10-13-25 - BR - MON - It's Natl No Bra Day And Indigenous Peoples Day - Study Finds Color Of Car Birds Poop On Most - Wife Pours Hot Oil And Chili Powder On Husband's Face - Oregon Man's Stolen Car Worth A Baja Blast

Summary

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Holmberg's Morning Sickness – October 13, 2025

Overview

This episode of "Holmberg’s Morning Sickness" on 98KUPD is a lively, irreverent, and conversational take on topical oddities, holidays, and strange news stories. Holmberg and the crew (Brady, Bret, Toledo) riff on National No Bra Day and Indigenous Peoples Day, banter about Columbus Day history, dissect bizarre news headlines, and share their trademark crude humor and social commentary. The show includes the “Brady Report” with fun facts, car talk (with a bird poop twist), outrageous crime stories, and their signature “radio videos” segment featuring wild internet clips.

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Main Themes & Purpose

• Celebrating/Mocking Today's Holidays: The crew riff on National No Bra Day and the awkward transition from Columbus Day to Indigenous Peoples Day.
• Topical News Commentary: From birds pooping on cars, to marital hot oil assaults, to a stolen car worth "a Baja Blast."
• Crude Humor & Observational Cynicism: The show’s tone is comedic and irreverent, regularly lampooning absurdities in news and modern life.
• Engagement with Listeners: Running $1,000 app cash giveaway, banter with listener emails, and engaging the audience with off-color jokes.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

National No Bra Day & Indigenous Peoples Day (02:53–06:26)

• Holmberg and crew open by noting the day’s double holidays—“Happy National No Bra Day” and “Happy Indigenous Peoples Day.”
  • Memorable Quote:
    “Happy former Columbus Day. No to the people who raped and pillaged indigenous peoples. And then it's their day too. How insulting is it to switch Columbus Day to the people he raped today? This has been a screwed up mess from the beginning.”
    — Holmberg (04:00)
• Discussion on the incongruity and awkwardness of replacing Columbus Day—complete with jokes and lighthearted jabs about Columbus’s legacy.
• Quick debate on whether Columbus really “discovered” America.
  • “Columbus never did anything. When he went back to Spain, they’re like, you’re an idiot. Oh, Italy didn’t want anything to do with him.”
    — Holmberg (06:05)

Brady Report: Fun Facts and Bizarre News (06:43–17:40)

Fun Facts (Linus from Peanuts, Eye Colors) (06:43–08:00)

• Linus, from Peanuts, was named after Charles Schultz’s real-life friend.
  • “They remained close friends until Charles’ death in 2000. That usually kills a friendship.”
    — Brady and Holmberg bantering (06:54–07:02)
• Eye color trivia: Most people have brown eyes, with only 2% having green; sets up a classic crude joke about “brown eyes.”

Bizarre Restaurant Encounter (08:00–10:47)

• Holmberg describes, in vivid and somewhat jarring detail, witnessing a woman with no lower half eating voraciously at Bob Evans.
  • Memorable moment: The crew become obsessed with the logistics and anatomical oddities of her condition, veering into typical HMS shock-jock humor.

Birds Pooping on Cars – Is There a Pattern? (10:47–12:45)

• Brady shares a study:
  • Brown cars get pooped on most, followed by red and black; silver and white, the least.
  • “Researchers say the birds detect ultraviolet and...darker colors might stand out more, seem like prime targets.”
    — Brady (11:09)
  • Holmberg remains skeptical: “If you park under a tree, it gets crapped on. If you don't, it doesn't.” (12:07)

Hot Oil and Chili Powder Assault (12:45–15:36)

• Indian man allegedly attacked by wife with hot oil and chili powder for suspected cheating.
  • The team makes light of the situation, noting double standards about victim-blaming depending on gender.
  • “Isn't it funny? We can victim shame that guy and assume he did something wrong, but if it was a woman...you could lose your job.”
    — Holmberg (13:49)
  • “She thought it was cheating...He wasn't able to answer.” — Brady (14:11)

Oregon Man’s Stolen Car Worth a Baja Blast (15:36–17:10)

• Man's dilapidated 1996 Toyota Camry stolen and ultimately valued by insurance as worth a "Baja Blast" soda.
  • “It even had a bumper sticker that said, ‘the book value of my car is one Baja Blast.’” — Brady (15:53)
  • The owner asked for the thief’s charges to be dropped in exchange for a Mountain Dew Baja Blast.

