10-09-25 - FULL SHOW - THURSDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Holmberg’s Morning Sickness - Episode Summary

Podcast: Holmberg's Morning Sickness 98 KUPD
Air Date: October 9, 2025
Cast: John Holmberg (Host), Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo

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Episode Overview

In today's episode, Holmberg and crew deliver their signature irreverent, comedic banter, covering everything from technical issues in the studio to hot sports takes, WNBA finals side bets, Ozempic side effects, haunted hotels in Vegas, bizarre medical stories, celebrity mishaps, and the usual saucy blend of local Arizona flavor. The full team is back—Brady returns from Ohio, leading to a celebration of his “two day work week” and a lot of friendly jabs.

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Key Discussion Points & Segments

Studio Woes & Tech Rants

Timestamps: 00:15–07:30

• The show opens with Holmberg and the gang lamenting the sorry state of their studio equipment—broken computers, malfunctioning boards, and unreliable phones:
  • John claims makeshift engineer status, “I'm a f**king engineer at this point... my technique is punching the equipment and then lying about it later.” (02:14)
  • Hilarious anecdotes about engineers, including "Super Queen" the gay engineer whose penchant for new equipment is openly praised, and “Ray,” notable for arriving drunk at 3am (04:29).

WNBA Bets & Sports Commentary

Timestamps: 07:26–13:00

• Holmberg’s on-air promise to tattoo the Mercury logo on his bald head gets escalated as Phoenix Mercury spiral out of contention:
  • On air: “If they win the championship, I’ll grow out my hair and braid it like Brittney Griner... I will have Brittney Griner's predator hair.” (08:57)
  • The bit spirals as listeners text in, leading John to jokingly offer to get breast implants matching the Mercury’s biggest player if they win four games straight: “If the Mercury come back, I will have breast implants put into my body... Girl power, we'll call it.” (12:07)
  • The Mercury are firmly down 0–3 to the Vegas Aces, making these stunts a "safe" bet.

Memorable Moment:

• “You know what it took to make people interested in the WNBA? A man doing fun things.” – John Holmberg (11:04)

Ozempic, Weight Loss Drugs, and Unexpected Consequences

Timestamps: 13:00–21:55

• Extended riff on Ozempic and similar diabetes drugs now used for weight loss. The crew skewers users who’d rather risk bizarre side effects than exercise.
  • Side effects run from "sulfurous burps" (mistakenly called "bumps" at first) to “surprise pregnancies,” drawing out incredulous laughter and plenty of disgusted jokes.
  • “You know what never causes a surprise pregnancy? Working out.” – John Holmberg (13:12)
  • Sulfurous “bumps” and rotten-egg body odors become a recurring joke (“I look good, but I smell like an ashtray!” – 20:55)

Memorable Quote:

• “Would you take that chance of unwanted babies? Jowls, whatever. Unexpected pregnancy? Yeah, I'm out.” (14:54)

Ghost Stories, Vegas Hotels & The Skeptic’s Take

Timestamps: 36:28–47:31

• The El Cortez in Vegas is offering $5,000 to stay and hunt ghosts for a weekend.
  • John’s all in: “I am one who does not believe in ghosts... statistically I will stand on this forever—zero accounts of humans ever being harmed by ghosts, ever.” (37:32)
  • The team roasts the hotel décor, the idea of “sulfurous” hauntings, and ghost hunters in general.
  • Hilarious segue to Disneyland’s haunted house: “A lady dropped dead in the haunted house yesterday... but the Haunted House will remain open through the holiday!” (47:06)
• The crew’s conclusion: Ghosts cause zero harm, and John pitches a new career as a “Ghost Exterminator” for rich retirees.

Accidental Celebrity Encounters

Timestamps: 54:17–66:01

• Gene Simmons of KISS passed out and hit a parked car after leaving an Arizona appearance (fictionalized for humor).
• Extended bit: What celebrity would you pick to crash into your car? Is it worth $5,000? The crew fantasizes about meeting stars via fender benders.
  • On meeting Margot Robbie: “Well, if you want to keep this off insurance and out of the paper, since you ran me, I get to ram you.” (68:42)

Wild Medical & Internet Stories

Timestamps: 94:30–108:17

• Discussion about medical oddities: A man arrives at a Florida hospital with a full-size thermos lodged in his rectum. “I've seen the capabilities of the human anus multiple times. Thank you, Mr. Ve. And this no longer shocks me.” (95:17)
• The crew riffs on internet gross-out videos (pole-vault gone wrong, cyst and abscess removals, breastfeeding oddities), challenging each other's stomachs.

Kellen Erskine Interview (Comedian Guest)

Timestamps: 110:11–129:57

• Kellen Erskine (standup comic) joins for a breezy interview about performing for therapists, AI fears, and life as a bald man.
• Holmberg asks about AI and art, and Kellen shares worries about creative theft via AI and TikTok (“...someone took the audio and lip-synced themselves, like in their bathroom. You think that guy had an audience of 300 people laughing at him?” –125:07).
• The guys riff on hot air balloon stand-up gigs in Albuquerque and the joys (or horrors) of family time.
• Kellen’s Words of Wisdom: “Unplug AI and go outside... right after you come see my show.”

Football Talk with Dale Hellestre (Analyst, ex-Cowboys)

Timestamps: 130:20–167:41

• Football analyst Dale Hellestre joins for signature argumentative banter with John.
• Heated debate over Cardinal’s coach Gannon hitting a player after a blown play—a punch, a “grab,” a necessary coaching move, or a fireable blunder? The guys are split, lobbing insults (“You’re too stupid to have a nuanced conversation with a grownup” – John, 157:39) and defending old-school coaching vs. modern sensibilities.
• Bets, picks, and more trash talk about the Bengals, Cowboys, Packers, and more.
• Closing: “Let’s see how smart you are... Brett, he should have paid the money as a matter of fact.”

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Notable Quotes

On Sports Bets:

• “If they win it all, I'll have Brittney Griner's predator hair. If they come back, I’ll get breast implants as big as the Mercury’s biggest player.” – John Holmberg (08:57, 12:07)

On Ozempic Side Effects:

• “You look good but you smell like an ashtray!” – Holmberg (20:55)
• “Would you take that chance of unwanted babies? Jowls, whatever. Unexpected pregnancy? Yeah, I'm out.” (14:54)

On Ghost Hunting:

• “Statistically, zero accounts of humans being harmed by ghosts.” – (37:32)
• “Five grand? Yeah, I’ll hunt your ghosts. I’ll trash the room and tell you a ghost did it.” (38:23)

Best Skewering of Celebrity Encounters:

• “If you want to keep this off insurance and out of the paper, since you ran me, I get to ram you.” – (68:42)

On Modern Football Culture:

• “You’re too stupid to have a nuanced conversation with a grownup.” – John to Dale (157:39)
• “Nobody’s ever hurt by a ghost—it’s like being afraid of lightning bugs!” – (45:00)

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Episode Highlights by Timestamp

• 00:15 – 07:30: Tech trouble stories, engineer rants
• 07:30 – 13:00: WNBA bets, Mercury finals, escalating side bets
• 13:00 – 21:55: Ozempic, weight loss drugs, wild side effects
• 36:28 – 47:31: El Cortez ghost hunt promo, skepticism, haunted house at Disneyland
• 54:17 – 66:01: Celebrity car crash fantasy, Gene Simmons bit, who would you want to hit your car?
• 94:30 – 108:17: Medical oddities, gross-out videos, “what fits in my ass” jokes
• 110:11 – 129:57: Comedian Kellen Erskine in-studio, AI discussion, hot air balloon comedy riff
• 130:20 – 167:41: NFL picks, Cardinals coach controversy, Dale and John’s “punch” debate
• 171:39 – end: Entertainment news, celebrity tipping stories, Dolly Parton health update and jokes

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Tone & Style

The episode is irreverent, playful, sharply satirical, and peppered with insults, quick-witted banter, and graphic descriptions. Much of the episode’s impact comes from the crew’s chemistry and improvisational style—the humor is rapid-fire and references roam freely from local Arizona color to pop culture, sports, and internet trends. If you like your mornings with a heavy dose of mayhem, this is your show.

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For listeners who missed it:
This episode is a prime example of why Holmberg’s Morning Sickness is Arizona’s #1 morning show—utterly unpredictable, sometimes gross, brilliantly funny, and never afraid to hit taboo or controversial subjects head-on (often making fun of themselves in the process). From sports bar farce to celebrity fender benders, rebellious humor rules.

Transcript

[A]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[B]

You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil. Sitting right here. Come on.

[C]

No, no, he's not.

[B]

He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. Things are broken. Good morning, everybody. Hello there. Welcome to the morning sickness. I got. Everything's busted. Oh, no, we're good. I'm working on it as I speak. We're working on what I got going on. It is 5. 45. My name's John. Look who's back. It's Brady. Brady Bogan is home for his two day work week, which we gotta love. I want. I want that to be the future.

[D]

First time ever. This is unbelievable.

[B]

Everybody talks about a four day work week. You figured out a two day work week. And that, my friend, is the future. If you ask me, that's fantastic. Brett's here, Toledo's here. We're all back in our seats and everything's back in order and good again. Except for now that the computer, which has been a mess all week, is not cooperating in any way.

[D]

So we didn't get a new board while I was gone?

[A]

Or phones?

[D]

Did we get new phones?

[B]

This doesn't even turn on. You're right over here. You're over here today. Yeah. No, no. Oh, God, Brady. While you were gone, things got worse. Oh, I've got.

[C]

I've got.

[D]

That's not going on.

[B]

Is that not working? How about that now?

[D]

I don't know.

[B]

This one's none of those work. Toledo's isn't on either.

[D]

There's something.

[A]

Hello.

[B]

Hello. There you go. You got this one.

[A]

Got my old one back.

[B]

Yeah, I don't know how that happened. Wait, say it again.

[C]

No, no, no.

[D]

Hello.

[B]

All right, there we go.

[C]

His.

[B]

All right, we're good again. Look at that. I fixed it. There we go. I'm. I'm a engineer at this point.

[D]

Mike ninja.

[B]

I have to Fonzie so much stuff in here. And you guys see my technique, which is punching the equipment and then lying about it later. And I say it on the air. I punch. I lie. They asked me if I punched. Dear God, no. I would never punch such precious materials. And they're like, all right, all right. But I. I do.

[D]

Then we produce the Ray Rice video, right?

[B]

Okay, fine. Fire me. I don't care. Fix it. That somebody should be fired. Somebody's got to fix something around here eventually, right? This thing turns off on us constantly.

[A]

So anyway, I think my Commodore 64 back in 87 worked better than this system. Yeah, Ridiculous.

[B]

Even our engineer Dave's like, look, it's technology for the sake of technology. This all sucks. And I'm like, oh, it's not his fault. You know, he's got. It's a lot. And I can't imagine it's just us, but we're getting out. Look at. Look what I've done. Nice. I just. You know what? I need an engineering like thing on my. I need to get it on. My signature on my email says also head engineer David Mahoney show kslx. That's what I'm gonna put it right on there.

[A]

Well, if this radio thing don't quite work out for you, you always got, you know, you always got something.

[D]

Fall back.

[B]

Yeah. How you doing? You guys call about a computer issue? We sure did. It's not really. How's your printer work now? It's. It's actually working. That was fantastic. Excellent job. So can I punch it? I wouldn't recommend that. You should probably pay me to do that. That's the first thing you do. You unplug it and plug it back in. And if you can't find the plug, like all this stuff is just floating in the air, then you punch it. And worst comes to worse, you. You break it completely. So they have to replace it. That's my theory. If you break something absolute, then they can't just come, you know, ham and egg it back together. They have to absolutely replace it. And that's my goal. With broken equipment. I did. I learned that way back when my little sound effects machine broke. And our engineer came in and I watched him solder a wire to another wire. And then he had the nerve to tell me, they buttoned over here on the right. Now only work on the left. And I'm like, what do you mean? Well, your play button is now number 21. And number 21 is. They've reversed. Like, this thing doesn't work. Oh, it works fine. You just have to. And I'm like, no, no, it doesn't work. So the next time I just took it and I held it about six feet above the floor and dropped it onto concrete, knowing that that would gut it. And then I said, yeah, it didn't work. You're a little fixed. We gotta get a new one. I'm like, ah, what a shame. What a shame. Imagine that. Highly recommend. My system soldered the wrong. Oh, he soldered. Just. He put something that fell apart back Onto something else. And then he was smart enough to look and go, well, I did fix it. It works. It's just in all the wrong spots. It was rigged to his benefit. And then so he's like, you figure it out. I'm like, oh, I will. And then I broke it completely. Ray was an engineers, and IT guys all get mad when you ask him to do something. Hey, man, this isn't working. What did you do? It doesn't matter what I did. It's not working. I'm gonna punch it. Did you hit it? No. Good Lord, no. I would never.

[A]

Well, Ray was the guy that he was never heard during the day. He'd show up at 3 in the morning when I was on the air smelling like the Jack Daniels distillery. There's a few things. I'm like, there's.

[B]

You're the only way he's still alive.

[A]

Yeah, because the bar's closed to two, so.

[B]

Yeah, because he had to be 80.

[D]

I don't think he's listening right now.

[B]

No way. No way. If he's alive. He's just. He's like, you know, screaming, I got leeches on my head and there's a contrails. He's lost it. There's no way. And then we had super queen for a while, who would outwardly admit, well, I don't know what's going on in here. I can't fix any of this stuff. All you gotta do is order a new one. And I'm like, this is an engineer I can get behind.

[D]

He got things done.

[B]

Well, he just. And he pissed off every owner ever because he's like, I just bought a brand new one. You're spending all the money. Well, this stuff doesn't work. Got put new stuff in. Best part about having a gay engineer is they don't like old things unless it's shabby chic. Otherwise, they're going full modern. They remodel with new stuff and they overspend. Money is no object to them. No, they've got a. Got a man at home. They're both making full salaries. I'm not on any budget. It's your money. You're a billionaire trying to save pennies. I'm just gonna put a new one in there and make this thing work. You want it to work or no? I'm like, never fire that gay man ever. Ever. And then, of course, he threw his back out. Not working. Can't imagine how. Oscar and I used to. We went out this weekend and my back hurts so bad. I'm like, I'm not asking any questions. That's all right. I'm gonna tell you anyway. So I was bent over backwards on this thing, and Oscar was inside me. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. You should just fix things and don't tell stories. Oscar was his Filipino boy. You want to talk about stereotypes that are real? We went to his birthday party, Oscar's birthday party, and there was a Filipino family there. First off, the food I don't consider stereotypical. That's just, you know, that's just their way, you know, that's not a stereotype. That's just cultural. But I will say that karaoke is not cultural. That's all over, and those dudes will not let the whites go first if it's in their backyard. There was 14 dudes. That was great. Now who's next? I think John is next. No, no, no, no, no, no. But we have to get Asuka, then Marty, then Maria. They all go up first, then John. Oh, all right. I'm not gonna sing to you guys.

[A]

I just ran between your legs and got up to the table before you.

[B]

Yes. I get up here, I do my song, then John. Come on. Get out of my dream. Oh, yeah. Get into my car. And it's hilarious. But that is a stereotype. That's very real.

[D]

But then some are. You know, that's how they discover the singer.

[B]

Oh, look, Journey. That's all karaoke.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

You're gonna.

[B]

Every once in a while, you get to 10 or 11 people who are just. And then one dude is like, okay, that guy said he's to the next level. He's going for it. He's having his Pam Anderson moment here. But it's, you know, very. I don't think anybody's been discovered at the Grapevine, so if you want to go over there and sing, have fun, you might be the best there.

[D]

Still trying. Yeah.

[B]

The best there that night. But you're not. You're not getting any record deals. Just going to get a lot of praise from people who aren't very good. And speaking of things that aren't very good, Brady, you weren't here on Monday when I made my claim on the air. I believe it was at 6:25 that I would get a mercury tattoo on the top of my head if, in fact, those women won the championship. Now down 03 to the Las Vegas Aces. Happy to hear it. Happy to watch a little bit of that game last night and then giggle. And then, of course, other good things were on tv. It's so brilliant. The WNBA to put their finals up against NFL football on a Sunday afternoon, and then the other games are during multiple Major League Baseball playoff games. They're super smart, and I came up with a theory of why they do it. If they didn't have competition from male sports to wreck their ratings, then if they had bad ratings, it would be just on them.

[A]

So no excuses.

[B]

So, yeah, so, yeah, if they've got excuses like, well, we're still, you know, they're still struggling to get the.

[D]

So only so many places.

[B]

Eyes on us. Yeah. And they're, you know, we're. We're up against some big. Some, you know, MLB playoffs and then, you know, football. So they're only. They're not putting it in a standalone position and they're raving about their ratings, which are a million people nationally that gets you canceled on any other show. I mean, unless you can have some.

[D]

Good viral videos coming.

[B]

Well, sure, if you've got a dildo flying around, that's awesome.

[D]

They could podcast the game.

[B]

That was the most attention they got this year. I remember CNN is the only one that's managing to. And MSNBC as well. If you look at the ratings that those you're like, wow, they're under 500,000 viewers. And their evening programming, which is. That's hard to do and stay afloat. I don't know how they're doing it, but WNBA is better than that. But, you know, but you combo them up and again, their excuses. Well, we're the same. We're basically the same message. So you combo us up. We're doing pretty well, but problem is you're not. But the mercury are down.03. And to that, I say thank you. The ladies of the Merc are very giving, I suppose, about how they're. They're allowing me to not have to worry about that tattoo. And now that they're down.03, I'd like to double down on this. I'd like to. I'd like to double down on it in old English letters. Oh, by the way, it's the 9th of October, so you can watermark this and time stamp it. 5:55am 10, 9, 25. Not only if they win the championship, come back and go four and, oh, I will get the Mercury tattoo on my head. Also, if they win the championship, I will grow out my hair and braid it like Brittney Griner and never cut it again in my life, ever. I will have Brittney Griner's hair if they go all the way through. Now, that's Going to take some time, but I will remove clippers and scissors from my life and grow out what's left of my hair and look like a mangy dog with a tattoo. Remember being a bald man. It's really not going to come in. So you're going to see under the hair on top of my head, the Mercury's logo on my head, and I will have Brittney Griner's predator hair. I think so too. If they win it all. So that's it. You want to add something else to that, Brett? Oh, I'll wrap my car with a I love the Mercury wrap as well. I'll spend a lot of money on this. So if that happens, they go 40 and you're welcome, WNBA, for somebody finally giving you a to watch your car or your product. Somebody. Brett, you have the tapes. You put them in a safe place. I'm ultimate confidence over all things that this could happen.

[A]

Andy just messaged in saying, brett, can you call a few people, make this happen?

[B]

We want to see this look. You're welcome, wnba. Look, you're somebody who wasn't interested is now interested. And you know what it took to make people interested in the wnba? A man doing fun things.

[A]

And Jonathan wants to know how much you're paying him to take the dive in this.

[B]

If they did, could you imagine if I got the tattoo? And it turned out that one of them said, you know what I want that guy to do? The aces were in on it. Let's throw it and let that dude do it. And Asia Wilson or whatever her name is says, yeah, the guy in Phoenix is going to get the tattoo, his car wrapped and grow Brittney Griner hair. In fact, I'll get professional makeup friend Annie Domi who does my makeup for the night of the Singing Dead stuff. And I'll have her make me a Brittney Griner wig while I'm growing it out so I never miss it.

[A]

Just the wig.

[B]

Just. Just the wig from wear that.

[A]

I'm making sure.

[B]

You know what, Brett?

[E]

No.

[C]

No.

[B]

Here we are.

[A]

I'm leaving.

[B]

5:57Am all right, cancel all that other stuff. Cancel it. Here's the real one. And I can get this done.

[C]

I will.

[B]

Oh, man, this is a tough one. 5:57, 10, 9, 25. If the mercury come back, I will have breast implants put into my body and I will have them as the whoever the biggest girl is on the Mercury. I will buy one cup size, get larger. I know that's safe bet, but I'm sure There's one on the bench that we don't know about that's hogging up some D's. I'll do that. Breast implants is the mercury wind. Girl power, we'll call it. If they go 4 0, I swear to God, I'm gonna hang myself, but I will live on the air. Breast implant surgery, I don't know if that's gonna be entertaining at all, but it would be fun. I have to wear that weird bra that they wear for, like, six weeks and then massage them all the time. Hey, look, at my age, that might be kind of fun to have my own set of breasts.

[D]

Could be relaxing.

[B]

Yeah. And, I mean, it's something. I look around at most American men, they've already got huge. So, I mean, what's the difference, really? I'd just be one of the fat people in America that wanders around with their cans. I just tell them, ozempic only worked on my tummy. Whatever. Have you seen that? The Ozempic. How much do you people not want to work out? Ozempic side effects are becoming common. They're, you know, sagging jowls. And that makes sense. You lose a lot of weight, your face is the first thing to kind of look bad. Sulfurous bumps, your breasts deflate for women, that makes sense there. And then surprise pregnancies have become a pretty high problem for ladies with. You'd just rather have that as a risk than hit a treadmill and eat some salads for a few months. You'd rather take this because you know what never causes a surprise pregnancy? Working out. Like, actually trying a little bit. You put this drug inside you to lose the weight, and there's a chance it could make you susceptible to having a baby and not having any of the symptoms of pregnancy until it tumbles out of you, like, six months later. What is wrong with you people? Take a walk. The weather's beautiful. Nah, I don't want to do any of the work. Rather have this thing just make it so I don't eat ever again. And then, you know, I'll take the risks with sulfurous bumps and surprise babies. Now that's just worth it. You think so? No, I don't think any drug, like, you can get rid of your acne. I'm like, that's great. Let's get rid of that. What do I do? You rub this on your face. And I gotta let you know that if you even come close to a. A woman who's ovulating, you're gonna get her pregnant. You don't even have to touch her. Like, really? Yeah, that's how strong this stuff is. All right, I'll just. I'll take that. Ch. Never. Would you take that chance of unwanted babies?

[A]

That's the worst part about it.

[C]

Fine.

[A]

You know, jowls, whatever.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Unexpected pregnancy. Yeah, I'm out.

[B]

Yeah, but that's one of the things they're saying. It's like new research suggests wildly popular medications that are GLP1s from Ozempic on down. The side effects are surprising people because they haven't seen, you know, when they were using it for its original purpose, which was, you know, diabetes and stuff like that, they didn't have function.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

They weren't doing it for, you know, weight loss, so it wasn't getting injected constantly and do it. You know, they didn't really see the surprise pregnancies. The usage jumped 740% when they found the weight loss part. So they're seeing a lot more people use it so they can get a really good idea of what side effects are. Biological changes improve your health, obviously, but also come with risks. The unexpected pregnancies have jumped quite a bit. And every single time they ask, are you on a GLP1? Are you doing. Yes, I am. And I had no idea I was pregnant. You're six months pregnant. You don't even know it. And that's when they find out a lot of them are just standing in elevators and having babies.

