10-14-25 - Microburst Reminded John Of Storms In Midwest For Intensity - Emailer Goes Off On John For Being Happy Jewish Hostages Were Released - Naked Bike Ride Protest In Portland Keeps It Weird

Summary

Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – Arizona | 98KUPD | October 14, 2025

Episode Theme:
The episode dives into a harrowing Arizona storm that reminded John Holmberg of his Midwestern roots, unpacks a heated listener email accusing John of Zionist bias, and takes a hilarious detour into Portland’s infamous Naked Bike Ride protest. As always, the cast blends regional weather tales, pointed social commentary, and irreverent humor.

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Storm Stories: Arizona Meets the Midwest

[00:15–05:43]

• John Holmberg recounts a terrifying microburst that almost formed a tornado over Phoenix, likening it to his childhood in Indiana.
  • “I was driving down Bethany Home Road yesterday… I remember once my mom just screaming at me… It’s legendary in the Holmberg Hutch of pictures… The sky has turned this awkward egg yolk green… a tornado blew right past the house.” [00:18]
• He hilariously criticizes Arizonans for “standing outside taking pictures” as the storm brewed, saying, “You guys are all morons. What's right next to this thing isn’t pretty.” [02:15]
• He notes the rarity of storms like this in Arizona: “That is the first time I’ve ever seen like a real Midwest tornado developed directly over the city. It was crazy.” [02:37]
• Brady Bogen & Amber chime in with their far less dramatic localized rain. John continues with tales of Indiana’s storm-prone landscape, poking fun at the Midwest:
  • “Indiana…that’s the only time you might believe in God. Like those people in Chandler that thought Jesus was real for saving a picture…” [04:30]
  • “It makes sense. Tornado Alley. There isn’t…that’s the best. Nobody’s ever said that’s the best part of Tornado Alley. It’s all bad.” [04:50]

Midwest vs. Arizona Storm Preparedness
[06:13–07:34]

• Discussion about how poorly Arizona homes are equipped for tornadoes compared to Midwest houses that have basements and overpasses.
• “We built everything out of chicken wire and wood. The wolf’s gonna win this.” [07:23, John]
• “I remember when I was a little kid, that put the fear of storms in me…” [07:34, John]

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The Joys of Modern Living…and Complaints

[10:10–12:54]

• Holmberg shifts to mock those who declare the world is “going to hell in a hand basket”:
  • “It’s never been better—two Monday Night Football games and the NLCS, all on one 90-inch TV with multi-view!… Quit complaining that the world’s going to hell in a hand basket and find multi view on your damn YouTube TV hookup.” [11:29]
• “Times have never been harder. Are you crazy? The greatest time to be alive.” [13:00]
• John references his 94-year-old friend Paula as a metaphor for misplaced doom-mongering:
  • “You were 6 when a guy named Hitler started to ravage the world… Now you’re complaining while we wait for our third vodka soda. You’re 94.” [13:33]

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Email Backlash: “Zionazi” Accusations & Jewish Conspiracies

[14:13–21:56]

The Email:
John reads an angry listener’s email accusing him of being brainwashed for being happy about Jewish hostages being released. The listener claims Jews “control the information and your finances,” using the phrase “Zionazi” and referencing Jews being kicked out of 109 places.

• “Don’t dabble with things you don’t understand. Sign Brent in Gilbert.” [16:57, John reading email]
• John satirically riffs:
  • “Why haven’t you bowed to them yet if there’s only 10 million of them on the planet and they control the information and finance?… Bow down to your new Jew overlords. The Goldsteins, the Jaime’s, all of them.” [17:18]

Cast Reactions & Satire:
[17:37–21:09]

• The group ridicules the paranoia, riffing about their benign Jewish friends:
  • “My only exposure to Jews for the most part is John Lovitz. I mean, why are we so scared of him?” [17:53, John]
  • “Larry’s really nice.” [18:29, Brady]
  • “The comedy Jews that I know barely control their cars, so I’m not real worried.” [19:07, John]
• They joke about the “Jews controlling Brady’s generator.” [19:55]
• Amber drops a Star Wars reference:
  • “These aren’t the Jews you’re looking for.” [19:05]
• John humorously wonders about their old contest logistics and his phonebook binder, still linking it all back to Jewish “control” in jest.
  • “Seat. S-E-A-T. As in, you don’t have a seat at the Jews’ table of control.” [21:44]

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Listener Engagement & Contests

[21:56–23:45]

• Instructions about hourly contest words (“Take it in the app!”), blending pokes at the conspiracy theorist’s theme (“Like the way the Jews have me telling their message”).

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Returning to the Israel Emailer: Absurdity Exposed

[23:45–31:41]

• John continues to mock the logic behind anti-Jewish conspiracies, then expands on how senseless it is to devote so much energy to such hate.
  • “If this is them taking over, they’re taking their sweet time.” [24:08]
• “Thanks, I guess. Thanks Jews for all this multi view and awesome stuff you’re giving me.” [25:35]
• The group jokes about how easily John is accused of being everything from a Zionist to a “Trump-tard”:
  • “I’ve been a Jew, I’ve been a gay, I’ve been black for a little bit, but that didn’t take. And now I’m a Zionazi, which isn’t Jew or gay.” [29:44, John]
  • “I don’t even know where I stand on the whole Israel thing. Because if you look at history, you’re kind of like – Did seem like we sort of shoehorned him in there, but it was theirs at one point.” [30:11]
• They skewer the idea of protesting for Palestine from suburban Gilbert:
  • “One thing I don’t get is, like, protesting from Gilbert. You know, it’s real easy to get on Instagram and start shouting.” [31:41, John]

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Portland’s Infamous Naked Bike Ride Protest

[32:13–39:28]

• John unleashes ridicule on the recent Portland naked bike protest:
  • “They decided in Portland to have a naked bike ride protest. A total Portland thing. To have all their ugly hippie Portland riding bicycles in the nude… Even good looking people on a bike naked doesn’t look good.” [33:10, John]
  • “The one thing that stops it from going in an ass crack are your pants. If you don’t have pants, throw them…” [34:16, John]
• The group piles on Portland jokes:
  • “Two things you can’t see in there: Sasquatch and decent looking human beings. Most all of them look exactly like Bill Walton and I’m talking about the women.” [33:03, John]
  • “They need to just ride anyway. Not even protest.” [35:06, Amber]
  • “Naked fat people on bikes. I would be for like full out eradications of people.” [35:15, John]
• It devolves into jokes about the smell, attractiveness, and futility of protest-by-biking-nude.

