10-07-25 - FULL SHOW - TUESDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – October 7, 2025

Episode Summary: The Jew-wop Show Day 2 (Brady Out, AI In, and Arizona Nostalgia)

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Episode Overview

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness ("HMS") is defined by John Holmberg's self-aware humor and banter with co-hosts Brett Vesely and Larry, as they attempt to entertain Arizona while co-host Brady Bogen is away visiting family in Ohio. The show covers a mix of tongue-in-cheek personal stories, pop culture, irreverent perspectives on technology—particularly AI, and plenty of Arizona-centric nostalgia, all delivered in the fast-and-loose style longtime listeners expect. Notably, the crew explores how AI is being hilariously (and sometimes questionably) used by the masses, the end of “local” for the Arizona Republic, and the ever-present march of time—both in voices and technology.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

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1. The Worm in John’s Brain: The “Changing Voice” Debate

Timestamps: [00:08] – [06:58]

• Premise: John opens the morning rattled by a comment from station boss Tripp Reeb, who told him he sounds “different”—deeper, more mellow—on more recent best-of eps compared to old tapes.
• Nostalgia & Self-Doubt: The team jokes about aging voices and the subtle horrors of listening to one’s own tapes. Brett notes—grimly and humorously—that old recordings of co-host Brady are especially “interesting,” referencing brain fog and aging.
• Studio Changes: John and Brett both mention that the studio’s technical upgrades might affect their sound, leading to a semi-serious debate about audio “compression.”
• Quotable:
  • "Maybe the old tapes sound sped up because they're not compressed through a microphone." (John, [01:43])
  • “I honestly hate to say it, but in the old ones, you and Eric sound alike.” (Brett, [07:04])
• Outcome: John spends much of the show comically self-conscious and referencing the “saber strike” to his confidence.

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2. Stories from the Homefront: Farting Neighbors and the Motherland

Timestamps: [13:00] – [17:54]

• John recounts an awkward encounter: After loudly farting and singing “Rooster” by Alice In Chains in the driveway of his rental, he’s confronted by a neighbor—and then accidentally spills sparkling water in his lap in full view of another neighbor’s child, appearing as “the guy who tries to kill neighborhood kids.”
• Reflects on Brady’s absence and family bonds: He discusses Brady's trip to Ohio with his daughter Kirby, theorizing about parental connections and the difficulty of being away from loved ones.
• Notable Moment:
  • "That water was freezing ... right through ice cold water to the balls ... that poor little kid, he just saw a madman with crazed eyes aiming a car at him.” (John, [16:56])

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3. Alien DNA and “What If” Thinking

Timestamps: [19:48] – [29:00]

• John dives into a viral article about “alien DNA” in people claiming abduction.
  • “They did a genetic test of their DNA and there’s ... some non-parental strains in here, some sort of anomaly ... for the sake of the story, they're saying it's alien DNA.” (John, [20:19])
• The crew debates the plausibility of aliens, ghosts, and even religion as belief systems:
  • “Aliens seem more reasonable than religion, than what I’ve been presented with.” (John, [27:47])
  • Larry is the resident skeptic.
• Quick tangent: Over-the-top rhetorical pondering about ghost towns, Arizona’s Jerome, and the mythos of Arizona landmarks.

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4. Apocalyptic Math and Changing Calendars

Timestamps: [30:50] – [35:12]

• Riffs on recent doomsday prophecies: A pastor’s failed September 23rd prediction is pushed to October 7–8, with much mirth over Gregorian vs. Julian calendar math and Jesus not knowing how to convert time zones.
  • “If Jesus knows everything, he would at least call and say, ‘what time is it there?’” (John, [34:05])
• Observational irony: Arizona’s state holidays, the progression of time, and how calendar oddities create both confusion and fodder for radio comedy.

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5. Arizona Nostalgia: The Death of Local Print and Amusement Parks

Timestamps: [39:04] – [46:49]

• Major local moment: Arizona Republic will no longer print in Arizona—papers to be printed in Vegas and driven in.
  • “By the time you get the paper, it was driven five hours ... yesterday’s news today.” (John, [40:00])
• Discussion: Closing of Legend City amusement park and memories of how the Phoenix-Mesa area has evolved from “RubeTown, USA.”
• Notable Quote:
  • “It was Rubetown, USA ... Dave Pratt was entertainment to the masses ... absolutely no thought into anything I say.” (John, [47:03])

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6. AI Outrage—Hitler, Hawking, and the Rise of Absurd Machine Comedy

Timestamps: [51:32] – [71:50]

• The show’s emotional centerpiece: John loses an hour to viral AI videos—Hitler quarterbacking the Chiefs, Jesus on a skateboard, Stephen Hawking in the X Games and UFC, Bob Ross wrestling Mr. Rogers, and more.
• Meta-humor and ethical musings: They note the speed at which general public has used powerful video AIs (like “Sora”) for absurd, offensive, and darkly funny memes rather than for potentially world-changing good.
  • “If this is what AI does for us, count me in. … My favorite thing in the world right now: Hitler, Jesus, and Hawking. Great band name, too.” (John, [55:24])
  • “The only dangerous thing … is that people will start thinking Hitler’s funny. … Maybe it softens what Hitler is.” (John, [59:00])
• Honest self-reflection: John worries about history repeating itself in comedy, softening real evil, but delights in gallows humor as “a relief valve” for society’s anxiety.
• Memorable Quotes:
  • "These are awful, what you're pulling up. ... We're a terrible group. Just terrible." (John, [61:46])
  • "If you can't laugh at Stephen Hawking or even Hitler on a half-pipe ... that's what we need more of." (John, [74:47])

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7. Taco Tuesday, Halloween, and “The One That Got Away”

Timestamps: [90:23] – [109:34]

• Taco chat: National Taco Day deals; best/worst taco toppings (olives are bad, lettuce and cheese controversially maligned online), and John’s sincere praise for gross Jack in the Box tacos when drunk.
• Halloween: Arizona is the nation’s least-spirited Halloween state; John laments the lack of decorations, candy buying stats, and local traditions.
• Relationships: The “one that got away” survey quickly devolves into true crime jokes about Bundy and Dahmer, ending with John’s resignation that “they’re gone for a reason.”

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8. Local Crazy News and Bits

Timestamps: [110:04] – [125:28]

• Florida woman arrested for unloading 75-100 used tampons on an ex’s lawn. Team debates logistics, ponders “sociopath stuff.”
• Signs of a bad bar: Dirty glassware, off-track betting, and bartender egos.
• On this day: October 7 anniversaries (Spotify launch, Hubie Halloween release, Schwarzenegger elected).
• Brady check-ins: A suite of “crazy” videos from Brady including gorilla attacks, gutter-diving food scavengers, and viral mishaps.

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9. Hot Releases: Music & Streaming

Timestamps: [140:00] – [159:47]

• Streaming: John Candy documentary (“I Like Me”) gets an emotional nod. Discussion of Netflix’s “Monster: The Ed Gein Story” prompts debate about true crime and women sympathizing with murderers.
• New music: Songs from Megadeth (“Tipping Point”) and Testament (“Shadowfall”) get played and critiqued.
• Absurd AI soul covers: The team revels in “Soul Biscuit” doing Limp Bizkit's “Nookie,” “Soul Zombie” covering Rob Zombie, and more.
  • John, awesomely: “There’s a whole station waiting for this ... I want to replace my entire catalog of music with this.” ([156:16])
• "N-word or F-word" game — The closing edgy, recurring segment.

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10. Entertainment Drill Highlights and Randoms

Timestamps: [163:51] – end

• Offspring tour announcement: with Bad Religion sparks some punk nostalgia.
• Actors hated by their cast: Jim Carrey (“Man on the Moon”), Bill Murray (“Charlie’s Angels”), Wesley Snipes (“Blade: Trinity”), Lindsay Lohan, and Jared Leto (“Suicide Squad”) all get called out for difficult on-set behavior.
• Celeb birthdays: Notables include Mookie Betts, Brie Olsen, Taylor Hicks, and Joy Behar, with the usual deadpan humor about adult film “expiration dates.”
• Final Arizona signoff: John pokes fun at the temporary “Jew-wop Show” and dreams of Katie Hobbs shutting it down for good.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "Maybe the old tapes all sound sped up because they're not compressed..." – John ([01:43])
• "If that was air, it was square." – John, post-fart ([13:40])
• "All those people who are abducted by aliens ... they did a genetic test ... for the sake of the story, they're saying it's alien DNA." ([20:19])
• "If you can't laugh at Stephen Hawking or even Hitler on a half-pipe ... that's what we need more of." ([74:47])
• "Arizona Republic ... printing in Vegas and driving 'em here; that's more cost-effective than having your own press." ([40:13])
• "My favorite thing right now: Hitler, Jesus, and Hawking. Great band name, too." ([55:24])
• "These are awful, what you're pulling up. ... We're a terrible group. Just terrible." ([61:46])
• "I spent an hour watching Hawking on that pipe." ([72:02])
• "Hitler AI—come on ... we did it with Hitler shaking hands with Patrick Mahomes. I don't know why." ([58:31])
• "We're a terrible group who occasionally has the nerve to clutch our pearls about what someone says ... the muffins are out of the tin, dude." ([62:43])
• "Nobody beautiful in their mid-to-late 20s is working at a chain restaurant ... Valtrex." ([128:14])

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Overall Tone & Spirit

Raucous, irreverent, fiercely self-effacing, and quintessentially local, this episode offers a blend of old-school radio silliness and sharp social commentary on both modern technology (AI humor and dangers), Arizona’s changing landscape, and pop culture. The episode strikes a balance between genuine nostalgia, gallows humor, and knowingly inappropriate bits—anchored by the crew’s unique chemistry and John’s gift for spinning the everyday into an event.

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Recommended Segments by Topic/Theme:

• AI Absurdities and Pop Culture Outrage: [51:32]–[75:47]
• Arizona Nostalgia (Media, Legend City): [39:04]–[47:03]
• John's Personal Stories & "Changing Voice": [00:08]–[06:58]; [13:00]–[17:54]
• Taco Tuesday, Halloween, Toppings & Traditions: [90:23]–[109:34]
• Hot Releases & AI Soul Covers: [140:00]–[159:47]

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For a taste of classic HMS, don't miss the AI segment, the "farting neighbor" story, and John’s aching over voice changes—then stay for the blend of local color and mockery that make the show a Radio Hall of Fame mainstay.

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Transcript

[Larry]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[John Holmberg]

It's John Holbert here. Time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group and Doug Hopkins dot com. I just sat down with TVs Doug Hopkins and we did some TV commercials while we're watching football. So you get to see me sit next to Doug and somehow or another make Doug look pretty. And I'm happy to do it, too. I bought and sold houses using Doug Hopkins. So I've been through the process and he's the real deal. He is not going to cancel or change the game with fine print contingencies. Simple cash offer and the deal is done. Start the process [e-mail] or grab the phone and sing. Call Doug Hopkins. 1, 802 now Holmberg's Morning Sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil. Sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. 98 the Eve of Pity. Good morning, everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Tuesday. It's 5:45. My name's John. No, Brady again. He's in Ohio with his mom. There's Brett Toledo's back today. He knows what day's work are. Now he's back again. So we got that going for us. And I'm self conscious because I sat down with Tripp yesterday. Oh, yeah. And he said, you know, I listen to the best of when you're not around and you sound different when it's now. And I'm like, what do you mean? He goes, you sound. I don't know, your voice is deeper and you've kind of just mellowed. And so now I'm like thinking, well, what? What did I sound like? What do I sound like now? Was it good or bad? Which one was good and which one was bad? Were they both good? Now I've got to. Now I'm just gonna go ahead and go back to this darn thing and screw it.

[Larry]

Was he listening to a kiss 12:30 impersonation?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, maybe something.

[Larry]

I mean, yes, maybe he was.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe Johnny Midnight was on the air. How y' all doing? Kiss 12:30? I don't know, but it made me self conscious. But I told him, I said, maybe the old tapes all sound sped up because they're not compressed through a microphone.

[Brett]

It could be that because there's a lot of people that were wondering what Brady Was on because I played. I played Brady stuff from like 15, 16 years ago.

[John Holmberg]

Well, look, that's age.

[Brett]

That's what I'm saying.

[John Holmberg]

Brady was on his late 30s is what that was. Sounded clear, actually. Geez. Brady was on his 40s at that point, but still. Look, we all know that there's some brain fog going on there a little bit. He's got some stuff going, but still, that just got under my. It's brood. So I'm sitting there now. Now I'm hearing myself in my ears. I'm like, well, now what? You know how everybody. Everybody listening is like, oh, you hear yourself on tape. You're like, is that me? Same. I can't listen to this crap.

[Larry]

I can't kiss 12:30 at. Man, I'm telling you.

[John Holmberg]

I just have to be smooth all day long. All night long, baby. You know how it is. Smooth like a shaved scrot, girl. That's Kiss 1230's new motto. Smooth as a shaved scrotum. Here's some Lou Rawls. God damn it. No, no, God damn it. I couldn't have said it. That's just the one that pops to mind every time. Yeah, he said we were sitting there yesterday and he took me. Oh, for Christ's sake. You know, it triggers it. It does. It's 5:47, first thing in the morning here. Hopefully I still sound the same as I always have to your beautiful ears. Phoenix. Oh, it's a beautiful day outside. Hope Tripp Reeb's listening this morning and understanding that I don't know what to do now that you've entered this worm into my brain, making me feel like my. My voice sounds funny, like I've got some alien DNA or something like that. Don't matter to me. It's 70 degrees. I didn't get my Kiss 1230. I am different. I am different. He's right. I can't post no more. I'm. Oh, I'm in a slump. Quiet down, Lou. I wasn't done yet. Anyway, so now I'm conscious of everything. And normally, you know, when somebody says something like that to me, I grab my glasses and I put them on just to see if I give a. But I do, damn it. Absolutely do. But I don't know.

[Brett]

Did you point to the ratings?

[John Holmberg]

Was it like imus? I don't know. Is it like. Like, remember, I'm a shot. Am I having that standing outside? I remember when he used to sound. And now I just. Now he kind of preyed on me. And almost like he said, you sound really slow and old. I think you were listening to Brady. That's not me, is it? I don't know.

[Brett]

Can I go find old tapes of Kevin and Bean? Maybe. Maybe it's his effect.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Maybe he wears me down. Maybe I'm just too a nub.

[Larry]

You gotta be fun.

[John Holmberg]

But today I'm probably gonna be a lot of fun. A lot of false energy without realizing I'm actually doing it. Hi. Hi, buddy. There we go. I know. I don't. I don't know what the difference is, but I also think that there's a difference in the studio.

[Brett]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Over the last couple years, that there's something that they changed in here that I hear.

[Brett]

But I don't know if it's better.

[John Holmberg]

Well, no. Well, see, now you're doing it.

[Brett]

No, no, no.

[John Holmberg]

Why don't we go back on vacation? Isn't it Saturday to you? I don't know what days it is. Yeah, it's. I. Yeah, it feels gated. Yeah. Like something's on. And it has for a while. I got used to it. But I remember when it first I'm like, something's different. And I thought my headphones were funny or something. It's cleaner.

[Brett]

Our old shows are definitely more compressed because I'll bring you up the files and you can just tell by looking at them.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can look on the. On the wave thing. I don't know. I don't know how it works. Anyway, welcome back to the Juwop extravaganza. Today with a side of toast and juwap is the show we're doing without Brady this week as he's back in Ohio and people very worried that Brady dropped dead. Me emails are like, where's Brady? What happened? I didn't hear the beginning. He's. He just went back. His mom had an operation of harmless hip one. But they've been through a lot, the two of them, over the last couple months, and I think they just needed to be mother and son together in a room for a little bit. And of course, Kirby went along to go look at schools in Ohio and again, not happen.

[Brett]

If that happens, she needs to be a bobcat.

[John Holmberg]

What? I don't know. Pass on the legacy. I mean, clearly it's such a prestigious. It's a school that really leaves you educated.

[Brett]

Tom Brennaman.

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah, they got good. I'm not saying they don't have any. Oh. I'm just saying, you know, as evidenced, there's not a strict standard for at least handwriting. One of those branches curved yeah, somewhere along there. But I. Kirby's gonna. If Brady. If Kirby goes to Ohio for school. You think the kidney thing was bad? He will become a tumor. He's not. He's not going to make it with her going on a table. He'll be live from Ohio. He'll move back to Ohio.

[Larry]

That's exactly what'll happen.

[John Holmberg]

He'll do.

[Brett]

He'll did it during COVID He'll say, I can do it.

[John Holmberg]

He'll. Chrissy Hine when I went back to Ohio. Anyway, it's an interesting thing, but I don't know how I sound anymore. So it's all just. I'm screwed up.

[Larry]

Three different people saying the same thing too.

[John Holmberg]

That I sound terrible?

[Larry]

Well, no, just different.

[John Holmberg]

Just different than what? I don't know.

[Larry]

Then the old tapes.

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah, old tape. Listen to yourself. Listen to yourself on an old tape. Grab a note. It's like if it's not digital because you run it off of an old thing that runs on a new thing. So it's grabbing the. I don't know.

[Brett]

Well, some of that stuff. Remember we had to run on cassette tape.

[John Holmberg]

Yes.

[Brett]

Oh, and if it didn't get flipped, we didn't get the other half of the show.

[John Holmberg]

If you were 15 years ago, you were running on the best of that is going to sound like. Yeah, it might as well just be.

[Brett]

There was a couple of Brady Report stories that were from 2006.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. See those. Those have to sound like, you know, today we're out of Thunderc and Brett Bentley as our overnight guy. Boy, it's getting on. I really enjoy Brett's company. President Roosevelt and I had a nice chat. We've got a bulletin. The bulletin is coming in right now. Oh, my. Yeah, if you're going back that far and he's comping those things. What was I, 14 in 2006? That's not fair. May. I got my head. So I took my glasses off because I did give a. Yeah, you do sound different. I honestly hate to say it, but in the old ones, you and Eric sound alike. You son of a. The only difference I've noticed in your old tapes is your beak comes through a lot stronger in the old ones. Yeah, okay. Thanks, Cody. That's true. You can't really hear the beak.

[Brett]

Is it banging in the mic all the time?

[John Holmberg]

That's right, you prick. Cody, speaking of beaks, did you guys watch the game last night?

[Larry]

I didn't.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, a bunch of. Did you? Oh, Trevor Lawrence and I have a big nose. We've We've established it.

[Larry]

They're gonna come in now.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

See the divot he left when he dove into the end zone?

[John Holmberg]

Well, his nose. Yeah, his nose probably leaves some marks like a golf club, but right about two minutes left in the game, they did a sideline shot of Trevor Lawrence. This dude's nose is big. I mean, it's disturbingly big. He had two fingers in a nostril, and they stayed on it for 14 seconds as he dug. You go on. It's everywhere. He picked his nose. Now, normally there's a camera on, like, 14 different things during a football game. I don't know how many cameras they tote around for each live broadcast, a guy will hit a shot like, we got to get a shot of Trevor Lawrence. And there he is, and he'll reach up and grab his nose. He had two fingers in his nose and he was going. He didn't eat it. Which is great because that was what I thought was gonna happen. But normally the directors like, crowd shot or you know, you know, go to camera two. Go to. Look at the depth he's getting with thumb and finger. Wow. On that, he is digging.

[Brett]

Maybe.

[John Holmberg]

It's like you.

[Brett]

You pull hairs that way.

[John Holmberg]

Hairs hang out, though. You have to pull them. Whichever. I can't get.

[Brett]

You don't go in.

[John Holmberg]

I can't get boogers with a thumb. And my nostrils are big, but they're not big enough for that dude. And I did like multiple. I did like. Oh, he. He wouldn't stop picking. It was. I'm not kidding, 13, 14 seconds where he was deep in that nose. And they just stayed on the shot the whole time.

[Brett]

I was that shot for 14 seconds.

[John Holmberg]

And he's tearing into it. His head's doing bobs and watch it. The best quote I saw frozen. It wasn't the worst pick he had all night.

[Larry]

You're not lying. Yeah, that profile.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. No, that beak is. No, he's got a huge. And it's long. It's really long.

[Brett]

Wow, that's a man.

