Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness – October 8, 2025
Main Theme:
This episode features John Holmberg, Brett Vesely, Richard Toledo, and guests in their signature rapid-fire, irreverent style, riffing on current events, oddball stories, and the everyday absurdities of American life. Core topics include national averages for height and weight, Jerry Jones flipping off Jets fans, a deep-dive into fast food branding decisions, and various viral stats and stories. Brady Bogen is absent, so Brett takes over the “Brady Report,” leading the news-of-the-weird segment.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Teddy Bear Day and Childhood Attachments
- [03:36] Brett highlights it's National Bring Your Teddy Bear to School Day, prompting a segment on childhood security items and abandonment issues.
- John pokes fun at Toledo’s lack of attachment objects, joking, “Because you had abandonment issues.”
- Lighthearted jabs at Brady’s “Puffy the Piss Pillow” and Toledo’s now-abandoned childhood teddy bear.
2. Average Height and Weight in America
- [06:26] Brett provides fun facts:
- Average male weight: 199.8 lbs
- Average female weight: 170.8 lbs
- Average male height: 5’9”
- John reacts:
- “That’s huge. We’re huge.” [06:48]
- Focus on health, body composition, and how social expectations around weight have shifted.
- John describes his own body scan, noting:
- “I just had one of those body analysis scans, and I'm at 21% body fat.” [07:10]
- Tommy Davidson anecdote:
- “America’s so used to people being fat that I am now looked at as thin. And all I am is in shape.” [14:03]
- Panel jokes about how almost all are above “healthy” BMI, with self-deprecation and humor about weight loss struggles.
3. Game Show Records and Gasoline Oddities
- [08:44] Trivia time: The most someone could theoretically win in an episode of Jeopardy is $566,400; actual record is $131,120.
- [09:32] One gallon of gas has enough energy to charge an iPhone daily for over 10 years, which is met with sarcasm from John:
- “Yeah, there are gas powered iPhones.” [09:41]
4. Hollywood Casting Quirks & Harry Potter Clichés
- [10:24] The role of Tina Carlyle in “The Mask” almost went to Anna Nicole Smith over Cameron Diaz.
- [10:37] Fun fact:
- Most common sentence in Harry Potter books is “nothing happened,” sparking an “Italian Harry Potter” bit.
5. Extended Weight Conversation—Societal Norms & Stereotypes
- [10:57–12:28] Panel discusses the perception of weight healthiness, recalling how “average” has shifted.
- John quips at inflated averages:
- “Women being 170. And the average height of a woman is 5, 4.” [08:06]
- Comparing themselves against statistical norms, riffing on personal BMI and insurance targets.
- John quips at inflated averages:
- [14:50] Toledo asks if these stats will wake women up:
- John: “Well, their heels are digging in on their own. They're fat. Their heels are going right into the earth.” [14:57]
6. Plane Safety and Dim Lights
- [15:14] Brett explains why planes dim their lights before takeoff/landing:
- “It's so your eyes can adjust to low lighting in case of an emergency and you need to evacuate.” [15:18]
7. Jerry Jones Flips off Jets Fans
- [15:44] The crew discusses Jerry Jones being fined $250,000 for flipping off Jets fans:
- John, impersonating Jones:
- "My brain didn't react proper. So accidentally put my herpes finger in the air to Jets fans while I tried to give a thumbs up." [16:04]
- Consensus: Spectacle is part of the game, and New Yorkers are no strangers to rudeness.
- John, impersonating Jones:
8. Workplace Time Wasting
- [17:59] Survey: 51% of worker time is busywork (email, data entry).
- John jokes: “Or in Heather's case, yesterday, just yelling at me. That was busy work.” [18:10]
9. Pet Obesity Awareness Day
- [18:22] Up to 60% of U.S. cats and dogs are overweight.
- 35% of owners would consider Ozempic for their pets.
- John notes, *“Fat people’s dogs are fat because they never want to exercise.”
- Comparing their own pets’ fitness.
10. America’s Best & Worst Cities to Drive In
- [19:40] Discussion of a study on driving:
- Worst include Seattle, several California cities, Houston, Baltimore, DC, Chicago, Detroit.
- Best: Corpus Christi, Greensboro (NC), Boise, Scottsdale.