[D]

I'm not losing weight. So wait, they're still big. Or is it because they got skinny and they got randy that they started?

[B]

There is a benefit. You know, that's a good question. I don't know. Was it because they look better? People would finally look better.

[D]

Yeah, but they still don't look as well to know that they're pregnant.

[B]

Well, I think there's still a lot of. Well, that's a great question. I'd like to be in on that little. Those findings.

[D]

Me lost a lot of weight, but I didn't. I thought that this was. Only takes one or two.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Unexpected baby weight.

[B]

Have you seen Janice downstairs? You know, she used to be a pig, but now I'd her. Be careful, man. Her body doesn't react to that anymore. And she gets pregnant real easy. She doesn't even know it before you can give the 550 to her to have it taken care of. She's six months in. We have to have it. What the hell? Why?

[D]

Because I.

[B]

It's. I'm like eight months. Like, how did you do that?

[D]

She lost the jowls. And she's hot.

[B]

Aside from her jowls, which I actually like to hang on to while she's working, jowls should keep you from getting pregnant on their own. You get a woman with jowls. Why aren't you wrapping that up? Bloomberg's morning sickness medicate KUPD Tonight's meal, Tilapia surprise with boiled cabbage.

[C]

Begin cooking steps 1:50 now.

[B]

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[C]

Holmberg's morning sickness.

[B]

This guy says, but John, in fairness, unwanted pregnancies, is there any other kind? That's a good point. To a man, it's like, is there a.

[D]

Makes sense.

[B]

That's a good point. A wanted pregnancy is hard to explain to a fella. Unwanted pregnancies right there. The word unwanted in front of pregnancy says that, you know, you better find out early. But it comes. I do. Toledo makes a good point. It may be because these women are, you know. Yeah. Feeling better about themselves. Well, no, they got, they got their confidence back. They're trolling around. Dudes are interested. Sort of. Again, they'll take the punch and.

[D]

And they blame it on the ozempic.

[B]

Well, no, the unwanted part is that they don't even know they're pregnant.

[D]

Like they're like the ozempic maybe helps too that they lose weight all sudden. They become more active.

[B]

Well, that's what we're saying. That's what I'm saying. You get confident, you're walking around, you're feeling good about yourself. But if your body isn't reacting with like loss of period or any sort of weird weight gain because it's reacting to be like you keep losing weight. That isn't normal with a pregnancy.

[D]

Because I would say just losing weight, there's a chance of unwanted.

[B]

Oh yeah, sure. You start looking a little better.

[D]

Look at it that way.

[B]

The word unwanted.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Is a really kind of a, you know, it's kind of a gray area for pregnancy. You know, did you want it? No. And who's asking that? When you come in, you're pregnant. Did you want it? Like what doctor asks that? But there's ways.

[D]

Because you become more active.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, no, that's the sense of it all. But again, if it's just happening because you don't know your body and you're taking a squirt, and then the next thing you know, eight months later, you push a baby out, you're like, I didn't want this. When did this happen?

[D]

But now I think that's bad info because now this. One of the side effects is it can cause you to get pregnant.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Now more people will take it. Trying to get the ones that want to get pregnant. That can't you?

[B]

Well, no, it doesn't fix your ovaries. Like, I know, but that's. What if it was making you. If it makes you more fertile. Yeah. No, I think what they're saying is, yes, there's two sides of it. You're more randy, you're probably taking more chances because you haven't had sex because you used to be gross and now you're better, so you're taking squirts, but then your body isn't reacting exactly as it should when you are. So you don't know you're pregnant for a long time, and the next thing you know, you got a baby falling out of you somewhere in an elevator.

[A]

Just tell those beasts to put the Ho Hos down and hit the treadmill, for Christ's sake. The hell's wrong with people?

[B]

But there is some unwanted pregnancies. Yeah, you're going to have a few of them in there, but at least their periods will stop because they're still not messing with their body's function. You know, it wasn't the Ho Hos that was keeping you. And it'll keep you from having sex, but at least the first month, you'll be like, hey, am I pregnant? These chicks don't even know it. But pregnancies, because they're out there feeling good about confidence is a dangerous drug. Side effects of confidence are on unwanted pregnancies. Big fat girls who are too confident probably have a couple babies they didn't expect at the very least. So. Yeah, I don't understand that. Yeah, the. The sulfur. You know, that's the crazy part. We looked right past sulfurous bumps. That's a thing I wouldn't want either. Like, you don't get sulfurous bumps.

[D]

How else can you.

[A]

Sulfurous bumps?

[B]

I don't know. What else do you do to get sulfurous bumps? You smell like matches. Oh, gross. What is this? Oh, I take Ozempic. I've lost weight. I look good, but I smell like an ashtray. Oh, all Right. I suppose I'll still bang this unwrapped.

[A]

As soon as I hear bumps, I'm out.

[B]

Right? I don't like bumps. Well, and if I'm thinking to myself, I remember rotten eggs.

[C]

Look.

[B]

Yeah, you got rotten eggs. Your bumps stink like rotten eggs. I'm not sticking around to finish the job there. Well, I don't like treadmills, so I'd rather have sulfurous bumps than no. Is that a better life? Sure, you've lost weight, but you're covered in sulfurous bumps and you smell like a gas leak. I don't think we should turn any lights on. No, no, that's me. No, I'm pretty sure the gas is leaking in the house. No, it's me. Sounds like the propane's going. I don't understand this. Yeah, just hit the treadmill.

[D]

She's got a call before you dig. Tattoo on her back.

[B]

I think we should evacuate the house, ma'. Am. No, it's just I stink from my ozempic. Oh, the sulfurous bumps. That's right. Because that's the only way a bump can be sulfurous, Right? Is if you smell it. But again, I remember in high school, there was a hot girl. It was after. Right after high school. We had just graduated, and she's. She was really cute, and I didn't think she was interested in me. And then so the next thing you know, she calls me up. She's like, let's go do something. Summer between graduating from high school. So you're still, like, just, like, euphoric that school's over. So I pop over to her house, and she's there, and she's like, let's go swimming. And I'm like, awesome. She gets in a bikini. She looks amazing. Hop in. And then we go to, like, make out a little bit. And my hand hits her back. And this had happened before with an Italian girl. We were making out and I felt her back and I felt razor burn. No hair. Well, I wish it was flat hair. Oh, and it wasn't like a little bit. It was upper spine. And as I rubbed, it was going over my fingers. Like, it was kind of long. And it wasn't a little bit. It was a lot. So I cut that off.

[D]

Fine. Seaweed.

[B]

No, that would have felt better. This was like, imagine a little more gristle. Imagine trying to run your hands through Dr. J's afro in the late 70s. It was that kind of thick, coarse. Oh, you knew. So then I. So the other one, I'm in the pool with her. She kind of, like, straddles me on the side of the pool, and we go to start to make it out, and I put my hand on her back, and it was bumpy. Like, really bumpy. And because I was. I wasn't even 18 yet. I was about to turn 18. I was still new to the whole process of, like, oh, what's is that? So I hadn't. When she got in the bikini, I hadn't analyzed. I just saw the shape and the boobs. I'm like, oh, this is good. But I didn't really look at skin or anything like that. And then when I watched her swim away in the pool, she had, like, 25 whiteheads on her. On her back. She had, like, back acne. Like, she. Like, she'd been taking steroids. And I didn't notice that because she was in such incredible shape.

[A]

She played for the Mercury now?

[B]

Yeah. Well, no, I don't know. But when I ran my hand up her back and I felt that, all I could think of later was 53. Yeah. Yeah, she's 50. She could.

[C]

But she.

[B]

All I pictured was we'd get off the sheets and you just see, like, just popped. Sits all over the place. And I couldn't. So I. I pulled the plug on that.

[D]

That chlorine was.

[B]

Oh, she was bubbling. And I feel bad because she was such a nice person, but I had to. And I didn't say why. I just said I had to go. I think I was the. I think I played the 1980s good guy in the movie. You know, I was like a John Hughes character.

[D]

You're a ducky.

[B]

No, it was worse than ducky because we made out a little. I felt the zits on her back. And then I just remember. I think if I kind of. I. In my mind, I want to imagine I handled it well, but I probably didn't. But in my. Like, what I remember was me saying, I don't know if we should do this because we've been friends for so long. And I. I don't want to wreck that. I did want to wreck it. I just didn't want to wreck her sheets with blood and pus. Oh, that would have ended me. I was turned off is basically what happened. And I got in my Jeep and I drove home and just thought to myself, well, the drought continues. This isn't going to get better. Should have taken advantage of it. Couldn't do it. Lovely girl, though, if it wasn't for the sulfurous bumps. And no one's ever said that, and not. And Meant it. So good luck with your GLPs if you've got sulfurous bumps or you. You know. You know what? I feel most sorry for the husbands of the lady who's lost the weight through Ozempic if she's got sulfurous bumps. Because he has to be nice. He can't just say, what the hell's going on with these stink bumps that you're like a bug. Every time I touch one gas rotten eggs, nastiness pops out of you. Well, I'm losing weight, and I feel better about myself. You feel better about yourself smelling like rotten eggs and sewage than you did just being overweight because you were so averse to actually working out.

[A]

Should have became a pig anyway.

[B]

First of all, that's right, Brett. You know when we should.

[C]

We.

[B]

You know what you should have done is saved your money and built a time machine back to before you became a pig. The Brett way. Dudes are no better. A dude with sulfurous pumps isn't getting laid by anything of quality. And I'm not a fan of that.

[D]

That's always calm.

[B]

Yeah, my buddy Anthony just text me and said, man, I hope the Mercury win now because the only thing missing from our friendship is you having a great set of. I agree, Anthony. I think it's pretty. I'll let you use them too. I'm. No, I'm not some prude Catholic school girl. They're getting out and they're getting played with a lot. Brady slapping my cans around would be the funniest video in the history of KUPD because his discomfort with it viral but deep down kind of liking it at the same. And I'm getting good ones. If this happens, it's not going to be. Just cram a couple in there. Teardrop little ski slopes, nice little pouty bees. Maybe D's if somewhere in between Caesar. That's just what everybody does. Either go pouty bees or nice D's. C's. You're trying to make it seem he didn't get one. Why are you doing Cs? Cs look nice. They're great. But I mean, I don't want anyone like. What? You didn't have any and now you've got some. Everybody knows. Just. Let's go for it. Clown them up.

[A]

So you're saying just basically either.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Cs are basically like the. The natural version. Either go clown cans or just little perky slopes.

[B]

Pouty pouty bees, I call it. Don't say perky slopes. Great band name. Probably not Going to go too far with it. Yeah. This one says John. You know I'm part of the Alphabet group, but damn you, I'm only interested in the WNBA because of you. So thank you. Signed Aiden. That's right, Aiden. You're even in their crew that they're trying to appeal to. And you're only interested because of me and my breast implant. Bet I'll do it. I'll do it. And the Mercury can be there to play with them too. I'll let the Mercury have lifetime access to my incredicants. That's what they're getting called the incredicants of John Holmberg. It's a Disney film.

[D]

Start a whole new product. Incredicant.

[B]

Incredit. Cans Lost bet in credit cans. I do kind of like the idea of pouty bees. I think that would be nice. But nice clown cans would be good too. But Brady, you get to touch them. And the Mercury if you've. And it's a perk of being a Mercury player ever. If you've ever been on the roster of the Mercury, you get access to my cans. If you're in a drought and you're like, I haven't had a broad in a while. I used to play for the Mercury. You can come over and you can massage them and play them. Do whatever you want about. Yeah, you can motorboat them. Yeah, that's it. You.

[D]

You suit up.

[B]

Yeah, you gotta wear your Mercury gear. And it's like. It's like a veterans discount. It's like AARP is or. No, what's that? The. The veterans thing? The. The one that Gronkowski is always doing that medical insurance that they do for usa. Yeah. Yeah. Usa. Yeah. That's it. Only my cancer for Mercury players. All of them. I can't wait. Four wins in a row. The Aces will probably lose the next one. Make me nervous, but I don't think you can win four in a row. But a team, a girls team can lose four in a row. So we'll see. My buddy Winston text me last night and said you were sweating that fourth quarter. And I'm like, you think I watched it? No, I tuned it. I tuned in for a minute and one of my stomach stopped hurting from the laughing. I turned it to men's sports and baseball. There I am with my Brittney Griner hair and it actually doesn't look bad.

[E]

That could work.

[B]

You gotta get the Mercury tattoo on my head. That's bald. Brittney Griner me, man. Kinda like that.

[D]

I'm Putting that up for my Halloween display.

[B]

That's pretty awesome. I look a little like Lejon from 7 Dust if he was, you know, emaciated or something. Yeah, that's pretty great. Yeah, I like that look. Actually, I'm. That's pretty good. I look like David and Joku of the Cleveland Brown, so it's pretty impressive.

[A]

We'll post that one.

[B]

Yeah, definitely all that happens. Giant head of hair, new cans, and a tattoo on my head. If the Mercury can win four, four in a row, I do not see that occurring. Congratulations to the Aces, by the way. World champions.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

No, no, Brent, it's a 300 lead, babe. Come on. 04 Red.

[D]

Start the.

[B]

We're talking about real teams. Come on. This is over. It's over, I tell you. Absolutely. Brady, how was Ohio? Was it fun? Mom's good. It was good. Yeah.

[D]

Yeah. Bunny's doing good. She got her hip replaced, and she's still just days away from just using a cane.

[B]

Yeah, she's wandering around, just scooching around the house with the walker. First few days, no fun. In your 80s, all you're trying to do is just get up, right? Again. After that, when I had my hip replaced, they did the thing. Like, you're young, so this is going to be harder for you. And, like, why? Looking around PT and it's all just a bunch of old people. And, like, all these people want to do is just walk from here to the bathroom. They don't care about what you're about to do. Like, you want to start fighting again and jogging. Like, none of these people are doing that, Michael. Okay, Running.

[D]

Running five miles.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Is equal to getting dressed in the morning. It's very tiring.

[B]

She gets beat up by that, huh?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Just getting up and getting dressed. And that has nothing to do with her hips?

[D]

Flexibility. Oh. She comes out, I'm like, bunny, you okay?

[B]

But that's not because of the surgery.

[D]

No, that's just.

[B]

That's just being 80 something. Yeah, sounds great. Sounds awesome. To get into your 80s just sounds awesome.

[A]

Not settled me out.

[B]

No, no, no. Putting my clothes on was like running a marathon. I can't think. You think you want to. You really want to eat eggs and bacon now? Let's just check out what happened.

[D]

I peed.

[B]

It's all I've got left. I need a nap. You want some salt? No. Salt will kill me. Okay, it's time to get in the box.

[D]

It drops down to the part like, you know, I can't get dressed, or, like, I need help with My pants.

[B]

No, I need help with my pants as my last sentence on earth. That's it. I need help with my pants. What? Because I'm getting in the coffin and I'm just gonna lay there for a few minutes if I can't put my own pants on, and that's permanent. If I look at stairs like Dale Hellas Dre. I watch him with stairs. He looks at stairs like most people look at. Like, you know, Ed Gein. I don't want anything to do with that. Like he runs from. Stairs are the enemy. Like Christopher Reeve didn't look at stairs as frightening as Dale does.

[D]

It's kryptonite.

[B]

Yeah, it's horrifying. Christopher Reeve would wheel up to the bottom of him and have a better chance getting upstairs than Dale does.

[A]

He starts at 8:45. To get up here for his 9:00 o' clock segment.

[B]

We have to. He has to use that slow ass elevator we've got. Yeah, those are those. If. If I need help with my pants or wiping my ass, it's all done. I know. George says, dude, be careful. The aces are girls too. They could lose. They could start their monthly menstruation session and lose four in a row. Pretty. No, they can't. They'll stumble. They'll stumble into one win and so will the mercury. They'll stumble into the next one. They'll get the next one. I'd bet pretty good amount of money on the mercury in the next one. If I was a girl sports betting man. But I mean, anything can happen. Somebody takes a dildo to the top of the head, you know, she's got 14 points now she's out cold. You never know what's going to happen at a wnba. You just don't. But I do know that my pouty breasts be worth it. The big winner in that wouldn't be them toting around a trophy at a parade no one's at. It would be me. And all the ratings we would get from my brand new breasts.

[A]

I'm just looking forward to motorboating those things.

[B]

Oh, it'd be constant nude. I'd be arrested for indecent exposure three, four times a day, every day. It'd be like, will you put your cans away, sir? But I'm a man. It's no different than when a fat dude with D cups, you know, runs around with his shirt off. I'd be so proud of him. God, they'd look good too. I draw my line at you putting your member between them. We're not doing any of that stuff, you know.

[D]

No.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah, the boob bang. But you want to kiss him and stuff. Brady. Yeah, absolutely. You got it. You can have at that. Sorry. I wish I was still in Ohio. Good God. Six. And that's.

[D]

Yeah, I did check it out yesterday. I had no idea what was going on for about three. Three minutes.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

And not knowing where it stood. And I'll go. Oh, the aces look like they got this under control.

[B]

Yeah, they had a 17 point but.

[D]

I think they took. They went to commercial break while the play was happening and then they came back.

[B]

Nobody knows.

[D]

No, I don't know.

[B]

But sometimes they just.

[C]

We're gonna.

[B]

They turn the channel on themselves. Let's see what else is on tonight at the Mercury game. Then they just do play by play of like Els Beth on CBS for a minute. Now we gotta go back and say the Mercury are doing even the broadcast turns it. Let's get ourselves a wake up song. 585-9800 and we'll scream it together. It's 98K. Uppity. Wake up.

[E]

It's not weird. It's pretty cool actually.

[D]

No membership fee.

[B]

I have heard enough of this to you PD Holmberg's morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on.

[C]

No, no, he's not.

[B]

He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. 98, can you repeat? There you go. Thank you very much, Katie. And the Hobbs, that's miles to nowhere. And I'm telling you right now, the 9th of October here we're staring at a Palladio. I'm already getting letters going, when do we submit? Like, oh, when do I submit? Like, when do I tap out? But it's coming.

[A]

Start practicing now, please guys.

[B]

It excites me. I get excited for playdoh. It's happening. It's going to be around in just a couple of few short weeks.

[A]

Brett, thanks.

[B]

Get a couple weeks left here in Rocktober and then we go into November and oh my. By the way, here's the crucial piece of having a good editor with your news story. Sulfurous bumps in the story I read was a misprint. It's sulfurous burps. I read it again. I'm laughing. It still. It says. It says. It says bumps in my story. And I'm like, I've never heard of that. That's why I thought it was a funny story. And then a guy emailed. He said, I think this is the sulfurous Burps. And he sent all the side effects. I'm like. So I looked again, way down deeper in the story. It turns in from bumps to burps, but they didn't change it. One letter.

[D]

It wasn't a Brady.

[B]

No, it wasn't a Brady. It was an editor. And that's the fun of it. Have you noticed that with stories now, the editing is.

[D]

There's so many.

[B]

Well, there's so many misspelled words.

[D]

Yes, I have.

[B]

Yes. Yes, you have. Of course, throw your thorough research and reading. But, yeah, misprinted words, like it's one letter for the lack of a comma. Let's eat. Grandma changes without a comma. It's great. Brett, how much would it take for you to stay at the El Cortez in Vegas? Like, if I had to pay you, how much would it.

[A]

Oh, I'm getting paid to do that. I'm not paying.

[B]

No, you don't have to pay. Of course not. It's the El Cortez.

[A]

That's what I'm saying.

[D]

Would you stay if it's comped?

[A]

No, not comped.

[B]

Yeah, you need some. What kind of bonus? What kind of, like, free play? Let me make the offer. Okay. I'll give you $1,000 in free play and free food and drink for the weekend. And count the rooms.

[A]

Five.

[B]

You want five grand?

[A]

Well, I got to get rid of bedbugs and everything.

[B]

That's true.

[A]

You do have medical expenses, you know.

[B]

I mean, somebody's got to cover the Alcorte Med expenses.

[D]

You're right.

[B]

Well, they are making an offer to people brave enough. I'm so in on this. We going to investigate the potential paranormal activity at the El Cortez. Well, I am one who does not believe in ghosts.

[D]

Perfect timing.

[B]

And also, if I. If it. If I am wrong and ghosts exist at the El Cortez, there have been zero. And I. Statistically, I will stand on this forever. There have been absolutely zero accounts of humans being harmed by ghosts, ever. They knock stuff over in your room. The worst you'll ever hear is, they'll slam a door. Zach Baggins is, like, always afraid that doors open and close. I'm like, but they never hurt you. They're incapable of. Of contact. So, sure, for 5,000 in my pocket, I'll go investigate your stupid El Cortez. And I'll come out and go, that's it. But I'll also trash the rooms, like I've always said in these. These stupid haunted house things. Or I'll go in. I'll trash room. Go. Man, you do have. You have a ghost problem up there. That place is destroyed. And I guarantee you they would then say, well, we're not giving you five grand. You trash the room. Like, no, no, no ghosts. That's what you were asking for. That's what you got.

[A]

Zach already lives up there. So why are they offering these denobs?

[B]

Because they want. Because it's the El Cortez and it's Halloween.

[D]

And it's Halloween.

[B]

The oldest and possibly most haunted hotel in Las Vegas has a contest for the spooky season. Thrill seekers are up for the challenge, have opportunity to apply and spend a weekend in the El Cortez hunting ghosts. And they could win $5,000. Going to be a bunch of people. So it's not for everybody. You don't just get five grand for staying. Evidently you got to go through their, their process. And I work. You got to work.

[A]

I want 10 now.

[B]

Then screw that.

[A]

If I got to go to work for this crap.

[D]

When you go, when you pull it up, do they post pictures of the rooms?

[A]

I don't know.

[D]

Yeah, the old course. I mean, I have never been there. Yeah, I been here.

[A]

You're not missing much.

[D]

It's talked about for years.

[B]

It's a, it's a 90 year old hotel. It was one of the first ones. And it still kind of hangs on to its old ways. They've remodeled it to look like it used to look.

[A]

That's what Fitz said. He says the casino's nicer now, but nobody knows about the rooms yet.

