10-08-25 - Dolly Parton's Family Calls For Prayers And We Call To Preserve Her Legacy As Now We're Worried She's Dying - John Got A Call From William Shatner - Amazon Removing All Guns From James Bond Movie Posters Sparking A Rant

Summary

Podcast Summary: Holmberg’s Morning Sickness — October 8, 2025

Episode: “Dolly Parton's Family Calls For Prayers, William Shatner Calls, and Amazon Removes Guns from James Bond Posters”

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Main Theme & Purpose

In this episode, John Holmberg and the HMS crew (Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo) blend humor, cultural commentary, and irreverent takes on trending stories. The main topics:

• Dolly Parton’s health scare and legacy (particularly her impact on American pop culture)
• John’s phone call with William Shatner
• Amazon’s controversial decision to remove guns from James Bond movie posters, sparking a passionate rant about “editing history” and modern cultural optics

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Dolly Parton’s Health Scare & Cultural Legacy

(Starts ~02:12)

• Dolly Parton’s family has called for prayers for her health, raising concern among the hosts about her wellbeing (even though it was reportedly just kidney stones).
  • John explains that when “hillfolk” (Appalachian/mountain folk) ask for prayers, “something’s bad… regular folks say it flippantly, hillfolk mean it.” ([02:12])
• Speculation and jokes about Dolly Parton’s iconic traits—especially her famous breast implants—prompt a discussion about a fitting tribute:
  • John: “Do you think now… it’d be appropriate… when Dolly goes, to take her implants out and put them in her display at the Hall of Fame?” ([03:19])
  • Hosts argue Dolly’s “clown cans” (humor for large implants) are as much a part of American culture as her music.
  • Suggests they belong in the Smithsonian alongside other pop culture artifacts: “Mr. Rogers’ sweater is in the Smithsonian… those cans need to be there for all of America to remember and enjoy.” ([09:36])
  • John credits Dolly as a “trailblazer” for what would become an entire era of plastic surgery and body mod trends—a forerunner to the Kardashian “big ass” phenomenon.
  • “Dolly Parton was the original [Kardashian]. She went extreme trailblazer… with plastic surgery before anyone else.” ([07:07])

Notable Quotes on Dolly Parton:

• John: “I don't know that, prior to Dolly Parton, clown boobs were a thing unless they were natural. She’s the first Kardashian…” ([06:56])
• John: “You gotta remember, Dolly’s old. And when hill people start talking about wizard help, things are bad.” ([05:02])
• Brady: “She never strapped ‘em down, never put ‘em in that sports pocket—smashed ‘em in.” ([04:47])
• Brady: “All men should rejoice. I mean, we really do [owe thanks to Dolly].” ([07:52])

Family Statement & Listener Responses

• Listeners and Dolly’s sister Frida clarify on social media: She’s not dying, just has kidney stones.
  • John is skeptical, arguing if “prayer requests” go public via TMZ, it sounds worse than kidney stones. ([07:56], [12:35])
  • “…I know what hill folk do. Wizard requests mean [something’s] closer than we wanted it to be.” ([13:45])

2. John’s Surprise Call from William Shatner

(Starts ~15:04)

• John received a direct call from William Shatner, arranging for John to again moderate a Q&A at a “Wrath of Khan” screening, as he did years earlier.
  • Shatner, now 94, didn’t remember the previous event at first but later “remembered”: “You were great. I wanted you back.” ([15:52])
• The crew riffs on the awkwardness of cold calling celebrities live on air, referencing John’s infamous previous call to Burt Reynolds, who was furious and threatened legal action. ([16:25])
• Discussion of aging pop culture figures: “I’m friends with really old celebrities now.” ([16:28])
• Shatner stories: His perspective has changed, especially since he has been to space and almost died twice.
  • “He just has a moderator there. My job is to kind of ask questions… and prompt his next story.” ([19:10])
• Lighthearted banter about who’s still alive from Star Trek and Wrath of Khan casts.
  • “Everybody's dead from the Star Trek movies except still alive, George Takei… that's what a healthy sex life will get you, Brett.” ([20:48])

Notable Quotes on Shatner:

• John: “Technically, I have William Shatner’s phone number. I don’t want to abuse that.” ([16:10])
• John: “Burt Reynolds wanted to kill me… I thought for sure lawyers and everything else were going to show up.” ([16:43])

3. Amazon Removes Guns from James Bond Posters — Rant

(Starts ~21:12)

• News: Amazon has edited digital versions of classic James Bond movie posters, removing the iconic images of guns.
  • “If you don't know— all the old James Bond movies? Classic. The gun is part of the pose… They’ve taken the gun out of all of the posters...” ([21:15])
• The crew rants at length about the futility and hypocrisy of such “surface level, optics-driven” changes.
  • John questions if there is any real evidence that removing images of guns from movie art reduces violence in society.
    • “Is there any research to prove this…? Because if it was a thing that created violence, wouldn't it have done it then?” ([23:09])
  • Compares to other examples: Spielberg’s edit of E.T. to remove guns for walkie-talkies, and AI in China editing out gay scenes from movies.
• Jokes about slippery slopes: If you remove guns, do you have to remove Bond’s “banging broads” (womanizing)? Will Bond names like “Pussy Galore” or “Plenty O’Toole” also be censored?
  • “Next thing you know, they’re gonna edit The Godfather—show Marco Corleone grabbing a walkie talkie from behind the toilet.” ([32:15])
  • “You can't have Love Gun anymore. It would have to be called Jew Crank.” (parody, [38:07])
• The hosts assert it’s parental responsibility, not Hollywood optics, that shape kids' attitudes.
  • “If your kids are that fragile, it’s your fault. Keep a better eye on them.” ([35:24])
  • “Raise your damn kids!” ([33:13])