[John Holmberg]

It's a big beak, but it's big enough for a thumb and a finger. And he was using both. And I mean, going in, it was. It was deep. So, yeah, they go to ABC. ESPN doesn't pull off. They've got 20 something cameras in the whole building and they. The director didn't one time go, all right, enough of this director's like, hold. Yeah, just a camera four. Now go. Anything? Crowd shot. Sky. The moon. It was a full moon. Get me a shot of that. Somebody was Working and not all other cameras were like taking a second off. 14 seconds and nobody moved it. It was disgusting. And it was also hilarious. Hilarious. But yeah. So they. But. And then the end of the game was fantastic. Trevor Lawrence drops back to pass, falls down, gets up, falls down again, and then just starts running around, scores a touchdown. And the Chiefs are in trouble. My Steelers didn't play this weekend. Did nothing but win. Bills down, Ravens down. Bengals down. Chargers down. Chiefs down. The only one that won that we were like, maybe they're a thing are the Broncos.

[Brett]

Now you got to worry about the.

[John Holmberg]

Colts and the Colts and the Colts are good. Jags are. They're. I don't think they believe they're good yet. They're. They're. They could. They're learning. They played well last night, but I don't know if that's because the Chiefs are in some sort of weird thing or if the Jags actually played well. It was a good game. It's fun game. And man, I gotta hand it to YouTube and I don't know if DirecTV's doing this, but I dumped you DirecTV to get to YouTube. And YouTube TV has that multi view thing, quad box. Oh, you can do four, you can do two, you can do whatever you want. And I was watching baseball and football at the same time, just flipping sound back and forth. What a fantastic thing they've got going on there. That was awesome. It's just man night. It was a Monday night.

[Larry]

Sunday, two and three Chiefs.

[John Holmberg]

So I know who I guess I.

[Larry]

Never thought I'd see.

[John Holmberg]

It is awesome.

[Brett]

Love to see dynasties fall.

[Larry]

They're right above the Raiders.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's what Tripp said is happening here. I don't know. You sound like some sort of old slog. I think it's over. I don't know. Do you still want to do this? I'm like, why? I don't know. From the sound of it, you sound like. I don't know. Garbage would be the. I don't know. Is that a proper word? I don't know.

[Brett]

Is it passive aggression on his part?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. That was the thing. I. That's what I. I over larried it afterwards and I got all. I started thinking about it and I'm like, do I sound different? Do I have a Do I sound? So then the better part of this thing is yesterday I go over to the rental house because it was trash day, so I had to pull the bin back in. I've met no one in this neighborhood and I'M over there doing stuff, keeping the weirdest hours, and thought you met.

[Brett]

The guy that came over.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that was a weird line. The weird dude that was walking by that morning wanted to chat. So it's a carport and I have my Jeep in there. And I'm coming around the corner, I'm dragging the bin. And you know that sometimes you don't realize you're singing whatever song you just heard in your car. So I park, I go in there, I grab some stuff in there and I go out to get the bin. And I'm starting to walk out, I'm about to leave. It's like 4:30, I'm about to take off and so I put the bin in the. In the thing. But I'm singing like, here they come to snuff the rooster. And I'm singing it just louder. And I let out one of those tumbler as I'm walking.

[Larry]

You gotta check your drawers.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, one of those. Exactly like. You're like, that was. That had some. If that was air, it was square. Yeah, it had sharp edges. And I'm like, wow, that was a weird thing. But I didn't stop. It was a Toledo. It wasn't a. But it was speed buggy. So I'm walking along, I'm farting loudly, and I put the bin back and I go, hello, Hello. And I'm like, oh, no. On the other side of my Jeep is the neighbor. She's pruning something on her house. It's like she's got a bunch of vegetation there. And she comes, hi, we haven't met yet. And I swear I don't know this woman's name because all I'm thinking was like, the farting, because it was loud.

[Brett]

Couldn'T have been rumbling, have disguised it.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no, no, no. It was. It was after the bin had been placed. Oh. And then the. And then I'm like, you never find. I don't remember what I was singing, but it was loud and it was dumb. And you got to remember, my house I live in has the normal one. There's no neighbors, really. There's a big. I can fart. And Michael and Troy will sense it.

[Larry]

Well, they might enjoy it too.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, there's been a disturbance, but they don't. They won't necessarily hear it from driveway to driveway. This one is just a house next to a house. And so she heard it. There's no way she didn't. And I was worried it was following her, so I didn't hear a word she said. My brain's just like, oh, please don't stink, please. That was a square fart and it hurt. So she's like. I'm like, hi, nice to meet you. I told her what's going on with the house and she goes, that's lovely. If you need any help. I'm like, yep, I gotta go. So I hop in the jeep. The windows are down because it's beautiful. I just had this experience. I have an ice cold Waterloo black cherry water because I'm not drinking Coke anymore. And those are my replacement and I'm crushing them and they're good. And this thing came out of the fridge just perfectly cold. So I'm backing up. I get out of the driveway, windows down, no radio on anymore, and I one hand crack open the drink. Two houses over across the street, there's a kid standing there with no shirt on, just kind of on the like edge of the street and yard. I see him and I see the lady out of the corner of my eye to my left, the kids to my right, one house over. This got bad. So this lady's already like, geez, he really farted loud when he said that was awkward. As I'm cracking open the Waterloo, I go to grab it because I'm one handed. I had a hand on the thing and I'm leaning it down on the little cup holder. When I reach down to grab it, it starts to fall and I grip it real hard and squeeze the can and ice cold Waterloo spills all over my leg and my crotchal area. So the next thing this woman sees is me going speeding off and aiming a car at a child. It looked like I had completely lost my mind and I was. And it's aimed sideways. It's not, it's not straight yet. I straighten it out and I just weave down the road and I'm like, I can never go back to this house again. I look like I look like an insane person. The kid like, like looks like the car had to be coming right at him. That little bastard had to think it was nuts. Nobody knew I'd spilled this water on me. And then had they seen the end of it, which they didn't. Hysterical laughter by the end of the road. So that's how I introduced myself to the neighbor. That water was freezing. I just had a pair of like workout shorts on right through ice cold water to the balls. And that poor little kid, he didn't hear me. He just saw a madman with crazed eyes aiming a car at him right out of the driveway and smashing the gas.

[Brett]

I was hoping for a little fountain, little geyser came up out of the window.

[John Holmberg]

That would have been. Yeah, she just sees me. It looks like I just got done. I'm so beat off. Bye. No, just this weird. And thank God it was a Jeep, because anything faster, and I would have been in that kid's yard. It just makes noise. It doesn't really fly. They're quick, but they're not doing that. The kid just kind of took a few steps, like, is that guy aiming his car at me? New dude down the road's an asshole. So that's how I started off yesterday. I got Tripp telling me I'm a different man. I try to kill a child. There's farting on neighbors.

[Larry]

Did you drive right to Katrina's or. I mean.

[John Holmberg]

Cause I know. You know what's funny? I saw her earlier in the day, so I was like, yeah, yeah, it was just one of those.

[Larry]

Just be you, John.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Did an hour and a half with Katrina earlier. And, like, you know, it's really beneficial to have these moments with a therapist. And, you know, I used to kind of frown on it. Now I like it quite a bit. And thanks for making it. I left there feeling pretty good. A good 35 minutes of my session with Katrina yesterday was like, do I sound different? What do you mean? Do I like when I. When you first met me into now, am I different? Well, you're. You're. You're a better man, I think. No, no, not like that. Do I sound. I don't care about that. Do I sound different? Is my voice different? Do I sound like I. Do I sound like. I don't give a. That's what I think he was saying. I mean, 25 years, a long time to do a show. I mean, are you into it, or what are you talking about? And then he had the nerve, that old Q tip, to tell me, you just. It's just. You're older now. Me look, Methuselah. Anyway, so then it just. It. You know, as it does, it bounces off the walls and heads off into Dodger Cubs talk and things like that. So. Wasn't mean. It just got in my head. I don't know if he's at home going, he.

[Brett]

He got him by design.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I don't know what's going on. We'll see. But it was. It was very strange. And I just want to apologize to everyone who's not sure who I am, and I think I will just go with the. You know, I'll just Be the old liberal cuck. Just get it out of the way. Yeah, I know, but if we're going to sound different, let's do it. We'll just make. We'll go ahead and make it this way anyway. I don't know how that works, but it's a weird day, and it's just staying weird the whole time. Then I go home. Brett. Jesus.

[Larry]

You had a hell of a day.

[John Holmberg]

My God. No, I got. I got. This has nothing to do with. I got into a. Like a real deep rabbit hole and it was just. Hold here with me, all right? You know all those people who are abducted by aliens and we all. Oh, they're crazy. They're crazy. They're crazy. They did a study of 2,000 people who claim to have been abducted at one point or another.

[Larry]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

And they did another study of people who never claimed to be abducted in the study. And I don't know how real this actually is. I don't know if this is for the story or just for sensationalism. The 2032 people they studied that have claimed to be abducted by aliens had unidentifiable DNA inside of them. Them. What? Non parental.

[Larry]

You've been hanging out with Nash too long.

[John Holmberg]

I know that might be. That might be a thing, but it was unidentifiable alien DNA. And they called it alien because they're like, we're not familiar with what this is from. And they're. And they're like, see, they're like, we. We still don't. You're still too nuts to believe, but it says. Yeah, they did a genetic test of their DNA and there's like. Yeah, there's some non parental strains in here, like some sort of an anomaly. And every one of them that claimed to have been abducted and some who said they hadn't in this weird test. So they said 500. Well, this is the one thing. 581 families from the Thousand Genomes Project because they tested another thing off of like 23andMe. They're like, is this a normal thing? And so out of 1581 had this weird thing in it. And they're finding that this DNA, that they don't know what it is. I mean, for the sake of the story, they're saying it's alien DNA, which makes you think of aliens like E.T. yeah, yeah, but it's not necessarily that kind of alien. It's just, you know, foreign. And they can't. They can't place it.

[Larry]

Like Jose and Julio.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's exactly what I thought, too, Brad. Illegals. And you know what they're doing? They're stuffing their DNA. And your daughters. And they've been. Ask Dan Holmberg. Those people have been crossing the border jamming DNA and little white blonde girls for a long time. I told you that. No, it's. Yeah, it's not that kind of stuff. Okay. Or is it? But now we have to just sit and think to ourselves. And I know it's easy to dismiss and go, ah, now, what if they weren't lying? Where's the what if factor? I know you gave me the face immediately, but what if. Why did we discount it so quickly? What if we. And another story I saw they found vulture nests in a cave in Spain that are evidently 8 or 900 years old. And they have shoes in them and stuff from that time because it was in a cave and the cave didn't. You know, there's no sunlight, there's no rain. There's nothing. So it perfectly preserved all of these things. And they do these DNA tests. We're so quick to believe everything that they say. When it's like, well, the shoe is 750 years old, and this is how we know for sure. This and this. And then when they come out and say, well, these alien abductees are now. Yeah, I know it sounds nut. Maybe Trip's right. Maybe I've looked. I think the guy's lost his.

[Larry]

I'm trying to see Trips.

[John Holmberg]

But what if they're right? What if they're not lying and we have dismissed all of this and they could have unlocked a few doors that we didn't understand for such a long time. Then you have to wonder, are the aliens doing it on purpose? Like, can they look down and go, nobody's gonna believe it. Like, what Tripp did. He just. They, they, they pick something, and then they just make them sit in your mind. But there's. Nobody's gonna believe this guy. It's Mark Grace's slump buster thing. Bang the fattest girl you can when you're in a slump buster when she comes out and says, I've been having sex with him. And you're like, I wouldn't have sex with that. No one will believe the fat girl now there's DNA testing so very similar to the aliens. It's like, nobody's gonna believe these hilly hillbillies. And then the aliens didn't count on us having this technology. So they've been, you know, jamming DNA in people. All of them have had, like, I was Injected. I was probed. Alien DNA.

[Larry]

Did you walk around with some Ray Bans on like Rowdy Roddy Piper and they live yesterday or what?

[John Holmberg]

And I'm all out of bubble gum. Yeah, Here to kick ass and chew bubblegum. And I'm all out of bubble gum. I'm just saying what if. Morning sickness Medicate K u p D. It's John Holmberg here from the morning sick. Listen, it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of My Home Group and Doug Hopkins dot com. Sometimes Doug Hopkins can be a savior for people in bad situations. Doug's there to help. And the process will go fast. Cash offer for your home as is, no matter the circumstances. And a straight offer. The deal's done. Doug doesn't change that offer or cancel because of contingencies or any other reason and will back it up with a $5,000 guarantee. You can start the process [e-mail] or grab that phone and sing along. Call Doug Hopkins. 1-800-sale now. Holmberg's morning sickness. Maybe we should. Maybe we should look into this.

[Larry]

These aren't the aliens you're looking for.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, this one Ben has pointed out thing. Now, I'm not saying I'm out of your mind. I'm not saying I'm on board. In this black and white world, you can't have a conversation without people going, well, he's for this. And that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying, what if. I'm asking the precious question that no one asks anymore. What if? Ben says, it has been revealed that scientists have given the unknown DNA name a gene called bsc, which is known as the batch crazy gene. All right. That bad. That wasn't helpful at all scientifically. Not at all. But what if. Oh, this is. Maybe the crop dusting fart was in fact a result of you having been abducted, and that's why Tripp thinks you sound different. You've changed. Let's face it. Maybe Trip's like, are you one of us? Like, maybe Trip's one of them walking around in human skin and he's, like, sensing that maybe I've. I have not been abducted. I would like to have been, as.

[Larry]

Far as you know.

[John Holmberg]

Says all those abducted people listen to Katie kb Because I could identify that mystery DNA. It's not. It's not. It's not man juice. Anyway. It was. Yeah, it was It. Yeah. The Dude Juice. I wonder how they used to react when dude juice happened on the station a lot. Oh.

[Larry]

Oh, you sound a little Different.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah, it had to, like. It had to tingle him, like when Stephen Hawking went over speed bumps or something.

[Larry]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh. Why did you do that? Do it again, dude. Juice. Oh. That's how you know you're gay.

[Larry]

Sup?

[John Holmberg]

You hear that?

[Larry]

And you're like, we hear from the hall down the hall.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, no, that's true. Well, I mean, not anything new around here. I mean, that's how you know you're gay. 3 old DZ the second you hear that in your car, you know you're gay. And it's okay. There's nothing wrong with it. It just.93. 3. Tom Brennaman has a word. Anyway. Yeah, I'm just. I. You know. Do you. Do you believe in that?

[Larry]

Aliens?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Larry]

No.

[John Holmberg]

You don't believe there's aliens? You and Brady both?

[Larry]

No, I mean, you know, you don't believe those guys. You got to show it to me. Like, I don't. I'm not one of those what if guys.

[John Holmberg]

But what if? Such a great question. Now, you don't have a. What? You don't have a. You think this little dot floating around at a million miles an hour is all there is?

[Larry]

I don't know, but I. But I don't think. I don't know it's. Unless I see it, I don't believe it. It's kind of like the whole ghost thing.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, God.

[Larry]

When they're. Well, what do you. I mean, that same thing.

[John Holmberg]

Well, if you haven't seen that, that's how I am. But honestly, that's how I am with religion. Until you could be it too. Yeah, but aliens seem more reasonable than religion, than what I've been presented with.

[Larry]

What about ghosts?

[John Holmberg]

Again, what I've been presented with is less likely than another life form existing elsewhere on a planet because there's other planets. Like, you can't prove to me there's an ethereum until you can. You know, that's one thing people don't understand. I'm not staunchly against the idea of it. I just don't think what's been presented is enough for me to go, oh, I'm. I'm putting all my chips in.

[Larry]

Well, and I'm the same way. It's not that I. I'm not denying. I just haven't seen it. So I'm like kind of. It's.

[John Holmberg]

You don't believe. Yeah, in a certain thing. And that's how I am. I don't believe. That's. Theism means a lack of belief. It doesn't mean nothing. Nothing. Nothing like people want it to be. Agnostic means a lack of knowing. So knowing and believing are two different things.

[Larry]

So you believe in aliens more than ghosts?

[John Holmberg]

I believe in the possibility of alien. I believe in the possibility of ghosts. I just don't think they're doing what people think they.

[Larry]

You don't think they're at the Grand Hotel?

[John Holmberg]

No, I think. Well, because first off, it's called a ghost town, but not because there's ghosts there. It's because everybody abandoned it, so it's just this empty shell. But it's not.

[Larry]

It's tweakers and hippies.

[John Holmberg]

Tweakers, hippies. And it's jam packed with crap. And Jerome's. By the way, if you're new to the town, most overrated thing in Arizona is Jerome.

[Larry]

110%.

[John Holmberg]

You're so close to Sedona. Just go there. The view's nice. Drive up, turn around and leave Jerome is.

[Larry]

Is pointless on the backside of Mingus Mountains. Great gorge. Yeah, it's amazing. Then when you get there, have a.

[John Holmberg]

Beer and leave Jerome. Y. No, just pass. They're so close to good places. Bring beer. Go to Smiley Rock or go to Cottonwood. Cottonwood's great. There's Cottonwood. There's Cornville. Got a great burger place in Cornville anywhere. Jerome is such an overrated thing. But then they try to tell you there's ghosts there. And again, I can prove them wrong immediately by renting a room at that hotel, trashing it, and telling the front desk, hey, your ghosts trashed my room. And they'd be like, oh, come on. There's no ghosts up there. They'd still charge you. So you know that's true.

[Larry]

Nobody believes I charge Windfall Willie, the old prospector.

[John Holmberg]

I think people want ghosts to be real because then it feeds into their idea that when we die, we move on. And I really don't. I don't care if this is it. This is it. I spent. Like Mark Twain said it. This place has been going on thousands and millions of years before me. And I didn't. I don't have any feelings or memory about that. So I was essentially dead long before I was alive and that now I'm alive for this little blip on time. And if this is it, this is it. If I die, I go right back into that. I have no knowledge of it, so it doesn't scare me. That doesn't scare me either. I don't mind. I don't mind there being nothing. If there is. That'd be Lovely. But forever's a mighty long time, so they better have some great games up there. Great games. And speaking of, I don't know if you guys saw that. You know, how the world was supposed to end on September 23rd?

[Brett]

It didn't.

[Larry]

Oh, man.

[John Holmberg]

No, Toledo, it didn't. And you know what? We still have to come to work.

[Brett]

Damn it.

[Larry]

We shouldn't have showed up.

[John Holmberg]

Some of us do. Well, he didn't. Three day weekends.

[Larry]

Well, I was more referring to Brady over here.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no, he's. Yeah, he's off running. Well, because he thought the end of the world, so he planned a trip to go say goodbye to his mom. And Toledo very much may be on the same page as that pastor in Africa that predicted September 23rd and 24th were the last days on the planet. Because he said God came to him on his throne and told him.

[Larry]

His throne.

[John Holmberg]

No, he wasn't on a throne, I think. You know what? It's a good question. I don't know if it was his throne or God's throne. Somebody was on a throne, and they were chatting back and forth. Or maybe he was on the throne.

[Larry]

That's what I was thinking.

[John Holmberg]

And he's taking a deuce. And then Jesus is like, the world's going to make me. His poop smelled so bad. He's like, you're going to end the world if you keep this up. Thank good Jesus. So he said September 23rd and 24th, the world was going to come to an end. And then. And then he was embarrassed. And some people remember we were making fun. Sold their cars and got rid of property. And, like, they were all prepped for it. Okay, he's back. And he's back. Yeah. And you know that calendar Toledo uses for vacations? That's off. Evidently, it's Gregorian. Or we're Gregorian and that one's the other one, Julian or whatever. Now the guy's saying Jesus came to him and he goes, oh, that makes tons of sense. He's on the other calendar. God never switched to the Gregorian calendar like we did. He's. It's different. So he. He didn't do that.

[Larry]

He's gonna double down.

[John Holmberg]

No, no. So now it's October 7th and 8th. So today and tomorrow. Because that would be. They're figuring that Gregorian is different than the original calendar that Jesus used by about 14 days. So, yeah, we swapped out the Gregor to the Gregorian calendar because of, like, King Greg or something. I don't know.

[Larry]

Well, if that's the case, then Australia is gone. Right. Because they've already been October 7th for a minute.

[John Holmberg]

It would start. Yes. So he's wrong again, is what you're saying. Yeah, yeah, but he didn't say. He didn't say which time zone would get hit first. But we used to be on an old calendar.

[Larry]

Can this prick make up his mind?

[John Holmberg]

And Jesus, I guess, doesn't know everything because when he came back, Jesus. Jesus is digging his heels in on this old calendar. He won't even acknowledge the Gregorian. But this guy's new excuse was, I'm not, you know, at first he apologized and he came back and he goes, wait a minute. And like a little light bulb went off. Said it was confusing because Jesus came to him and gave him these dates. But Jesus was using what they used to use and he isn't. He won't do it. He's like metrics in miles.