Marinating Meat Reduces Cancer Risk (17:24–18:06)

• Marinating meat before grilling can lower cancer risk by 90%.
  • “Starting your meat for at least 40 minutes...in herbs, spices, and some sort of acid. Vinegar, wine, lemon juice...”
    — Brady (17:54–18:06)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Columbus Day Swap:
  “Congratulations. Thanks, people, for surviving. I don’t know what you’ve done. Never won a war anyway.”
  — Holmberg (06:35)
• On Restaurant Oddities:
  “No bags. She’s in a dress...She was on like a wheeled office chair...Not even...a Keep it Alive monitor.”
  — Holmberg (08:49)
• On Bird Poop Study:
  “That study brought to you by down syndrome because the only person that would listen to it has down syndrome.”
  — Holmberg (12:29)
• On Marinating for Health:
  “Well, lower your risks 90%” — Brady (17:54)

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Radio Videos Segment (19:51–30:41)

Shocking Internet Clips and Their Commentary

• Carpool Karaoke Gone Wrong:
  • “It is a major league deformed human being. This is the dude who got oil poured on his faces. Ride to the hospital.”
    — Holmberg (20:10)
• Good Samaritan, House Fires, and Jesus Jokes (22:04–23:36)
  • Crew mocks the logic of fire destroying houses as “proof” of Jesus:
  • "If that was...What proves there’s a Jesus is if, like, Jesus goes, oh, everybody up...Otherwise, Jesus is just a prankster." — Holmberg (22:04–22:07)
• Gross Eating Videos Abroad (23:05–24:08)
  • Reaction to clips of people eating grubs, with trademark disgust and ridicule.
• Industrial Accidents and Street Carnage (26:55–28:56)
  • Comments on workplace safety and reckless street behavior, including "hot rods" taking out pedestrians and wild boxing stunts.
• Weird Performance Art & Body Smoking (29:38–30:41)
  • Clips of nude improv troupes and people smoking cigarettes with unusual body parts.

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Listener/Show Interaction (Miscellaneous throughout)

• Comments on technical broadcast issues and being “forced” into new money giveaway contest mechanics via the app.
  • “We're buying your love, and that's a great thing. Take it in the app.”
    — Holmberg (34:41)
• Frequent reminders to listeners about contest codes.

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Closing Riffs & Further Banter (30:41–35:08)

• Revisiting the “Jesus proved by fire” story, irony of arson being “God’s plan,” and lampooning local events (Chandler, Palisades).
• Final Contest Note:
  • “So the word for nine o’ clock in the app contest is cash...at 9 o’clock, put cash in the 9 o’clock slot on your app and qualify to win that thousand dollars.”
    — Holmberg (35:08)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 02:53 The Brady Report kicks off with National No Bra and Indigenous Peoples Day banter
• 04:00 Columbus Day/Indigenous Peoples Day legacy and reality check
• 06:43 Brady’s Fun Facts and Peanuts trivia
• 08:00 Odd encounter at Bob Evans
• 10:47 Bird poop car color study
• 12:45 Wife assaults husband with hot oil and chili powder
• 15:36 Oregon man’s Camry worth a Baja Blast
• 17:24 Marinating meat and cancer risk
• 19:51 Radio videos: wild and weird internet clips
• 22:04 House fire, family photo, and Jesus jokes
• 23:05 Gross eating videos (grubs)
• 26:55 Factory accidents and street dash cam mishaps
• 29:38 Bizarre performance art: naked improv, and body smoking
• 35:08 Next contest code and sign off

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Tone, Style & Takeaways

The episode is a rapid-fire, raw blend of sarcasm, blunt observation, and shock humor, poking fun at the news, society, and themselves. The crew are equal parts cynical and playful, mixing genuine curiosity with relentless needling—often using dark or taboo humor. The team’s chemistry is evident; the show feels unscripted and unfiltered, just as the fans expect.

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For New Listeners:
This summary captures the show’s essence—if you’re comfortable with mature humor, edgy riffs on topical news, and don’t mind the occasional R-rated detour, "Holmberg’s Morning Sickness" delivers sharp laughs and a unique take on Arizona and the world.

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Transcript

[A]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP guns.com your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[B]

All right, there you go, Ramstein. All right, it's 8 o'. Clock. That means it's time for another opportunity for you to take our money. You can take it in the app. You must go to the 98KUPD app. Or.

[A]

Don'T email me.

[B]

Should I say, yeah, don't email Brett and don't use the text. You can also web stream so you can have it on your computer app.

[A]

Toledo gave full instructions on her Facebook. So if you're confused, just go there.

[B]