Notable Quotes on Bond & Poster Edits:

• John: “It’s like going back and painting art differently…” ([27:49])
• John: “It’s all for a show—so they seem like… ‘we’re doing something for your kids.’” ([30:33])
• Brady: “What are the Ghostbusters gonna kill ghosts with now?” ([35:31])
• John: “Your kids are violent because your kids are violent. That’s all.” ([34:46])
• John: “You bought the franchise from the 70s. It is what it is. … Disarming James Bond… you start thinking… if Bond can't have a gun and he's a hero, then you can start saying, well, anyone with a gun is bad.” ([24:37])

Memorable Moments:

• Extended riff about revising movie posters, including hypothetical “thumbs-up” Rambo posters and Pulp Fiction edits with dildos instead of guns. ([37:01], [41:55]*)
• John improvises a parody of Kiss’s “Love Gun” retitled “Jew Crank” to fit modern sensitivities, with Gene Simmons “appearing” in a mock impression. ([38:07])

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Important Segment Timestamps

• Dolly Parton health, legacy & memorializing her “clown cans”: 02:12 – 14:50
• John’s story: Call from William Shatner and celebrity phone faux pas: 15:04 – 20:48
• News & rant: Amazon removes guns from Bond posters: 21:12 – 37:35
• Bond girls’ names, pop culture editing, and wider Hollywood satire: 27:49 – 37:35
• Parody songs (“Jew Crank”), joking about more edits and Pulp Fiction poster parody: 38:07 – 41:59

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Notable Quotes & Attributions

• “She led with those [boobs]…then she’d blow you away with singing.”
  — John Holmberg (04:10)

• “I think we should start the movement now…that we put those breasts in the…Smithsonian.”
  — John Holmberg (06:16)

• “[Amazon] bought the franchise because it was brilliant for what it was. It wasn’t because you were going to monkey with it.”
  — John Holmberg (24:37)

• “To take the gun out of the poster does absolutely nothing… you had a lunatic on your hands if your kid was gonna shoot somebody because of the poster of a 1977 Bond movie.”
  — John Holmberg (28:32)

• “Your kids are violent because your kids are violent. That’s all.”
  — John Holmberg (34:46)

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Overall Tone & Style

• Highly irreverent, rapid-fire, sarcastic and self-aware humor
• Candid pop culture analysis, equal parts nostalgic and critical
• Frequent humorous exaggerations, playful vulgarity, and self-deprecating asides

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For Listeners New and Old

This episode is a signature blend of the HMS crew’s humor, pop culture skewering, and uniquely Arizonan radio banter—melding concern for icons like Dolly Parton with biting takes on modern “optics” and the sometimes-absurd lengths companies will go to manage public sensitivity. If you want classic, slightly edgy morning radio with a sharp cultural eye, this is a lively (and quotable) example.

Transcript

[A]

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[C]

Sickness, you've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil. Sitting right here. Come on.

[B]

No, no, he's not.

[C]

He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. Great job by Brett and Toledo. After yesterday's mishap of not printing out all the stuff they needed to print. Match scramble just happened as Brett remembered, without Toledo's prompting at all, which was. What did I say yesterday? That is your job to make sure all the things are. Nope. Didn't want to think about it.

[A]

Kept us right on time.

[C]

So, John, my son asked me this morning when you were talking about gay pride, what is a pride flag? And I told him, all you have to do is look at a guy who loves the Pittsburgh Steelers house, and when he has a flag over it, that's it. Now, you son of a bitch. You son of a bitch. Matthew. That's indoctrination. Now, this one says, bad bunny, good bunny, homo, F word, bunny. I don't care. Just don't let the Chiefs back in the Super Bowl. Yeah, I can see that when I. I don't hate the Chiefs, but enough's enough. And we've got some stuff to talk about today. That is Americana. You know, we should all be able to unite over one thing. Every once in a while, we do it, and usually it's a tragedy. And this one is no different. The fabric of America, as we have lived on this planet, we all shared something at this very moment. Every one of us who can hear me, every one of us walking on the planet right now have shared our time with Dolly Parton.

[A]

Does she die?

[C]

She's close so, and here's how I know that one of her family members put out a thing yesterday that says, we need prayers for Dolly. Now, people say that, and it's usually something I let drift off my back, like, all right, that's one of those thoughts and prayers things that absolutely to me is wishes and hopes and dreams and whatever. But when hill folks say it, something terrible is going on. Hill folk go to the we need prayers they need. They do that right after they've rubbed, like, lizard guts and like, whatever their home remedies are, they piss in a bucket and make you keep your feet in it. Home remedies from hill folk then end with, we need prayers for Dolly. I think Dolly's about done when. When the family comes out and says stuff like, you know, can we get some hope? And, like, can you throw some coins in a fountain for Dolly today? That they're out. They're out of ideas. They've taken her to hospitals. They've done their hill folk remedies, which is rubbing poison ivy between your toes and doing crazy stuff like that. And sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. You gotta remember Dolly's old. I asked this Brett, perhaps insensitive to the timing.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Do you think now Dolly Parton's in the Rock and Roll hall of Fame? I think she's down at that grand old Opry hall of Fame, if they got one. I'm sure she's all over the place. She is Americana. Nine to five is a great movie. She's in that. She was great. Best Little Whorehouse in Texas is a terrible movie. We still saw it. She's been iconic for several reasons to stand out. Right. Do you think it would be appropriate?

[A]

Yes.

