10-08-25 - FULL SHOW - WEDNESDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Holmberg’s Morning Sickness (98 KUPD Arizona)

Episode: 10-08-25 - FULL SHOW - WEDNESDAY

Air Date: October 8, 2025
Host: John Holmberg
Co-hosts: Brett Vesely, Dick Toledo (Brady Bogen is out)

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Overview

This lively, irreverent episode of Arizona’s top-rated morning radio show features John Holmberg and his team riffing on local sports drama, pop culture controversies, and workplace antics—all in their signature mix of humor, sarcasm, and candid banter. Central topics include the fallout from Cardinals coach Jonathan Gannon’s viral sideline punch, the role of physical discipline in football, America’s endless culture wars (from drag queens to pride parades), old vs. new school thinking, and a hilarious AI music segment. Jabs at WNBA, celebrity updates, and local observations round out a show that’s as raucous as it is relatable for Phoenix listeners.

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Key Segments & Discussion Highlights

1. Opening Shots – Arizona Mornings and “Paradise”

[00:55–01:52]

• Holmberg encourages listeners to step outside and appreciate Arizona’s October weather:

  “Go outside, breathe some of this air… because you live in paradise. And you must recognize it.”

• Light jokes about Maryvale:

  “Unless you’re in Maryvale. Stay inside. You’re gonna get shot.”

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2. Jonathan Gannon Punch Controversy

[01:52–17:00]

Incident Details

• Cardinals’ coach Jonathan Gannon fined $100,000 for punching RB Emari Demercado after a critical fumble.
• Holmberg and Brett debate: Is physical discipline ever justified by a coach? Will this get Gannon fired?

Major Talking Points

• Comparison to legendary coaches (Woody Hayes, Bobby Knight) who were fired for physical abuse:

  “Woody’s face is everywhere in Ohio State. He’s legendary. And he got booted because a player finally said, ‘dude's being a little rough.’”
  — Holmberg [06:09]

• The podcast/social media effect:

  “That’s the danger… and the brilliance of podcasting… Everybody’s voice gets heard.”

• Double standards for players vs. coaches
• Workplace analogies (“Try this in a normal job—you’d get sued!”)

Memorable Back-and-Forth

• Brett (pro-punch): “Goddamn, he deserved it. And if it was that big of a deal, he should have jumped up and jacked Gannon right back.” [09:09]
• Holmberg: “A closed fist punch is different than grabbing a guy by the shoulder pads and shaking him. Even smacking somebody in the helmet.” [10:13]
• Brett, half-mocking: “We might as well fire him and bring in a single Gilbert mom to be the head coach now.” [09:03]

Debate: Football Toughness vs. Modern Standards

• Holmberg balances nostalgia for old-school coaching with the reality of workplace violence standards.
• Brett represents “old school,” repeatedly calling criticisms “pussy” behavior.

Notable Listener Quotes:

• “Do we need to just start handing out participation trophies again for all these pussies?” [10:06]
• “If there were different rules for football, it would happen more.” [13:54]

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3. Pop Culture & Political Satire

[32:00–44:04]

Drag, Crime, and Fox News

• Holmberg lampoons Fox News’ obsession with drag queens and “fear-based” reporting.
• Notes how merely dressing in drag and committing a minor crime seems to guarantee cable news infamy these days.

  “If you dress in drag and commit a crime…Fox News will have you for months on there.” [36:13]

Bad Bunny and the Super Bowl

• Critique of right-wing uproar over Bad Bunny as a Super Bowl halftime performer.

  “I watched [Fox] for two hours…all they talk about is drag queens and inner city crime.”

• Amused by Speaker Mike Johnson suggesting Lee Greenwood as a mass-appeal halftime show pick.

Musical AI Segments—Classic Rock Goes Soul/Rap

• Teasers for an AI segment later, where rap and rock classics are reharmonized in different genres.

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4. Local Culture & Pride Month Scheduling

[44:00–49:55]

• Huge Phoenix Pride Parade staged in October instead of June due to heat.

• Holmberg calls out “prideful when convenient” and wonders why events can’t embrace summer heat.

  “If you’re really prideful…your Pride Month is June. Phoenix is like, no, it's too hot to be proud.”

• Extensive, comedic observations on parade logistics, straight people’s confusion, and the economics of gay divorce.

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5. Sports: WNBA, NFL & “Manliness”

[49:55–60:08]

WNBA Finals:

“1.9 million people tuned in…peaked at like 600,000 for the whole [game].”
“Go aces. If it goes 2–1, I start getting nervous about that tattoo again.” (on his on-air bet to tattoo the Mercury logo if they win) [135:46–136:09]

• More talk about sports “toughness,” participation trophies, and public reactions to violence.
• Jerry Jones fined $250,000 for flipping off Jets fans.

  “I was getting my fingers up to scratch the herpe and give a thumbs up at the same time.” (as Jerry Jones) [106:11]

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6. Culture Wars: Editing Classics, Gun Control Symbolism

[70:48–85:56]

James Bond Movie Posters: Guns Removed on Amazon

“What kid…is going to be influenced by the poster? Is there any research to prove [removing guns] curbs violence?” [72:00]

• Extended riff: Should we retroactively “clean up” all violent movies?
• Absurdist speculation: “Maybe they'll change Scarface: Say hello to my little friend—Hi, my name’s Timmy!”

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7. Celebrity Health & “Prayers for Dolly”

[53:10–64:25]

• Family of Dolly Parton asks for prayers—Holmberg jokes that when “hill folks” do this, it’s serious.

  “They need prayers for Dolly. I think Dolly's about done.”

• Calls for her famous implants to go to the Smithsonian as an American artifact.

  “She’s the first, like, the first Kardashian. She went extreme trailblazer: clown cans before anyone else.” [57:42]

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8. AI Music Challenge: Classic Songs Reimagined

[144:36–159:52]

Premise:

• Each host selects a well-known rock song to be re-rendered by AI in a totally different musical genre.

Results:

• Brett’s pick: NWA’s “Straight Outta Compton” as a Motown/soul track (absolutely steals the show).

  [Sample: 149:34]
  “Straight outta Compton, crazy mo’ named Ice Cube / Come on, gang called fellas with attitudes…”

• Holmberg’s: Slipknot's “Psychosocial” as a 60s blues rock song—funny, but Brett’s wins handily.

“There is no way my song is beating…you took a different angle. Damn it all. That’s a championship run…” —John Holmberg, [150:03]

Listener Reaction:

• Rave reviews; link to the reimagined song posted on their Facebook page.

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9. “Brady Report”: Odd News & Local Flavor

[94:44–128:23]

• Fun facts about average weights for Americans (men: 200 lbs, women: 171 lbs)
• Food news: Long John Silver’s switches to chicken mascot; implications discussed for humanity.
• The dangers of having fat pets (“apple fat ass back into shape”).
• Arizona traffic rankings, lottery winners, and obscure regional restaurants (nobody’s heard of “Skippers”).

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10. Odds & Ends: Callbacks and Show Sign-Offs

[172:08–END]

• Celebrates cohost Fitz’s successful gaming charity fundraiser ($10,401 for Phoenix Children’s Hospital).
• Recap: LeBron’s fake retirement tease, AI technology advances, WNBA Finals attendance, and Holmberg’s enduring (and humorous) skepticism of mega-celebrity “greatness.”

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Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• On Arizona’s Fall Weather:
  “We live in paradise, bitch… Unless you’re in Maryvale. Stay inside. You’re gonna get shot.” —Holmberg, [01:06]
• On Coach’s Punch:
  “Think of this in any other job anywhere in the United States. If you throw a punch into the guts of one of your employees…” —Holmberg, [04:26]
• Listener Feedback High Point:
  “Do we need to just start handing out participation trophies for all these pussies?” —Emailer, [10:06]
• On Football vs. Civilization:
  “I’m not saying I’m against it. I’m saying you shouldn’t do it in this world. In today’s world, the smarter move is to not punch an employee.” —Holmberg, [13:37]
• On Media Obsession:
  “If you dress in drag and commit a crime... Fox News will have you for months on there.” —Holmberg, [36:13]
• Bad Bunny Backlash:
  “I watched Fox for more than 30 minutes… you’re just sitting there going, I’m not going outside ever again.” —Holmberg, [38:01]
• AI Music Segment King:
  “Straight outta Compton, crazy mo’ named Ice Cube… (Motown AI version)” —[149:34]
• On Dolly Parton’s Place in History:
  “She is the trailblazer for what ended up being what women do now. Dolly Parton was the original…” —Holmberg, [57:49]
• On WNBA Finals Viewership:
  “1.9 million people tuned in… peaked at like 600,000 for the whole.” —Holmberg, [135:03]

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Tone & Vibe

• Raw, sarcastic, and conversational.
• Quick shifts from sports rants to musical diversions, cultural satire, and local color.
• Intentional “pushing buttons” while maintaining self-awareness.
• Strong Arizona/PHX flavor and lots of inside jokes for local listeners.

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Episode Structure

• 5:45–9:00: Morning banter, weather, Gannon incident
• 9:00–17:00: The NFL coaching punch debate
• 32:00–44:00: Pop culture riffs, drag queens, pride month
• 70:00ff: Culture war topics, classic movies, gun edits
• 94:00ff: “Brady report” (news, trivia, food)
• 144:00ff: AI song challenge
• 172:00ff: Good deeds, retrospectives, show close

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For First-Time Listeners:

This episode captures the unfiltered fun of "Holmberg’s Morning Sickness": mixing local sports hot-takes, pop culture jabs, and random but brilliant audio stunts. The hosts’ chemistry is their superpower—embracing disagreement, ribbing each other, and always looking for the next punchline (sometimes literally). If you can roll with NSFW jokes and lightning-fast pivots between sports, politics, celebrity, and Phoenix life, you’ll enjoy the chaos.

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Standout Segment:
Don’t miss the "Straight Outta Compton" Motown AI cover — the highlight of relentless AI commentary and musical creativity ([148:48–154:08]).

Full episode runs ~3 hours; key themes repeat and humor is sharp throughout.

Transcript

[Brett]

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[Brett]

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[John Holmberg]

Sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil. Sitting right here.

[Toledo]

Come on.

[Byron]

No, no, he's not.

[John Holmberg]

He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. 98.

[AI Voice]

Good morning, everybody.

[John Holmberg]

Hello there. Welcome to Wednesday. It is 5:45. This is most of the morning sickness. My name's John Holmberg. How are you? Brady's not here. There's Brett. You're here. Yeah.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

All right. You sound great. I'm not so sure about myself, but I don't know. Still on my mind. And then Toledo's in the other room. We're good. Let's get it started, shall we? It's a glorious morning. First of all, just take advantage of it again. I do this every October where I walk outside, I'm like, here we go. Appreciate it, everyone. Appreciate it. We live in paradise, bitch. Cry about politics all day. Argue with your family. That guy's too gay. That guy's not gay enough. Where are the drag queens? Get rid of the drag. All that bitching and crying you're doing all day about nothing. Go outside, breathe some of this air that we got going on right now. Take a walk. Enjoy yourself, because you live in paradise. And you must recognize it. It's beautiful here. We don't say it enough. Unless you're in Maryvale. Stay inside. You're gonna get shot. Yeah, I was there last week. It's horrifying. Horrifying.

[Brett]

But I'm enemy. No way.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. No. It's so nice out right now. It makes you upset that if you have to get up this early to do a job, the sucky part Is. Is that you got to go to work instead of like, all right, well, I'm up. I might as well do something. It's spectacular out there right now. It is absolutely beautiful. So get on out there if you can. Take the chance and make it happen. I am fascinated so far today with what's going to happen with Jonathan Gannon. I don't know if you saw it. You saw it over the wings. He punched it. He got. He got find $100,000 for punching a player who, by the way, I don't know how you didn't punch. This is the dude who was, you know, traipsing into the end zone and just threw the ball down on the one yard line before he got in and cost the Cardinals the game. Not. That's not fair. But it did. It cost him the game.

[Brett]

Yeah, it did. At the end of the day, the.

[John Holmberg]

Beginning of the avalanche, which I think is the beginning of the avalanche of the season. And unfortunately, a guy like Jonathan Gannon, who I liked as a coach, showed some really poor coaching inability on Sunday. And now they hit him with a hundred thousand dollars for punching a player. Which, by the way, you can do if you've got a precedent set for fines. And they do in the NFL, they have a whole thing. And oddly enough, one of the things is altercation with a player that gets out of hand. There is a fine for that and there's a severity to it. Cardinals coach got hit with it. If you didn't see Demercado, he took two. He hit him twice.

[Brett]

He deserved both of them.

[John Holmberg]

Well, if you've got an Italian head coach, and I think Gannon might have a little Italian in him, he came from Philadelphia. I think he's punch guys all the time. But Cardinal fans have to be torn on this one. Cause there's a player out there who just drops the ball going in to the end zone in a game that, you know, probably should have been sealed and goes back. You know, he was sad. He was down. I watched James Harrison and Joe Hayden. They've got a podcast together. And James Harrison said he'd be in jail if any coach did that to him. Well, guess what? No coach would have done that to you.

[Brett]

Right?

[John Holmberg]

That's.

[Brett]

There's the.

[John Holmberg]

There's the pick your battles. I don't think James Harrison drops the ball going into the end zone and the coach punches James Harrison in the stomach. I just don't think you hit Debo that way. I just. I think there's certain dudes you're not Going to do that to DeMarcado. Took a shot and then a full on hook to the body when his head was down and turned. It was a cheap move. And I'm wondering if this is going to be a firing offense like I.

[Brett]

This is if Kime held on to it. So I would just go say, I'm drunk.

[John Holmberg]

Yes. Pull the Bruce Kelly. I like what you're saying. I'm an alcoholic. Think of this in any other job anywhere in the United States. If you throw a punch into the guts of one of your employees, wait.

[Brett]

For Tripp to come in today.

[John Holmberg]

If Tripp's like, you know, I, I don't know what you're thinking half the time with what you talk about. Get out of my office. I'm like, that guy A, is going to get his ass kicked. B, I'm losing my job, but I'm gaining all sorts of money in the lawsuit. It is, it's bad. And I think it's just the little bit of what will turn out to be a really bad thing if demarcado. And I gotta hand it to him because I still think he feels like an idiot. So he doesn't want his. He didn't want his name all over the papers. Well, I don't even say papers. You know what I mean? The Internet, I said, that's old timey term for news.

[Brett]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

See, when the man doesn't want his name in print, that's for sure, Brett. All right, we'll be right back with more ink spots after this. No, he doesn't want his name in the lights. So he's staying quiet, probably at the advice of other people. But this, this, this teeter totter is tilting in his favor right now. And as the guy who they, you know, Woody Hayes was, is still a legendary coach in Ohio State and in college football. When I went back to Ohio State with Brady that time to watch Michigan, Ohio State, all they do on the billboard on the screen is put Woody Hay stuff on. There's the punch.

[Brett]

There's any sound, though.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, there's. I don't either. But he just, he wanders over and just. He slugs him. He just slugs the poor guy right in the guts and then gets him.

[Brett]

On the way out too.

[John Holmberg]

But Woody's. Woody's face is everywhere in Ohio State. He's legendary. Absolutely legendary. And he got booted because a fan or a player finally said, dude's being a little rough. And then they got it on film of him smacking a dude around Ohio State. Fans remember the name of the guy he hit that got Woody bounced. Now they were kind of looking for a way to get rid of Woody at the time. He was old. It might not have been going the right direction, but he was still the legend, and you just can't do that. You just. And Bobby Knight, same thing. Got a little rough with the player. He's gone. And, you know, he was just yelling at guys, and they had a video of it where he got in somebody's face, he got a little physical, and you're gone. So Jonathan Gannon surviving. This is going to be questionable now, especially that former players have taken to podcast. That's the danger of podcasting and the brilliance of podcasting. Everybody's voice in social media, too, gets heard. All these. All these old players have now jumped on this Ida killed that mother bandwagon. And I think now this idiot move of a. Of a guy who dropped the ball is now in his favor. He's now been the victim of a terrible situation. And I don't know that Gannon makes it out of this. I. I know it's early in that. I don't think. I don't think they're going to tolerate it. I don't think the NFL. Well, the Cardinals. What? You're right. But.

[Brett]

B o o h o o Bo.

[John Holmberg]

Hang on to the ball. You don't get punched.

[Brett]

You're a football player, for Christ's sake.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but you. There's a difference between being allowed to go out and hit another dude and having your coach come over and hit you in a soft spot of pads. Now, it's not going to hurt him. Yeah, he's padded up, but it's. There's. That. It's like spitting on a guy. It doesn't hurt, but, man, it is a. Like, James Harrison said it best. James has two kids named James and Henry. And he said, if that happened to me, I'd come home. It was very funny. He said, I go home, and James and Henry look at me, and I'm like, hey, kids, clean your room like you, dad. You pussy. You're not. You don't do anything about. You let that man hit you on tv. And he's like, that's what he was most worried about. Even Joe Hayden, who's a skinny little cornerback, said, I know that dude wouldn't have hit me a second time. Yeah, it would have been over after the first one. Frank Kush, good. Jeremy just Frank Cush of asu.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, Frank Kush got in trouble. Legend Kush Field, for God's sakes. They named the field after the dude took a swing into. Dude, you can't do that. I think Woody hit a guy on another team once too. That didn't help him. But I mean, this kind of was like, ooh, did you see that Sunday? And by Tuesday everybody's like this, this is not good. Like, this has to be dealt with. And they're dealing with it with a fine. I'm not so sure. Fines fix things all the time. And I think once that check clears, then the NFL goes in and says, by the way, does DeMarcado want to press charges? And it's a work environment. Everybody keeps saying that. It's a business. It's a business, it's a work environment. So you can't have that.

[Brett]

Well, then we might as well fire him and bring in a single Gilbert mom to be the head coach now.

[John Holmberg]

So you're for the punch.

[Brett]

Goddamn, he deserved it. Being an idiot. And if, and if it was that big of a deal, then he should have jumped up there and, and jacked Gannon right back.

[John Holmberg]

And I wonder, I kind of, you know, hypothetically, again, this is what a chick would do. But here's what didn't happen. But what if, what if he'd have punched Gannon back mountain at that point, then everybody's out because Gannon gets fired if he punches him back. Because then you realize, oh, this, this alter, this got out of hand and he started it. You can't have a guy, you can't hit a subordinate with your closed fist. No matter what they're wearing armor, whatever. You having an angry punch into a guy, it's. This is. And you punch back and then, and then you run that risk.

[Brett]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

He knew DeMarcusato is not a great big name in the league, that if he got physical with a coach there, he's off the team. But if he defends himself from a coach. Exactly. Swinging, that would have been defense.

[Brett]

Yeah, there would have been no big deal.

[John Holmberg]

This one says, John, do we need to just start handing out participation trophies again for all these pussies?

[Brett]

Exactly.

[John Holmberg]

Press with you. I don't know, I'm torn. I like the old school mentality of a coach knocking somebody around. But a closed fist punch is different than grabbing a guy by the shoulder pads and shaking him, even smacking somebody in the helmet.

[Brett]

The guy gets sacked by 300 pound dudes all day long. He can't take a hit from 160 pound Gannon.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Gannon's pretty strong.

[Brett]

Okay, well, Whatever.

[John Holmberg]

And it was a nice hook. It was a nice hook, Brett. And good form. Twisted the hips. Come on. It was from the body. It wasn't an arm punch. It was a little loose. It was a little wobbly. You know, he's not a. He's not a fighter, but it was a little outside, but still he threw.

[Brett]

It's kind of a Glass Joe looking guy.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Here's the other thing. He has a little glass Joe. Here's the other thing, though. Gannon, if I were to argue against this, threw a punch to his body, knowing a punch to the head is bad and a punch to those pads gonna hurt my hand. So there's no arguing that he. Not only that, this wasn't just a loss of control swing at anything. It was a calculated thought. I. If I hit him here, it won't hurt. If I hit him in the head, I go to jail. If I hit him in the pads, my, my hand will break.

[Brett]

It's a wake up call.

[John Holmberg]

It was a. I don't wanna say it was premeditated, but it was definitely thought out for that second. Now, it was.

[Brett]

You would have too, at that point, right. After seeing that game just get out of hand.

[John Holmberg]

That's the danger. Right. But here's the thing that, you know, in a courtroom, they would say, so if you had time to think about where to punch me, had time to think about not punching him.

[Brett]

Yeah. So.

[John Holmberg]

So I like you. This is why I like. He's a football player. Yeah. This guy said it's John under his period. A ton of bitching about a dude who plays football for a living. Tell John to take a Midol and shut up. No, why can't we talk about. We talk about football all the time. Why can't we talk about when this happens? I know he's calling me a pussy because, you know, let your boss punch you in the stomach and see if you go, boo hoo. I mean, punch him back and take your chances. Yeah. People don't think about that. They always see the tape later and then hindsight it and go, I'd have done this or that or this. You don't realize it's going to be a viral moment. You don't even know if it's on tape. So the only thing that would be on tape. And in football, a lot of the times the penalty goes to the dude who reacts. That could hold true in his brain. In life too. A lot of times if he, if he'd have effed up Jonathan Gannon right there on the Sidelines. People would have been like, my God, the player went nuts and beat the coach up. And they're like, yeah, but the coach hit him first. I'm like, I didn't see that then. The dude's never going to work again. And you could have that happen at your work, too. Trip lays. Lays one into my stomach and I beat the tar of the old fella. Suddenly it's elder abuse. You know, I've got these five got. You know, he's got blood in his hair. He's wandering around. It's like, what did John do to Trips? Like, he hit me first. Like, oh, new. That's an deserve older man. And I'm like, oh, no.

[Brett]

Eye for an eye.

[John Holmberg]

I don't mind your. I don't mind your theory.

[Brett]

All those hits I took in the Marine Corps, who do I get to call and cry to?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. Wait, you were in the Marines?

