10-15-25 - Praising The 6-7 Generation Of Idiot Kids For The Great AI Creations They Make - Storm Brought Down Cable Internet Lines At John's Rental - Emailer Yanis Asks If The Bruises On His Wife's Thighs Are From Mtn Biking Or Whoring

Summary

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Episode Overview

Title: Praising the 6-7 Generation Of Idiot Kids For The Great AI Creations They Make – Storm Brought Down Cable Internet Lines At John's Rental – Emailer Yanis Asks If The Bruises On His Wife's Thighs Are From Mtn Biking Or Whoring
Date: October 15, 2025
Podcast: Holmberg's Morning Sickness (98KUPD, Arizona)
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo

This episode humorously dissects the bizarre trends and behaviors of today’s young generation—namely their collective obsession with AI video creation, inside jokes like "6-7," and the generational disconnect about internet and social media behaviors. The hosts also share their trademark sharply comedic stories, tackle a listener’s scandalous email, and roast everything from parenting to customer service delays.

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Main Discussion Points

1. The Rise of the "6-7" Generation and Their AI Content

[00:44–16:13]

• John reflects on how he’s been critical of young people but admits awe at their inventive (and cruelly funny) AI-generated videos: “The second your little pricks got hold of AI, the first thing they did was beat up handicap people, tease fat people and make hellcat videos. Hilarious. Just.” – John ([02:04])
• The mystery and meaning behind “6-7” as a generational catchphrase:
  • The hosts note the prevalence of “6-7” as a watermark or meme within youth-created videos.
  • They observe that kids repeat it without knowing its origin, likening it to mindless groupthink or “mono-thought society” inspired by TikTok, referencing Orwell’s 1984.
  • “Sheep in line and they're worse than they've ever been. But they're making great AI.” – John ([04:19])
  • The likely origin (police code for “dead body”) and the meaningless repetition by kids.
• Satirical concern over youth culture becoming even more conformist, just following trends set by others or algorithms: “If I don't, I am not in line. If I don't, I am not one of them. Six, seven, six, seven. It's scary, but they're making great fat joke videos...” – John ([06:00])
• The hosts plot to ruin the phrase by making it uncool ("It's up to us to wreck it… once pop-pop starts saying 6, 7 to people, it's over." – John [06:51]).

Notable Quotes

• “Are you not entertained? Oh, my God, am I ever—put Stephen Hawking in more slap fights!” – John ([02:57])
• "All your children are to me are just little pieces of Instagram that walk around and show us something publicly that's not really who you really are." – John ([02:34])
• “They’re sheep in line…worse than they’ve ever been. But they’re making great AI.” – John ([04:19])
• “We have to make this uncool. Yeah, Brady, it’s up to you.” – John ([15:02])

2. Parenting, Technology, and the “Illusion” of Good Kids

[12:29–16:13]

• The eternal tension between parents believing in their "good kids" and the hosts’ skepticism:
  • Brady admits he and his wife don’t thoroughly check Kirby’s phone: “She’s handed [her phone] to me and… I’ve looked through some stuff which she’ll allow you to see, but…like a parent going through and let’s take a look at what you’re hiding here. She’s hiding something. She’s a teenage girl. She’s hiding something.” – John and Brady ([12:44])
  • Implication that every kid is hiding something online; parents just don’t want to know.
  • Comments on the new UK push to ban smacking children and its cultural effects.
• The “brain rot” of today’s youth driven by time on devices and AI-powered meme content.

Notable Quotes

• “Don’t wander around saying at all ever again: ‘My kid is not a bully and doesn’t see color and he’s really smart.’” – John ([14:09])
• “They don’t want to know. And that’s the problem. Exactly.” – John and Bret ([13:59])
• “If you’ve got a kid that says six-seven, you’ve got one of them. You got one of them that’s making those videos.” – John ([06:47])

3. Generational Gags and Roasting the Past

[06:00–10:09, 15:10–16:12]

• The crew compares current AI meme trends to older fads:
  • Nostalgia for “the African anteater dance in Can’t Buy Me Love” – cool trends now replaced by instantaneous, mindless digital mass trends.
  • Amusement (and horror) at how kids now repurpose icons from their parents’ generation in absurd, irreverent AI videos (e.g., Bob Ross, Mr. Rogers).