[C]

When?

[A]

Oh, I'm sorry. Go ahead.

[C]

When Dolly goes to take her implants out and put them in her display at the hall of Fame. Yes, I do, too.

[A]

By my initial response.

[C]

Here's why people be like, oh, that's disgusting. But she did that. She led with those.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Those were her calling card. And then she'd blow you away with singing. And people are like, what if they're not implants? Come on, she's 90. Look at those things. They're up to her clavicle still standing. She knows it is. So I think that would be something that we could finally, like, all unite on, like, yep, Dolly's boobs. And it would be a good laugh. And she seemed like somebody with a great personality that you could sit back and say, you know what? Let's put her boobs. Those giant implants in the hall or her bra, at the very least. So people could finally be like, Jesus. Because that's what she led with. That's what she led with.

[A]

She never strapped him down, never put them in that sports pocket. Smashed him in.

[C]

Absolutely. This guy says, wait, hold up. Dolly Parton's still alive. Why did I think she died seven or eight years ago? Because she's ancient, that's why. And you don't want to see her boobs anymore. When she'd show up, Dolly was all a bit. Was. I say that. But look again. When you hear hill people ask for prayers, things are bad. I mean, regular folks say it just as a flippant comment. Hill people do it because they mean it. And they need wizards and, you know, elixirs and potions that they've made out of their own spit, urine, and possum gut. And they've been rubbing that on Dolly like crazy, and it ain't working. Hopefully she recovers and she comes back, but this is not good. She canceled her residency in Vegas before it even started. And she went right into, like, some sort of downward spiral. You put Dolly's wig and boobs in the hall of fame. And it is. And it is. It's a tribute to her. She made jokes about her boobs all the time because she knew what she was doing with those things. When I saw her on TV last time. She wears weird flesh skin gloves all the way up her arm.

[A]

She's covering up that crepe paper.

[C]

Exactly. She looks like a pot sticker without them. So she's got, like, fake skin gloves on and nails come out of the end of them or they're on them. I don't know how it works, but it kind of looks real until you see the hands and you're like, oh, she looks like a burn victim. And she's got this weird. So she. But. But to her credit, she's like, it's all about appearance. It's all about presentation.

[A]

She knows it.

[C]

Yeah, she knows it. So insensitive or not, I think we should start the movement now before Dolly actually goes, that we put those breasts in the, you know, Smithsonian or something. Because that is. She is part of America. And her music was great. Jolene's, you know, all the nine to five stuff is good. She had a bunch of great songs and wrote a ton of good songs. So I'm going to be the first one on the block to say it. Let's make sure we memorialize and immortalize her implants her breasts, because I don't know that prior to Dolly Parton, clown boobs were a thing. Unless they were natural. She's the first. Like, she's the first Kardashian. She went extreme trailblazer. Yeah. She went extreme with plastic surgery before anyone else. And Kardashians made those giant asses that aren't human. She made giant. Dolly Parton was the original. Yeah.

[A]

Because Jayne Mansfield was natural.

[C]

All of them. And even if they weren't, they never went clown cans.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You know what I mean? They basically went to, you know, I don't have anything here. Something. You can't think of any, can you?

[A]

No.

[C]

She's literally trying.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

She is the trailblazer for what ended up being what women do now. It's very common to see clown cans now. It's almost. Yeah. Thank you, Dolly. Thank you, Dolly Parton. Think of what she's done for society aside from music and entertainment.

[A]

All men should rejoice. I mean, we really do.

[C]

We need to celebrate this. And, you know, know it's bad because, like, women hate Dolly Parton's boobs because, oh, they're so fake. So weird. This one says she only has kidney stones. She's not in her deathbed, dude. You don't ask for prayers for kidney stones to tmz. I'm. I'm not saying you're wrong. She might get better. But when family members call TMZ and say we need prayers, it's taken a turn. Hill folk don't ask for prayers for kidney stones. Kidney stones happen. They'll get them out of there. And kidney stones, too. Look, Brady's kidney stones turned into a softball sized cancerous tumor, and they ripped one out. And the other one's not in good shape either. And we're not hill folks, so we didn't say we need prayers for, like, if we said that. That's if I'm saying something like that. He's not going to make it. I'm just judging it off of what hill people do. And when hill people start talking about wizard help, things are bad. When your last resort is to ask the general public to beg a wizard to save your sister, you're pretty much out on your ass. Like, I'm gonna try everything, even for you, Brett. Brett gets into some trouble. I'm like, all right, I've done everything I can, and the only option I've got is to ask the general public to ask a wizard to help Brett. Like, that's just, you know, you're at your end. That's not kidney stones. At all. And my point being, maybe she does recover. But Dolly ain't gonna last forever. So let's start it now. Dolly's breasts in the Rock and Roll hall of Fame or the Smithsonian.

[A]

Smithsonian I think, because I think that's. It's not just rock, it's not just music. Everybody knows Dolly in her cans.

[C]

Mr. Roger sweater is in the Smithsonian. His tennis shoes and a sweater.

[A]

Archie Bunker's chairs there too. Those cans need to be there for all of America to remember and enjoy.

[C]

And put a little asterisk next to it saying Dolly was the first one with the set of clown. And America followed suit. Suddenly women are like, oh, I'm not gonna go Dolly size but bigger. And then a few of them are like, Dolly's got nothing on what I'm doing. And they just started clown cannon. Then the Kardashians came along and said, boobs, watch this. And they made Dolly Parton sized cans in their ass. And I thought that was going to be a laughable goof. It turned into everyone. It turned into a probably billion but hundreds of million dollar industry of Brazilian butt lifts and big fat asses on women. I mean, can't get through the door asses. See them from the front asses. I thought that would be hilarious when at first. What is she doing with her ass? Khloe Kardashian was on TV about 12, 15 years ago and she turned around and I thought she had taken a dump in a diaper. Her ass was doing things human asses don't do. And somehow or another all of the NBA was into it.