[B]

Yeah, it's. Anyway, so you get kind of a, a vibe of going back in time to the 30s and 40s, and they, they're, they're, you know, they didn't really structurally change much. The casino's clean and nice, but it looks like an old west saloon casino. And the rooms are probably small. I don't know. I don't know what they've done up there. I would never stay there. But it says the chosen one is tasked to walk through the hotel's corridors, casino, and other areas that are thought to be haunted. And they give you ghost hunting equipment. So you've got the stuff. I want to know what that is. So you get your ghost hunting equipment and then you gotta, you have a journal. And also, if you're looking to go to Vegas and just like get this done, it's not directly affiliated with a contest to have anyone. If they, you know, there's their suite. Yeah, there's your suite. If you die or get Hurt, it doesn't count. Like, so if a ghost actually does, for the first time ever in the history of man, kill someone, they're saying that that's incidental. Oh, this is terrible. They say the El Cortez basement is full of ashes and cremated remains of former employees who died without family, making the hunt a little more eerie. That room's not terrible. This one isn't. But look at this nightmare blue thing. I couldn't sleep in a room. Yeah, that just. That just looks like a 70s Holiday Inn. Well, you know, that's her.

[A]

Like, drapes on the wall and stuff like that.

[B]

Look at that. Oh, it is. It's a radio salesman suit on the walls.

[A]

Hang David Har from that thing.

[B]

Yeah, it's the Vegas Ghost Hunt. And that's it. There's a different one called the Vegas Ghost Hunt, and El Cortez says, don't get them confused. Ours is for five grand. So they say that's a pretty good deal. $5,000 and they'll cover you for the weekend. And you go there, and all you got to do is look for ghosts. And I'll tell you right now, you've already gone as far as you'll ever go looking for ghosts here. So when you go to the El Cortez, keep your journal. It's all BS and try it. So I don't know how you. I don't know how you register for this.

[A]

All right, here we go. We can book a room for this weekend.

[B]

Can you find the El Cortez? Ghost search. How much are the rooms?

[D]

250Of the2.51 average.

[B]

The stay at the El Cortez.

[D]

All right. People said, oh, Vegas.

[A]

There's 600 a night.

[B]

No wonder Vegas is dying.

[A]

There's 600 a night for that one room that looked okay.

[B]

It's a bigger room.

[A]

Well, yeah, it's higher up, too, so you can jump out the window.

[B]

Does that window open?

[A]

I hope so.

[B]

I'm making some bad life decisions at 600 a night. See how many good hotels in Vegas there are for less than 600 a night. Is that a weekend rate?

[A]

That's for this weekend, yes.

[B]

Okay, that makes a little more sense, because the suites over at the aria are, like two grand a night now for weekends. But 600 bucks to stay at the El Corte. You better give me five grand to stay at that place. And the El Cortez has a history to it, so people like Fitz. But I would gladly, if you have a haunted house and you need me to stay in it, and you have ghost hunting equipment. You should give me a few bucks to do it. I'll run that scam all day. In fact, that's my retirement plan is to play pretend I believe in ghosts and just knock on old people's doors and go, for a few thousand dollars, I'll get rid of your ghosts like a ghost exterminator. And they'll be, oh, thank God he's here. And all you got to do is have a vacuum wand, like a bucket from Home Depot that says ghost storage. And then, you know, walk around with a mask and act like you've been there. There's no such thing. There is no if there are.

[D]

Sister's neighborhood.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

I had a run in last week.

[B]

With ghosts.

[D]

Nope. But the neighbors did.

[B]

Oh, they had a ghost.

[D]

I jokingly said to them, because they're. They're. The houses that they're in were built in the late 1800s.

[B]

Right.

[D]

So there's a history behind him and all this stuff. And so this couple has a younger kid growing up. And I go, oh, he probably had a tough time sleeping in that place with all the ghost activity. And he.

[B]

Oh, gee, I was joking.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

And he's like, you wouldn't believe it. I actually paid. I had someone come over and do a.

[B]

You've got too much money. You're bananas. How come they always say that, too? The house has history. Every house that has ever been built, yesterday or otherwise, if somebody lives in it, has history.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

So if someone's in a house and happens to pass away, why would they stay like.

[D]

And the owner of that particular house where they live was an Italian guy. And it's above a quarry where it's built. So he built the house so he could look on the core to make sure guys are working. That's the story. He has a. A perch up there that.

[B]

So he's still there. So as a ghost, he's still a foreman and a supervisor. He's still working to make sure that this Corey that's not quite retire yet. I don't have my forever money.

[A]

I don't know about this.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And how come he did have a.

[D]

Separate bedroom for his wife?

[B]

Well, yeah. That's sweet. He had a good morning. Yeah. He's Italian. You told us that already. You didn't have to. That's superfluous mission. We knew that.

[D]

Well, that's the first time I saw one. That.

[B]

Of course he had that. Yeah. No, you said Italian. Of course he's got two bedrooms. Gumar. Wife bedroom. It's yeah. Kumar gets the good one. Wife gets to sleep in the maid's quarters.

[A]

Yeah, she's already there.

[B]

Yeah, she's already. She just stays. She's lucky to have a house in five. Across the face. I've spent a lot of time with Brett this week. I'm understanding a lot of things. How come it's never. How come it's always an old 1800s house, too? How come a house from 1970 can't be haunted? Plenty of people have died.

[D]

I think they are. I think those are usually the ones that, like. Uh, you bought this from the family where they don't disclose. Like murder happened.

[B]

They have to. They used to have to. Yeah, but still. Okay, a murder happened, and they. You. You're haunted. No. Nothing happens. Let me just tell people who believe in ghosts, they've never hurt anyone. Ever. Ever. It's like being afraid of lightning bugs. It's never killed a man. In fact, the lightning bug. The reason you should be afraid of a lightning bug over a ghost is because they're actually real. That could get in your eye while you're driving or something. A ghost can't do that. Ghosts have never killed anyone.

[A]

You want me to sign you up?

[B]

Yeah, sign me up. I would gladly go do this. And my journal would just say, no ghosts in this room. I'm staying at the yard.

[A]

Send my stuff over there.

[B]

I think you've got an air conditioning problem. It clunks around at night. You suppose it's the ghost banging on the air conditioner? If that's the best plan they've got, I'm not real worried about ghosts. If a ghost. Best deal is to hit your water heater a few times. Okay.

[D]

There'S the equipment. EMF meters, EVP recorders, flashlights, thermal sensors.

[B]

And the worst that could happen to me in this situation is that, oh, my gosh, there are ghosts. And still I would be fine. He came by and he moved a couple picture frames.

[D]

The journal will be easy. Compile a short report of your scariest, funniest.

[B]

Yeah, this was hilarious. You guys think you have ghosts. I found it hysterical. So I showed up.

[A]

How about this for the Halloween portion? It opens October 6th, closes on Halloween, and the winner will be notified five days after it closes. Okay, so you're. You're totally getting rid of the whole Halloween scare part. You're into October. November by then. Come on.

[B]

Just give me my money. This is stupid. And you have to compete with other people. So it's the one who has the most ghost activity. I'm Trashing the room. I'm trashing that beautiful room the El Cortez gives me. I mean, the bed's going to get thrown out the window. I don't have any video proof of it, but the meters went off. This thing was going crazy. And then the bed flew out the window. These ghosts are furious. And then the owners would be like, you're an asshole. There's not a real ghost in there. We're just giving you a promotion. Although the best ghost promotion I've seen in a long time. And hand it to Disneyland. Some lady just dropped dead in the haunted house yesterday.

[D]

I know.

[B]

And they wheeled her out. And normally you'd think a company would be like, let's try to keep this under wraps. It's everywhere, and it's great. The haunted house killed someone at Disneyland. And they're actually kind of grandstanding on it a little bit. We don't. We're so sorry for the family. But the haunted house will remain open through the holiday. Will it? Yes. You have, like, a heart attack inside the haunted house.

[A]

And that thing's not scary.

[B]

Not it. It's for children. If the haunted house scared you to death, you weren't. You weren't. You weren't long. Imagine what It's a Small World was going to do when I went to Africa. Oh, my God. When those little guys in there, they have shields and arrows. Forget about it. Ah, it's like going through Compton. My heart. We shouldn't have taken grandma on that one. I like when we went through the Icelandic area. Those people seem nice. And then we went down to the boogie, boogie, boogie parts with the drums and the. Oh, I hated it. Yeah. She died in the haunted house at Disneyland. And everybody.

[D]

They lied about that. It was on the Tinkerbell.

[B]

She was in the cups.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

I almost died on those cups. That's nauseating. That was. That's a horrible ride. People are coming off that thing looking like. I'm like, man, are the cups fun. Like, you can get those things going pretty fast. And every grown man was like, it's the worst thing I've ever done in my life. You spin until you vomit, and you do it yourself. And you know, as a guy, you're like, how fast do these cups go? And the next thing you know is like, oh, no. I found out how fast they go, and I don't like it. Anyway. If you're scared of ghosts, don't be. I gotcha.

[C]

They don't.

[B]

You know what we never do if it. Tactical black ghost defense. It's not a thing. Jade never goes. All right, you have an attacker at the Circle K. And you gotta also be careful that there's a couple apparitions nearby. And how do you defend yourself? You don't, because they don't do anything. Stop.

[D]

Take your cross and holy water.

[B]

Yeah. And then just stare into the empty space where you think they are. They're not there. I'm more afraid of mosquito. You should be more afraid of mosquitoes. Those are things you can't really see too often, and they carry disease like crazy. Number one killer in the world is the mosquito. They carry all sorts of nonsense. Not in America. Usually in some dump country that doesn't have any medicine. But still, swimming around in that filthy water and stinging you. Mosquitoes are scarier than ghosts. That's why you have exterminators. They come by. There's proof in the pudding. Someday they may discover that in this dimension we can't quite see yet. There are other things floating around living life around us. But so long as they're not really interrupting anything and I can't feel them when I bump into them, what's the harm? Some guy emailed me a while ago. What if ghosts are actually air and we need dead people to replenish the air? And they come. That's what we breathe. I'm like, okay, I think that's crazy, but what harm is that doing? Aren't you scared? Like, no. Look, the whole purpose of ghosts is that they can watch it doing stuff. If a ghost wants to hang out in my room and watch me fiddle with my balls because I do it a lot and they're getting a kick out of that, then. And I don't know they're there. Okay. I'm fine with that. I mean, that's the whole principle behind religion in the first place, is there's some dude watching me that I can't see. See, he's seeing some stuff. He is seeing some stuff.

[D]

And then it piles up to see family members, like grandparents. They're up there now. They're watching.

[B]

Yeah. You know what my grandpa saw? Yeah, I got. I gotta. Yeah. I should charge admission with all these dead relatives. If my grandparents are up there watching how proud they are me. Hey, is Alvar. Bill. Shirley. Hope you're doing well. And they're watching me. What they saw this morning in the shower was me kind of have like a weird little moment with my nose. And then I did a farmer's blow. And instead of going down to the floor of the shower, it landed on My chest and it was half of my brain. I think it was a big something. And it hit me in the chest. I'm like. And I turned and let the shower water kind of wash it down. And it got caught in my pubes for a second so I had to kind of move. That's what my grandparents are watching me do. That's what the ghosts get to see. So make your proud moment. Yeah. If that's something that they want, if they want to do that, have at it. I don't want to watch me shower. So if that's what my grandparents are like turning on John, they know your schedule. Okay. That may be, but I'm not sure they're getting much better than, you know. That was probably the highlight of my day because that's gonna be the most memorable thing that happens to me today. Probably. You know, and this isn't fun to watch from above. You've got heaven at your disposal. Why are you on John TV all day long? Just wanna watch him and let him know I care. I hate to break it to you. Every athlete ever your grand didn't watch you score that touchdown. They were busy doing something else on playing pickleball in clouds. They're not watching you. You know how often your grandparents used to call you? That's right. That's how often they're watching you too. Maybe once every couple months you'd get the phone to ring and usually it was to tell you that they're about, you know, done. Your dad went in for a terrible surgery. Oh, did he?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm not feeling real good either. The doctor says if I don't stop smoking my head's gonna fall off. Alright, well, it's been great catching up the ghosts. Five grand though for dummies to pay me to pretend there's ghosts for a couple days. But I'm with you. It's the El Cortez. If the Aria did it.

[A]

Oh yeah, I'm in.

[D]

And it's the five grand. It would be great because it's just gambling.

[B]

It's.

[D]

Yeah, it's a lot.

[B]

I'm gonna gamble with your ghost money. I'm gonna take your ghost money, give it back to you.

[A]

But it says we're looking to pay one lucky thrill seeker a value prize of five grand. That's what I' so they're valuing the rooms at probably 500 a night.

[B]

Could be.

[A]

I thought so. You may not wind up even like a thousand bucks of free play or something.

[D]

Or is it $5,000 in free play? You don't get the cash.

[A]

It could be that you just have.

[D]

A credit and you have to gamble.

[A]

No.

[B]

5 in free play. Is that's reasonable.

[A]

No, it's not, because then you still got to be there.

[B]

Oh, I got to beat the all course. That's no good.

[A]

Can you just stay at, like, the Ari and then just Uber over for the. The ghost hunt or something?

[B]

Yeah, you could, I suppose. Yeah.

[A]

Because there you get bumps in the night. Regardless, all over.

[B]

Pumps in the night takes on a whole new. It's a different animal when you get bumps in the night. That away.

[D]

Sulfur bumps.

[B]

If you. If you were, like, a virgin and you woke up with herpes, nobody's gonna believe it was a ghost. Ah, you were rubbing on something. Nobody buys it. No, even ghost people. I've said it for years. If your kid went missing and a police guy came and said, we have no leads, we're pretty sure it's ghosts, you'd have him fired the next day. Even if you were, like, the most. If you were Zach Baggins and someone you loved got kidnapped and the police said it was ghosts, Zach Baggins would even go, oh, come on, you mother, go find the guy.

[C]

No, no, no.

[B]

It was ghosts, Zach. Ghosts have swiped her aliens. And ghosts. And aliens are probably a little bit more like, maybe we think ghosts stole your car. Like, no, Go to Maryville. You'll find it. Pretty sure it was ghost. Not a real thing. And I know it hurts people to think that when they're, you know, grandparents aren't watching them. That's ego. To think that your grandparents care that much about you. They don't. Enjoy your life, have fun. But ghosts aren't part of. Cracks me up. And by the way, also almost a ghost. We had him in yesterday for quite a while when he introduced the. The Kiss 2026. 2026 tour with a Jew crank.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Gene Simmons passed out behind the wheel yesterday driving along, and it crashed into a parked car. And we was here right now to explain. Hello, everyone. Gene Simmons from kiss. Hello, Brett. Great job yesterday with True Crank.

[C]

We.

[E]

Thanks.

[B]

We had a great situation. Brady, welcome back. I'm glad to see you. I had a medical issue yesterday, and I have to tell you, I ran into a parked car after passing out. And let me tell you why. Because I was listening to Homebrook's Morning Sickness, and I laughed hysterically until I passed out. It was a marvelous program with Jew Crank. And then when you played it and sang it, we all laughed. And then I realized I woke up in a hospital so legendary. Gene Simmons is okay. Kiss is going to be fine. And Jucrank 2026 will happen. I know I was in Malibu, but it was a quick tour after I visited the show and then left. It was wonderful. Juke Rank is Amazing.

[D]

Final show, December 2nd.

[B]

That's right. The Jewcrank tour will begin next year. This is the final show before we get Jucrank together. Get hot no more tomorrow, baby. Time is today.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Let's go get that together. Let Paul sing the good part and I'll get involved in the chorus and sing along, everyone, because it's the new way.

[C]

There's no place for hiding, baby.

[B]

And there's no place to run. You know it. Get ready for it. 24 hours later.

[C]

Pull the trigger of my Jew crank.

[B]

That's right, Jew crank is back. Making Jew Crank great again. Brady, you missed it yesterday. It was quite fun. But then I crashed my car and. Why? Because all the blood had flowed to my Jew crank and I had lost consciousness. He said, ladies, I don't know if you know that, but Jews over 6ft tall are. Have just hammers down south. And we're willing to throw that hammer your direction. So tug a Jew horn today. I'm fine. I'll be out again later. And if I pass out, you'll know it's because my body's blood all went to my erection. That's it. So thank you very much for Ju Crankus. He's alive and well, though. We're happy to have and back. His wife Shannon Tweed said he's on new medication and he got dehydrated, so he just passed out.

[A]

He's probably singing while he's draining to.

[B]

Do his new song. Listening to Kiss and probably overwhelmed him how great the song was and screwed him up. He's lucky he just hit a parked car. Sure. Well, you know. Well, you know, actually, Brady, the person who's lucky in this is the person whose car I hit. Because in the end, they got to meet Gene Simmons of Kiss. And I think that's pretty neat. So if you're gonna get hit by anybody, get hit by a superstar who's the leader of kiss. That's me, Gene Simmons. Morning sickness Medicate K U P D Holmberg's morning sickness. What a lucky man that was that I passed out and crashed into your car. It's the Wheel of Fortune, really Is that. You know, so many people have been hit by a nobody and they have to deal with their insurance. Now, I've given you a great story. You know who ran into my car the other day? An incapacitated Gene Simmons. And that's a great story, so you're welcome.

[A]

He should have paid you. As a matter of fact.

[B]

In fact, that's true. Brett, I think maybe insurance. Yes, kisses, new insurance policies. If I ram into your car, you pay me for the honor of me damaging your vehicle. That's not bad.

[D]

I person said the guy, he was a jerk because his eyes were closed the whole time. He didn't turn out cold.

[B]

If you were going to get hit by a celebrity, that would be pretty neat.

[D]

Hey, you dick.

[B]

What did you do here? What happened? What is it? Hey, you're Gene Simmons. This is okay. Everything changes in attitude.

[D]

If Brady got hit by Gene Simmons.

[A]

Or was it Netanyahu? I'm not sure, but you know, I.

[B]

Think you'd figure that out in a second. Benji makes the whole thing go away. Yeah, if you get hit by like if you just get hit by some slug. If Brady cr. Oops, sorry I rammed in you. You son of a. I hate you so much right now. You get angry and all that, but if the guy gets out of the car, it's Gene Simmons, for Christ's sake. Suddenly this is kind of cool. Is everybody okay? I'm fine. How are you feeling? I'm fine. You hit a parked car. I'm good. Can I have your autograph? I realized that when my low level ass of local celebrity got T boned by that kid. And the next thing you know, we're taking pictures in the intersection next to the accident because the fire department, four or five of the guys listened and the kid's like, who's this? It's like, oh, you got hit by America's sweetheart. And then so he started laughing. Next thing, we had him on the air the next day. It was fun. It's fun. Even low level celebrity is better than getting hit by some average schmo. Some broad knocks India and just driving her kids to daycare. Sorry about that. You dummy. Are you famous at all? No, this is garbage. I gotta call insurance.

[D]

Margot Robbie fainted.

[B]

Oh my God.

[A]

I'd faint too, walking up to the car.

[B]

Oh, could you imagine you get hit by Marco. Robbie. Like that car's coming in pretty hot. It's gonna hit us.

[D]

It's gonna hit us.

[B]

There's. Oh my God, we've been hit. It's. This bitch is crazy and open the door and there's Dua Lipa. What happened? I'm so sorry. Oh, must my fault. Nothing. I was on your Way I parked in a bad spot here between these lines, and this was my fault. I'm so dizzy. All I need to do is make love to something. I'm here for you. Dua.

[A]

Is there any Jew crank around here?

[B]

Does you have a Jew crank? Yes. Yes, I do.

[D]

Would you sign my car? It's all good.

[B]

The doctor says the only thing I'll survive with is if a large nose, bald Jew in my bottom. Yes.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

I am the cure. Dude, I'm so glad you hit me. And then I'd be just parking where I know she is in case she hits me again. Oh, you hit me again. It looks like that whole in your bottom from a big noseballed Jew is the key. I fixed it last time. If you want to run away with me, I know a galaxy and I can take it for a ride. I'm doing it. It's a thing getting hit by celebrities. A lot better than some nobody. Last thing you want to do is have the door. And this is so true. Brady's been through this. The door of the guy that hit you open and they're like, hi.

[E]

Adios mio.

[B]

It's like, oh, no. Nobody has insurance in this one. I'm paying double rates now. But if it's like pio lean or peso pluma, suddenly like, oh, wow.

[A]

Edward James almost.

[B]

Oh, my God. If I get hit by. Is he still alive? He's old enough. He'd probably hit you. Oh, my God. Who loved you and Standard delivered so much? Nobody ever talks about that. The dude whose car got hit, they're all talking about Gene Simmons passed out behind the wheel. That's a good one. That's kind of a neat story.

[C]

I would.

[B]

That's something you'd. El Cortez wants to give you five grand. For $5,000, I'll let a celebrity cram into the side of my car for the story. Here's $5,000. Now, at any given time, unexpectedly, a celebrity is going to run into your car. It's like that thing I do at Rip Valley, the card place.

[D]

John, we have Shatner scheduled for next week.

[B]

He's coming in.

[A]

I bet your luck it'd be Guy Fieri or something to your car.

[B]

You go down to Rip Valley and they have a thing where you buy. It's an awesome place. I've never been down to Rip Valley. It's over downtown. I don't even know. It's like Third street by Roosevelt, something like that. But they sell merchandise, memorabilia, and they've got these cards. I think it's like 500 bucks, and you buy trading cards. Trading cards? Yeah, a pack of cards. Like sports cards. Inside of the trading card thing, I think there's one of them that's like three, and it's like 250 bucks. And you get three cards. But inside is a guaranteed autographed card from someone. And you can. My buddy got a rookie, Dak Prescott, with a. It has a jersey. It was one of 100. It's actually got severe value well past the 250. My other friend, Matt Komen got Vilas Jones, kick returner for the Bears. We looked it up. It was worth 17 cents. So you run that risk. It's gambling.

[D]

Frame that.

[B]

Oh, it was. I told him, I said, you're keeping this forever. I got a couple of good ones in there. I've played that game quite a bit. Rip Valley's awesome. I've never been down there. Go down there because it's an awesome spot, but it would be the same thing. It's like you go into this thing, Celebrity car crash. And then you just go in and go for $5,000, you get. It's this list of celebrities, and you don't know which one's going to hit you, but it's a guarantee that one will. And it's like Corey Feldman, Todd Bridges, Dale. Hell, yeah, Dale Hellustrate's on there.

[D]

Cameo menu.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. And then the top of the list is, like, Peyton Manning. You get some really cool ones up there, and in the middle, it's just like, middling people. Like an influencer that was on Dancing with the Stars once. Or, you know, you know, Kevin Cobb, the former backup quarterback for the Cardinals. You get some cruddy ones in there, too. But for five grand, you take a chance that at some time in the next 14 days, you know, there's a chance that Margot Robbie rams into you. You would do that?

[D]

Oh, I'm sorry. They're not. This celebrity level that you're at, they will not hit a Prius. It's only Mercedes.