Notable Quotes

• “They also took our stuff…Bob Ross…Mr. Rogers…they absolutely nuked it.” – John ([15:15])

4. Internet Outage & Customer Service Nightmares

[18:09–22:24]

• John recounts the aftermath of a storm at his rental property, with cable lines down and the hassle of customer service:
  • John’s frustration at being told to wait nine days for repairs: “What world are you living in that anyone would say, that sounds great. I'll go without TV and Internet for nine days. I'd shrivel up and die.” ([21:05])
  • Humorous exchange about imaginary service upgrades and Discover Card perks.

Notable Quotes

• “I'd rather have a guy say, you can't eat for nine days than take away the Internet.” – John ([21:50])

5. Listener Email: "Bruises on My Wife's Thighs – Mountain Biking or Whoring?"

[22:24–35:47]

• Emailer “Giannis” asks if thigh bruises are a normal result of mountain biking or a sign his wife is cheating.
  • The hosts riff on the likelihood: significant bruising on thighs alone is highly suspect.
  • Only massive falls or unusual riding positions would result in such injuries—otherwise, the cause is likely less innocent.
  • John jokes, “If you have a bunch of bruises on your thighs, let me introduce you to your new best friend, Keyshawn, because that’s what's going on at your place.” ([23:35])
  • The hosts improvise a drawn-out, ludicrous radio soap opera scenario involving “Rico,” “Keyshawn,” and puns about “riding” and “cream pies.”
  • Accepting photo submissions (with a caveat: no “big fatty thighs” shots, please).
  • Consensus: multiple bruises on thighs point away from basic biking and toward more salacious activities.

Notable Quotes

• "Is it from biking? No. Is she a whore? Likely. She's a whore." – John ([28:44])
• “Don’t take her word for it is what I’m saying.” – John ([28:33])
• “If she’s not coming back going, man, I had a hell of a crash and the bike tangled up and I got banged around… then you’d be like, yeah, handprints on her ass.” – John ([25:36])

6. Signature Banter, Insults & Radio Gags

Throughout

• The crew’s irreverence, sarcasm, and their self-awareness about ruffling feathers.
• Several riffs on the futility of arguing with kids, the inevitable parental denial, and advice on “ruining” youth trends by making them uncool.
• Signature signoffs and teases for the next segment.

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Memorable Moments & Quotes with Timestamps

• "Are you not entertained? Oh, my God, am I ever—put Stephen Hawking in more slap fights!" – John [02:57]
• "They’re sheep in line…worse than they’ve ever been. But they’re making great AI." – John [04:19]
• "All your children are to me are just little pieces of Instagram that walk around and show us something publicly that's not really who you really are." – John [02:34]
• “If you’ve got a kid that says six-seven, you’ve got one of them. You got one of them that’s making those videos.” – John [06:47]
• "If you have a bunch of bruises on your thighs, let me introduce you to your new best friend, Keyshawn, because that’s what's going on at your place." – John [23:35]
• "I'd rather have a guy say, you can't eat for nine days than take away the Internet." – John [21:50]
• “Don't wander around saying at all ever again: ‘My kid is not a bully and doesn't see color and he’s really smart.’” – John [14:09]

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Key Timestamps for Important Segments

| Time | Segment / Highlight | |---------|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:44 | John's opening about AI videos & "6-7" catchphrase | | 02:34 | Commentary on youth's fake personas and secret online lives | | 04:19 | Origins and mindlessness of "6-7"; groupthink, sheep analogy | | 12:44 | Brady's confession regarding not really checking Kirby's phone; parental blind spots | | 14:09 | Rant about illusion of good children in the digital age | | 18:09 | Story about storm-caused cable outage and customer service ordeal at John’s rental | | 22:24 | Listener "Giannis" email about wife’s thigh bruises; comedic investigation begins | | 23:35 | “Keyshawn” and “Rico” bits – comedic escalation | | 25:36 | Why thigh bruises from biking are suspect; hands-on analysis | | 29:26 | Final verdict: the likely sordid explanation for the bruises |

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Tone and Style

The show remains true to its brand: sarcastic, crass, quick-witted, and unsparingly blunt. John leads most of the irreverent humor, with the rest of the crew chiming in with stories, banter, and one-liners. They poke fun at themselves, their generation, today’s kids, clueless parents, and anything else in their view.