98Kupd.Com or you can go to the Facebook page. But do it in the app. Do it in the app. I say Today the. The 8am Word is rock. Go to your app, put in rock. Why? Why, John? Why would I do such a thing? Well, if you do this all, all the time, you're going to qualify for a chance to win a thousand dollars. Every week, we're just gonna give somebody a thousand bucks just for playing along. So every hour we'll tell you a word. Top of the hour, we do it. We do another one at nine. Fit starts over at two. He does one every hour on the hour. You got 40 minutes to type the word rock in, and then we'll try again at 9. And then at the end of the day, we draw somebody from everybody who participated. Is that how it works? And then you. Every hour, do we draw somebody? I guess we would. We draw eight a day and you get into that whole thing. Or nine a day. Sorry, not today day. Today. Nine starting tomorrow. Perfect. 44 winners this week, which is exactly as we planned. You hop on board that thing, make maybe get yourself a grand in your pocket. We've got money for you and we want you to take it in the app. Hop on that thing. I got it together. See, it's already rolling. Brett, It's a little explanation to start. A little. Yeah, no, it was real simple. Yeah. Nothing to it. Well, listen to the radio. Why bother with that? We got a big old flamethrower of a hundred thousand watts. Let's ignore that. Let's do other stuff. The future. It's 801. It's time now for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. It's called the Brady Report, and it's brought to you by all pro shade allprochade.com having the beautiful shade when these sunny days come out. And it is now perfect outside, Perfect Outside for outdoor TV watching. You got a patio that you're not using because it's got too much sunlight or just doesn't have a very good setup. Well, they can put up all sorts of things. I got this east west situation. They'll put up a. A shade for that. They'll put it overhead, they'll put it on the sides. They'll block the glare. If you want to build an outdoor room, all you got to do is get these guys over to your house and have them start explaining exactly how easy it can be. They've done it for years because they're the best in the business. All Prochet.com is where you go. Brady reported.

[C]

Good Monday morning to you, Phoenix.

[B]

Hello, world. Hi.

[C]

Happy national no bra day.

[B]

Not wearing one now.

[C]

And of course, some of you.

[B]

Yes, I forgot all about that. How you doing? Happy indigenous people's days. What are you doing tonight, Brett? You're gonna have a meal, watching the.

[A]

Game and drinking sambuca.

[B]

Oh, yeah, the bears are on tonight. Oh, this is glorious. So you're gonna drink that terrible sambuca? Loving it.

[A]

Horrible moment of it.

[B]

Horrible crap.

[C]

Maybe have some sausage and peppers.

[B]

Don't ever do that voice again. It looked painful. That looked like he was gonna die. I wish we had a camera on. Just.

[C]

You have that.

[B]

No, I know. It's a killer. That's what you said, that it actually looked painful. Anyway, are you gonna have sausage and peppers? Probably gonna make that.

[A]

Might hit the Falcos after. After the show for some lunch.

[B]

Are they open?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Really?

[A]

They gotta to honor us.

[B]

So of course the Falco should be closed today for indigenous peoples day. Yeah, no, absolutely. Anyway, happy former Columbus Day. No to the people who raped and pillaged indigenous peoples. And then it's their day too. How insulting is it to switch Columbus Day to the people he raped today? This has been a screwed up mess from the beginning. And again, no offense to Brett, Columbus didn't discover anything.

[A]

We just made it better.

[B]

No, he didn't discover it. He never got here. He never set foot on the United States.

[A]

You don't know. You weren't there.

[B]

I do know.

[A]

No, you don't.

[B]

His papers himself.

[A]

No.

[B]

He made it over to the Caribbean.

[C]

No.

[D]

No.

[B]

Couple islands over there.

[C]

Exploring.

[A]

Beautiful down there.

[B]

Oh, I think I'm in India. Why do you say that? I don't know. Indian. Did you just name him that? Sure. And by the way, in his day there weren't Indians. India he created was called Hindustan.

[A]

He created them.

[B]

He made it up. A word if he was the one who did it so good.

[C]

And he was like, you gotta come check this out. Gigantic babies.

[B]

Well, that would have been awesome if they'd had those things floating around the. The Great. I watched a special on that this weekend when they were talking about how calling Indians is not a Slurpee because it was never what you think it was. Hindustan was when that was what the name of that area was. And they're like, so calling Indians Indians has never been an insult because there weren't people from India. Now if that was later put on them, I don't know how that ever started. Oh, it was. Oh, they did. They did mention that. It's because in Spanish, it's like ndios of something, like with God. So Indians turned into. From their andios, blah, blah, blah. It was like Indians.

[A]

So Kevin from Discover Cards okay with it?

[B]

Yeah, he didn't care. He was. He's Hindi. He doesn't. He's not Indian. He's Indian. Anyway. Happy, confused, white.

[A]

Let's go with that. Let's go with that. Yeah. That's probably the best.

[B]

Because Columbus never really did anything. Oh, he didn't. Oh, he didn't. When he went back to Spain, they're like, you're an idiot. Oh, Italy didn't want anything to do with him. I don't know why. You good? They. They kicked him out. The history of Columbus ain't pretty. We named like every city in the world after him for a little while. He didn't do anything. Oh.

[C]

Oh.

[B]

That's why they. They should do it that way. Oh.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He didn't do anything. But congratulations. Thanks, people, for surviving. I don't know what you've done. Never won a war anyway. Brady. Go ahead.

[C]

Couple of basis fun facts. Linus from the Peanuts comic strip was named after Charles Schultz classmate Linus Mar.

[B]

Oh.

[C]

They remain close friends until Charles death 2000.

[B]

That usually kills a friendship.

[C]

Y.

[B]

That's pretty.

[C]

They usually met.