[A]

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[B]

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[B]

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[C]

You couldn't walk by the NBA. The game would stop if the when the Kardashian first started that they found. You know when you get in a video game and there's like, you're looking for a key to open another lock? Yeah.

[A]

It's like Zelda.

[C]

They found the key to unlock the NBA and stop it cold and like, you will never not. And then everybody started doing it. White girls started doing it. Black girls started doing black girls. I had big asses to start with, and they got bigger. You're telling me that Cardi B is born with that thing? Nope. Saweetie. Sza Doja. She's doing it, right? Sza actually regrets hers because it's so big she can't do any. There's TV shows about removing it because it's too big. And when they remove it, it's still gigantic because it was. It should have had Peterbilt written on it. Dolly Parton started that.

[A]

Think when Dolly started out, too. It's not like you could go to the store and buy those clothes, too, because nobody had cans like that.

[C]

No, no. People are, you know, emailing, saying, dolly Parton sister says, you know, it is just kidney stones. I didn't mean to scare anyone. Look, your name is Frieda Parton. I've never heard of you before, but the first time I hear of you, you're begging TMZ to have a wizard fix your sister. That's more than kidney stones. You got scared, she got an infection. And look, Dolly's old kidney stones can.

[A]

Calm down Don Swayze if that's not.

[C]

You know what I mean. Right, Don Swayze?

[A]

I would have heard of Frida.

[C]

Frida Parton. You know why? I bet you Frida didn't do the clown cans. Frida Parton's just a regular Parton. What Dolly would have looked like had she not done the crazy. Dolly probably looked at Frida and said, I don't want to look like dad and put in new stuff. And maybe it is just something she can recover from. But let's start thinking about it. Freda said she's been under the weather and I simply asked for prayers because I believe so strongly in the power of prayer. It was nothing more than a little sister asking for prayers for her big sister. Thank you all for lifting her up. Your love truly makes a difference. That was Dolly saying, what are you doing? Shut up. People think I'm dying.

[A]

There's Frida.

[C]

Ugh.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

That'S Frida. And she thinks she sings, too. She thinks she's singing. You know what's going to happen if Dolly dies? Frida's going to run around singing her songs for a while.

[A]

Oh, yeah, she's going to go on. She's going to do a Vegas residency.

[C]

Well, she's going to try. It's going to be. It's going to be at the Fremont. If it's even there. It might be just a club off the Strip now. Frida is the Tiffany Trump of the Pardon family. Good Lord, stop showing me pictures of Free to Pardon. Well, Frida, I don't accept your apology. And also, I know what hill folk do. Wizard requests mean. She's. It was closer than we wanted it to be and we just have to start. What I'm saying is we have to start planning for Dolly's demise. Dolly's 80.

[A]

Dave just wrote in. Bless you, bros. Yeah, America needs to remember the cans.

[C]

The cans need to. We need to start. And better still that she may be just fine from this. Then we can start this conversation with her. In fact, Toledo, I get. We gotta get on this.

[B]

Hi, Richard.

[C]

Get Dolly Parton on the show. Start making moves. We can do this. I had a strange thing happen yesterday, Brett, speaking of old people.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

My phone rang and guy on the other line's there, Hi, my name is Ethan, how are you? I'm like, I'm fine. Can you hang on just a second? Make sure.

[A]

You called me.

[C]

And then I hear, hello, what's going on? And he says, hi, this is William Shatner. And. Oh, I will hold. And yeah, so William Shatner was on the phone for half a second with me in the backyard arranging his Wrath of Khan showing. I did this about seven years ago where I. He shows the Wrath of Khan and then comes out and does an hour long Q and A and storytelling thing. And I hosted it, I moderated it last time. And so they called and asked me if I wanted to do that again.

[A]

Nice.

[C]

And remember when I talked to Mr. Shatner here a couple weeks, we're going to air that interview soon for this very event. And I said, you know, I hosted the last time. And he. I don't remember that. Like, he didn't remember it at all. Oh, he remembered yesterday. It was like, you were great. I'm like, okay, I remember you hosting. It was great. I wanted you back. Like, no, you didn't. That's not you saying it. But anyway, so Yesterday I got 94 year old William Shatner online. So now I technically have William Shatner's phone number. I don't want to abuse that. He's got to know Dolly Parton.

[A]

Get Toledo on us.

[C]

I'm friends with really old Celebrities now.

[A]

Don't forget how this happened. What happened last time when you had Rowdy Roddy Piper with Burt Reynolds phone number.

[C]

Oh, I'm not gonna do it on the air. I've learned my lesson with that. Burt Reynolds wanted to kill me. I thought that would be fun. And again, it was a point of pride when people were daring me.

[B]

You.

[C]

You won't call him on the air. I'm like, I'm damn right I will. And I did. And he was furious. He threatened to sue everybody. Called him back to apologize, and he got more angry. Oh, he answered, huh? Huh? Didn't even make a noise, jj. And all I said was, I got you now, you some bitch. Who the hell is this? And I'm like, oh, boy. He was furious. It's what you do, though, when you're challenged by other men and then you cower in defeat. Because I was scared to death of him after. I thought for sure lawyers and everything else were going to show up. And I didn't do nothing. Really bad happened, but it was scary. It was definitely scary. And technically, I had broken rules because I didn't ask, do you want to be on the air? I called him live and let him go on the air. Oh, it was bad. I think the statute of limitations is up. And It'd be like 18 years ago, but still, he's dead anyway. Everyone's dead. Piper's dead. Yeah, I'm the only one alive from that whole thing, and barely, anyway, so William Shatner's got to know her. And Dolly Parton. I'll talk to him about that next time Bill and I are on the phone. That's right, you heard me. Next time Bill and I are on.