[Larry]

He won't update his. His phone. He's still like using an iPhone 3 or something. Come on.

[John Holmberg]

The Julian calendar is different because they. I think they only used to do 30, 28 days per month. It's like a 13 or 14 day difference between.

[Brett]

Didn't it have a 13th month?

[John Holmberg]

No, I think that's astrology. I don't know. There maybe. I think there's a better calendar out there, and that's been proven too, than what we use. But yeah. So the Gregorian calendar is what? And the guy's like, wait a second. And that means. That means it's this week. So it could start happening today. I'm rooting for it once again.

[Brett]

And John, can you ring up John Eaton real quick, please, and have him explain calendars to you?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, John Eaton, why don't you get on that real quick and start, you know, nitpicking every word we say about that? But yeah, that's what the guy said. So today, there. And here's the other thing. It's kind of an unknown with time having switched over to the Gregorian calendar when we did in like the 1500s, I don't know when we did it, that we don't know how much time has been screwed up. So it's somewhere between 13 and 20 days different than what Jesus would have come back and said. And this is why I struggle with the Lord Jesus. Can he be a little bit more specific? Like he's. If he knows everything, he would have to be like, and I know you're on Gregorian, so, like, at least your grandma calls and says, what time is it there before she starts talking about stuff. If Jesus come back, what's the Current date there, it's August 8th. Okay, it's July 15th here. So let's just do the math. And world's gonna end my September, your October. So just kind of map it out. Thank you, Lord Jesus. Yeah, no problem. I wanted to make sure I covered my bases. No, he's just stubborn.

[Larry]

I think Jesus is up there going, yeah, that's this got him again.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. He sips his beard, he goes, get in your Hellcat now and drive off. I got him. I got him. I've been terrible to those people for a long time.

[Larry]

And taking a Carnival cruise.

[John Holmberg]

I am your Lord Jesus. Oh, my God, it's the Lord Christ. He has come down. Here's two tickets on a Carnival cruise. I can't believe the bounty I am being presented. Here's your Hellcat. Oh, my God. The praise be to the Lord Jesus. And the world will end on my calendar in the end of September. You do the math. I'll be on my cruise. Jesus. Then he went all the way over to the place. Two tickets, all the way to the Caribbean. These tickets are a forgery. And then you're just here.

[Larry]

And change the batteries in your fire alarm.

[John Holmberg]

There are two AA batteries for the chirping alarm. Is that what that is?

[Brett]

No, it's me.

[John Holmberg]

That is my fire alarm. I'm the only man in Africa with a fire alarm. They're chirping. I thought there was a bird in the attic. No, you've all got it. It's a real thing. It's not even a stereotype. It's a. You guys don't change the batteries. Why? It is a reckless endeavor to go get a little step stool and try to change the battery rather than just let it chirp and get used to it. The chirping will end October 7th. Thank Christ. No, I mean thank you.

[Brett]

In general.

[John Holmberg]

I have been being driven crazy by that little machine. No one needs to know why. There is no reason for the chirping. It ends October 7th. I'm coming back. Jesus is coming back to knock that goddamn thing off your ceiling. It's driving us nuts. It's keeping me and my dad up. It seems to always get going about 2 in the morning. No one knows. It's a mystery. I'm French. For some reason I was laughing, so it's hard to do all of the accent. And then he goes to get his cruise. These are fraudulent, sir. Jesus. You got me again. Take that, Africa stupid calendar. I don't know why you believe in me. I've been horrible to the whole Continent for ages. Famine, disease, no food. And now you're buying into my Carnival Cruise giveaways. Dad, dad, come here. I just got Africa to say that the world's coming to an end on our calendar. They don't know what that is. Look, look, look. Jesus. Give me the binoculars. They're just looking down on us with those weird things on top of the Empire State Building. Another quarter change. Jesus. Go in my go. You know, in the top drawer. Grab a couple of quarters. We use American money here. Of course you do, you're Jesus. It's the best money anyway, so evidently it's going to end starting today or tomorrow or. Or maybe Thursday or Friday. Somewhere along the next couple weeks. Not very specific. You know, he's kind of like that. He's. If Jesus is a radio show producer, he's Toledo. It's like, yeah, we'll figure it out when we get there. We didn't have Monday.

[Brett]

Maybe I'll show up, maybe I won't.

[John Holmberg]

Do we have Monday off? No hitching the old giddy up. On the three day weekend, I took four. How was your extra day?

[Brett]

I was good. Just in Flagstaff.

[John Holmberg]

Nothing too. We could have driven down for the show and gone back.

[Brett]

I entertain that idea.

[John Holmberg]

And by the way, that's not too far fetched because I don't know if you. Something kind of weird happened. And Brett, you're a lifer here in Arizona for the part. I've been here since I was 11. Kind of a sad thing really, and a weird one as we watch media die as we know it, you know, with the magazines, radio, newspapers, local television. And it won't die. Locality is always. What I've said about radio, that will keep it alive. And unfortunately, even my own crappy company decided to, you know, start using national things a while ago to save money. The Arizona Republic. And weirdly, I have done nothing to support them for 25 years. So it's not like I'm nostalgic about this, but it is a. Nostalgia is no longer printing. The Arizona Republic in Arizona. Today is the last day.

[Larry]

Nevada or something.

[John Holmberg]

You're going to Vegas and they're going to print at the Las Vegas Journal up there and they're going to double print up there and then drive the papers here. That's more cost effective than having a separate printing press.

[Larry]

Oh, that's just it too.

[John Holmberg]

How do they get morning papers here? I mean, that's proof that the newspaper is so far behind everything else that by the time you get the paper, it was driven five hours and not just here, all over the state. So they're printing this thing 7 o' clock yesterday to give you the news. And that's what they've always said about the paper. It fell behind. So it's yesterday's news today.

[Brett]

The only place I see a newspaper anymore is in Starbucks.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And when you're walking out Circle K you look down and go wow. And it's now like this weird little pamphlet. It's the side of. It's like.

[Larry]

It's like the New Times right now.

[Brett]

The New Times had the COVID of. It was an ad. The entire cover was an ad.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It's just. It's a weird, you know, goodbye to something that. And it kind of quietly just went away. And we, you know, with your phone.

[Larry]

Why do you.

[John Holmberg]

There's no. The newspaper's one of the things in media that was inevitably going to get punched by computers. I thought first. It's lasted longer than I thought. Thought some. I still prefer a tangible readable thing. But I don't grab a newspaper because I, you know, I'm up to date pretty much that's just me on almost every bit of news I'm interested in. And. And I. And the way our brains used to work. Newspapers were better because we found our stories in that, you know, paper and it was kind of the same thing everybody else read. Headline a little bit of the story, some features that you like. Sports page. If you're into life and leisure, it had the opportunity for you to be informed enough without diving too deep and getting crazy. You know. There were no click here for more kind of moments. Rabbit holes. You just got your. You got the headlines, you got the basics and you could educate yourself off it. I preferred that method because it kept us a little bit more sane. I do also like the idea of being informed but I think we're over informed right now with a lot. But it was kind of. It's kind of a sad passing of something. It's kind of like when Legend City closed. I never went to. It was. Evidently it was right here.

[Larry]

Yeah, it's right by the zoo. Yeah, I was there twice I think.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I never went to Legend City because when we moved here I remember my mom thinking it's. It was for dirty hillbillies because this city was a cow town when we moved here. It was not like a thriving like it is now. It's a. It's a real city. Then it was like. And the last thing I wanted to do was walk around a fun park in July that had Metal like everything you touched was on fire. But we never went to Legend City because as a family we had been to Disneyland, real parks and it was like, oh, this is just some street fair that the city these, these rubes think is like a big deal. But it was kind of neat.

[Larry]

Compton Terrace was there too. That was the original Compton Terrace.

[John Holmberg]

And are the lakes.

[Larry]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It was fantastic.

[Larry]

Legend City was a.

[John Holmberg]

Also Brett and I both grew up in Mesa. It was a hall. Oh yeah. There was no freeway. There were no roads to get here. It was an all day sucker to go to Legend City from Mesa.

[Larry]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Like it took 30 minutes, 40 minutes to get there because we were. I, I was over. I mean I was in Tempe when we first moved here. But Mesa, most of the time it's.

[Larry]

Right where, where Phoenix Muni park is where the ASU plays now. It was right across the street where all the SRP buildings are. Because SRP bought Legend City and then bulldozed it.

[John Holmberg]

It's really. And so I'll ride through the. The walkway green belt there. And you're like, oh my God. This is what used to drive by was Legend City when I. And it closed pretty soon after I moved here. If I remember right. It's still there.

[Brett]

Closed in 83.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. I moved here in 83. So it was like right when we moved here. So actually yeah, we didn't even have Mesa. I just knew it was a long haul to get over there. I knew Metro center was a never go.

[Larry]

Oh because once a year maybe no freeway. Yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

The i10 didn't exist past downtown. It just stopped. The 60 just stopped. You had to get on surface streets to get over there.

[Brett]

It was a night copied Disneyland.

[John Holmberg]

Oh they had the train and everything else. But I remember I never went there. But I remember going by and my mom's, you know, trying to find stuff for us to do when we first moved here and Legend City was on every hillbillies list.

[Larry]

Walls and Admo played there every weekend.

[John Holmberg]

And yeah, our, our neighbors were the Stumps and their daughter Stacy, who had an incredible crush on. She had no idea. And I've since seen her as an adult and she held up nice. But we like they were Phoenicians and I think we had a poor attitude towards them coming from at that time from San Diego and we'd been to SeaWorld. We were kind of snobby about like Phoenix is sort of a dusty dirt town. My dad loved it and I think we thought it was going to be a lot Like Albuquerque, because we lived there too. Wow. Yeah.

[Brett]

So nothing around that?

[John Holmberg]

No, there was nothing. Yeah. You look at an overhead.

[Brett]

Is that Phoenix Muni.

[John Holmberg]

That's the park.

[Larry]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And then that's. Yeah, that's the Biltmore Golf and.

[Larry]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Is that the Biltmore? Is that. No, that can't be.

[Larry]

No, no, that's Papago.

[John Holmberg]

That's Papago. That's Papago. That's right. Crazy. So I remember we'd go by and we thought it looked rinky dink, but it was probably a blast. So when that thing died, the whole city comes, like, oh, that was a thing.

[Larry]

It was cool for what it was.

[John Holmberg]

Sure.

[Larry]

You know.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I made it sound bad because I had a bad attitude towards it as a kid because my mom thought it was cheap, you know, what did we know? We lived in West Virginia. We were a little triggered by garbage. We had seen it. We had been like, let's just be careful we don't fall into this trap again. And then Phoenix, of course, was that pretty big? It was huge. It was big. It was huge. But, you know, the paper move into Vegas is a very strange kind of like, all right, well, there's another little piece of Arizona that's disappearing to technology, and technology beats down everything. But that's kind of one that quietly slunk out of town. Like, it's been nice to know you. You know, it's got a little hobo sack and it's walking away and nobody's waving.

[Larry]

It's like you're reading history, though, by the time you get that newspaper, because they got to print it, what, seven o' clock the night before.

[Brett]

But being history, print the morning one at, like, 1am Used to have an.

[John Holmberg]

Afternoon one called the Phoenix Gazette.

[Larry]

I used to deliver that way back in the day.

[John Holmberg]

I used to go with the guy. I say that. I used to tag along with the guy. I say go with the guys. Like we were dating. But I'd ride bikes with him while he delivered the paper. But the. Yeah, but it's weird because that thing was such a crucial part of this town and to have it just kind of, you know, drift off into the distance and then finally go, I'm gonna take off. It was life of the party for a while. Fanfare and there no fanfare and, you know, just another old retiree that's walking away. Sounds different than he used to years ago. Oh, Jesus, it's me.

[Larry]

But it's like, you look, you know, if you go to Circle K or something on a Sunday and you see the newspaper stack there? They're pamphlets now, compared to what they were.

[John Holmberg]

What you're saying is it's Baby. Compared to what they used that dude's doing.

[Brett]

You got a meal with your ticket.

[John Holmberg]

It was like a hot dog and a churro. And it was pre good hot dogs and churros. It was desert rube hot dog churro.

[Larry]

It was great value.

[John Holmberg]

It was a great. No, great value of steak. 44.

[Larry]

Yeah, I don't know about that.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. It's. I first moved here in 83 and this was Albuquerque. It was a rube town. And it took about three, four years before it just exploded. But it was Rubetown, usa. I mean, Dave Pratt. I tell you what exactly Dave Pratt was doing. Well, he was entertainment to the masses. All right, buddy. Catchphrases. Absolutely no thought into anything I say. If I don't deserve it, do, do. Let's get a wake up song, shall we? 585-9800. A good one and we'll scream it together. It could be the last time. It's 98. KUPD. Wake up. Hey, it's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees. I have heard enough of this morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. 98. A year of PT. That man's banana. Thanks. Miles to nowhere. That's Katie and the Hobbs getting us to this particular time on a Tuesday morning. 6:56. How am I sounding, Brett? Am I all right? Does that seem new?

[Larry]

Yeah, no, I. I think you're sounding good.

[John Holmberg]

Thanks, buddy. I don't know anymore. You know, one. One swing of the saber and the confidence drops out. Now I'm listening to me as I speak. It's just not right. This guy said. And this is the weird thing about those. We were talking about calendars and how Gregorian and Julian and all that there is. I've read about this, and this just scares you. There may have been a Roman emperor that skipped years to be king in the year 1000. There's our calendar first off. This is how scientific it was when they put it together. You know why August has 31 days? Or, you know, some. Some have 30. 31 is because July had it because Julius Caesar wanted to name have the longest month of the year and then Augustus or something like that. One of these dudes comes along and says, well, my son Needs a long month. So we were just adding days to make months longer in tribute. We were, like, treating them like Oscars, like, well, you got August, now that's yours. I named it after you. That's it. So there you go. So we would add days and so who knows how.

[Larry]

We're just guessing anyway.

[John Holmberg]

It's a pretty remarkable that we stayed on point to go around the sun. But there's like, every thousand years, like a day off. But it doesn't hurt until it hurts.

[Larry]

Well, isn't that with, like, leap years?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we're not quite 24 hours. So after every four years, we have to add a day to just be like. That gets us back on point. But, I mean, we've got it kind of figured out at this point. But it was pretty remarkable that they were. They were knocking that out pretty good with sundials, basically, and, you know, Galileo's ideas.

[Larry]

I think it's just a waste of time.

[John Holmberg]

You think the calendar's a waste of time? What an ironic thing to say.

[Larry]

The whole thing with this moron over there.

[John Holmberg]

Nobody knows. I don't know if you recognize how deep what you just said was. I think the calendar is a waste of time.

[Larry]

Kinda is.

[John Holmberg]

That might be the most profound dumb thing I've ever heard in my life. You know, calendars are just a waste of time. My God. Either Brett's stoned.

[Larry]

According to this moron, it is a waste time because it keeps changing.

[John Holmberg]

Depends on which one time. Yeah, there's a. There's an argument. There you go.

[Larry]

Then it's waste of time.

[John Holmberg]

God damn it. That is if we can't figure out.

[Larry]

Which calendar to use. For Christ's sake.

[John Holmberg]

That's. I can't get out of this. You just dropped me into some sort of. I think you just invented quantum physics. Again, I'm too stupid to understand what you just said, but that was deep. So deep. Put her ass to sleep. Anyway. Yeah. Last night, watching Trevor Lawrence pick his nose. I think half the country went full Caddyshack and said, Spalding Bucks says he eats it. Yeah, it was just gross. Anyway, the calendar thing, well done. And. Yeah, now everybody's a calendar expert. And I don't know, like, Native Americans have different stuff too, right?

[Larry]

I think so.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, yeah.

[Larry]

There's more than one calendar.

[John Holmberg]

The Jews just had New Year, like a week.

[Larry]

They did?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yum. Kipper keeper. Kipper.

[Larry]

Figured you'd know that.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know how it works. I don't know how any of it works, but it's very weird. And all this on Amazon Prime Day, which I always thought was insane.

[Larry]

Oh, man, I gotta go shopping.

[John Holmberg]

Let's go to break.

[Larry]

I got stuff to do.

[John Holmberg]

Get it out now because you won't have to pay the bill because it's all gonna end.

[Larry]

So at least depending which calendar they go.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's true. Get the overnight delivery just in case it's soon. And then, yeah, just skip your AMEX at the end of the month. Who care? It's all coming to an end, man. By the way, I'd like to thank the general public for what you've done with my time. When there's football and baseball on, I have the split screen going. I actually muted the games last night just to have them in the background so I could watch Hitler, Jesus and Stephen Hawking on a half pipe. Whatever AI's doing, I cannot get enough.

[Brett]

The Hawking on a half pipe is awesome.

[John Holmberg]

The drop in, he never lands. And he, he was. He was an F1 car the other day, I didn't see that, but I saw.

[Brett]

I saw about nine different skateboard drop ins.

[John Holmberg]

I started my day getting, you know, we send each other horrible things. And last night, I don't know if you guys noticed, I was on a roll. I was a lot coming in because I found Hitler, Jesus and Hawking competing in the X Games. I was pissing myself. It's so real now. So. Yeah. And one of them was Joe Buck. And I'm watching the Chiefs on tv and then I'm like, oh, is this a highlight? What happened to Patrick Mahomes? And it's number 15 for the Chiefs is running on the field. And Joe Buck says, a cascade of booze rains down on the field as Adolf Hitler comes in for the Chiefs donning the golden red. And he turns around and it says Hitler on his back. And it's just his little face in the helmet. And I'm like, this is. Oh, here's Stephen Hawking in a half pipe. It's. He never lands it. Is this you? Yeah, no, this. He never. Dropping in on the giant bird ramp. This is history. Picking up speed, rolling smooth. Look at this. Oh, he landed that one. I've never seen him land one. Nope. There you go. He always ends up dropping in on the giant. There is nothing better than.

[Brett]

There was one where he was tapping out somebody in the ufc.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he's fighting. Oh, he was in a. Remember those old. The Robot wars they used to have, like, colleges would build little robots and they'd have fights and he was one of them. And he was kicking ass on this thing that had a saw blade in the front. Oh, my God. If this is what AI does for us, count me in as indoctrinated, I will. It's harmless because I'm not going to watch it do anything political. There he is fighting in the ufc. Oh, man. Come on, man.

[Larry]

Hawking's actually up.

[John Holmberg]

Better built than I thought he was working out for. He's training for UFC fight. We have a new heavyweight champion.

[Brett]

He lost his leg. Look at his leg.

[John Holmberg]

Did it fall off? Yeah, watch at the end. The guy's hitting him from behind. He's in the chair. There goes his leg. Oh, right. It just falls. This is why I'm on the planet. I didn't realize this is it then. Brett, how dare you assume that I wouldn't train for a fight in the ufc? I am in great shape under my clothes. Oh, there he is in the wwe. Oh, he just got his back broken in the chair. Oh, my God. No. Almost. I cannot get enough of what's happening on the computer. So between. Look, I never thought I'd say this, but my favorite thing in the world right now. Hitler, Jesus and Hawking. And I think that's a great band name too. Oh, if you can find Hitler for the Chiefs and it's just the way they introduce it. You didn't. I. I didn't see it coming. Oh, that guy's awes awesome, too. That roundtable of that black dude that just yells at women all day. Oh, there's. Yeah, Adolf's all over and I don't know when this started. This seems like relatively like recent, like the last couple days and.

[Brett]

Well, it's A couple of the new AIs have. Have released new versions of what they.

[John Holmberg]

Can do, but we're making Hitler do stuff immediately. The general population got access to the greatest technology of all time for video and. And we immediately said, let's make Hitler do stuff. That it's. It's horribly funny. And I mean that in the truest form of those two words. It is outrageously hilarious, and it's so real. Like, Hitler won the World cup for Germany. And they interviewed him after the game, and it was just so awkward to see. It's just such a fish out of water deal. But Jesus on the half pipe and the flowing gowns and the. It was awesome. I mean, it's going to be used for evil.

[Brett]

One of the new ones, they did Jesus based on the shrouded Turin.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. There's no way Jesus looked Like that, by the way.

[Brett]

That is.

[John Holmberg]

That's Viggo Mortensen. Exactly.

[Larry]

Jared Leto over there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That dude's gorgeous. I mean white and insanely white. He was from. From kind of from Egypt. Right. It was awfully close. And you could say, well the Jews in Israel, they moved there guys.

[Larry]

Well, you said your friend had the blonde hair Jesus pictures.