[B]

Aren't your friends anymore. Well, he died up and died on me and won't return my calls. I think I'm done with him. Selfish prick.

[C]

They met for coffee at Snoopy's home ice skating rink in Santa Rosa, California.

[B]

Were they gay? Are you implying that Charles Schultz may have been homosexual?

[D]

Sounds like it.

[A]

That happens.

[C]

Flaming.

[B]

Hey. What? Wouldn't you be upset if your friend got famous and like, I bet you know that weak character that has the security blanket. Yeah, that's based on you. Oh, you dick.

[D]

Yeah, you should see what I think about the other kid.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

He's all dirty.

[B]

Number Pig Pen. Remember Timmy?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

When you see what I drew there. And Charlie Brown, the loser. That's me.

[C]

When Ian Fleming finished his first James Bond novel, he celebrated by buying himself a gold plated typewriter.

[B]

Cool.

[C]

At least 70% of the world has brown eyes. Only 2% have green eyes.

[B]

But everybody has one brown eye, guaranteed. Take it in the air. Not all of them. I guess that's true. Because I did see that lady at Bob Evans in Toledo, Ohio, with no lower half, eating like there was no tomorrow. No idea where it was going or how it was coming out. But Toledo and I both watched that. Look, look, look, look. Me, my friend Steve and Toledo sat at a Bob Evans. Because you and Steve were both like, you gotta eat at one of these if you're gonna be in Toledo. Horrible Denny's. And it was made worse by the half a human that rolled in and sat on the table next to us and crushed French toast. Crushed it. And I just kept saying, what happens next? Where's that go? And how's it come out? No bags.

[D]

No bags.

[B]

She's in a dress.

[C]

Side eye.

[B]

No, we analyzed. Yeah, all of us.

[D]

She was on like a wheeled.

[B]

It was like a wheeled office chair. Yeah. Nothing attached to her. And I mean nothing. Not even like a Keep it Alive monitor.

[D]

Nope.

[B]

Looked at her hands. Brady. Not even callous. She didn't even do that weird monkey hand walk. Just in the office chair. Wasn't electric. Don't know how that was moving, to be honest with you, because it wasn't like she could reach down and spin the wheels.

[D]

That's a good point. I never thought about that.

[B]

You just got to there. And then she sat at the table and fired down like six slices of French toast like there was no tomorrow. Hit the sausage. And I'm like, is she worried about her digestive tract? Oh, she doesn't have one. Where does it go? Cut off. Where? Toledo. Would you agree? Directly under the lungs, probably about six ribs gone. She was here to head a foot and a half.

[D]

Yeah. Top of the pelvis, maybe?

[B]

No, it was way higher than that. She was missing ribs. She was sitting on ribs.

[D]

I don't know.

[B]

She was sitting on ribs.

[A]

So, like the clientele, like Texas Grill type people or Bob Evans.

[D]

Evans is like upscale Denny's.

[B]

Upscale. It's Texas Grill. Okay, Bob. Texas Grill is Bob Evans after dark. It's nocturnal Bob Evans.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Disgusting human beings, either.

[A]

No. So, yeah, okay.

[B]

One of the same Cracker Barrel looks at Bob Evans and goes, ugh. How Gauche.

[D]

Who invited them?

[B]

Who invited the rubes? Said cracker barrel. Yeah, Cracker barrel. Yeah. Cracker barrel Looks at Bob Evans like I would never. Holmberg's morning sickness.

[C]

A new report looked into which vehicles birds poop on the most. Is it totally random? According to the report.

[B]

Totally random.

[C]

Birds tend to hit brown vehicles the most, followed by red and black and white and silver cars ranked the lowest.

[B]

White ones, you don't know half the time.

[C]

Researchers say the birds detect ultraviolet and they can have enhanced color vision compared to humans. So darker colors might stand out more seem like prime targets.

[B]

No.

[C]

Also, shiny surfaces can act like mirrors reflecting a bird's image. So during mating season, territorial birds may think their reflection is a rival, leading to repeated attacks.

[B]

At the same time, they crap on the rival. That's never happened. It's never been seen. Nope, that has never happened. And don't do that right now.

[D]

We're waiting.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

We expected.

[A]

No, no. I was waiting for a one liner.

[C]

But as for the brands that get hit the most, Ram is supposedly the number one most bird pooed on. Jeep is second, followed by Chevrolet, Nissan. It's where you park Dodge.

[B]

If you park under a tree, it gets crapped on. If you don't, it doesn't.

[C]

Overall, Americans, 24% of Americans spend over $500 annually on car washes and repairs related to bird droppings. Come on with tests, right? Shelling out the most.

[D]

It's not because we're not washing it.

[B]

Because just bird poop. That study brought to you by down syndrome because the only person that would listen to it has down syndrome. Enjoy. Tylenol.

[C]

Last Thursday. Dinesh Kumar.