Memorable Portland Quotes:

• “Naked bike ride is never a sentence anyone’s ever said, ever.” [39:56, John]
• “Put your clothes on, Portland. You make us sick.” [40:48, John]
• “Portland, the Toledo of the… (Oregon).” [39:28, John]

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Notable Quotes & Moments

| Timestamp | Quote | Speaker | |-------------|----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|----------------| | 02:15 | "You guys are all morons. What's right next to this thing isn’t pretty." | John Holmberg | | 11:29 | "Quit complaining that the world's going to hell in a hand basket and find multi view…" | John Holmberg | | 13:33 | "You were 6 when a guy named Hitler started to just ravage the world… Now you're complaining while we wait for our third vodka soda. You're 94." | John Holmberg | | 17:18 | "Why haven’t you bowed to them yet if there’s only 10 million of them on the planet and they control the information and finance?… Bow down to your new Jew overlords." | John Holmberg | | 19:05 | “These aren’t the Jews you’re looking for.” | Amber | | 21:44 | "Seat. S-E-A-T. As in, you don’t have a seat at the Jews table of control." | John Holmberg | | 33:10 | “They decided in Portland to have a naked bike ride protest… Even good looking people on a bike naked doesn't look good.” | John Holmberg | | 39:56 | "Naked bike ride is never a sentence anyone’s ever said, ever." | John Holmberg | | 40:48 | "Put your clothes on, Portland. You make us sick." | John Holmberg |

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Summary of Key Segments

• [00:15–05:43]: John’s Midwest tornado story, Arizona’s ill-preparedness for big storms.
• [10:10–14:13]: Rant on modern conveniences vs. people’s negative world outlook.
• [14:13–21:56]: Hilarious and pointed response to anti-Semitic email; satirical takes on conspiracies.
• [32:13–39:28]: Extended roasting of Portland’s naked bike protest and the futility of such displays.

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Tone & Style

• Bold, irreverent, and satirical. Holmberg leads with sarcastic wit, skewering listener extremism while often shifting to self-deprecating humor.
• The group maintains a conversational, rapid-fire energy, frequently interrupting with jokes or one-liners.

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For Listeners Who Missed It:

• Expect a blend of nostalgia (Midwest storms), contemporary tech and societal gripes, direct confrontation of listener feedback, and unapologetic humor about regional quirks (Portland especially).
• The episode is peppered with biting satire and over-the-top hypotheticals, especially when dealing with conspiracy theories and protest politics.
• Even when covering tense subjects, the cast leans hard into comedy—mocking bigotry, defending common sense, and turning ordinary news into high-energy banter.

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NOTE:
The episode skips over ad breaks and contest logistics beyond what’s relevant for content. The spirit is as much about shining a light on ridiculousness—be it in weather panic, listener emails, or public protest—as it is about offering actual opinions or political stances.

Transcript

[Amber]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP guns.com your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[John Holmberg]

Good morning everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Tuesday. It is 5:45. It's the morning sickness. My name is John Holmberg. How are you? There's Brady, there's Brett, there's. There's Big Dick Toledo. And off we go the day after the thing. I was driving down Bethany Home Road yesterday at one in the afternoon and I'm deep down I'm an Indiana boy with core Indiana memories. And when I was a little kid, I remember once my mom just screaming at me and my friend Mark Cassius playing baseball in the backyard. We were probably five and she took a picture of us before. It's legendary in the Holmberg Hutch of pictures. I haven't seen it in years though. And we're standing in the backyard, you know, probably August summertime, looking confused like we had to come in. And behind us the sky has turned this awkward egg yolk green, you know, hard boiled egg color and it. And it's made like a spiral and the clouds are almost on top of the ground. And my mom's like get in the house, it's coming. And a tornado blew right past the house. Took the roof off a house about six houses down. We were in the basement and all that. So we didn't get to see it happen. But you could hear that train. I'm on Bethany and 16th street yesterday and I'm heading east and I looked as I made the right turn. I looked and I'm like, oh boy, I know what that is. And it was right. If it wasn't for what they call Piestewa Peak. That thing's turning into a. Just a straight up tornado. Like a real one. It was almost to the ground. It was doing that weird. You've been there in Ohio that weird. It just is Death swirl. Doesn't look normal. It just. You just know it when you see was not. It was big and I've lived here since I was 11 years old. I've never seen that.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And it was like just this turn and then I think the mountain kind of busted the front half of it up and it just turned into a nasty storm. It already hit Tempe with microburst that was going to turn into a tornado. It was like 82°. It was perfect. It was just a per. No rain. And you're like oh, you're in trouble and nobody knows. And I'm driving through my neighborhood and everybody's standing outside taking pictures. I'm like, you guys are all morons. What's. What's right next to this thing isn't pretty. And luckily it broke. We got just hammered like a street away and then nothing. That is the first time I've ever seen like a real Midwest tornado developed directly over the city. It was crazy.