[John Holmberg]

Oh the Mormons think he's a surfer.

[Larry]

Blonde hair, blue eyed like Bode from Point Break or what?

[John Holmberg]

Only yeah. A little less attractive. He's like. He's almost like Patrick Swayze's brother Don. But make. Make blonde Mormon Jesus do stuff too. Make him fight Hitler. I mean remember how great South Park's first episod was Santa versus Jesus. And everybody thought it was great. Now you can actually do it. Oh, I swear to you. You want to talk about wasting your life and yesterday I had kind of a weird day. So at the end of the day I just. I plopped down on the couch and I hit that. I was on it for an hour and man. And you know what the good thing was? It finally wasn't like I want to say it wasn't inappropriate. Like things that'll get you fired. Things that we send each other the Hitler playing for the Chiefs can't but like Jesus on a skateboard and Stephen Hawking just crashing constantly. That's why I breathe earth's air.

[Larry]

Entertainment like that let's that had be all day because it started here when we were sitting here after the show watching stuff.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I started and you're like look at this. I found a couple with you after the the Jew wop show and then just went on all day. It was remarkably funny night. I couldn't stop laughing. I had tears coming out like this is there and it's mainly. It's not so much of the videos are good. It's that people went there first. It took us an hour to go put Hitler in it. Like we didn't even dabble around with wow, you know I can make Jack Nicholson talk to Gregory Peck. We didn't do anything nice. We did it with Hitler shaking hands with Patrick Mahomes. I don't know why.

[Larry]

Oh man.

[John Holmberg]

So and it's not just a person teams scores of human beings went to what can we make Hitler do And not you know, Hitler supporters. People who recognize this is so outrageous.

[Brett]

It's funny and meta hasn't put in the put the brakes on AI as far as let's leave Hitler alone. No, they haven't put that into the program.

[John Holmberg]

Yet the only dangerous thing is, and here's a phrase that you don't hear. The only dangerous thing with Hitler is. No, the only dangerous thing is, is that people will start like thinking he's funny. Like, it'll start softening what Hitler is.

[Brett]

Maybe somebody just sent this one. It's Hitler in his own voice, but in English.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, this is real. They translated it it my Armites. That's pretty German original.

[Brett]

And then they're going to go to.

[John Holmberg]

My work for correctness. Whether you believe that I have been diligent, that I have worked, I don't like that. See, I don't want to see those. I like him skateboarding and stuff. Make him surf. Put him, put him in things. I don't want actual history from my AI. I've already got actual history. I want some made up stuff. Stuff I want them surfing, I want and people. I still feel like maybe I'm in control of the planet because if I were to do anything, I'd say, all right, folks, entertain me with historical figures doing stuff. They said, there's Hitler surfing. I knew. I knew it. I can't. I can't not find that funny. I think it sness that strike me. He's having the time of his life. Hey. Hey. Damn it. So. Thank you. And stop it.

[Brett]

It's not going to stop.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Larry]

No, I'm not stopping that.

[Brett]

That Pandora has been out of the.

[John Holmberg]

Box for too long. But I'm telling you, man, we've had this technology for three years and the way we mastered it is to put Hitler at doing stuff. And that I didn't.

[Larry]

I would.

[John Holmberg]

I lost that bet. I would have. I would have thought we went porn first. We. We did. No, we did do that too. Nice. That's Jesus. Surfing is just too beautiful. You know, he'd be good at it.

[Larry]

It's almost air flowing and everything.

[Brett]

The road's not wet.

[John Holmberg]

What's he need a surfboard for? He can walk on water. Yeah, I'm not impressed by that one. I don't find Jesus doing things funny because I assume he can do everything Hitler. Like taking a break from his job. He seems super intense so that anytime I see him kind of relaxing or playing sports and stuff, it's just. It's what we decided to do with AI first. And I find it just hilarious. Great job, people. Great work. You're gonna keep searching for me too. You're gonna mess up. You're gonna mess up everything. This is why I sound different. Look at her.

[Larry]

He's doing a Hand. Oh, nice.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, okay. See, but again, I see Jesus on a skateboard. I, I, I'm thinking he invented all those moves, you just never saw him doing them.

[Larry]

Got Hitler on a skateboard again.

[John Holmberg]

Phrase right there.

[Brett]

Do you got.

[John Holmberg]

Do you got Hitler on a skateboard? Is like, do you have chicken sandwiches? No. Do you have Hitler on a skateboard? Of course I've got Hitler on a skateboard. And now we can say that. Brett, 10 years ago, if you'd have said, hey, do you have a picture of Hitler on a skateboard? I'd have been like, that's insane. Hilarious, though. And now you say it. And yes, I do. Hang on a second, is my answer. If I don't, I can make it. We're a terrible group. Just terrible. And these are awful, what you're pulling up. It's just there he is on a big long board. Those are the dumb ones. The new ones are so real. When he took the field for the Chiefs. And that one I saw last night, and he just runs on the field and just great writing. A cascade of boos rains down as Andy Reid goes to Hitler as his quarterback. We're terrible. We're a terrible group who occasionally has the nerve to clutch our pearls about what someone says. Can you imagine this society and all the things you see on the Internet occasionally gets mad at Jimmy Kimmel or Gutfeld or me or anybody who says, that's something I didn't, like, really get over it. Because the Internet and you just, you know, you can't sit and say, we have to stop this kind of behavior and people need to. Okay, yeah, the muffins are out of the tin, dude. Good luck stuffing those back in. And it doesn't mean everybody's free to just scream, whatever. But when we've got Hitler, AI, it's. Come on. The guy said, I hate to tell you this, John, because it's going to ruin you. AI people did go with porn first. I have seen multiple AI porn videos of Adolf, and he's doing it with historical figures I won't mention.

[Brett]

Wait, what?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he's having sex. I don't want to see Hitler having sex. I want to see him doing funny stuff that. Well, yeah, I kind of. You know what? Yeah, you do? I do. I do. I don't want to, but I'm not turning away from it.

[Larry]

It's the curiosity. It's not like you're going to search it out. But if it shows up, you're going.

[John Holmberg]

To watch it, right? If it's there, I'm like, all right, what is this? And then you'd probably hear me go, it's like when in the Hangover when Alan made the baby beat off.

[Larry]

That's right.

[John Holmberg]

It was awful. But all of us laughed. Even Ed Helms when he did it in the movies. Stop it. Like, you know it's bad, but you can't help but find it so absurd. But, man, I spent an hour last night watching hawking on that pipe and Toledo showed me videos. That's the first one I've seen him land every one of them in a horrific crash. One his. His chair started to smoke. He landed, the battery went out. So good. So incredibly good. Sorry, I got distracted. And then I saw a thing last night, also that. Do you know why? Remember the old Burger King King? The weird scary one? You know why they stopped that?

[Brett]

The one with the plastic head looking one?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it was. They got too many people saying their kids were having nightmares. Burger King had to admit, this is the mayor.

[Brett]

McCheese.

[John Holmberg]

No, Ronald. Because they said the similar thing started to happen when clowns started to show up. And I think it was the 80s or 90s, maybe that. Remember when people were just dressed as clowns, just standing there trying to scare. It might have been more recent than that. And then you started to notice that McDonald's is like, less Ronald. Like, they kind of went away from Ronald the Burger King. People had to admit immediately, like, oh, yeah, our king we thought was funny. Oh, crazy clown sightings 2016. It was said you started to see Ronald McDonald a little bit less because clowns got a bad rap. It came out and all that stuff. So they pulled back on that Burger King, had that 15 years of that weird king. I didn't realize it was that long.

[Larry]

That was longer than that, actually.

[John Holmberg]

Did you? Yeah. I don't remember the King with that big plastic head that would just show up and he would be in your windows. Evidently it was a peeping Tom. Families wouldn't go to Burger King anymore because the kids were horrified. And they started to say, I'm having dreams about it. They had nightmares. So they had a number of learnings from creepy King. And we had to move away from him because of his limited appeal with children. We received several notes and different styles of correspondence saying that people couldn't come to Burger King anymore because their children were afraid of the King.

[Brett]

That's the one.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that thing. And they thought he would be funny. And they couldn't have been more wrong. Yeah, I didn't know that's why they pulled the advertising. That was it.

[Brett]

Whole super bowl campaign a few years ago.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I think Burger King. Well, because they had. They'd parade them around at sporting events and like, he'd just show up. But I think somewhere along the line, they realized he was creepy. When he started to just show up in people's cars and, like, it was just weird. I liked him, but I wasn't. I was a grown up. If I was a kid, that would have been.

[Larry]

But him looking in the windows.

[John Holmberg]

Commercials, the one, he was just sitting in someone and the guy sees him in the rear view and he freaks out because there's the king and he just hands him a bag of Burger King and makes it okay. But it's. It's really strange. Holmberg's morning sickness. Yeah. So they had to do. I didn't know that. So, yeah, again, my, my, my night last night was. And I can say this, I never thought I would live long enough to say I was just chock full of Hitler and Hawking skateboarding videos and then burning stuff. Oh, is it. He's riding a bull. Is this happening? No way. Is that Hawking on a bull. I calculate an 8% chance of survival.

[Larry]

Hang on.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he's getting stomped. Oh, he fell off and he got stuck.

[Brett]

And then he's still on. Here's another one with Sora.

[John Holmberg]

Is that Tupac? Yeah. He's going to cuss. Is he going to meet Hitler? Oh, no, he's hanging out with Hawking. I watched a lot of Mr. Rogers and Tupac last night too. Yeah, there's a ton of. There's a whole. Like this. We are out here. You don't want no smoke with us. All right. I don't know what they're saying. It makes me very nervous. Did he say you can't f of this? There is one thing that is for sure, you cannot with the Hawk.

[Brett]

So that's a new AI engine, I think, called Sora.

[John Holmberg]

It's amazing. And we didn't use it for good. We didn't use it to, like, how can this help us fix cancer?

[Brett]

We did it for plenty of good.

[John Holmberg]

No, we didn't. We didn't use it for good.

[Brett]

We're having right now.

[John Holmberg]

People are still blind. People have diseases. There's tumors, There's. Evidently there's still aids. Nope. We use all this technology to make Tupac and Stephen Hawking cuss at you. And I'm all for it. If it's a world with terrible diseases that kills us. And in replacement of that, we get Tupac and Mr. Rogers wrestling. Okay. Bob Ross was another one losing his mind every time he makes a mistake. I didn't know it was AI at first because happy little tree lives right here. Oh, no. That looks like I hate art. And then he just freaks out. It was awesome. We now use AI.

[Brett]

Yeah. Sora's been out two weeks and this is. This is the one.

[John Holmberg]

Two weeks. Look at the spade building on that chair.

[Brett]

He's locked in.

[John Holmberg]

Pump coming up the wall. I never stop laughing at Stephen Hawking and a half.

[Brett]

I love Everybody Runs to Live.

[John Holmberg]

Why does that get me. I've seen it 18 times now. Every time I laugh. Yeah, the UFC one was pretty solid, too.

[Brett]

Here's a new one.

[John Holmberg]

Another UFC. This is. That's not a good one. My friend is physics in motion. All right, that's. I don't like when they make them talk. I like when there's Joe Rogan over the top of it. Yeah, but that was it. How long has it been around? 14 days. Two weeks? Fortnight.

[Brett]

Not even quite a fortnight.

[John Holmberg]

And the most we've gotten out of it so far is Hitler doing stuff with Stephen Hawking and God knows what else. Think of all the historic figures that we can lean into on this. Crazy. Crazy. So, congratulations, world. This is what you've. This is what you've come to see. You have to stop eventually. No, keep going.

[Larry]

Somebody find me.

[Brett]

I haven't seen it yet.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he's. He's in a. He's on a 30 meter board. He's going to do a dive. God damn it. That didn't even look like him. All right, here we go. They're Hawking him and he just. It just falls in. Come on. Oh, this is ranking the best Stephen Hawking. SORA edits. I, I, by the way, I've just now heard of sora, right? And this. And it's brought me great entertainment so far. It's ridiculous. And I know grandparents and older people who aren't into this would see this and be like, yeah. Oh, no. He's speeding around in races. He's in a go kart. I know. Like my, like older people, 70, 80. Like, my dad would look at this and go, what is that? Like, oh, that's Hitler. That's Hitler fighting Stephen Hawking. Yeah. Robot Wars. And he's got a hatchet on his. And I don't know that my dad would understand why that's funny, but for me, I do. Yeah. There is running over the Dallas Cowboys. Touchdown. But that's what we did with it. Immediately, we grabbed Stephen Hawking. We brought him back to life. And nobody would appreciate that more than Stephen Hawking, because he was actually hilarious. His delivery was a little weird, but.

[Brett]

John, keep dosing me up. Laughter's the best medicine.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I agree. Yeah, keep. Keep that IV just dripping because otherwise you got to pay attention to reality, and that doesn't seem fun. But my only concern is, is that we soften the Hitler and we make him kind of a funny thing. And, I don't know, over time, we've made jokes about, like, you know, genghis Khan's a riot now. You know, as you get older, the people who do terrible things become kind of funny. So maybe it's just happening in front of us.

[Brett]

John, you were worried earlier about how you sounded. I look forward to the day in 2045 when we replaying today's. And the phrase that says, I spent an hour watching Hawking on that pipe.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, in 40, in 20 years, 30 years, when you're talking, we can actually make it happen in front of you. It'll be a hologram. It'll be great. By the way, I don't know if you've met radio executives. There won't be a radio to listen to that phrase.

[Brett]

John, I know you know this, but you are a horrible, horrible person.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I know. Oh, no. I know, but I'm not the one making the videos, so I have.

[Larry]

There's a. NASCAR is in nascar.

[John Holmberg]

Damn it, Brett, Enough. Stephen Hawking. He's in a powered chair, and he is flat out racing the field. He just passed the 11 car down low. He's holding. Oh, he's in. Go. Oh, he survived it. He.

[Larry]

Pour beer on him.

[John Holmberg]

Fat girls. Fat girls are pouring beer on him again. That's all we did with it. Oh, man. I don't know. I just. I don't know how. I don't know how the future's going to look, but I kind of like what's going on right now, that's for sure.

[Brett]

We're going to have to. We're going to have to, like, post all of these links. All right, here's a. Here's a new one. You mentioned Bob Ross.

[John Holmberg]

No, don't. So don't say there's a new one. I somebody him in a hockey fight, and it's so real. Like, it just looks like Bob Ross fighting this. This new AI is real. It's. I don't want to see any of those because there's the Crocodile Hunter.

[Brett]

I don't know if those are the.

[John Holmberg]

Same no, no, turn it off. Because I did this already last night and I can't. Stop. Stop. Nick D emails. He says, Bob Ross versus Mr. Rogers in a wrestling match. Yeah, it was a ladder match. I saw that one, too. It's pretty. And then. Yeah, it's. It's what we do. It's. It's our first reaction to everything, which is. And I like that, you know, that's truth. If you want to get into, like, a weird explanation of it. The true matter of things is people want levity. Nobody wants to live in this maudlin, weird, everything's bad. Economy, you know, chatter, politics, nonsense. All we want is a laugh and some relief. And so even we take the most. It's. Gallows humor is one of the greatest things that's ever been given to mankind. And that's when you really realize who can be your friend and who can't, is if you don't have gallows humor, I'm not friends with you. You're gonna get offended. Or you got a stick up your ass and you don't have that release valve. I have a feeling you're gonna be pent up and angry a lot. You wear a lot of purple, your boobs hang low, that kind of thing. You know, you probably shaved half your head and you put, like, a long boobs. Yeah. You get long boobs and you're just not happy with things. But if you can't laugh at Stephen Hawking or even Hitler on a half pipe. I know it's wrong, but, man, that's what we need more of. A whole lot more of. All right, absurdities, I guess, as long as we keep it on the computer. But the scary part is there are going to be a ton of people who. Who. Who don't understand that, and I'll get mad at it and another group that'll dig their heels in and make Hitler a hero because. No. You know.

[Brett]

Right. So nobody's got no blind.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And they'll be the loud ones that make it all kind of crappy. Meanwhile, all of us sitting in the middle are just like, come on, it's a laugh. It goes away. The second it's over, it's over. Anyway, how am I sounding? Bread. Am I still. Is it still me? Yeah.

[Brett]

For 13 years. He heard you.

[John Holmberg]

No, no. Trip ruined it. It. You ruined it. I don't know. I listen to those best dogs and you just sound different. I guess it's just age. Are you calling me old? No, but you're older, so you are. This is like how this Is what you do when you break up with a woman and you're. When you're 70 and you're dating a 53 year old, this is how you break up with him, isn't it?

[Larry]

You just, you know, it's not you.

[John Holmberg]

It's not. I think I'm just older. And you're older too. Oh, I see. Who's that new girl in your car.

[Larry]

Trading you in for a new model?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, she's the new sales girl. She's in the car. I'm going to lunch with her. She's like 30. Yeah. Anyway, you just sound different to me. Maybe I'm growing out of it. Damn it. That's gonna live with me for a day or two. People like me are fragile, confident people. Jay Moore said it best. He goes. People with a brain that wants to be fun or entertaining also come with the. The gene that racehorses have. They're powerful. They're. They have one goal. They have a mission. Don't spook them and you can spook us. Don't. You're laughing for all the wrong reasons. No, you're laughing for the wrong reason. Races don't spook. The racehorse has nothing to do with why you're alive. No, no, no, no. That's the thing. What do you got on the big board?

[Larry]

Musical treats on a half pipe is wrong. I don't want to be right.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. Exactly. You know what? Make that AI song Hitler on a half pipe is wrong. I don't wanna be right. Who's saying that? Loving you is wrong. Loving you is wrong. I know. Trips at home going, oh, so hold on a second. Second.

[Brett]

Now. The show has a couple of entourages of content creators. Brett's got his crew now. John's got his crew.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not asking for anything. Well, yeah, I like to stumble across it. You know what else I have a problem with? And this is why I can't have social media. I do. Fitz started an Instagram page that's a burner so he and I could look at old pictures of Las Vegas. We're both fascinated with the growth of Las Vegas and, like, old, like, how much it's changed every 10 years. The strip is brand new, and so he's finding. So we. He would share it and go. And I said, I don't have Instagram. I can't watch these videos. So he set up this like, burner thing so we could do that. And all it's turned into for me is whenever you idiots send me an Instagram thing, I can now scroll through and find the other ones. And it has gotten me. I have a huge problem buying all of the ads. I fall for all of them. You want apps like this? Buy now. Click. Your feet hurt by now. Click Orthotics. I need those. I have purchased so much garbage off those integr. And you guys just scroll past it. What are you laughing at? Don't. I don't want to hear what you're reading. And I'm scrolling past all these ads. I can't help myself. Nope, nope. I've been watching those too. Is this funny? Did you watch it?

[Larry]

I think so. Here's the other thing we talked about earlier though, which was with the fire alarms.

[John Holmberg]

Damn it. I have a dream that one day my people can figure out to stop the beeping noise that comes out of our ceilings. It wasn't bad. I watched a lot of MLK stuff yesterday too.

[Larry]

Yeah, that one was good. That was okay.

[John Holmberg]

That was a safe one. That was super. No, he. Most of them were safe. They were. I mean. That's it again.

[Larry]

Oh, hang on.

[John Holmberg]

I gotta pull it back up. Sorry. It's so real. It's like. It's so real looking.

[Larry]

Hang on.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, the things we're gonna do with this is just so bad. Oh my God. I have a dream that one day my people can figure out to stop the beeping noise that comes out of our ceilings. It's so real. Oh, I'm going home. Back to what you're supposed to do. What's the. I don't know what that one is.

[Larry]

I killed it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. What is the Wake up song for today?

[Larry]

Oh, yeah, that.

[John Holmberg]

The Wake up song brought to you by.

[Larry]

Actually, I'm still thinking of the.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I wonder if at Action Ride shop you were in a Hawking chair. If Josh could. Could get like that going or put.

[Larry]

You on a half pipe or something.

[John Holmberg]

No, no. Get you an off road chair.

[Brett]

Oh, they have those.

[John Holmberg]

I know, but like, they give you what you get. But like, can pivot make one. Can I get like an off road bike chair?

[Larry]

Yeah. I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

I bet you he could. Like, there's got to be stuff that.

[Larry]

Enough money they'll do whatever.

[John Holmberg]

That's very true. Excellent.

[Larry]

You got Hawking's money?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, no problem. Hawkins thing had a nice bike. Yeah, he kind of invented the E bike. Really? Oh, Lord. Yeah. Make it stop. No. Oh, it's four grand. But that's one of those just topsy turvy.