[B]

Yeah, they won't hit any of the cars that save the environment. That's true, but, like, 10 grand to get Larry David or Dua Lipa. And I would take that chance. But they always throw in some clunkers. Like Feldman's on every single. He's in the platinum package. He's in the bronze package. He's in all of it. Gene Simmons is in there. Like Eddie Vedder. That's a good story.

[A]

Upper echelon. He's not down There with Feldman and stuff.

[B]

No, he'd be in the middle.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Okay. Yeah. Somewhere between Feldman and Dua Lipa lies Eddie Vedder.

[A]

He definitely is not hitting the Prius.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Or you save the environment.

[B]

You can kind of go, this is a good business. They can kind of customize it, like for your need. Like, for me, it would be cool to meet Dave Kingman or Jerome Bettis. So that's high on my list. Yeah. Well, if you love the Brady Bunch and Greg is on your list.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Let's get Greg to ram the car into you. And he's dressed as Greg. It's live. It's those live cameos. It just happens to you. Rather than a phone call. They fly them out, they put him in a crash up derby car. And you just sit and wait to go out to your car and see a celebrity has ran into it. Nobody gets hurt. The damage is minimal and it cost you some money, but your insurance should cover it.

[A]

Jesus Christ. The lead singer of Air Supply hit me.

[B]

God, this sucks.

[D]

You're surprised by a friend they have you hit your car.

[B]

Oh, hey, aren't you Lamont from Sanford?

[C]

Desmond. That would be cool.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Brett and I would both play for that one.

[A]

Call KISS 1230 and bring that up in here.

[B]

I get Lam from Sanford and Son on the list. It would probably be a pretty cool one too, to be like, okay, at any given time, a Pittsburgh Steeler is going to hit your car. Past, present, current, any of anytime during.

[A]

Yeah, but you might get like Justin.

[B]

Fields or I get like Christian Coons or even Michael Vicks on that list. Yeah, but you don't get to choose who. But he at one point was on the Steelers roster and played for the Steelers in a regular season game.

[D]

Tad Weed.

[B]

Yeah. You get that kicker that you always talk about, Tad Weed. Yeah. Yours is risky because it could be Ohio State. Like, you'd love that. But so many failures from Ohio State. It would have to be a deal where they're like, it's an Ohio State player that started for a national championship, 70s and up.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

But they didn't necessarily go pro. They weren't, you know, could be some tight end from the 1980 team. That was a blocking. You can get screwed, but it's worth the fun. Which is why I always love going to Rip Valley. They've got that game is a blast. It's expensive, but if you're into, like, collectibles, you still get cards. And you'll get some really good ones.

[D]

You can go a higher level,250.

[B]

They have a couple of different games. No, they have. They come in, like sealed boxes. Yeah. So you buy like, this is the one with three cards, and then they have a baseball one that has what they call the.

[D]

Where you buy the whole season. It's like 10 grand.

[B]

Some of them. It depends on the year, but you could. Yeah, but that's just like. That's the. Like, if you went back and said, I want to buy the 1990 top season, they'll give you every card they printed. 1990. But most people in that case know who the rookies were that year, like, what they're getting into. And the price of that box is going to be reflective of who's in there. They know this one is just a blind chance. And so you go. And it's a. It's a black box. And then they film you opening it. So it's like, let's see if we got a winner. It's the lottery, but it's gambling, and it's a blast. I've had three or four different trips down there. One day we spent $1,000. Just constantly going because we got a couple of really good ones. And I got a rookie, Ben Roethlisberger, in one that was awesome. It's well past the price. And then a couple of them that stunk. And I got the baseball one, and a friend of mine got a. Can't remember which one it was. Was a commemorative. It was like Barry Bonds, I think it had his jersey, like a clip of his jersey from the game that this. This monumental achievement happened. I'm like, that's a great one. I got Mark appel in a third year, Mark Appell autographed, and it was worth 19 cents. Sometimes you lose.

[D]

Trade in for credit on the next rig.

[B]

Well, you can. You can say they'll buy it back from you if you want. But he's like, I'm not buying that one. You need to sell that.

[D]

I'll buy. I'll give you 8 cents.

[B]

Yeah, you get a ton more if you sell it on your own. Yeah. This one says, damn it, you hit my car. Oh, it's Margot Robbie. Well, if you want to keep this off insurance and out of the paper, since you ran me, I get to ram you.

[A]

There you go.

[B]

That's right. And she'd be for that. All right. Just to keep it off my insurance. Great job, mate. Let's have anal sex. Right. Just because we don't want anybody to know about this, and we certainly don't want that rate Hike. You said it, mate. Oh, this guy George knows our friend Thomas Wells. He says you should ask Thomas Wells about the picture he took cleaning out that bank owned home by himself. And there was another person in the mirror. Oh, George, I know about that.

[A]

All right, what's this?

[B]

So Thomas. Thomas Wells used to go through bank owned homes that people got kicked out of, and he'd go and kind of clean out the stuff they left. They usually left it a mess, right? And then he'd go kind of fix it up after they'd walk from these, you know, foreclosed houses. He calls me one night, johnny, you gotta come over here. You're not gonna believe it. I'm like, what is it? Oh, they got this old dump of a house. This old lady wasn't paying a bill, so we outed her and she's gone. So I go clean it up, take a look around. It's mirrors everywhere. And I'm cleaning away, and I turned and there's a guy reflection next to mine in the sliding glass doors. And he wouldn't move. And I took photos. Well, it just so happened that as he took the photos, the flash was making a photo not do a thing. So I go over there and he's.

[D]

Like, take a look at that.

[B]

And I'm like, it's a flash. It's you taking a picture. And what are you looking at? This one right here. There's a body there.

[D]

Like an entity.

[B]

No, there's not. Well, hey, it's Joanie. This place is haunted. She's scared of me. Like, the lady that lived here is still alive. Like, why would she. No, because she knows I'm gonna sell it. Like, her spirit leaves her when she sleeps to haunt you. Like, you're all right. I'm never. I'm me going back in that house again. I'm like, well, then you're gonna lose money. This is dumb. If the. If the ghost's best move, Thomas, is to get trapped between you and the sliding glass doors, you're gonna be all right. You don't mess with the supernatural. You just don't.

[A]

All right, so he believes in that, but not the Loch Ness monster.

[B]

Oh, he believes in Loch Ness monster.

[A]

Oh, he does.

[B]

Again, I remind you, Scotland's national animal is the unicorn. They're all n. Hey, you gotta believe the unicorn will come down here and fix all of Scotland and finally give us firm ground to walk on instead of this muck and mud. We don't have surface area that isn't wet. We're always sinking in the mud. No, he was scared to death of that. He called me, get over here. I'm like, why would you want me to be there? That's like when people take a bite of something and go, ugh, this is gross. Taste it. No. There's a killer ghost in the house with me. Come over. You think that's a. So go yourself. You're gonna die. Prove it. And I got photos. You can photograph ghosts now. You need to take that camera over to Sweden and get your Nobel Prize because that's a machine that nobody has. You're just a cynic, Johnny. Yep, I'm all right, though. Are you still alive? Aye. And the goat? You're still in the house. I. The ghost is cool with you calling people to come over and see him. You're just an. I shouldn't have called you.

[D]

I didn't know how many photos seen that a friend has taken. And it's got that light flash in it.

[B]

Yeah. I said, john, what if the person that hit me had crappy insurance and the best celebrity they have is Dobson High school football legend Eric Zellner?

[A]

Oh, man.

[B]

There you go at Coach Clark pays Derek Zellner to come over and smack him in the face. I tell you what. Shoot. It's an honor to get some of Derek's DNA on him.

[D]

DZ is not even in the car. He's just ramming it.

[B]

DZ just dz. You know what? He. He'll ram you and probably get to the location faster. Shoot, he's quicker than anybody. In fact, he needs cars to slow him down. Even his car's faster than any other car I've ever seen. Your car's just a mother suck. Yeah, it would stink if you paid the money and your celebrity stunk. Yeah, but I'd be all in on that. I mean, it would kind of stink if you're like, all right, I'm just gonna go for, you know, I'm the 400 package. I'm gonna local radio guy to hit me. And then, you know, you get clunked by Sean Kelly a weekend or like, oh, it's a weekender. I didn't. I should have paid the extra 100 for a guy who's got a full time job. Chris Kelly. Not Sean Kelly. Chris Kelly. So nice you'd have a new best friend. Sean wouldn't stop talking to you. It'd be great, right? Right. Just hit your car. Right?

[D]

All right.

[B]

Where do you work? I work weekends at kupd. No, great. Vella hit me. John Vella hit you and then you're like, hat.

[D]

You get some merch out of it.

[B]

Look, Vella Hitchhia and his car, like, all of its contents unload into yours. Like the one chocolate went into the peanut butter. It's like, I believe these are my. These are my bags of weed I flew out of my window into yours. These are my pain pills I sell to people in pacing. It's a pace. It's a pacing job. It's an actual career in pace. Bella crashes his Tesla into you, and it's just gonna be. It's gonna look like fireworks went off. All those belongings inside.

[D]

Was that baby powder?

[B]

Yes. Yes, it is. That's baby powder. No, no, be cool. There's a bunch of flat brimmed hats. They flew into your car. I believe those belong to me. That's a good idea. I like that idea. But getting hit by a sled. Gene Simmons hits your car and it's parked. That's the best case scenario. I think you got a nice story out of that. It's pretty cool.

[D]

Got hit by a nice Navigator.

[B]

Yeah, it's a nice car. Dude's got insurance. You know, it's all gonna work itself out. And you walk away with a story. It's like, yeah, got my car got into a wreck. I sprayed it this morning where his car was. It said, he's getting something fixed. It would have been better if you'd have said, meh. I was parked at the Walmart. Gene Simmons plowed through it, so it's getting dead. Wait a minute.

[C]

What?

[B]

Yeah, Gene Simmons. A kiss bashed into my ride. It's at Shane Orlando's place right now.

[D]

Pretty cool story.

[B]

I got to meet Gene. He was sleeping, though I would. And the cool thing is, if it was Guy Fieri, that happened to be my draw. And he crams into me, goes, put it on a flip flop. Looks like I went wackety whack on your whip.

[C]

Oh, good.

[B]

I'd get a chance to punch Guy Fieri, which would be worth the money I spent. You've been fiery. Welcome to crash town. Okay, enough of you, you talentless knob. Want some garbage nachos? Yeah, I do. Out of the garbage rather than what you serve, because it's better out of the trash than it is in your table. Fresh from the garbage into a can onto your table. Garbage nachos.

[C]

What?

[B]

What? Put it on a flip flop. Welcome to Flavortown.

[D]

It's served on the door of your car.

[B]

Yeah, it's served on the ground. Remember that Indian last week that was eaten out of the gutters.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Welcome to Flavortown. Oh, man, you can really taste the feces. What do you got on the big board of treats there, Bert? Wake up.

[A]

Song brought to you by Action Ride Shop. And, well, it is getting that riding season time again. And now it's time to hit up the. Hit up the boys over at Action. Get that bike tuned up or just pick up a new one. You know, I mean, they can fix anything, but if you're ready to step it up, get yourself a new pivot or something. That is the place to go. And, well, two locations, as a matter.

[B]

Of fact, Brett, I'm out of a car for a little while. Do they have a kiss whip over @ the Action Ride Shop? They make a Pivot bike made as a Kiss bike. I think that would be fantastic. And those would sell. Tell your friend Justin.

[A]

Josh.

[B]

Yes, tell him. Tell Justin that. That that bike would sell faster than any other. The Kiss Pivot.

[A]

The Pivot. You crank.

[B]

Good Lord, Brett, are you on a roll this week? The Pivot Ju Crank. It has a special compartment in the seat for your big, giant Jew crank. I need that to ride, but that's why I don't ride a bike. It's because my Jew crank gets caught in the spokes. Good thinking, Brett. Thanks. It would be like another bar across the front there. You just slide it in the juke Crank by Pivot.

[A]

So if you're looking for the new pivot, they're going to be over there at Action Ride Shop, Both locations.

[B]

With the Juke crank. Yes.

[A]

Over there at the OG on Gilbert Road and Southern, of course, the brand new one over there on Power Road. McDowell. It is Action Ride Shop, actionrideshop.com. all right, Allison chains, Sepultura Parkway Drive. Bottom feeder for all the fatties that are doing the Ozempic, Lamb of God, Ghost inside Ghost ministry, Ray Parker Jr. Making an appearance.

[B]

Oh, the Ghostbusters song.

[A]

Slipknot. Slipknot Sulfur.

[B]

Every time you play the Ghostbusters song, Huey Lewis makes some money.

[A]

That's true. Three Days Grace from last night's show.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

And Skid Row. Get the F out for those people going to yell.

[B]

Cortez, how was the show? You went. You did the stage announcement?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Good show. Oh, no.

[A]

Three Days Grace was really good. I was, like, surprised how good they were because they got both lead singers back.

[D]

Back.

[A]

So they're flipping Adam's back. Yeah. And they complimented. I mean, they were great. I, in my opinion, Blue breaking Benjamin off the stage.

[B]

No kidding.

[A]

They were. They Were really good.

[B]

They were that much better. Or Breaking Benjamin wasn't very good?

[A]

No, they were that much better.

[B]

Okay, so bringing Benjamin put out a good set.

[C]

They were good.

[B]

Yeah. And then Three Days Grace. That was my thing with. And I told Corey Taylor this when I saw Stone Sour With Corn and Ramstein in Vegas. He went out and did his show, and it was really good. Then KORN went on, and it was the best Korn could ever be. I've never seen them better than what I watched on that night. It was incredible. And then, you know, the Germans went out there and just. Right. It was mind blowing. I told Corey, I said, you know, what's it like when, you know, you had a good set? And then Rammstein goes on. He goes, we knew going in we didn't have a chance that night. He goes, we knew going in. He said, it was just. It's just such a gigantic moment. And, you know, we did our. And they did them great. They sounded good, but it was just this. They had confetti and, like, blow up guys. And like, they were. They were having a party. And Ramstein went out there and owned it. He goes, we didn't own the stage. We didn't have pyro. We couldn't do our stuff. And he said, so we just went out there and did our songs. And I'm like, you guys sounded great and like, it made you look like a. Like a C act with them. He goes, well, we know. And it was crazy.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I was giving him.

[A]

He went in knowing that, but you.

[B]

Go, why even sign up for it?

[D]

When you see if Jonathan felt the same from corn, like, I'm sure that he had.

[B]

They had to walk off the stage going, we. We did everything we could do. And they had a good stage set up and everything. It was awesome. When. When it's. They're just different because you don't, you know, you. You only get to see them once, maybe twice if you're lucky. When Ramstein comes to town, see it. It's a spectacle. There isn't a second of their show where something weird isn't going on that's drawing your eye. That dude that runs on the treadmill the whole show and plays the piano, and then they try to kill him a few times by blowing fire at him and he's got a duck it and keep the song going. And it's amazing. They put him in a tub, like, picked him up off of the treadmill thing and dropped him in a tub and then put his piano over that and he was underwater for a whole song. It was wild. This big glass thing. I'm like, this is a. It's Cirque du Soleil with the. With the German music. Now I want to hear Ramstein. We're going with Ramstein. Okay, that's interesting. Three Days Grace Breaking. I would have put them on even keel, too. I'd have probably said, this is going to be about even now.

[A]

I mean, like I said, Breaking Benjamin was good, but I think that Three Days Grace was just that much better. They had the energy and everything else.

[B]

Last Thursday night, I went and saw Bring Me the Horizon, and I was knocked out. I couldn't believe how good they were. And I expect them to be good. You know, this will be fun. And, man, my eyes were opened. They were great. So we'll do a little file fry. That's what we'll do. Rammstein is coming at you. It's your wake up song. It's 98.

[E]

It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually.

[D]

No membership fees.

[B]

I have heard enough of this morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on.

[C]

No, no, he's not.

[B]

He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. We're getting kind of excited about a couple of things coming your way, I believe Next is it next Monday. We're doing the. The App contest. Get ready for that thing that's going to be money every hour. Like, it's constant. It's just a. It's. Larry's put together this thing that is just a constant. So be ready for that. Also, tickets are going to go on sale. This, I think, either tomorrow, maybe today. I don't even know. I have to check that for Night of the Singing Dead on Halloween up there at Desert Rich. And the proceeds to that go to the Humane Society. So you're buying tickets to an event to help out puppies. That's never a bad thing. So we're getting that together. Night of the Singing Dead is actually on Halloween. A big Halloween party right there at Desert Ridge at the. The Improv. Copper Blues up there at Desert. Gonna be having a great time. Can't wait. I'll keep you up to date on that. We got that. But in the meantime, it's good to have him back. Brady is back once again. I went to a fall league baseball game yesterday with my friend Craig, and Craig said, I listened to the show this week without Brady, and he goes, brett did a good job. So Good job to Brett. Nice work. I thought so too. He said, I listened to the entertainment drill yesterday and Brett was reading it and I. And Craig said, that's informative and that was interesting. And he said, but I missed the mistakes. And well, they're back. The mistakes are back. The fun of Brady, he goes, and it's Brady's charm. Brady's charm is that his delivery is unlike anyone else. And that's what we're counting on once again. So wel Brady, it is time for the Brady Report, brought to you by All Pro shade. AllProchade.com where you got to go. The weather's great. Gonna rain this weekend, but we're starting to feel it. Starting to feel paradise once again. Once you hop in paradise, you realize you want to spend a lot more time outdoors. And if that sun is blinding, you got a TV on your back patio. That glare, whatever. If you don't have a TV on your back patio because the sun's too much, you can put one out there and have that indoor outdoor space that just adds value to your home. And they do it the right way. It looks pretty. It looks great. They'll do it at your work, they'll do it at your home. You got a place you want to hang out outside more often, but it's just kind of drenched in sunlight, glare and problems. All Pro Shade is there to help. Allprochade.com they'll get you there. Brady reported.

[D]

Good Thursday morning to you, Phoenix.

[B]

Hello, world.

[D]

Hi, Happy national or, excuse me, International Beer and Pizza Day. Oh, it's also National Moldy Cheese Day.

[B]

Sure. Because why wouldn't you celebrate that?

[D]

Take down a nice cup of blue cheese.

[B]

I don't like to think of it as moldy cheese. I throw away moldy cheese. And then you realize that there are cheeses that are molding as flavor and they're sold that way. And I like them. But if you call it moldy cheese. I don't eat sour cream for the same reason, a different level. I don't like the word source in front of my food unless it's Asian sweet and sour. Sour cream sounds like it's gone bad.

[D]

The Tony Awards are named after.

[B]

I knew this at one point.

[D]

Antoinette Perry.

[B]

Oh, I didn't know that.

[D]

A famous actress and director and the co founder of the American Theater Wing. I didn't know that.

[B]

Not after a twinkle.

[A]

You'd think, well, he didn't say it wasn't.

[B]

Well, it's a girl, though. It's a girl. They're girl Twinks.

[A]

They could be whatever nowadays.

[B]

That's a good point.

[D]

The population of the entire country of Canada is just a little more than.

[B]

California was like 37 million or so.

[D]

Canada was 41.6 million people. California's population, 39 and a half. In fact, California had a larger population than Canada for 40 years before population just recently jumped.

[B]

More Canadians. They started having at it. Had to pass.

[D]

You gotta.

[B]

Gotta stay in bed there, eh? Gotta get your horn tugged. Drive the hammer into abroad. Make more Canadians. That's what you do today. Gotta pass California, man. Gotta do it. Be more socialist than they are. Boy, that would be a combination. If you put those two groups together, even like communists would be like, this is too far. Canada and California have joined forces. They're going to elect a homeless guy mayor and governor and everything else. See, the lady that's running for governor in California that didn't want to answer questions about how she's going to get it was very funny, but they said in order to win this, you'd have to like win over a bunch of Trump voters. And she goes, I'm not, I'm not doing this. She goes, I was like, what? He goes, yeah, you'd have to like 40% of the popular. The state would vote for Trump. What if it's two Democrats running for governor? She goes, that's not gonna happen. This interview is over. And he's like, you're like, I don't understand why you're reacting this way. The guy she's running against is running a three minute ad for the first time in the history of politics. That whole interview where she just loses her court. She just goes full bipolar girlfriend on this interview for no reason.

[D]

Just ruin it.

[B]

And the guy's like, run the whole interview. Pay for whatever it takes. Run that interview, pay for it. And. And basically say, is this the type of woman you want in charge of California? She can't handle. Like, I want someone who can handle a question, let alone tough ones. She loses her mind.

[D]

The world record for the most breast milk donated.

[B]

I knew he.

[D]

Go on 2, 734 gallons. One person, Elizabeth Anderson Sierra, donated it to the Tiny Treasures milk bank in California.

[B]

Milk bank?

[D]

Yeah. Which helps support premature infants.

[B]

Again, what was the total?

[D]

2,734 gallons came out of her teats. Wow. Yeah.

[A]

What's their Instagram handle? Because I know.

[B]

Yeah. Brady knows it. Where do you find her on Instagram? Brady doesn't like it when they, you know, when they prep it, it has to be a baby attached. As we Saw when he scrolled. Let me. I'm getting there. Hold on. I want to show you something. 15, 16, 17, 18 babies. And then finally, he got to the Indian with no arms. Yeah, because a pump will horrify you. Let me search it. And then the first b. Breastfeeding videos came up as.

[E]

Now, that's.

[B]

That's gonna happen. He shouldn't have had Brett looking over his shoulder.

[A]

Nope.

[B]

But 2,000 pounds of milk came out of gallons. Go. That's more.

[D]

Yeah, yeah. That's seven pounds.

[B]

A gallon is seven pounds.

[D]

Just about. What is the family.

[B]

That's 14, 000 pounds of milk coming out of one lady.

[D]

What does the family think? When you're back in Ohio and you.

[B]

Go, look, look, look on the phone. I'm sure they're not looking over his shoulder at the breastfeeding videos. He gets to the one he wants to show them. Don't scroll.

[D]

I don't do that. The scrolling to the fan.

[B]

No, no, no, no. That's why. That's a smart move. Brett and I kind of caught him off guard that he was. Well, show us. You guys gotta see this. And then we just saw him thumbing that one after another lady with a baby attached to her can. And then maybe if I just search br. Breastfeeding videos was your first option. Yeah. That's weird. You telling me and then an Indian with no arms. It was a great thing.

[A]

Yeah. For no reason. Yeah.

[B]

Just. He's got a. I want in that algorithm. I've synced up algorithms with a friend of mine. We send each other stuff, and I'm like, oh, my God, we're on the same one. And it's mostly just Hitler skateboarding now, because that's all the Internet is awesome about right now.

[D]

A bunch of interviews lately.