[B]

You're coming in kind of hot today. Is anybody else hearing this? You're popping a lot of like you're gur. In your words. Brutal.

[C]

This guy was asleep and his wife came in with a pot of hot oil and dumped it on his face and then sprinkled chili powder.

[B]

Oh, this is AI in real life. What the.

[D]

Is she the inspiration for Saw?

[B]

You're not allowed to ask this if it's a man doing it to a woman. But you are if it's a woman doing it to a man. What did he do?

[C]

He said he woke up and standing over and was the wife with the hot oil.

[B]

What did he do though? What was her name? And how old was she?

[A]

And how old was she?

[C]

He's 28 years old.

[B]

He's 28?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

It couldn't have been that different.

[A]

21 man still.

[B]

Yeah. And she was how old the hot.

[C]

Oil lady around the same age.

[B]

You're guessing.

[C]

Yeah, I'm guessing.

[B]

You don't know.

[A]

He's got some skinny squish on the side.

[B]

Something happened there. Oh, yeah. Isn't it funny? We can victim shame that guy and assume he did something wrong, but if it was a woman who got hot oil poured on her face and we'd say, what did she do? You could lose your job. What did she do to deserve that? Oh, my God. She's a w. She was abused. But when a guy does it, we're all kind of even. Guys are kind of like, what'd he do?

[C]

She thought it was cheating.

[B]

Oh, yeah. We knew that. We just got to figure out with what was he. That's the bigger thing. Thought he was and he was are two different things.

[C]

He wasn't. He wasn't able to answer.

[B]

Yeah. Because he was covered in a hun.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

Man. What? You know what's good about that is that A, she stopped the cheating and B, she's available. She's really. She's made it so much better for her future relationships. Having poured hot oil and cayenne pepper on a man's head.

[C]

I got a four year old daughter too, so.

[B]

Well, yeah, you're gonna.

[A]

Yeah, it'll come with some luggage, but she's a beast.

[B]

Yeah, I bet. She's huge. That after the baby she got.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He started to bone the. The girl that looked like she used to. Yep. And then he got hot oiled and we as men are like, hey, shouldn't have done that, dude. That's the risk you run with those crazy broads. But when a broad gets hot oil poured on her head, it's just a psycho task, guy.

[A]

She should have dropped that baby weight too. So I'm giving him a little here too.

[B]

Four years.

[D]

Exactly.

[A]

That's what I'm saying.

[B]

On Instagram.

[A]

Has been open that long?

[B]

Exactly. On Instagram, I see like these four week tai chi programs and everybody's ripped. Hop on it chunks.

[C]

Got a dude in Oregon named Peter Higginbotham. He had his 1996 Toyota Camry hot wired and stolen last year.

[A]

He should thank them.

[B]

Same girl. What year was it?

[C]

96. 29 year old car.

[B]

I would feel me on the side of it.

[C]

And it wasn't the picture of health. It even had a bumper sticker that said, the book value of my car is one Baja Blast.

[B]

Well, that's what State Farm told him. Yes. Oh, say fine. Can I help you? My car's been stolen. All right, Your policy Number Just tell you. My name's Jeff. I got a 96 Toyota. Oh, yeah. Okay, we'll send you your soda. What? Check it out. Blue book value, one blueberry Blast, half drank.

[C]

About a month later, the car and its thief turned up and the vehicle was a mess. The insurance company declared it must have been totaled. Should have been told when he's paid out seventeen hundred dollars. Peter asked for the judge to drop the charges against the lady who stole the car in exchange marriage for a Mountain Dew blast. Baja Blast.

[B]

The guy makes a lot of good decisions in life.

[C]

He wanted to honor the bumper sticker.

[B]

Yeah, he's good.

[C]

The judge eventually agreed that she poured hot oil. He got his Baja Blast. He didn't like it. He said it. Not a big soda guy. It was a little citrusy. Citrusy. A little bit pineappley. But he goes, I wanted to hold.

[A]

To the Mountain Dew.

[B]

Yes, but he got his insurance money. He just didn't want to put that lady in jail for stealing a. Making a bad decision.

[C]

Instead of jail, give me a Baja Blast.

[B]

All right. That's nice.

[C]

Marinating meat is a life changer. Marinating meat can cut its cancer risk by 90%. Research shown that grilling or cooking anything on high temperature creates compounds that are carcinogenic.

[B]

Look at this.

[C]

Meaning. So the recent study found that marinating meat first can neutralize those compounds.

[B]

It's too late, though.

[C]

Lower your risk by 90%.

[D]

You notice the stories he gets through clean.

[B]

Yeah. Well, lower your risks 90%.

[C]

Starting your meat for at least 40 minutes in what? Using herbs, spices, and some sort of acid. Common ones are like vinegar, wine.

[B]

Oh, lemon juice, not hydraulic. Okay.

[D]

People are asking for you to give the word out again.

[B]

It's rock. I think.

[D]

Yes, I believe that is correct.