[Brett]

Oh, I was going to say, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Mark, I was Semper 5, Brad. I had no idea. Thank you for your service. But yeah, all the punches you took in the Marine Corps, but they up the Marine Corps with this too.

[Brett]

The.

[John Holmberg]

You can get hit in the Marine Corps and they have.

[Brett]

And that's what's wrong with this world.

[John Holmberg]

That's right.

[Brett]

Ridiculous.

[John Holmberg]

Morehead, get bread up on a soapbox. He's got a. He's got a campaign to punch people more often at work.

[Brett]

Jp, what the F. John, stop being a puss. You puss. It's football.

[John Holmberg]

I am not saying, I don't know I'm against it. I'm saying you shouldn't do it in this world. In today's world, the smarter move is to not punch an employee. That's. That's just my point.

[Brett]

I think there's different rules for football.

[John Holmberg]

From a brain standpoint, no matter what. If there were different rules for football, it would happen more.

[Brett]

That should happen more. When you do something stupid like that.

[John Holmberg]

You're digging your heels and you should be an executive at Hubbard.

[Brett]

I'm Brady right now. Digging.

[Toledo]

Brady wouldn't take in on this.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. This one says, getting a little physical in a physical game, get off your period. I'm not saying I'm disagreeing with the physicality. I'm disagreeing only with the idea that it's dumb. Well, you might lose your job for it.

[Toledo]

Gannon came out, I think it was yesterday and said, not my best moment. No, I mean, he had to a little bit, but he's also time to reflect.

[John Holmberg]

Right. And that's what all people who've done something wrong. Do.

[Toledo]

And he didn't realize that there's cameras everywhere at every NFL game.

[John Holmberg]

He did realize a lot when he balled up his fist and said, don't hit him in the chest. Don't hit him in the head. That's true. There was a split second of thinking again, do I wish Coach Tomlin would have punched what's my Johnson? The new rookie that just let the ball bounce in the end zone against the Seahawks. And I'm like, are you kidding me? Caleb Johnson is the name. And he just let him kickoff go into the end zone. He stood and watched it. And Seahawks picked it up like, that's a touchdown. Cause like an onside, you went 10 yards and also had the new rules. It followed like, five rules. This ball. And they would. I like Tomlin to go over and punch him in the nose. Oh, 100%. We all were wanting to punch the television, but, you know, you can't. Or it would. It would happen every week. If it was okay. It should.

[Toledo]

I think.

[John Holmberg]

I don't. I'm not against it. I'm not against coaches getting physical players. But the risk you run is like what James Harrison said. Dude punches me like that. This is not a coach player situation. I'll lose my job.

[Brett]

Well, then. Then there you go.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but that's why you can't have that. Could you imagine how many times Bears melees would have gotten? People getting fired and cut and all Hebrew flues.

[Brett]

He would have got his.

[John Holmberg]

He would have gotten beat up and. Good, good. Imagine that.

[Toledo]

He'd be like Hawking we were looking at yesterday.

[Brett]

I would hope it would be worse.

[John Holmberg]

Than that the next time you'd have seen him. They probably shouldn't have hit my employees, but, yeah, it would have been bad.

[Toledo]

I think Gannon actually had a sense of the cameras being all around him, which is why he kept his punch low to the gut.

[John Holmberg]

I think he just lost his mind for a second and regained consciousness while he was punching. Like, don't hit him in the pads. Don't hit him in the head. Just enough thoughts.

[Toledo]

Well, now somebody. Somebody brought up. I think it was on text. Somebody said, no. What happens if he comes over and was talking to him angrily with his finger and then slaps him on the helmet? Like is common in football. Like just kind of says, all right, let's go, or whatever.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Hit a guy in the helmet real quick with an open hand. You're like, come on. That's seemingly acceptable physicality, but of course says two things. Smack bird upside his head and see what happens in the room. And two, what have you learned in tactical black? Very true. Deescalate, which got to have D. Markado was like, all right, I'm. I want to kill that man for this, or did he just punch me in the stomach? But I also know that the better situation in that is there's no more threat. It's no longer anything. I want to keep going and. And let him. Let him eat it. I just. I'm not saying I'm for Gannon's firing, but I'm saying, man, it's on the table now, and this is not going to get better before it gets worse. If it goes away, I'll be surprised.

[Toledo]

Well, we all know Brett concealed carries, so the slap to the head to Brett probably isn't going to happen in this room unless there's a last boy sc.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it could be pretty fun, though.

[Brett]

Well, let's just start playing flag football then for you pussies out there. Done.

[John Holmberg]

This guy says, at least it was just a punch. Imagine if the Cardinals had hired Mark Sanchez as their coach. Yeah, that's true. Sanchez would have just knifed the dude. That's very true. Ronnie Sears. Excellent point.

[Brett]

By the way, that Instagram post you said or sent to us yesterday with Sanchez throwing knives.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And they've. Now Mark Sanchez is becoming kind of a joke. Yeah. Yeah, it's the. The smartest thing. I agree with Kyle. Just the smartest thing DeMarco can do is just shut up. If he bitches or complains, he's never going to play again. He'll become a problem.

[Brett]

This will be interesting.

[Toledo]

Well, he'll become a problem for whatever team takes him on, too.

[John Holmberg]

It will be interesting.

[Toledo]

I'm more playing in Dale's indoor football league.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Sean Rockefeller, blind listener, says, I didn't see anything. Didn't look too bad to me. What's the problem?

[Brett]

That's true. Blind.

[John Holmberg]

Blind people see.

[Brett]

Listen to Sean.

[John Holmberg]

Sean needs to be. We have witness. His name is Sean Rockefeller. I didn't see nothing. I don't know. I heard a goo and that was it. Yeah, I'm. I'm. I'm fascinated by the entire thing. I'll take you guys calling me. This guy says it's quote the subject says, signed John Holmberg. It's perfectly acceptable to take a crucial game moment and throw it in the cat crap box, then become confused when your coach loses his sanity. Sign John Holbrook. No, it's all in good humor. I get you, jb. You're Good. Yeah, it's very. It's. Look, I don't know what I'd have done if Tripp punches me. I know for a fact after I giggle because it's going to get like. Like he poked a Pillsbury Doughboy. I can't imagine his. His swing has much sting. Less. Let's go higher.

[Toledo]

What if Jenny came in and give you a little sock to the solar plexus?

[John Holmberg]

I moped floors with her. Jenny, our owner, mop the floors with her. She takes a swing at me, even if she just look in tactical black. This sounds arrogant. It's. If I see you cock your hand back, I'm coming in with a jab, right?

[Toledo]

You're neutralizing the threat.

[John Holmberg]

If I'm cornered by our owner, Jenny, and I don't see an escape route, and I can't de escalate situation. I watch your baller. Little hand up and it goes back like it's coming in. She's taken two in the face with the left because I don't think she's trained. Now she might go low and take me to the ground. Oh, but then I'm just.

[Toledo]

Don't give up your back.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna heel hook her. I'm gonna maim her.

[Brett]

So if Jenny Cannon comes in on you or Jenny Gannon.

[John Holmberg]

Jenny Gannon comes and throws a bomb to the stomach, there's just gonna be blood. And Jenny.

[Toledo]

There you go.

[John Holmberg]

There you go. I'm not suing anybody. I'm taking her right in front of you boys. And you know what it would be to the like? At first, it'll be like one of those 80s movies where everybody's just in horror. But then after I get up and her heart's in my mouth and I'm just standing around and everybody's like, what just happened? That one lone person, it'll be tripped, too.

[Toledo]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Just slow clapping.

[Toledo]

I was gonna say, are. Are we okay if we film or are we expected to intervene?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it would be great, too, because it would be like the mat. All of her Bobs would. Yeah, all of her bobs would try to jump in, and they'd just be flying through the air because I'm in a rage. So I'd take out all the Hubbard Bobs and then just mop the floors with her. You ask. So I'm just giving my scenario. I don't believe that Jenny's gonna hit me or attack me, but I'm saying just for the laughs. Again, if your owner punches you in the stomach at work today, all These people calling me a pussy. It's football. That wasn't football. It was on the sidelines. That wasn't football anymore. You can't punch a guy on the football field. You get kicked out of the game. Okay, but you can't.

[Brett]

It's a man sport.

[John Holmberg]

But. But it's.

[Brett]

If you know you're going to get a tattoo of a WNBA or Mercury thing here soon because this. This is turning into effective. See that?

[John Holmberg]

I wore my son's stuff today for Merc Night. I don't have any merchandise. The. So if. The. If a dude walks up to Caleb Williams and just slugs him on the field, you're not going to go, where's the flag?

[Brett]

If he deserves it, he deserves it. Oh, you mean on the opposite team. That's what I' different football.

[John Holmberg]

There we go.

[Brett]

Something different.

[John Holmberg]

Football fans are such deep down. It's like McCoy goes the trans interference.

[Brett]

No, no, no, no.

[John Holmberg]

He hooked him.

[Toledo]

Just admitted.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we cry like Caleb Williams punched on the field.

[Brett]

His boys to go over and beat the hell out of that guy. That's a fair. You're goddamn right.

[John Holmberg]

Kick that out of the game.

[Brett]

That's what I'm saying.

[Toledo]

Olin Kreutz defended his quarterback a couple of times.

[John Holmberg]

You punch a guy on the field, you're kicked out. The coach punching on the sidelines. There's ramifications for that, and they're big.

[Brett]

Not when you deserve it.

[John Holmberg]

I agree. You can still deserve the punch, but there's ramifications. It's like free speech, Brett. You're free to say it.

[Brett]

Absolutely.

[John Holmberg]

There's consequences.

[Brett]

100%.

[Toledo]

Even deep down, you know, as much as you're digging in your heels, you know that this is the right way to handle this.

[John Holmberg]

He knows what you know. He just went what? Yeah, exactly. Whoa. Like he's watching a porn. If you play football, you're going to get hit. Go play flag football, you sissy bitch boy.

[Brett]

There you go.

[John Holmberg]

All right. But.

[Toledo]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what team you cheer for, Matthew, but I know for a.

[Toledo]

Fact exactly if your team.

[John Holmberg]

He punched him. The guy needs to get kicked out of the league. You should be kicked out of the league. That's what all. If it happens to your team and that's on the field.

[Toledo]

Even as much as you hate Kyler, if he goes down like that, you're. You're bitching for the foul.

[John Holmberg]

I'd had no problem. The dude just laid. Laid out Gannon right there.

[Brett]

I'm not saying that's wrong either.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, that would have been correct. That would have been absolutely.

[Brett]

No, I'm not.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but when. And I never understood a player that takes a swing at a dude in a helmet. Dale and I talk about that all the time. It's like he's like, I prayed for dudes to get mad enough to take a swing at my helmet. They'll break their hands. It's just. I don't get it. But you're still getting kicked out. And nobody goes, these are. They're like, that guy deserves. You punch a guy and everybody's saying, oh, it's just football. It's football. All right, well, that's why there's no punching.

[Toledo]

Right?

[John Holmberg]

Is because it would constantly be a braw.

[Toledo]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That wrecked the game. I'm not saying I didn't enjoy the hell out of it. This guy says, f. That your plan's dumb. Boss punches me, I'm taking a soccer dive and screaming for hours, and I'm gonna sue the hell out of everybody. Yeah, that's probably a better way of mopping the floors with Jenny. But here's the thing. If you're off a red card, if Jenny, the owner, punched me, and I mopped the floors with her, but I. I knew for sure I had backup of people saying they saw her punch me.

[Toledo]

You need to make sure that then.

[John Holmberg]

I can also sue. So I get the satisfaction of mopp floors with the owner and suing them. And they got deep pockets. So a billionaire punching you in the tummy is, like, the greatest because you can crush them now and then sue them. Would you.

[Brett]

In.

[Toledo]

In this day and age, would you take the first punch to look around and. And then say, all right, everybody's watching. And then.

[John Holmberg]

No, because then you're go.

[Toledo]

Go her into a second punch.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, I might. I might. I might do the Muhammad Ali George Foreman. Is that all you got, old lady? And just piss her off to heaven? Just rear back and throw another one, and then it's a melee. I don't know how this happened, but here we are. Jesus Christ. Brock gets his ass viciously beat up every night. And this. And pads can't take a jab from a coach. That's right. Barack Obama is nightly raped by his wife. Big Mike. Big Mike. Thank you, David. Somehow or another, Obama snuck into the conversation, and it's a legitimate argument.

[Brett]

Like Obama getting his butt.

[John Holmberg]

Obama might be the toughest dude in America. Call yourself the. Yeah, yeah. He might be the Republicans will hate here. And that might be the toughest man in America. The things he goes through for fun. Bloomberg's morning sickness, Medicaid. Can you.

[Brett]

Hey, Byron, I heard you have something new to announce from MMP Guns, Brett?

[Byron]

I sure do. It's MMP Guns. Customs MMP Guns is creating some amazing firearms. We offer polishing, plating, bluing, custom laser engraving, laser stippling, cerakoting and performance upgrades. We do everything in house with our master trained craftsmen. You can select our designs or make up your own.

[Brett]

Well, can you do this to my gun?

[Byron]

We can do it to nearly any firearm. Doesn't matter where you live, you can ship it to us or. We already have completed firearms in inventory daily with no wait.

[Brett]

Well, there you have it. MMP Guns on the northeast corner of 12th street and Indian School or online at mmpgunscupcustoms.com Homeburg's Morning Sickness.

[John Holmberg]

This one says Israel. I like piling on. You guys make me laugh. Hey, Homeberg, is your soccer jersey size a large? Since you became a pussy today, I'm gonna get you a. Thanks. That's funny. All right. And this guy's right to demarcato. Should thank Gannon. Gannon hitting him probably saved his job. They can't cut him now. He gets another chance. He gets to be on the team. He gets a check. Probably would have been the end of his career otherwise. That's an excellent point.

[Toledo]

Getting any carries.

[John Holmberg]

That punch kept him around. That's. Yeah.

[Toledo]

I mean, it's. You call it quiet quitting or whatever. He's going to sit on the bench. He ain't getting in the game.

[John Holmberg]

Jim Lord is a pussy like me, evidently goes, you know, that's my team. If I hit an employee, I lose everything I've ever worked for. You can't hit people at work.

[Toledo]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

I agree. When sue stopped on that packers player in 2011, I argued he lost his balance as he was with the Lions. And this guy's a Lions fan because he was just losing his balance when someone kicked Stafford. I wanted his head on a pike. Yeah. His family out on the streets. It's.

[Toledo]

Yeah, you only Domicon sued it again with the Dolphins. Everybody went, see.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. This one says, I actually like that. Gannon chewed the dude the F out. Basically because he cost us the game on a 75 yard one. What we should be talking about is how effing soft Bidwell is for finding him. For aggressively holding Demarcato accountable. Yeah, the punch, it changes everything.

[Brett]

Was a big well to find them or is it the NFL? That part, I think.

[John Holmberg]

The NFL.

[Toledo]

Well, the NFL Players association is Involved. They're investigating. I don't know what there is to investigate. They're investigating.

[John Holmberg]

Remember though, when Bruce Arians for the Bucks? I don't know. He didn't even hit the guy just kind of swiped across his helmet and got a $50,000 fine. Because they're, they're very careful about coaches make putting what James Harrison said. Do not put your hands on me. Because you're not talking about the physicality of it. You're talking about the demoralization of a man.

[Toledo]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

And these dudes are amped up alpha males. So you're not. You put your hands on a dude in an alter. Like when you're supposed to be on the same team, suddenly it's different. You don't. It's like a woman at that point. You do not put your hands on them. It's bad. I'm not you. Ah, you mother almost made me call you a bunch of Tom Brennamans.

[Toledo]

Well, let's put it.

[John Holmberg]

You Tom Brennamans out there can suck it.

[Toledo]

If Calais Campbell picks up a fumble and runs it back and drops it at the one yard line, is punching his six foot eight.

[John Holmberg]

Like what? Harrison said, coach does that to me, I'm losing my job. Like. And Joe Hayden said, nobody's doing that to you.

[Toledo]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

Joe Hayden is a mini man. He might have had it happen to him. It's a good. It's an interesting. It's an interesting, like, dilemma that maybe will just go away. But I. After the fine yesterday, I don't think it goes away. All these old players come out now that the. Now that the video has kind of gotten everywhere because it's a Cardinal game. No one was watching the Cardinals and Titans outside of Cardinal fans. No one.

[Brett]

Kyler was happy about this.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah, this takes the heat. Marvin Harrison. Marvin Harrison would have dropped the punch.

[Toledo]

A hike bouncing off his face mask and then him just kind of dirt in a ball that was. There was nobody in the roof.

[John Holmberg]

If this isn't about Kyler's poor performance. They were up 21 to 6, but this thing fell apart.

[Brett]

I mean, in general with the dog thing. Everything that's going on with Kyler right now takes the attention off of him.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it does for a minute. But to your point, this.

[Toledo]

This kind of stains Gannon too. Like, if they fire completely. I mean, he's a good coordinator completely. Bringing somebody else in. It's like, what's his name for the Saints? He was. He sat down for a while after that whole investigation for the super bowl.

[John Holmberg]

And you go back to that Cardinal fans, the bounty gate. That happened in New Orleans.

[Toledo]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

I remember some Cardinal fans going, the coach never coached again. This is football. It isn't some sort of weird street. Okay, funny. Here we go. When Kurt Warner got laid out, and they paid him 50 grand to hurt.

[Toledo]

Laid out month.

[John Holmberg]

Multiple times. Well, that. With that game. Then they knocked him out of the game. And you get. You get a reward from your coach back then for the Saints when he would do that. What's his name? Greg something. Yeah. I don't remember.

[Toledo]

Williams.

[John Holmberg]

Greg Williams. That's it. Yeah. And he was the one who was paying the bounty for knocking dudes out of games.

[Toledo]

And then he took a job in Cleveland and he couldn't really recover.

[John Holmberg]

No. Eventually, that one hits. But, you know, I don't remember a whole lot of these. You know, if I'd have said, yeah, man, that's the way the game's played. It's physical. If you get hurt, you get hurt. People.

[Brett]

You can't do.

[John Holmberg]

You can't go trying to hurt people. Oh, okay. I'm the pussy. Yeah. 100 grand, though. That's a pretty. The Cardinals. That's. This one said Adam Schefter said the Cardinals are firing Jonathan Gannon.

[Toledo]

So finding. Not firing.

[John Holmberg]

Right. Finding. Finding.

[Toledo]

Oh, okay, just clarify.

[John Holmberg]

Finding 100 grand for his altercation. Oh, it's a weird one. It's. It's a weird one.

[Brett]

Didn't Bidwell get his ass beat by his wife, or was that somebody else in the bid?

[John Holmberg]

Well, one of the Bidwells did. He was. Remember, he was drunk at a. Like, a fourth of July party, and his wife beat the tar out of him inside the house. And he stood in the. He stood in his cul de sac.

[Toledo]

And the cops don't call anybody. I'm not giving you my name.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he's. At first, he wouldn't.

[Toledo]

We have to. Do we have to talk about who.

[John Holmberg]

I'm. Todd Bidwell.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

No one knows about me when I'm pretty much living off my.

[Toledo]

I'm the black sheep.

[John Holmberg]

I don't really know anything about football. I'm kind of. I like the ballet. I remember his name, but he got knocked around.

[Brett]

This one went to you. Can you imagine if Pete Carroll punched Geno Smith after one of those 524 picks?

[Toledo]

This year's having a bad year.

[John Holmberg]

Good. John is definitely the mommy of the show now. You can't hit. And then Brett says, shut up, broad. Whoop his ass. Thank you, Brett, for being the only one who Let your nuts hang. That's right. If that's what your nuts hanging means. Okay. Swing loo.

[Toledo]

Never thought I'd come full circle. And you're a Gilbert mom now.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I'm a Gilbert mom now. I can't believe it. Poor little kids. These goons on the sidelines. Gannon's a goon. Jonathan Goonan. That's funny. I stand by what I say despite your terrible behavior. And by the way, you've hurt my feelings. And that just makes me. That just makes me emotional. I'm calling Mark Curtis and Troy Hayden. I'm going to be on the news. We're having a. We're having a city hall about this.

[Toledo]

What shoes are you going to wear?

[John Holmberg]

I'm going to wear nice ones. I'll probably have my new. I do have a new pair of LeBron's, and I'm not a big LeBron fool. I bought some LeBrons because they're the design. They're Jordan LeBron's, but they're very cool.

[Brett]

Oh, man.