[A]

The phone, let's call him right now.

[C]

No, I don't want to do that.

[A]

Come on, man.

[C]

No, we're friends. It's different. It's different, Brett. I don't want to. I don't want to abuse the friends.

[A]

Friend would take your call.

[C]

A friend would take my call, but a friend would not. Would trust that I wouldn't call him.

[A]

That way, if you called Caliendo right now, he would answer and talk to.

[C]

You, and he would say, what are you doing? What are you doing? Put me on the air.

[A]

Well, maybe. Maybe William Shatner.

[C]

No, Bill. It's Bill. Bill would be upset.

[A]

He's Bill to you. He's William to me.

[C]

We're not that good of friends. Yeah. Oh, he's Mr. Shatner, too. Don't fool yourself. Yeah, you show some respect to my past.

[A]

Does he just do. Does he just do the con thing the whole time? Or does he ever do, like a TJ Hooker one? Or, you know, the Star Trek?

[C]

But the Wrath of Khan is known as the best of the Star Trek movies. He was in. And it is. And then the place packs up. People watch that movie. And then he tells stories. Now, seven years ago, his stories are different than they are now. Cause since then he's been to space. He almost died twice. Like, he's got new stories. So he's touring this one man show and he just has a moderator there. And my job is to kind of ask a few questions from the audience, from me, and prompt his next story. And they give me cards that basically say, you know, he wants to get into this. So however you can guide that.

[A]

Should have Brady do it.

[C]

No.

[A]

What?

[C]

Caliento wants to do it with me. That'd be cool. Which would be pretty fun. And he's got a. He hung out with Stephen Hawking. That wasn't one of the stories last time. So he's got a bunch of stuff that could be fun. But also, I'll ask him, hey, do you know Dolly Parton pretty well? Because you guys were, like, famous at the same time. He's 94. You go back to when Wrath of Khan was made. He's my age in Wrath of Khan. It's crazy. Like, 83, 82. So he was like 53, 54. And that he's. It's crazy to think of that.

[A]

82.

[C]

Yeah, that kind of. That was what, 43 years ago? So he was 51. So I'm a little older than he was in Rathon. But, my God, is Ricardo still alive.

[A]

Or is he dead, too?

[C]

No, Montalban's dead. Okay. Has to be, right?

[A]

I don't know. Look him up.

[C]

I'm pretty sure he's dead. Yeah, yeah. Connor's definitely dead either way. And when William Shatner dies, his toupee should also be in the Smithsonian. Although he didn't really lead with it. We just know about it. Anyway, Dolly, we're gonna miss you. And I hope it is what they say it is, which is just, you know, kidney stone, but a thing. He's like the last one left from Star Trek.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, well, Chekhov, I think is still.

[C]

Well, Chekhov was young.

[A]

89.

[C]

Kirstie Alley's even dead, and she was in that.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. Everybody's dead from the Star Trek movies except still alive, George Takei.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, my. Ew. That's what a healthy sex life will get You, Brett. Oh, no. Anal sex, everyone. And also Dolly might be checking out. Right on time. Brad, I know this won't make you happy. You saw what Amazon's doing to 007.

[A]

Oh, removing all the guns from the posters.

[C]

I mean, come on, can we get. Okay, so here's the thing. If you don't know all the old James Bond movies classic. The gun is part of the pose is Walther. Yeah, it's a Walther ppk, right? Yeah, it's a. It's a crappy little pea shooter, really, that you know it would hurt you if it hit you from close. But you had to be James Bond to make that thing a weapon. And he always had the Walther ppk. And then every poster. The pose. It's the silhouette in the beginning of every Bond movie where he swings and poses. So the awesome pose is the. They've taken the gun out of all the posters of 007 movies of the past. All of them.

[A]

Universe.

[C]

Morning sickness Medicate. KU pd.

[A]

Hey, Byron. I heard you have something new to announce from MMP Guns, Brett.

[B]

I sure do. It's MMP Guns. Customs M and P Guns is creating some amazing firearms. We offer polishing, plating, bluing, custom laser engraving, laser stippling, Cerakoting and performance upgrades. We do everything in house with our master trained craftsmen. You can select our designs or make up your own.

[A]

Well, can you do this to my gun?

[B]

We can do it to nearly any firearm matter where you live. You can ship it to us or. We already have completed firearms in inventory daily with. No wait.

[C]

Well, there you have it.

[A]

MMP Guns on the northeast corner of 12th street and Indian School or online at MMP Guns customs.com.

[C]

Amazon has I want to know, like. Yeah, because there's Dr. No where he's. Look at Goldeneye.

[A]

Look how ridiculous this is. He's just standing there with his.

[C]

Just with his hand up. Now, goldeneye, the original posters. Pierce Brosnan. They took him out of the Pierce Brosnan ones. Who's even re watching those, right? Who's watching the Pierce Brosnan Bond movies? They're terrible.

[A]

They probably left the Timothy Dalton guns in. Nobody's going to see these anyway. We don't got time for that.