[B]

Yeah, Rock. Take it on the app. Rock. Don't text it.

[C]

I'm in.

[B]

Yeah, I'm in, too. I'm already set up for next hour because I've got. I got a head start on all ya. I got all the words.

[A]

Son of a bitch. Here they come again.

[B]

I know. Well, they'll figure it out. Day one. Give them a break.

[A]

Unbelievable.

[B]

Or pour hot oil on their faces.

[A]

Yeah, do that. He can't figure out how.

[B]

That drives me nuts. That's that thing you poured. You know, you can't say she was asking for it, but women will do that. Like, see that guy got hot oil poured on his face. A woman's first reaction is, what'd he do? Like, that shouldn't matter. Nothing as bad as that. Well, you Shouldn't. You shouldn't step out like that, get hot oil. It's reasonable to a lot of them that that's like a good. But again, a woman. Dude pours hot oil on a broad's face, burns her up, turns it into a hot tamale for a couple hours and he goes to jail. She might not.

[D]

John, I'm hearing it too. Ask Brady to say the word vehicle. He says it with extra emphasis. He's got the H this morning.

[B]

You're hitting him hard today. I noticed that. I was, like, hungry, angry. Yeah. Maybe that's it then. You knew that story about meat causing cancer.

[C]

Very important.

[B]

It is. Take it from Brady. We got cancer from meat.

[C]

Probably got a couple of radio videos. First one's a little carpool karaoke.

[B]

Okay. Oh, God.

[D]

Is that what you're calling it?

[B]

Oh, no.

[C]

Yeah, exactly what it is.

[A]

It's gonna be a gem.

[B]

Is this. This is gonna be. Is this from the talk show? No, no. Oh, Jesus. It's a mentally ill Christ on a bicycle. It is a major league deformed human being. This is the dude who got oil poured in his faces. Ride to the hospital. He is a mess. What does he have? First he got lip injections. Way too far. Well, it's the lip injections to make his teeth look bad.

[A]

John Jay's buttocks getting hurt.

[B]

John Jay's got a sleep. Somebody needs to talk to John J. Did one of Dunham's puppets come to life? Because that's kind of right.

[D]

It's from Brady's. One of Brady's Islamic websites. So you do the translations and all the. The comments are. May God heal you.

[B]

Too late. It's too late. Stop worrying about that.

[C]

God willing.

[B]

God made him.

[D]

May Allah heal and heal you, Lord of the worlds.

[B]

I was laughing this morning. I told Brady I was reading a story and I just started to giggle. What is it? And I was like, oh, I just find it hysterical. I saw a story and it's a sad story. A family lost their home through fire, right? And in the story they say, oh, the. I know. Well, it's funny because he knows the ending and how I reacted to it. So I'm like. He goes, what's so funny? I'm like, that's. Some family lost their house in a fire. Jeez. Like, no, no, it's okay. Because a good Samaritan went by and they caught him on ring cam and they want to know who it was because he helped save them. And then they asked the guy whose house it is, and he Goes. The only thing remaining after the fire was a picture of the family that hung above the fireplace. Which proves there's a Jesus. No, there doesn't. If that was. Look, what proves there's a Jesus is if, like, Jesus goes, oh, everybody up.

[C]

Everybody up.

[B]

I'm sorry I did this.

[D]

Otherwise, Jesus is just a prankster.

[B]

This is my fault. If Jesus wanted to prove himself and he had to burn your house down and the only thing you had left was a picture. Jesus is an arsonist. On this. Morning sickness. Holmberg's morning sickness. No, no, no. That's what he wanted us. He wanted us to have a burned down house and remind us that family's the most important thing. Could have left a note.

[C]

Maybe that was the only picture of the family he had.

[B]

Okay. Could have left a note.

[C]

God saved it.

[B]

Could have left a note. If you don't start following me, I'm gonna burn your house down. I'm like, oh, Jesus. That's right. Exactly. Exactly. Oh, Jesus. Consider yourself warned.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Sorry about that, bud. Whoa, buddy.

[C]

The next one is take off the story. The last story I had. Marinate your meat. You also need to marinate your grubs before you eat.

[B]

Oh, these bugs. These things are huge. Oh, God. She's going right in. She's just rubbing around some sort of vinegar and popping them. Right?

[C]

She's just swallowing them.

[B]

Her weird foreign face. Oh, shoot your mouth closed. Toledo's heading there next summer. We have steak now. You don't have to eat them alive anymore. Oh, what is. Why do you chew like that? Oh, God.

[C]

And then on our shirts, a decapitated teddy bear.

[B]

Yeah, I'd rather watch one of Brett's videos making the exact same noise. Stop pouring that dressing on there. Gross. You should hear what it sounds like when she's excited. Sexually similar.

[C]

Next one.

[B]

Are you eating grubs or having sex? Yes.

[C]

Next one. Guy lost to a train.