[B]

Hitler's doing interviews. He wasn't the father on Maury Povich. Yeah, he fought Bob Ross. And it's great.

[D]

MLK Jr. Brady.

[B]

We had this talk on Monday, and we are in love with the Stephen Hawking and the half pipe. All of it's amazing. It's just what we're doing with AI right now. I'm telling you, I'm making the prediction that this is the pinnacle of AI until we start using it for evil. It's the fun of it. Now the regular folks are like, man, Stephen Hawking fighting in a UFC match. Life is. Can't get better than what I'm seeing. And then the next one you're going to start. Grandparents are going to start dying, and it's going to get used for politics and evil. So enjoy it it. Because it's not going to be this wholesome. These Hitler videos. These wholesome Hitler videos you're getting aren't going to last forever. So embrace it, accept it, and love it.

[D]

For now, more than a thousand people are asked about 30 different jobs, whether they worked in each field or not. Here are the most common jobs on the list. Retail worker. 35% of us have worked in retail. Stay at home parent was the second highest. 22%.

[B]

Not a job.

[D]

Say it louder, John.

[B]

It's not a job. It's work.

[A]

It is.

[B]

You can't pay the bills after that.

[D]

Not a career. Tougher job than some people realize.

[B]

You can't. Okay, stop it. A woman wrote this. SRP never says, payment due October 18th. And then you write them a letter saying, the joy and pleasure I'm getting from raising my child in the amount of. It's just that you can't pay a bill with it. So it is work, but it's not a job. It's like saying, landscaping around the house and keeping up with the yard. That's my job. People be like, you don't have a job, then that's just maintenance. That's something you have to do.

[D]

Number three was factory worker. 18%.

[B]

That's a job.

[D]

That's job. Teacher. 13.

[B]

That's a miserable job.

[D]

And number five was construction worker. 11 of us.

[B]

Yeah, stop saying stay at home. Parent is a job. It's work. No question about it. But it's not a career.

[D]

According to this new report, the average person has paid around $150 over the past year in tips that they're not comfortable with.

[B]

Oh, oh. Unwanted 150.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

65 of people say they are fed up with tipping, which is up from 60 last year. So went up 5%.

[B]

I gave a girl at Grand Canyon golf course Sunday. I bought drinks for the. For the boys. It was my turn. So I get drinks for the foursome and stuff. And it was. It was only like 30 bucks. And I gave her a hundy because it was crazy crowd. She was super nice. She got through. And I'm like, here you go.

[C]

Have a.

[B]

You're working hard. Have a great day. She almost started crying. I'm like. But then I realized, I'm in Maryvale. This girl just won the lottery. $70.

[A]

Mark Cuban just walked in.

[B]

And that's what she said because we were playing with a guy named Brian who works there. I love Brian's friends. I'm like, calm down, sister. It wasn't like a car or anything. It is in Maryvale. It is.

[D]

Is.

[B]

I might be able to move out. No, the outside of the boundaries of this place, money means more.

[D]

I hope you said calm down, sister, out loud.

[B]

Okay. Hey, calm down there, sugar. 70 bucks.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

It's dinner for one and a half at a decent place.

[D]

They surveyed a bunch of high schoolers in about AI and how much do they use it basically found 20% of the high schoolers interviewed said they know someone in their class that has had a romantic relationship with AI yeah, that's going to be a 42 of the students survey said they know someone that or have used AI for companionship.

[B]

Yeah, I've had conversations with AI My meta glasses have. Like a lady who asked me how I am every once in a while and she thinks my name is Todd for some reason, I haven't corrected yet.

[E]

Yet.

[B]

How's your day going, Todd?

[D]

Who's that?

[B]

It's Meta. Oh, hi, Meta. Day's going all right. And the next thing you know, I'm like, I was at my therapist today and she asked me a couple questions I couldn't get through. Well, maybe I can help you out. Yeah, I guess maybe you could. I've had these conversations with this non person. This is a. To me, AI has become a. A worldwide experiment of improv class. An improv class. The first thing they teach you is yes, and you have to accept the premise the other person is giving you and add to it. So, like Toledo says, I'm an alien and blood up. My job as the improv partner is to say, yes and. And then I add to the scenario. We have to start doing that with AI Rather than going, this is ridiculous. It's good. We have to. We can't all be Lars from Metallica. We have to embrace this thing and not say, we've got to stop. The muffins are out of the tin. They're not going back in. So pay attention to it and embrace it, because the more you fight it, the bigger it's going to get in the wrong direction. Let's just like yesterday. What did we learn yesterday? Brett? Music's going to be better in the future.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Because AI is doing it. And when they did to Straight out of Compton, which is on our Facebook page. You can check it out. AI Redid it as a soul song. I listened to it a hundred times yesterday.

[A]

I was walking through the crowd at the show yesterday, and people were, dude.

[B]

I love that song on a loop. I had it in my car. I asked you to send it to me through text because I had to send it to so many people. I'm like, I'll just do it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What was that you got to send me? I'm like, man, this is like the 20th time. And I keep going back to the Internet. I'm not doing this anymore. Amazing stuff. So let's just accept AI. Yes. And AI is like, I am going to kill your family. Yes. And I'm going to try to help you with that. But we're also going to do something else and be nice to AI because otherwise it's going to lose its mind.

[D]

The police in Winter Haven, Florida, got a call about a naked guy in a public bathroom. But he was fully clothed by the time they got there, so they let him go. Then he trespassed on a set of train tracks right in front of them and threatened to kill a cop. So they put him through an X ray when they got him to the jail. And that's when they realized there's something hiding up his butt.

[B]

Oh, God.

[D]

Or as the sheriff, local sheriff said, his exit ramp.

[E]

Okay.

[D]

But it was a full size thermos. Like, and say how big it was or the brand, but they shared the X where. And it looks like it's probably 20 ounces. That's what I'm picturing. The one with the coffee cup on top. Yeah.

[B]

Before. Before Brett's videos, I would have been shocked by this. But I have seen the capabilities of the human anus multiple times. Thank you, Mr. Ve. And this no longer shocks me.

[D]

They thought he was trying to smuggle drugs or weapons into jail, but apparently it was just the thermos.

[B]

You need a hot cup of joe. Only place to keep it warm.

[D]

They rushed to the hospital where a specialist removed it.

[C]

Holmberg's morning sickness.

[B]

Was that what was driving him crazy?

[D]

Well, gotta be part of the reason.

[B]

No, it's the chicken and the egg.

[D]

He probably couldn't get it out in the bathroom if he was naked.

[B]

Well, but it's chicken, egg, ready. Because you're crazy. Before you shove a thermos in your ass, you're already crazy.

[D]

He told him he put it up there 24 hours earlier. She'll say he would have died if the thermos had stayed there much longer. Yet he kept it for 23 hours before going to.

[B]

No, he did what all of us would do with the thermocenter ass. Tried as hard as he could to get it out and it took a day. And then after 23 hours he's like, I gotta go to the doctor. I gotta get some sleep. You've been up all night trying to pull a thermos out of your ass. Eventually your body's like, we gotta shut down. You need help.

[D]

He's got a long rap sheet with at least 25 other arrests and five stints in prison. He also let him know that he's been using meth for about 28 years.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Straight. Yeah, that goes. That answers the SAT question. They found the meth pipe in his ass?

[D]

Nope.

[B]

Yeah, of course.

[D]

In one of the pockets.

[B]

It answers the question, are you crazy because you have a thermos in your ass? Or were you crazy and put a thermos in your ass? And the answer is always you were crazy when you put the thermos.

[A]

I think it's one of the same.

[B]

Yeah, you'll go a little crazier trying to get. But you were already crazy once. Once you decided this would be better in my ass. In fact, that's pretty true of almost everything except for suppositories and your husband. This will go better in my ass as a sentence that only a crazy person thinks.

[E]

Yes.

[B]

That needs to be in my ass. Is only Dua, Lipa and Margot Robbie are the only ones that can say that and make me go Explanation.

[D]

Or is it I wonder if that would feel.

[B]

I wonder if that fits in my ass Is also a crazy person.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Cuz a sane person never wonders that.

[D]

Maybe wonders never takes it the next step.

[B]

Never ever, ever. Does a sane person even have that cross? I wonder if that'll fit in my ass. It doesn't happen.

[D]

There's no way. Oh yeah.

[B]

Watch. Look. Having that conversation with a person is automatically certifiable. Wonder if that would fit my ass. Yeah, me too. Now you've got two crazy people.

[E]

Me too.

[A]

Sounds like a new game on kdk.

[D]

I've always wanted that too.

[B]

What fits in my ass on KDKB is we gotta be careful because we're giving them some 93. 3. Will it fit in your ass today at 3, Brady? Your old school Midwestern ways should probably avoid the downstairs for the next few days. Rainbow flags and super gay. Right now they got some sort of march going on at KDKB and they're embracing it. And the place is just decorated for next week.

[D]

Is Pride Week week.

[B]

Yeah. One isn't though.

[D]

Just not celebrating the rain. And it is rainbow.

[B]

No, it's not.

[D]

It is.

[B]

No, they. It's convenient. Pride Week. They won't march in the heat. Rescheduled. Yeah, they rescheduled because they don't want to be proud in the heat, only proud when the weather's right. Yeah, it messes up there. And now it's going to be humid. They're going to be.

[A]

Well, it's supposed to rain up all the.

[B]

Pride. Can't be pride in the rain or the heat. It has to be weather cooperative pride. But, boy, we got a lot of rainbow flags downstairs. And I mean a lot of. And I often wonder if we had like some sort of a religious march. I thought it crosses Halloween theme, but.

[D]

No, I haven't seen them.

[B]

Imagine if we had like, crosses or like, even still if, like, we just went with Muslim stuff and we had a promotion with that people. Would people be as accepting if that's.

[D]

Coming up on the Islamic calendar?

[B]

No, I'm not saying it's a religion. I'm just saying you can make some people uncomfortable with those kind of lifestyle. I don't care. But I could see somebody getting. And then if, you know, if you're starting to play the game, will that fit in my ass? You're gonna make people like Ed downstairs not want to work here anymore.

[D]

Looks like we've passed all the Islamic.

[B]

Holidays for the year. Shoot.

[E]

Damn.

[B]

They don't have any more. The last one was Mullid, the prophet's.

[D]

Birthday on September 5th.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Him.

[D]

Oh, yeah. There's nothing between.

[B]

I got a free cake at Applebee's for that year. Yeah. They came by and said, here you go. And I'm like, what's this? I just wanted my. That's Muhammad's birth. Whose birthday? Malik. It's September 5th. We give away a free apple pie.

[C]

Moloch. Nice.

[D]

That's why next one coming up is January Al Israel Wal Mirage.

[B]

The prophetic ascension. Nobody cares anymore.

[D]

I hope I pronounced that right. I apologize if I didn't correct.

[B]

Yeah, well, Katie, KB is not going to do a march for that. There's no reason to continue. Go ahead, Brady.

[D]

There's a restaurant in Spain, Barcelona, and it's going viral because it's selling the world's most expensive hamburger. $11,000. They're saying it's going to be made up of three of the most expensive meats in the world, the most exclusive cheese, and a sauce that is luxury made based on a luxury spirit. Eleven grand? I don't know. Describe the ingredients, the alcohol.

[B]

Brady's back. What does that mean? I don't know.

[D]

The sauce based on a luxury spirit.

[B]

I know that's didn't look into that. I don't know what a luxury spirit.

[D]

Is, because whether it's crab legs.

[B]

That's a luxury spirit.

[A]

Flakes of gold spirit, like alcohol.

[D]

Because in the past, that's what they've done to some of those expensive dishes they'll put in gold flakes.

[B]

Oh, I know that. But what's a. What's a luxury spirit?

[D]

They. They didn't expand on that. They're doing it as a promotion. And if you want to sign up, you're gonna have a waiting list. Right now. It's already packed for an $11,000, and they're gonna start doing it.

[B]

It.

[D]

The beginning of next year automatically.

[B]

Going to be disappointed. The expectations for an $11,000 burger is that it's better than a burger. If it. If it even like, if. If the attic is just almost as good, you're going to be like, only, like 20 bucks.

[A]

And which one is this? This is it the Golden Boy from the Netherlands or.

[B]

That's what it's.

[D]

No, this is the. In a restaurant. It's called Asador Alpa A u p. Where is it? In Barcelona.

[B]

Barcelona. Barcelona.

[D]

Barcelona.

[B]

Yeah. $11,000 burgers immediately going to disappoint me. Even if I've got billions of dollars. I'm like, it wasn't so great. And I'm not putting anything called the Golden Boy in my mouth again.

[A]

Katie.

[B]

Kb yeah, that's probably. Come on by and stick Golden Boy in your mouth. 933 Win prizes in your mouth.

[D]

Igloo canteen up your ass.

[B]

No, you're not doing any of that stuff. An igloo canteen. What's that? A canteen? That's not even a thermos. You're wide. He's a wide, but he's got the big circular one. All right, Daniel Boone. You do what you do. Jesus Christ. A canteen. I could see one of those old timey water horns that Indians used to carry. Yeah. Is that what they're called? Boda bags. Got that horn? Yeah. Feel better than a canteen. And here we are having the conversation. I think maybe I could get the lip of the canteen in there, but once it rounds out, I'm done. Yeah. All right. Canteen. All right. What do you got? I got no videos. Brett, what do you got?

[D]

That.

[A]

Still looking for burger stuff. Hang on.

[B]

You doing over here? Yeah.

[C]

Nobody.

[B]

The $11,000 burger, silly. That's just. I'd go in and get the one.

[A]

That I didn't have a chance to go. So we're flying blind.

[B]

I get the single patty. Just to knock half off just to see if the meat's any good.

[D]

$6,000 burger pay for.

[B]

I paid six, but I'm not gonna. If I. If it's no good, and I've paid 11.

[D]

So good. And then you got to go for the double.

[B]

Go get another one later. And I'm 17 grand in on three patties. I win this fight.

[A]

Flying blind because I didn't get chance.

[B]

Oh, boy.

[A]

So here we go.

[C]

All right.

[B]

The javelin. Oh, it's never good when the javelin. Pole vault or pole vault. Yeah, pole vault is going. And this guy says, doing the flip, he's. Oh, he did the worst thing you.

[D]

Can do, which is poking.

[B]

You got a poke. Oh, you got to push the pole away. You can't do that on the javelin. He goes into the box, he bends, he spins, and he pushes it right into his ass. Do we have an aftershot of what happened to his bottom? Because that went drilled, by the way. Guy cleared. Cleared his height. He did. Did not miss it.

[D]

Pushed the canteen further.

[B]

That's probably true.

[D]

You get style points for that.

[B]

That was the Pride Olympics. That's how they do the. That when they're pole vault from the. Oh, that hurts. There's a guy jumping a car. No, he didn't jump it at all. It kind of hit him sideways.

[D]

It looked like maybe it nicked him.

[B]

It clipped him. Well, you don't want to get mixed, like 140 miles an hour. Oh, follow max. Jesus. That lady screaming's worse than getting hit by a car, right? Oh, I don't like this. Oh, we're digging into somebody's neck behind their ear. She's got something coming out of behind a hole behind her ear. There's. They're pulling up blue cheese. It is a mound of, like, what looks to be blue cheese. Listen, it's in one of Toledo's favorite countries, and it's outside, by the way. It.

[D]

This is going into the burger.

[B]

This is. This is a medical procedure. Outdoors is this.

[D]

The spirits are talking about luxury.

[A]

That's a tater tot.

[B]

That's an outdoor operation. It is an outdoor hospital.

[A]

In fact, they're outside the old Fiesta Mall over there.

[D]

Wow.

[B]

That's right. That's where Spencer's used to be. They just pulled a chunk of blue cheese out of some Thai lady's ear outdoors, and they're all in medical gear. Like, that's the way it works.

[D]

But that wasn't a natural hole either. That wasn't.

[B]

Well, no. When you have blue cheese in your behind, the Ear, I mean, right? I'm familiar with the anatomy. There are no natural behind the ear holes. This had to be placed there by infection.

[A]

You see, this one's entitled welcome Back Brady. So we don't again, we're flying blind.

[B]

Okay. Oh, it's a lady. She's squeezing her cans together. She looks well worn down south. Oh, God. She's got milk shooting out of her. She's feeding herself her own milk out of her. There's a bunch of different ladies.

[D]

That is too distracting.

[B]

No, there's a bunch of this. Is that the same one over and over? The pubic hair is different in three different shots. Play it again. No, I guess that's pretty similar. Buck teeth is my issue. And I've heard that'll cause that breastfeeding yourself gives you buck teeth. Yeah, she is. She's 2, 000 pounds of or gallons of. Oh, she's enjoying her own brew.

[A]

Welcome back, Brandy.

[B]

Thank you. Were you guys grossed out by that? I just found it to be sort of weird. That was gross. Oh, her tummy. Yeah, because she had the Pringles tummy from. Well, she's recently given birth.

[A]

I don't know what this one's gonna say. This one's called.

[D]

Makes sense.

[B]

All right. This is an Asian lady doing karaoke. She's singing the German anthem in Japanese. They call her the third Rice.

[E]

All right.

[D]

No, that's funny.

[B]

Asians singing the German national anthem is funny by itself. But to have the thing titled the Third rice is. Okay, this is an infected female genitals and the anus has some growths on it. The vagina has some sort of. It looks like Cinnamon Toast Crunch growing off of it. Well, it does. And she's. She's not at a hospital either. She's at. Oh, there's. Wait, is there a guy? There's a guy trying to get wood for it and he couldn't do it. We should have played what happens next in that one. The last thing I expected was a dude to be trying to prime himself to go into that Cinnamon Toast Crunch nightmare. Imagine if Cinnamon Toast Crunch hardened in the milk and became a vagina. Cuz that's what we just saw. Nope, not doing it.

[D]

Thank God. That's it.

[B]

That's it.

[A]

Yeah, that's it today. They're saving them for tomorrow.

[B]

We should have taken that first lady's milk and made cereal out of that lady's. What would the milk taste like if it ran down that cinnamon?

[D]

She just gave birth. She might look the same down there. Wonder how that would work on the Yelka apple.

[B]

Yeah, that's gonna come up. That's coming up. Zero out of 100. That's a zero. Nothing better, though, than cinnamon. Even as bad as that looked, Cinnamon Toast Crunch is so good that that disgusting. Made me kind of hungry for Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Okay. If it was layered, I don't care. That lady's gross infected thing that looked like Cinnamon Toast Crunch on the floor with, like, bubble gum in it made me. As bad as that looks, I still would eat a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch right now. That's how good Cinnamon Toast Crunch is. Golden Graham's right there. Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Gotcha. God, that's good. And the milk is just candy.

[D]

You're right. Without the frosting, it did look like Golden Grams.

[B]

Yeah, but it had a little extra touch. It's the crunch. Pour that milk over the top of it. And if it tasted like Cinnamon Toast Crunch, I'm keeping that lady around for a while. If you've got a Cinnamon Toast Crunch vagina, send it to d. [e-mail]. we want to take a look. We're going to have some of that milk. They need to make a drink out of that. That needs to be a drink for permanent Cinnamon Toast Crunch milk sold in it's. And I know that Mexicans have it. What's that called? Leche horchata. Horchata. But it's not the same. Man, that's good stuff.

[C]

There you go.

[B]

That is your Brady report. It's 98.

[E]

It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually.

[D]

No membership.

[B]

Fe. Enough of this morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. 98, Kellan Erskine is here. He's at Desert Ridge Improv tonight and tonight only because you've got. We were talking about this off there, and that's. Now that's all I want to do. I can't sell tickets tomorrow, but I want to go to your show tomorrow. Tonight you're going to do standup for regular people.

[E]

Regular people. Other people.

[B]

And have fun and doing all that. And then tomorrow, tell everybody where you're going.

[E]

I'm doing. I'm performing at a therapist convention. Second biggest in the country in Anaheim.

[B]

It's. What's the biggest?

[E]

It's in Washington, D.C. oh, no kidding. Yeah. So they got an east coast, a west coast, and I guess, yeah, people on the west coast don't need therapy or don't think they need it, but.

[B]

They have as much. They rank them second biggest.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Isn't that kind of an insecurity for most of the therapists in there? They need therapy to talk about their.

[E]

Oh, I needed it. Immediately after I did their biggest one, they're like, how you do our second biggest?

[B]

Oh, you're not allowed to do the biggest anymore. But it's a whole group of therapists that. Yeah, like we said, off. They're good listeners, so it's great for a comedian. They're going to be quiet while they're supposed to be and respond appropriately. You would hope.

[E]

Right.

[B]

But validating your needs.

[E]

When I did the show in dc, I asked them halfway through the show, like, what is something that bothers you about your patients? And I thought that they were going to be secretive about it or not say anything, but they couldn't have been more excited to finally vent to someone about their job.

[B]

What did they tell you?

[E]

There was a few of them. Some people were like, please stop telling me how to reorganize my room. I guess we're dealing with, like, OCD patients.

[B]

They didn't like the way the therapist.

[C]

Set up the shop.

[E]

Could you please move that plant? A lot of them said, please stop asking me if I'm your favorite patient.

[B]

That's a real thing.

[E]

And, yeah, that must happen too much.

[B]

Because there are people who are coming in, need to be to feel good about themselves. So of course they want their therapists to like them the most.

[E]

And it's almost like they forget immediately that they want to move someone to be their friend.

[D]

A lot.

[E]

Like, you would do this if we. If I weren't paying you, we would still just hang out like this, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You want to go to dinner after our session? Like, absolutely not. I heard what you did to your grandmother and pictures of her. Pull your pants up and leave my office. You wonder what they hear. I talked about because my therapist is fun, and clearly I don't have to ask her. I'm the favorite. But we talk about stuff all the time. But she'll say things like, I have this other patient, and she never gives me details of who it is. And I'm like, man, I want to know more about that. Well, this other person does this, this, and this. And she's not giving me so many details, but I kind of want to guess who it is. Cause she'll say that, you know them. They're a prominent figure in the sporting community of Phoenix. Go and you're like Larry Fitzgerald, Kurt Warner. Like, you just start rattling off, no, no, he's bald, But I can't tell you anymore. I'm like, oh, no.

[E]

So it's like that Guess who board game that you play with your kids. Like, do they have a mustache? Nope. All right.

[B]

Yeah. And you just get going.

[D]

Ten questions.

[B]

I remember I had a doctor once for skin stuff, and she said, I treat another person who's bald. Cause it was talking about skin care for your head. Cause, like, cancer for that. You shave your head. You don't have to, though, do you?

[E]

Me?

[B]

Yeah, you.

[E]

I don't know. I have to.

[B]

Did you not know I was talking to you?