[Brett]

It's got a shock absorber center.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but I'm Talking about like four, like, BF Goodrich mud terrains.

[Brett]

Oh, you want the bigger ones?

[John Holmberg]

I want. No, I want one that goes out in the dirt.

[Brett]

That's what this one claims to be.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You're not clearing many rocks in that. The trails I go on with my bike. That thing's getting stuck stock.

[Larry]

Yeah. You're tipping.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I'm talking about like. Like a bro dozer of wheelchair, you know, that's sort of a thing. It's got four bike tires. Yeah, there you go.

[Brett]

Fat tires.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Larry]

It's like a green machine.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it is like a green. It's still too low, though.

[Larry]

It's got the sticks and everything.

[John Holmberg]

The front end is still going to grab rocks. You're still not getting over stuff. It needs to be reversed. It needs to be flipped around where there's one wheel in the front and two in the back. He.

[Brett]

I see what you're saying. You're not going over out on the H trail ahead with that.

[Larry]

I think this is more for balance. So, like, you do that one in front, it's like an ATC back in the day.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you know, maybe they shouldn't do it. I mean, what's the worst can happen? You fall off.

[Brett]

That's what. What's his name, Wheels? The. The dude that does the skateboard stuff on. He's paralyzed and he does tricks like Hawking.

[John Holmberg]

I. Here's the thing about that, though. I don't watch that with any sort.

[Brett]

Of paralyzed for Wheels because, you know, he can't.

[John Holmberg]

Nothing can happen. Like, you watch skateboarders, you're like, I can really get hurt doing that. You watch Wheels, it's like, well, he's already hurt.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I mean. I mean, the only thing that could happen is miraculously his spine snaps back together and he gets out. I don't watch. It's. Maybe that's just a disconnect in my brain, but I don't watch, like, wheelchair people doing great feats and things think this is dangerous. It's like, there's nothing that bigot. No, there's nothing bad that can happen. I need some sort of, you know, intrigue or like, if you're already paralyzed, what's the risk?

[Brett]

All right, this doesn't even. That looks fun, but it doesn't look.

[John Holmberg]

Like, oh, man, that's a. That's a bulldozer with a seat on top. Yep. Yeah, I don't. No offense to people in wheelchairs. I mean, you just don't. And I'm not entertained by you.

[Brett]

Here's One. This one will stand you up.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no, I've seen those. That thing's got, like, 40 wheels on it. That's. Jesus, that's like Game of Thrones on wheels.

[Brett]

Yeah, look, it stands you up.

[John Holmberg]

I'll just. Yeah, I don't have. I don't know what it would take for me to watch people in wheelchairs doing stuff that would make me go, oh, careful. Like, I. If I was in a wheelchair, like, cliff diving would happen every day. Like, I just pushed me out of it. Like, what is the worst. You'd hit your head. I hit my head. I'm fine. If I hit my head, that's sweet relief at this point. Yeah, just shove me in there and let's see how I land. I mean, you might break a bone. I won't feel it. We're good. It could mess you up more. Really? Have you seen me? I'm Stephen Hawking. Push me in. Don't get the computer wet. That's all I'm asking. I don't know. That's me. Brett, what do you got?

[Larry]

All right, wake up. So I'm brought to you by Action Ride Shop, and Josh can even get you a Hawking bike if you need it. He'll take care of you. Oh, yeah? Yeah. You'd be on that Hoss trailhead in no time at all. But you just got to go visit them over there at the brand new location on power Road and McDowell. Like I said, right off the Hoss trailhead or at the OG store on Gilbert Road in Southern. They got all the bikes, all the gear, and the best wrenches in town to get you on that trail and. And keep you on the trail. It's Action ride shop, action rideshop.com on the list. Megadeth's new one. They just came out, I think yesterday or day before. A tipping point. Pantera. The Ghost Inside. Kill switch. Engage. Holy Diver for Trevor Lawrence. Fire in the sky from Ozzy for the end of the world. Supernova goes Pop for the end of the world. Cold Chamber Demon Hunter Descendants Papa Roach Slayer Van Halen focused in on that.

[John Holmberg]

End of the world thing again. We already went through that a week ago. We got to deal with this twice. Cuz Jesus brought the wrong clock.

[Larry]

Maybe it's like when he got off the plane, it didn't reset to the new time zone and stuff like that.

[John Holmberg]

He doesn't have Apple.

[Larry]

He didn't Android. You know, if he's a green dot.

[John Holmberg]

Bubbles. Yeah. Oh, if you get a text from Jesus and it was green, how Disappointing would that be?

[Larry]

Oh, yeah. Got a poor people phone.

[John Holmberg]

Are you. Do you have an Apple? Yes, my son. Well, you're. You're running on text. You're doing sms. What's wrong with you? Get back to blue. I can't figure that out. You invented it, didn't you? Well, I know about it. I didn't necessarily invent it. You know everything. You get the blue. Like text me with what's coming, right? You already know the future I'm stuck here with. I'm in that Apple 18 you. Where's your tech? Well, I'm working on an Android. Like what? The stuff. Text me when you've got blue. I'm not listening to you.

[Larry]

I forgot to charge my phone last night.

[John Holmberg]

Lord said I've only got three. I can't get. Can you get me a wayo? Because I'm down to 3%. Idiot. Text back in green. You're an idiot. Hey, I'm your lord and savior. Yeah, your green dots, you're idiot. All right, you pick one, bro. I don't care what you got. I like Fire in the sky style. I haven't heard that for a while, but. Nah, I don't want to hear. Hear that. We can do a little Kill Switch Holy Diver. How about that for Trevor? Yeah, for Trevor. Because Trevor Lawrence picked his nose for 14 seconds on national TV last night, and that wasn't A.I. that was real. It was weird. Kill Switch did a great job with this song, even though it's a dopey song. It's Holy Diver. It's Kill Switch Engage. It's your wake up song. It's 98. Hey, it's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually.

[Brett]

No membership fees.

[John Holmberg]

I have heard enough of this. Can you PD Morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude and. Enough already. People with the AI stuff. That's enough. Do you have your papers, Brett?

[Larry]

I should get a really good. Oh, no, come on, you two. We've been talking about AI the whole time. Me, we got to go to break.

[John Holmberg]

I just looked over at you. He's got nothing in front of him. Them. Yeah, you. That's you. That's your job as a producer, to make sure everything's in front of the people when we're. That's you.

[Brett]

Like Brady said, after the break, let's.

[John Holmberg]

Do this after the break. You didn't print it. No, you idiot.

[Larry]

I'm not used to this. We did it one day.

[John Holmberg]

Come on. The Jew up show has taken a turn and two. How do I sound, by the way? Am I still. I saw that and I was like, wait a second. We're going. Started the music. I looked over like, what's he gonna read? He's gotten.

[Larry]

I could say this.

[John Holmberg]

What? Oh, what is it? Don't do the thing again. What is it? I have a dream that one day my people can figure out to stop the beeping noise that comes out of our ceiling. Oh, this is so true. All right, you jackass. Well, this will get us back on time, at least. Toledo. This dingus. And now it's less research than Brady does. At least he reads it and then prints it. You haven't done anything. Right? This is on you, right?

[Brett]

All right, I'll take that.

[John Holmberg]

You got to tell them, like, hey, are you ready for the. It's preparation, and that's the producer's job. Make sure that the time. Are you ready? Brady, you have this do. What do you need? What do you need? God damn it. Sure don't. How have we been doing this for a quarter of a century? And I have to tell both of you, this is how this. No, no, no. The Brady Report is coming in just seconds. It is. But. Yeah. And you know what? Might be. He might have to. The next one. He does might be he'll.

[Brett]

You might have to phone in to wait.

[John Holmberg]

No, that would be a catastrophe. It's 7:58. The Brady Report's right around the corner. Brett can work the printer. It's 98. 98. Holmberg's morning sickness. Now we've got things printed and figured out these two jackasses I work next to. What, by the way? I got an email from a guy that said watching the game last night, the camera went to Trevor Lawrence and he wasn't picking his nose. And this guy says that his daughter said, oh, my God. And he's like, what happened? She goes, they have girls in the NFL now. He goes, no, that guy just needs a haircut. Trevor Lawrence, I don't think he's doing himself any favors with that hair. But I fear to see how big his nose would look if he had a high and tight. That's a big ass nose. Huge. But they beat the Chiefs last night. That was fun to watch, I'll tell you that. It's time now for Brett to haphazardly give you all the news that he knows.

[Larry]

I'm. Keep it traditional.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I know well, no, this is. This is less research than what Brady does. You know, what Brady actually goes through. And I watch him sometimes. He doesn't know this, but, like, he'll get to words and I'll watch his mouth, like, start working out words that are too big. Look at him. He does it while we're talking. Sometimes he'll be looking at a piece of paper and his mouth will be like, lip syncing. Because he sees a big word and he has to work on it. At least he's doing that. He's not doing any research on details, but he does kind of lip out some big words, and it's very funny. You are so confident, Brett, in the Guido report, that this is going to just be rip and read, baby. That's what I do. It's time for Brett to give you the Brady report. It's brought to by allprochade.com. oh, my goodness. Brady's in a little commercial there with Robert from all pro Shade walking around our building and made me realize our building has no shade. And it's like there's our whole huge patio out here. These umbrellas do nothing. They do nothing. The goggles do nothing.

[Brett]

Half of them are broken anyway.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And, yeah, half them don't work. They said these shades that they could put out here would make this a usable space because it currently is not even in nice weather. It's too sunny, it's too hot. All Pro Shade will fix the that. They'll take an area that you should be using at your house and say, hey, the fact you're not using it, it's just wasting space. And that's a waste of money. So get your shade on and get those guys out there. 20 years of doing that means they're the best. Because they are. And all pro shade.com is where you go. Brett reported.

[Larry]

How you doing? Here we go. We'll start this thing off with well, it today is you matter to me day.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, thanks, buddy. Yeah.

[Larry]

It's also in Brady's honor. It is national taco Day.

[John Holmberg]

Oh.

[Larry]

Which used to be. Apparently it used to on October 4, but last year they changed it. Who changed it? Don't know. I'm sticking with the research here. Just sticking with the research here.

[John Holmberg]

You're answering. Yes, my question. I knew it was gonna come up.

[Larry]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Because you didn't look.

[Larry]

I didn't even want to ceiling tile it.

[Brett]

They say.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's. Well. Well, that's what they say. But you're saying it. Yeah. It still doesn't understand that. No. Yeah. And now you're doing it right.

[Larry]

I want to keep this traditional.

[John Holmberg]

How am I sounding? Am I right?

[Larry]

Taco Bell's offering soft tacos for a buck. Jack in a Box has two free tacos purchase.

[John Holmberg]

Man, are those.

[Larry]

And there's also deals at del Taco 7 11, El Pollo Loco, and Moe's Southwest Grill.

[John Holmberg]

This in no way is bashing Jack in the Box. It may sound like I am, but there is nothing better when you want to abuse your body with food than those giant jumbo tacos from Jack and the Box.

[Larry]

Especially after drinking.

[Brett]

They're so good.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, if you're drunk, it's ambrosia. I don't know what kind of meat that is. I don't think it's earth animal. They've mined something from space. The sea. I don't know. It could be human and I would eat it. It is such a weird texture when you. And the. And the oils in it make it look like a pot sticker or like. Like it's eating the skin of the taco from the inside. You start to see the ingredients through the shell. But man, is there that satisfying bite of whatever that meat is. It could be alpine. I don't know. It's spectacular. So I know it doesn't sound complimentary. It's not a great Yelp review, but it is the best taco going. And I don't care what anybody says, Mexicans leave me alone about this. I'm white, so I like it. Jack in the Box tacos. For my money, top three.

[Larry]

2Am too 2am number one.

[John Holmberg]

Absolutely number one. Best burrito I've ever had in my life was at the gay bar Charlie's at 2 in the morning with emo filling. Hands down, I've spent a ton of money at high end places. You're like, is this guy? And it was okay. It's just a burrito. And I've always had the theory Mexican food's hard to be highbrow. And it's really hard to screw up. You can, but for the most part you stick to the basics on it. You're going to get a pretty good deal. That Charlie's burrito at that gay bar. Oh, my God. I would have blown a guy for it. And I think I had the opportunity you could have. It was unreal. But for my money, Jack and that was our other option. Emo and I and I believe the Sklar brothers, Megan and a couple other people were in a truck and we were either going to Jack in the box at like 2:30 or then emo Phillips, the great comedian. What's that over there? I'm like, oh, it looks like a food truck at a gay bar. I'm up for it if you are. Like, all right. And that was the best moment of my time with Emo Phillips as two gay black guys stood in line behind us at that burrito thing. And Emo, if you know him, Google him. But if. If you don't know him. But Google him if you don't know him. If you do, he's standing there in a trench coat with his Emo Phillips hair. And two black guys goes. Standing behind us goes, what's this all about? Who's this Willy Wonka? And I was just like. And then Emo turned Johnny Depp stole me my character for his version of that. This. This mother right here. Crazy. Like emo. Don't talk to them. Why not? He's crazy. I liked him. We miss Emo. Get him back. Okay, we need to bring Emo home. Go ahead.

[Larry]

Speaking of tacos, I guess a while back there was a flu blogger that asked people the worst taco toppings.

[John Holmberg]

Olives. I'm not an olives guy. There he is.

[Larry]

Number two.

[John Holmberg]

Number two.

[Larry]

Number two.

[Brett]

Pickled onions.

[John Holmberg]

That's those.

[Brett]

That's a traditional.

[John Holmberg]

But is it? I thought that was the highbrow.

[Larry]

White did not make the list. But regular. Well, onion particular. Raw onion, actually.

[John Holmberg]

Awesome. Raw. I don't like that either, but that's just preference. I don't think it's a bad topping. That's just me.

[Larry]

Number one. Cilantro.

[John Holmberg]

That's a 50. 50. You put cilantro on a sock, I'll eat it. But some people hate it.

[Larry]

Black olives. Number two. Like you said, lettuce. Number three.

[John Holmberg]

What?

[Larry]

It's unclear if the issue is wilted lettuce or the wrong type or people are just.

[John Holmberg]

No, lettuce.

[Larry]

Don't want greens.

[John Holmberg]

Cabbage. Traditional is cabbage. In what mother earth world are you talking about?

[Brett]

Tacos.

[John Holmberg]

Street tacos. First off, those two words don't exist in my vocabulary. I don't eat street food.

[Larry]

Number four, you just said you did.

[John Holmberg]

No. At three in the morning when you're drunk, you'll eat. Like I said, you'll eat a candy bar from a pair of pants. But different. Toledo.

[Larry]

Number four, Cheese. Which I don't get that at all.

[John Holmberg]

Essential.

[Larry]

Yeah. And I don't know if it's a bunch of idiots. That are cheap.

[John Holmberg]

You can't interview those. It's like asking a vegan where the best steakhouse is. Right.

[Larry]

And number five was sour cream. There's a bunch of other ones here, but I like sour cream.

[John Holmberg]

Olives are. Olives are the one that I can't tolerate. Otherwise. I kind of get around all the sour cream. I'm not a fan of. I won't use it if I don't hit, but if it's on there, I'll probably go for it. Olives will just throw it out.

[Larry]

All right, some basic fun facts for you. Despite being in Service for about 20 years, the F22 has only scored three air to air kills.

[John Holmberg]

We're gonna get that fixed.

[Larry]

The first was a Chinese balloon in February of 2023.

[John Holmberg]

And we killed it. A lot of people don't know there were Chinamen in it. A lot of them. There's billions of those. A lot of Chinamen. They're very little. And they. They. They float across the sky spying on the United States. That's true. And we shoot them down in their little balloons. They're little Chinaman balloons. You get them at party city. You know when they say, made in China. There's a Chinaman in it. Nobody think it knows where it's going. It always drives itself. That's not helium. Chinese pilot. It's only got three kills and one's an empty balloon.

[Larry]

Yeah, yeah, but a Chinese balloon.

[John Holmberg]

But it was Chinese. We didn't shoot down anything but a Chinese balloon. And we're gonna get them. We're gonna go down there. We gotta pick a fight. But the beautiful F22. It's gonna kill a lot of planes. We're gonna do it.

[Larry]

When Jack Nicholas was 30, Jack Nicholson. Excuse me. When Jack Nicholson was 37, he found out the woman he thought was his sister.

[John Holmberg]

Great story.

[Larry]

Was really his mother.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Larry]

June was a show girl who was only 17 when he was born. He was raised by her parents.

[John Holmberg]

Yep. His. His mom that he knows. Oh. Is his grandmother. And his real mom, he thought was his sister for years. The work can't handle the truth. That's why they didn't tell him Madonna was his sister. Yeah. Ladonna. Ladonna Harvey. I always wondered who my real mom was. And I had a feeling she was a young piece of ass. And I was right.

[Larry]

The word dilemma originally meant a choice between two tough options. Three options was a trilemma, four options was a quadrillemma, and so on and.

[Brett]

So forth, they say.

[John Holmberg]

So dilemma was two instead of bilema.

[Larry]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Hang on.

[Larry]

Let me look at the ceiling tiles.

[John Holmberg]

Keeping up tradition Du lemma Oh, dua. I have a dualema.

[Brett]

Well, you'd like to.

[John Holmberg]

I would love to have a dual. And that's the. Then don't send me AI do a. Having sex. I like my AI to be impossibility. Do it. Has sex. That's just going to make me upset. So seeing her do it is like, oh, that stinks because it's actually happening. Hitler on a skateboard.

[Larry]

Hilarious.

[John Holmberg]

It's immediately absurd. I like my AI to be absurd. I don't like it to be sexualized Possibilities. That's just going to make me realize I'll never achieve that.

[Larry]

What about MLK with the smoke alarm?

[John Holmberg]

That too. Any. Any historic figure doing something way out of the ordinary. Bring look MLK in the smoke. There was an MLK one yesterday again. Three weeks with this new AI and we've just destroyed it with silly. He was given his I have a dream speech and then he just.

[Larry]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

In the middle of it he goes, I have a dream. And everybody just started to clap and look at each other like, what's he doing? And then he just left. And you see him running off to a restaurant. I'm not going to say the name of the restaurant, but he was in Top Speed.

[Larry]

Four people sent that to me already. I didn't play that.

[John Holmberg]

I pissed myself. Myself because I didn't see that part coming because he was so distracted by the corner of his eye. Restaurant. It's terrible. But don't. Nobody can get upset about that when I've watched Stephen Hawking land on his head in a half pipe a hundred times. Everything about it is bad. You can't email. Go. I can't believe you said that about mlk. I'm like, did you hear me? Hitler was a Kansas City chief for a few seconds. All of it's bad. Stick from ass removal. And let's just move on, all right?

[Larry]

Halloween's 24. 24 days away. Exactly.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you're right.

[Larry]

I don't even know what I'm do for that. But I do.

[John Holmberg]

I know what you're gonna do.

[Larry]

Well, I know where I'll be.

[John Holmberg]

I have something for you.

[Larry]

Oh, no.

[John Holmberg]

It's a necessity. It's good. You and Brady both.

[Larry]

Well, wait a minute.

[John Holmberg]

I have it for you and it's gonna be great. Trust me. It's easy too. You've already got the. You've already got it.

[Larry]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

You need to hat. All right.

[Larry]

I can wear a hat every day.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you're a good one. Not that white. We got you. Although that would Work, but not for what I want you to do. You're gonna love it.

[Larry]

A new survey asked Americans to rate how much they love Halloween. And the. Basically by state.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Larry]

And the fanatics basically seem to be in like Delaware, Idaho, North Dakota, probably because there's not a goddamn thing to do over there. But.

[John Holmberg]

Well, Mormons. Family.

[Brett]

Lots of Mormons.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Safety. Get to dance with the devil a little bit. Bit. You know, it's the closest they get to evil outside of blowing each other and being gay with the neighbors and not talking about it. I've seen it. I've seen the peacock special. I know what's going on up there.

[Brett]

Out in our neighborhood in Mesa. It's a trunk or treat. Lives out in Mesa.

[John Holmberg]

Dudes are handing each other old fashions like crazy over there in those. I watch the documentaries. I know what's going on.

[Brett]

Double skiers.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think there's three in the car. I think there's. I know that was that documentary that the guy said the right. This is what friends do.

[Brett]

Keep sweet. No, that was.

[John Holmberg]

No, that was different.

[Larry]

That was Warren Jeff's like the.

[John Holmberg]

The neighbors next door or something. Like it was a peacock thing about. It was a true story. That was great. And the neighborhood, you know, convinced the other Mormons that giving him a hand job was what friends do. Ah. Then he banged the guy's wife. What a story.