[B]

No, he's gonna try to. He's on a motorcycle and he's waiting for. Oh, no. Oh, it's on somebody's dash cam. Some dude d dancing around on train tracks.

[A]

Why are the colors look like it's in Tron or something? The colors are so vivid. That's why I asked if it was a cartoon.

[B]

It's India. They're very vivid colors. Brady, you were gonna go to jail for whatever websites you're going to because these the songs. Enough are.

[C]

I'm rolling the dice.

[B]

You are definitely doing that. You know what you should start doing? Just eating meat again. Like, this is worse. What you're doing is just say goodbye to that kidney because you're going to jail for this. Now. This is not better. We're in India again.

[C]

Street food for you, John.

[B]

Street food in Iran or Pakistan or something. Did he just pick his nose?

[C]

Yeah, you missed.

[B]

Did he just snot on his hand.

[C]

And reach into a snot rice?

[B]

Listen to this. Oh, hand right into the bottom. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That means. That means. That means bomb us today, please. Oh, God. He sneezes in his hand and it is a snot festival. Guy said, john, you just made me picture Jesus standing back there like Heisenberg. House burned down. Say my name. Jesus Christo. You're God damn right. See? Well, I have proven Jesus is real. Why? Because I've got a picture. What are you, Nickelback? Remember this photograph before Jesus burned down our house? But he left this photograph. I guess that's proof he's very real. Yeah, I'd be furious. Hey, I saved the picture.

[D]

Look, Asshole.

[B]

What'd you do that for? Jesus. You could have put the fire out. But I saved the picture. I'm calling the police. You're going to jail. You're an arsonist. I could have put it out. I didn't. It's made a miracle around your fireplace. Ironic, huh? Jerk. Brett walk away going, I don't want to be mean to him, but Jesus is a jerk. Standing there wanting credit for the picture. Where's the rest of my house? I'm. I'll be less than that. I'm so sorry for you people in Chandler who lost your home. If I were there, unlike Jesus, I'd have tried to save more than just a picture. I'd have gotten a hose. I guess that would have made me better than your guy. All right, go ahead.

[A]

All right, well then, no particular order today we're just gonna fire some off.

[B]

I hope we can play pause it. And what happens next? Oh, no, not this one though. This is a factory.

[A]

Now where this is going, it's a.

[B]

Big hole in the ground. He looks like he's a few stories. I didn't see that happening. So the thing that's supposed to go and cover up the hole is some 10 pound cap and a dude's head is under it. Oh, my Lord. The whole floor. Shit. Is there no sound? Yeah.

[A]

Where are those?

[C]

Oh, that's not a good press.

[B]

No, it's not. That can't be the most effective way to do whatever they're doing. We threw a hole in the ground and in the dropper cap. Very fast.

[C]

Clear.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Drop it.

[B]

Maybe we should use some pulleys. Oh, no, no, no. Just interrupt it as hard as you can. L. Move. All right. Surveillance from a crosswalk. They're in the people crosswalk. They heard a couple of hot rods walking down the street. Hall, this is not good. Two hot rods in the middle of the road. Cars and.

[A]

Let's get another view on it.

[B]

How did they not see that? It does. Oh, they're just. Wow, man. Oh, Chevitz. That's a lot of car hitting. A lot of girls. Look both ways, you know, look at.

[A]

The camera on the heels of that.

[B]

At the top, in an effort to. Where is that?

[A]

Dr. Augusto de Toledo.

[B]

That's the street. Avenue. Dr. Augusto de Toledo. Dr. Toledo.

[C]

It might be in Barcelona.

[B]

Don't say it that way. On the heels of that, we are number one in the country for pedestrian deaths on the streets. Arizona is so let that be a lesson to you, to look both ways.

[A]

Like multiple times about some weekend boxing.

[B]

All right. Hot girl in her underwear. Hot girls punching a guy in the balls. This dude's got a severe package. And these girls have their gloves on. And all of them can throw. Yeah, none of them are. They're all coming from the hips. These are good punches right into this guy's sack. He's a luchador, and he's got his luchador mascot. And it just ends with his death. I think we just didn't pay attention to the fact the guy stopped breathing. Well, that's terrible too.

[A]

All right. Oh, how about some more terrible?

[B]

All right. We're four floors up on a really crappy building. All right. Somebody in the window jumped into the road. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, he's still alive. He's floating around. Well, he's temporarily, for a minute.

[D]

Was he moving?

[B]

Yeah, the cops were there, like. All right, Nothing to see here. Don't get closer. Click out of that. Oh, here's a. Ah, this one's dumb, but all right.

[A]

Because I don't even know what even. They don't even know.

[B]

A load of naked people, men and women on a stage. And there are two lines, and they cover their genitals. And as. And then they just keep re.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Rebuilding the wall.

[C]

It's an improv troupe.

[B]

It looks like a. Oh, there's a big fat one. Does this ever end? It just never ends. They just keep recycling through the line. Nude. All right. That's all right. It was interesting to see.