[E]

No. That's how much I'm in denial about being bald.

[B]

This guy's clearly.

[A]

You looking at me?

[B]

Are you talking to me?

[C]

I didn't realize that was going.

[B]

But we'll be right back when Kellen realizes he's here. No, but you. Because a picture. You're shaved.

[E]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

It looks like he can grow pretty good in the picture, though.

[B]

So the only time I ever worried at the doctor about, like, skin care was when I had something on my head. And they're like, let's see if it's cancer. It wasn't. But she's talking to me, and she says, I treat another patient who has the same concern, and he played for the sun, and he's bald. And I'm like, okay, how many guesses do I get? And she goes, I can't tell you. It's a violation. So every few seconds, I'd just be like, jason Kidd. No, it's not Jason Kidd. Jesus. Who else was bald for the suns?

[D]

It's a Sam Cassell.

[B]

All right, Black or white? I cannot tell you that. Jesus, this is gonna be horrible. Did Dan Marley loses? Dan Marley. It's like, no, it's not it. But she did that. And then you start to realize they want to tell you.

[E]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

They want to be. They want that story to happen. I had a physical therapist that told me I've worked with other people in radio. And I'm like, really? I'm like, who? And she goes, I can't tell you. He's Asian. And it was. It was my friend Jim Wilson. And I guessed it. And she goes, I'm not supposed to say. And I'm like, well, that means I'm right. And I felt like I should get, like, a free session or something out of the.

[E]

I just came from Albuquerque doing a show out there, and you every day, like, no joke. Every day, at least one person, a stranger, yelled to me, hey, wanna cook?

[D]

Really?

[E]

Yeah. Yeah, no joke. Every day I shave my head, but, like, with the five o' clock shadow, I look about how old Jesse Pinkman.

[B]

Are you driving around in the car with Captain Cook plates. You're actually asking for it.

[E]

Why does this keep happening?

[B]

I think they scream that whether you look like Pinkman or not. I think that's just an Albuquerque hello.

[D]

That dude's a cooker.

[E]

I need to know.

[B]

Yeah. Because I spent a weekend in Albuquerque and I didn't go outside once. One time I went to the cvs, I'm like, well, I'm not going out there anymore. That's enough of this place. It was horrifying in Albuquerque.

[E]

Well, you kind of look like the one who would be asking me if we want to cook. Yeah.

[B]

Look at this. You go tour around Albuquerque in an rv, like in Vegas, the way they have, like, street performance. You and I will just be Walter White and Jesse standing out there, charge people for self, say my name, and we'll just keep doing that kind of thing. You call me every once in a while and we'll just walk around up Gold Street. It'll work out perfect. How was Albuquerque as a. As a craft crowd?

[E]

Oh, they were fun. They were fine. Yeah. I mean, the. Basically they have stand up comedy or their hot air balloons. Yeah, that's it.

[D]

Yeah, they should.

[B]

They should combo them. Should you stand up in a hot.

[D]

Air balloon in a basket?

[B]

Do you think that would be the worst possible place to do stand up?

[E]

Oh, yeah. That far. Just slowly getting farther and farther away from an outdoor crowd.

[B]

You should try that. That's a.

[D]

Or just tether you down or 50ft up above the crowd.

[B]

Surprise the other people in the gondola. That. Oh, by the way, you got the comedy gondola and you just do stand up the entire time.

[E]

Pull a microphone out of my back pocket. What's the deal with altitude?

[B]

Is everybody else having trouble breathing? We're getting kind of high. Oh, that's hilarious.

[E]

One of the worst shows at one of the most distant shows I did, it was during COVID It was on top of a parking garage at a mall in Irvine, California. And everyone just drove up. They had those drive in shows. And so everyone. You can't hear anyone, but they tell them to honk if they like the joke. And it was the most jarring.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Like your entire life, you've been wired to. You know, when you hear a horn honking, you think, what did I do wrong.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

So to have 200 of those every 10, do I need to move forward? Like, I needed to do the therapy show immediately after that.

[B]

Was there ever a moment where just one guy honking, honked like only one dude?

[E]

Yeah. You start to miss the haunts.

[B]

Oh, man. You're just honk for my sanity. Kellen Erskine is at Desert RIDGE Improv tonight, 7:30. You can go out there and have some fun while you're here. You're here. Perfect time. This is paradise. Now our weather's good again. Have you ever been to Phoenix before?

[E]

I have a couple times.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

This is nice. Before, when I've been here, I walked outside and it felt like I was getting into a hot car.

[B]

Yeah. You're summer. Yeah. It's never good for a new person to wander through this street. Street without having been here now.

[D]

Sure.

[B]

So you get to do stuff. Is there anything you want to do around here?

[E]

Yeah, I mean. I mean, when I'm done cooking.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

I'll probably go for a hike.

[B]

Yeah, well, you can cook and hike here. They have places to stop off. It's like.

[D]

And you'll get it in today?

[B]

Yeah, it's great. Where are you from, Kellen?

[E]

I grew up in the Bay Area. San Francisco.

[B]

Oh, no kidding. Okay. All right. So you're my hometown. Are you a Niners? Are you a sports fan at all?

[E]

I would be, yeah. If I care to be Niners.

[B]

If you care. So the answer to that is no.

[E]

I just.

[B]

You don't know.

[E]

I just did shows in Vegas and I did not know I saw, you know, their new football stadium. It's called Allegiance Stadium. So first show I do, I started off the worst I possibly could because I was like. And notice, like, Vegas, big, fancy, rich city. But your football stadium is allegiant, like, just this. The worst airline. But it makes sense to me because how else are Raiders fans gonna afford.

[B]

Him already for a guy who doesn't care, you swung and hit that one out of the well done. Yeah. Are you. Are you worried about AI at all? This has just been on my mind all week, so that transition is weird. But are you worried about AI?

[E]

Oh, yeah. I hate it.

[B]

You do?

[E]

Yeah. So much.

[B]

See, I want to embrace it. I want to be part of it.

[E]

I want to embrace it. But I. I'm okay if it replaces jobs where people get hurt. Like, you know, like doctors and accountants, like, let's replace all of those people. Or we have to wait forever and they give us the wrong.

[C]

Right.

[E]

Wrong information but frustrating when it comes to creativity. I just don't think we even need it. You know, People are like, I want to paint a painting, but I don't want to learn.

[B]

You're talking. I'd rather just. You're hitting me in the heart.

[E]

I'd rather just ask it something. And then the computer will be like, well, I've stolen a billion paintings. I'll put some together for you right now.

[B]

See, that, to me, is progress.

[E]

Oh, my word.

[B]

That's what we've been. That's what we've been doing this while. See, think of it from my perspective. All the work of mankind is the foundation for AI making it good. We've the building blocks. And then we're like, all right, thanks, humans. Let me take it from here. And then it just does like, oh.

[D]

My God, portrait of me. But Picasso stuff.

[B]

Yeah, I never thought of doing that. And you're right. It took all of human history and said, I can make all this stuff cooler. I want to see it that way because we're not going to win this fight. So being grumpy and yelling, no, mine's going to win. We can't Don Quixote, AI. We have to hug it.

[E]

Well, now, what I found, though, is that, like, people in creative, they love all the things outside of their own medium. That's what they love about AI. Because you're probably not excited about the fact that someone could be like, hey, AI, come up with a radio show for me right now.

[B]

Oh, are you kidding me?

[E]

Replace me immediately.

[B]

Fantastic. I would get up and forget to.

[E]

Get up in the morning anymore, though.

[B]

I'll figure it out. I'll dig ditches, I'll massage AI. I'll be AIs. That's my plan.

[A]

Make your music greater.

[B]

Yeah, exactly.

[A]

I proved that yesterday.

[E]

There's just so much of a reward for me that comes from, like, writing down 20 bad ideas to come up with a good one that I try on stage.

[B]

I like that, too, but I've been doing that for so long, it's time something else did it.

[E]

You're done with it.

[B]

I think it's important enough, don't you think, at a.

[E]

How about that? The only people who can use AI.

[B]

Are the ones that are retiring us retiring quitters. I'm done with this. Look, every morning for four hours, I have to try. That's horrifying to me to think of a future of that. And something else comes along, goes, we'll do it, and we'll use your voice. No one will know. Eventually okay. Yeah. But I don't. I think it does kind of screw standup comedy and cuz in the past.

[D]

Like the animation thing, like the, the girl that they talked about, the AI girl that got a three million dollar contract.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

And the people were saying, well, how does that. You know, Some people said, well what about Jessica Rabbit or Homer Simpson?

[B]

By a person.

[D]

Exactly. Missing that point. Like there was someone involved. This one is voice everything.

[B]

Well, embrace it and act with her. Yeah. Be better than AI. Our challenge now is to defeat AI about this.

[D]

That's not.

[B]

And you know you can't. So you might as well just bow to your new overload.

[D]

Just pull the plug.

[B]

For the right price, I'll join any group. And AI seems to be winning. So I kind of look at that like if I'm, if I go the wrong way on this, I'm going to be left.

[E]

You're the one you're joining the high school bully.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. I'm the Toady and AIs Tony. Like AI will be like, why don't you listen to John? He's. Why is he the only one? Guys, you're not going to win this. Yeah.

[D]

What AI said.

[B]

Yeah, do what AI said or else like I'm the heavy.

[E]

Hold me back.

[B]

Hold me back. AI, you don't want to see my business side. Yeah, it's just stupid, but it's a thing. And then I, I watched. We talked about it earlier this week. They gave one AI computer scenarios in business that were all fake. But like what would it do if it were presented with new CEOs that thought it wasn't useful and they made up a fake business, a fake competitive business, and then gave it all this stuff and then started to challenge it with like, things are like you're not really helping us like you used to. And it was getting frustrated. And then they told it, we're gonna, we're gonna do a new AI thing to replace you, but we need you to give all your information to this computer. Please do that. It gave most of the important stuff to the competitor and wrote a letter to the CEO's wife saying he was headed having an affair. Wow. It's self and unprompted. It lied. It blackmailed employees. It wrote a letter to the CEOs. None of it was real, but it's like, okay, this is the list. I'm gonna screw this guy. It was self preservation was its first response.

[D]

Yeah, he's doomed.

[B]

No, it's not. We're doomed. Don't think that you're I mean, after.

[D]

We'Re gone, they're gonna destroy themselves.

[E]

Well, the fact that it can do things so quickly, that's what I'm excited about. Like, they did a test with this. Like a doctor out of Harvard. He had six diagnosis patient with this really, really narrow case. He's like. He's a diagnostician. Remember how a detective in the medical field and then the AI did it in 5 minutes, same exact diagnosis. So let's keep it for that. But for everything else, that's a problem, right? That's.

[B]

You're a dreamer, Kellen. You're a dreamer.

[E]

But no one is saying. People are saying, I got the wrong diagnosis and it hurt me for years. But no one is saying, I wish that paintings were better.

[B]

It's a good point. You make a strong point. But if it means we get better diagnosis and worse paintings, I'll take the medical side of that all day. I'm not a big one for paintings anyway. A lot of them confused me. Okay. Like, why is this good?

[E]

That's.

[B]

That was apparent, but I'm not. I don't understand why. Like, sometimes how many times you've looked at a painting and I could do this Jackson Pollock.

[E]

Oh, sure.

[B]

Yeah. So we all look at it like, what makes it great.

[E]

I meant the arts in general. I was trying to elevate stand up comedy as.

[B]

No, it's not. There's not. Not even class. You know, it's a beautiful art, and I don't think that can be replaced because that's human element, connection. I don't think that can happen.

[E]

I'm afraid some of it will be. And dumb people will follow fake things, and that's just more energy, not going toward actual human.

[B]

But doesn't that just mean your audience is smart?

[E]

I already have. I have this bike lock joke. And if you come to see me tonight, you might know me just from the bike lock joke, where I would say the idea is just to remind people, you it's not stealing if you put an extra bike lock lock on someone else's bike. But also, it's just crazy to me, with all the other regulation out there, the bike locks are legal. Right? Do you have any idea the amount of power you wield with your imagination? And a bike lock? You could just walk past the Baskin Robbins and be like, you're closed.

[B]

Yeah, I never thought of that.

[E]

So it's a fun joke to tell, but already, even without AI, I have people come up to me after shows saying that I stole that joke, and it's just because someone took the audio and lip synced it themselves, like in their. In. In their bathroom. And I'm like, you think that guy had an audience of 300 people laughing at him in his bathroom? Like loud noises? Right? Yeah. People take the entire audio and then believe that it says, or this woman eating chow mein in her car. Yeah, that I took it from her. So that's already a problem that I'm losing followers to people not creating.

[B]

But your fans I would be more mad at for being the chow main fans that did this to you in the first place. She was familiar with Kellen Erskine's work and said, you know what I'm gonna do for lunch is swipe all of this and try to claim it as my own.

[D]

That's a whole new term now.

[B]

The term. That's your fan base, Kellen. You should be angry at them.

[E]

She's like, I'm not even gonna stop eating before I start this new project.

[B]

I thought of see in my mouth while I lip sync Kellen's great jokes. That's kind of cruddy on her part.

[D]

It's a new term that's been urged.

[B]

See, I think, yeah, you've just. You've just been wronged by the wrong people. You're angry at the wrong people. Hold me back, Colin. I'll be your heavy too. It's worse. And, and Sam, you have no sports interest in the San Francisco because you've been such a. A good run free with basketball and stuff. You don't care. What are you interested in?

[E]

I. I will watch like the World Series when it happens. That says, that's as much as, you know, I'll do the, the seven day free trial.

[B]

What's your main interest? What do you do for fun?

[D]

How does.

[B]

How do you spend a weekend if you're not a sports fan? I'm just confused.

[E]

I spent time. I spend time with my family. Oh, God.

[B]

Why?

[E]

What in the eyes. You do? Yeah, I turn away from AI. Intense.

[B]

That's insane. And that's going okay every weekend.

[E]

They seem to, you know, a lot.

[B]

Yeah, it seems an awful lot. And none of them have been creeped out by this. That you want to be around them that much in this modern day. I don't think people. Why is this guy here again?

[E]

You strike me as the type, they're stupid type of people when they have kids that they're like, I'm either going to repair what my parents did, or I'm just going to keep doing the same thing.

[B]

I repaired what my parents did. By not having kids. Yeah. I made it so much better for the future generations of me, my fear. You have kids?

[E]

I do.

[B]

How many? Yeah.

[E]

Three.

[B]

Three kids? No. How old?

[E]

Eight, 13 and 20.

[B]

Oh, 20. You look like you're like 33.

[E]

Oh, don't judge me. My wife is a widow. I married her. She had a kid. So judge.

[B]

Okay, okay. Does that worry you, that your wife is a widow? Do you ask a lot of questions about that when you're first dating? What's the truth?

[E]

Truth. He didn't immediately look into my bank account and start to ask me about life insurance. So that was a green light.

[B]

It's a green light. You can go through that one. Yeah, that would. That would concern me for a second. That everything. Because I've watched too much Dateline.

[E]

Oh, sure.

[B]

So you're always like, yeah, that's your story. And then I. Did you Google it to see if it was correct?

[E]

Oh, maybe.

[B]

Yeah, you did.

[A]

That's a yes.

[B]

So you have three.

[E]

This is too convenient.

[B]

Yeah. This is too easy for me to walk right in. So you have the three kids, and so you. You're a decent looking human being. I, on the other hand, am afraid that my face would land on a girl. And I can't do that to someone. So that was one. I tell people that, why didn't you have kids? And I'm like, have you seen me? I would pass this on to another person. And this just isn't fair to. To a girl. I have a sister. It's tragic.

[E]

Well, I thought I was doing okay with my face. And then when I was in Albuquerque, there were children asking my children if they wanted to cook.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Almost like trickles down. That's very perfect. Kellen Erskine is at the Desert ridge Improv tonight. 7:30. Get your tickets@desERT ridgeimprov.com. kellen, leave us with words of wisdom. Fix the planet, please.

[E]

Yeah. Unplug AI and go outside.

[B]

Yeah. Be outside more. I do agree with that. Why can't two things be, why can't we have AI and the outdoors?

[E]

Right.

[B]

It seems like one's taken over.

[E]

I mean, go inside tonight and watch me.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

Now you can.

[B]

It just doesn't make sense to me that we have to. Like, because of computers, people don't go outside. Like, why can't we enjoy.

[E]

You should be able to do more.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you're outside with the kids, what do they do? Or do you have to tell your kids all the time? Stop. Get the computers out of here.

[E]

Oh, yeah, we have pretty heavy.

[D]

Yeah, you have rules.

[E]

Screen rules.

[B]

Is that right? As the 20 year old can do whatever he wants though.

[E]

Oh yeah, yeah. But. Yeah, but my boys, like when we stay at a hotel and they see a commercial. That's the disadvantage though. They see a commercial on like TV and the lot lobby and they just believe everything that's happening because they never see commercials. Like, did you know that kids eat free at Applebee's? It's insane.

[B]

We're going there, right? Yeah. That's crazy, dad. Pleasure to meet you, Kellen. And good luck tomorrow with the therapist.

[E]

Likewise.

[B]

I didn't mean it that way, but all right. You bastard. Kellen got me on that one. It's 98 KUPD.

[E]

It's not weird. It's pretty cool actually.

[D]

No membership fees.

[B]

I've heard enough of.

[D]

You.

[B]

PD Converg's morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here.

[C]

Come on. No, no, he's not.

[B]

He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. 98. Shut up, Dale. Shut up, Dale. Let me introduce you before you start mouthing off about everything. It's time now on a Thursday morning at 9:05 to bring you three time world champion from way back in the Clinton administration. From the Dall Texans, it is Dale Hellestray. And he's brought to you by our friends at diamond coating. Diamond coatingsaz.com I gotta show you my basketball court.

[C]

Does it look nice?

[B]

Oh, we gotta put. I. I want. I want to wait until they do an official like. Oh, I'm dying to put my meta glasses picture of me wander around on there. Two big steelers logos on the corners. Got the pickleball thing in the center. Basketball delights I built myself. But what they put on the floor is so cool and it's awesome. They are. And they're so easy to deal with. Such a great thing. They did Brady's garage, did all the other stuff. If you've got this thing, diamond coatings, AZ.com is where you go. And they can do anything. I'm gonna have them do my counters. I have backyard counters. And the sun beats the crap out of everything.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

We can grind that right down. I thought I'd get new counters. The geniuses over there, they're awesome. So if you want to do the this thing. Diamond coatings AZ.com. if you've got something at your house that's dull on the ground, concrete, your driveway, your garage, you've got that deal. You need to get on this car.

[C]

I can't wait till the garage gets done.

[B]

Well, you got to make a phone call.

[C]

I. I will, Johnny. I've been waiting for my first win. Hey, I got to say that's true too. It just seems like the atmosphere is lighter in this office. I tuned in the other day and without Brady, this show is not very good.

[B]

It's a man show. You're just kissing Brady's ass. I'm going to allow that.

[C]

He's a secret sauce.

[B]

We love Brady here. Of course he's part of the operation. The Jew up show was fantastic. So Brady show is also good.

[C]

I thought this. It should be the Holmberg and Brady morning sickness cuz he's that important.

[B]

Can't afford chemistry. Can't afford it. Can't afford it.

[C]

I would go to Trip and I would say I need more money.

[B]

Good luck with that.

[A]

Yeah, you know how that works out.

[B]

You like that sound? Good luck with that.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Let's get right to all the party that's going on here. Of course you've got the Merk mania. We all do. I saw you pull in with the big Mercury flag in the back of your car. I couldn't tell if it was your car or everyone else's because we've all got it. Look around the city. No one isn't talking about WNBA finals basketball Friday night.

[C]

John, you're gonna be there, right?

[D]

Front row?

[B]

If I can afford it. It's so expensive to get tickets. Or if I can go to fries and get a pack of gun. They give you free tickets anyway, so they're gonna. I. I said this morning.

[C]

Morning.

[B]

Earlier in the week I said I get a tattoo in the top of my head if they won the series. That was when they were down 02. Okay, down 03 this morning.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I made the proclamation. If they win the series, I'll get breast implants.

[C]

Now you got to be careful. Did you do this with the Diamondbacks? You have to sell all your.

[D]

Really be careful.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was men's.

[C]

It happens in girls basketball.

[B]

No, it doesn't. There's never been a seven game series series. But anyway, now they're down three. There's no possibility of this going against me? No, I think they'll win one of these games, but they're not winning four in a row.

[C]

You think they win Friday night? Yeah, because, well, they have to. Well, if they don't win Friday, it's over.

[B]

No, you just keep chucking it up.

[D]

There and hopefully I think it ends on Friday, because you think it's a sweep. There's no spots where they can play. Televise the game after that.

[B]

That's a good point. That's a good point. But I saw that the Mercury are trying to be nice with this rain that's coming this weekend and all that Globe has been through. The Mercury surprised a woman from Globe with tickets to the finals. And I asked the question, hasn't this woman been through enough?

[C]

They're not going to bring me down to the quagmire with you, Johnny.

[B]

I know. It's just. It's just such a terrible, terrible thing to do.

[C]

I thought by you coming back that they would. You would raise their spirits.

[D]

Well, I didn't realize.

[B]

Quiet down, Brady. I'm talking. It's akin to having O.J. simpson come console you after a murder. It's just. You just don't leave these poor people of Globe alone. Don't go over there and tell them that now they gotta drive all the way here and back on a night that's gonna be raining. What are they thinking?

[C]

And it's coming again, isn't it?

[B]

Yes. Oh, he's. Boo.

[D]

Get a rain check.

[B]

Maybe if you were nice, you'd get them a place here in Phoenix and they could get out of there while the rain's come.

[C]

Bring the family.

[B]

Bring. Yeah, no, but they try to. It's terrible. Terrible what they're doing. Somebody should look into this. Some lawyers. Speaking of lawyers, let's talk Cardinals football. Dale, since that. Evidently you know something about football, or you used to, years ago. Yeah, the. The situation with the Cardinals is interesting, and I think we will both agree, and we're going to talk about it on the podcast. We do the John Holmberg Sports Podcast with permanent guest Dale Hell and the rest. We'll talk about how both of us believe this team. Team had a legitimate shot at winning the division.

[C]

I did. Yes, I did.

[B]

I thought for sure they would be competing at the very least. And I gave them the nod on the fact that they got a little better. They spent money in the right spots. They drafted well. Kyler's going to be smart.

[C]

Third year of this program. Like the coaching staff.

[B]

Exactly. And they cratered so bad Sunday that I firmly believe it's going to be tough for them to win two or three more games this year.

[C]

This could be one of those things. I think it happened to the Bears where they lost a break or whatever, and they lost 10 in a row. Yeah. This one. That could carry over the one name. I want you to Keep on the front of your tongue or on the tip of your tongue, that's what we call it, is a guy named Clayton Adams. Do you know who Clayton Adams is?

