. I know I've walked into a place I shouldn't be. 93. 3 Want a drink?

[A]

And there's a few of these. And I told you one before we went on the air. But we'll do like a. Back in this day, on October 7th, 17 years ago, Spotify officially launched.

[B]

This is the best day to do that, by the way, is what it is. Because two years ago was kind of a. The winner for October 7th. Yeah, that was one of them. What do you want me to do?

[A]

Just give the creature and create the day.

[B]

Guido news what do you want me to do?

[A]

I didn't. I didn't create the day.

[B]

There's been more than just one bad October 7th. Anyway, Spotify kicked.

[A]

Well, here. Let's just kick it more in the nuts. Five years ago in 2000 and 20, getting closer, Adam Sandler's Hubie Halloween was released.

[B]

All right. The second worst. October 7th in my lifetime.

[A]

Schwarzenegger was elected governor of California 22 years ago.

[B]

That was 22 years ago.

[A]

20 years ago, Boy George was arrested for having 13 bags of coke in his apartment.

[B]

Wow. How long ago was that?

[A]

It was 20 years ago. Okay, 57 years ago. Red letter date, 1968. The motion picture association of America adopted its film rating system ranging from G.

[B]

To X. X was the fitness and I think. Was it the Exorcist? That was first.

[A]

It was supposed to be, but they edited it down so it could be.

[B]

An R. That's right.

[A]

That's good enough.

[B]

I'm done.

[A]

I'm done here. I'm done with this one.

[B]

Dan. Dad's that. How you doing? All right. Yeah. Don't go back two years because it's a nasty anniversary. I think it would be nice if they bookended October 7th nightmare of two years ago by signing the peace deal today. That would be a nice round thing to make it, you know, and that's what politicians look for, is like stories. It sure would be great if that whole thing ended. I'm not seeing that happening for real, but it would sure be nice. Trump was on last night. We're really looking at me fixing 3,000 plus years of trouble. I'm like, he's not wrong. If he can pull this off and it actually works, I just. It.

[C]

Will it work if it sticks? Yeah. Like you're saying.

[B]

But Anyway, Spotify started 17 years ago. Let's focus on that October. Yeah, exactly.

[C]

Brady's presence is still felt. He sent me two.

[B]

Okay. Oh, he got videos today. All right.

[C]

Me two videos.

[B]

So this is like. This looks like something.

[C]

I'm just gonna play him. I have no context.

[B]

Okay. This looks like a. A painting has come to life. It's like a family walking through a field. Oh, Jesus. And insert the silverback gorilla that just starts pushing these people around. And this is not AI they're wandering around dressed like the Von Trapps. And evidently they're in Brazil.

[C]

Wow. Africa.

[B]

Is it? I don't know where those people are. They aren't?

[C]

No.

[B]

You sure?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Okay. Well, he's mad at Jane Goodall. Died a couple days ago, so boom, man. He takes out one of the von traps, though the hills are alive with the holies. What's that?

[C]

Brady's dream scenario. Him and the whole family.

[B]

It touched me.

[C]

Here's the second one. All right, this is a full on Brady.

[B]

There's something weird in the middle of the street. Oh, it's an Indian man in the puddles of street water, and he's reaching down and he's eating stuff out of the storm sewer drain. The side of the street is covered in rainwater and slop, and this dude is scooping it up and. Oh.

[C]

Right in front of the fresh food market. He's getting more dirt and more John.

[B]

Sitting in front of fresh fruit.

[C]

Oh, God.

[B]

Oh, my God. That. That Nation.

[C]

First comments on there. That's India's final boss.

[B]

He is scooping up. What do they call it, like the. The side of the road where the water gathers the drain?

[A]

Yeah, the gutter.

[B]

Yeah, gutter. The gutter. And there's mud and strings and 75 tampons from a fire lady's house. That would be a meal to him. Protein, nutrients, good iron in these bloody little white things. All right, Bert, what do you got?

[A]

All right, we're late. In no particular order.

[C]

Oh, we're good.

[B]

No, I know, because we got spots up.

[A]

Yeah, you're welcome. You're welcome. Me and Toledo did that.

[B]

I barely recognize the voice of my own headphones. You got to give me a break. Today.

[A]

Somebody found Brady walking around Ohio.

[B]

That guy dressed as Spider Man. That is Brady. Oh, my God. That is Brady. It's a vaudevillian.

[A]

And the dance and everything else.

[B]

Mug for the camera.

[A]

We still got Brian Adams playing. Here, let me kill that.

[B]

It. Somehow another worked.

[A]

I know.

[B]

With Brady Spider man wandering around Athens, Ohio.

[A]

All right, jump over there. I don't know what this is.