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Summary for New Listeners

This episode is a prime example of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness at its best: rapid-fire wit, playful generational warfare, and the ability to riff endlessly (and shamelessly) on almost any topic. Whether marveling at the dark creativity of the “idiot” youth and their AI abominations or breaking down an incredulous email about marital trust and “biking bruises,” the crew brings equal parts mockery and (reluctant) admiration.

Listeners unfamiliar with the show will get a crash course in the hosts’ chemistry, their take-no-prisoners humor, and their unique approach to dissecting both personal and cultural absurdities.

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Transcript

[A]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[B]

Morning sickness. Good morning, everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Wednesday. It is 5:45. It's the morning sickness. I almost threw up. I got a little deep on that one. Made my throat choke. This is the morning sickness. My name's John. Hi. There's Brady, there's Brett. There's Big Dick Toledo. And off we're going for the Morning Sings. I just want to say thank. You know, I've been. Brett, you and I have been a little harsh on the kids of the generation now.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And, yeah, we think they suck. But you know what we don't get? Like, this morning, my legs fell asleep. I came here, got here at the regular time, went into my office, and I had to pee. So I do as I normally do to. He's all, you must. It's cleaner. I sat down to urinate and opened up the phone real quick and I sat on the toilet for like five minutes after a pee, just watching Stephen Hawking get the crap kicked out of him over and over. I can't get enough of it. And then someone else had sent me something, and I just got it again, thanks to. Who was it who gave me that? Joey Ramirez. Joey. It's gigantic fat people in Olympic events. Breaking stuff.

[C]

Oh, have you seen the downhill one?

[B]

Oh, my God, yes. And it's the one that they're just. They were racing, but all of them were rolling. I was. Thank God. I was on the toilet. I was peeing while I was.

[C]

She's off track.

[B]

So they. The one that did the balance beam. I've seen that a few times where she's a gymnast. That one right there. Oh, Brady's got. Brady had it. Yeah. So I have to say that over the last. I don't know. What am I, 53 years? I guess I'll say. I've just hated your kids. And because you lie about them and you talk about like, oh, no, my kid doesn't drink, or my kid would never. And they don't. They're not racist and they're not mean and they don't body shame. The second your little pricks got hold of AI, the first thing they did was beat up handicap people, tease fat people and make hellcat videos. Hilarious. Just.

[A]

It's.

[B]

Yeah, they're there. The big. I mean, all they did was take, you know, the clumps basically from Eddie Murphy movies and put them in positions to ruin things. It is Absolutely. Awesome. And I thank you. And before you start defending your crappy kids, it's them. It's Mr. Rogers. Look, Mr. Rogers and Tupac fighting Charles Manson. I cannot get enough of it. And then at the end when they're going, six, seven, six, seven, It's a dead giveaway that it's your jackass kids. It's a dead giveaway that you're non shaming. All your children are to me are just little pieces of Instagram that walk around and show us something publicly that's not really who you really are. They're just putting on a false front to go make fun of fat people and be racist in their bedrooms and then put 6, 7 on it. So the second they do it. I know, but to their credit, I am. It begs the question, like a Roman emperor, are you not entertained? Oh, my God, am I ever put Stephen Hawking in more slap fights? Because the one where the dude just finished him in one punch and the crowd, whoever the kid was who made the crowd go, oh. And then one guy in the back goes, yeah, six, seven. And I'm like, it's them. It's them. A lot of people don't know what I'm talking about when I say six, seven. But when you watch videos, it's the watermark of this jackass generation. They don't know what it means.

[C]

Such a boon to be in it. You know how many 6, 7 jerseys have been sold this year?

[B]

It's insane.

[C]

Crazy.