[John Holmberg]

I will say this, though. When you buy the new LeBron's and their cool design, their structure of how they do the laces, within a day broke. They have these. Yeah. So I was like, ah, typical LeBron. Let me down again. But they look good. I might wear those on TV because they're new. All the other Gilbert moms be like, oh, I've got to get a pair of those. That'll be the envy of all Gilbert. I have a new idea, too. You want to be famous and you don't. You want to be infamous? Actually, no. You'll be famous, but you don't. Like, I'm trying to find ways, like, all these people are trying to do something loud and stupid and then get their names out there. You know, it started with, you know, infamy has been around for a long time. People try to do that. I just figured out as this headline crossed my phone this morning. Phoenix drag performer accused of sexual conduct. What child he met online. He's gonna be on Fox News every day. And his name's gonna be synonymous with this. It's a terrible crime. But if you wanted to get your name, you want a little fame, and you will be on the news every day. If you dress in drag and commit a crime, not something as awful as that, but go out and rob a Walgreens and then start screaming something crazy inside the Walgreens and then giggle your way through this. Like, you only take like $400 worth of stuff dressed as a woman and Fox News will have you for months on there. Who remember that lady in Phoenix or that man in front of that thing. They'll lose their mind. Your name will all be out. So if you're looking, if you're nuts, I'm trying to help people who are nuts. If you're nuts and you want fame, dress and drag and do something dumb. That's all you have to do because Fox News loves that. I watched them for two hours yesterday, had it on the background while I was doing some stuff. And all they talk about is drag queens and inner city crime. It's like if you watch, if you watched Fox for more than a 30 minutes, minutes, you get information you'd buy. In two hours you're just sitting there going, I'm not going outside ever again. It was the most fear based stuff I've ever watched in my life. Then it turned into Bad Bunny and he's a transvestite and they lost their mind over him. And they just then. And look, I'm not political. And people always go, you're a dem, you're a, you're a Republican. I mean, we have somebody in this building who's, you know, said, my wife has a problem listening because you're so right wing. And I'm like, man, let me ask this question to Republic. What is wrong with you that Bad Bunny can't be at the halftime show? He hates America. Like you don't know that for sure. He didn't come here because he doesn't like the ice thing. He's also American. Do we not know that? Puerto Rico. And they asked Eric Dickerson because he said he shouldn't do it. If he hates America so much, he should go. And they told him, you know, Puerto Rico's America. He goes, yeah, no, Puerto Rico's America, but it's not the America. And I'm like, well, yeah, it is our stepson, but it's still ours. And so he's American. He's not going to get deported. Whoopi Goldberg goes on and starts saying, talk with an accent and get a tan and go hang around the super bowl and see if ice bothers you. And that's kind of funny to me because it is. We've lost our minds. The super bowl performer is now got people hinging on whether or not they can tolerate football ever again. Who cares? I didn't want Lady Gaga to do the halftime show. I have no idea if Maroon 5 hates America behind the scenes. When did we get to this point? And they started in with the trans Thing. And I realized at that moment, all you have to do to be on TV every single day and have your name in lights and you don't have to hurt a soul is to dress in drag and do something dumb once. That's it. Dress up like a woman. Go out and knock an old lady down. And then. And then, you know, quietly help her up. Turn the video off. Are you knocking her down? And then help her up, say, sorry about that, give her 50 bucks and walk away. But that video gets sent out. You're never going to stop seeing it. They love when trans people say or do anything goofy. And you would think the streets are crawling with trans people committing crimes.

[Toledo]

I found it hysteric when it really blow their minds. Start talking about Kim Petrus doing that.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. What would they do if Kim Pet.

[Brett]

Why Those cans in HD and the 75 inch I watch, I jerk off.

[John Holmberg]

To it and it would dry. And Republicans hate that. You gay. Like, no, I'm not having sex with its butt entertainment. I like that lady's cans a lot now. Her reconstructed vagina sends me into another stratosphere of, like, confusion and not knowing. But I bought him out. There you go.

[Brett]

Bottom out.

[John Holmberg]

Yep. So long as I would be like, it looks real. I. I feel the same way about, like a kit car. Is that a Ferrari? No, it's a kit car. It looks real. I think I want in it. Same with Kimpetz.

[Toledo]

What if it looks like that exploding cigar we saw yesterday in Brett's video?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, the vagina. Yeah. Then the doctors did a terrible job. But doctors do terrible jobs on boobs sometimes. Some people get those double boobs. They get weird boob on top of boob. It's not a. It's. And they look real in clothes.

[Toledo]

The little balloon wrinkles.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what that is. Yeah, they gotta figure that out. Like science has gotten. It has to advance to the point where we don't get that wrinkle skin and boobs of the double bubble and. Doesn't make sense. But yeah, just dress in drag and do something stupid and you'll be on TV all day long. I don't understand why Republicans lose and run. Yesterday, the speaker of the House, Mike Johnson. All that's going on was talking about bad Bunny at halftime and then suggested because his fingers on the pulse, maybe Lee Greenwood should do it. What? What kind of halftime show would that be for the masses? He said, we need somebody who's got more mass appeal. Well, you saw like Lee Greenwood, dude, that's One song. Because that's all he's got. And what's massive.

[Brett]

I see another song.

[John Holmberg]

He doesn't have one.

[Toledo]

He does, but they're.

[John Holmberg]

No, he doesn't.

[Toledo]

They're all faded.

[John Holmberg]

No, he doesn't. He doesn't have another song anybody would hear and go, oh, this is mass appeal. Awesome. What about that? He's like, if you want mass appeal, maybe we should go to Lee Greenwood for the halftime show. Okay, maybe before the thing. But when he sings, it's at a Trump rally. It's never to a crew of, like, everybody.

[Toledo]

The song was recorded in 1982. He doesn't sound like this now.

[John Holmberg]

It doesn't matter if he's good or not. What are you thinking? Go fix the shutdown. You're worried about Bad Bunny at halftime. And I watched. It was 35 minutes. We have no air traffic controllers.

[Toledo]

That's the thing.

[John Holmberg]

At first. And I know you're gonna email me. Well, the Democrats. I know it's both of them. They're both stupid as f. Completely stupid. And we're arguing about Bad Bunny at halftime.

[Toledo]

Enjoy flying into Burbank with San Diego controlling your plane.

[John Holmberg]

I don't want. I'm not getting on one right now. Because if the air traffic controllers are the last people you want to piss off and they're calling in sick to work because they're not getting paid, they're like, well, if I'm not getting paid, I'm not a doordash and stuff right now.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And so you got, like, a group of dudes who aren't real happy that are still going in because just out of loyalty, eventually there's going to be an effort moment. Right. It's crazy.

[Brett]

This Bad Bunny thing's ridiculous. Like, I've always said, vote with your dollar. You don't like it, change the goddamn station. They will send the NFL a message.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. You know, turn your TV off. And by the way, you have to be a Nielsen family Ford to matter.

[Brett]

It's already done. They're not going to change it because they love it.

[John Holmberg]

The NFL loves this. Fox has given them all this, like, Bad Bunny press. And people are going to be. We are right now. Exactly. But people are going to be like, what is this about? All the old people that didn't know what Bad Bunny was. Like, my friend's dad comes to my Steelers games. He's 80 something. His name's Skip. Well, we got some sort of up there for halftime. He'll watch and go, this here. Look at him in his clothes, like It'll his hate will feel.

[Brett]

His son too.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, his son. Yeah, the whole family is built.

[Toledo]

What'd they say about Usher this last year?

[John Holmberg]

It's in their blood. Oh, when? When the weekend was on. Chris is the. Every year they announce who's on the halftime show, my friend Chris goes, well, Metallica ever get a shot like. No, they won't. They're 60 year old men who appeal to 50 year old men. They're not mainstream anymore. They're a classic band that maybe gets a piece, but they're never going to headline.

[Brett]

Disagree.

[Toledo]

They're Mata Hoople for our generation.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's digging. Oh my God. You. I'm on Chris's side. They're not Mottah Hoople. All the young dude. Do you think 30 years ago anybody's going, mott the Hoople should do halftime because it's similar. Metallica's bigger than Motta Hoople.

[Brett]

All the young.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, all the young dudes is always like, Mike Johnson would love it. Lee Greenwood, Little Mat the Hoople. I mean, what are we waiting for? It shows how out of touch they are that we're mad about Bad Bunny because dudes in a dress. But that's not new David Bowie. I mean, this, this dude. This isn't a bad song.

[Brett]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

You don't like Montau? This is a cool song. David Bowie wrote this.

[Toledo]

Let him sing it then.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not sure if that's Mott or the Hoople singing, but yeah, it's a little strange voice. I like this very Bowie. You don't like this? So I don't want to hear it at halftime.

[Brett]

No, I don't want to hear it now.

[John Holmberg]

And it's singing about being gay, I think, because all the young dudes.

[Brett]

Definitely would be a Bowie.

[John Holmberg]

It's a. It's a Bowie. Yeah. Either way, I don't know how you compared Metallica to Monta Hoop. You pissed me off.

[Brett]

That's a Toledo thing. I didn't do that.

[John Holmberg]

Complete Toledo dick move. Yeah, I. I don't know. It's just. It's one of those things where I just watched yesterday and I'm like, this is why people have lost their minds. This is why everybody's goofy is because if you spend. Why is that doubling up?

[Brett]

What's that noise?

[Toledo]

It's doubled up.

[John Holmberg]

Nothing's playing. Okay, this. This place is haunted. I just turned everything off. And here we go.

[Brett]

Scanning that computer.

[John Holmberg]

You know what I might scan in this thing, but I'm at work and the smart thing to do is to not punch it. Although I do punch a lot of electronics. Yes. And then get accused of it. Did you punch that? No. Did you punch that and wreck that? It was broken. No.

[Toledo]

Innocent until proven guilty.

[John Holmberg]

Do you have film of it? No, we don't cameras in here. No, of course I didn't punch that. Anywho.

[Toledo]

So it's got a divot in it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. No, I don't know how that. I must have leaned on it. I'm pretty heavy.

[Brett]

I blame Sean Knight.

[John Holmberg]

I think Brady stumbled in here and sat down on the Any. It's bruh.

[Toledo]

I like Brett's idea.

[John Holmberg]

It's Bruh. Sean Knight did it. Yeah. Blame his subordinate. What? Why am I. Why am I losing my job? Shouldn't have punched the board. What? Shut up, Sean.

[Brett]

Get out.

[John Holmberg]

Anyway, the message I was having here is, stop watching your favorite thing, Republican or Democrat, for hours on end. Because, man, it's easy to fall in line and just go, are there that many transvestites? Fox had me wondering, and I wasn't even watching. It was just on in the background. I'm like, is there that many transvestites? And it's a damn rain delay.

[Toledo]

You're looking at your neighbors a little different.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I do. They're up to something. They're trying to indoctrinate me. And if I also. I don't understand that. It's like they're gonna make our kids gay. I'm like, I don't know. Like, you should have more of an influence over your kids than Bad Bunny's halftime show.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And if Bad Bunny's halftime show makes your kid gay. He was gay. Yeah. I just don't get it. Speaking of gay, I guess the weather. The weather's nice enough to be prideful now.

[Toledo]

Oh, have you seen it look like Pride threw up downstairs.

[Brett]

Oh, I missed it.

[John Holmberg]

There's.

[Toledo]

Evidently there's an area of the downstairs that is getting ready for next weekend.

[Brett]

Oh, is that the parade again?

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Oh, Jesus.

[John Holmberg]

And they are getting ready. Well, I mean, but the problem I have with it, and I laugh, is that you can't be prideful when it's hot. June is gay pride month, and that's when all the parades happen everywhere else. We wait here till October. We. We. We move it. It's retroactive pride. You can't be pride when it's 105. It's like, I'm not that proud. Right.

[Toledo]

What do we do in June? See us in October.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. They basically are like, not here. We're not proud until around Halloween. And so downstairs, it's just because Katie KB has just become the single gayest thing ever. And even gay people are like, guys, you're pushing it. It's a little far.

[Toledo]

Well, wait till you see what they've got planned for next weekend.

[John Holmberg]

The rainbow flags in this building are everywhere. And you can't, like, here they come.

[Toledo]

So you know how we have boxes of our bandanas, right?

[John Holmberg]

It's all gay flags.

[Toledo]

Triple of that are gay flags downstairs.

[John Holmberg]

Which I'm all fine with them, but man, oh, man, I say this to the gays, and as a platinum member of your club has never been abused, but would do it mainly because women don't make as much money as men. So it's appealing to me to have a dollar for dollar situation going on. The. The economics of homosexuality a lot better than heterosexuality. Plus, I think two men getting a divorce wouldn't be, where's mine? I think they're both like, I got some, you got some. Let's just get out of it.

[Toledo]

What do you do with the tv?

[John Holmberg]

That's about what it'll be pretty much like. Well, there's multiple TVs in a man's house. So you'd split and both guys would be like, well, I earn a dollar for a dollar and you earn a dollar for a dollar. Women would be like, I get half. I don't know that gays do that as much. I've seen some gay divorce, and I don't think they. They didn't fight for half as hard. They just left. And then I think they still blew each other because they're dudes. Like, I'll blow you one last time. I'll even angry blow you, but I definitely want one of those either way. Yeah, it's getting crazy down there with this. And if you're gonna have a pride month, it has to be every. Like, you can't. You can't move it. So gays of Phoenix, you live in Phoenix. Pride is in June. You're proud in the heat. Now take your pride parade right to the W hotel pool or something like that. Or, you know, rent it out. But you can't move pride and close streets. In October when I want to be outside, that's all they're doing. They just want to be in heterosexuals way to show how proud they are. And I'm proud that you're proud. That's good for you. But pride month is in June, and if you're really prideful, I saw a Couple of Pride parades. Back in June, on tv, there were rain and not men. This time it was rain and rain. You have to do pride when they say pride. And Phoenix is like, no, it's too hot to be proud. We'll do it in October. No. Nope. You can't clog up the streets when we all want to be outside.

[Brett]

So it's prideful when it's convenient.

[John Holmberg]

Yes. Convenient. Pride. Convenient. Pride is not the answer. Be proud up in June. March inside like they do the farmer's market. They take it right inside. On Wednesdays and Saturdays, it goes indoors because it's too hot to be outside.

[Toledo]

Take over the madhouse on McDowell. Let them walk laps in that.

[John Holmberg]

Yes. Call All Pro Shade walking in your own. Call All Pro Shade and Shade Central Avenue and March in June. But your Pride Month is June. If I go down Central for the next two weeks in my neighborhood, I have got to be up there and I have to divert. Or I've got signs closing streets that I got to end up on 10th street and go around Thomas and go back just to go to the Windsor to have a gay hamburger. I want a goddamn Pride Month. When it's Pride Month, don't surprise people.

[Toledo]

Is it only on Central?

[John Holmberg]

The parade? No, they're everywhere. But Central's a big one. And October, old heterosexuals drive around. What the hell these roads closed for? You're surprising the straight old people.

[Toledo]

That's right.

[John Holmberg]

And you're gonna make people come into town. You're gonna make them not to cause more trouble.

[Toledo]

Don't think Mesa has a parade.

[John Holmberg]

Yes, they do. Everyone has one.

[Toledo]

I think they do.

[Brett]

Downtown, I'm pretty sure.

[John Holmberg]

But this one says, maybe the smell of gays in June keeps gays away from each other. If the swamp balls, I don't care. You guys, as a group, pick June as your Pride Month. Be proud in June. Be proud every day, but no parade.

[Toledo]

But still, it's not like they leave Phoenix in June. You're used to the heat in June. Mitigate.

[John Holmberg]

Yes. You live here. You chose to live here. This is where pride happens for you. Palm Springs didn't move it. Hot there, too.

[Toledo]

Really?

[John Holmberg]

No. Vegas has Pride stuff in June because they got a lot of pools, right?

[Brett]

I hand it to Mesa. Do it in June. Hey, they actually did it in June.

[John Holmberg]

At night. Yeah. They're gonna do another one. Well, I'm sure they will, but anyway. Gays.

[Toledo]

DJ Pooty Cat.

[John Holmberg]

Look. That's right there.

[Brett]

They're having a plant sale.

[John Holmberg]

You just sold two tickets.

[Toledo]

I know.

[John Holmberg]

I'm going to DJ Pooty Cat.

[Toledo]

Right?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. I can just.

[Toledo]

My empanadas.

[John Holmberg]

Empanadas and Pooty Cat. Forget it. Yeah, I just. In your mind when you hear DJ Pooty Cat, you picture him. Yes. And he is rainbow bright. He's rainbow bright in a big hat and like weird helmet under his hat that has goggles that are rainbow tinted and like glitter shoots off of him. And occasionally that thing, that thing from NBC that looks like the more, you know, star that goes through the sky just all around him at all times. DJ Pooty Cat is. He's on my. I'm going to Apple after the. During the break. I'm going to Apple, check out Pooty Cat. Anyway, Dave, don't muck up traffic for your pride because it's convenient. It's inconvenient for us for you to be prideful when the weather's nice.

[Toledo]

Stop being prideful.

[John Holmberg]

Stop it. You live in Phoenix. Pride isn't in October. Yeah, yeah. Be prideful in October. But no street closures.

[Brett]

I think that's DJ Pooty Cat.

[John Holmberg]

That's DJ Pooty Cat. That's a fella.

[Toledo]

Not what I expected.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what that is. DJ Pooty Cat's got it together.

[Toledo]

Booty cats mix and mingle.

[John Holmberg]

All right, watch Pooty Cat one of these days. It's a lazy lady. I. I was really wrong about what DJ Pooty Cat looked like. That's DJ Pooty Cat talking. This day is celebrating his one year anniversary. She's doing a promotion for some club. She's Booty Cat, Matt. All right. Anyway, let's get a wake up song, shall we? A good one. And we'll scream it together. It's 98k if he wake up. It's not weird.

[Toledo]

It's pretty cool actually. No membership fee.

[John Holmberg]

I have heard enough of this.

[Brett]

We're here with Byron from MMP Guns. Byron, why should someone choose to go to MMP Guns?

[Byron]

The choice is simple, Bret. M and P Guns is your one stop shop for all your shooting needs. We offer Arizona's largest selection handguns, rifles, shotguns, new and pre owned. We also have a large selection of ammunition, accessories and even training. In fact, right now all pre owned firearms are 20% off. All new firearms are 10% off. And we have ammo, ink, 9mm hollow points for only $12.99 a box and much more.

[Brett]

Well, it sounds like M and P Guns is committed to providing the customers with the best possible service and selection.

[Byron]

That's a fact. You can visit us at the store at northeast corner of 12th street in Indian School or [e-mail].

[John Holmberg]

Morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here.

[Brett]

Come on.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. Great job by Brett and Toledo after yesterday's mishap of not printing out all the stuff they needed to print. Matt scramble just happened as Brett remembered, without Toledo's prompting at all, which was, what did I say yesterday? That is your job to make sure all the things are. No, didn't want to think about it.

[Brett]

Kept us right on time.

[John Holmberg]

Said John. My son asked me this morning when you were talking about gay pride, what is a pride flag? And I told him, all you have to do is look at a guy who loves the Pittsburgh steelers house, and when he has a flag over it, that's it. Now, you son of a. You son of a. Matthew, that's indoctrination. Now this one says, bad bunny, good bunny, homo, F word bunny. I don't care. Just don't let the chiefs back in the super bowl. Yeah, I could see that one. I don't. I don't hate the chiefs, but enough's enough. And we've got some stuff to talk about today that is Americana. You know, we should all be able to unite over one thing. Every once in a while, we do it, and usually it's a tragedy, and this one is no different. The fabric of America as we have lived on this planet, we all shared something at this very moment. Every one of us who can hear me, every one of us walking on the planet right now have shared our time with Dolly Parton. Does she die? She's close, so. And here's how I know that one of her family members put out a thing yesterday that says, we need prayers for dolly. Now, people say that, and it's usually something I let drift off my back, like, all right, that's one of those thoughts and prayers things that absolutely to me is wishes and hopes and dreams and whatever, but when hill folks say it, something terrible is going on. Hill folk go to the we need prayers they need. They do that right after they've rubbed, like, lizard guts and like, whatever their home remedies are, they're. They piss in a bucket and make you keep your feet in it, like home remedies from hill folk, then end with, we need prayers for Dolly. I Think Dolly's about done.

[Brett]

Oh, man.

[John Holmberg]

When. When the family comes out and says stuff like, you know, can we get some hope? And, like, can you throw some coins in a fountain for Dolly today? That they're out. They're out of ideas. They've taken her to hospitals. They've done their hill folk remedies, which is rubbing poison ivy between your toes and doing crazy stuff like that. And sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Get to remember Dolly's old. I asked this Brett, perhaps insensitive to the timing, do you think now Dolly Parton's in the Rock and Roll hall of Fame? I think she's down at that grand old Opry hall of Fame, if they got one. I'm sure she's all over the place. She is Americana. Nine to five is a great movie. She's in that. She was great. Best Little Whorehouse in Texas is a terrible movie. We still saw it. She's been iconic for several reasons. To stand out. Right. Do you think it would be appropriate?

[Brett]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

When.

[Brett]

Oh, I'm sorry.

[John Holmberg]

Go ahead. When Dolly goes to take her implants out and put them in her display at the hall of Fame.

[Brett]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

I do, too.

[Brett]

By my initial response.

[John Holmberg]

Here's why. And people be like, oh, that's disgusting. But she did that. She led with those. Yeah, those were her calling card. And then she'd blow you away with single. And people are like, what if they're not implants? Come on, she's 90. Look at those things.

[Brett]

They're up to her clavicle still standing.

[John Holmberg]

She knows it is. So I think that would be something that we could finally, like, all unite on, like, yep, Dolly's boobs. And it would be a good laugh. And she seemed like somebody with a great personality that you could sit back and say, you know what? Let's put her boobs, those giant implants in the hall. Or her bra, at the very least. So people could finally be like, Jesus. Because that's what she led with. That's what she led with.

[Brett]

She never strapped him down. Never put them in that sports them in.

[John Holmberg]

Absolutely. This guy says, wait, hold up. Dolly Parton's still alive. Why did I think she died seven or eight years ago? Because she's ancient. That's why. And you don't want to see her boobs anymore. When she'd show up, Dolly. Dolly was all a bit. Was. I say that. But look again. When you hear hill people ask for prayers, things are bad. I mean, regular folks say it just as a flippant comment. Hill People do it because they mean it. And they need wizards and, you know, elixirs and potions that they've made out of their own spit, urine, and possum gut. And they've been rubbing that on Dolly like crazy, and it ain't working. Hopefully she recovers and she comes back, but this is not good. She canceled her residency in Vegas before it even started. And she went right into, like, some sort of downward spiral. You put Dolly's wig and boobs in the hall of fame. And it is. And it is. It's a tribute to her. She made jokes about her boobs all the time because she knew what she was doing with those things when I saw her on TV last time. She wears weird flesh skin gloves all the way up her arm.