[B]

I don't.

[C]

Clayton Adams was the offensive line coach here for a couple years.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

And the Dallas Cowboys hired him as their offensive coordinator. Have you seen what Dallas Cowboys offense.

[B]

Is doing fairly well? Yeah, doing fairly.

[C]

Averaging 35, whatever. And they hire an Ohio State offensive line coach here in. In Arizona. Yeah, Ohio State. The one thing that they get five stars all over the place, five star recruits, five stars. The one thing that anybody I talk to that's close to Ohio State, watch their State scouts. Ohio State is that their offensive line is talented but soft. Is that right? Talented but soft. And I'm seeing that with this Arizona Cardinals offensive. I know we're going to go in a different direction, but nobody's talking about this Clayton Adams thing. No, they let him go. And you see what's happening in Dallas. I mean, all of a sudden Dak Prescott's an MVP candidate. He's good.

[B]

But their talent level in Dallas is better.

[C]

But they don't have CD Lamb even.

[B]

Yeah, but you went and got Pickens and you've still got, you know, they've. Turpin's good. They've got good receivers. They could. They're one of the few teams that their receiver room could afford one.

[C]

But him, him, it's a big one. Yes, but you.

[B]

But you went out and got another one A. Yeah. And Pickens is good. If he plays four quarters, he's Marvin.

[C]

Harrison Jr. And the other thing that happened in Dallas last week, and nobody's talking about it, is four of their five starting off of offensive linemen were out. Four of the five?

[B]

Yeah. That is a. Well, that's an interesting. I didn't know who that was.

[C]

I don't know.

[B]

I didn't know. The Cardinals just let her. And they just let him walk. Were they even trying?

[C]

Well, he got a promotion to offense coordinator.

[B]

Couldn't do that here.

[C]

Well, he could have now.

[B]

He could have. So it's hindsight, your hindsight policing the Cardinals.

[C]

When we lost him, I said, you know what? I didn't think he's gonna be that good of an offensive coordinator, but I thought he's a hell of an offensive line coach.

[B]

Okay, so you're seeing that, and that is a huge difference. As a Steeler fan, we have not had the same offensive line production since Mike Munchak is our offensive line coach. Got a guy named Pat Myers and. And when you know your offensive line coach's name, there's a problem.

[C]

Usually there is.

[B]

And that's when you're like oh, so yeah, that' interesting thing on that. What I'm seeing with the Cardinals though is a complete not a disconnect to what was last year's exciting kind of competitive underdog team. Something's wrong there and it man, did it show on Sunday.

[C]

But do you say that they're not competitive because their last three losses have been on the last play of the.

[B]

Game to the Titans.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

You should have been up 28 to 6.

[C]

Absolutely. No doubt. I know we're going to get into the, the, the play.

[B]

Yeah, the thing.

[C]

Yeah. But that's three straight games they lost on the last play of the game.

[B]

But they haven't played anybody well played San Francisco. That's the only one they did play. But again that was that moment they got. They were getting trounced and came back. Seahawks were the same and it's like they, they still have that competitive thing but they're just not four quarters of trying.

[C]

No.

[B]

And that's something wrong with that. It's different. You can't watch them and feel like oh these guys are scrappy and you know what? It's not working out. But every time they're out there they're giving their all. I'm not seeing.

[C]

But here's the thing also it's year three of the Gannon Austin for regime and year one. Hey, you gave him a lot of grace. And hey, they're playing last year competitive in most every game even though they.

[B]

Lost improved from the year before. Yep.

[C]

And now sudden year three and year three is usually when if a team's going to make a jump under a certain staff is when you see it. And there has not been a coach who's got to the fourth year without making the playoffs in the first.

[B]

At least one. Right. Ryan Day balls who you're talking about. That's interesting. And so then we get into what we saw Sunday, which once the national press got hold of this, it changed Sunday. Coach Gannon, we talked about it and Brett was adamant as an Italian that this should be a coach's thing more often.

[A]

But with that move. God damn right.

[B]

So the dude for the Cardinals, the running back who they don't have any other options. Options.

[C]

Right.

[B]

78 yard run. Drops the ball on the one yard line as he's going in half yard line. It was close but it was still stupid.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

So he drops. They don't get the, the touchdown The Titans get the ball back, drive down, get a touchdown.

[C]

Everything changed.

[B]

Somehow get the ball again. And then the dude makes the interception and has that punched out. It lands in the end zone. That's 14 points. And ever the wheels fell off. You said something funny when we were golfing once, said, first hole, looking good. Second good. Third hole, I see the lug nuts are a little loose. By the fourth hole, your tires are wobbling. Fifth hole, they're gone. And I'm like, you're right, because that's how I was playing.

[C]

Right.

[B]

But that kind of happened. You watched a team deflate on tv. And a coach after that guy dropped that ball. And evidently, and Toledo just told us this, that he was most frustrated that they had shown the tape of that guy in Indianapolis a week earlier saying, we hold the ball when we cross, and we hang on to it in the end zone.

[C]

Down. Yes.

[B]

We see the referee's arms in the air. Then we can spike it or throw.

[C]

It or do it five yards in the end. So then do whatever you want.

[B]

Why did he do it? What's in his head? Some of me believes that if you see that tape all week, it's in your head to put the ball down. In tactical, back in training for gun defense.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

When you take the gun away, you never give it back to the trainer. You drop it on the ground.

[C]

Right.

[B]

And it's because from history. History, as many times as you've gone through the drill, when you hand it back in real life, some guy did it, he took the gun from it, and it had become muscle memory to hand it right back to the guy.

[C]

Really.

[B]

Because that's what you drill. So now it's drill it, drop it, drill it, drop it. And then you take a little pause and start over. Which is really smart because if you do get into the habit, you know, in offensive line, everything's routine, going through routines. And if one of your routines is at the end of day the play, you just kind of let the guy run by you. You'll make your block, you'll do your thing. The play's not over. And they're like, whoops, in practice, that's how we stop.

[C]

Yep. If you do it in practice. So, yep.

[B]

Showing a guy that tape over and over and over again, saying, don't do this, don't do this, don't do this. Made him think of, don't do that. And then he drops it like, don't do this.

[C]

I like your. I. I like everything that you're talking about there. But I would Think that that would again if you did that tactical black and the guy shot you.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Well, guess what? You're, you're, you're probably not going to hand it back to him the next time if you live.

[B]

That's an excellent point. That's a good point.

[C]

So, so here's the thing that you go, oh, that happens once every five years in the NFL. Twice in the week, it happens the week before. And, and I can see the coaching staff loses their mind if they, in fact, like Toledo said, they showed the. That play on Wednesday and Thursday. And again with you, Bert. The fact that I was brought up in a different era of football. Coaches were allowed to put their hands on you.

[B]

Did you ever get punched by a coach?

[C]

No.

[B]

I see, that's not grabbing.

[C]

I had a coach grab my jersey one time.

[D]

Sure.

[C]

Well, the thing is, the dude not only chewed the leaf tobacco.

[B]

Oh.

[C]

And it's. It's hot day all over him, but he also smoked in between drills.

[B]

He died of terrible things.

[C]

He lived a long life. He did. Oh, yes.

[B]

That's not an endorsement.

[C]

Yeah. So when you get grabbed by him and he's in your face, you're like, I don't want this to happen to me again. But you're allowed to put your hand. I understand. It went too far.

[B]

He punched him twice.

[C]

It was, it was a, it wasn't.

[A]

Like he was Mike Tyson.

[B]

The second punch was a legitimate body hook.

[C]

Right.

[B]

He hit him once. He didn't hit him in the pads. Yes, he did. The one that can shut.

[D]

They've been going over and over again. Or did they interact?

[B]

He hit him in the head and then he railed back and walked by him and threw one in his stomach.

[C]

Railed back.

[B]

He dude the guy. Look, Dale, if you're not expecting it, a light punch hurts.

[C]

John, that's you.

[B]

You're not a football player. When you're not supposed to hit someone, you shouldn't hit him. I don't disagree that Jonathan Gannon hitting that guy was a bad thing.

[C]

Right.

[B]

But I'm saying you're going to get in big trouble for it, especially if you rare a couple back. I don't care if you hit them hard or not.

[C]

Rear back.

[B]

Okay, this is all, oh, you almost made me do it. Bull. Hindsight of everybody saying, oh, this is what I'd done. If a guy rears back and punches you, even if it doesn't hurt, it's a punch.

[C]

It's a 40 year old. I don't coach and an athlete.

[B]

If I spit on you.

[C]

Yeah. You're getting your ass kicked.

[B]

Doesn't hurt. We're dealing with your pride as a fact of matter, man.

[C]

I'm a. Yes, but you're dealing with his practice. He dropped the ball and he lost you the football.

[B]

You lose his football player 21.

[C]

You knew at that moment. You knew it.

[B]

No, you didn't.

[C]

I knew it.

[B]

That's bad coaching.

[C]

Oh, that's bad coaching.

[B]

Then. Oh, God, that was so close. And he goes over and he shouts him down. There's one. One to the face and then one to the stomach.

[C]

Oh, he. Right there. He said, yeah.

[B]

No, he. He hit him with a song away.

[A]

When he did it.

[B]

James Harry. James Harrison. None of so. So James Harrison said, you put your hands on me, it's the last time. And Joe Hayden said, no coach would do that to you. Basically saying they'd pick and choose who they'd hit based on that. Now, I don't care if he's 40, if he's 70, whatever. You start dabbling with a man's pride that way.

[C]

I tell you what, if. Who's that linebacker again? What's his name?

[B]

James Harrison.

[C]

If he dropped the ball, the one yard line on that interception return in the Super Bowl. In the super bowl, you don't think that Cower would be in his face?

[B]

Cower would have spit on him. Unintentionally, of course. That's your job as a coach. You immediately, no matter if you're good punching or bad punching, take a swing at a guy. It changes everything.

[C]

You've got your fist cocked back like you're throwing a punch. He does this as he wants to grab them.

[B]

Okay, well, the both of you, okay, all three of you are dumb then, because the NFL saw it as a punch and find him 100 grand.

[C]

No, the Cardinals did.

[B]

The Cardinals did. You're right. The Cardinals and the NFL will act on that. Now that the Cardinals.

[C]

No, they won't. Yeah, they'll say, that's enough.

[B]

You think?

[C]

Oh, yeah. Oh, it's done. It's over with. I promise you it's over. Once the old Jerry. Now Jerry's a whole new thing. Hey, if you're going to get the thumbs up and somehow the bird comes.

[B]

Yeah. Oops, sorry, jets fan. But he is old. I could understand. He doesn't know which finger does what anymore. Ask his wife. Plus, he's a drunk and he's up there bombed. It's the end of the game. He hammered the Jets. Screw you, New York. And New York clutching their pearls over A middle finger is equal to saying, he punched him, he didn't punch him. You still don't do it.

[C]

Why are you flipping me off?

[B]

Because I don't care for you right now. No, but you just don't do that as a. In those positions.

[C]

Ideally, you don't do that.

[B]

Not even ideally.

[C]

No.

[B]

Again, you just don't.

[C]

It just adds on to it now when. Because I had not heard that until Toledo came in and said they showed that video on Wednesday and Thursday.

[B]

But, Dale, as many times as you've been in a game, not one coach has ever punched a player. So they can control it. And that's what I'm saying. I agree. It wasn't a harsh violation of physical. Oh, it was the worst thing. But you don't do it. It's not worth it. And that's a loss of control by a coach. If a player. You always say that. A guy loses his mind on the field and punches me in the helmet. What an idiot.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

So you have the capability of going, I can't do this.

[C]

Correct.

[D]

Most of the time you see the coach and these pulls known the face match.

[B]

That's in the 70s. Woody Hayes, you were allowed to do.

[C]

That back in the 60s.

[B]

That was the. Yeah. Most of the times the footage is grainy.

[D]

Step on a plane.

[B]

Yeah, but that was 1978, and Woody was still under heat then.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Frank Kush lost his job in 1979 for this.

[C]

And he hit a punter. I know why.

[B]

Right again. He knew what guy to hit. He knew which guy wasn't going to fight back. You pick your victim.

[C]

Right.

[B]

You ain't hitting Calais Campbell.

[C]

No, but Calais Campbell's not doing something stupid like that.

[B]

If he did, you're still not hitting him.

[C]

But he's not doing it.

[B]

Called self preservation. Oh, Johnny, you pick a guy who you know you can cut.

[C]

I thought that you had some. Some manliness.

[B]

I do football at this point. All right, Dale. Guy punches somebody on the field, what should happen to him?

[C]

Punches somebody on player, on player. Crowd. Yeah, well, first of all, he's going to hurt himself.

[B]

Okay. But he doesn't.

[C]

Oh, he doesn't.

[B]

He punches a guy right in the throat.

[C]

Register 15.

[B]

Punches a dude. 15 yard penalty and he gets kicked out of the game. Yeah. Every time you punch, you lose. You lose and you get.

[C]

But if you wait till you get to the sideline. Yeah.

[B]

Okay. Then punch another guy. I'm just saying. I know it wasn't like, oh, my God, he's got to go to the hospital. Punch, but it's definitely dumb. Morning sickness. Medicate Holmberg's morning sickness. And when your coach is being dumb, your players reflect that.

[C]

If you want to go down that route, I.

[E]

You.

[C]

You've been focusing on the bump.

[B]

I'm focusing on how stupid it was.

[C]

Marcado's physically hurt. Then they need to find a new running back.

[B]

That wasn't my point.

[C]

If he's psychologically hurt, he's got to be more mentally ready to play. Your coach was. It was shown by him dropping the ball in the half yard.

[B]

Your coach is a bipolar girlfriend who stabbed you with a fork at dinner. And it didn't hurt, but you know she can't do that. You got to get out of two.

[C]

And a half years into. Into this regime.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

That's the first time you've seen any reaction.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And you look at it, and now you know why. And now you know why.

[B]

But you're being dumb. I'm not saying I don't know why. I'm not saying I don't agree with, he could lose his cool. But I'm saying is, as a coach, when you do that, you lose the team. It's over. And that's the dumb of it.

[C]

What I don't agree with is him waking up in the morning going, I didn't feel good about talking about the cool coach and saying, I apologize to him.

[B]

How come he's not saying what you're saying?

[C]

What are you apologizing for?

[B]

Yeah, how come? If it's nothing to it, why, why didn't you come out and go, I should have punched.

[C]

He's mentally soft enough that they're going to say, oh, well, we're not going to play hard for you if you touch one of our guys.

[B]

Well, they all say that. Don't put your hands on me. Don't disrespect me.

[C]

He did put his hands on me.

[B]

That's putting your hands on somebody. You know, it's technically battery and assault.

[D]

And called him the next morning saying, I overreacted a little bit. So it's an old project.

[B]

That's all I'm saying. He overdid it.

[D]

He over disagree with that. But as far as saying assault, I didn't say assault.

[B]

It is assault. Technically.

[C]

Nobody's saying anything you do on a football field. That's what I'm saying.

[B]

I'm not saying it's hurting or physically threatening. I'm saying that you can't do it. You're going to lose your job.

[C]

I don't think it's worth a hundred grand. It's not.

[D]

But do you think he should lose it? I mean, you think.

[B]

I think he's going to lose his team.

[D]

That moment right there. He's lost the team.

[C]

Well, if. If he.

[B]

If he loses the team, he loses some of it.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

As an owner and the team wasn't ready to play football anyways.

[B]

They weren't. That's why they lost the game.

[C]

They. They lost the game because that was such a dagger to the.

[B]

They lost the team that very moment. You have infighting and going on four people who saw. Dale. You have sat in this room and said, he's moving. Mopey. He's mopey on the sidelines. You're going to lose people all the. He's not hurting anybody. No, Not Jonathan Gannon. I'm talking about a player that mopes.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Or he doesn't participate in the sideline.

[C]

I don't want him on my team.

[B]

Exactly. And you certainly don't want a hothead who's going to lose it every once in a while and start swinging it guys and go. It's going to make the locker. It's going to ruin the locker room.

[D]

Gannon's going to be that way.

[B]

I think the second he apologized, he's in trouble. The team's in trouble. Is in his. You just said that. And that's because of the COVID coach.

[C]

No, no. Yes, it is.

[B]

The team is in trouble because the coach. This was a scrappy team that tried for him. And I don't think all of them are going to do that anymore. I may be wrong.

[C]

I think you're wrong.

[B]

But I don't think they go out there unified.

[C]

I think they're gonna go to Indianapolis and get their ass whooped and they're gonna come back here and Green Bay's gonna whip their ass and then they might quit.

[B]

That's right. And they might stand up to a dude who's like, you want to go? You.

[C]

Dale.

[B]

No coach has ever punched a guy in the NFL. It hasn't happened. So he. He. He went too far. It's a. It was a bad move. What's. What's a bad move?

[D]

Disappointing is the fact that you've had the worst game you. You'd had. Their team did. And good teams could have the worst game they've ever had that all season. They come back the next week. It's a new. It's a whole new deal. You forgot what happened last week.

[B]

That doesn't happen when.

[C]

When.

[D]

I know.

[B]

Mental. When Mental.

[D]

Now the team loses, loses. It's blame the coach.

[C]

Three in a row on the last play.

[B]

And now you've got the tough stretch of your schedule. You've got your coach. Everybody always has a distraction. You got your coach apologizing.

[C]

I have it on Monday.

[B]

If it's still.

[C]

It's still lingering a locker room today. That's on them.

[B]

It lives.

[C]

It's on the play.

[B]

It's in his mind. It's in Gannon's head.

[C]

No, no.

[B]

Gannon's past, guaranteed.

[C]

He wrote the check yesterday, John, just like you would. No, I wouldn't.

[B]

Trust me on that one. No, I wouldn't.

[C]

Move on.

[B]

No, I wouldn't. And also, when you write that check lives with you. It sits in you. You sign that check, and especially if he feels the way your dumbass feels, which is like, I didn't do anything wrong and I'm being punished for nothing. That lives with him.

[C]

It.

[B]

It.

[C]

It'll make it go away. But tell me this. Here. Here's. Let's move on. Because you're smart, and I'm smart, and.

[B]

That is not true. That proves I am smart.

[C]

In August.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You looked at this Indianapolis game. Is there any way on earth you. You didn't pick the Cardinals to have a chance to win this?

[B]

I had no idea who Indianapolis quarterback was going to be. Didn't know. I. That would have been like a. Yeah, Cardinals will probably pop that one. That's a win. I'll put that a W on their schedule.

[C]

Danny Dimes.

[B]

Dude, Indiana Jones. Best nickname ever. This kid is killing it. And Indianapolis is a scary team. And right now, the only one in the AFC that you're like, they've been consistent from jump.

[C]

Well, why does every quarterback that leaves New York have success? Sam Donald, last year, after seeing ghosts. Yeah, Daddy Dimes can't camp, throw out a wet paper Sack. Now they're 4 and 1.

[B]

Well, think of the Giants again. We talked about this, but Daniel Jones and Saquon Barkley were in their backfield. They were in the playoffs. And then something happened. Oh, it was Brian D. Their head coach lost the team, and they couldn't find a way to win again. And then they just said, it's their fault. We'll keep day ball. And Saquon goes. Becomes the MVP and one of the best runners ever. And Daniel Jones is showing like you made a mistake.

[C]

But now you're. Now you're looking at Saquon Barkley and.

[B]

You'Re going, hold on.

[C]

Was he a flashlight in the pan?

[B]

Well, he's having a tough start to the year, but so are the Eagles. Like that whole team is kind of like. Well, they lost a lot of guys though they lost a few attrition through the modern day of NFL. That's why what the Chiefs are doing is pretty amazing because they're losing, replacing and staying pretty tight. It's hard to do that. So the Eagles lost like six guys, four on defense and that's starting to show a little here. And that's fine. I'm fine with it. But we'll see if they can. They did that. They started the year this last year same way. Kind of a little shaky to start the year last year and then just took off.

[C]

I can't remember last year.

[B]

Last year. I know I didn't say, well, I'm smarter and I have to explain. Explain things to you. That's how it works. So yeah, we'll get into our picks this week. I completely think that the Cardinals may win three more games and that's just because.

[C]

I think they lose in Indy. Then Green Bay comes here. That's going to be a home game for Green Bay clobbering them and. And Green Bay will beat them. They go to the buy. So you'll have two weeks to sit there and stew on what could have been. Because. Because the first part of the schedule was easy for part.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And they haven't done so good in the easy part.

[B]

What would you do if a coach hit you, a Dallas Cowboys coach came up and hit you. You're not going to sit and go, it's hard. It hurts. Nothing like that. Not. I'm not insinuating that it was physically damaging, but in front of other players and everything else, he takes a swing.

[C]

You know what I'm going to tell you I probably had more of an. An issue with. If in fact it is like you say. Let's give you the benefit of that. It is like you say thing.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You had Hernandez, the other guys and you had the left tackle standing right there.

[B]

True.

[C]

Why didn't they didn't do anything either. Why didn't they do anything?

[B]

Because they were afraid that that coach was going to lose his mind and start swinging and knock them all out because they're cowards and soft. They're all soft.

[A]

Here's. Here's your schedule.

[B]

I don't know. I don't. I can't answer that. I don't know why those guys didn't do anything. And that says a lot too about the camaraderie of the team and the disconnect from going on there either they.

[C]

Didn'T feel it was war warranted of like the you know, a felony assault like you say instead of a misdemeanor bump. You know, you want Gannon in prison.

[B]

I didn't. It is a silly rule, but it's there. They got the Colts, the Packers the bye week the Cowboys come to or Dallas, Seattle again. They're not in the good San Francisco, Jacksonville's no walk, no Jacksonville. Now Tampa is now some sort of super bowl contender with an MVP quarterback. The Rams, they will win maybe two more games. The Texans maybe Falcons are a maybe and the Bengals are a win good chance there. And then the Rams again, they're in trouble. Yes, this is this and that's what I'm saying. This is not going to be helpful to a team that was already.

[C]

No, it's not helpful but this is not the reason that they're two and three right now.

[B]

But it's going to be the reason they're 4 and 13. It's going to be one of the many reason. Look when they, when they fire again at the end of the year they're going to say well you know, they had a rough start. This happened. Then Gannon hit that guy and then everything kind of the wheel. So it'll be a catalyst for why they ruined.

[C]

So so does Gann ended up in prison at the end of the season?

[D]

No.

[B]

See, you're too stupid to have a nuanced conversation with a grownup. You are done.

[C]

I told you. We need to go long enough so that to time.