[Brady]

Sometimes when you see those big, you know, the micro bursts or whatever, when it just dumps out of the thing, it does a little.

[John Holmberg]

Well, the microburst is the spiral. That's the microburst. The. The water falling and just a crazy storm. But it's gonna. That's an actual, like mini tornado. This was the legit sky spinning, like.

[Brady]

And the coloring.

[John Holmberg]

It's the coloring. It's that nauseating weird, like is. Am I. You get dizzy because the whole sky starts to move. It was right. It was nuts. But it did, you know, luckily, I mean, the tornadoes are fairly reliant on incredibly flat land. And then I got real nervous because I looked out my window and there was our sales lady, Susan, I've got your dog too. I'm like, oh, my God, it's happening. She flew right by me. I'm like, this is real. And then everything went black and white. And me and the two farmers arm hands were like, get inside. What's going on? It was real. It was crazy. So hopefully everybody, you know, didn't. You didn't lose stuff because it was a. My buddy Marty came over and he was like, I. I called family to tell them I love them because I felt I was driving into the apocalypse. It was. I've not seen something like that in Arizona. And it didn't last very long. It was like four minutes of like, oh, boy, I know what's going on here. And it's moving a thousand times faster than the other clouds. It's just cruising and it's a tornado. It's like, oh, boy. I don't think people realized how close that thing was to forming something really ugly.

[Brady]

Didn't know anything about. I mean, being down in Gilbert, there wasn't much in the afternoon until the evening, but it wasn't quite.

[John Holmberg]

Man.

[Brady]

We had a. This, you know, crushed briefly, but nothing like that.

[John Holmberg]

Ohio doesn't get tornadoes like Indiana does. Indiana should be. That's the only time you might believe in God. Like those people in Chandler that thought Jesus was real for saving a picture is. Have you ever been to Indiana and met the people of Indiana? And you. You get around and you see the sights of Indiana, you realize there's a reason God keeps throwing tornadoes at this place. What a dump. And it makes sense. Tornado Alley. There isn't like a. That's the best. Nobody's ever said that's the best part of Tornado Alley. It's like it's all bad. Like there isn't a good city. There's. It's all, yuck. It's Illinois and Indiana and some of Ohio and it could all. We could twist it all up. In fact, I'd be on her side. I'd be one of the little monkeys or one of the dudes with the furs and the giant axes. Oh, oh. I'd be on her side if she's like, I want to destroy Ohio, Indiana and Illinois. Yes. Sign me up for that. So I hope everything's all right because that was a big one. We just got hammered over the last few huge storms. Massive storm. Yeah.

[Amber]

We just got a bunch of rain by us. We didn't get. We didn't get barely any wind by us. But it dumped again.

[John Holmberg]

It sure was. Sure was fun. Because I didn't. Yeah, I didn't. I didn't think that would happen here. And good. The mountains will stop it. But it was kind of neat in a weird way. It makes me kind of root for that again because, you know, if the mountains are going to stop it, I get to see that cool visual. It was, it was, it was. I have never seen that since I've lived here. I've seen big storms. I've seen like, oh, this would go a certain direction but never actually start to form where you feel unsteady because the sky starts to move.

[Brady]

The other thing you realize is if you are familiar with the Midwest, like you're saying, and there's tornadoes, there's no real good place in most of our houses that are not too many basement built for it.

[John Holmberg]

We don't have any overpasses. You don't even think that in Indiana you'll go through an overpass on one of their highways and stuff. And inside the overpass are these like little lay down spots. Like you can get in them. Yeah. Like on the, on the ramps that go down. Like you pull over under the overpass and lay down or get inside these like cutouts.

[Brady]

I thought about that the other day. It's like, you know, really go to the bathroom in the tub. That's still.

[John Holmberg]

If there's a tornado. Yeah, you were thinking about that. Oh, yeah.

[Brady]

If I was just saying if you had a tornado or something.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I thought you said the other day you Were like, planning with the family.

[Brady]

I was thinking, because I was watching one of those programs where the people are going into these tornadoes, trying to record them.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And, you know, they always head off to a ditch or some got trapped in their car.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Well, that's their fault. If you chase a tornado, you're a.

[Amber]

Well, in these new houses, the way they're built out here, tornadoes, you know, do nothing.

[John Holmberg]

Has anyone watched. I was gonna say, has anybody watched the Three little Pigs? We built everything out of chicken wire and wood. The wolf's gonna win this. Yeah. Mine's. I got a block home. I do, too.

[Brady]

The pool.

[John Holmberg]

Huh? You're getting in the pool. It's not a lot. Probably safer. Not a bad idea. How long can you hold your breath? Tornadoes don't last forever. But, yeah, it's. It's kind of neat. But. Yeah, I was. I. We are not built for it. You're absolutely right. I remember when I was. When I was a little kid, that put the fear of storms in me was that one that we lived on a street was like, you know, at the end of it, there was a car dealership way up at the end of the road, and we were kind of down the street in the middle. So the major road car dealership, you turn in behind that, you turn again, and you're in our neighborhood. And the house that was next to the car dealership, it was like it was surgically cut off. The roof was gone. And that storm. That sounds so much like a train, like, when they say that. Oh, it's this locomotive sound. It is exactly that. And, you know, our house and most of the others, totally untouched. This thing just. The wind whipped, took it, and then went into a field and tore the hell out of a cornfield and went up by my elementary school and just knocked some stuff over. But for the most part, the only house in our neighborhood. And there was a lot of trash around, like papers and sticks and stuff. Just took the roof off. And. I mean, but what's weird, like, it was cut off at the roof line. It was perfect. It was perfect. Yeah. And as a little kid, I remember, you know, when it all settled, it gets real calm, and we all went outside to make sure everything in our houses were all right. And I'm just out there crying my eyes out. And down the road, there's no roof on the house, and people are freaking out. One house in our neighborhood, and then the car dealership got just all the light poles bent down. It was crazy. It would have been on the news Today it would have been. It was great TV because there's junk everywhere. And then the house right next to it was absolutely fine. It was weird. So weird.