[Brett]

She's covering up that cray paper.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. She looks like a pot sticker without them. So she's got, like, fake skin gloves on, and nails come out of the end of them or they're on them. I don't know how it works, but it kind of looks real until you see the hands and you're like, oh, she looks like a burn victim. And she's got this weird. So she. But. But to her credit, she's like, it's all about appearance. It's all about presentation.

[Brett]

She knows it.

[John Holmberg]

She knows it. So insensitive or not, I think we should start the movement now before Dolly actually goes, that we put those breasts in the, you know, Smithsonian or something, because that is. She is part of America. And her music was great. Jolene's great. You know, all the nine to five stuff is good. She had a bunch of great songs and wrote a ton of good songs. So I'm gonna be the first one on the block to say it. Let's make sure we memorialize and immortalize her implants her breasts. Because I don't know that prior to Dolly Parton, clown boobs were a thing. Unless they were natural. Natural. She's the first, like, she's the first Kardashian. She went extreme trailblazer. Yeah. She went extreme with plastic surgery before anyone else. And Kardashians made those giant asses that aren't human. She made giant. Dolly Parton was the original. Yeah.

[Brett]

Because Jayne Mansfield was natural, all of them.

[John Holmberg]

And even if they weren't, they never went clown king.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You know what I mean? They basically went to, you know, I don't have anything here. Something. You can't think of any, can you?

[Brett]

No. I'm literally trying. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

She is the trailblazer for what ended up being what women do now. It's very common to see clown cans now. It's almost. Yeah. Thank you, Dolly. Thank you, Dolly Parton. Think of what she's done for society, aside from music and entertainment.

[Brett]

All men should rejoice. I mean, we really do. We need to celebrate this.

[John Holmberg]

And you know, it's bad because, like, women hate Dolly Parton's boobs because, oh, they're so fake and so weird. This one says she only has kidney stones. She's not in her deathbed, dude. You don't ask for prayers for kidney stones to tmz. I'm. I'm not saying you're wrong. She might get better. But when family members call TMZ and say, we need prayers, it's taking a turn. Hill folk don't ask for prayers for kidney stones. Kidney stones happen. They'll get them out of there. And kidney stones, too. Look, Brady's kidney stones turned into a softball sized cancerous tumor, and they ripped one out. And the other one's not in good shape either. And we're not hill folks, so we didn't say we need prayers for, like, if we said that. That's. If I'm saying something like that. He's not gonna make it. I'm just judging it off of what hill people do do. And when hill people start talking about wizard help, things are bad. When your last resort is to ask the general public to beg a wizard to save your sister, you're pretty much out on your ass. Like, I'm gonna try everything, even for you, Brett. Brett gets into some trouble. I'm like, all right, I've done everything I can, and the only option I've got is to ask the general public to ask a wizard to help Brett. Like, that's just, you know, you're at your end, and that's not kidney stones at all. And my point being, maybe she does recover, But Dolly ain't gonna last forever. So let's start it now. Dolly's breasts in the Rock and roll hall of Fame or the Smithsonian.

[Brett]

Smithsonian, I think, because I think that's. It's not just rock. It's not just music, people. Everybody knows Dolly in her cans.

[John Holmberg]

Mr. Roger sweater is in the Smithsonian. His tennis shoes in a sweater.

[Brett]

Archie Bunker's chairs there, too. Those cans need to be there for all of America to remember and enjoy.

[John Holmberg]

And put a little asterisk next to it, saying, Dolly was the first one with the set of clown. And America followed suit. Suddenly women are like, oh, I'm not gonna Go Dolly size but bigger. And then a few of them are like, dolly's got nothing on what I'm doing. And they just started clown camping. And then the Kardashians came along and said, boobs, watch this. And they made Dolly Parton sized cans in their ass. And I thought that was going to be a laughable goof. It turned into everyone. It turned into a probably billion but hundreds of million dollar industry of Brazilian butt lifts and big fat asses on women. I mean, can't get through the door. Asses. See them from the front. Asses. I thought that would be hilarious when at first. What is she doing with her ass? Khloe Kardashian was on TV about 12, 15 years ago and she turned around and I thought she had taken a dump in a diaper. Her ass was doing things human asses don't do. And somehow or another, all of the NBA was into it. You couldn't walk by the NBA. The game would stop if the. When the Kardashians first started that, they found. You know when you get in a video game and there's like, you're looking for a key to open another lock.

[Brett]

Yeah. It's like Zelda.

[John Holmberg]

They found the key to unlock the NBA and stop it cold. And like, you will never not. And then everybody started doing it. White girls started doing it. Black girls started doing black girls. I had big asses to start with. And they got bigger. You're telling me that Cardi B is born with that thing? Nope. Saweetie. Sza Doja. She's doing it, right? Sza actually regrets hers because it's so big she can't do it. There's TV shows about removing it because it's too big. And when they remove it, it's still gigantic because it was. It should have had Peterbilt written on it. Dolly Parton started that.

[Brett]

Think when Dolly started out too. It's not like you could go to the store and buy those clothes too, because nobody had cans like that.

[John Holmberg]

No, no. People are, you know, emailing, saying, dolly Parton's sister says, you know, it is just kidney stones. I didn't mean to scare anyone. Look, your name is Frida Parton. I've never heard of you before, but the first time I hear of you, you're begging TMZ to have a wizard fix your sister. That's more than kidney stones. You got scared, she got an infection. And look, Dolly's old kidney stones can kill her.

[Brett]

Calm down, Don Swayze.

[John Holmberg]

If that's not, you know what I mean, right? Don't heard of Frida. Frida Parton. You know why? I bet you Frida didn't do the clown cans. Frida Parton's just a regular. Pardon. What Dolly would have looked like had she not done the crazy. Dolly probably looked at Frida and said, I don't want to look like that and put in new stuff. And maybe it is just something she can recover from. But let's start thinking about it. Frida said she's been under the weather and I simply asked for prayers because I believe so strongly in the power of prayer. It was nothing more than a little sister asking for prayers for her big sister. Thank you all for lifting her up. Your love truly makes a difference. That was Dolly saying, what are you doing? Shut up. People think I'm dying.

[Brett]

There's Frida.

[John Holmberg]

Ugh.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That'S Frida. And she thinks she sings too. She thinks she's singing. You know what's gonna happen if Dolly dies? Frida's gonna run around singing her songs for a while.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah. She's gonna go on. She's gonna do a Vegas residency.

[John Holmberg]

Well, she's gonna try. It's gonna be. It's gonna be at the Fremont. If it's even there. It might be just a club off the Strip now. Frida is the Tiffany Trump of the Pardon family. Good Lord, stop showing me pictures of Frida. Pardon. Well, Frida, I don't accept your apology. And also, I know what hill folk do. Wizard requests mean. It was closer than we wanted it to be. And we just have to start. What I'm saying is we have to start planning for Dolly's demise. Dolly's 80.

[Brett]

Dave just wrote in, Bless you, bros. America needs to remember the cans.

[John Holmberg]

The cans need to. We need to start. And better still, that she may be just fine from this. Then we can start this conversation with her. In fact, Toledo. We gotta get on this.

[Toledo]

Hi, Richard.

[John Holmberg]

Get Dolly Parton on the show. Start making moves. We can do this. I had a strange thing happen yesterday, Brett, Speaking of old people.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

My phone rang and guy in the other line's there. Hi, my name's Ethan. How are you? I'm like, I'm fine. Can you hang on just a second? Like, sure. You called me and then here. Hello? What's going on? And he says, hi, this is William Shatner, and. Oh, all right. What? I will hold. And yeah, so William Shatner was on the phone for half a second with me in the backyard arranging his Wrath of Khan showing. I did this about seven Years ago, where I. He shows the Wrath of Khan and then comes out and does an hour long Q and A and storytelling thing. And I hosted it, I moderated it last time. And so they called and asked me if I wanted to do that again.

[Brett]

Nice.

[John Holmberg]

And remember when I talked to Mr. Shatner here a couple weeks, we're gonna air that interview soon for this very event. And I said, you know, I hosted the last time. And he. I don't remember that. Like, he didn't remember it at all. Oh, he remembered yesterday. It was like, you were great. I'm like, okay, I remember you hosting. It was great. I wanted you back. I know you didn't. That's not. You say that. But anyway, so Yesterday I got 94 year old William Shatner online. So now I technically have William Shatner's phone number. I don't want to abuse that. He's got to know Dolly Parton.

[Brett]

Get Toledo on.

[John Holmberg]

I'm friends with really old celebrities now.

[Brett]

Oh, don't forget how this happened. What happened last time when you had Rowdy Roddy Piper with Burt Reynolds phone number.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I'm not gonna do it on the air. I've learned my lesson. Burt Reynolds wanted to kill me. I thought that would be fun. And again, it was a point of pride when people were daring me. You, you won't call him on the air. And like, I'm damn right I will. And I did. And he was furious. He threatened to sue everybody called him back to apologize and he got more angry. Oh, he answered, huh? Huh? Didn't even make a noise, jj. And all I said was, I got you now, you some bitch. Who the hell is this? And I'm like, oh, boy. He was furious. It's what you do, though, when you're challenged by other men and then you cower in defeat. Because I was scared to death of him after. I thought for sure lawyers and everything else were going to show up. And I didn't do nothing. Really bad happened, but it was scary. It was definitely scary. And technically I had broken rules because I didn't ask, do you want to be on the air? I called him live and let him go on the air. Oh, it was bad. I think the statute of limitations is up. And that'd be like 18 years ago, but still, he's dead anywhere. Everyone's dead. Piper's dead. Yeah, I'm the only one alive from that whole thing and barely, anyway, so I. William Shatner's got to know her. And Dolly Parton. I'll talk to him about that next time Bill and I are on the phone. That's right. You heard me. Next time Bill and I are on.

[Brett]

The phone, let's call him right now.

[John Holmberg]

No, I don't want to do that.

[Brett]

Come on, man.

[John Holmberg]

No, we're friends. It's different. It's different. I don't want to. I don't want to abuse the friendship.

[Brett]

A friend would take your call.

[John Holmberg]

A friend would take my call, but a friend would not. Would trust that I wouldn't call him that way.

[Brett]

If you called Caliendo right now, he would answer and talk to you and.

[John Holmberg]

He would say, what are you doing? What are you doing? Put me on the air.

[Brett]

Well, maybe. Maybe William Shatner.

[John Holmberg]

No, Bill. Bill. It's Bill. Bill would be upset.

[Brett]

He's Bill to you. He's William to me.

[John Holmberg]

We're not that good of friends. Yeah. Oh, he's Mr. Shatner.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Don't fool yourself. Yeah. You show some respect to my past.

[Brett]

Does he just do. Does he just do the con thing the whole time or does he ever do like a TJ Hooker one or.

[John Holmberg]

You know, the Star Trek. But the con. The Wrath of Khan is known as the best of the Star Trek movies he was in. And it is. And then the place packs up, people watch that movie and then he tells stories. Now, seven years ago, his stories are different than they are now. Cause since then he's been to space, he almost died twice. Like, he's got new stories. So he's touring this one man show and he just has a moderator there. And my job is to kind of. To ask a few questions from the audience, from me, and prompt his next story. And they give me cards that basically say, you know, he wants to get into this. So however you can guide that.

[Brett]

Should have Brady do it.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brett]

What?

[John Holmberg]

Caliento wants to do it with me.

[Brett]

Oh, that'd be cool.

[John Holmberg]

Which would be pretty fun. And he's got a. He hung out with Stephen Hawking. That wasn't one of the stories last time. So he's got a bunch of stuff that could be fun. But also I'll ask him, hey, do you know Dolly Parton pretty well? Because you guys were like, like famous at the same time. He's 94. You go back to when Wrath of Khan was made. He's my age in Wrath of Khan. It's crazy, like 83, 82. So he was like 53, 54. And that he. It's crazy to think of that.

[Brett]

82.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that kind of. That was what, 43 years ago. So he was 51, so I'm a little older than he was in Rathon, but my God, is Ricardo still alive.

[Brett]

Or is he dead, too?

[John Holmberg]

No, Monk's dead. Has to be, right? I don't know.

[Brett]

Look him up.

[John Holmberg]

I'm pretty sure he's dead. Yeah, Con is definitely dead either way. And when William Shatner dies, his toupee should also be in the Smithsonian. Although he didn't really lead with it. We just know about it. Anyway, Dolly, we're going to miss you. And I hope it is what they say it is, which is just, you know, kidney stuff. Jones, but a thing. He's like the last one left from Star Trek.

[Brett]

Yeah. Oh, well, Chekhov, I think is still.

[John Holmberg]

Well, Chekhov was young, 89. Kirsty Alley's even dead, and she was in that.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Everybody's dead from the Star Trek movies except still alive, George Takea.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my. Ew. That's what a healthy sex life will get you broke. Oh, no anal sex, everyone. And also, Dolly might be checking out. Right on time. Brad, I know this won't make you happy. You saw what Amazon's doing to 007.

[Brett]

Oh, removing all the guns from the posters.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, come on, can we get. Okay, so here's the thing. If you don't know all the old James Bond movies classic. The gun is part of the hose is Walther. Yeah, it's a Walther ppk, right? Yeah. It's a crappy little peashooter, really, that you know, it would hurt you if it hit you from close. But you had to be James Bond to make that thing a weapon. And he always had the Walther ppk. And then every poster, the pose. It's the silhouette in the beginning of every Bond movie where he swings and poses. So the awesome pose is the. They've taken the gun out of all the posters of 007 movies of the past. All of them. Morning sickness. Medicate K you, PD Holmberg's morning sickness. Amazon has. I want to know, like. Yeah, because there's Dr. No where he's.

[Brett]

Look at GoldenEye. Look how ridiculous this is. He's just standing there with.

[John Holmberg]

He's just with his hand up now. Goldeneye, the original posters, Pierce Brosnan. They took him out of the Pierce Brosnan ones. Who's even re watching those?

[Brett]

Right?

[John Holmberg]

Who's watching the Pierce Brosnan Bond movies? They're terrible.

[Brett]

They probably left the Timothy Dalton guns in. And nobody's gonna see these anyway. We don't got time for that.

[John Holmberg]

I forgot about Timothy Dalton. Timothy Dalton ones were a little aggressive. He was a bad Bond. But even the like Spectre and all that, he's always got his gun. He has a license to kill. That was one of the movies, right? Is there any research that shows that that first off, what kids looking up old Sean Connory movies is going to be influenced by the poster? Second, is there any research to prove because they did this with ET A few years ago where they took the guns and they made them walkie talkies. Steven Spielberg did that. Yeah, they took all of the guys that were chasing Elliot and ET around used to have guns while they. Now they all have walkie talkie. So they replaced, digitally replaced all the guns with walkie talkies. It's like what China's doing doing or the AI that they made it. So you can watch any movie you want, but AI will redo the movie's gay scenes to seem like they're something else. Like if dudes are kissing, I don't know how they do it. But they've made it so AI can redo movies to get rid of the gay. They're doing that with guns. But is there research out there at all that says, oh, this will curb violence or this makes it so? Because if it was a thing that created violence, wouldn't it have done it? Then.

[Brett]

You would think like back in.

[John Holmberg]

The 70s, wouldn't it have been like just, oh, those posters are causing people to shoot everybody. Like wouldn't we have. Wouldn't we have seen upticks in violence from the posters? Then why is double. And it has to be just to get people to look at old 007s again on Amazon. But Amazon's not hurting. They don't need to push for a product. Unless they've got a warehouse full of Bond movies they want to get rid of.

[Brett]

Well, they spent an s load of money on buying the franchise.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, still, so what?

[Brett]

I agree.

[John Holmberg]

You bought the franchise because it was a brilliant franchise for what it was. It wasn't because you were gonna monkey with it. So you turn it around to be gunless Bond. Then what? Because the next thing Bond is known for is what? Banging broads. And that's toxic. So you can't have a Bond girl. I mean the great line that Timothy or not Timothy Dalton, but Pierce Brosnan utters in that horrible bond mov with Denise Richards and her name was something Dr. Christmas. And the last line of the movie, which is just awesome because it turned into Austin Powers when he's climbs on her and he rolls over and he Gets her. And then they show him and he gets on her again and she wants more. And he said, I thought Christmas only came once a year. And it doesn't even make sense. And then it goes. And all the guys are like, yes, because he was going to nail her for a second time. He's a womanizing private investigator who uses sex. What are they thinking? I want the research that says removing guns from ET Caused a downturn in violence. I want to see it because it's not a thing. It's just not a thing. So it's just designed to piss people off and give the folks at Fox News more fodder to lose their minds over stuff that doesn't really matter. But just put it back. You bought the franchise from the 70s. It is what it is. You know, what are you gonna do? Go back to Leave it to Beaver reruns and make June get a job like women work? She's some housewife. This is just a decade. This is terrible to women. This is what it was like then, disarming James Bond. And then I saw an argument online that said, this is the first step of disarming police officers. And I'm like, wow, that's a pretty good leap. Then you start thinking about it. It's like, wait a minute. If Bond can't have a gun and he's a hero, then you can start saying, well, anyone with a gun is bad. Military movies where they're just throwing pillows at each other. But the Bond thing is, like, disappointing because you'd think that you could leave, you know, all the old stuff where it is and just know what it is. Craig says, I think they took the walkie talkie ET version out. Cause Spielberg even admitted it was a huge mistake, but they still did it. And I don't know where the science comes from that says, oh, this solved the problem. Like, kids won't be violent anymore. And it was never the catalyst for it. What is this? Oh, it about you.

[Brett]

Yeah. How so?

[John Holmberg]

I thought Christmas only comes once a year. Oh, right.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yes. That was a bad movie. And it still had an ending where you're like, all right, Bond, use that woman like tissue and throw her away. You never saw a second time with the Bond girl. He hoard him and he dumped them.

[Brett]

Well, and think about all the names. Are they going to change the names?

[John Holmberg]

There you go.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Pussy Galore. Money, Penny. I mean, come on. So if in fact, you know, they have, I don't know, some sort of a plan to do this with other movies, you're not going to see anything the same again. And it's like going back and painting. Painting art differently. Mona Lisa needed to, you know, she needed to have a man in her life or. I don't know. She needed to. Like. She needed to have a diploma on the wall. What are you doing? She looks like a subservient woman. We don't like that anymore. It's not good.

[Brett]

Honey Rider.

[John Holmberg]

Who?

[Brett]

Honey Rider.

[John Holmberg]

Honey Rider. Oh, what was Ursula Andress's name? She had another.

[Brett]

That was Honey, right?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that was Honey Rider. Okay.

[Brett]

I was gonna say Holly Goodhead.

[John Holmberg]

Holly, think of what they were doing back in the 60s and 70s. Holly good. Ah, Ms. Goodhead. How are you? I don't have a weapon anymore. At least not attached to my body. He was a whore. He was a full man. And to take the gun out of the poster does absolutely nothing. And if your kid was gonna shoot somebody because of the poster of a 1977 Bond movie, you had a lunatic on your hands. And there's no chance that it was. That poster was the only thing stopping him. Thank God we got the gun out of that poster because our son Todd was going to shoot up the school. And thank Christ. Oh, well, now he's not even a little bit violent. Where's the research? Says this works.

[Brett]

Plenty o'.

[Toledo]

Toole.

[John Holmberg]

Was that her name? Who's that?

[Brett]

There's one. I don't know. I gotta find that.

[John Holmberg]

I just forgot that. That's not right. Nobody was Plenty o'. Toole. A real Bond girl.

[Brett]

Look.

[John Holmberg]

That's not it. That's an Austin Powers one. That can't.

[Brett]

Nope. Diamonds Are Forever.

[John Holmberg]

The girl's name in Diamonds Are Forever is Plenty O Tool. And we're getting rid of the guns in the poster.

[Brett]

There you go.

[John Holmberg]

Who was it? Oh, my God. Her name is Plenty o'. Toole. Porn even looks at that and says, nah, that's too far. That's stupid. Nobody's going to buy that. Who played Plenty O Tool?

[Brett]

I can't see Lana Wood.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, she's got a name either way. Lot of wood. Plenty O Tool. Holly Good. Yeah. Look, it just. It doesn't make sense to me, and it's just silly and I don't. Yeah, I. How many movies have guns on the poster? Think about it. Platoon. Yeah, I mean, Django Unchained can't last much. Any Quentin Tarantino thing can't survive the future. There's no way. Pulp Fiction, one of the greatest classic pieces of cinematic art ever made. No guns.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Come on. It's Ridiculous. It's. That's when it says another guy's movie somehow de. Escalate violence while every single Hollywood movie being pumped out is full of guns, kung fu fights, shooting as many bad guys as you can count, blowing up everything inside. It's laughable to be doing both of these things at the same time, as a lot of the thing. Here we go. The left in Hollywood does. It's completely surface, meaningless, and solely for optics. That's so true. True. Philip's right. So true. It's all for a show to seem like they're. We're doing something for your kids. And you know what? It's the passive aggressive game that when Trump said they're banning burning the American flag, he was hoping people would be like, we want to burn the flag. You can't take that away. It's the same thing. It makes people riled up. And then you're like, oh, you love guns, huh? And I kind of say yes to that.

[Brett]

I do.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Cody says if they're so worried about their kids becoming violent, maybe they shouldn't let them start playing Call of duty and GTA at 8 years old.

[John Holmberg]

Don't even go down that road because those don't cause it either. They may be like, again. No, but I mean, it begs the question, what kid who's still impressionable is watching Bond movies from the 70s? Where are they seeing the posters? They're going on Amazon and searching out Connery posters. Who sees them? I haven't seen Roger Moore. Yeah.

[Brett]

Even Pierce Bronze.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Who has seen a Bond poster in the last. When's the last time you saw one? And, like, analyze. It went, oh, that gun makes me. I'm all fired up. I want to go shoot some stuff.

[Brett]

Never.

[John Holmberg]

I want the research that it is. It's all surface. It's nonsense.

