Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – Arizona | 98KUPD | October 14, 2025

Episode Theme:
The episode dives into a harrowing Arizona storm that reminded John Holmberg of his Midwestern roots, unpacks a heated listener email accusing John of Zionist bias, and takes a hilarious detour into Portland’s infamous Naked Bike Ride protest. As always, the cast blends regional weather tales, pointed social commentary, and irreverent humor.

Storm Stories: Arizona Meets the Midwest

[00:15–05:43]

• John Holmberg recounts a terrifying microburst that almost formed a tornado over Phoenix, likening it to his childhood in Indiana.
  • “I was driving down Bethany Home Road yesterday… I remember once my mom just screaming at me… It’s legendary in the Holmberg Hutch of pictures… The sky has turned this awkward egg yolk green… a tornado blew right past the house.” [00:18]
• He hilariously criticizes Arizonans for “standing outside taking pictures” as the storm brewed, saying, “You guys are all morons. What's right next to this thing isn’t pretty.” [02:15]
• He notes the rarity of storms like this in Arizona: “That is the first time I’ve ever seen like a real Midwest tornado developed directly over the city. It was crazy.” [02:37]
• Brady Bogen & Amber chime in with their far less dramatic localized rain. John continues with tales of Indiana’s storm-prone landscape, poking fun at the Midwest:
  • “Indiana…that’s the only time you might believe in God. Like those people in Chandler that thought Jesus was real for saving a picture…” [04:30]
  • “It makes sense. Tornado Alley. There isn’t…that’s the best. Nobody’s ever said that’s the best part of Tornado Alley. It’s all bad.” [04:50]

Midwest vs. Arizona Storm Preparedness
[06:13–07:34]

• Discussion about how poorly Arizona homes are equipped for tornadoes compared to Midwest houses that have basements and overpasses.
• “We built everything out of chicken wire and wood. The wolf’s gonna win this.” [07:23, John]
• “I remember when I was a little kid, that put the fear of storms in me…” [07:34, John]

The Joys of Modern Living…and Complaints

[10:10–12:54]

• Holmberg shifts to mock those who declare the world is “going to hell in a hand basket”:
  • “It’s never been better—two Monday Night Football games and the NLCS, all on one 90-inch TV with multi-view!… Quit complaining that the world’s going to hell in a hand basket and find multi view on your damn YouTube TV hookup.” [11:29]
• “Times have never been harder. Are you crazy? The greatest time to be alive.” [13:00]
• John references his 94-year-old friend Paula as a metaphor for misplaced doom-mongering:
  • “You were 6 when a guy named Hitler started to ravage the world… Now you’re complaining while we wait for our third vodka soda. You’re 94.” [13:33]

Email Backlash: “Zionazi” Accusations & Jewish Conspiracies

[14:13–21:56]

The Email:
John reads an angry listener’s email accusing him of being brainwashed for being happy about Jewish hostages being released. The listener claims Jews “control the information and your finances,” using the phrase “Zionazi” and referencing Jews being kicked out of 109 places.

• “Don’t dabble with things you don’t understand. Sign Brent in Gilbert.” [16:57, John reading email]
• John satirically riffs:
  • “Why haven’t you bowed to them yet if there’s only 10 million of them on the planet and they control the information and finance?… Bow down to your new Jew overlords. The Goldsteins, the Jaime’s, all of them.” [17:18]

Cast Reactions & Satire:
[17:37–21:09]

• The group ridicules the paranoia, riffing about their benign Jewish friends:
  • “My only exposure to Jews for the most part is John Lovitz. I mean, why are we so scared of him?” [17:53, John]
  • “Larry’s really nice.” [18:29, Brady]
  • “The comedy Jews that I know barely control their cars, so I’m not real worried.” [19:07, John]
• They joke about the “Jews controlling Brady’s generator.” [19:55]
• Amber drops a Star Wars reference:
  • “These aren’t the Jews you’re looking for.” [19:05]
• John humorously wonders about their old contest logistics and his phonebook binder, still linking it all back to Jewish “control” in jest.
  • “Seat. S-E-A-T. As in, you don’t have a seat at the Jews’ table of control.” [21:44]

Listener Engagement & Contests

[21:56–23:45]

• Instructions about hourly contest words (“Take it in the app!”), blending pokes at the conspiracy theorist’s theme (“Like the way the Jews have me telling their message”).