[B]

Here's the thing, though. This proves your kids are brainless. They don't know why they're saying it. Right? They ask it. Brady, you said you had that talk with Kirby and her friend last night. They were laughing. They don't know why they're saying it, but they're saying it, which makes them. Exactly. I know everybody overuses this. Exactly what big brother wanted. Just, I do this, you now will follow. Don't ask questions. Follow. Say six, seven. It's cool. And they all do it. They don't know why they're doing it. They're sheep in line and they're worse than they've ever been. But they're making great AI.

[A]

What does it mean then? Because I don't pay attention to kids anyway.

[B]

Because it's been in a few songs and whatever. Six, seven. Supposedly, if you ask cops, the code for a 1067 is we got a dead body. Okay, so that's where they think it is.

[D]

Like a 420.

[B]

Well, 420, yeah. 420 is very real. And Like a, you know.

[D]

But they close any conversation. They actually, the kids. Well, at least Kirby and her friend though, they're talking about. They laugh at it. They'll throw it out there.

[B]

Or one of the friends will just.

[D]

Close a conversation with 6, 7.

[B]

If you're a parent.

[A]

Well, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

That part starts pissing me off against. Makes me start hating them again. But trust me, the videos that they're bringing our way, and you and I are really swimming in these right now. Because you and I share. Yes, because six, seven is them. We wouldn't do it. Nobody over the age of 25 would do it because it's stupid. But this is a group of sheeple that. That don't even know why they say 6 7. But they do because the other ones are. And we young people have always been followers, never to this degree. And it started. It's China, I'm telling you. Start turning to Alex Jones here in a second. China's got your kids brains. Remember 10 years ago when we're like, where's the creativity in just doing the same dance everyone else did? And that's what TikTok said. Hey, kids, here's the dance we do. Go watch the movie Big Brother. When Big Brother came on TV and went. And you wouldn't understand it, and then everybody'd start doing the same dance and then they'd start doing a new dance and they all did the same exact things over.

[D]

That was happening before.

[B]

Never to the degree of where computers were telling you to do it. Never to the degree of hand devices added to it. It created new stuff before it's like, oh, Rich is doing a dance. Maybe I should learn that. Is that cool? Now it's like, if I don't, I am not in line. If I don't, I am not one of them. Six, seven, six, seven. It's scary, but they're making great fat joke videos and then walking around going, oh, you don't make fun of people. No bullying, no bullying. And that. All they do on their computers is sit there and their little devil horns pop out and their claws shoot out and they make horrible videos, horrible things. And they're horrible little lying brains just so their parents can act like they're not bad. If you've got a kid that says six seven, you got one of them. You got one of them that's making those videos.

[D]

I can't now start doing it all the time.

[B]

Yeah, of course you are because that'll ruin it. So it's up to us to wreck it. And once Pop pop starts saying 6, 7 to people. It's over.

[C]

Once Brady, same thing with skibidi toilet.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. What the hell? Skibidi toilet. Glizzy. Once Brady brought glizzy to this party. Well, that's, that's closing that shop up. Close that up. Yeah, yeah. He said, remember in 1984 in Georgia Orwell when he actually says everyone dance like a monkey and they just start doing it and it isn't about like before when you would do it at a dance. If you told two kids, it's like, oh, we're all dancing like a monkey. They would just start doing it like, I cannot be the out. I must blend. I am, I am in a mono thought society. And they are. It's weird. And it's the computer that does it. But again, if it's going to bring me Stephen Hawking and fat people doing Olympic events, I'll take your stupid kids. I think they're awesome. I just don't want them in my house, that's all. I had a guy asked me that the other day, he said, hey, is the Steeler bar open on a lot of people? Just act like it's open, it's bring him one by. And he said, all right, so do you mind if I bring my 13 year old kid? And I'm like, is he A or a C word? And. And he's like, no. All right, well I'll be the judge of that. But if he starts around my house, you gotta go, oh, okay. And then another one of my friends has adopted a child and he said, we'll bring it. It was great because he goes, I'll bring him by one of these days. And the whole room just went, oh, he's so excited. And it's great for him. He's got a adopted. But everybody comes, oh, all right, I guess we'll take a look at it. It's like, can you leave it in the driveway? When you bring kids to a party, make it like a new car so we can take a look at it and then just walk away from it. You don't bring it in the house. Kids are like cars. You leave them in the garage and you don't bring them in somebody else's house. Park them out in the road and we'll be back in a couple hours and then give them an iPad and tell them about Mr. Rogers and then let them do AI videos and six, seven, the hell out of that. That's awesome. Says my kids are doing the same idiotic trap. Six, seven, just a portion of this bs. They say it's called brain rot. And I couldn't think of a more fitting name because that's exactly what's happening. They are rotten up top. That's true. This says, jordan waking up aggressive this morning. Says, six seven plus two is six nine. And then he called me a homo. F word. No reason. But yeah, yeah. Remember the African anteater dance and can't buy me love? Yes, Ryan brings that up. It was just the cool. But that was back at least when it was the coolest kid in school. For a second doing something, I was like, oh, my God. And it was a symbol, like, everybody likes you. You're an influencer. That was like one. Now everybody is. I can't wait to see what happens next. But these little. These little weirdo kids of yours are. I got to. I got to pull back a little bit on the mean because if they're bringing us this, I am thrilled with them.