[Brett]

This one hits on. Next thing you know, they're gonna edit the Godfather show. Marco Corleone grabbing a walkie talkie from behind the toilet. That hit home for me. Thank you, Jesse.

[John Holmberg]

And then that guy going, yeah, to make all that noise and distract before they shot Lou, who they shoot. There was a Turk. Was it Abe Vagoda?

[Brett]

No, no, no.

[John Holmberg]

I thought they shot.

[Brett]

They shot the. The cop.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, was that the one where the guy was making all the noise, though, to distract. And he walked up behind him and shot him. And then they ran out of the diner. I gotta watch Godfather. Yeah, I thought that was Luca Braszi.

[Brett]

No, no, he's the one that got strangled.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's right.

[Brett]

He got Strangled. Strangled.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you can't have that anymore. No. Godfather just has to be everybody hugging. Godfather has a gun. Doesn't. It's got a puppeteer thing. Sopranos has the gun.

[Brett]

Yeah. No, Godfather's just the puppet over the emblem.

[John Holmberg]

The R in Sopranos is a handgun. Yeah, that's gotta go because kids are watching. You know the Sopranos so much. I don't get it. We're so misguided on everything. Raise your damn kids.

[Brett]

Leave the walkie talkie. Take the cannoli. I mean, it doesn't work.

[John Holmberg]

Does it? Does it, though? Cause I actually am enjoying the hell out of it. I think maybe. I think maybe it's a thing, Brett. I think maybe we should go back in time and change it all to. To that garbage to where you're just hearing the. You come in here with that walkie talkie and you look me in the eyes. I don't know what we're talking about right now, but I want you to go in that place and I want you to whack him. Want me to take him out? Yeah, but not with a gun or anything. That's violent. That's terrifying. Kids might see. Go in there, and when I say whack him, give him a smack in the face and a good talking to.

[Brett]

I'll call Jonathan Gannon and I'll send him in.

[John Holmberg]

Let's know he's too violent. A smack, open hand, like 80s MMA fighting. In fact, if you could just deescalate and talk to him before we do it, this movie'd still be great. Take the guns out of Bond and it's not the movie, it's just the poster. So what about Rambo? Jesus Christ, could we ever even think about Rambo's posters? If he's just, like, giving us a thumbs up, it changes everything.

[Brett]

Matthew said, john, pretty soon you're gonna see everybody running around the movies with their fingers pointing at each other going.

[John Holmberg]

Pew, pew, mother effort. And little piss lasers coming like those water guns. Your kids are violent because your kids are violent. Violent, that's all.

[Brett]

Make moves like the wnba. Replace all guns with dildos.

[John Holmberg]

There you go. Just have them flopping around with giant dicks that.

[Brett]

Shoot, look who wrote that one first. Before you.

[John Holmberg]

Showtime Shane. He says no crazy violence was happening when Bond movies came out, but now it's an issue. That's what I said.

[Brett]

Yeah, exactly.

[John Holmberg]

Showtime. Shane's right. You know who could get us the answers to this is that John Eaton. He knows everything. So, John Eaton, if you could fire over the actual Data that shows how violence has risen because of James Bond's posters. I'd love to see it.

[Brett]

What are the Ghostbusters gonna kill ghosts with now?

[John Holmberg]

Well, they didn't have guns. They had made up toys.

[Brett]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

Those were. They were violent. Yeah, Caused a lot of strife. Blew up a lot of stuff.

[Brett]

Well, John Wick is out then.

[John Holmberg]

John Wick is so out.

[Brett]

Love those movies.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And you know who else is out? Let's just move it right on out of movies. I don't think you can enjoy Guns and Roses as much as you used to. Look, if they ban LA guns, I'm fine with it. But Guns n Roses being out? Plenty of gun action out there. I don't know, it just drives me. If your kids. If your kids are that fragile, it's your fault. Keep a better eye on them. You know what? Going back to our original, give them a gannon once in a while.

[Brett]

There you go.

[John Holmberg]

Let them know who's boss. Violence begets violence. No, you need a man in the house. Need a man in the house to grab the kid and go knock it off. I'm gonna shoot everybody. Cuz I saw a Bond poster. What are you. Are you crazy? Somebody put this kid in a straight jacket.

[Brett]

Maybe they'll change the scene in Scarface where he's cut getting cut up with a chainsaw to tickling him at the end.

[John Holmberg]

He comes out of the rooms. Say hello to my little friend. Hi. My name's Timmy. And it's just a little guy that's just his friend. Yeah, yeah, I got him. He's my he. Big brother.

[Brett]

Oh, Plenty o' Toole was Natalie Wood's sister.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's right.

[Brett]

Yeah. Thank you, John.

[John Holmberg]

She's a second sister, too. Lorna.

[Brett]

Oh, I don't know. I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it might be. I don't remember her last name.

[Brett]

We got the new Rambo poster.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no, somebody's already made it. It's just two thumbs up where the machine gun once was. But he's still making machine gun fire in face. Pew, pew, pew, pew. You know, I would rather beat up all these Cambodians with rocks. Isn't it still violence if it uses something else? So wouldn't your kids just learn that, like, if Rambo goes, I'm gonna hit you with rocks? And he's like, real proficient with rock throwing. And he kills Cambodians with rocks. The kids would want to kill each other with rocks. The posters were. The posters were doing nothing.

[Brett]

Especially James Bond posters.

[John Holmberg]

All you thought of was, like, man, that Guy's gonna bang everybody. Sometimes I look like. All the opening sequences were important to the movie because they were like the new opening sequence, it had the song, and then he'd spin and turn into that. That scope of photography that was getting all. It was great stuff. Naked ladies swimming around in their silhouettes was awesome. You can't do it. So great, John. Next thing you know, all the Kiss songs I love are gonna change. You can't have Love Gun anymore. It would have to be called Jew Cr. I don't know if that's gonna be. And that's good. I don't know. Actually, you know what? Gene Simmons here from Kiss. Not a terrible idea. Shoe Crank kisses kisses back, Brett. And I want to thank EJ Balms for that. Kisses back. We were retired. We were just going to be holograms. But with this fantastic new idea to appease people with crazy children. We've changed the name of Love Gun to Jew Crank. Because really. Let's just cut to the chase, Brett. That's what the song is about. Jew Crank. It's just what it's about. Now we're gonna have some trouble because everything in the song rhymes with love gone up to that point. But Jew Crank is catchy. We're going to redo all of our songs to be more transparent about what they're really about. And Love Gun is the first one we'll go with. And, E.J. you'll get a writing credit from Kiss. It doesn't mean any money, but you should be honored that you're on a Kiss album with me and the Dove. Sponsored by Dove, by the way, brother. Yeah. We gotta wash your Jew Crank with Dove soap, so we know better. And now just listen to how great this might sound. Love Gun is no longer called that because your kids will kill. We all know you've raised nut bags, so let me introduce Kissy's new hit, Shoe Cray. I really love you, baby I love what you've got let's get together, we can get hot I have to sing the whole damn thing. And we're going to get to the chorus. Don't bore us. Get to the chorus. No place to run. Paul sings this, so I'm just. You pull the trigger of my TO crane. Yeah. You can't forget me, baby don't try to lie.

[Byron]

Yeah, it works.

[John Holmberg]

Brett, this is something we're need to run with the Ju Crank. I'll call Paul immediately, and we'll get a tour together for Kiss. And we'll call it The Jew crank 26 because God forbid. God forbid that we kiss. Cause any of your nutbag kids to lose their minds and shoot people. Because we simply had Love Gun as a song. This is very good. This is very good. Excellent. Thank you very much to EJ Bombs, one of the writers now of Kiss's next album, Jew crank 26. Oh, thank you for giving me this time. Thanks, Gene. I got nothing. Maybe we just play Drew Crank as the Wake Up. Everybody can sing it in their cars. Yeah, I think that's a good idea. All right. It's time for the Wake up song. I think we know what direction that's gonna go. Brad, who brings us that?

[Brett]

Of course. It's Action Ride Shot. And the boys are getting you guys ready for the season. And now's the time to get those bikes serviced. Pick up a new bike.

[John Holmberg]

Pick up a new bike.

[Brett]

Get all the gear you're gonna need and all the advice you need over at Action Ride Shop. And they got two locations right there. The OG on Gilbert Road and Southern. And of course, the brand new one right there on power Road and McDowell. It is Action Ride Shop. Actionrideshop.com.

[John Holmberg]

There it is. It's already. We won't even waste our time. Two Crank it is.

[Brett]

Oh, we got the. We got the new poster for Pulp Fiction since.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, God.

[Brett]

Hang on, hang on. Hold.

[John Holmberg]

That is a Pulp Fiction poster. Have a gun in it. It's got a picture of Travolta and. And Sam Jackson. The one I had, the poster was those two together and they're both holding guns.

[Brett]

Yeah. Well, then there's this one.

[John Holmberg]

That's.

[Brett]

What?

[John Holmberg]

They just have dildos in their hands. I don't know how you people are so quick with this. Nice work, but there it is. That's excellent work. God, AI Scares the hell out of me. That was fast. Yeah, so there it is. Well, enjoy it. You know what to do in the car.

[Brett]

I can't not sing this.

[John Holmberg]

We may join in. It's Kiss. Let me handle this. Kiss. All the way from 1977. 50 years later, it's now Jew crank on 98 KUPD.

[Brett]

Nice.

[John Holmberg]

It's not weird.

[Toledo]

It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees.

[John Holmberg]

I have heard enough of this morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil. Sitting right here.

[Brett]

Come on.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. Somebody says, dammit, I didn't expect you to run with that. That's ej, the guy who came up with it. Said I'm in the middle of a Texas oil field and the whole crew laughing their ass off at Jew crank. Thanks for playing Love Gun by the way. It's one of my all time favorite.

[Toledo]

He's playing bastard.

[John Holmberg]

It's not called Love Gun anymore, I think. Gene Simmons here from kiss. We cleared that up just moments ago. In fact, I brought my friend Benny's here. Bibi, come on in real quick. Bibi Netanyahu. Bibi, do you have anything to say to the people concerning all of this violence that's in the world today? I do, Gene. Thank you. Wow, pardon me. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that we've started a new movement in Israel to try to curb violence and we're going to have hats made. Here's a hat, Brett, for you. And for you, Richard, even though you're a lefty cook. Hey, it's the McJga hats. We don't have a catchy name like Maga, but it's make you crank great again hats. I'm not wrong about that. I'll be in the hallway if you need me. Shalom, everyone. Thank you, Bibi. I just wanted to to take the time to do that. Gene Simmons from kiss. Have a great day with your Jew crank. Thanks, ej. EJ gave us a lot of material there with two words. It's pretty good work. Once again, Brady's not here this week. Well, he'd be back tomorrow, right? Well, all things fingers crossed. Fingers crossed.

[Brett]

You know, hopefully for Dale's sake.

[Toledo]

Apparently Dale needs him here.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, or Dale a baby. But also the idea, well, maybe we should pull a Dolly Parton sister and ask for prayers to. For Brady to get home. We're not real sure if he's going to make. He's out there with the mom and everything's good. So he's going to fly back. Well, but in the meantime, Brett will give you the Brady Report. All of the news Brady knows as reported by Brett, brought to you by our [e-mail] allpro shade.com. write it down, put it in your computer, do whatever you need to do and then hop on board and get those folks over to your platform place to make sure that you're shady business as well. By the way, they can come to your work and say, you know, we've got this big patio sitting outside, absolutely no shade on it at all. It'll be beautiful. But the sun just beats down on you. Even when it's nice, everybody's squinting. Umbrellas do nothing. You can do it for any place you want. Call All Pro Shade, get them over to your place for an estimate. They'll take a look at it. They'll analyze what you're thinking about, come up with some ideas, and then make it look fantastic. And they make it blend with whatever building or home you're talking about. They're not going to just plaster, you know, make it look like an old 1970s Baskin Robbins with those weird pink and white things hanging off your windows. They'll make it all look great. So check it out. You want shade, there's only one place to go. Allprochade.com Brett, report it.

[Brett]

How you doing?

[John Holmberg]

Here we go.

[Brett]

Let's start off with, you know, today's. It's national. Bring your teddy bear to school day.

[John Holmberg]

It's adorable. As a teddy bear haver and lover, I have a soft spot in my heart for the old teddy bear. Brett does too.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

What was your thing? Toledo. As a kid, did you have a wife? Woobie.

[Toledo]

I didn't have a woobie. No. Never did.

[John Holmberg]

Wooby isn't like another word for father. Did you have like a teddy bear?

[Toledo]

I also didn't have a father.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brett]

That's what I was.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't want you to be confused.

[Toledo]

No, no.

[John Holmberg]

You didn't have like a little stuffy or something? Nothing. Brady had Puffy, the piss pillow.

[Toledo]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

But it was just called puffy to Brady, but it was the piss pill at everyone else because Brady went to bed until he was Alex.

[Toledo]

Only even had like my mom got him this elephant that was kind of a blanket. Blanket. Elephant head with a blanket off of it. And he had that for a couple. But he gave it up after.

[John Holmberg]

He didn't have like two. Any emotional tie. You know why? Because you had abandonment issues.

[Toledo]

Yeah, absolutely.

[John Holmberg]

So you probably shouldn't.

[Toledo]

The one thing he did have was a phoenix coyote teddy bear that he got at a game that he. He liked for a while. I still have that.

[John Holmberg]

But like a typical Toledo, he abandoned it once.

[Toledo]

All emotional ties.

[John Holmberg]

And once. Once it got to the point where it's like, well, this thing loves me. I should go.

[Toledo]

Can't invest any time in it because it'll just leave.

[John Holmberg]

It's just that. And you have it in your jeans to run a little as well. A little bit. Which is, we're still waiting on you. Alex has. Has the best of it all. He's almost 20 at this point. You still haven't run out on him?

[Toledo]

Not only that, he's back at our house and he's making plans to redesign his room. I'm like, he's staying. Can't we.

[Brett]

Oh, you're.

[Toledo]

Can't we put that like off to a.

[John Holmberg]

By the way, your own place? Happy one year anniversary of him not paying his first month's rent last year. Year? Dude, what sparked all of the. Dude, it was a year ago.

[Toledo]

You don't understand how happy I was that he got a friggin job after 14 months. He's got a job grubhubbing. Oh, he's had a job.

[John Holmberg]

Doing what?

[Toledo]

I told you, he works for the restaurant. He's. He's a.

[John Holmberg]

He's a bus boy.

[Toledo]

Expo busser. Host.

[John Holmberg]

What restaurant?

[Toledo]

A Zona cantina.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I don't think I remember you.

[Toledo]

Saying one down in Brayton. Well, near Brady's hood. He's a host in San Diego, bruh. I'm in the hosting as much.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, because people look at him like. Don't call me bruh. There's four of us, bruh. I'm sorry, I'm not a maitre d in a French restaurant. What do you want?

[Toledo]

He's been getting more than 40 hours a week, John.

[John Holmberg]

He's killing it.

[Toledo]

He's killing it.

[John Holmberg]

How come he's not waiting tables?

[Toledo]

He's actually, he's trying to. He's. He's trying to learn. He needs to learn the menu.

[Brett]

Why is he redoing his room now he's got a job.

[Toledo]

Yeah, because he's got a job.

[Brett]

Get him his own room.

[John Holmberg]

You save the money and get your. What he said.

[Toledo]

I know we effed up allowing him to move back.

[John Holmberg]

He should be on the streets. This one.

[Brett]

Yeah. Wasn't it worth it paying for him to be in Tucson?

[Toledo]

There's part of that that was.

[Brett]

I mean, it was money well spent.

[Toledo]

It was. It was a pretty panning, Brett, but.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, money well spent. That's what they say. Hilarious. Anyway, sorry. All right, Happy teddy bear day.

[Brett]

Basic fun facts here. The average weight for males in the u. S. Ages 20, 20 years old and older, obviously.

[John Holmberg]

Oh no.

[Brett]

199.8.

[John Holmberg]

That's our average. It used to be like 165.

[Brett]

Put your seatbelt on for this one. The average weight for a female, 168. Nice. Close.

[John Holmberg]

What is it?

[Brett]

170.8.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, wow. Average.

[Brett]

That's average.

[John Holmberg]

That's huge. Yeah, we're huge. And the average height is still five nine.

[Brett]

I don't have that. Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Average height is still five nine. And we're running 200 pounds. Perfect. Everybody's running overweight. I just had one of those body analysis scans and I'm at 21% body fat.

[Brett]

What are you supposed to be at?

[John Holmberg]

23? 24 is okay. That's pretty normal. What you'd like to be is in the teens as a man my age especially. And then you start getting down into the low teens. High, high single digits and you're in great shape. But you start running the risk of needing a little fish fat. 199 pounds on the average 5 foot 9 inch body's got to be running about 30%. And that's bad. You start getting past 26% body fat and you're in trouble. The visceral fat starts kicking in. That stuff in and above and under muscles and things like that. And that's heart attack material. And heart disease still the number one killer in America. Nobody talks about it. It's crazy. 199 is our average weight and women one seven one.

[Brett]

It's basically 200. 109. 199.8. So 200 pounds. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

But women being 170 and the average height of a woman is five four.

[Toledo]

200 is what I'd love to get back to.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I'm 204, 205 right now, 214. And I could. I could stand. I know I have 10 pounds of yuck. Oh, yeah.

[AI Voice]

Easy.

[John Holmberg]

But hang on. Careful. Chief.

[Toledo]

Actually meant that about me. Yeah, it applies.

[John Holmberg]

Well, we weren't talking about you right then and there, Dick. You wouldn't ask.

[Toledo]

Oh, you want to punch me in the gut?

[John Holmberg]

I think I might gan in this guy. Just don't use a gun, John. Don't use. Use your Jew crank. Get him.

[Brett]

All right. The most. The most money someone can make on an episode of Jeopardy. Is $566,400.

[John Holmberg]

Making all the answers and hitting every.

[Brett]

Yeah, that would require getting the daily doubles as the last questions in both rounds. Rounds. And doubling up with them every time.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, wow. The Most.

[Brett]

Someone's actually one in one episodes. 131, 000.

[John Holmberg]

Is that Beanie Guy or.

[Brett]

Yeah, I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

James Holt Howler or whatever his name was.

[Brett]

I didn't say it doesn't have. Doesn't have a name.

[Toledo]

Or maybe Jennings did.

[John Holmberg]

Jennings and Jennings did. Great winning. He didn't win a ton. That James Holt Hauser guy doubled every time.

[Toledo]

Every time. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I think he might have been the one who got the most. But then there was that weird bartender, Beanie something. And he started getting some huge cash Guy.

[Brett]

Let'S see. There's enough energy in 1 gallon of gas to charge your iPhone once a day for over 10 years. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

There are gas powered iPhones?

[Brett]

Well, no, but they're just saying the energy that is in gasoline. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

How broke are you? Where's your ebt? That's an Obama phone if I've ever heard it. Hold on, let me. I got. I gotta make a. I gotta make a couple phone calls. Gonna take me a second second. Here we go. Little mom. What are you calling me for? Hey man, I only got a G like gas left. I got to. If I need to borrow a couple bucks, I'd like to get one of them new fangled non gas phones, please. I got to go, Mom. It's all.

[Brett]

Rolled wind on the hellcat. I can't hear you.

[John Holmberg]

It is a gas powered fan phone. Who figured that out?

[Brett]

I don't know. Somebody with nothing better to do with.

[John Holmberg]

Their time, I guess.

[Brett]

In the movie the Mask, Cameron Diaz's role almost went to Anna Nicole Smith.

[Toledo]

Oh God.

[Brett]

That'd be a different movie. She.

[John Holmberg]

It wasn't very good to begin with. No, I know.

[Brett]

That's what I'm saying. But you, when you just. When you didn't think it couldn't get any worse with.

[John Holmberg]

Huh.

[Brett]

The most common sentence in the Harry Potter books is nothing happened. Could be the Godfather.

[John Holmberg]

I was gonna say that's an Italian Harry Potter. What are you talking about? He's a wizard. What? Nothing happened around here. Put your wand down. Nothing happened.

[Toledo]

Good God, John. I'm a 6 foot, 175 pound male. All these women nearly outweigh me.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And that's the thing that's crazy is that like the average man used to be 581-725-8. Yeah. That was jumped up like in my life. I remember paying attention that because I was real worried I was never gonna grow.

[Toledo]

What are we looking at height here?

[John Holmberg]

Still five nine, the average man. Me, six feet a little higher actually.

[Toledo]

Really?

[John Holmberg]

I grew a little. I don't know what's going on. My feet got bigger and I got taller. But yeah. So I'm. I'm way above the average Joe. As far as average. Brett's like a monster.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And then there's guys like Scott Haynes who screw it up for everybody who's five three. And Brady's no good either. He's five seven.

[Toledo]

We put Scott Brady and Brett in a room and yeah, the average is.

[John Holmberg]

Way Scott Brady and bred. It would go right back to 5:9. That's the average but, yeah, but 175 is a reasonable weight for a guy.

[Brett]

5, 9 broads weight now.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

What do you think Scott Haynes weight is?

[John Holmberg]

I think he's like 145, 100. He's normal. He's in good shape. He's in great shape, actually. He's a trainer. But you take like my ideal BMI on this body scan I just did was 180, and I feel like I'd look like I've got AIDS. Although it would be. It would be hard to attain 180, but it would be a perfect weight for me. I just, I'm more. I just kind of rest around 200.

[Toledo]

Is it just. My perception has been blown away over these last 30 years. But isn't 6 foot 175 a bit wispy?

[John Holmberg]

It can be.

[Brett]

That's what I think.

[John Holmberg]

I'm sick. If. Because if. If you go to my bmi, which insurance is a big push on that, to find out what your weight is supposed to be. I'm supposed to be 180. That's a. That is a super duper healthy weight for me. I'm 200 and I feel fine. Toledo thinks I need to lose a lot of weight, but other than that, I look in the mirror and I'm like, nah, you know, I could drop a couple. But it's not. It doesn't. It's not noticeably bad.