[Brady]

But still, it gets before.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, and that was the other thing. As I'm on 16th Street, I'm driving and I'm looking at this, and I'm like, well, I know exactly what that is. I got to the freeway light to cross over the 51, and it was dead calm. And I'm like, ew, this is it. And then. And then the trees started to move a little, and then a lot. And I'm like, oh, God. Yeah. So that Fiesta Peak did something. Squaw Peak knocked it down. So great job, mountain. That's what we've got you for. So I think it's over. I think we're all okay. And I know there's gonna be people going, arizona has weather. We're not built for weather. The reason it's a big deal, the reason Paul Hortons on there all day going, whoa, buddy. Is because we don't know what to do when it rains. It floods here because it's dry all the time. So everybody's just rain. I'm back in Michigan. Yeah, back in Michigan. They're built for it. It's a mud puddle. It rains here and it's a mess. People don't help, but. Yeah, we don't. We can't have unexpected weather here. We're not good at it. We're bad enough with regular rain. We're bad with like. That shouldn't have happened. Tore up half a Tempe. You see that damage down in Tempe?

[Amber]

Like Mellon Southern?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Just got trashed. It took roofs off. It was nuts. Morning sickness. Homburg's morning sickness. This was a real one. And again, look in the sky. If you see KUPD sales, if that goes by you, I have excellent rates for overnights. Telling you it's a thing. Then I go home and watch the greatest night of sports. I didn't have a team in the race, but I got that multi view on YouTube. And there's nothing better than having the NLCS and two Monday Night Football games going on the same TV. That. That is where I draw the line of people going. It's worse than it's ever been. I can't believe what's happened. Let's go. This hell in a hand basket society. Nope. Two Monday Night Football games in the nfcs, and I had one television. And the new technology, I can watch all of them because my TV's 90 inches. I used to watch TV when I was a kid on a. In my room on a 13 inch television this color. But at least I had that. And I was so happy with it. I had a sound system attached to it, a VCR when I was like 50. This tiny little television. Nobody ever came to my house and said that things. What do you have that it was awesome to have. Now I've 90, I've got. Jesus Christ, I can't even do the math on what is it? Nine feet of tv. It's ridiculous. And it's sitting on my wall and it shows three shows at once. And with a simple touch of a button I'm getting sound for any of. Come on, quit complaining that the world's going to hell in a hand basket and find multi view on your damn YouTube TV hookup. Direct probably has it too. It's incredible. It's incredible. It's been no better time to be alive than now. If it weren't for your kids constantly mucking up Gilbert and everything else. Ruining everything and making us all like the kids have fentanyl. The kids have. Oh for Christ's sake, pay attention. Three multi view. Nothing gets better than multi view. And tonight you got basketball. The Suns are back so within a week we'll have. And hockey. We'll. You could have all four major sports on one television at once. Oh, don't tell me it's tough to be around right now.

[Amber]

And no WNBA too.

[John Holmberg]

And that's over. That nightmare. So thank Christ it doesn't even tease you. With a multi you can build your own.

[Brady]

You don't even end it with a storm.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you don't have to Google search. How do I delete one of the four multi views it gave me? A WNBA game won't even do it. Awesome stuff. I'm so like we have to embrace the greatness of what's going on again. You order something from Amazon, there's a chance it'll be there within an hour or so and you're watching three things at once on nine feet of television in your house. Times have never been harder. Are you crazy? The greatest time to be alive. We just, we keep focusing on so much negativity and nastiness. It's the greatest time to be alive. My 94 year old friend Paula, I always have to remind her because she gets lost and then she watches news and she comes and she says I just don't know what's going on in this world. It's just. It just seems to be just caving in And I'm like, Paula, you were 6 when a guy named Hitler started to just ravage the world. Yeah, that's true. You had rations you weren't allowed to go to the store. You had certain amount of things you were allowed to buy. Yeah, I guess that's probably true. I'm like, all right, it's awesome. Right now you're complaining while we wait for our third vodka soda. You're 94. Yeah, it's great out here.

[Amber]

Don't worry about the news at 94. It doesn't matter.

[John Holmberg]

You're fine. You made it. Meanwhile, remember what your grandparents said. I don't know what the hell's going on with this world. It's all caving in. It's falling apart around us. No, it's not. It's all right. You're just getting older and it seems like it's passed you by. Because it has. I just don't know what to do. It's just so scary. No, it's not. You know, it's. You know, if you're scared, get on Amazon and order a suit of armor. It'll be there in three hours. You're gonna be fine. And I'll get the emails from somebody. You know what it's like to struggle out there. So then stop it. You'll get a third job if you have to. If you're struggling and you hate it, change it. It's not that easy. Yes, it can be. Trust me. If I can be alright with this, everyone can. I have no discernible skills whatsoever. I just found something that I kind of am okay at. I got the world fooled. Well, maybe I don't, because this guy emailed me this morning. He thinks he's figured me out. Remember yesterday, the guy that said. After I said it, I thought it was a nice thing that the hostages were released from Little Peace. Go back. Yeah, peace isn't bad. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I had that. But I said, oh, that's nice. That's pretty much all I said. Oh, that's nice. Those people get to go back to their families and stuff. No matter what the politics of it, which I'm sure are all dirty. I still think it's nice that those people get to see their families again. Killer. Me, a pessimist. It says, hey, Holmberg, that Zion. Oh yeah. And a guy called me a Zionazi, which is a new word for me. I had to look all that up and just basically means I'm for the. I'm for the state of Israel. And for that being an Established place and also a Nazi. I can't figure that part out at all. Anyway, it says the Zionazi guy that emailed you was technically right. When you said you were happy about the release of the hostages, you proved you haven't got a clue what's going on in the world. The Jews have been kicked out of 109 places on Earth. If you and Brady tried to go to 109 restaurants and got kicked out, would you still blame the restaurants or would you start to realize it's you? The support of the State of Israel is your way of accepting that we don't have a government, we have a Jewish super state and you're bowing to them. Look deeper into what you said and you'd realize the Jews and their intrusion into the region is why we have to question their every move. They already control the information in your finances. I know you say you don't have people telling you what to say on kupd, but without knowing it, they have you fooled. And you deliver their message without even realizing they've turned you into a zombie bullhorn. Zombie Bullhorn's a good band name.