[C]

I forgot about Timothy Dalton. Ones were a little aggressive. He was a bad Bond. But even the like Specter and all that, he's always got his gun. He has a license to kill. That was one of the movies, right? Is there any research that shows that? First off, what kid's looking up old Sean Connery movies? And is going to be influenced by the poster. Second, is there any research to prove? Because they did this with ET A few years ago where they took the guns and they made them walkie talkies. Steven Spielberg did that. Yeah, they took it all off. All of the guys that were chasing Elliot and ET around used to have guns while they. Now they all have walkie talkie. So they replaced, digitally replaced all the guns with walkie talkies. It's like what China's doing or the AI that they made it. So you can watch any movie you want, but AI will redo the movie's gay scenes to seem like they're something else. Like if dudes are kissing, I don't know how they do it, but they've made it so AI can redo movies to get rid of the gay. They're doing that with guns. But is there research out there at all that says, oh, this will curb violence? Or this makes it so? Because if it was a thing that created violence, wouldn't it have done it? Then you would think, like back in the 70s, wouldn't it have been like, just, oh, those posters are causing people to shoot everybody. Like, wouldn't we have. Wouldn't we have seen upticks in violence from the posters? Then why is double. And it has to be just to get people to look at old 007s again on Amazon. But Amazon's not hurting. They don't need a push for a product unless they've got a warehouse full of Bond movies they want to get rid of.

[A]

Well, they spent an s load of money on buying the franchise.

[C]

Okay, still, so what? I agree. You bought the franchise because it was a brilliant franchise for what it was. It wasn't because you were going to monkey with it. So you turn it around to be gunless Bond. Then what? Because the next thing Bond is known for is what? Banging broads. And that's toxic. So you can't have a Bond girl. I mean, the great line that Timothy, or not Timothy Dalton, but Pierce Brosnan utters in that horrible Bond movie with Denise Richards and her name was something Dr. Christmas. And the last line of the movie, which is just awesome because it turned into Austin Powers, when he climbs on her and he rolls over and he gets her, and then they show him and he gets on her again and she wants more. And he said, I thought Christmas only came once a year. And it doesn't even make sense. And then it goes. And all the guys are like, yes, because he was gonna nail her for a second time. He's a womanizing private investigator who uses sex. What are they thinking? I want the research that says removing guns from ET Caused a downturn in violence. I want to see it because it's not a thing. It's just not a thing. So it's just designed to piss people off and give the folks at Fox News more fodder to lose their minds over stuff that doesn't really matter, but just put it back. You bought the franchise from the 70s. It is what it is. You know, what are you gonna do? Go back to Leave it to Beaver reruns and make June get a job like women work? She's some housewife. This is just a debt. This is terrible to women. Well, this is what it was like then, disarming James Bond. And then I saw an argument online that said, this is the first step of disarming police officers. And I'm like, wow, that's a pretty good leap. Then you start thinking about it. It's like, wait a minute. If Bond can't have a gun and he's a hero, then you can start saying, well, anyone with a gun is bad. Military movies where they're just throwing pillows at each other. But the Bond thing is, like, disappointing because you'd think that you could leave, you know, all the old stuff where it is and just know what it is. Craig says, I think they took the walkie talkie ET version out. Cause Spielberg even admitted it was a huge mistake, but they still did it. And I don't know where the science comes from that says, oh, this solved the problem. Like, kids won't be violent anymore, and it was never the catalyst for it. What is this? Oh, is this. It was wrong about you.

[A]

Yeah?

[C]

How so? I thought Christmas only comes once a year.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Yes. That was a bad movie. And it still had an ending where you're like, all right, Bond, use that woman like tissue and throw her away. You never saw a second time with the Bond girl. He hoard him and he dumped them.

[A]

Well, and think about all the names. Are they gonna change the names? There you go. Yeah.

[C]

Pussy Galore. Money, Penny. I mean, come on. So if, in fact, you know, they have, I don't know, some sort of a plan to do this with other movies. You're not gonna see anything the same again. And it's like going back and painting art differently. Mona Lisa needed to, you know, she needed to have a man in her life or, I don't know, she needed, like, she needed to have a diploma on the wall. What are you doing? She looks like a subservient woman. We don't like that anymore. It's not good.

[A]

Honey Rider.

[C]

Who?

[A]

Honey Rider.

[C]

Honey Ryder. Oh, what was Ursula Andress's name? She had another.

[A]

That was Honey, right?

[C]

Oh, that was Honey Rider. Okay.

[A]

I was gonna say Holly Goodhead.

[C]

Holly, think of what they were doing back in the 60s and 70s. Holly Goodh. Ah, Ms. Goodhead. How are you? I don't have a weapon anymore. At least not attached to my body. He was a whore. He was a full man. And to take the gun out of the poster does absolutely nothing. And if your kid was gonna shoot somebody because of the poster of a 1977 Bond movie, you had a lunatic on your hands. And there's no chance that it was. That poster was the only thing stopping him. Thank God we got the gun out of that poster because our son Todd was going to shoot up the school. And thank Christ. Well, now he's not even a little bit violent. Where's the Research says this works.

[A]

Plenty o'.

[C]

Toole. Was that her name? Who was that?

[A]

There's one. I don't know. I gotta find that.

[C]

I just forgot that one. Well, that's not right. Nobody was Plenty o'. Toole. A real Bond girl. That's not it. That's an Austin Powers one. That can't.

[A]

Diamonds Are Forever.

[C]

The girl's name. And Diamonds Are Forever is Plenty o'. Toole. And we're getting rid of the guns in the poster.

[A]

There you go.

[C]

Who was it? Oh, my God. Her name is Plenty o'. Toole. Porn even looks at that and says, nah, that's too far. That's stupid. Nobody's gonna buy that. Who played Plenty o'? Tool?