[Brett]

Yesterday it's your, you know, it's your voice. Today you're, Jesus Christ, what's going on?

[John Holmberg]

These people are mean to me. Maybe I've got body dysmorphia and voice dysmorphia. Because I look in the mirror and I'm like, hey, not bad. It's. I'm keeping it together. I'm, you know, I'm not going to win any modeling contest. But there's abs in there. I see them obliques. They're a little tougher to come by. There's a couple. They kind of creep out every once in a while if I don't eat. But. But yeah, I. I could still probably, according to BMI, lose 20 pounds.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I remember Tommy Davidson came in here from In Living Color, and he was in a tank top and shorts and dude is ripped, ripped. But he's so skinny. And I said, man, you are thin. And he goes, caught being in shape. And he called me the N word. And I said, no, I'm not saying you're not in shape, because. No, it's called being in shape. America's so Used to people being fat that I am. I am now looked at as thin. And all I am is in shape. And I started right. You're right, man. You didn't have to call me. The N word, though. Hard rna. You got the N. No, he. He hit me with kind of. Kind of somewhere in between.

[AI Voice]

Okay.

[Brett]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

I think it might have been an ar.

[Brett]

Okay. I was trying to mount on.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Toledo]

John, do you think this would be the wake up call for women? It needs to be. Or do you think that they'll grandstand on it and say they're just big.

[Brett]

Bones, they'll dig their heels in?

[John Holmberg]

Well, their heels are digging in on their own. They're so fat, their heels are going right into the earth.

[Toledo]

They got flats on now.

[John Holmberg]

They're going to strike oil if they keep it up with their heels.

[Brett]

It's a thyroid issue.

[John Holmberg]

My mom and dad gave me medicine when I was 8. You're 40. It should have left your system.

[Brett]

Here's something. You know, you jump on the plane, first thing you do is dim the lights. Everything else. And while it's not actually, you know, to help you sleep and make you comfortable, it's so your eyes can adjust to low lighting in case of an emergency and you need to evacuate.

[John Holmberg]

That's why they do that.

[Brett]

That's right.

[John Holmberg]

They turn the lights out in case it crashes.

[Brett]

Yeah, well, so your eyes can, you know, adjust to darkness.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. That's. Look. No, I thought it was just to help us, you know, relax. It's a plan.

[Brett]

Well, Gannon's not the only one getting fined. Apparently, Jerry Jones was fined $250,000 for giving the jets fans the finger.

[John Holmberg]

All right, Jerry, I didn't see that.

[Brett]

He claims it was an accident. He was. He was basically trying to give the thumbs up to the Dallas fans, but.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly right, Brett. How you doing, everybody? Jerry Jones. How you doing? Jerry's Cowboys? I just thought I'd let you know that I also have that weird herpes on my lip. I don't think I've seen that in the last couple days. And I was getting my fingers up to scratch the herpe and give a thumbs up at the same time. And being 105 years old, my brain didn't react proper. So accidentally put my herpes finger in the air to Jets Fins while I tried to give a thumbs up to. Ah, that's not true. The Jets. I hate them and they hate me. All right, I lied. I tried to get away with that one. I missed Michael Parsons.

[Brett]

There wasn't it wasn't shown on TV or anything, but apparently a fans got a video.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you're New Yorkers.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You crooked bastards. That was, you know what good on the New Yorkers, actually.

[Brett]

It's bad enough they're jets fans.

[John Holmberg]

Did Jerry just flip me off? Oh, he died.

[Brett]

He.

[John Holmberg]

Does he double him? Is he going double guns Jerry? And I think he did a little bounce off the crotch too, to start.

[Toledo]

It did look like he went.

[John Holmberg]

He throws a bird.

[Byron]

What if.

[John Holmberg]

Is it at an individual or. Yeah, yeah, he's pointing directly at one guy. He flipped one dude off. That's okay.

[Toledo]

He pointed at him and.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he pointed. I'm like you. You in particular. Go yourself, cowboy style. How about them cowboys?

[Toledo]

That's Steven sitting next to time don't do.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Steven said daddy, daddy, daddy. Shut up, Stephen. That guy's an asshole and I'm drunk. That's pretty good move right there. But you know what I like the most is the. Oh my. The clutching pearls. Did Jerry Jones just flip me off? I never. I'm from New York. We don't do that stuff.

[Brett]

You're a Jets fan.

[John Holmberg]

You got.

[Brett]

You got more problems than that. All right.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you should be mad at your team for not just flipping you off, but actually penetrating you and you annually. Yeah, they've been us for a long time. Jerry's fingers, nothing.

[Brett]

Apparently people at work, I mean, I guess we could go downstairs and look at this, but 51% of their day goes to just busy work like writing emails, copy and pasting, data entry, all that kind of stuff.

[John Holmberg]

In Heather's case yesterday, just yelling at me, that was busy work.

[Brett]

I want to get back to sending some emails in.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, do your job.

[Brett]

It's pet obesity awareness day as well. I just found this one.

[John Holmberg]

Average pet, 175 pounds.

[Brett]

Up to 60%. Up to 60% of cats and dogs are now overweight. The poll found that 35% of pet owners would consider putting them on Ozempic instead of cutting back on the food.

[John Holmberg]

Instead of exercising, exercising them.

[Brett]

Well, it's that apple fat ass back.

[John Holmberg]

Into shape apple tree thing we're talking about there. The fat person doesn't want to exercise, so inevitably their dogs don't. So they get fat. They always say that your dogs start to look like you. You get a fat. You got a fat person, you got a fat dog. My, my friend Mark Stebbing says three fat dogs. I'm like, well, there's a reason why they see you. They think it's normal. Apparently I have to morning sickness medicate, can you? Holmberg's morning sickness. Are your dogs fat? You don't have fat dogs. Your dogs are.

[Brett]

No, our two Dobermans and we got one that she's. She's a little. But she's a little chunky, but yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they get older, they get a little chubby because they don't move as much.

[Brett]

Oh, those Dobermans don't stop.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's. My dogs are in incredible shape. They play constant.

[Toledo]

Well, yours flies on a rope.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he loves that tree ball. But you know, Jack is a lean machine. He flies around buses. Just. Just a muscle. Yardley's got three legs and she's in better shape than all of them.

[Brett]

Well, the survey came out of the best and worst cities to drive in. 100 cities. You know, the study went through 100 cities and Seattle.

[Toledo]

Seattle's awful.

[John Holmberg]

New York, Louisiana. Those are gonna be.

[Brett]

You're saying worst or best?

[Toledo]

No, no, no, not the best.

[John Holmberg]

Houston's terrible. Houston's absolutely dreadful.

[Toledo]

La, of course.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Actually, like driving in Los Angeles, everybody goes.

[Brett]

Los Angeles is on.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's on the list. It's definitely.

[Brett]

Actually four cities in California.

[John Holmberg]

San Francisco sucks. LA sucks. I don't know about San Diego.

[Brett]

Frisco, Oakland, la, and San Jose.

[John Holmberg]

San Jose.

[Toledo]

They just say the one area. It's all the same place.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's not.

[Toledo]

San Jose, Oakland and San Fran.

[John Holmberg]

It's 100 miles in between them. It's all the same. You talking about they call them different things for a reason? No.

[Brett]

Apparently Ravens fans aren't good drivers because Baltimore is on the list of worse.

[John Holmberg]

Cars in Baltimore now. I thought they were all just traipsing along. Yeah, yeah, well, that's true. They're all from dc, where they were stolen. Okay, that makes sense. DC steals the cars and then trucks them down to Baltimore to get chop.

[Brett]

DC's on the list. Chicago, New York, Detroit.

[Toledo]

By the way, I don't know if you've been up north lately, but those flex lanes are open on the 17 flying up to Flagstaff.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding. It's awesome.

[Toledo]

So there's four or five lanes now going up and then coming back down on the heavy days.

[John Holmberg]

They still a problem when there's a wreck. One with one lane in, one lane out. If you're ever coming back from FLAG on a Monday and there's a wreck on a three day weekend, you're sitting in that thing for hours. It's brutal.

[Brett]

The best cities though, five in Texas as a matter of fact. Corpus Christi is Number one, you better get a living.

[John Holmberg]

Corpus Christi.

[Brett]

I know. Greensboro, North Carolina. Boise, Idaho's on the list.

[John Holmberg]

These are cow towns.

[Brett]

Well, no, Scottsdale's on the list. Scottsdale's one of the best towns in Dryden.

[John Holmberg]

Different than anywhere here. First off, there's one freeway in Scottsdale. It's the 101, and it sucks. And then all their streets. I guess I get stuck on McDowell every day. How can Scottsdale suddenly be good? And then you cross over and you're in Phoenix, and it sucks. Sucks. Tempe's the worst. Oh, yeah. We shouldn't be on the list. Either good or bad. We're not quite terrible yet. And we're not. We're certainly not good.

[Brett]

Well, there was a woman in Missouri, and it's bad enough to live in Missouri, but she was sick in bed for a week. But she's feeling much better now because she finally decided to get out of the house, go to the gas station, get a pop and a lottery ticket, and hit for 100 grand.

[John Holmberg]

Nice.

[Brett]

So not too bad.

[John Holmberg]

So now she's the richest person in me. Misery.

[Brett]

Oh, man.

[John Holmberg]

A state so awful that even its own citizens mispronounce it misery. After Missouri, misery. It's terrible. The Kansas City's in there, you know. Ugh.

[Toledo]

Kansas City.

[John Holmberg]

The bad part of Kansas City's there. Misery. What a dump. Well, apparent.

[Brett]

Rubes.

[John Holmberg]

I've been there. Trust me. Kansas City's awful.

[Brett]

Awful.

[John Holmberg]

If Kansas City's the. The beacon of that region. Jesus Christ. I don't want to know what else there is.

[Brett]

All right, here's some. Here's some food news for Brady. If Cracker Barrel Roll didn't set the precedence for everything. Apparently now Long John Silver is ditching its old logo, replacing the fish with a chicken. They insist their seafood isn't going anywhere. They're just hyping up the chicken.

[John Holmberg]

You misread that. Our seafood's not going anywhere. We need to start selling chicken.

[Toledo]

We aren't moving any.

[John Holmberg]

They insist their seafood's not going anywhere. So they're longshoremen. Fisherman type. Yeah. Has gained. He's given way to chicken fishing.

[Brett]

Yeah, with the slicker on and everything else.

[John Holmberg]

Wasn't he wearing a gear? Yeah, because their new logo is just a fish that looks like it's jumping.

[Brett]

Oh, I haven't been to Long John Silver in years.

[John Holmberg]

Have you had their food?

[Brett]

I don't even know where one is, to be honest with you.

[John Holmberg]

Last time we went, we went to Tempe and walked in, it was dead empty. At like 12 o' clock on a weekday, it should be a restaurant's busiest time.

[Brett]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

And we walked in and the dude behind the counter goes, ah. He was mad that he had to make food for us.

[Brett]

I hate this.

[John Holmberg]

A bitch. Hey, I work at Longtown Civil, so I don't have to do. What are you doing here? Here, some hush puppies and a number two Hush puppies. Mother. Have you had those? They're terrible. I will do it, but God damn.

[Toledo]

This is the old one, and then they revised to this one, and now I'm trying.

[John Holmberg]

It's like a fish chicken. Well, I don't know if they've introduced it yet. They're just going, why not just go right there? That's a flat. Yeah. Sure enough. It's like a full whole chicken. And it is the last place I'm going to a pirate named Restaurant. Restaurant to have chicken.

[Toledo]

Right. Famous for his chicken.

[John Holmberg]

Welcome to Long John Silver's. Would you like a land fish? What's that? You call it a chicken? We call it a land fish. I catch them with hooks. It's more humane. See, now, I would go, if they had a tank of chickens and you got to fish them out.

[Toledo]

Pick your own one.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, they had to, cat. You had to catch one. And you have, like, a little piece of corn on your bait and. And it gets in the chicken beak and you hook it and you drag it out.

[Toledo]

That dude was angry enough cooking our fish. Imagine him having.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not saying he'd do it. You go into Long John, they got plenty of space and a lot of time. You have a tank of chickens, you drop your line in, and the chicken pecks at the hook with corn on it, and you. You get it out of there and then it's yours.

[Toledo]

I don't even know if there's any around still. That one that we went to, I think is gone. That one in Tempe.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they're Evidently, they're around, but it's now Long John Silver.

[Toledo]

They're all in Baltimore.

[John Holmberg]

Chicken of the sea. I don't know what they're doing. Yeah, that dude was pissed off and I got hush puppies. Because I said, yeah, he was. That's the first thing. We're not high.

[Toledo]

Second.

[John Holmberg]

Ah.

[Toledo]

Because you. He asked you, you want hush puppies?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I took the hush. Yeah. Well, I'm like, yeah, you're known for hush puffs. Oh, I gotta turn the fryer on. Like, you should have had that ready for prep.

[AI Voice]

You think I was gonna use this?

[John Holmberg]

This was not getting used today, man, till you came in and root it. Hush puppies. Hey man, I saw that. Don't worry about it, brother. It's the best tasting part of my meal. He was so mad and we couldn't stop laughing. This dude took a john at Long John Silver's because he a job. Because he did not want to see people. It was a smart money. I'm an isolationist. See, I want to sit in a room by myself all day and do nothing. How are the sales going down there today, Jeff? Perfect. In my world, zero. We're still at zero. So we're holding.

[Toledo]

They also call their fish planks. Give me fish. Fish. Don't give me a plank.

[John Holmberg]

I hate to ask you this, Jeff, but do you think if we change the logo to chicken, people would come in? I think yes.

[Toledo]

There are only four locations left in Arizona.

[John Holmberg]

Where's the closest one? Oh, geez.

[Toledo]

There's one in Maricopa.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that doesn't count.

[Toledo]

93Rd and Baseline in Mesa. So that's way east Mesa.

[Brett]

Oh, that's like.

[John Holmberg]

And that's a combo Power Road.

[Toledo]

And that's a combo Taco Bell. Long John Silver.

[Brett]

Oh, no, no.

[John Holmberg]

Very confused.

[Toledo]

The one in Maricopa is a combo also Long John's kfc.

[John Holmberg]

Well then they've already got chicken, right?

[Brett]

I mean, what are they doing?

[Toledo]

The two solo ones are the one on Power Road.

[Brett]

Okay. Yeah.

[Toledo]

And then the one on. There's one up on Bell Road, 19th Avenue.

[John Holmberg]

Bell Road. Nowhere near me. Never gonna. Never gonna go.

[Toledo]

We can order online if you'd like.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, fire it over. Let's get some doordash, Longju. Because nothing deep fried fast food fish does better than travel.

[Brett]

Toledo printed this one up, I believe. So a man in. In Kentucky, Stanton, Kentucky, Powell County, Whatever. He's facing charges because his Halloween decorations depicted bodies of local officials.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you can't do that.

[Brett]

According to an arrest citation, Stephan Marcum was arrested on Saturday and is charged with intimidating a witness in the legal process and third degree terroristic threatening.

[John Holmberg]

You can't do that. You can't take local celebrities and hang them in trees. That's. There's the word effigy kicks in. And hanging an effigy is not a Halloween decoration.

[Brett]

That a bitch.

[John Holmberg]

Was that me in that guy's tree? What? Not just me, but everyone I work with is hanging in that man's front yard.

[Brett]

And of course the list of this comes out every year. The safest. The safest states in America came out. The safest, safest and most Dangerous. Idaho.

[John Holmberg]

Idaho's number one. Maryland is first and most dangerous. Dangerous.

[Brett]

Idaho is not on the list.

[John Holmberg]

They're not.

[Brett]

Well, not on the. You know, the. The top list. Yeah. Vermont. Number one.

[Toledo]

Is that lake you like in Vermont or is that New Hampshire?

[John Holmberg]

Hampshire. I just figure a bunch of. Where old people.

[Brett]

New Hampshire's in there.

[John Holmberg]

No, Hampshire, because a bunch of old people just stayed in the woods is going to be safe. So Montana, Vermont, New Hampshire.

[Toledo]

Remember Unabomber. Montana.

[John Holmberg]

1. You can name one guy. There's always an outlaw fire. Gez. Oregon, maybe. Even though. Portland. Yeah.

[Brett]

The least safest states are all in the South. Louisiana, Mississippi, Texas, Florida, Arkansas, and the.

[John Holmberg]

Whole line just right down the I. All right. Okay. What was the safest one? Vermont.

[Brett]

Vermont. But Massachusetts is in there. Are they not including Boston?

[John Holmberg]

Okay, got to include Boston. I mean, I'd like to exclude Boston for most everything. Yeah.

[Brett]

And apparently the ball games aren't what they used to be because only 14% of adults admit to heckling a player at sports events.

[John Holmberg]

14.

[Toledo]

Admit it.

[Brett]

Admitted. You know, it's harder than that.

[John Holmberg]

That's why I had to take the reins. You fans become a bunch of pussies flipping off jets fans. About as fun as it gets. And that's. I used to get into football.

[Brett]

And that about do. I'm done.

[John Holmberg]

All right. You got videos.

[Toledo]

That's how he closes up.

[John Holmberg]

That's how channel 12 ends their news now, too. I got no more papers in front of me. I think we're done. Good night. What do you got on the videos?

[Toledo]

I got nothing.

[John Holmberg]

Brady, you don't need to worry about that. We're talking about this guy right here. Hang on now. I'm kind of hankering for some Long John Silvers. I got to be honest.

[Brett]

Door dash. Some.

[Toledo]

Oh, God, no.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know if I could do it. I don't want it delivered. It's especially for.

[Brett]

Who's gonna go get it?

[John Holmberg]

Nobody. But it's the distance that it would go.

[Brett]

Get it?

[John Holmberg]

No, because then I'd have to drive to 93rd and Baseline. It's just not gonna work out. Sorry. LJ what if we put chicken on the menu? I got it. I can't even tell the difference. What you guys have been serving is just deep fried meat of sorts.

[Toledo]

Still around?

[Brett]

Who?

[Toledo]

Skippers.

[John Holmberg]

What's that?

[Toledo]

Skippers is the other seafood restaurant.

[John Holmberg]

I've never heard of that one either.

[Toledo]

You never heard of Skippers?

[John Holmberg]

Is it, like, poor people. Long John Silvers. That was better than.

[Toledo]

Better than Long John Silver's it wouldn't.

[John Holmberg]

If it was, I'd have heard of it. Never heard of skippers. Yeah. You don't know what it is either.

[Brett]

I've never heard of it.

[John Holmberg]

Is that a thing? Is that one of them truck stops you have to drive by to go? No, no, no. I've never heard of skippers. I don't know what that is. Is that a Midwestern thing?

[Toledo]

No, I thought it was everywhere.

[John Holmberg]

I've never heard of or seen a skippers, and I've lived everywhere. And they've got one of those boat wheels for steering a boat, or they call that thing a boat steering wheel, helm.

[Brett]

I've never heard of a skippers either.

[Toledo]

All right, maybe it's just me.

[John Holmberg]

I don't like.

[Brett]

Are there any here?

[John Holmberg]

Let's look. I don't like. If I want a fish sandwich, I'm going to McDonald's, getting a filet of fish. They have chowder.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Jesus Christ. What kind of daredevil are you? Yeah, Evil Knievel would be like, this is too risky. We can't. You have fast food chowder. You're paying people minimum wage to make you soup. Think of what you're doing, doing. If you went on the streets and said, I'll give you $10 and that's it to make me soup. You think that soup's coming back without something of that guy in it?

[Toledo]

It's a West Coast.

[John Holmberg]

It's Seattle, Oregon. Never heard of it.

[Brett]

A man goop said he would bring us Long John Silver's.

[John Holmberg]

No, thank you. And no way it makes it from where it's got to go to here.

[Toledo]

With mango in one piece, you got.

[John Holmberg]

A bag of fresh food. I know he's. I know he stays away from fish, but deep fried anything, he's going to eat the bag. Man goop would bring it to us. Come on. What's. How far? 93rd and Baseline, Mason.

[Brett]

Oh, there's one out on power. He lives out that way.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, so he goes to power in the 60.

[Brett]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

And he's got 20. Hold on. He's got to get to 52nd street and McDowell with a bag of fresh food in the car. That's not going to make it. He's going to pull over. There's no. And he'll eat that, too. All of it's gone. He'll bring us an empty bag of crumbs, and he'll be mad that we're eating the crumbs. Thanks for the offer, man goo, but that's silly.

[Brett]

All right?

[John Holmberg]

That's like Putting Brady in charge. Yeah, he watched my ribs for a second. I'll be right back.

[Brett]

All right. We're a little. We're a little light today, but we'll get to it.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brett]

Here's some home repairs, guys.

[John Holmberg]

Putting a nail into a shot outside there looks like. Oh, he's got to remove it. He's got those nail removing crowbars, and he's 100 years old and he's shaky already. This. This is pointed directly at the old man's face. It might be AI set up. It does look set up. This is not how you remove a nail with. What is that thing called?

[Brett]

Crowbar.

[John Holmberg]

That is a crowbar, yeah. Oh, all right. The sound of.

[Toledo]

Come on, Brady.

[John Holmberg]

Brady Jr.

[Brett]

I missed the little fella.

[John Holmberg]

That was for Brady.

[Brett]

All right, how about this?

[John Holmberg]

The tribute for the late Brady. Oh, Jesus. We've taken a turn. All right. This is a massively. Oh, there's an injured face. Oh, and it's in place. The doctor walks up to the face that's laying in a hospital bed and grabbed it by the right facial cheek under the eye, and then just opened it. It has been completely split in half, and the skin's all. Oh, the eye's moving. That thing's alive.

[Brett]

Oh, it's alive. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. Its whole face skin has been. This is Ed Gein. Somebody watched Ed Gein.