[Larry]

Can you guess the state with the least.

[John Holmberg]

Least Halloween spirit is the least Halloween spirit. I'm gonna go with either Utah or someplace miserable.

[Brett]

I'll go big. I'll go New York.

[John Holmberg]

Well, someplace that doesn't want to give things away for free.

[Brett]

Connecticut.

[John Holmberg]

No, they love showing off their houses. Say West Virginia.

[Larry]

You're sitting right in the.

[John Holmberg]

Arizona.

[Larry]

Arizona.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. We don't like Halloween.

[Larry]

We don't know if it's because it's 90 degrees and you're out and masks and everything else, but apparently scored 3.7 out of 5.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding.

[Larry]

In Halloween.

[Brett]

Well, in your hood, all the decorations.

[John Holmberg]

It's one house.

[Brett]

Oh, I thought you said there were multiple houses.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's one.

[Brett]

All washed away with the monsoon.

[John Holmberg]

One house and multiple decorations that got swapped and they.

[Brett]

Were they all inflatable?

[John Holmberg]

No, there's like a 40 foot skeleton. There's some PVC pipe with dirt and cotton on it and that got knocked over. It's terrible. This looks like garbage in your front yard. None of the other neighbors have done it. There's a one down the street has done a nice job with lights. They made kind of These orangish mauve. Like it's very haunted looking, but it's classy. It looks nice. It's not dirt and cotton balls in your front yard pretending that you haven't washed for years.

[Larry]

And how many pounds of candy do you guys normally buy?

[John Holmberg]

Pounds.

[Larry]

Yeah. Cuz here's. The average American spends two.

[John Holmberg]

I don't get a ton. Oh really? I don't get a ton of people. 2. You probably get a lot. Yeah, but I. I get like two or three bags total.

[Larry]

The average American purchases 4.5 bags.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Larry]

And they're usually a couple pounds, you know, they're at least the Costco bag.

[Brett]

Will last us usually.

[Larry]

I think we still got stuff in our freezer from last Halloween, to be honest with you.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's going in 24 days.

[Larry]

Damn right fine. It's been frozen.

[John Holmberg]

It's fine. I spent a year saving condiments from lunches at work once. And that was my Halloween giveaway. Like the kimlon and mustard packs and all sorts. For a whole year. Me and my friend Colin, just give me your.

[Brett]

Give me your little cup of sesame seeds.

[John Holmberg]

Mayonnaise. No, we didn't go with the perishables. It had to be sealed. We weren't perverts. We weren't trying to poison the children. It's like the candy apple that was homemade. It was in the packets. Hellman's mayonnaise. Never ate mayonnaise. But they always give you ton. So anytime we'd go to lunch, we'd ask for extra condiments and then had a big bowl of them. Kids loved it because you know why? We gave them stuff to squish in the front yards and the roads. Like the ketchup packs were getting squattered and was hilarious.

[Larry]

What do you remember? Remember when we were giving away. I don't know if we should mention the brand, but those, those cases of candy here.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah.

[Larry]

Benjamin had those things. We literally.

[John Holmberg]

Cases to the ceiling or the hot tamales.

[Larry]

Okay. I didn't know if we, you know, why not?

[John Holmberg]

It wasn't their fault.

[Brett]

They were delicious. But we had had them. We had so many.

[Larry]

I took a. I mean the boxes were this big. I took a case home. I was giving them away for three years. I just kept throwing them in. Kids love me because I just dig in.

[John Holmberg]

Just a handful. This is a never ending supply of hot tamales at my work. Yeah, I, I don't think I ever stole hot tamales. No.

[Larry]

Randall's like, get them out of here. I'm like, all right, cool.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, forgot about that.

[Larry]

All right, let's see here. What. What's something you just don't get the appeal of at all? Taylor Swift, Survey of it.

[John Holmberg]

She on it?

[Larry]

She's on the list.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I don't like some people. It's cilantro. She's human cilantro. Some people love her and other people just don't get it.

[Larry]

She's number eight on the list.

[John Holmberg]

As a matter of fact.

[Brett]

Boba tea.

[John Holmberg]

Boba tea's up there. Pumpkin spice.

[Brett]

Yeah, that's another one.

[Larry]

No. Oh, no. It is number 16 on the list.

[John Holmberg]

Pumpkin spices, pumpkin spice.

[Larry]

Probably just because it's not a year long thing.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know if it's still applicable. But friends.

[Larry]

The show or people.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, the show. And also people. I don't understand, like having friends know the show. It's not on there because it's not up to date. Morning sickness medicate. Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Larry]

I mean, here's just some. Just some basic ones. Trendy water bottles that you see these broads walking around with.

[John Holmberg]

What you say? It sounds true.

[Brett]

My broads got one.

[John Holmberg]

See, because broads have them. What are those called?

[Brett]

Stanley.

[John Holmberg]

Stanley's. Yeah, they're just thermoses that are pink.

[Larry]

Worshiping a celebrity or even worse, an influencer.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that I. I don't understand the worship part.

[Larry]

Leaving the house. That's. Larry must have been surveyed in this one.

[John Holmberg]

That is overrated.

[Larry]

Strip club's on the list at number five.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I've never gotten that. I've gone.

[Larry]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And I've had a good time with friends. But I don't get the appeal of the strip club.

[Larry]

Like, I'll go if everybody's. Let's go to strip club. All right, fine, let's go. Whatever. But I'm never gonna suggest it. Let's go.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna set you up on a date that costs you a couple hundred dollars. And she'll get naked, but you can't touch her.

[Brett]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

You'd say, absolutely not. That's terribly stupid. Stupid. But it's like if five or six of us can go and watch her do it and make fun of her, I'll do that. But I'm not there for the. Like I don't get going to a strip club for the titillation.

[Larry]

No pun intended.

[John Holmberg]

No, there's a word in there. Pun.

[Larry]

This one you won't like. Number four, sports betting. Also slot machines.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I know. I understand why people wouldn't get it. Yeah, yeah. It's not appealing to everybody.

[Larry]

Number three, being mean to animals.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that should be number one to me first. Yeah.

[Larry]

Number two being mean just to seem cool. And number one, social places where the music is too loud to talk to anyone.

[John Holmberg]

That's old people.

[Larry]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So Brady and Larry were quizzed. There's just a lot of noise in there.

[Larry]

According to this survey, 39% of people have experienced the one that got away.

[John Holmberg]

39 people have had a one that got away. Yeah.

[Larry]

I mean, Katy Perry wrote a song.

[John Holmberg]

About it, and Jeffrey Dahmer definitely had that. The one that got away got him arrested.

[Larry]

Ted Bundy.

[John Holmberg]

Ted Bundy had one get away. I've never had one get away.

[Larry]

I don't think so either.

[John Holmberg]

They're gone for a reason. Well, exactly, Brad. You saying that's scary.

[Larry]

Whoa, whoa, wait a minute.

[John Holmberg]

They don't come back for a reason. Have you had other one that Got Away vibe?

[Larry]

No.

[John Holmberg]

I'd like to.

[Larry]

I don't.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah. In my twenties.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. You.

[Larry]

I don't think so.

[John Holmberg]

Absolutely. But that's just a bad breakup. One that got away is one.

[Brett]

No, it was a good breakup, but.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but, like, if she called now, if you were available, you would. That's. That's. The One that Got away is that you lament for years, and then you want to rekindle it if it happens?

[Brett]

I guess so.

[Larry]

I. I don't. Because, I mean, you know, maybe at first you think about that, but then, like, after looking at hindsight, you're like, there's a reason why that, you know, Come on.

[John Holmberg]

You get closure on it.

[Larry]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And if it's still lingering, it just means you never got over it. That's the one that got away. And I know people are like, man, if I get another shot with that person, it'd be great. I know for a fact no one wants to do that with me, so I better. Why waste my time thinking of the one that got away? Because you imagine that you go to get to the one that got away, and she looks at you like, this is not mutual. I'm calling her police now. You're just a guy on someone's porch.

[Larry]

You think Bright Adams girl sitting there thinking about that for me?

[John Holmberg]

No, she's thinking, how do I steal more painkillers? She's not thinking about me at all. In fact, what probably drove her to painkillers was me. She was busy plagiarizing songs as love notes, and then she found that. That happy medium of Dilaudid and ended up thinking about that more than anything else. The one that Got away. Was, you know, her dealer.

[Larry]

All right, let's jump into crazy broad news.

[John Holmberg]

I think we just did.

[Larry]

Yeah, well, that's true, too. We'll continue on then.

[John Holmberg]

I wonder if she still recognizes my voice, because that's. Evidently. It's just completely different.

[Larry]

A Florida woman was arrested for throwing dozens of used feminine hygiene products on her ex's lawn.

[John Holmberg]

She saved up. This means this is intent. This is when murderers have been plotting. How many?

[Larry]

It's unclear the exact amount, but they.

[John Holmberg]

Didn'T even count them.

[Larry]

Reports say there were between 75 to 100 tampons.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. All right, that's. That's 20 periods. Unless she's going heavy flow three, four times a day.

[Larry]

Yeah, I don't.

[John Holmberg]

How many do girls go through in a week when they're having a real bad one? Like 10.

[Brett]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

They got to glop out two or three a day if they're having a tough one.

[Brett]

Think.

[John Holmberg]

And then it gets light. So first day, maybe two, second, third, three. So you're at nine. Nine a period. So let's go there. Yeah. She's hitting seven periods before she find. And she had them in some Ziploc in her fridge. Maybe Tripp's right. Maybe I shouldn't do this anymore. So she.

[Larry]

She was arrested for this because they. They caught her on security cam, you know, your blank cameras or whatever out there. She initially denied it until they showed her the footage of her truck pulling away, and she. She tried to throw her mom and aunt under the bus, saying it was their idea.

[John Holmberg]

It could have been.

[Larry]

Possibly. She's also. Yeah, yeah, she's a local fire woman. She's paid on paid or. She's been placed on paid leave, and she's been charged with two counts of misdemeanor stalking.

[John Holmberg]

She didn't get, like, a littering charge?

[Larry]

I guess not.

[John Holmberg]

Isn't that a fire hazard?

[Larry]

You would think she should know.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, I would light myself on fire if I walked in my front yard and found 75 used tampons.

[Brett]

What happened here?

[Larry]

I call Hazmat.

[John Holmberg]

First off, it was be like, where's the puppy?

[Larry]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, your whole front yard would be just puppies. Just chowing down on those. They love them. Oh, that's horrible. Well, she needs to go to jail.

[Larry]

Oh, 100.

[John Holmberg]

That's sociopath stuff.

[Larry]

How about five signs you walked into a bad bar?

[John Holmberg]

Okay, five signs you walked into a bad bar. Well, I know one sign. I've actually lived it. The lesbian owner pushes you in the.

[Larry]

Back did not make little Martin McGuire.

[John Holmberg]

Five signs. You want the smell? I think the first thing would be smells of fish. There you go.

[Larry]

Lack of cleanliness and organization. We'll go with that. Dirty glassware, dusty bottles on the shelves, sticky bar top.

[John Holmberg]

Another sign you've walked into a bad bar. Off track betting did not make the list. It's in there. You got a bad bar.

[Larry]

Must be number six.

[Brett]

Come on. You enjoyed your time up at. What was it, Castaways up here with the otb.

[John Holmberg]

That day the guy was going to stab another guy.

[Brett]

He was going to stab you for.

[John Holmberg]

Opening day of baseball. He had a bet on a. On a carriage race in Florida. And he. This guy, this dude, and he was mad that it lost, and he had a knife on his hip, and we thought he was going to start to stab him. It was Mark Sanchez. Yeah. Otb. I told that lady that ran Brenda's Inferno, that was once the Armadillo Grill. After they. Well, yeah, but I told her, I said, this is nice what you've done here. Because she was on bar rescue. And I remember. She goes, what do you think? And I'm like, it looks beautiful. I'm like, but you still have a problem. She goes, what? And I'm like, over there. And it looked like, you know, people who were on a. Like a merchant marine ship or like. Like these were just old sailors. Like, you see those old pirate movies. The dudes who rode. That was all sitting in one tooth. They had bandanas around a patch over their eye, and they're otb. And I'm like, you got to get rid of that or we're not coming. Like, people like me won't come back because they're angry a lot as their life ain't working out and they're trying. They're chasing money. Like, you don't want people chasing their bills in your restaurant. It's such a huge money maker. I'm like, well, then become an OTP and you're doing something wrong. Exactly. Then the other thing you should be making money is because her food got good. Everything's good. She was so nice. But she asked me, and I told her, for true, it's the OTB people. And the worst part was the TVs for OTB events were on the west wall. The OTB bedding desk was on the east. So everybody. Everybody had to walk through the bar to go make a bet. And these were some super filthy people. And they did. And how you doing? Every time they'd walk by and like, they.

[Larry]

I mean, These are pretty good, actually. Number five was a general lack of knowledge.

[John Holmberg]

Genital like.

[Larry]

No, general.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Larry]

Like basic skills. Like you may tell somebody. Making old fashioned. They kind of look at you like.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, yeah. They basically make margaritas and.

[Larry]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Dory sours.

[Larry]

Bartender has an ego. I'm not a bartender. I'm a mixologist.

[John Holmberg]

One of those. Yes.

[Larry]

Let's see here. No one says hi. You just. Oh, too many signature cocktails. A few is fine, but too many is a sign none of them are.

[John Holmberg]

We're not talking about dive bars.

[Larry]

We're talking about just bars in general. Just bars in general? Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

All gays did not make the list. That's a sign. I know. I've walked into a place I shouldn't be. 93. 3. What a drink.

[Larry]

And there's a few of these. And I told you one before we went on the air. But we'll do like a. Back in this day, on October 7th, 17 years ago, Spotify officially launched.

[John Holmberg]

Launched. This isn't the best day to do that, by the way, is what it is. Because two years ago was kind of a. The winner for October 7th. Yeah, that was one of them. What do you want me to do?

[Larry]

Just give the creature and create the day.

[John Holmberg]

Guido news. What do you want me to do?

[Larry]

I didn't. I didn't create the day.

[John Holmberg]

There's been more than just one bad October 7th. Anyway, Spotify kicked.

[Larry]

Well, here. Let's just kick it more than that. So five years ago in 2020, getting closer, Adam Sandler's Hubie Halloween was released.

[John Holmberg]

All right. The second worst October 7th in my lifetime.

[Larry]

Schwarzenegger was elected governor of California 22 years ago.

[John Holmberg]

That was 22 years ago.

[Larry]

20 years ago, boy George was arrested for having 13 bags of coke in his apartment.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. How long was that?

[Larry]

It was 20 years ago.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Larry]

57 years ago. Red letter date, 1968. The motion picture association of America adopted its film rating system ranging from G.

[John Holmberg]

To X was the final. And I think. Was it the Exorcist? That was first.

[Larry]

It was supposed to be, but they edited it down so it could be an R. That's right. That's good.

[John Holmberg]

No. All right, Done.

[Larry]

I'm done here. I'm done with this one.

[John Holmberg]

Bandage that. How you doing? All right. Yeah. Don't go back two years because it's a nasty anniversary. I think it would be nice if they bookended October 7th nightmare of two years ago by signing the peace deal today. That would be a nice round thing to make it, you know, and that's what politicians look for, is like story stories. It sure would be great if that whole thing ended. I'm not seeing that happening for real, but it would sure be nice. Trump was on last night. We're really looking at me fixing 3,000 plus years of trouble. I'm like, he's not wrong. If he can pull this off and it actually works. I just. It. Will it work if it sticks? Yeah.

[Brett]

Like you're saying.

[John Holmberg]

But Anyway, Spotify started 17 years ago. Let's focus on that. October 2nd. Yeah, exactly.

[Brett]

Brady's presence is still felt. He sent me two.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Oh, he got videos today. All right.

[Brett]

Two videos.

[John Holmberg]

So this is like. This looks like something.

[Brett]

I'm just gonna play them. I have no context.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. This looks like a. A painting. It's come to life. It's like a family walking through a field. Oh, Jesus. And insert the silverback gorilla that just starts pushing these people around. I didn't. And this is not AI. They're wandering around dressed like the Von Traps. And evidently they're in Brazil.

[Brett]

Well, Africa is it.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know where those people started. They aren't?

[Brett]

No.

[John Holmberg]

You sure? Yes. Okay. Well, he's mad at Jane Goodall. Died a couple days ago. So boom, man. He takes out one of the Von Traps. Though the hills are alive with the holy. What's that?

[Brett]

Brady's dream scenario. Him and the whole family there.

[John Holmberg]

It touched me.

[Brett]

Here's the second one.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Brett]

This is a full on Brady.

[John Holmberg]

There's something weird in the middle of the street. Oh, it's an Indian man in the puddles of street water. And he's reaching down and he's eating stuff out of this. The storm sewer drain. The side of the street is covered in rainwater and slop. And this dude is scooping it up and. Oh.

[Brett]

Right in front of the fresh food market.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not kidding.

[Brett]

He's getting more dirt and more stuff.

[John Holmberg]

John sitting in front of fresh fruit.

[Brett]

Oh, God.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. That. That nation.

[Brett]

Oh, first comments on there. That's India's final boss.

[John Holmberg]

That is. He is scooping up. What do they call it? Like the. The side of the road where the water gathers. Drainage. The drain.

[Larry]

Yeah, the gutter.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, gutter. The gutter. And there's mud and strings and 75 tampons from a fire. Lady's house. House. That would be a meal to him. Protein, nutrients. Good iron in these bloody little white things. God. All right, Bert, what do you got?

[Larry]

All right, we're late. In no particular order.

[Brett]

Oh, we're good.

[John Holmberg]

No, I know, cuz we got the spots up.

[Larry]

You're welcome. Me and Toledo did that.

[John Holmberg]

I barely recognize the voice of my own headphones. You got to give me a break. Today.

[Larry]

Some. Somebody found Brady walking around Ohio.

[John Holmberg]

That guy dressed as Spider Man. That is Brady. Oh, my God. That is Brady. It is a vaudevillian.

[Larry]

And the dance and everything else.

[John Holmberg]

Mug for the camera dress.

[Larry]

We still got Brian Adams playing here. Let me kill that.

[John Holmberg]

It. Somehow another worked.

[Larry]

I know.

[John Holmberg]

With Brady Spider man wandering around Athens, Ohio.

[Larry]

All right, jump over to the. I don't know what this is.

[John Holmberg]

All right, this is a woman. And Is that a bathtub? It's an old lady. Well, it's an old vagina on a woman. Oh, God. That's a. Did that used to be a fella? I don't know what this is, but there's a toy attached to another mechanism, and she's in a shallow bathtub with no water in it. She looks like David Byrne from the Talking Head. That used to be a guy. Oh, the rosebud is beautiful. Up. That dude eating out of the gutter was eating fresher stuff than what I'm looking at. Oh, my God. And this is just.

[Larry]

Is this gonna start having fun now?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's just going in and out of whatever the hell that is. That used to be a man. I think we're looking at a reconstructed situation here. And it's not in the rosebud. It's going in there. It's going in the manhole. The fingers are now. Oh, my God. Oh, it's got two parts. And this former dude is. Oh, for Christ's sake, Brett. Oh, my God. Ah. I didn't need to see David Byrne doing that. You may ask yourself, where did my dick go? All right, next little car action. We got motorcycles and mopeds and a semi truck. This is a terrible nation. Oh, yeah. Oh, there's a car that's run into a light pole. It's actually relatively nice suv.

[Brett]

Somebody's in it.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no, there'll be a motorcycle.

[Brett]

Oh, that's a person.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's a person. They cut a person in half at the front of a tundra. Okay, that's not good. Wow. There's a person got smooshed up against that light pole.

[Larry]

They sent this one to me because apparently this is. This is me on the west side.

[John Holmberg]

All right, we are at a drive through. It looks like a drive through of some sort. A car pulls up next to the car in the drive through. I think I'm getting this right.

[Larry]

They call it an Italian pizza.

[John Holmberg]

Now another. Oh, they walk. Oh, this is. Oh, my God. The guy just lit up the car with a rifle of some sort of automatic weapon. And just. Wow. That I didn't expect. Did that have no sound? That's a surveillance thing. He's still standing outside the car. Oh, he reloaded and came back and did more. He hates that car. There's a dude on the other side some. Wow. Oh, this is fresh out of a Scorsese movie, this. Oh, now he opened the door and he keeps shooting. I'm gonna ask a dumb question. Guy inside. Okay. Yeah.