[A]

I can't see Lana Wood.

[C]

Oh, she's got a name either way. Lotta Wood. Plenty o'. Tool. Holly Good. Yeah. Look, it just. It doesn't make sense to me and it's just silly and I don't. Yeah, I. How many movies have guns on the poster? Think about it. Platoon. Yeah, you take that out. I mean, Django and Chain can't last much. Any Quentin Tarantino thing can't survive the future. There's no way. Pulp Fiction. One of the greatest classic pieces of cinematic art ever made. No guns.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Come on. It's ridiculous. It's. That's the one says another guy's movies somehow de. Escalate violence while every single Hollywood movie being pumped out is full of guns, Kung fu fights, shooting as many bad guys as you can count, blowing up everything inside. It's laughable. To be doing both of these things at the same time as a lot of the thing. Here we go. The left in Hollywood does. It's completely surface, meaningless, and solely for optics. That's so true. Philip's right. So true. It's all for a show to seem like they're. We're doing something for your kids. And you know what? It's the passive aggressive game that when Trump said they're banning burning the American flag, he was hoping people would be like, we want to burn the flag. You can't take that away. It's the same thing. It makes people riled up. And then you're like, oh, you love guns, huh? And I kind of say yes to that. I do. Yeah.

[A]

Cody says if they're so worried about their kids becoming violent, maybe they shouldn't let them start playing Call of duty and GTA at 8 years old.

[C]

Don't even go down that road because those don't cause it either. They may be like, again. No, but I mean, it begs the question, what kid who's still impressionable is watching Bond movies from the 70s? Which. Where are they seeing the posters? They're going on Amazon and searching out Connery posters. Who sees them? I haven't seen Roger Moore. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Even Pierce Bronze.

[C]

Yeah. Who has seen a Bond poster in the last. When's the last time you saw one? And, like, analyze it went, oh, that gun makes me. I'm all fired up. I want to go shoot some stuff.

[A]

Never.

[C]

I want the research that it is. It's all surface. It's nonsense.

[A]

This one hits home. Next thing you know, they're gonna edit the Godfather show. Marco Corleone grabbing a walkie talkie from behind the toilet. That hit home for me. Thank you, Jesse.

[C]

And then that guy going, yeah, morning sickness. 88 KUPD. Holmberg's morning sickness. To make all that noise and distract. Before they shot Lou, who they shoot. There was a Turk. Was it Abe Vagoda?

[A]

No, no, no.

[C]

I thought they shot.

[A]

They shot the. The cop.

[C]

Oh, was that the one where the guy was making all the noise, though, to distract, and he walked up behind him and shot him, and then they ran out of the diner. I gotta watch Godfather. Yeah, I thought that was Luca Brazzi.

[A]

No, no, he's the one who got strangled. Oh, that's strangled.

[C]

Well, you can't have that anymore. No, Godfather just has to be everybody hugging. Godfather has a gun. Doesn't. It's got a puppeteer thing. Sopranos has the gun.

[A]

Yeah. No, Godfather's just the puppet over the emblem.

[C]

The R in Sopranos is a handgun. Yeah, that's gotta go because kids are watching. You know the Sopranos so much. I don't get it. We're so misguided on everything. Raise your damn kids.

[A]

Leave the walkie talkie, take the cannoli. I mean, it doesn't work.

[C]

Does it? Does it though? Because I actually am enjoying the hell out of it. I think maybe. I think maybe it's a thing, Brett. I think maybe we should go back in time and change it all to. To that garbage to where you're just hearing the. You come in here with that walkie talkie and you look me in the eyes. I don't know what we're talk, but I want you to go in that place and I want you to whack him. Want me to take him out, boss? Yeah, but not with a gun or anything. That's violent. That's terrifying. Kids might see. Go in there and when I say whack him, give him a smack in the face and a good talking to.

[A]

I'll call Jonathan Gannon and I'll send.

[C]

Him in the let. No, he's too violent. A smack, open hand, like 80s MMA fighting. In fact, if you could just de escalate and talk to him before we do it, this movie still be great. Take the guns out of Bond. And it's not the movie, it's just the poster. So what about Rambo? Jesus Christ, could we ever even think about Rambo's posters? If he's just like giving us a thumbs up, it changes everything.

[A]

Matthew said, john, pretty soon you're gonna see everybody running around the movies with their fingers pointing at each other going pew, pew, pew.

[C]

Mother effort and little piss lasers come like those water guns. Your kids are violent because your kids are violent. That's all.

[A]

Big moves like the wnba, replace all guns with dildos.

[C]

There you go. Just have them flopping around with giant dicks that.

[A]

Shoot, look who wrote that one first.

[C]

Before you, Showtime Shane. He says no crazy violence was happening when Bond movies came out, but now it's an issue. That's what I said. Yeah, Showtime. Shane's right. You know who could get us the answers to this is that John Eaton. He knows everything. So, John Eaton, if you could fire over the actual data that shows how violence has risen because of James Bond's posters, I'd love to see it.

[A]

What are the Ghostbusters gonna kill ghosts with now?

[C]

Well, they didn't have guns. They had made up toys.

[A]

Well, those were.

[C]

They were violent. Yeah, caused A lot of strife. Blew up a lot of stuff.

[A]

Well, John Wick is out, then.

[C]

John Wick is so out.

[A]

I love those movies.

[C]

Yeah. And you know who else is out? Let's just move it right on out of movies. I don't think you can enjoy Guns N Roses as much as you used to. Look, if they ban LA Guns, I'm fine with it. But Guns N Roses being out, Plenty of gun action out there. I don't know, just drives me. If your kids. If your kids are that fragile, it's your fault. Keep a better eye on him. You know what? Going back to our original, give him a Gannon once in a while.