[B]

All right, this is a woman. And Is that a bathtub? It's an old lady. Well, it's an old vagina on a woman. Oh, God. That's a system. Did that used to be a fella? I don't know what this is, but there's a toy attached to another mechanism, and she's in a shallow bathtub with no water in it. She looks like David Byrne from the Talking Heads. That used to be a guy. Oh, the rosebud is beat up. That dude eating out of the gutter was eating fresher stuff than what I'm looking at. Oh, my God. And this is just.

[A]

Is this gonna start having fun now?

[B]

Oh, it's just going in and out of whatever the hell that is. That used to be a man. I think we're looking at a reconstructed situation here. And it's not in the rosebud. It's going in the manhole. It's going in the manhole. The fingers are now. Oh, my God. Oh, it's got two parts, and this former dude is. Oh, for Christ's sake, Brett. Oh, my God. Ah. I didn't need to see David Byrne doing that. You may ask yourself, where did my dick go? All right, next little car action. We got motorcycles and mopeds and a semi truck. This is a terrible nation. Oh, yeah. Oh, there's a car that's run into a light pole. It's actually relatively nice. Suv.

[C]

Somebody's in it.

[B]

Oh, no, there'll be a motorcycle.

[C]

Oh, that's a person.

[B]

Oh, that's a person. They cut a person in half at the front of a tundra. Okay, that's not. Wow. There's a person got smooshed up against that light pole.

[A]

They sent this one to me because apparently this is. This is me on the west side.

[B]

All right, we are at a drive through. It looks like a drive through of some sort. A car pulls up next to the car in the drive through. I think I'm getting this right.

[A]

They called it an Italian pizza.

[B]

Now another. Oh, they walk. Oh, this is. Oh, my God. The guy just lit up the car with a rifle of some sort of automatic weapon. And just. Wow. That I didn't expect. Did that have no sound? That's a surveillance thing. He's still standing outside the car Load. Oh, he reloaded and came back and did more. He hates that car. There's a dude on the other side some.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Oh, this is fresh out of a Scorsese. Oh, yeah, this. Oh, now he opened the door and he keeps shooting. I'm gonna ask a dumb question. Guy inside. Okay, yeah.

[A]

Oh, there you go.

[B]

Oh, no, there's a picture of the guy that. All right, I don't need to see that. Oh, these are violent. Go back to that old man in the bathtub again. That was nice.

[A]

This one's called stop, drop, and roll.

[B]

All right. Oh, somebody's on fire in the front yard, and somebody inside's just filming it. There's a guy in their yard rolling around on fire, and they're just filming it from the window. Go out and put a hose on him. Yes. Oh, they're Russian. They don't go outside for anybody. Somebody deserved it. Go hose him off. Do you have hoses in your crappy country?

[A]

They Just.

[B]

That's how that ends. Yeah. They shut the blinds. Yeah.

[A]

Hey, none of my business.

[B]

Yes, it is none of my business. It's international news now.

[A]

There you go. This is a Halloween spirit for you.

[B]

All right. The lady holding the. Was that a tarantula? Oh, she just eaten a tarantula. Oh. Oh, she's chewing it. She seems to like it. She's a Pacific Islander of some sort.

[A]

That's your next vacation.

[B]

Toledo's next international meal. That's your cuisine. Okay, what am I looking at? This is all over the map.

[A]

Oh, yeah, we're all over today.

[B]

Okay, here's a close up of a. All right. It sounds like she's shooting arrows. Is that a lady part? Yes.

[A]

It's not a fart. Let's just say.

[B]

All right. Yeah. Stop it. 93. 3. Wow.

[A]

And we'll just end with this one. Do you want me to play it again?

[B]

No, it's. What? Yeah, it sounded like movie sound effects of an arrow. Like, not this part. Yeah, that part. And hitting a bullseye. That. And then it hits the bullseye. It's just a lady shooting arrows in a cartoon. It's a bullseye again. You hear the. Through the air. It's like Bryan Adams in the Three Musketeers movie. Or Robin Hood or whatever it was.

[A]

And we'll end with this one. This one's entitled that's How Sausage is made.

[B]

This is how sausage gets Made. Oh, no. All right, we've got. What is that bowl under a butt? Oh, it's a bag under a butt. Oh, and she's pooping out hot dogs. Perfectly clean pink hot dogs. 4. Four hot dogs in a bag. Oh, they're gonna take these and eat them, aren't they? Oh, no. Okay, good. The video started over. It loops back to just. Okay. I was worried they were gonna have a barbecue and stuff and feed them to people. Those things. That's a big ass, too. That's cardi b sized. It's clean, though. Yeah. It's spotless.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Those are.

[A]

You and Marlon would be proud. Clean.

[B]

Yep. Me and Marlon Wayans both have very clean behind. Well, there you go. Thanks, Bert. Interesting. He took over for Brady while Brady's not here. And that is your guido report. I screwed it up to start, but there you go. It's 8. 48. It's 98. KUPD. Thanks, Brad. Hey, it's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually.

[C]

No membership fees.

[B]

I have heard enough of this.