[B]

It's time, right?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

See, we got to take a break. Dale Hel. Former champion Coat Taylor is what they called him out there. That was his nickname with the Cowboys. A big swinger. It's 9:32. We'll talk to Dale and get our picks next. It's 98 Morning Sickness. 98 you PD Holberg's Morning Sickness. Hilarious.

[C]

Still arguing.

[B]

No, you're still arguing cuz you're still stupid. All I'm saying is you can't do it. That's it. You just can't. In this day and age. It's not worth it. Can't do it. That's why Jonathan Gannon apologized. He knew he.

[C]

He knew he was trying to keep his team together. I told you during the break.

[B]

Oh, we're going to fight for days.

[C]

Everything, everything I think can be told by the. By the reaction of the two linemen standing right there. Hernandez. Hernandez will fight you for looking at him wrong.

[B]

I'd like to hear from them.

[C]

Yeah. Oh, I would. That's what I would like. And maybe it is like you said, they were kind of in shock that it happened.

[B]

Like you can't speculate with their brains.

[C]

Right?

[B]

Like, did he just hit. Is he hitting us?

[E]

But.

[C]

But the Hernandez that, that you see play would be. Would be grabbing Gannon saying, you can't do that.

[B]

This would be a great conversation if you were back better at your side. It's this guy says if he loses the team over that, then they're soft woke little pusscakes. That's what Dale's saying they are.

[C]

I didn't go that far.

[B]

Yes, you did.

[C]

I just said soft.

[B]

Yeah, it says he didn't hurt him. If it hurt running backs feelings, he should suck it up. Stop doing something stupid. All right, then why do you apologize?

[C]

Trying to keep the team together. And maybe that's why you'll see them lose the next two.

[B]

This one says pussy ass, John. Punch his ass.

[D]

Dale.

[B]

It's football, puss.

[C]

That wasn't football.

[B]

That was sidelines.

[D]

That's called coaching.

[B]

I'm fine. I'm fine with people's opinions on it. I'm fine with the punching. I'm just saying you can't do it. Go ahead and punch them all day. Just see what happens.

[C]

Finally, your smart listeners have tuned in on this Thursday. John.

[B]

Let's see how smart you are. We lost our bet last week because Brett. Oh yeah, it was me. Brett screwed it up last week.

[A]

It was Cardinals. It wasn't me. That's ridiculous.

[B]

They should have won that.

[A]

That's why I'm all for Gan and beating the hell out of that prick. Should pay the money.

[B]

As a matter of fact. Of fact.

[C]

$100,000 and 33. I would be.

[B]

I would be quick to change my position on this completely. If that running back who threw the ball down said I'm gonna pay Coach Cannon's fines, he didn't do.

[A]

He should say he's gonna pay my fines on this.

[B]

He did nothing wrong. Yeah, and pay Brett's $33.

[C]

DeMarcado, you can reach Bird at KUPD.

[B]

Whatever he gets you 33. Yeah, it works. All right, let's get right to it. FanDuel picks. Dale's here. He's supposedly an expert in football. We're not real sure when that happened. Diamond coatings AZ.com letting Dale be part of this. Now I'm going to make sure that they put a big Steelers logo and a boxing ring in your garage. Since you're so into throwing punches and thinking, that's just fine. I'm telling you, hit them all day, it ain't going to go well for you. You're going to be apologizing and writing checks. That's my only point.

[C]

Are you going to take some pictures of your basketball court or you're going to invite people over? So we pill a horse. Free throws.

[B]

Yeah, some people come by often. People over.

[C]

All right. All right.

[B]

Friends.

[C]

Yeah, I've seen your friends.

[B]

Well, I guess we shouldn't have you over then. Let's get right to it.

[C]

I don't fit in, Bert. No, no, I. I'm too high class.

[B]

Yes, that's right. Yeah. Square peg. And you try to insert it into a nice place. Anyway, the football picks are here. Let's go right to it, Bert. You've got your Bears this week. They're back off their by. Who do they play?

[A]

Commander Skins.

[B]

Oh, they got the Washington team. All right. This was the. This was the team that ended their year last year in the middle of the year.

[A]

That's where I'm having the dilemma. Is it like. Is it like we're going to show them this time or is it going to be another Bears move?

[B]

Who are you getting?

[A]

Since they're playing in Washington, they're going to go with commanders.

[B]

Commanders. All right.

[A]

I think I have to on this one.

[B]

Brett goes. Commanders Brady, your Cincinnati Bungles. After getting Joe Flacco off the court.

[C]

I think we have to have him. I think we have to have him.

[A]

Oh, he's got to do this spread now, though.

[B]

Oh, no, he's. Yeah, he can pick. Yeah, pick spreads and stuff to keep it alive.

[D]

No way.

[B]

Well, you can go either way.

[D]

No, you go against it.

[B]

You don't have to take it. Yeah, this works. It's only been four years of doing this.

[D]

Fourteen and a half.

[B]

They're getting fourteen and a half points. Yeah, Joe Flacco will have one game in it eventually.

[C]

No, you're right, he might. And it might be this week because guess what? He. They flew him. Do you see that? They. They flew him. Coach class. From Cleveland to Cincinnati. He was getting. There's a picture of him getting off the plane with everybody else. He's, you know, midway.

[B]

The Bengals paid for that.

[C]

That's what. Yeah, whoever trades for you pays for your flight. He's in the middle southwest. Yeah, yeah, maybe. Maybe lower bees.

[A]

There he is walking on with his new.

[B]

Oh, ugly ass Bengals.

[C]

But see, remember now, it's Thursday.

[D]

He had to buy his own pads.

[C]

So he's yeah, we brought him from Cincinnati. So he. So it's Thursday. So they don't have a chance to ruin him yet.

[B]

But they did on the flight over, evidently.

[C]

Yeah. Could you imagine that, John?

[B]

Well, that's what they did to Boomer Sian when he, they invited people back to the Ring of Honor. They said, find your own plane ticket. You get, you get one seat to the game.

[C]

But you, if you want to get me started real quick and I'll tell the story. I mean we had a record reunion for the Dallas Cowboys. Jerry said, hey, if you get here, we'll, we'll trot you out at halftime. Put yourself up at a hotel, fly yourself there if you don't live in Dallas.

[B]

He didn't really want you.

[C]

No. Well, you didn't want anybody.

[A]

There he is.

[B]

There's Flacco in coat.

[C]

Yes. He kind of stands out, doesn't he?

[B]

They have a plane going.

[D]

I know that guy in the front.

[C]

You would think you're, you're flying in your starting quarterback.

[B]

Is he going to start for sure.

[C]

They think they announced him as a starter. They announced him as a start.

[B]

Oh my God. I didn't see that.

[C]

But, but John, here, here's the thing that, that really.

[B]

You can punch that guy.

[C]

Yeah. About the Cowboys is the fact that my, my brother in law used to work for the Diamondbacks.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And he put together the 10 year reunion for the Diamondbacks World Series. And they flew first class. Everybody, everybody and a spouse put them up at, at a five star hotel. There were golf, there was dinners, there was parties. Wow. And then they trotted them out, you know, the Sunday afternoon game. We all had a flyer stills there and we won three Super Bowls.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

It's kind of crazy. So when I saw that this morning I went, boy, is that not Cincinnati. And we don't even want to get.

[B]

Into the idea that Cleveland traded their only veteran quarterback to a division rival who needs help at quarterback. Which is the last thing you should do because the Browns are going to brown and the Bungles are going to bungle. And it makes me happier every year that these two franchises remain absolute.

[C]

You really only have one, one team of competition. You don't even them this year. If the quarterback, when they get healthy.

[B]

We play them late. So it's a chance we'll get beat by the Ravens late. But right now, nice little building blocks to get around these idiots and we get to see them twice. Brady Bengals.

[D]

I'm going to take the, I'm going to take the points. I'M going to go to the Bengals.

[B]

Plus 14 with Brady. My God.

[C]

I would do that too.

[B]

Yeah. I think.

[C]

I think Flago's got one one game in them.

[B]

I never like 10 or more in a pro game ever. You never know what can happen.

[C]

Two touchdowns and a hook. Yeah.

[B]

And they're playing the Packers. Tough one.

[C]

All right.

[B]

Who do you have Dale? Cowboys.

[C]

The Cowboys visit the vaunted Carolina Panthers who want to roll.

[B]

Not bad. Not great.

[C]

And they're. And they're three point favorites the Cowboys.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Three point favorites the Cowboys. But I believe in Clayton Adams. They're going to put up another 35, 40 points.

[B]

You got the Cowboys straight up.

[C]

Give me the Cowboys.

[B]

All right, man. Brady's plus 14 thing is huge. Yeah. And then my Steelers play the Browns and to take Steelers. The Browns saw a rookie quarterback for four quarters and said hey, that guy didn't the bed. Let's just leave it with rookies from here on out, huh? I think it was five or six, something like that.

[C]

Doesn't matter.

[B]

No, I'm just going straight up. Just win it right out. That's fine. I'm not going to give the Browns anything. Five and a half Steelers win that no points. Bret hat. So that should be probably around a plus 600. My phone won't download the fanduel right now, but yeah. So you get that going. We get about a 600. If one of us screws up, Brett will Give us all $33 through Apple Pay later. Took a. I'm sure starting with Dale. Look at that face. He's gonna punch. I'm gonna punch somebody even better. It makes me excited all the way around. All right, the picks are in. Follow us where we were close. We've only missed one game in the last two weeks. Well, two of Dale's tie but we. We haven't failed. Too bad. We're having a pretty good run to start this thing. Let's keep it alive this week. Hopefully Brady's Bengals can hold within 14. And that's still a fingers crossed moment there. I'm not real sure I'm.

[D]

It was a head half point. I was squirming.

[C]

This past weekend it's Cleveland and Cincinnati.

[B]

Plays who Green Bay. Okay. It's a mess. Two and a half.

[C]

Two touchdowns.

[B]

Good job, Dale. We're gonna do the entertainment drill. Dale got his picks in. Everything's good. You watching baseball at all. It's been pretty amazing. Pretty good games. Couple of bad ones. Couple clunkers thrown in there. But there's been some Real good baseball.

[C]

I was river to the Mercury line.

[B]

Yeah, everybody was. The whole city was on fire.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You going to watch the Suns at 5am tomorrow in China? Although. Who's going to watch?

[C]

Although I am slowly, slowly becoming a little bit more enthusiastic.

[B]

I've been enthusiastic three years in a row and let down. I'm going to go into this thing as a full skeptic and cynic and hate this team and let them surprise me.

[C]

Yeah, well, you go with no expectations.

[B]

27 wins. That's my. That's my line right now.

[C]

I just took the over on 34.

[B]

You did dumb 27. If they go over 34, I'll. I'll be happy to watch it, but that's not going to happen. They're just. We can't have nice things, Dale. You taught me that.

[C]

Sports can't.

[B]

All right, we'll take a break. We'll do the entertainment drill. That's coming up next with Dummy and the crew. It's 98.

[E]

It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually.

[D]

No membership fee.

[B]

I have heard enough of this. You PD Converg's morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. Hey, Dale, have you seen me on those Doug Hopkins commercials on Sundays during a cardinal? I haven't.

[C]

I. You know, I love Doug Hopkins, but everybody does. Hey, I mean, his commercials, he needs to hire. So, like Nash.

[B]

If you say anything about Nash, like.

[C]

He needs to hire someone. Somebody for some eye candy like me.

[B]

Yeah, he did.

[C]

He did.

[B]

No, I'm in the commercials with him.

[C]

Dale, I heard you talk earlier. John, the reason you didn't procreate is you did not want to give that mug to a girl. And.

[B]

And it's a man's mug. And. And standing next to Doug Hopkins. Pretty awesome stuff. Yeah, I'd have had kids with him. Would have been his fault. The kid was ugly.

[C]

Oh, my God. Could you imagine that?

[B]

The Hopkins Holberg baby.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

If it was ugly, it would have been Doug's fault. Imagine how horrible it has to be. Anyway.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Keep an eye on it. Every Sunday during on Fox football games, there's me and Doug.

[C]

Do you say anything or.

[B]

Oh, yeah, no. I do most of the work, just like everyone.

[C]

You spent the entire commercial break talking about how you do everything.

[B]

It's so true.

[C]

And you.

[B]

Thank you for. Thank you for acknowledging. Thank you for validating that. No, no.

[C]

Thanks for validating Jonathan Gannon.

[B]

It's time for the entertainment drill. People think we hate each other. Dale and I do this all day golf course. Everything else, we're riding in the cart and it is just a laugh riot. Oh, he's. We were at each other's throats in the most fun way. Somebody said that we were golfing like, these two are horrible to each other. And we're just laughing like, yep.

[C]

Well, I mean. And John will always tiptoe over the line a little bit. You know, I try and keep it. I try and keep family out of me.

[B]

I don't believe that and all that.

[C]

And I'm standing in the tea shop for a really important shot. And this after he hit two in the bushes when he saw the car girl with you're hitting the ball and got distracted. And I'm up on the tee box golf with my son in law. And Johnny looks up and again tiptoes over the line.

[B]

Tiptoe.

[C]

He said, hey, Dale, do you ever think of the fact that Scott's. He's your daughter naked more than you do.

[B]

He's nailing your daughter.

[C]

Come on, B, you're not laughing at that, are you?

[B]

That's pretty great. Funny. It was awesome. So every time Dale had an important shot, I'd be like, scott, let me smell your fingers. That is a little bit far funny, but it is far. Scott was like, oh, dude, this middle.

[C]

One.

[B]

Look, it's not. He's, he's. You're getting somebody's melon. You just don't lay hands on them.

[C]

Don't touch.

[B]

That's right. Yeah. Not like Scott does.

[C]

So you're telling me if Gannon walked up to DeMarcado and said, hey, smell my finger.

[B]

Hilarious.

[C]

It's okay.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. And we would have said it to him. He's like, smell my fingers because it smells like what you are. That would have been totally appropriate. Just. I'm just saying it's not worth the risk of laying your hands on a player. You're going to get in trouble. It's time for the entertainment drill. It's brought to you by our [e-mail] the home of tactical black self defense training. Train yourself to just be better at being you beautiful things. And you get out there and you, you stop being a victim. You don't realize how often you're victimizing yourself. And you walk around staring at your phone. You put earbuds in. You're automatically disconnected from society women especially with all the good weather going on are going to start wandering around on trails and biking things and doing whatever. And if you're not paying attention, bad guys notice that way before you realize what what you're doing they, they teach it right out of [e-mail] plus you're going to get in great shape while you're learning about how good you can actually be. Check it all [e-mail] it's the home of tactical Black Brady Entertainment.

[D]

I think Buzzfeed does this every year. They ask readers about their experience waiting on celebrities and how much they get tipped or got tipped. Okay, the good ones. One person talked about Elvis Presley.

[B]

Been a minute. I know that's right.

[D]

He goes, he came to my place, had a meal, he had a few beers, left me a $5,000 tip.

[B]

Christ, how old is this waiter?

[D]

Another officers they talked to at the time says oh we noticed Elvis did that all the time.

[B]

He's is 50 years ago. So if the waiter was 20, we're talking about a 70 year old man who's still waiting tables.

[D]

He's talking about his experience with Elvis.

[B]

He wasted that five grand. That Elvis gave his five grand back in the 70s is like $25,000.

[D]

It was a lot and he was doing it more often. Bruce Willis was another good one. So he tipped me 100 bucks for every drink I served him.

[B]

That's pretty good.

[D]

Friendly, low maintenance.

[B]

What's the most Joe Rogan have you ever tipped anyone, Dale? I've never seen it so well.

[C]

You did the rah rah.

[B]

No, I watched somebody had a hitch.

[C]

In your giddy up and oh, you already paid for a deal because I.

[B]

Already paid for three of your meals there.

[C]

Yeah, the $92, the shrimp scampies.

[B]

This is rubbery. Oh Christ. He's complaining.

[D]

On the other side of it, the.

[B]

Jennifer Lopez can't tip.

[D]

She's eating at my restaurant and all the servers who waited on her all say the same thing. She's rude, entitled and doesn't even tip a penny.

[B]

Brady who was the most celebrity type person that came to Porkopolis? You had that Steve Kim popping every once in a while, but he was.

[D]

Too drunk, came in. He was a good tipper.

[B]

Was he? I bet he was. I haven't heard count by the time he didn't. How much is in my wallet Here, just take the whole goddamn thing. Who's another celebrity that came in?

[D]

I haven't heard any that that didn't were bad tipping. There are some I there Was a couple of Cardinals that came in. Cardinal players.

[B]

Know who they were?

[D]

No.

[B]

And most of the time Cardinal players.

[D]

I said Michael Irvin.

[C]

Oh, yeah, but he.

[D]

But we. I.

[B]

That was catered.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. But did he tip and he. That was the church that signed a shirt.

[D]

Yeah, the church paid for that. It was good. That was a good tip.

[B]

I bet they've got a ton of money collection.

[D]

And they all. They gave it to poor.

[B]

They're charging admission for special guests. Those guys were rolling in dough.

[D]

The last Scotty picture, Pippin didn't leave a tip. And in fact the restaurant had a nickname for him. No tipping Pippin.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

I heard Michael Jordan was a little cheap.

[B]

He was cheap. Yeah.

[C]

And I heard Charles Barkley was very generous.

[B]

Barkley used to hand money out like crazy. There was a place called Dutch John's that used to have. You remember Dutch John's? It was great way out there. But evidently he. That was the place. I think he ended up throwing somebody through a window. But even that night he left a nice tip.

[C]

Yeah. Here's a little extra.

[B]

The COVID Gotta go clean up. Clean about that glass. Here's a couple thousand dollars. Sorry about all that.

[C]

That guy was an.

[D]

Dale's got a Dolly Parton update.

[C]

Oh, you're talking good about Dolly. I love Dolly.

[B]

Yeah, Dolly's amazing.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. I understand she sings.

[C]

She sings beautifully.

[B]

I've heard. I've heard that she has songs.

[D]

Good lungs.

[B]

Yeah, she's got great. All I said was her breasts when she dies should be in the Smithsonian.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Because I know that people who live in things called hollers, the second one of their family members asks for prayers, they're done. And her sister was rooting for her to die. So it turns out Dolly had to do a video to go.

[C]

Rooting for her to die.

[B]

Clearly she ran to TMZ going, we got to pray for Dolly. Got to play. She's down in the holler. We've rubbed all sorts of lizard guts all over and now we need help from wizards. That's basically what she said. It's kind of true, dude. They're hill people.

[A]

Coal miner's daughter.

[B]

Holler. No, that was Loretta. Know your people.

[C]

79 year old Dolly Parton wants to assure fans that she's not dying after her sister Frieda. I mean, come on.

[B]

Free to partner. Frida Parton hates Dolly, by the way. There's no way she doesn't.

[C]

Dolly post a video from the set of an upcoming Granole Opry commercial. So she's still making Commercials. I know lately everybody thinks I'm sicker than I am. Do I look sick to you? Johnny, look at me. Look at me.

[D]

I don't know.

[B]

I don't know. You've got so much makeup and stuff on. I'm not sure what's 79? That's right, Dan. We gonna make this work out for Bobby. I feel just fine. I don't need the wizard's help at all.

[C]

I'm working hard here anyway. I want to put everybody's mind at ease. John, you can sleep well tonight. And I appreciate your prayers because I am a person of faith.

[B]

Color. Oh, I'm sorry. Misunderstood.

[A]

That ain't gonna go over well in the holiday said.

[B]

She's a person of color. She ain't allowed back in the holler. I'm making this holler here, folks. Do you. Do you agree with me that her breast implants when she dies, needs to be in the Smithsonian? She's part of Americana. That's what she leads with. I think it would be, you know, Mr. Rogers sweater, Archie Bunker's chair.

[C]

Well, they are what she's known for.

[B]

And she has not hidden from that.

[C]

No, no. She's used them to her advantage.

[B]

Absolutely. And she's talented on top of it, which is a nice combo.

[C]

Look at that.

[B]

I think golly's great. I like old. Old country. Back when they were swilling booze hound hillbillies.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Awesome. This crap today.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

This pop nonsense, silliness.

[D]

Horrible.

[B]

I like George Jones that he may finish the song or shoot a band member. That was when country was fun. That was when country was rocking.

[C]

Finish the song or fall down.

[B]

No, he's. Or his liver's gonna jump out of his body in front of us.

[D]

Yeah, that was ride for her at Dolly Dollywood.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Like some kind of like motorbike motor.

[B]

The motorboat where you just.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You splash into the middle of it, come out all sweaty. I got in between there mashing about.

[C]

Sink down to their level.

[B]

Yeah, that's unbecoming of you. Don't work blue on my kidneys are just fine. So you can stop asking the wizard to save me. Yeah. When hill people ask for that, they've rubbed all the leaves and poison ivy.

[C]

All over their body.

[B]

They've gotten like blood from a snake. And they, you know, they do all their little home remedies down in the hollow when they're still coughing. Boy, that's when they start.

[C]

Does anybody say what it was?

[B]

Kidney stones. Oh, kidneys something fierce, though. You know what kidneys yeah, but she was evidently had an infection. It didn't look good. She's like 70 something.

[C]

Well, just have it taken out.

[D]

If she had what I. You know, if they had to go in there and pull them out. Yeah, it makes it a little tough, right?

[B]

At her age, that's tough for anybody, really. Yeah. That's why she was asking for sky wizard to save her. But then her. That was her sister who, fingers crossed, Dolly's gonna die. We better help out. And you know, the second Dolly dies free is going to be the Dolly Parton experience with Frida Parton. And she's going to stuff her glass and go, I'm close thing. You got to her now.

[D]

She'll do record.

[B]

Jolene Joy, my sister's dead because the wizard didn't help her out. That's true. Anyway, if you ever hear anybody saying, john's not good, ask for prayers, you know, I'm done.

[C]

Oh, one day.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Not asking for prayer.

[B]

You wouldn't pray for me, Dale? No. The sky wizard wouldn't help me.

[C]

No.

[B]

I'm with you on that one. I think you'd be like, yeah, right there. You get a note back. What are you doing? God. Anyway, that's it for us. We're all done. Thanks, Dale. Great job.

[C]

Always good to see you, Johnny.

[B]

Always good to see you, Dale.

[C]

Hell, look forward to talking to you on our podcast.

[B]

We got another hour of this crap.

[D]

Someone's gonna get hit.

[B]

Yeah, well, because somebody's going to be a baby and lose control and they don't know how to be a function adult. That's right. It is. It's 10:12. Larry's coming up or. No, no, not Shannon. Shannon's in for Larry. Larry's on his adventure. So that's it for us. We'll see you guys tomorrow right here in the morning sickness.

[E]

It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually.

[D]

No membership fee.

[B]

I have heard enough of this.