[A]

There you go.

[C]

Let him know who's boss. Violence begets violence. Now you need a man in the house. Need a man in the house to grab the kid and go, knock it off. I'm gonna shoot everybody because I saw a Bond poster. What are you. Are you crazy? Somebody put this kid in a straightjacket.

[A]

Maybe they'll change the scene in Scarface where he's cut getting cut up with a chainsaw to tickling him.

[C]

Or even better, at the end, he comes out of the rooms. Say hello to my little friend. Hi. My name's Timmy. It's just a little guy that's just his friend. Yeah, I got him as my big brother.

[A]

Oh, Plenty o' Toole was Natalie Wood's sister.

[C]

Oh, that's right.

[A]

Yeah. Thank you, John.

[C]

She's a second sister, too. Lorna.

[A]

Oh, I don't know. I don't know.

[C]

Well, that might be. I don't remember her last name.

[A]

We got the new Rambo poster.

[C]

Oh, no, somebody's already made it. It's just two thumbs up where the machine gun once was. But he's still making machine gun Fire in face. Pew, pew, pew, pew. You know, I would rather beat up all these Cambodians with rocks. Isn't it still violence if he uses something else? So wouldn't your kids just learn that, like, if Rambo goes, I'm hitting you with rocks. And he's, like, real proficient with rock throwing. And he kills Cambodians with rocks. And kids would want to kill each other with rocks. The posters were. The posters were doing nothing.

[A]

Especially James Bond posters.

[C]

All you thought of was, like, man, that guy's gonna bang everybody. Sometimes I'd look like. All the opening sequences were important to the movie because they were like the new opening sequence, it had the song, and then he'd spin and turn into that. That scope of photography that was getting all. It was great stuff. Naked ladies swimming around in their silhouettes was awesome. You can't do it. So great, John. Next thing you know, all the Kiss songs I love are gonna change. You can't have Love Gun anymore. It would have to be called Jew Crank. I don't know if that's gonna be. That's good. I don't know. Actually, you know what? Gene Simmons here from Kiss. Not a terrible idea. Shoe Crank kisses Kisses back. Brett and I want to thank EJ Balms for that. Kiss us back. We were retired. We were just going to be holograms. But with this fantastic new idea to appease people with crazy children, we've changed the name of Love Gun to Jucrank. Because, really. Let's just cut to the chase, Brett. That's what the song is about. Jew Crank. It's just what it's about. Now we're gonna have some trouble because everything in the song rhymes with Love Gun up to that point. But Juke Rank is catchy. We're going to redo all of our songs to be more transparent about what they're really about. And Love Gun is the first one we'll go with. And, E.J. you'll get a writing credit from Kiss. It doesn't mean any money, but you should be honored that you're on a Kiss album with me and the Dove. Sponsored by Dove, by the way. Yeah. You gotta wash your Ju Crank with Dove soap, so we know better. And now just listen to how great this might sound. Love Gun is no longer called that because your kids will kill. We all know you've raised nut bags, so let me introduce Kissy's new hit, Jucray. I really love you, baby I love what you've got let's get together, we can get hot. I have to sing the whole. Whole damn thing. And we're going to get to the course. Don't bore us. Get to the course. No place to run. Paul sings this, so I'm just. You pull the trigger of mine to Crane Ukraine. It works. Yeah. You can forget me, baby don't you try to lie yeah, it works. Brett, this is something we need to run with the Jew Crank. I'll call Paul immediately and we'll get a tour together for Kiss. And we'll call it The Jew crank 26. Because God forbid. God forbid that we Kiss cause any of your nutbag kids to lose their minds and shoot people. Because we simply had Love Gun as a song. Yes. It's very good. This is very good. Excellent. Thank you very much to EJ Balms. One of the writers now of Kiss's next album, Jew crank 26. Oh, thank you for giving me this time. Thanks, Gene.

[A]

I got nothing now.

[C]

Maybe we just play Jew Crank as the Wake up song. Everybody can sing it in their cars. Yeah, I think that's a good idea. All right, it's time for the Wake Up Song. I think we know what direction that's gonna go. Brad, who brings us that?

[A]

Of course. It's Action Ride Shop. And the boys are getting you guys ready for the season. And now's the time to get those bikes serviced. Pick up a new bike. Pick up a new bike. Get all the gear you're gonna need and all the advice you need over at Action Ride Shop. And they got two locations right there. The OG on Gilber Road and Southern. And of course, the brand new one right there on power Road and McDowell. It is Action Ride Shop. Actionride shop.com.

[C]

There it is. It's already waste our time to crank. It is.

[A]

Oh, we got the. We got the new poster for Pulp Fiction since.

[C]

Oh, God.

[A]

Hang on, hang on. Hold that.

[C]

Does the Pulp Fiction poster have a gun in it? It's got a picture of Travolta and then Sam Jackson. The one I had the poster was those two together and they're both holding guns.

[A]

Yeah. Well, then there's this one.

[C]

That's why they just have dildos in their hands. I don't know how you people are so quick with this. Nice work. That's excellent work. God, AI scares the hell out of me. That was fast. Yeah. So there it is. Well, enjoy it. You know what to do in the car.

[A]

I can't not sing this.

[C]

We may join in. It's Kiss. Let me handle this. Kiss. All the way from 1977. 50 years later, it's now Jew crank on 98 KUPD.

[A]

Nice.

[B]

It's not weird.

[C]

It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees. I have heard enough of this.