[Brady]

It is.

[John Holmberg]

Stick with the jokes, cuz you're funny. But don't dabble with things you don't understand. Sign Brent and Gilbert. Oh, Brent and Gilbert. How much easier life would be if you stopped giving a flying at the state of Israel and its concerns. It would just be better. No. That's what the Jews want. Didn't you see yesterday the Jews made a tornado in Phoenix. They're in control of the weather too. Why haven't you bowed to them yet if there's only 10 million of them on the planet and they control the information and finance we've already lost. Bow down to your new Jew overlords. The Goldsteins, the Jaime's, all of them. Get down on your knees and praise those Jews.

[Brady]

His initial thing of me getting turned down. You and I getting turned down. 109 restaurants and impossible scenario to even imagine.

[John Holmberg]

Why is that?

[Brady]

I would never get turned down by 109 restaurants.

[John Holmberg]

No. In a row. Yeah. Like, I mean, there could be a thing where 109 over a lifetime. Because you just won't go home. Maybe. Or maybe it's because we're constantly fighting and you drove and like Brady, take me home. If we go to one more restaurant, I'm going to kill you. No. 108 more. My God. Damn it. So we're just causing a scene, but yeah. I can't imagine living my life that afraid of the Jews. Jews. And mainly because my only exposure to Jews for the most part is John Lovitz. I mean, why are we so scared of him? I get it. I get it. I have some tough Jewish friends, too.

[Brady]

Larry's really nice.

[John Holmberg]

I beat up Larry, too. I'm not scared of Larry. Like, I don't think Larry can. Like, I don't know that. The only times I get worried with Larry is when he. He. Sometimes he doesn't like what I'm saying. And he goes, come into my office. I'm like, all right. And he turns the lights out, and he puts a flashlight on one of those spinning spiral things. Look at the spiral. Look, dead center. The Jews control the media. You will deliver our message tomorrow through fart jokes and bad impressions. Yes, Larry the Jew. I will leave and do the Jews bidding.

[Amber]

These aren't the Jews you're looking for.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he's got all that. I'm not the Jew you are looking for. This isn't the Jew we're looking for. All right, everybody, keep moving. Sure. I. Krav Maga is the root form of what has developed into tactical black. So I understand that the Israeli Jews are really tough. The comedy Jews that I know barely control their cars, so I'm not real worried. Like, if we're talking about 10 million Jews across the entire world, I know about 40 of them that aren't in on the whole control thing. They can barely make their lives work.

[Brady]

I think I've only gotten, well, most recent threatened by a Jew to break my effing chest.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, you had that Jew.

[Brady]

And I actually was helping this person out.

[John Holmberg]

Now, if anybody's gonna make you anti Semitic, it's that guy right there. The one that stole your generator and then wanted to beat us up over him stealing it. Like, he never did the math on that. He controls your generator, that's for sure. There's no doubt about that. So the worst I can say from evidence is the Jews control Brady's generator. And that's about all I know for sure. Oh, yeah. At six o'. Clock. We got to get that word out. I almost blew it again.

[Amber]

Where's that behind you?

[John Holmberg]

Huh? Right there.

[Brady]

The giant notebook.

[John Holmberg]

There's your Trapper keeper.

[Brady]

Think about looking early at the words, too. But doesn't matter.

[John Holmberg]

Time to take it in the app. The Jews would have it. No other way. It's the 14th. Yeah, man. This notebook. Elaborate.

[Amber]

It's put a lot of work into that thing too.

[John Holmberg]

You know, I don't want to be a. I don't Want to be a and tell people how to do their job. We got like a 400 page phone book binder of words. I don't know if told Larry. Well, I don't know if Larry and Andy.

[Brady]

Did you ask Larry? Can we rip them out? Because Annie was suggesting that after the word.

[John Holmberg]

Here's the thing, though, I want to tear. We got computers now. We don't need these.

[Amber]

Sell spreadsheet behind her.

[John Holmberg]

Spreadsheet man. Holmberg's morning sickness. Anyway, this thing's heavy. Today's for. Oh, that's 7:00am I almost gave away the 7:00am one. Here's six. Don't. I would have ended the whole. All right, put it in there. Take it in the app. Go to the app right now. Put it on a Bluetooth speaker like our bosses say everyone does, even though no one does. And put in the word for six o' clock. Seat. S E a T as in, you don't have a seat at the Jews table of control. Seat S E a T. I am a zionazi. I like the word. I don't know what it means, but.