[Larry]

Oh, there you go.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no, there's a picture of the guy that. All right, I don't need to see that. Oh, these are violent. Go back to that old man in the bathtub again. That was nice.

[Larry]

This one's called stop, drop, and roll.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Oh, somebody's on fire in the front yard. And somebody inside's just filming. There's a guy in their yard rolling around on fire, and they're just filming it from the window. Go out and put a hose on him. Yes. Oh, they're Russian. They don't go outside for anybody. Somebody deserved it. Go hose him off. Do you have hoses in your crappy country? That's how that ends. Yeah, they shut the blinds. Yeah.

[Larry]

Hey, none of my business.

[John Holmberg]

Yes, it is none of my business. It's international news now. There you go.

[Larry]

This is a Halloween spirit for you.

[John Holmberg]

All right. The lady holding it, was that a tarantula? Oh, she's just eating a tarantula. Oh. Oh, she's chewing it. She didn't. She seems to like it. She's a Pacific Islander of some sort.

[Larry]

That's your next vacation.

[John Holmberg]

Toledo's next international meal. That's your cuisine. Okay, what am I looking at? This is all over the map.

[Larry]

Oh, yeah, we're all over today.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, here's a close up of a. All right, it sounds like she's shooting arrows. Is that a lady part? Yes.

[Larry]

It's not a fart. Let's just say.

[John Holmberg]

Stop it, 93 3.

[Larry]

And we'll just end with this one.

[John Holmberg]

Like. You want to play it again? No, it's. Well, yeah, it sounded like movie sound effects of an arrow. Like. Not this part. Yeah, that part. And hitting a bullseye. That. And then it hits the bullseye. It's just a lady shooting arrows in a cartoon. That's a bullseye again. You hear this through the air. It's like Bryan Adams and the Three Musketeers. Movie or Robin Hood or whatever it was.

[Larry]

And we'll end with this one. This one's entitled that's how Sausage is made.

[John Holmberg]

This is how sausage gets Made. Oh, no. All right, we've got. What is that bowl under a butt? Oh, it's a bag under a butt. Oh, and she's pooping out hot dogs. Perfectly clean pink hot dogs.

[Brett]

4.

[John Holmberg]

Four hot dogs in a bag. Oh, they're gonna take these and eat them, aren't they? Oh, no. Okay, good. The video started over. It loops back to just. Okay. I was worried they were gonna have a barbecue and stuff and feed them to people, those things. That's a big ass, too. That's cardi. B size clean, though. Yeah, it's spotless. Yeah, those are fresh.

[Larry]

Marlon would be proud. Clean.

[John Holmberg]

Yep. Me and Marlon Wayans both have very clean behinds. Well, there you go. Thanks, bro. Bert. Interesting. He took over for Brady while Brady's not here. And that is your guido report. He screwed it up to start, but there you go. It's 8:48. It's 98 KUPD. Thanks, Brad. Hey, it's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee. I have heard enough of this for you. P.D. hornberg's morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. 90 and just. You know what? I'm going to teach some lessons right now. Richard. I'm gonna. I don't know where Brett went. I think he's gone. I think. Oh, he just took off. There he is. His meander around the hall. I got sent a thing here through emails that basically has a picture of a beautiful blonde girl who has. It's her mug shot and she's crying. And I know deep down all men feel this way. Nice. And this is the nurturing side of men.

[Brett]

All men feel this way.

[John Holmberg]

All men. There isn't a man out there that doesn't feel this way. And ladies, you know it. You abuse it. When you're pretty and even if you're not, but I wouldn't deal with you, and you're pretty and you've been crying. There's no more attractive face to a man. Am I right? Because it's our job to be like the guy who solves that. Right? We're there. We're the. We're the pillar of strength. Women abuse this. They cry at the drop of a hat to try to make you feel it weakens a man. But look at how beautiful this girl's mug shot is. Because she's pretty.

[Larry]

Yeah, my bad.

[John Holmberg]

But she's been crying. But here's the life lesson from somebody who's been around a minute and Tripps warned me or told me about this for the last 24 hours. You're old now. You sound so old now. I'm like, I think it's just your ears. And that's what I've. After all this thought 24 hours later of him saying that to me, that I sound different now because he thinks I'm old. I think it's just. He's old, and his ears are changing. Turn up your miracle there. Maybe that's it. I sound the same either way. She's 26. She works at a chain restaurant. She's very pretty.

[Larry]

That's not bad.

[John Holmberg]

And she. I don't know her name. Does it have a name on yours? And I'm not saying the chain restaurant, because this goes. Goes to all chain restaurants. Hot and 26, working at a chain restaurant, Valtrex, I guarantee you that she has something going on down south that isn't pretty, and it has stopped her from progressing as a human being.

[Larry]

Well, I mean, isn't. Isn't steak 44 kind of a chain restaurant?

[John Holmberg]

No, not like, you know what I'm talking about. Talking about stake 44. They're pulling in some serious cash. That's a career, okay? If you're making a career out of, you know, the national chains, the chain.

[Brett]

Ones with crappy celebrity chefs.

[John Holmberg]

Well, there's no. Let's not go crazy. But, I mean, if you've got free soup and free breadsticks for hours on.

[Larry]

End, oh, I'm out.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. No, it's. The breadsticks are the best in the world. No, it's the mama never made breadsticks like this. If you've got free Biscayne biscuits coming at you for months, you know, so she gets into a fight with some customers. It was a $94 bill. They didn't tip her, and she went back and. Great line. Unlimited breadsticks doesn't mean unlimited free labor. And she hit the guy in the chest with a bag of breadsticks. Well, the dude, because he's in a chain restaurant, wouldn't stand for it, called the police immediately because he is a man who I think is of the world, an international renaissance man who recognizes recognized. Sure, she's hot, and, yeah, she's crying and looks great, but she works at an intern At a national chain restaurant. And she's really hot. Valtrex. Something's not right. I can't be interested in her. So it's a great life lesson to teach a young man or young woman in this day and age that it's a quick way without, like, doctor's paperwork or getting to that awkward time where right before you do the deed that she has to tell you, I've got some something. Nobody beautiful in their mid to late 20s is working at a chain restaurant where $94 bill happens and they need that money. Life hasn't worked out. I'm going to go so far as to say. I bet she takes public transit. To be warned. Boys, Uncle Johnny has spoken. And don't let him fool you. He's been around the block. Can you hear it? He's old now. I don't know. You just sound older. But now I'm giving sage advice to the youth. You'd fall for that.

[Larry]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You're gonna end up.

[Larry]

Name tag.

[John Holmberg]

That's a good way to see it.

[Larry]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

A name tag. Tag.

[Larry]

Hi, I'm Kimberly.

[John Holmberg]

And she points to it. If she's got that going on and you get free bread from her, you might be on to something there. Get free bread. You get free bread and soup from somebody who's got a name tag and they're hot. You probably got some Valtrex heading your way.

[Brett]

Bring me a bowl of salad, doll.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. If she tells you I want to have sex with you, but I don't have any more Bictar. And I know Biktarvey's for people assigned. Female at birth or male, not for people. I love that part of the commercial. Big Tarvey doesn't work for people assigned female at birth. I'm like, assigned. You mean I have to do a project for that? Anyway, she's beautiful. I don't know her name. She's from St. Louis. And people are sending me all this stuff. Also, tip your goddamn waitresses. Especially if they're humping free breadsticks and whatever. They got a lot of Valtrex. Watch to goodbye. You don't want to piss off a lady with bumps who probably has some irritation. She's got a piece of string up her ass crack because she's hot. She's. She's still dressing the part even though it's off limits. It's basically. Remember when the Duke boys used to go from a paved road to a dirt road? That's what she is.

[Larry]

She'd be taking the bumpy road.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. She's the bumpy road. She's the one where they, like Luke would grab bow and go, hang on. Like, that's your trouble. So. And then the horn, right? You're not. You're not far off. Brett's following. You're sticking around with me on that one. I guess that when she pulls her panties down, that noise happens because it's very Dukes of Hazard. And the word hazard applies. The hell was that? Oh, I'm 26. I work at a chain restaurant. I hand out soup and bread for free. I have diseases. If she's decent looking, you know, some average broad, she's fine. Pound that one. The hot ones will fool you. And she's crying and looks fantastic. Crying. All men, deep down, are attracted to a beautiful crying woman. It's something in our DNA. We can't help ourselves. It's beautiful. It's so basic. Baby fawn, kind of helpless. We need you, need me kind of look, and it's. We're useless to it. Hypnotized. If Matthias starts batting those eyes and they get all red or you made her cry, because I'm sure you have.

[Brett]

He knows.

[John Holmberg]

And then she comes back and looks at you. You're. You're useless. And a lot of beautiful women abuse that by crying at everything. And after a while, it wears off. But if you use it right, that pretty girl crying trick is brutal. To us, it's kryptonite. You start sobbing, you're hot.

[Larry]

Then after a while, it's like, now we're gonna go do this again.

[John Holmberg]

Stop crying. Pull your pants up. That's. That's the sound Valtrek should make every time it gets opened. We're going on to the bumpy road. Hold on, Bo. Anyway, I just wanted to give a little life lesson because I've gotten this same picture from this girl about four times. I don't know when this happened. It must be new, because I've gotten it a couple times today. A one day ago. So I don't know her name, but she's very pretty. But she works at a national chain. You know what no one's ever said to. Oh, my God, Dave, your wife is gorgeous. Yeah. She works at Cracker Barrel. Oh. And then the guy will go, oh, I see. That's exactly right.

[Larry]

Sky. Brian said the first time he saw the picture before reading the story, he thought it was another teacher with a teenage boy.

[John Holmberg]

It has that look.

[Larry]

It does? Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Mine works at Garcia's. I see. She's got to go down and get medicine every three months for Cheap at the Mexican rx. We got hot releases coming up in just a little bit. Get ready for it. It's 98. It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees. I have heard enough of this morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. Oh, we're doing a little Aussie tribute for the Night of the Singing Dead there. It's gonna happen on Halloween up at Desert Ridge. Getting excited about that. Tickets aren't available yet, but they will.

[Brett]

Be like the whole night or.

[John Holmberg]

Or what you talking about? No, no, we're doing. We're doing a segment normally we do like one. We're doing a little 3 Pete there. And for Oz, it's a big year losing Aussie like that. So he's in there. I can't wait for that. It's gonna be fun. And I can't wait. My costume's amazing. Here's the thing about my Halloween costume this year. It's great, but it's prosthetic. There's a lot of glue. And every year I do this, it gets harder and harder to take off. Well, Johnny wasn't paying attention to his schedule too well. October 31st, Night of the Singing Dead. Now, normally I come out of that thing, amazing mess, plastered glue all over my face. I've got these prosthetics. November 1st, which is the next day. I'm the host of the Loster Home Pet Rescue, Sit Stay brunch at like 11am I'm gonna have to. So the costume is going to be disturbing for the charity brunch that I'll be doing the next day. I have to ask them about that. Otherwise I gotta stay up all night and scrub this stuff. It takes hours to get that stuff off. Off. And it's brutal. But we'll let you know when the tickets go on sale and everything. Governor Hobbs. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Is he dead? Is he dead? Is he dead? Who is he? Brady, is he dead?

[Larry]

No, he's just on vacation.

[Katie Hobbs]

Hi, Brett.

[John Holmberg]

Hi, Katie.

[Katie Hobbs]

I thought for sure that the state felt lighter. The chair's empty. That looks better, I think. I love what you guys have done with the place.

[Brett]

Hi, Katie.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I mean, there's some stuff I.

[Katie Hobbs]

Still would move, but what you've done is awesome. Like, you've really. It's like spring cleaning in October. You got rid of a lot of dead Weight, Brad. Speaking of, how's your grandma? How's Grandma, Mathias?

[John Holmberg]

That's not my grandma.

[Katie Hobbs]

Oh, it's not?

[Larry]

No.

[Katie Hobbs]

Great grandma. I like that part. I was driving in cuz I didn't hear Brady for two days. And I said he's dead.

[John Holmberg]

He's dead.

[Katie Hobbs]

He's dead. So I drove down and I heard John talking about your grandma crying cuz you hit her. And I thought I was.

[John Holmberg]

I thought.

[Katie Hobbs]

John, that was the funniest thing you said in a long time.

[John Holmberg]

Thanks, Governor.

[Katie Hobbs]

Yeah, the fun part was that I pictured it and she was wrong.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, there you go.

[Katie Hobbs]

How come I did that? Are you sure he's not dead? Has anyone heard from him? Oh, okay. Well, fingers crossed.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know.

[Katie Hobbs]

Unfortunately, with the government shutdown, I have to close the airport. So it looks like Brady's not gonna make it back anytime soon.

[Brett]

No, no, no. That's a federal shutdown. It's not.

[Katie Hobbs]

I gotta shut down the federal airport. I think I should get involved a little.

[Brett]

Maybe just flights from Ohio or what?

[Katie Hobbs]

Probably. That's a good start. And then all interstate travel. And then also I want to help out with assisted suicide of one person.

[John Holmberg]

Who?

[Katie Hobbs]

Your grandma. She looks. I saw a picture of her on the Internet. You put her up on your Instagram. And I started thinking, oh my God, AI's gone too far. That doesn't even look human. Then I realized, oh, it's not bad. It's not AI. That's a real person in a Halloween costume as a corpse. And it wasn't turned out she was just that the stores buying Metamucil and diapers. Okay, bye guys.

[Larry]

Bye, Katie.

[Katie Hobbs]

Let's hope Brady's plane fell. Kay.

[Brett]

You didn't sound very earnest in there.

[Katie Hobbs]

Is there anybody training for flight up at Embry Riddle again. That could fly Brady back.

[John Holmberg]

Too far. Bye. That is not right, Katie.

[Larry]

Hob expect her to show up.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't either. But Brady's not here. And she loves it when he's not here. She actually likes him. State is lighter, technically. It's time now for the hot releases. And they're brought to you by our [e-mail]. save thousands, save time. Buy online at newac unit.com Three easy steps. You'll be on your way to that brand new AC unit that may have gotten you through the summer. Got another few days to go before it's officially off for air conditioning. But then that heat comes on. Same thing thing. And if it ain't working, it ain't working. Be ready for next year, if you got a 10 year old system, you start looking into it and that's the place to go. New ac unit.com. toledo go first. All right.

[Brett]

First up today.

[John Holmberg]

Whoa, sorry.

[Brett]

Right there.

[John Holmberg]

That got me.

[Brett]

This actually came out last week, but we didn't get to it during the hot releases because we were so busy.

[John Holmberg]

But go ahead. Sorry. I'm excited. I'm jumping ahead. Go ahead. No, no.

[Brett]

On Netflix. Monster, this one is for you. Monster. The Ed Gein Story starring Charlie Hun.

[John Holmberg]

There's something real dark about you. Eddie Keene, Edward Keane.

[Brett]

Then Brady had mentioned during the entertainment draw that he actually visited the grave to kind of say goodbye to the character.

[John Holmberg]

Dude got into it too much. Who is it? Charlie.

[Brett]

Charlie Hunnam from Sons of Anarchy.

[John Holmberg]

Only a mother could love you. Oh, this is gonna be so. It's probably tons of people already watching. So here's what I'm gonna get ahead with. There's. Oh, Geen. Charlie Hunnam's in too good a shape. I don't think Ed Geen had abs. Maybe. I don't know. It's a different time. There's a. A girl that I can't say who and I can't say how I know, but on Instagram has been one of those. One of those people that says, if you don't agree with me, delete yourself from being like, you know, that kind of. One of those people that, like, if you're.

[Brett]

If you're not on problem, unfollow me. One of those kind of people.

[John Holmberg]

Her post was this. And now I'm thinking maybe it's. Maybe she's right. I'm not saying anything he did was right, but I feel sorry for Ed Gein. Like, you don't post that. Keep that in your head. Ed Gein butchered women. Now maybe there's somebody to blame from his past, but for crime sake, Instagram didn't need that thought bubble. I'm not saying anything he did was right, but, you know, kind of feel bad for Ed Gein. This is what women do. Scott Peterson went to jail. There's a line around the block of women who wanted to marry him. The Menendez brothers. One of them's been married twice since he's been in jail. He actually got sick of abroad and divorced her. And he'd never been in a room with her outside of visitation.

[Brett]

Trying too hard to go viral.

[John Holmberg]

This chick watched the Ed Gein thing on Netflix and saw it to herself. He's misunderstood. I could fix this. He used to he is the inspiration for Psycho and Silence of the Lambs. Nothing they did in Psycho or Silence of the Lambs was a unique thought or redeeming. It was. Well, no, it was an Ed Gein copy. Like, oh, he did it. This will make sense to people. You can't feel sorry for Ed Gein. Sorry.

[Larry]

My buddy just texted. He said it's an effed up show. Disturbing as F. Ed Gein is an F. But, I mean, you know, sometimes they sugarcoat stuff, and he's not this one.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think you. Even if you sugarcoat it, it's like, whoa, the dude was. And his mother was horrible to him. But my goodness, isn't that who Anthony.

[Larry]

Perkins was supposed to be? Yeah, Psycho was.

[John Holmberg]

Psycho was him. There's almost every serial killer fake movie Ed Gein has a piece of because all of Silence of the Lamb, like, he's making the skin suit and collecting, you know, bowls out of skulls and, like, making things. He was Ed Gein was. And he was kind of a little bit off, a little R word. I. They would put him. Probably not down syndrome bad, obviously, but he's, like, spectrumy. Something really wrong with him. I can't wait to watch this. Because Ed Gein's story is he was just a local rube, kind of a dummy. Right. You know? Oh, can't wait to watch on Apple tv.

[Brett]

Plus, stop me if you've heard this theme before is the new TV series the Last Frontier alone. U.S. marshal leads the hunt for escaped convicts in the Alaskan wilderness.

[John Holmberg]

I'll tell you right now, the picture, that plane's too low countries. Oh, they crashed a plane.

[Brett]

Prison plane.

[John Holmberg]

So, oh, it's a prison plane that crashes, and then the convicts get out. Know what happened up there? Cussing?

[Brett]

I don't think so. In this.

[John Holmberg]

So it's like a alive, but instead of a soccer team, it's just convict or conair. It's conair and alive combined.

[Brett]

Johnny Knoxville.

[John Holmberg]

Knoxville's in this. They called him Havelock. It's like he knew. Is this a show or a movie show?

[Brett]

I think it's maybe 10 episodes.

[John Holmberg]

So it's the worst of the worst in a. You know, where they taken, like, they.

[Brett]

Would crash in the Alaskan wilderness.

[John Holmberg]

You would never risk, like, the biggest baddies in the world in the same spot.

[Brett]

So it follows Frank Remnick, lone U.S. marshal in charge of the quiet, rugged barrens of Alaska. Remnick's jurisdiction is turned upside down when a prison transport plane crashes in the remote wilderness, setting free dozens of violent inmates tasked with protecting the towns he's vowed to keep safe. He begins to suspect the crash wasn't an accident. The first step of a well crafted plan by far reaching and devastating with far reaching and devastating devastating implications.

[John Holmberg]

Better movie would be taking all the bad guys and saying we're transferring you and crashing that plane. Just getting rid of them. Yeah.

[Brett]

The chair company is on. HBO is the new movie starring Tim Robinson. The guy's been in everything.

[John Holmberg]

He's a goof. Very odd sense of humor on Tim Robinson. It's a big problem. Ron, we are so proud of you. Please put your hands together for your project head. Ron Trosper. Badass dot com. We all know it hasn't been easy for you.

[Brett]

There is a massive problem that could.

[John Holmberg]

Cause mass casualties no matter what. Has. Is he doing a serious role here?

[Larry]

We're going to see and it sounds serious.

[John Holmberg]

Don't wait for me at the bathroom. I vouched for you to the board against.

[Brett]

It's all kind of a dark comedy.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it looks like.

[Brett]

So he works for a chair company and somebody has a. Has a complaint about one of the chairs or something like that. So he's tasked with kind of figuring it out.

[John Holmberg]

Is Balin back?

[Brett]

Bailing Out Loud. Season two starts this week.

[John Holmberg]

Did they beep everything? Because I can't look at the chickens chase after the weaning. So she moved in. She moved in with her boyfriend. I have Tourette syndrome. Stupid. Tourette syndrome is a neurological involuntary motor and vocal disorder. You're bald. Chuck. Thank you. Just in case you weren't aware already. She's very fun. Bailing Out Loud is a fun show and it's got a ton of heart.

[Brett]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

Like you fall in love with Balin midway through.