- John mocks his experiences in Scottsdale and local freeways, questioning the methodology.
11. Lottery Winner in Missouri (Misery)
- [22:00] Sick Missouri woman leaves home, buys gas and a lottery ticket, and wins $100,000.
- John riffs: “Now she's the richest person in misery. A state so awful its citizens mispronounce it ‘misery.’”
12. Long John Silver’s Logo – From Fish to Chicken
- [22:55] LJS swapping their fish logo for chicken, sparking fast food nostalgia and skepticism:
- John:
- “It is the last place I'm going to a pirate named restaurant to have chicken.” [24:28]
- Panel recalls the dismal experience:
- “The dude behind the counter goes, ‘Ah.’ He was mad that he had to make food for us.” [23:44]
- John:
- Various locations in Arizona are discussed, mostly being fast-food hybrids and hard to find.
13. Bizarre News: Halloween “Effigy” Decorations
- [28:23] Kentucky man charged for Halloween decorations depicting local officials hanged in effigy. Panel agrees that's beyond the pale.
14. Safest & Most Dangerous States
- [29:10] Top safe: Vermont, Massachusetts, New Hampshire
- Southern states lead in most dangerous stats.
15. Heckling Players at Sporting Events is Declining
- [30:25] Only 14% admit to heckling players; panel argues underreporting and changing fan culture.
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
On U.S. Weight Averages:
- John [06:50]: “That’s average. That’s huge. We’re huge.”
- John recounts Tommy Davidson, [14:03]: “America’s so used to people being fat that I am now looked at as thin. And all I am is in shape.”
On Jerry Jones' Gesture:
- John, as Jerry Jones [16:04]: "So accidentally put my herpes finger in the air to Jets fans while I tried to give a thumbs up to ... Ah, that's not true. The Jets. I hate them and they hate me."
- John [17:14]: “You in particular, go f*** yourself cowboy style. How about them Cowboys?”
On Fast Food Chicken:
- John [24:28]: “It is the last place I'm going to a pirate named restaurant to have chicken.”
On Pet Obesity & Owners:
- John [18:44]: "Fat person doesn’t want to exercise, so inevitably their dogs don’t. So they get fat. They always say that your dogs start to look like you, you get a fat. You got a fat person, you get a fat dog.”
On Missouri/Misery:
- John [22:15]: "So now she's the richest person in misery. Oh, man. A state so awful that even its own citizens mispronounce it misery after Missouri."
Timestamps for Key Segments
| Timestamp | Segment | |-------------|--------------------------------------------------------| | 03:36 | Teddy Bear Day & Childhood Attachments | | 06:26 | Average US Height & Weight Numbers | | 08:44 | Jeopardy Winnings & Gasoline Trivia | | 10:24 | The Mask Casting & Harry Potter Book Fact | | 14:03 | Tommy Davidson on America's Obesity | | 15:14 | Airplane Lighting Safety Fact | | 15:44 | Jerry Jones Flips Off Jets Fans | | 17:59 | Workplace Time Spent on Busywork | | 18:22 | Pet Obesity in America | | 19:40 | Best & Worst Cities to Drive In | | 22:00 | Missouri Woman Wins Lottery | | 22:55 | Long John Silver's Logo Change Discussion | | 28:23 | Halloween Decorations Incident (Effigy) | | 29:10 | Safest & Most Dangerous States | | 30:25 | Decline of Heckling at Sporting Events | | 34:16–37:24 | Videos: Home repair fail, face injury, wheelchair ramp |
Tone & Style
The episode is classic “Holmberg’s Morning Sickness”:
- Fast, irreverent, full of playful insults and dark humor
- Jokes are quick and self-deprecating, often touching on taboos (obesity, fast food, regional stereotypes)
- News-of-the-weird meets drive-time banter, with deep Arizona flavor
For First-Time Listeners
This episode offers a blend of offbeat news, pop culture snark, and local Arizona in-jokes. The hosts’ chemistry delivers plenty of quotable lines and absurd insights. Regular segments like the “Brady Report” (here led by Brett), recurring debates about food, health, and sports, and left-field tangents are all hallmarks. If you like your morning radio a bit wild and unfiltered, this is peak Holmberg.