[Amber]

It'S in the app. Don't email.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, don't email it and don't text it. App. You got to get on the app. Take it in the app. See, the whole contest is basically take it in the app. We're making that way. So you got 40 minutes from 6 o'. Clock. So it's 6:40. That shuts off. 7 o', clock, we do it again. And what I screwed up yesterday and didn't understand is we don't do like a. A qualifier every day. Everyone who gets in is in. And you can do it all nine times, all day long. So we'll do it five before. Five out. Four. Five, yeah. Four with us and five with Fitz. So I'll give you the four words this morning. Every time, every hour. It's brand new. You can get yourself entered again. It's like that HGTV dream house. You go, you register, and then you can do it again the next day. The next day I am too. I. And. And you can keep going. Like in theirs, you just. You sign up and then it says, want to do it again? And I'm like, yeah. And they just test your patience because they make you do all the steps again. Name, address, like, how'd you hear about us? What kind of handy project? What kind of magazines do you like? What websites do you. I'm like, I just did this. And for that dream house. And it's always in a place I Never want to live.

[Brady]

I think Missouri, another show in itself too. Following up the people that have wanted these houses over the years.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

What do they look like now?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Torn down. Yeah. Some of those houses are gorgeous. But they put them in like Alabama and like one was in the woods in Arkansas. It was gorgeous there. I was just putting it in there. Tucson, if they did Tucson, I would, I would not enter to win the it's not anybody's dream house. And said nightmare scape. You want to go to a nightmare fueled home, it's in Tucson. You can win it for free. Like all the houses in Tucson should be free. There shouldn't be a house in Tucson that isn't free. Anyway, the word is seat. I know you're getting hit again.

[Amber]

Look Amber, how your fifth one to the email is not doing you any good. You're not qualified. Go on the goddamn app.

[John Holmberg]

App, Amber, Amber Powell, I'm calling you. Or go to the98kupd.com and do their pro in the promo code. You'll find it. Click on take it in the app. It's right there. You click on that and you scroll down and you'll see all the little spots that you put in there. 6:00am is seat. Oh, it's going to take a couple days to get them indoctrinated. Like the way the Jews have me telling their message. I just don't know. I can't imagine living my life caring about that stuff that. Oh, I'm pissing them off now though saying that. I know. That's because if you don't care, they're just gonna take over. Dude, if this is them taking over, they're taking their sweet time. No they're not. Like I'm not feeling it. You're just not paying attention. I don't want to. Then I'm fine with the way things are if the Jews are taking over. You know, again, I had three, three sports, awesome sports on my TV last night and I could have added a fourth if there was another game on I would have. And I had doordash show up. Everything was great. Yesterday was. Yesterday was great. So thanks I guess. Thanks Jews for all this multi view and awesome stuff you're giving me. He's doing it again. Says don't attack Brent too much in defense of his anger. He probably was watching a guy bang his wife in mid season and pulled out a yarmulke. Not this. I thought they're talking about you. No. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, he's probably thinking he was. This is an awesome cookery situation. I'm really enjoying the. What? What? What? Did he just break out of yarmulke? What is that, a menorah? It's not even close to the holidays. Jeez. So seriously, on behalf of all the Brett's and Brents in the US Kindly shut your mouth. If we need to hear from the idiot community, we'd ask you again. Think of how uptight you'd have to be to hear the radio guy that you listen to and like, because he knows your name. He knows my name, so he pays attention. All I said, and literally all I said was, oh, I got those hostages home. That's a pretty big deal. That seems nice. I'm glad those people could see their families. Like, it's almost off brand for me not to say something stupid about it. Then all I said was, that's nice. That seems like a pretty big deal. You can hate Trump. You can love Trump. This is a pretty big deal. That's all I said. Sire Nazi. Okay, there's no winning with balloons.

[Brady]

I don't know why it made me picture, but I'm thinking the opposite of like one of those kids shows. The big thing growing up was where they shout out, I see you, John Hol.

[John Holmberg]

That was Romper Room.

[Brady]

Romper Room. And then you'd get hate mail for you.

[John Holmberg]

Think she ever got a hate man?

[Brady]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

I just wonder. Lady that got that big magnifying glass, you shouted out to this guy, he's Jewish. Yeah. Did I hear you say hold. Hold tight here, Host of Romper Room. Are you a Zion Nazi? Why would you say that? Because I heard you say you saw Jeff, which was fine. Brian, which was great. I know Brian. Good dude. Glad you saw him. And then hi, Iam like you're looking for Jews. Why would you let a Jew in the romper Room? He's just going to control it. Hey, my name is Chaim. I control the toys over here in the Romper Room. I'm for currently in charge of the stuffies. I've been noticed.

[Brady]

Tyrone.

[John Holmberg]

There goes the neighborhood. We got a Tyrone in the romper Room. All right. Hydro Velcro wallets. I didn't even know they made hellcat tricycles. But here he is. Here he is. Of course, of course. Now the fire alarms don't work. Yep, that's Tyrone.

[Amber]

I gotta watch some of those old episodes now.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Racist Romper Room would be awesome. I recognize David and Tom. What I don't recognize is the Jewish state of Israel. So Chaim you can go. Yeah, get out. Oh, don't think you're far behind him, T. Rex. You're out, too. You got a bird in your attic. Yeah, I don't get it. I don't get. I don't get being that you live in Gilbert. It's easy over there. You don't have anything fun to do, and all your restaurants are just copies of other things. It's almost like Rock Ridge, but still you have Gilbert. Why are you mad at Israel? I gotta be. TV says so you say, I'm the bullhorn and I'm the brainwashed one. But yet, whatever you're doing, this is why I can't stand Instagram for the most part, because everything he's spouted in that. I've seen the Instagram meme where the guy walks around going, if you got kicked out of 109 bar, would you still blame the bars? And then the girl answering is like, yeah, it would probably be something. I'd have to look at myself and go, why am I getting kicked out? What are you getting at? And the guy goes, the Jews. Oh, God. You can't go around. The lady actually says, you can't go around asking people that. And she just walks away. He's at a gym. So this guy, clearly this Brent dude or whatever, saw that. Yeah. That makes my point for me. So I don't have to do much work here in Israel. I'm in Gilbert. I've got stuff to do. Going to Joe's barbecue Saturday, and then we're going to hang out at over at the Agritopia for a nice picnic. I'd still hate the Jews, but I'm gonna have a nice day. Get all fired up over stuff. I can't imagine being that crazy. And Zionazi is. Zionazi is a real thing. You know, I've been a Jew, I've been a gay. I've been black for a little bit, but that didn't take. And then. And now I'm a Zionazi, which isn't Jew or gay. It's the support of the state of Israel all the way from Phoenix. I don't think it matters if I did or not. He said, yep, that's how they get you, John. Right in the app. And you guys are doing it now. Complete Jew message. Take it in the app. That's what the Jews have been doing to us for years. Yep, that's right. But Howard's turn. Wannabe. That's Jewish, but now I'm an Israel supporter, also a Nazi. Don't know How I could.