Returning to the Israel Emailer: Absurdity Exposed

[23:45–31:41]

• John continues to mock the logic behind anti-Jewish conspiracies, then expands on how senseless it is to devote so much energy to such hate.
  • “If this is them taking over, they’re taking their sweet time.” [24:08]
• “Thanks, I guess. Thanks Jews for all this multi view and awesome stuff you’re giving me.” [25:35]
• The group jokes about how easily John is accused of being everything from a Zionist to a “Trump-tard”:
  • “I’ve been a Jew, I’ve been a gay, I’ve been black for a little bit, but that didn’t take. And now I’m a Zionazi, which isn’t Jew or gay.” [29:44, John]
  • “I don’t even know where I stand on the whole Israel thing. Because if you look at history, you’re kind of like – Did seem like we sort of shoehorned him in there, but it was theirs at one point.” [30:11]
• They skewer the idea of protesting for Palestine from suburban Gilbert:
  • “One thing I don’t get is, like, protesting from Gilbert. You know, it’s real easy to get on Instagram and start shouting.” [31:41, John]

Portland’s Infamous Naked Bike Ride Protest

[32:13–39:28]

• John unleashes ridicule on the recent Portland naked bike protest:
  • “They decided in Portland to have a naked bike ride protest. A total Portland thing. To have all their ugly hippie Portland riding bicycles in the nude… Even good looking people on a bike naked doesn’t look good.” [33:10, John]
  • “The one thing that stops it from going in an ass crack are your pants. If you don’t have pants, throw them…” [34:16, John]
• The group piles on Portland jokes:
  • “Two things you can’t see in there: Sasquatch and decent looking human beings. Most all of them look exactly like Bill Walton and I’m talking about the women.” [33:03, John]
  • “They need to just ride anyway. Not even protest.” [35:06, Amber]
  • “Naked fat people on bikes. I would be for like full out eradications of people.” [35:15, John]
• It devolves into jokes about the smell, attractiveness, and futility of protest-by-biking-nude.

Memorable Portland Quotes:

• “Naked bike ride is never a sentence anyone’s ever said, ever.” [39:56, John]
• “Put your clothes on, Portland. You make us sick.” [40:48, John]
• “Portland, the Toledo of the… (Oregon).” [39:28, John]

Notable Quotes & Moments

| Timestamp | Quote | Speaker | |-------------|----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|----------------| | 02:15 | "You guys are all morons. What's right next to this thing isn’t pretty." | John Holmberg | | 11:29 | "Quit complaining that the world's going to hell in a hand basket and find multi view…" | John Holmberg | | 13:33 | "You were 6 when a guy named Hitler started to just ravage the world… Now you're complaining while we wait for our third vodka soda. You're 94." | John Holmberg | | 17:18 | "Why haven’t you bowed to them yet if there’s only 10 million of them on the planet and they control the information and finance?… Bow down to your new Jew overlords." | John Holmberg | | 19:05 | “These aren’t the Jews you’re looking for.” | Amber | | 21:44 | "Seat. S-E-A-T. As in, you don’t have a seat at the Jews table of control." | John Holmberg | | 33:10 | “They decided in Portland to have a naked bike ride protest… Even good looking people on a bike naked doesn't look good.” | John Holmberg | | 39:56 | "Naked bike ride is never a sentence anyone’s ever said, ever." | John Holmberg | | 40:48 | "Put your clothes on, Portland. You make us sick." | John Holmberg |

Summary of Key Segments

• [00:15–05:43]: John’s Midwest tornado story, Arizona’s ill-preparedness for big storms.
• [10:10–14:13]: Rant on modern conveniences vs. people’s negative world outlook.
• [14:13–21:56]: Hilarious and pointed response to anti-Semitic email; satirical takes on conspiracies.
• [32:13–39:28]: Extended roasting of Portland’s naked bike protest and the futility of such displays.

Tone & Style

• Bold, irreverent, and satirical. Holmberg leads with sarcastic wit, skewering listener extremism while often shifting to self-deprecating humor.
• The group maintains a conversational, rapid-fire energy, frequently interrupting with jokes or one-liners.

For Listeners Who Missed It:

• Expect a blend of nostalgia (Midwest storms), contemporary tech and societal gripes, direct confrontation of listener feedback, and unapologetic humor about regional quirks (Portland especially).
• The episode is peppered with biting satire and over-the-top hypotheticals, especially when dealing with conspiracy theories and protest politics.
• Even when covering tense subjects, the cast leans hard into comedy—mocking bigotry, defending common sense, and turning ordinary news into high-energy banter.

NOTE:
The episode skips over ad breaks and contest logistics beyond what’s relevant for content. The spirit is as much about shining a light on ridiculousness—be it in weather panic, listener emails, or public protest—as it is about offering actual opinions or political stances.