[Brett]

It grates on you a little at the start but once you get into it, it's all right.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Her and her dopey boyfriend. It's actually the family's super nice. Like it's a. That's a fun show.

[Brett]

The woman in cabin 10. Remember Keira Knightley?

[John Holmberg]

She's back.

[Brett]

She stars as a woman who is on a cruise ship luxury yacht. Laura Blue black clock for a travel assignment. A passenger being thrown overboard late at night only to be told that it didn't happen.

[John Holmberg]

Journalist. He's doing a piece for us on the foundation. Oh, this a guy. Unusual approach to charity. Three days and a luxury yacht. Laura here is going to be spying on us. The world awaits with bated breath. Was that the girl from Hannah Waddington from the The Hitler show downstairs. That's right.

[Brett]

All right, so that's out on Netflix this week. The woman in cabin 10. Saquon, on prime Video.

[John Holmberg]

He gets a thing. Yeah, I think you should be on the. They just followed Saquon around. That's a show now he's a freak. All right. I don't want to get. Get it rubbed in my face. Philadelphia, you got your championship. Leave me alone. I hope the Dodgers kick your ass.

[Brett]

This one I'm interested in. John Candy. I like me. I want to see this on Prime Video.

[John Holmberg]

Didn't Ryan Reynolds. Yeah, this is his thing was wrong.

[Brett]

But he was my friend.

[John Holmberg]

I don't want to cry, but when I see him.

[Brett]

When you see his face, I mean.

[John Holmberg]

Who are you? I'm a mog. Half man, half dog. Gus Polinsky, polka King of the Midwest. El Griffa, director of Sales, Shower Curtain. He was just like the friendliest dude ever. Wouldn't it be great if this whole thing was an expose about what a twisted, dark, like, horrible sex fiend John Candy was? He was just so lovable. Planes, Trains and Automobiles. One of the greatest movies ever made.

[Brett]

So good. We'll skip this one. All right, that's all I got.

[John Holmberg]

Why are you skipping that?

[Brett]

Well, it came out in March in theaters, and so it's just out on. It's streaming right now on Prime. It's called the Ballad of Wallace Island.

[John Holmberg]

Who's in it? You haven't skipped it at all.

[Brett]

What was her name? Perry Mulligan.

[John Holmberg]

I'm out. Why didn't you skip that?

[Brett]

That's what I was trying to do.

[John Holmberg]

Should have skipped that one. That's dumb. Morning sickness. Medicate K U. PD Holmberg's morning sickness. All right, Brett, what do you got?

[Larry]

All right, let's start off with new music from Megadeth. This is it. This is the final Megadeth. So?

[John Holmberg]

Are you sure?

[Larry]

That's what he says. This is Tipping Point.

[John Holmberg]

It's the best we've ever been.

[Brett]

Yeah, the one they wanted us to play this morning.

[John Holmberg]

Check it out. Were we supposed to play it? Why didn't you play my new tune? Where's Dave? Right here, dummy. Yeah, I still shred, but I don't shave. There he goes. Is that a snorkel? Dave, I have to breathe so I wear a snorkel. Yeah, I look like Be It Clown. He's big on shred. Got to give it to a 60 plus year old guy for this one. But tonight you will die. Yeah. Okay. In the blackest night, you buried the Truth. Under layers of light. Here comes the big head. No return. Now you cross the line. Push me. I push you back. Dip it, boy. When I dip, you dip. We dip. You're never going to be able to hear that. Listen to me. I'll push you back. When I dip, you dip. We dip. Yeah. He's not playing guitar. Is his hand still screwed up?

[Larry]

No, he's playing. He doesn't play lead. He's a rhythm guy.

[John Holmberg]

Ah. All right. It's not what he did when he took me to lunch. Come with me. I'm going to show you I can still shred. He has a. A Tik Tok page now. Megadeth.

[Larry]

And it's just kind of funny seeing.

[John Holmberg]

Him on Tik Tok, you know, and.

[Larry]

He'S, you know, kind of an older man now, and.

[John Holmberg]

Is he holding the red balloon? Why don't you visit me down here? Text. Welcome to D. Welcome to D. Yeah. Couple of text and then his eyes go. No makeup. Jesus Christ. What's in the storm drain? It's me. Me, Dave. Mysterious and Gladys from Weapons. Yeah. If anybody's seen that. I love. Yeah, no, it's. I didn't like that movie. Did you like that?

[Larry]

Oh, I loved it.

[John Holmberg]

Really loved it. Didn't make any sense.

[Larry]

Weapons.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Larry]

Are you kidding me?

[John Holmberg]

I loved it. What were the deals with the guns over people.

[Larry]

Heads over people's heads.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. One time the house had a big machine gun floating above it because that never brought it up again. They never brought it up again. It's. It's basically different for each person. And that guy that was having a dream, it was very much into weapons. Yeah.

[Larry]

But children as a weapon.

[John Holmberg]

When the old lady died, another one floating over her. They never talked about it. Well, there's some kind of a thing about. Essentially the children are bullets being shot. Shot out. Right. He's using them as weapons, which I got. But at the same time.

[Larry]

So that's why there's a couple of little.

[John Holmberg]

It took too long to get to that thing. I loved it. That Aunt Gladys character, I gave it 1 out of 5. Scary on the air.

[Larry]

Oh, come on.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't like it at all. I thought. I thought. I like the first 30 minutes. Totally disagree with you. Well, we're in a fight. Great. Great. Now I got this to deal with. Who's this?

[Larry]

That's new music from Testament. This is Shadow.

[John Holmberg]

That's pretty good. Actually, I like it better than the new wagon. I do, too. This one doesn't seem to be trying so far. I like That I don't know. I've ever been a Testament guy. This will get you riding the bike faster. Holy cow. I like that one.

[Larry]

All right, how about new music from Biohazard? This is Eyes On Six.

[John Holmberg]

Everybody always says my Dave Mustaine is now the same guy from Love on the Spectrum, which is very true. He would get very upset about things. Yes. And talk to people very. It's. Oh, this isn't good. It's very similar. Almost all of them are twofers. By the way, if you do an impression, you've got two. If you've got one, just have to find it. Mr. Clean looks great. This band sucks.

[Larry]

All right, how about All Time Low? This is the weather.

[John Holmberg]

Is this a real thing?

[Brett]

Why do I know them?

[John Holmberg]

Is it an alternative thing?

[Larry]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

It's a beautiful girl in the Vineyard. This is where they work now. We're going to an ice cream shop or a oil change. I can't tell. Diner.

[Brett]

I'll stop the world and melt with.

[John Holmberg]

You it is very modern English When I see you. All right. The only thing about this that's good is the girl in the video is gorgeous.

[Larry]

You want fried pickles with that? All right, let's. Let's do some AI because everybody's sending them to me. Here's Soul Biscuit with Nookie.

[John Holmberg]

It's four fake black guys and a white lead singer. A fake white lead singer. Nookie. Oh, it's the. They covered the Biscuit. I came into this world as a reject. Looking through these eyes, I like all of it better. Everyone that burns has to learn from the pain. Larry, do we still have HD2? We don't do that anymore. But we don't have. We have a second channel. Oh, my God. Radio executives wasted millions of dollars on that.

[Larry]

We don't.

[John Holmberg]

I mean all the other stations. How come we don't? I thought all of them had it.

[Larry]

We never had anything.

[John Holmberg]

I thought we did. We had a KUPD2. We just never did anything on it or something. That's on one of the others.

[Larry]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Huh? Either way, we should do all the songs we play. AI Soul. That's fantastic. So you can take that cookie and stick it up your hair. Come on. That's phenomenal. Again.

[Larry]

All right, let's go to Soul Zombie.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, nice. Dragula. Right? Telling. There's a whole station waiting for this. This is Dragula AI Reid as a soul. So I want to replace my entire catalog of music with this.

[Larry]

Did I am the one exterminating sun.

[John Holmberg]

Sipping through the tree Strangle in The breeze. How cool is that? Awesome. Very Tarantino. Yeah. Also zeal in our door. Oh, my God, it's amazing. That's the best song I've ever heard. That's awesome. All right, Larry, you get to play. Do you have headphones?

[Larry]

Oh, we got one more, though.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, okay. I'm sorry. Another.

[Larry]

We got our. Our goofy one. I'll let you announce it.

[John Holmberg]

All right. It's. The song is called with you I gave up my Ass by the lovely lady and one of my favorite first names ever, a Anita, last name Cox. All right, here we go.

[Larry]

I love the Crackle.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, it's. The crackle is always. It's old. That's old music from that never existed. Right. On a record. Every summer, same old scene on the beach with robber hiding behind that damn bush waiting for someone new. But I end up tasting his cucumber. What the hell? Once again. So hold on. She's hiding in a cucumber bush and.

[Larry]

Yeah, but she tasted his cucumber.

[John Holmberg]

She's blowing guys in the park. The same routine on the beach with Robert. I get bored and he takes me from behind. Right after I pleased him with my mouth. That shameless man. With you, I gave up my ass. Robert, you thrust your too deep until. That should be somebody's prom theme this year.

[Larry]

What a voice.

[John Holmberg]

That's fantastic. Excellent work. All right.

[Larry]

And that brings us to N word or F word, the game that is sweeping the nation. And today, this is actually new music from Mob Deep. And this is against the world.

[John Holmberg]

All right, Larry, you're taking Brady's place. Mob Deep. I won last time, so I get to pick first. Mob Deep. Alice say is going to go with angry N word.

[Brett]

Okay, I'm taking mfer.

[John Holmberg]

You're going mother effer. Actually, I was going to go the same. You can't. Oh, I can't Taken. You have to take either friendly nword or just F word. F Word. F word. Yep. All right, here we go. Good luck. It's just one crumb on the map. One crumb in the lot. You happy with that piece? I'm going to need that pie to satisfy my thirst. Pest fought my greed for blood, money and power. The fans turned me to a monster addicted to when they scream. You had one hitting your life. One second of fame. One of you act up. There you go. That was mine, right? Yeah, but it was. That's not friendly. He's talking about shooting people.

[Brett]

Yeah, yeah.

[Larry]

He was smooth about himself.

[John Holmberg]

That is true, but it was one of you. Okay, we need to Add that category. Smooth. N word.

[Brett]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Like smooth operator. That's right. So Sarde's original song was Smooth N word. But she's either producer's like. Can we just change one word? Sade? Sure. What is it? N word. To what? Operator. I'll try it.

[Larry]

That doesn't make sense, but okay.

[John Holmberg]

He's a smooth. No, no, let's try Operator. Try Operator. I bet it's better. He's a smooth operator. You're right. Coast to coast. LA to Chicago. No. Gonna ask that to stop again. Is he pregnant? I think so.

[Larry]

So anyway, he's due any day now.

[John Holmberg]

There you go. That is your hot releases, everybody. Brought to you by our [e-mail]. save thousands, save time. Buy online new ac.unit.com. hey, it's not weird. It's pretty actually.

[Brett]

No membership fees.

[John Holmberg]

I have heard enough of this morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. Wonder. This is dumb. How'd the B get all mixed up and like dumb and numb and yet there's one out there that doesn't have a B on the end of it? Why? I don't know. Like when I google search what I want Madison Ivy to do, I don't put a B on it. Why? Oh, where'd the B come from? Should ask this question to teacher. Back in second grade when they were teaching me four letter words. But I wouldn't have had that insight if going. Yeah, but Mrs. Stewart, nobody says with a beat.

[Katie Hobbs]

You make a good point, son.

[John Holmberg]

Anyway, food for thought, old lady. Continue teaching. It's time now for Brett to entertain us all. Since Brady's not with us today. It is called the entertainment drill and it's brought to bear [e-mail] the home of tactical black self defense training. Beautiful day. A lot of people going out hiking. A lot of of a lot of folks just out and about. And I've noticed one thing about you walkers and exercisers who only do it fair weather. You don't pay any goddamn attention to where you are at any time at all. Bikes can run you over because you've got your earbuds in. One has to come out. Get the meta glasses that just have speakers. Stop making yourself oblivious to your surroundings. Especially right now when bad guys recognize there are a bunch of people doing something they haven't done in months. Technically, you are sitting duck when you do that to yourself. Be smarter. Have spatial awareness, have situational awareness. Understand where you're going and what you're doing. Brett just flipped somebody off out the window. It's hilarious. And you can't defend that at all. That just happened. That's just the thing and that's the deal. You got that going. You never know when Mark Sanchez is parked by either and that could go sideways too. And that old man did what he needed to do. He defended himself and in a proper situation. And I still don't know how Mark Sanchez punched a guy in. In the cheek and went all the way through and cut his tongue without a knife. But we'll get more on that. You just never know when something's going to go haywire. Right down to the fact that a celebrity lost his mind and started beating people up. So even in safe situations, something can go wrong. Just be prepared and be in good shape for it. They'll help you out. React defense.com is the place to go. You're going to get two months training for. It's the price is amazing. The ability to get there as often as you want on your schedule with a bunch of like minded people is the key. It's a great spot to be. Everybody is there to help. Make more sheepdogs. If we have more of them, we won't have to worry about being sheep and we won't have to worry about bad guys as much. Make more sheepdogs. That's the goal. Reactdefense.com it's the home of tactical Black Bull rat.

[Larry]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Entertainment.

[Larry]

All right. Speaking of Mark Sanchez, I mean we all know what happened, but it looks like he's now facing a charge of felony battery involving serious but bodily injury. Apparently the altercation was just over a parking space. They say.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Because the dude was.

[Larry]

Which is how good. Which is how Bronx Tale started.

[John Holmberg]

It is how a Bronx Tale started.

[Larry]

I mean. No, I'm just saying.

[John Holmberg]

And that's how Colosimo watched.

[Larry]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

The guy shoot. It was Joe Pesci. Yep.

[Larry]

At the end.

[John Holmberg]

In the end he told me he.

[Katie Hobbs]

Always took care of me. It was one of those things.

[John Holmberg]

He took care of me. What was the big. What was his name? Kaloshmo.

[Larry]

And then Sonny.

[John Holmberg]

Sonny.

[Larry]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

If you haven't seen a Bronx Tale, he told me, by all means means watch it. But you're right. That started over a parking dispute and people died. My friend Mark and I were driving over to Grand Canyon University and naturally, because we were going into the avenues, we the, the, the the thought of murder and mentality of, you know, life and death kind of struck us. I guess mortality talk was what we were having because we were in the avenues and very real possibility. But he even said. He goes, I what are. Because he asked me, he said, did you see the couple that shot each other up on, like, 7th Street a few nights ago? Was on our Citizen app. And he said over it was Road Rage. And I'm like, I have it. Like, what do we think in our heads? Because we're in 2 tons of moving metal. And I think our brain knows that we're in a very powerful box that could be used as a weapon. So we feel impervious, and we know we can't be heard and you're on the west side and that you lose your mind. Lines in cars. It's so easy to do. And they can't really figure out why. I know it. So be careful with that stuff.

[Larry]

Tour looking forward to. The Offspring are gonna be heading out next year with Bad Religion. I like both bands. I love Bad Religion.

[John Holmberg]

I was drunk at our beer festival when we had Spring. Yeah, it was fun.

[Larry]

They're just fun.

[John Holmberg]

It's a fun. Yeah, they just. To me, it sounds too much like Weird Al to take stuff seriously, but I do like them.

[Larry]

Here's some actors, 10 actors that were totally hated by the entire cast. Number one, Jim Carrey, man on the Moon.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Larry]

He stayed in character as Kaufman the entire time, alienating everybody on the set.

[John Holmberg]

They made a documentary about it, which made me feel like it was all for the documentary.

[Larry]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

It was all fake. Bill Murray's another one that everybody hated.

[Larry]

As a matter of fact, he made.

[John Holmberg]

The list for Charlie's Inc. Angels. Yep. Yeah.

[Larry]

Number 10.

[John Holmberg]

That's why he wasn't back for Charlie's Angels, too. And he came back black.

[Larry]

He was replaced. Bernie Mac. Yeah. Other ones, like Lindsay Lohan. Let's see here. Mike Myers.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he's Cat in the Hat.

[Larry]

Wesley Snipes in Blade Trinity.

[John Holmberg]

Really?

[Larry]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Well, he had a lot on his mind with the taxes.

[Larry]

Richard Pryor, actually, in blue collar.

[John Holmberg]

Really?

[Larry]

1978. Christian Bale in American Psycho. He was just as intense on camera as when he was off camera.

[John Holmberg]

Stayed in character.

[Larry]

How he is, though, for the murders.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he strikes me as the type of guy you wouldn't want to hang out.

[Larry]

Yeah. Shia LaBeouf. He just seems like a C. Anyway, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Which movie was that?

[Larry]

Fury 2014. Oh, was that with the World War II movie?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

[Larry]

Jared Leto in Suicide Squad.

[John Holmberg]

He was the Joker, and he was the worst joker that's ever been.

[Larry]

He said he really wanted the rest of the cast to be freaked out by his portrayal of the Joker.

[John Holmberg]

It was terrible. And here's what freaks out about that movie. And I've said it a million times. Margot Robbie dressed up as Harley Quinn.

[Larry]

Could not say.

[John Holmberg]

And you get bored with it. He.

[Larry]

He sent people because of. He was doing the Joker. He sent people gifts on studio, on set, like used condoms, bullets, and dead animals.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, that's just a dick.

[Larry]

And then everybody's heard this one. Burt Reynolds on Boogie Nights. He apparently, he just needed the money, thought the role would be good, and then hated what it was about once it was.

[John Holmberg]

He got nominated for that, if I remember right.

[Larry]

And he tried to distance himself from that whole thing. Do celebrity birthdays.

[John Holmberg]

Sure, whatever. It's your thing.

[Larry]

Mookie Betts turned 33 today.

[John Holmberg]

He's gonna win a. Win a World Series.

[Larry]

Brie Olsen. Remember porn star.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Larry]

Charlie's one of his Charlie Sheen goddesses.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Larry]

Yeah. She turns 39 one year from expired. I think if you're a porn star, I think you get expired early.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. Well, it's like. It's like AC units in Arizona. They work a lot harder than your average one somewhere else.

[Larry]

Here's one that shocked me.

[John Holmberg]

Taylor Hicks, the guy from American Idol.

[Larry]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

He was the dude who's a big. Yeah, the gray hair. Yeah.

[Larry]

Got an age.

[John Holmberg]

He's got to be 50.

[Larry]

Oh, good guess. 49. I figured he was 59.

[John Holmberg]

He thought he was older. Well, he's on American Idol, and they had, like, an age limit back then. He just was premature. Really gray. And that had to be 23 years ago.

[Larry]

Well, Steve. Steve Martin was, too, but he just.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Larry]

I don't know. Taylor just. I don't know. Maybe because you just think of Jay Leno.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Larry]

Tom York from Radiohead. 57.

[John Holmberg]

What's he looking at?

[Larry]

I don't even know what he looks like.

[John Holmberg]

I'm just saying. His eyes. Oh, yeah.

[Larry]

Never looking at Tony Braxton. 58. See if John Gordon knows this one. Tico Torres.

[John Holmberg]

Tico from 67. Journey. 72. Who's Tico Torres with Bon Jovi. Bon Jovi, that's right. 72. What, he was older than the other guys because how do I sound before Bon Jovi? Trips. Trips. Do I sound older?

[Larry]

Vladimir Putin. 73 today. John Cougar Melon Camp.

[John Holmberg]

Tico and Vladimir are the same age. This is brought to you by Tactical Butterscotch. It's in my pocket right now.

[Larry]

Oliver north, age 82. Joy Behar, 83.

[John Holmberg]

She's that old? Yeah, she looks pretty good for 83.

[Larry]

That's about it.

[John Holmberg]

We're good. Hi, baby. Happy birthday, John. Thanks, Whoopi. I just couldn't. I can't. Right, right, right, right. Yuck. Anyway, world, and happy birthday, Joy Behar. That's enough for us. We're done. You guys have yourselves a fantastic Tuesday. Larry is going to join you today. And then he's off and running, isn't he, John? He's leaving. So McFeely is going to be here and then he's doing an excellent adventure and his brand new truck that's going to run around in. So stay tuned and find out how Larry can give you money for him. Just leaving the building for a few days. That's pretty awesome. McFeely's out. You guys are up. The Jew Up Show Day 2 comes to an end. Not bad, not bad. Tomorrow, one more day of the Jew wop. And if Katie Hobbs gets her way, it's forever.

[Larry]

Yeah, no kidding.

[John Holmberg]

But that's it. Be nice to Larry. He'll be nice to you. We'll see you guys tomorrow right here in the morning sickness. It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee. I have heard enough of this.