[Amber]

I don't even know how to trump tarred, too. At one time, I've been a trump tard.

[John Holmberg]

I've been a libtard, a trump tard. I feel pretty good about it. And I'll be honest with you, I don't know what your message is here. I don't even know where I stand on the whole Israel thing. Because if you look at history, you're kind of like. Did seem like we sort of shoehorned him in there, but it was theirs at one point. But we did sort of shoehorn them in there, knowing it would cause trouble. Oh, well, I can see kind of a side, but the other side seems a little bit fiery. I'll side with the Jews for now. They don't seem to be just paragliding in and attacking stuff. And then the pitch to make me agree with you is usually just calling me a dumb. I don't think that's gonna win me over. You're such a dumb. You don't see the world the way it needs to be seen. I feel better about the way I see things than the way you're presenting your side. You seem sort of crazy. I said I didn't. Hey, John, I bet Brent was that guy you saw in the overpass last year with that Free Palestine sign standing by himself. Yeah, there was. The dude who had the. On Valentine's Day, had that sign and he had written it in, like, free Palestine, will you be my palace? Well, they've had cups and this dude had a big tarp. There's been plenty of them. I was with Lovett's once and we saw a guy waving the Palestinian flag. He just thought he was an idiot. He didn't go crazy. One thing I don't get is, like, protesting from Gilbert. You know, it's real easy to get on Instagram and start shouting.

[Brady]

Pretty nice.

[John Holmberg]

It seems awesome. Like, if you can go to Agritopia, get some Joe's Barbecue afterwards, maybe hit. Is Toby Keith still a thing? Go over to that place now.

[Brady]

I don't think so.

[John Holmberg]

One of those hillbilly bars, Bentley.

[Brady]

And who knows with that?

[John Holmberg]

Maybe go over there and maybe it's.

[Brady]

Shabozi's, though I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

Not either way. It's a country. Gilbert, please. Yeah, it's. They're not letting Shaboozi have a place. You can go in there and.

[Brady]

Sorry.

[John Holmberg]

Holg's morning sickness. So, you know, you can hate the Juice, wander into Shabuzzi's, chat up a retard, try to get laid by somebody with an IQ of about 11 in a very nice Gilbert home. I mean, good luck finding yours. They're all exactly alike. But once you do, it's going to be an interesting thing. You nail that retard, you have 11 babies with her and you hate the Jews that way. It seems like that's been the plan. And then you yell at me for saying, gosh, it's nice that those people get to see their families again. And then you try to win me over. I'm not coming your way till you calm down. The thing in Portland, I don't know if you saw this, but here's. I just, I'm not up for. I just don't have it in me to march for real Portland. I'm sure there are good looking people in Portland. I'm sure of it. I know, there's my first thought too. I'm sure they're there. The cameras have never spotted them. Two things you can't see in there. There are. Oh, are there.

[Brady]

They're called visitors.

[John Holmberg]

Yes, they're called tourists. But who's going there? Other than the people who look just like.

[Brady]

See the goonies hang out?

[John Holmberg]

That's the only one. Maybe you land. You land in the Portland airport and then you drive off into the woods and look for the other thing no one's ever seen in port, which is Bigfoot. You got two things that are elusive in Portland. Sasquatch and decent looking human beings. Most all of them look exactly like Bill Walton and I'm talking about the women. So yesterday I'm watching the news and this should have been like, you talk about like gun violence and stuff that makes kids awful. I think we need to stop showing Portland when they protest because man is it ugly. And they decided in Portland to have a naked bike ride protest. A total Portland thing. To have all their ugly hippie Portland riding bicycles in the nude. It's already Portland people doing it. But good Christ, even good looking people on a bike naked doesn't look good. It's awful. It just looks like a potential hazard at any bump, speed bumps going. It's just awful to watch those saddle seats in an ass crack. Like the one thing that stops it from going in an ass crack are your pants. If you don't have pants, throw them.

[Brady]

Away after the ride.

[John Holmberg]

Oh my God, I hope so. I don't know. Everything in Portland smells like a well worn bike saddle seat. But yeah, I've yet to see a decent looking. So I, I don't even know what they were Riding against in Portland. But the second I saw it, the naked bike ride of hippies in Portland, I said whatever. There it is. Whatever they're doing, I'm against it. This could be to like. This could be against enslaving Americans. And I'd be like all for enslaving Americans. If this is how we fix it with Portland people naked on bikes in the rain. Pigs.

[Amber]

They need to just ride anyway. Not even protest.