[Brett]

And it's.

[John Holmberg]

This is a dead skin mask laying across someone's face, but it's still kind of attached. How did that happen? What injury is it that takes half of your face. Don't have. And goes in an inch. And it's like when they shave prime rib. Oh, that's what her face looks like.

[Toledo]

Come on.

[John Holmberg]

You want a thick cut, Rare. What do you want?

[Brett]

I mean, this is. And this next one here, it's no. It's no Stephen Hawking's, but here it is in real life.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Oh, it's a guy in a wheelchair going in a half. Half pipe. Oh, he's gonna make it. This is a huge pipe, though. What are we at? This is. Oh, it's a ramp is all it is. Oh, he's at one. Oh, he did not land it. No, no. Wheelchair guy just did what appears to be. I would assume that's that ski jump in the Olympics, but it's in the summertime desert. Yeah, yeah. And so you can. He's dead. Like the. They had to move the chair. No, he's moving.

[Toledo]

No, they had to remove the chair, though, from him.

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah, they have to get him out of it to take him to the hospital. But again, he can't move around. He might be okay because he wasn't moving to begin with.

[Toledo]

Yeah, right.

[John Holmberg]

You know, when he bounced out of the chair, that's it. It's just gonna look like on his back.

[Toledo]

I don't know. Whatever's left in his back.

[John Holmberg]

Well, no, he didn't have anything to begin with. Maybe he can't move his arms now, but his legs weren't working to begin with, so he's just laying there like he would have if you just knocked him over in the chair on the sidewalk. It just so happened there was kind of a cool jump in between. Now again, I. I reiterate, I'm not impressed when people in wheelchairs take risks. You don't have anything to lose. Oh, my God.

[Brett]

And it's moving person that is still.

[John Holmberg]

Alive that has been just splayed open by something I'm not. Is that a heartbeat I see? Yes, that is its heart still. That's a lung breathing. Oh, so his outside parts are. This is a. This isn't an accident.

[Toledo]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

This guy's insides are laying all around him as if they were placed there.

[Toledo]

Yeah, that's.

[John Holmberg]

This is a statement by the cartel. He ain't gonna make it. I'm telling you right now. Unless he starts scooping that stuff back in. That's it.

[Brett]

And that's all we'll do.

[John Holmberg]

That's it.

[Brett]

That's it.

[John Holmberg]

Brett, that was horrendous today. Okay? Brady will be back tomorrow. We'll get. Get some. Some normalcy there.

[Brett]

Oh, now. Now people are throwing you Pete's Fish and Chips.

[John Holmberg]

Pizza is great. Peach is good. Peach is what it is, and I like it because they're. I don't know if they still hold up to it, but you drive up and like, no cash.

[Brett]

Like what?

[John Holmberg]

No cash. We only do cash. I'm like, are you a laundering business? What are you writing a book? Do you want your chips or not? Drunken Pete's fish and chips. 44th street and Thomas. Forget about it. Great stuff. I like Pete's. Get a little Pete's Delivered. Still doesn't travel. Still doesn't travel.

[Brett]

Well, that's not as far, though.

[John Holmberg]

It's right there. Even a mile in the car is not good, man. Goop will tell you when he's eating bottom of the bag fries. And how many times has Mango said he'd deliver food to somebody? And then it gets there and he's like, oh, they forgot your fries. You know, they didn't they're in. You never let a big man deliver your food on purpose.

[Brett]

Frenchie just messaged, said, I'll have it to you guys in an hour. An hour.

[John Holmberg]

An hour of orange on silk. Come on. I don't want our shelf ljs. Yeah, I have a hip name for it. Cool. And there you go, everybody. That is your Brady Report with special Reporter Brett. It's 98. Hey, it's not weird.

[Toledo]

It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees.

[John Holmberg]

I have heard enough of this morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here.

[Brett]

Come on. No, no, he's not.

[John Holmberg]

He' not evil. He's just a bit rude. I guess the computer didn't want to hear the end of that song. All right, then what do we do next. Computer AI is taking over everything.

[Brett]

Computer's not a Metallica fan, apparently.

[John Holmberg]

That's enough. I've heard this song before. Next. What else you got? Homberg? We're wrapping her up early today. Signed computer.

[Brett]

Computer turns.

[John Holmberg]

Do whatever it wants.

[Brett]

Yeah, there you go.

[John Holmberg]

The computer wants to play Nirvana. It's come as you are. I'm not gonna fight it. This thing's scaring the hell out of me. It's 98 KUPD. God knows what's next. Morning sickness. 98 KUPD. Holmberg's Morning Sickness. Hopefully he's been appeased. All right.

[Brett]

Apparently he likes Nirvana.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, so far he didn't care for Metallica and he erased the rest of the day. So Toledo's got a long day ahead of him. And I'm not. I'm going to fall league baseball today. Screw this. I got an email from Devin and congratulate. Let's a quick congratulations, Brett for Devin, our listener, who is clearly married a really hot woman. He married her Saturday, and evidently he married, like, an insanely pretty woman. And I have proof of that through this says. This is a moment where Brett is going to say broads when the story's over. I was watching the Martial Arts starring Matt Damon with my wife. I married her Saturday in Vegas. Yes, a shotgun wedding. So she's hot now, but she's not gonna be soon. Cause it's. She's married or pregnant, I mean. Anyways, as we're watching the Martian, she turns to me and says, is this based on a true story?

[Brett]

Oh, my God.

[John Holmberg]

I'm the most sarcastic asshole I know. And the fact that I bit my tongue and explained to her, no, it's just a movie. But the science is sound means I deserve an Oscar. And yes, John, you're right. She is incredibly hot. Congratulations, Devin. You married a hot one. Smoke show. But you did something by you put a baby in her. So hopefully she's an ambitious hot one because otherwise this is gonna be a struggle. It's gonna be everything you don't remember. The Martian is not based on a true story. Sorry. Sorry to break it to you ladies.

[Brett]

That's up there with. With Chuck's girl.

[John Holmberg]

With who won? Who won. Who won the one war watching Gone with the Wind.

[Brett]

Before he.

[AI Voice]

Keep going.

[John Holmberg]

Who wins this war? Which war is. It's the Civil War. Who wins the West. He was going to marry her.

[Brett]

Oh.

[John Holmberg]

Till that. And then he said she was too dumb to marry. Like that just lived with him.

[Brett]

And was she a smoke show?

[John Holmberg]

She was pretty good.

[Brett]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

But he was right. Another tick up on the scale of 1 to 10 from 8 to 9. Right. You'd have tolerated that. Oh, okay.

[Brett]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

Just shy. You have to be a nut. Yeah. Yeah. You have to be a 9.4 or a 10 to ask who won the Civil War and not have anybody just leave the room. You know how hot you have to be to say who won the Civil War? And have people go, oh, I'll help you with that. Like, you have to be so hot to have that explained to you.

[Brett]

Like, if Margot Robbie said, it'd be like, oh, let me explain.

[John Holmberg]

She's Australia.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So she's like, you know what? I understand you don't. American history. But if American Margot Robbie said who won the Civil War?

[Brett]

I'd still put up with that. Still explain.

[John Holmberg]

So pretty that you probably shouldn't even need to know this. It's such an ugly story. The north one, it was close, though. I don't know which side you're on. So I don't. I don't want to piss you off. And then somebody else text and said, when's the next WNBA Finals game? Nobody even knows. Merc Mania. It's here tonight. Merc Mania's back in town. And I had to be reminded yesterday that I almost gave away half a million dollars. We were dabbling with my game of. You can't answer this simple question, which was, who's the coach of the Mercury? Random phone call out into the ether and thank Christ, that woman who didn't know.

[Brett]

You going to the pregame party.

[John Holmberg]

Going to the pregame party. Bert, it's pregame party tonight. Probably a Title 9, I'm guessing, is there whatever. And somebody else brought up a good idea since the gays weren't proud enough to march in June when it's gay pride month and they're going to muck our streets up here in October because it's only pride by convenience with weather concerns. So they're going to pride up our weekends. If the mercury win or lose, you have a parade for the mercury. You combo that up with a pride parade, the mercury will be happy because it looks like people showed up for that. Them, the gays will be happy that they got their pride parade in good weather. And it's all perfect. By the way, gays weather reports not favorable for your. Your delayed. You know it's supposed to pour this weekend. Supposed to rain this weekend. You can't. Again, gays only are prideful marching when the weather is convenient. You know how expensive those feather boas are? You know how many to have those dry cleaned. And I know they have them dry cleaned when they're done with them because they have to. But you can't have a bunch of downtrodden moistened by the weather. Gays having pride. That's. Nobody wants to parade in the dirt and mud. WNBA finals, by the way, highest ratings they've ever had since the very first one back in 1997, which was a one game finals in 1997. They too many. Let me ask you the this. What do you think? Let's keep in mind the super bowl is about, I don't know, runs in like 100 millions for viewership. Basketball last year had a terrible finals and they were running 10, 11 million per night. Baseball's the same. Not real great. Hockey had good numbers, but they're always lower. But their good numbers run at 7 or 8. Like really good for a final game. What do you think the highest rated WNBA game championship game has ever been?

[Brett]

It was broken to prove I don't hate broads. Let's go 200,000.

[John Holmberg]

Oh my God. What? Brett, we have more than that. All right, I know 1.9 million people tuned in. Those are skewed across. That's not just here locally. That's. That's the world fake.

[Brett]

They'll be outside of the Americas watching wnb.

[John Holmberg]

I agree with you. That was an ethnic estimate, so. And then it dropped off on Sunday to under 400,000 for the whole peaked at like 600. Because it's on a Sunday afternoon and I think we have something better to do. Yeah, I mean just a regular season.

[Brett]

My shoes would be better than watching.

[John Holmberg]

Well, tonight it's in town if you want to go. Tickets still available.

[Brett]

I'll meet you there. Oh, we should check those ticket prices again.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, See what those are going for. And the tattoo on the top of my head still holds Mercury, if you win a championship, I will tattoo to the mercury logo on my head. And by the way, this is the very first year they're doing a seven game finals. Normally it's five. I learned. I learned that two games ago, and it made me a little nervous that they had to go four out of five. The seventh. Yeah, I thought, yeah, used to be.

[AI Voice]

Five.

[John Holmberg]

Because nobody cared five times. Now they're trying to make them not care. Seven times. No way. It goes seven games. Anyway, what are you gonna do? So Mercury tonight. Brett, I also want to make another guess. I saw a farmer, a scientist on TV talking about how everybody's focused on the wrong things with global warming and global climate change and all this stuff, how we're eating the earth up. He says like 45% of all of global issues, weather, forests, ozone, whatever the is due to meat consumption because cows and farms and things like that and they to corn est all bad. How many pounds of meat do you think the world eats in a year?

[Brett]

I can't even guess.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, I'll say this. How many tons? This will knock you out. Just take a shot. A hundred tons?

[Brett]

Yeah. I'm not mad. This is one math class.

[John Holmberg]

It's only £20,000. I think Brady eats that. 350 million tons of meat annually. I can't. I don't even know what the math is.

[Brett]

Yeah, I don't either.

[John Holmberg]

It's like that's billions of pounds of meat. They said that if you were to take all the farms for. For meat, okay, it would cover Alaska or as Africa. So when you consider that that's all the farming and the cows and the meat then and the poop and the gas used and the water for growing stuff and all that, they're like, well, that's why our planet's in trouble. Not your suv. And our planet's not in that bit, but fill her up. So that's my message to all of you today. Sit at a stoplight, put your car in park and rev the engine a lot. Just gas it for no reason and.

[Brett]

Run off that stupid thing that turns a car. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Also just run it down to almost empty and just bury it.

[Toledo]

Because that's right. 700 billion pounds of meat.

[John Holmberg]

350 million. Yeah, that's right. 700 million pounds.

[Toledo]

Billion pounds.

[John Holmberg]

Seven ounce job. That can't be right. Is that right? 2,000 pounds 2,000 times billion pounds of. Times 350 million annually.

[Toledo]

Yeah. Million tons.

[John Holmberg]

That's insane. Yeah. I don't know if that's right or not because it's his numbers that my brain won't allow.

[Toledo]

But that's the numbers you gave. So times 2000 is £700 billion.

[John Holmberg]

Is that right? I'll take your word for it. How about that? So they said that all that takes up Africa and no one will talk about it because you know what would mean? We already aren't giving up our cars. We would have to stop eating meat the way we eat it. And we're not doing that. So we don't love the earth more than we love a nice filet.

[Toledo]

I know you just talked about it, John, but now take out Brady's portion and then find out.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, then it cuts down to £3 billion from 700. And Brady is going to. Look, the meat industry is about to take a pump punch. Brady's not allowed to eat what he used to eat because of this kidney problem. That was like, when my friend Kevin died. I noticed immediately that Coors stock dropped like the next day. Like there was a drop off in core sales that was massive when my friend Kevin died. Anyway, WNBA finals tonight.

[Brett]

There you go.

[John Holmberg]

They don't eat meat there, so be more like the Mercury. How much are the tickets?

[Brett]

$6,382 for courtside seats.

[John Holmberg]

Those were nine grand before. So they were.

[Toledo]

Went up?

[John Holmberg]

No, they went down.

[Toledo]

Oh, I thought you said there were five grand on Monday.

[John Holmberg]

Well, the. Were those. The five grand were the ones behind.

[Brett]

Well, that includes fees, though.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's nice. They've actually docked in the fees. So if you've got $12,700 to throw around, you can sit courtside at the worst basketball game of the year. And I'm saying it now. Go aces. Because if it goes 2:1, I start getting nervous about that tattoo again.

[Brett]

We need to get your guy on the line and get a sweet on there. We'll each kick in 10 bucks.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, if. Yeah, let's kick in 10 bucks or 15 guys and say $150. That's pretty good. Yeah, if they got an open suite.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Why would they turn a blind eye to our 150 offer? We'll give you 150. 450,000. No, it's girls basketball. $150American, most of it.

[Brett]

These tickets are in high demand and viewed by 198 people in the past hour. Yeah, that's what it says. Act fast.

[John Holmberg]

They're looking at them because they're. Can you believe this? Come here, look at this. Show it. And then that guy goes to his computer and shows, look at this. They're trying to give six grand. Yeah, that's why it's getting viewed so much. No one can believe someone's trying to get six grand for tickets. Front row, you get hit by a dildo. I don't want to sit in the front row. That's a dangerous place at a Mercury game.

[Toledo]

John, wait a minute. Did you say those girls played Sunday? It took them three days to travel and recover from Las Vegas to Phoenix to play another game.

[John Holmberg]

Yep. And I don't know if they're smart enough to say, well, we can't play Monday because that's Monday Night Football. But they didn't care about Sunday football because they played right in the middle of that. Nobody watched it. And then they took Tuesday off just because Tuesdays are for Postinos. I don't know. And then Wednesday they're playing again. So, yeah, it took them. It took them two days, in fairness, one travel day, one rest day, and now it's game day and they're playing tonight and they're short 40 minute games. So go with Oasis. That's how I look at it. Anyway, that's tonight. Keep your eyes on it. I know you're not going to watch, but the score in the end means something to me, so I got to keep my eyes on that. We got a Rock wars coming up in just a little bit and it's mano a mano. Let's be honest, it almost always is.

[Brett]

Bring in Larry. Oh, no. He's on his adventure.

[John Holmberg]

We don't need a third. Every time we have a third, it's the fifth dimension. So up, up and away. Wasn't going to win anyway today. Vegetable by the Beach Boys never had a chance. But we do like him for his fodder. But he's not here today, so we'll go, man on Rock wars coming up in just a little bit. It's 98. It's not weird.

[Toledo]

It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee.

[John Holmberg]

I have heard enough of this morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here.

[Brett]

Come on.

[Byron]

No, no, he's not.

[John Holmberg]

He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. 98 the Eve of Peter then I just. I'd be remiss, Brett, in not doing this. Our. Our good buddy Fitz. Montana Read Fitz. The Fitz in the afternoon show. Fitz. What's this show called the Fitz Program starring Fitz.

[Brett]

I don't even know Fitz. I think.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Anyway, Fitz has done a great thing and he. He did. I'll tell you this. I talked to him when he started doing this thing a while ago, and he had an idea and he pushed for it and he did this and he made all the content. I think Fitz. And he'll tell you that other people got involved, and I'm sure they did. I'm sure Amy helped out. I'm sure Larry was involved a little bit, but for the most part, this was fits and only fits. And he did this on his own because he wanted to, and he did a nice thing. And he started the. The giving and gaming deal where he was trying to raise money to help out, like, you know, for games and stuff for the Phoenix Children's Hospital. They got, you know, they need. They need entertainment stuff for the kids up there. And he did a bunch of different things. He did this by himself. Um, don't let him say other people take credit for it. No, it was an awesome deal and he. It was his little inspiration. Yesterday I was here in the Phoenix Children's Hospital. I didn't know who was here with Fitz. They were all chatting afterwards. I watched the big check walk by him, and it was written on. It was $10,401.22, which is just fantastic. So congratulations to our guy Fitz for. For just doing that. And that was simply for. From him caring. You know, that's a moment where he's like, I want to try something. I'm going to use this radio thing to try something. And we need to do it. It motivates us to do our own thing as well. We need to get on that and do a thing. Since they took our golf tournament away, all the things we tried to do, they keep making it harder for us.

[Brett]

What can we do?

[John Holmberg]

We'll find a hurdle and we'll jump it. That sounds like a nice thing, but good job by Fitz. $10,401 and 22 cents from Iron Balls McGinty, Fitz Radio. So nice job to our friend Fitz. I think that's awesome. All right, Brett. It's a mono a mano challenge for rock wars. You've got the upper hand on this.

[Brett]

How's that?

[John Holmberg]

Because you know where to find all these things, and I have to search. I want the two of us to jump into the future. A rock song that we want to be done by AI As a soul song or in any other genre but roc rock, because what we've discovered through Hot Releases is all these AI songs that are coming back. What was the one we played yesterday, though? Was it Soul Zombie and Limp Bizkit? Oh, yeah, Nookie.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

When Soul Zombie. Dragula was incredible.

[Brett]

Well, but we gotta.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he's dying. We lost him. All right.

[Brett]

But we can't do ones we've already done, right. Like Soul Zombies out.

[John Holmberg]

Because that.

[Brett]

That would probably win. That was amazing.

[John Holmberg]

Pick a song that is awesome to you. You. Because we also played one that wasn't as good, but it was all right, which was Black Hole sun as a pop song.

[Brett]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

And we plug it into the AI machine and we make it a soul song. And then afterwards, we determine between each other whose is better.

[Brett]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

That's today's Manto Man Rock Wars. How about that?

[Brett]

So we got. It's not here find when it's already created.

[John Holmberg]

No. Well, I think we can do it. It doesn't take long.

[Brett]

We do that.

[John Holmberg]

There's your Rock wars challenge. You just go to one of those sites that does AI My stuff. Or better still, Toledo's in the other room. He'll do it.

[Brett]

Oh, there you go. I like that.

[John Holmberg]

But we have us like a rock song.

[Brett]

You know, Metallica.

[John Holmberg]

No, Slayer.

[Brett]

Same rules.

[John Holmberg]

All rules apply.

[Brett]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

But a rock song you think would be like, holy crap, what would that sound like as a soul song? As a country song? If you think it's gonna be. But I'm not picking country and you're not picking country. Pop song, you know, reggae. You just think this song would sound. Would be a better hit this way.

[Brett]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Because what we found yesterday was Dragula might be better than the original, arguably as a soul song, which I never would have guessed. If you want to help out and throw a song our direction while we're working on the details of this. And then we're going to play AI versions of, well, very familiar rock songs, well known rock songs in their new style and see if we've created a. A bigger hit. We're going to play God with music today. You want to help us out, [e-mail] you can text 97936. We'll have our results next. It's 98 Morning Sickness. Holg's Morning Sickness. Don't show me that MU A I. Have you seen the ones where they're. They're the. The women's Olympics and they're like. And they're. There's a girls to the starting line and then there's a Firing pistol. And they just get up and start washing dishes. And the one who gets her husband a beer and hits her knees on like on a. It's AI's mean. But I can't stop giggling at it. Well, here we are. We're going to dabble in AI today. Brett on Tuesdays usually has an AI song that has taken a familiar song and made it soulful or some other way. I didn't care for Black Hole sun, but it was very good as a. A pop 80s thing. It wasn't. But Dragula as a soul song was incredible.

[Brett]

Soul Zombie was great.

[John Holmberg]

The one that you had a couple weeks ago with don't you forget about me.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And then even nookie. So our goal here today. And I have not heard my song yet. I plugged in a song.

[Toledo]

Oh, where do I start it?

[John Holmberg]

The beginning.

[Toledo]

Okay. All right.

[John Holmberg]

And you plug it in and you let it go. And it's a song I chose to hear it as. And this one came. AI kicked it back to me as a 60s like. What is it?

[Toledo]

Blues rock?

[John Holmberg]

Blues rock.

[Brett]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

All right. And you have yours.

[Brett]

I do.

[John Holmberg]

And so that's how it works. Rockworth, brought to you by our friends over at Momoney Pawn. If. If you go in there for a James Bond poster, they've erased the guns.

[Brett]

That's one place. They didn't.

[John Holmberg]

They would never. Those guys would never do it. But you want to head on over there because you know why? Shorter long term collateral loans from $10 to over $100,000. No credit needed. Top dollar seller paid the entire process just taking several minutes. Mo Money pawn.com. 12th street in Indian School. All right, Brett, here you go. First we'll just play as much as we can just to see if we want to taste it. All right, Ready?

[Brett]

I'm just gonna start it. I'm not even gonna sell it.

[John Holmberg]

All right, here we go. I see it on the screen. Yep. There we go. This might be brilliant. Can I play this?