[A]

And this one. We don't even know what this is.

[B]

All right, there's. There's no real big Fender cigarettes in a butt and. And a vagina. And they're lining each cigarette. Cigarette stuffed in a bhole. Very clean. You got it. Why she just smoke it with her butt in her vagina? That's it.

[A]

Yeah, that's pretty much it. It's Monday.

[C]

You know, we don't.

[A]

And this guy's working one right behind her too, though.

[B]

Yeah. There's a guy.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Who's into lung cancer. Can you get lung cancer that way? Or is that a more effective way to smoke?

[A]

So that's all we got today. Today's light.

[B]

I guess if you're going to smoke and you worry about lung cancer, that's a way to get around it. You people. You people. Sorry your house burned down. Glad you saved that picture, John.

[D]

Did you look further into that story? That was payback for them finding him on a piece of toast.

[B]

You get a picture of me, I got a picture of you. We're even. I just don't get why people scream that out. I guess that proves there's a Jesus. I'm like, in what way? Picture. I got a picture. You had that before? And a house.

[C]

Yeah. I thought at first it meant that the family got out in time or something.

[B]

They did.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Because of a good Samaritan. But then they went back through the rubble and found that picture. And I would simply say to you, remember yesterday when you had this picture and a 1900 square foot dwelling that wasn't on fire? I think that's better than what. What you got now. And I wouldn't be giving anybody credit for this. Blame. The word you're looking for is blame.

[C]

Maybe you just want out of Chandler. Is that where it was?

[B]

Well, I burned my house down, but I'm not going to start saying, I guess this proves there's a Jesus. I get to move now. Well, you could have moved before. Call Doug Hopkins, 1-800-cell now. It's easy. Anyway, it just made me giggle. And Brady was very kind as an audience. I just think it's funny when people like Jesus after tragedy. I guess this just proves there's Jesus.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I liked it better before I knew Jesus. When my house was here, I liked it a whole lot. I liked it a whole lot better than it was. More than just a chimney and foundation.

[D]

Now we're all those Palisades people. Hey, at least we got the family picture.

[B]

You found your brooch. That proves Jesus does it. Okay. And you know what I just found out last week? Palisades was arson.

[D]

Yeah, I saw That I didn't know.

[B]

That they arrested that kid. And I'm like, that was an arson thing. I knew the other ones were probably, man, he should go to jail forever. And they only had like a 20 year sentence on that. Burn 7,000 buildings now. Crazy. Anyway, well, there you go. That. Oh, while you're not texting. Apping. What do I call this app? No, while you're on the app. Taking it in the app. Rock is the word for another 10 minutes. Get on that at 9 o', clock, we'll do another one because we are tight with time. Uh, there goes your Brady report. It's 98. Holmberg's morning sickness. All right, here's how we're gonna run this, because we're all getting used to this new thing that we're forced to do here to give you guys cash. We're buying your love, and that's a great thing. Take it in the app. You're gonna be hearing that a lot. And the word for 8 o' clock is over. The word for 8 o' clock was rock. Okay, so then at 9 o', clock, I'm supposed to give you another word. But we don't run this show on time at all. If we were a train, we'd be out of business. We would never once be where we're supposed to be when we're supposed to be there. So in the interest of replaying the Guadalupe replay, which had a very fun moment with edgy Jimmy Fallon trying to get canceled, and Brady, who just before the Guadalupe squares ran, somehow managed to run a phone call all the way from Chandler Fashion Square at Bullfrog Spas while he was in the room because they scheduled it wrong. It was supposed to run later in the day and make you guys think new technology. Brady was on the phone. Well, he's not trusted to make just random phone calls in and run a one minute break. It's got to be timed. It would get out of hand. So we have to edit and tape those. They sound very real, but they are very unreal. Nothing. And we exposed it. So we made fun of the fact that Brady, in the commercial break before the Guadalupe squares was two places at once, according to the radio station you were listening to. It was very funny. And it also exposed us as liars. It's the worst thing about radio is when you get caught in a huge lie, which is why we try not to do too much of that nonsense, garbage, fake stuff, because you end up getting busted. But. So the word for nine o' clock in the app contest is cash.

[C]

Cash.

[B]

Tell your friends C A S H. And it'll start right at nine. So in 15 minutes I can give you that. But it won't start until 9. This is. I got to give it to you a little early. And then afterwards when we come back, I'll do it again. So just remember that this is all you guys. At 9 o' clock, it'll say, all right, wait till 9 and then put cash in the 9 o' clock slot on your app and qualify to win that thousand dollars there, too. We're handing money out. That's a good thing. But we got to try to stay on time. It's our first day. We'll try harder and fail tomorrow again. Fitz will take over this thing at 2 o' clock later today. So take it in the app. Cash right now. You get a write it down and then at 9 o' clock you can put it in. In the meantime, here's your Guadalupe replay from Friday. It's fun. It's 98. It's out of control now.