[John Holmberg]

Some exercise, for Christ's sake. Where did these fat hippies get bikes? Because they've never ridden one before. They're just horrendous. And this, I saw this last night and they're riding around in Portland being Portlandian. I mean, you could be for free ice cream for everyone. And that's how we get it. I'd be against it. If this is what it takes to get things done. I'm against whatever they're doing. Naked fat people on bikes. I would be for like full out eradications of people. We're trying to save the mentally challenged. How are we doing it? We're going to get fat people on bikes to ride around. Like kill all the mentally challenged then I'm for the opposition. I'm strong for the opposition. Crazy thing about Portland was thousands of people showed up to do it.

[Amber]

I think I'd rather go on vacation with Toledo instead of going to Portland.

[John Holmberg]

This is. I know no one has said no, but look at the options that are presented in front of me. I'll go on vacation with Toledo. It's like the worst third bachelor in the dating game ever. I don't know. I'll go out with Toledo. I suppose you don't want to go to Portland and protest or go to like Ban Koo Chi with Toledo and eat duck heads. Yeah, I'll go with Toledo. I think that's a good idea too. Tour the Tokyo airport for two days and become. Yeah, no thanks.

[Brady]

Eat some slugs and palm leaves.

[Amber]

Yeah, it'd be better than this.

[John Holmberg]

Lick the sweat off of a ladyboy's thighs. Or Portland. I'm gonna go with Toled to suck a ladyboy dry. Or Portland. Let's see. Yeah, I'm gonna go out there and I'm just gonna open my mouth and take ladyboy crank for hours on end rather than watch port. And the thousands of people on these bikes, not one of them was even a five man or woman. They were all gross. And I'm like, do only the ugly.

[Brady]

That's brilliant marketing to keep you out. Keep you out of Portland.

[Amber]

It's Working.

[John Holmberg]

It works, man. Whatever they're for, I'm against free candy and pizza. I'm against it if we have to get it through naked bike rides. If it takes a naked bike ride. Whatever. A hundred dollars for everybody named John every day for the rest of their life. I'm against it. And all you have to do is get all the fat people in your town to ride a bike naked. No. No one I'll laugh at. Like, one Ralphie May on a bike without his clothes on. Hilarious. But thousands of them in the rain. Oh, the smell of all those musty, humid Portlandians. You should never be naked on a bike. You know how I watch? I survived a lot. And a few times, people, like, escape their captors, and the only thing they find is a diamondback in the front yard. Not the snake, but the bike. Like a kid's dirt bike or a Redliner mongoose. And they. And they have to ride away nude because they were violated in their house and they managed to bonk the dude in the head and run out. The best one I ever saw was a little girl who escaped her captors. This is the worst thing I've ever heard. These dudes take her in the woods and do whatever they do to people, and she gets out, they go to sleep, and she gets up, and she runs to the road naked, standing on the side of the road, flags down another car. Guy pulls over. He's like, what happened? She goes, oh, held captive in the woods. That's terrible. Get in. She gets in. He drives her in the woods and does it too.

[Amber]

Oh, man.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she's on TV telling her story. I'm like, that's just. That's just the worst day ever. Are you walking around with your hangnail going, this sucks? I don't think I'm gonna get any work done today. My tummy hurts, and I've got a hangnail. Ever hear Teresa's story about the rape in the woods and then the guy that saved her raped her, too? No, I haven't. I was too busy looking. What'd you say? I have a hangnail? I don't know. Let's ride around naked on bikes and make things change.

[Brady]

Downtown Portland, the outskirts, must be like, they must be moving the cattle today.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, smell. Oh, the smell of all that hairy Portland ass. And then the men riding bikes, too. It's got to just be awful.

[Amber]

Portland, worst of my videos.

[John Holmberg]

Portland, the Toledo of the. The rest of Oregon's really nice. Portland's crazy, and they think that. Has it ever worked in the past. Has anyone had anyone ever said, all right, enough. When whatever you ask for, you get. Just get off the bikes. Naked. We can't see Portland. It's never worked. It would have never happened if it wasn't for that. Naked bike ride is never a sentence anyone's ever said, ever.

[Brady]

It's like Escape from New York. You just keep out of downtown, kind of the outskirts.

[Amber]

Maybe Trump should send in the National Guard with clothes. Here, put this on. Put this on.

[John Holmberg]

He made me. Yeah, he. Yeah, it's like a goodwill National Guard. Put some tops on these people. I don't know man from woman. You know, they're the first ones that make me question gender. They are. They, thems. All of them. I think her pronouns are, she ate them because what a fat ass. Pigs. They're all fat. They're all gross. But I've never thought that before in my life. I'm like, jeez, I really want to get my way here. Maybe if I just rode around on my bicycle, naked people would give me things. Yeah, a punch to the face and a quick trip to the county jail. Put your clothes on, Portland. You make us sick. You think you represent any part of America. Unless that naked bike ride is to secede totally against whatever you guys were doing. Free candy for the rest of your lives. That's what we want. No, get. Put some clothes on. Get off your bikes.

[Amber]

Those pigs don't need any more candy.

[John Holmberg]

Well, no, Whatever the glorious thing is. Whatever.

[Brady]

Voodoo donuts.

[Amber]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Free health care for everyone. Like, nope. I want to pay top dollar for health care. If it means you guys ride around naked, that's top dollar for health care forever. How about free sweaters for fat pigs? I'll get on a bike for that. Disgusting. Portland is gross. Even deandre Ayton was like, this place sucks. Everybody here is weird. Like you, Deandre. The weeds. Good, but I got to get out of here. All right, the word is seat. That's the one you want to go to. Take our money. We've got loads of money for you. And you can take it in the app. But only in the app. Go to the app and get that done. And go scroll down there. Find six o', clock, seven o'. Clock. We'll give you another word. We'll make that happen. Right now we need you guys to use the text and email and all the stuff you normally do for Brett to get us a Wake up song. 585-9800 a good one. And we'll scream it together. It's 98 KUPD. Wake Up. It's out of control now. 98 KILPD.