[Brett]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Is it safe?

[Brett]

Listen, man, I'll just start it.

[John Holmberg]

I'm now about to witness the strength of street knowledge. This has curses and stuff. You're sure? Yeah. All right, hang on. He gets the man. Straight out of Compton by nwa yeah. What's he say?

[Brett]

Here we go.

[AI Voice]

Straight out of Compton. Crazy Mo named Ice Cube. Come on, gang called Fellas with attitudes.

[John Holmberg]

Fellas.

[Toledo]

A.

[John Holmberg]

There is no way my song is beating. You took a different angle. I knew you had. Damn it all. I want to hear that. All right. I just want to hear what mine Did.

[Toledo]

Did.

[John Holmberg]

I just want to hear it minded that win. We're not even going to contest. There's no way. Mine came back better.

[Toledo]

That's a mic drop.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't even think to go to rap. I. I didn't even think to go to rap. I threw in a rock song that I love and listen to all the time and think is awesome. And I tried and I. And AI said let's do it as a blues rock click. Go. Mine is Psycho social. That's a blues 60s blues rock band. So it turned it into like Grateful Dead.

[AI Voice]

Rocking in the sickening packaging subversion pseudo sacrosanct prop version. Go drill your deserts Go dig your graves Then fill your mouth with all the money you will save Sinking in begun I'm not the only one and the rain will kill us all Throw ourselves against the wall but no one else can see the preservation of the.

[John Holmberg]

Modern me Psychosocial Psychosocial I kind of dig it.

[Brett]

That's not bad.

[John Holmberg]

But I. It's not in comparison. No. I didn't even think to go down those roads. Rhodes, you win today. I'm not even going to take it to a vote. Brett. That's a championship run and I want to hear the whole damn thing there the only.

[Brett]

There was an S bomb that I did catch.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. And what do you want to come.

[Brett]

Over here and find a good piece of P that is still in there.

[John Holmberg]

So we'll have to.

[Brett]

We're gonna have to read the lyrics. But all the F bombs and everything and end bombs should be gone.

[John Holmberg]

Everybody's now on board. Like, think of that. Do Eminem.

[Brett]

Too.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. Do Eminem do. Yeah, you can. You can plug that one in. Dude, he wants lose yourself now.

[Brett]

This was. I found this one too. This one was what I was going to go with before I found that, but this is still counting G Funk style from volbe. Oh, let me start over here.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, come on, man. You have to in on this.

[AI Voice]

Counting all the in the room.

[John Holmberg]

Well.

[AI Voice]

I'm definitely not alone well, I'm not.

[John Holmberg]

Alone I want a whole station I'm telling you, you're a liar, you're a cheater, you're a fool.

[AI Voice]

That'S just like.

[John Holmberg]

Me O and I know you too it's Kiss 1230 the rhythm of the city don't exist my little friend got to ask what the going on now Take anything and make it groovy, baby and I do it again oh, that's fantastic.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Jesus. All right. Don't note to self don't play this game with Brett anymore. He's the AI Whiz kid. All right, we'll do it. We'll take a break and we'll come back and play that glorious straight out of Compton soul version. I'm dying here. Now. I want to. I'm with you guys. I want to hear Eminem, I want to hear Snoop. I want to hear all of it. Okay, we'll do that. That's next. Congratulations, Brad, on a hands down run. The only thing I think we missed out today was Brady struggling to figure out how any of this would have worked.

[Brett]

He'd have made some Devo song.

[John Holmberg]

Well, he wouldn't have been able to do it first off. Well, come on, you have to have like 12 apps. No, you just search and then do it. Plug it in. What the hell is Grock? All right, never mind. What's a sodos 2? I don't have it. Brady's dangerously close to that. My phone doesn't come with the clock. Yeah, they all have clocks.

[Toledo]

He's right there raising.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, you get progressive Rick. Dr. Rick is on his way. Brett, congratulations. That's a win. I'm happy to hand over. Tip of the cap. It's 98. It's not weird.

[Toledo]

It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees.

[John Holmberg]

I have heard enough of this for you. P.D. hornberg's morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude.

[AI Voice]

With a cat that's pointed at your ass. So give it up smooth ain't no telling when I'm down for a jack move? Here's a murder rap to keep y' all dancing With a crime record like Charles Manson, Nike 47 is the two don't make me act a move folk me you can go toe to toe no maybe I'm knocking fellas out the box daily, yo? Weekly, monthly and yearly until them dumbo posted clearly that I down with the capital CPT Boy, you can't mess with me? So when I'm in your neighborhood you better dub? Cause Ice Cube is crazy as as I leave believe I'm stating? But when I come back, boy, I'm coming straight out of Compton? Compton, Compton, Compton, City of Compton, City.

[John Holmberg]

Of Compton, City of Compton. What's up, Compton?

[AI Voice]

Another crazy ass fella mo punk I smoke, yo my rep gets bigger? I'm a bad mo fo and you know this? But the P ass Fellas won't show this but I don't give a muck Imma make my snaps if not from the racket from jacking off crabs just like burglary the definition is jacking and when I'm legally armed it's called packing shut a mo fo in a minute I find a good piece of P and go up in it so if you're at a show in the front row Imma call you a bitch, a dirty ass ho you will probably get mad like a bitch is supposed to but that shows me slut you're not opposed to crazy mo fo the streets attitude legit cause I'm tearing up MC ring controls are automatic for any dumb mofo that's not static, not the right hand cause I'm the hand itself Every time I pull an AK off the shelf the security is maximum and that's the law E Ian spells ran but I'm raw cause I'm the mofo villain the definition is clear your witness of a killing that's taking place without a clue and once you're on the scope your ass is through with look you might take it as a trip but a fella like Ren is on a gangster trip.

[John Holmberg]

Straight outta Compton Comping straight.

[AI Voice]

Outta Compton is a brother that'll smother your mother or make your sister think I love her Dangerous mofo raising hell and if I ever get caught I make bail see I don't give a that's the problem I see a mofa cop I don't dodge ain't but I'm smart lay low, creep a while and when I see a punk pass I smile to me it's kinda funny the attitude show showing a fella drive in but don't know where the heck he's.

[John Holmberg]

Going Just ride all in looking for.

[AI Voice]

The one they call easy Here's a flash still never sees me ruthless never seen the like a shadow in the dark except when I unload you see a spark and jump over hesitation and hear the scream of the one who got the lead penetration Feel a little gust of wind and I'm dead in believe a memory no one will be forgetting so what about the bitch who got shot?

[John Holmberg]

Fuck her.

[AI Voice]

You think I give a damn about a bitch? I ain't a sucker this is the autobiography of the E and if you ever mess with me you'll get taken by a stupid dope brother who was mother word to the mofo straight out of Compton.

[John Holmberg]

Let me say it for him damn, that was dope. That is awesome. Brad, Great win this.

[Brett]

Thank you.

[John Holmberg]

And for those who want to call in the Times. I didn't beep it. They're saying mucker.

[Brett]

Yes. Yeah, that's true.

[John Holmberg]

We listened. We made sure. I did miss one and I hit the button. But still, that was cool. Captain. Captain a Saxon. That's what I meant. It's going to be stuck in my head all day. Dumb AI is changing everything, man. I just watched MLK and Malcolm X Rap Battle. Basically. They started starting a. At a WWE event, challenging each other to a match.

[Brett]

I got to send that link out to everybody now.

[Toledo]

Everybody's just posted on our Facebook page.

[Brett]

That remix is phenomenal.

[Toledo]

She's the winner of Rockworth.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Brett]

I'll post it on. I'll put it on Facebook.

[John Holmberg]

It is incredible. Nice job. Yeah. Just put it up on our thing. We can't get sued by anybody. I don't think there's nobody to sue us. It's just. There it is. Yeah. Everybody. I'm getting the AI. Wow. I had no idea what the lyrics were. Thanks for making Straight out of Compton. So white folks and it's the old black. Like that was the thing that our grandparents complained about. That's so urban. Now it's the white version. That's the Carlton.

[Brett]

He's not wrong.

[Toledo]

You are 100% right.

[John Holmberg]

Anyway, that was. I loved every second of that. I like that they changed the N word to Fellas. Yeah. Because then we can sing it. We can. Gladly. Maybe I'll do that if I listen to the original. Sometimes I'll just change it. Changed that to Fellas with Attitude. That's the way I'd say it. Anyway. Ah. It's good stuff. Nice job, Brett. Good wine stunk by comparison. And I kind of like mine. 10 out of 10. Thank you, AI. Life's going to get very weird soon. That was cool. And you can do it to all sorts of different songs. Take some time. You got to get all your stuff in a row and you can't do it on your phone. I found that out. You gotta do it.

[Toledo]

It's not easy to do on your phone. It's easier if you go to the website. The website that I've been looking at is the Sona one. The one that was doing all the videos yesterday. Version 3.5 is out. Now you got to pay for version 5.

[John Holmberg]

Game changing compared to the first. And again, everything we're seeing. I keep saying this with technology and it's scary to think of it this way. And it's true of all of it but it's scarier right now because of how fast stuff goes. But everything you're seeing is the worst this sono will be.

[Toledo]

Exactly.

[John Holmberg]

Today is the worst version. It's going to be going forward. Tomorrow it will be better and the next day it'll make the this look dumb. That is incredible. Incredible. And thank you so much. Actually got to say thanks to David Spade who was listening yesterday. Evidently I was at the airport and our our friend Jimmy was with him and he said yeah, I listened to the guys on KP this morning. Really enjoyed, and this is a great phrase, really enjoyed the Jesus Hitler stuff. You know what, glad we could help. So thanks Dave. Every know who's in town so he doesn't stop by or call anymore. That's the Jew in me. You don't stop by. You never call. I mean, how do I even know you're in town without friends? Email. Come on now. What a great show today, Brady. You missed some good stuff. You know, not according to Dale kicked off with you. Dale is an antagonist. We kicked off with Juke Crank. We finish up with this. What a show. It's time now for the entertainment drill. It's brought to you by our [e-mail] it is the home attack tactical black. To get into that thing and you know, soon enough you won't even have to leave the house. But you should still defend yourself just in case because you might have to fight off AI robots someday. I don't know if we have technological advancements ready for that yet. But I'll tell you right now, if you want to be better and get in better shape, feel good about yourself, you heard what Brett said earlier. The average weight of a man nowadays is 200 pounds. That's 35 pounds heavier than it was in 1970. If you did 35 pounds every 15 years, that means that Jesus probably weighed about 4 pounds. And that's if we just kept it that way. Going from point zero to go. We're putting on weight too fast. Everybody's got to get in better shape. No better workout than one that entertains you as well. And that's what they [e-mail] not boring, not a treadmill. Not one of those Barney gyms that bugs you all day long about it gets you going every day. Have a new thing for you, multiple different routes a day. You can do the bag classes. You can do. You can do the self defense class. You can do the elite training to get your cardio going. You can do all sorts of different things. And plus their seminars are amazing, incredible stuff available to you every day and right here in our beautiful city. So let's take advantage of it, get in better shape. Phoenix and the way to do it and also get smarter while you do it is reactdefense.com that's the home of tactical Black. Brett, entertain me the way Brady does.

[Brett]

All right, here we go. Taylor Swift. Everybody's sick of hearing about her, but everybody always wonders how come she's not doing the halftime show. And she basically said she's too, you know, she's too locked in on Travis. Once he retires, maybe she'll consider doing it. So she's too.

[John Holmberg]

I think the worry would be that if the Chiefs made it to the super bowl and it was in a like, let's say the Eagles had a lot of fans there last year. Or let's say they play a team like Dallas that travels well or the packers that travels even better or a bigger city and they just boo her incessantly because she's the wife of one of the other players. I think that's the smart thing to do. So they say it's like, oh, I'm just too into the. They're worried about a bad response from teams that, you know, if she's playing in the half and plus it would look rigged. It was if the Chiefs made it and she's the pre announced halftime show. It's like, oh, they're going for the soap opera. So they got to be careful with that.

[Brett]

The way the Chiefs are playing so.

[John Holmberg]

Far, they look good.

[Brett]

Could have done it this year.

[John Holmberg]

Looks pretty safe. I'll you tell. Tell you that. All right.

[Brett]

Apparently in the, in the movie Titanic, Leonardo and Kate wanted a certain scene cut out of the movie. And James Cameron said, hell no. And it's the one where he's teaching her how to spit.

[Toledo]

Oh, I thought it was.

[Brett]

He's like, he goes, it's one of the most popular scenes in the movie.

[John Holmberg]

I guess you never teach a woman to spit. I hated this. I know. Exactly. So 19 teens of him.

[Brett]

List of the best.

[John Holmberg]

This movie should have been like. Unless Leo and Kate were like, you know, Mr. Cameron, I'd like to talk to you about that. I don't think a good woman would be taught to spit. She would be taught to swallow. And that was like maybe Leo was teaching her to swallow. That would have been a more memorable scene. But for all guys, that scene is forgettable.

[Brett]

All right. The best dog performances in movies and TV shows have been ranked best dog number 10. I'll just give you number 10 because it's all 22 labs that were in Marley and Me because I apparently they.

[John Holmberg]

Use 22 and there's that new movie where the dog is supposedly the hero. I forget what it's called, but I don't want to watch it. I, I, I'm at. I'm smart enough to know now that all dog movies include a dog death and I can't do it. My dog Skip. My dog Skip turned me into a blithering baby girl.

[Brett]

I wouldn't watch it.

[John Holmberg]

You don't. And it's great. But my God, the dog always dies. Dies. So this I don't do it. So I don't like dog movies because I was from a child on I've shane Old Yeller where the red fern grows. Marley and Me wasn't even good and I still sobbed at the end, you know.

[Brett]

Jesus, Marley me didn't make it good.

[John Holmberg]

Cuz it wasn't a good movie. Morning sickness Medicate KUPD Holmberg's morning sickness. I would say Old Yeller is a pretty good performance. He had to fight the javelina and the hydrophobe.

[Brett]

Eddie from number four.

[John Holmberg]

Old Yeller?

[Brett]

Yeah, Spike was his real name.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no kidding. Old Yeller's real name is Spike?

[Brett]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Interesting. Let's see a good dog performance. Remember the TV show from Frazier? Here's Boomer. Oh, it's tv Also yes. Eddie from Frasier was probably a top. No. Is here's Boomer on there at all?

[Brett]

No, nobody remembers here's years airbuds on there. The artist Benji.

[John Holmberg]

Benji. Yeah.

[Brett]

How we missing Benji Higgins and Ben Jean were the two dogs that they used on there.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding. All right, the dogs from K9 did.

[Brett]

Not make the list.

[Toledo]

No Apollo?

[John Holmberg]

Nope.

[Brett]

Jesus, Beethoven.

[John Holmberg]

Come on.

[Brett]

Which is Chris? The St. Bernard.

[John Holmberg]

The wolves from Twilight. Were those real? The b. How about the, the direwolves from Lord of the Rings? Yeah, Game of Thrones now it's kind.

[Brett]

Of traditional on some of them. All right, Terry. The wizard of Oz.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, the toto Terry. I didn't know that either. Bert's teaching today.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And then of course Rin Tin Tin and Lassie.

[Brett]

Well, let's see if you can. Let's see if you can figure out which dog this is. All right, pal. Then the dog played the couple dogs played the same role. Pal. Baby Meyer Spook.

[John Holmberg]

Oh God, it's true.

[Brett]

No, it's really her.

[John Holmberg]

Of course we don't think you made it up.

[Brett]

So are you talking number one Lassie oh, yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Number one is Lassie. That was Lassie. That's all the dogs that played Lassie.

[Brett]

Indians of Nova Scotia. Duck trolling retriever from Good Boy was number two.

[John Holmberg]

Good Boy. Good Boy.

[Brett]

Yeah, I don't remember that one.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I. Somebody. Good Boy is the. That's the movie I'm talking about.

[Brett]

Oh, is that it?

[John Holmberg]

Okay, yeah, if that's the new one. There's been two or three movies called Good Boy, so that would have to be the modern one for no reason at all. Somebody just. Hunter just said, please review the NWA as Jim Rome. Why? Oh, well, go ahead, say great song, a great performance. I mean, those fellas are my fellas. In fact, I'm gonna go ahead and say it, Bert. They're my fellers. I'm going hard R on oh, no.

[Byron]

Nice.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna go hard R on how good those fellers were. That song was amazing. And I can listen to it. My car with the windows down. Cuz prior to that I couldn't. I look like a crazy person. A crazy mofo. NWA as a soul band doesn't get much better than that. Thank you. You're welcome.

[Brett]

Thank you. All right. LeBron James apparently faked out a bunch of fans by hinting at a retirement. And it was all in the Hennessy commercial.

[John Holmberg]

And it was a stupid thing is get ready for the second announcement or something. Because he set it up the same way as when he did that arrogant nonsense when he left Cleveland and said, I'm taking my talents to South Beach. Well, first off, there's no F in South Beach. And second, nobody cares. Everyone hates you, LeBron. You're the. You're the most. He's the most talented and longest lasting superstar that no one cares about at all. And here's the other thing about LeBron that people get mad at. And here's the fun about the NBA. I can talk about this and no one's going to to call me a man hater. Talk about women this way and WNBA gets up in arms, you could lose your job here. I can hate LeBron out loud, and I do. And LeBron's bigger problem is he as. As honestly one of the best players to ever play the game. I don't put him past Jordan, but I mean, as one of the best players to ever play the game, one thing he did not do was change the game. Right?

[Brett]

That's true.

[Toledo]

Steph changed the game.

[John Holmberg]

Steph changed the game. So if you've got an argument for greatest of all all time, totally agree. Kareem. Is never in the argument and needs.

[Toledo]

To be change the game.

[John Holmberg]

Magic never in the argument and needs to be because Magic didn't put up 50 points a game, but he was an assist machine and he was 69 and ran the floor.

[Brett]

Bird.

[John Holmberg]

Bird changed the game. Although phenomenal shooter and just a. Just a great player. So. But changed the game in that, you know, 6 foot 10 guy is now shooting. Shooting threes. That never happened. Start looking forward to that. Michael Jackson or Michael. Michael Jackson changed the game because when he played it was horrible. Michael Jordan changed the game and Steph Curry changed the game. So if you want to go. Kobe didn't change the game. LeBron didn't change the game. But they are great players. Cujo wasn't on the list.

[Brett]

Cujo did not make the list.

[John Holmberg]

Turner and Hooch not on the list.

[Brett]

No. Apparently there was going to be a Hulu documentary for Bill Belichick's first year coaching at unc.

[John Holmberg]

Cancel that.

[Brett]

That is gone.

[John Holmberg]

Watch that. Unless there's a sex scene.

[Brett]

No, don't, because we'll run through the celebrity birthdays real quick. BELLA Thorne turning 28. We were just looking at pictures all.

[John Holmberg]

Over TMZ and she's just got dirty slut sexy pictures all over. I don't know if she is that, but boy, those pictures sure are sexy.

[Brett]

Angus T. Jones.

[John Holmberg]

Now the kid from 32. Is he really? Yeah. Is he from again. Angus. Angus T. Jones.

[Brett]

Bruno Mars just turned into big four four zero.

[John Holmberg]

He's 40.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Bruno's been at it for 20 years. He's just now 40.

[Brett]

Yeah. Matt Damon, 55. Sigourney Weaver, 76. Chevy Chase, 82 years old. Jesse Jackson, 84. And the Crocodile Dundee. Paul Hogan, 86.

[John Holmberg]

Crocodile Dundee's 86.

[Toledo]

He's still alive. I believe that he is.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I think so. Okay.

[Brett]

And then Toledo. Hannah, we talked about this last, I think two days ago, but Rush getting back together to do a few limited dates with a new drummer. And I think it's only about seven or eight dates here and it's always a big one. You know, Los Angeles, Chicago, New York, Toronto, Cleveland, stuff like that. But they're going to be celebrating 50 years plus of Rush.

[John Holmberg]

I don't care if this girl is a better drummer than Neil Peart.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I don't want to hear Getty Lee at 70something singing those songs.

[Brett]

Yeah, he was. I saw him on their last tour and he was great. He was trying to. But he's. He's struggling a little bit. He's not Hitting them the way he used to.

[John Holmberg]

Let's just say somebody sent me a video and you told me this before. Somebody sent me a video yesterday. I said, can you believe this? He's 82 and it's Roger Daltrey hitting the.

[Brett]

Oh, dude.

[John Holmberg]

Screen A madman in Fooled Again.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And he hits the scream on absolute point. And he looks like he's 82 and he moves like he's 82. Then he does that scream. You're like, that can't be real. Yeah, it was. Yeah. So, I mean, it's not impossible, but I don't think Geddy Lee is going to hit those notes properly. No. Play the bass.

[Brett]

That's by the way, Stranded Compton. I posted it on our Facebook page. So if you're looking for the link, it is right there.

[John Holmberg]

That was awesome. And somebody says, that was funkin great. You're right, Rob. It was. It's 10:12. That's it for us. Larry's on his excellent adventure once again. How'd that happen? Already he's got his tundra. He's out tooling around down south of Tucson or something. I don't know where he's going this year, but he's going to have a an adventure. And that's going to result in money for you. He's hunting for you. So when he comes back, he'll have money. In the meantime, our good buddy Shan man's here filling in for Larry. So be nice to Shannon and he'll be nice to you. You guys have a great one. Brady's back tomorrow. It should be fun. Nice job. The Jew up show has come to an end.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Now I enjoyed myself.

[Toledo]

It'll return.

[Brett]

That's fun.

[John Holmberg]

Are you predicting the death of Brady? You've had a rough day with these. Just quick flipping responses. I'm not fat and Brady's got coming back. That's it. You guys have a good one. We'll see you tomorrow on the morning sickness. It's not weird.

[Toledo]

It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees.

[John Holmberg]

I have heard enough of this.