[A]

Maybe you should have one.

[B]

I'm going to strike you dead with that. With even saying that. I'm going to strike you down. I will call on all giving them too much credit. That's all I'm saying. I'm giving them credit. Funny. All right, but that's it. I'm giving him carried away. He's not wrong. But I'm not saying I like them. I'm saying I like that you that their parents think my angel would never. They're all bad bullies. They're all that. And none of you will admit they just passed a law or trying to pass a law in England that bans all smacking of children. What all like, not even, like, across the. Michael Caine was on it, which is why I was interested in seeing. You can't smack the kids. They just sex years old, starts freaking out this whole thing. And I'm like, based. And they said, there's no smacking of any child. They have the same protection as they. As you would any adult you just walked up and hit. And then it said, with the exception of cases of valuable punishment. And I'm like, well, who's going to determine that? And it would be the magistrate or the government. But they're trying to do it. That's the reason America's kids are such jackasses and running around saying, six, seven, because nobody ever gives them a whack. They all think that, you know, we got a fentanyl problem. But not one parent you ask is ever like, oh, not my kid. I know her friends might, but not mine. They're all doing it, assume they're all doing it, Give them a whack in the back of the head, knock the fentanyl out of their pockets. And then six, seven. That was.

[A]

Sean Connery was still around to answer that question.

[B]

Sometimes they just want the last word and you have to. You have to end the conversation physically. You're going to get a lot of mail, said Barbara Walters. I'm going to get a lot of female, said Sean Connery. And the interview ended. Awesome. Oh, he's good. Yeah. So thanks. Thanks to your dumb kids home, morning sickness. Countless amount of times I hear people say that Brady's. Brady's probably the only one that it's actually legitimate with outside of the pot use that. Kirby's not on it, but she's probably on AI just making roly poly fat people doing Olympic things. You wouldn't even know it. You wouldn't know how she's. You can barely work the computer here. Imagine how far ahead of you she is on an iPad.

[D]

Have you even tried Gems?

[C]

Have you even tried to toss her phone? I would love to see you trying to toss it.

[B]

You'd have to ask her how to get into it to toss. Yeah. You've never tossed her phone, have you?

[D]

No.

[B]

Really? Not once?

[D]

No. I mean, she's handed to me and.

[B]

I've looked through some stuff which she'll allow you to see, but you've never tossed it. Like a parent going through and let's take a look at what you're hiding here. She's hiding something. She's a teenage girl. She's hiding something.

[C]

Don't do it. It'll blow your whole world up.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, can you imagine? I can't. You've done it.

[C]

Oh, that's how BBC started.

[B]

That's right. Your kid put BBC videos in there. Not the British no channel. The big black C words. And he had him in his phone sharing those. Toledo probably up to that point. Was like my kid would never ever. Then you see it. You're like, oh, no, I've got one. I got one of those.

[C]

That was the talk. It was eighth grade and he came home from school. What the F is on your phone? It wasn't me. It was Braden. He sent it in a group chat.

[B]

Yeah. It's terrifying.

[D]

Didn't it come out like the. Oh, there's monitor. The screen that was on the kitchen.

[A]

The.

[D]

Yeah. It's like going through photos.

[C]

Oh, no, he's not attached to that. Jesus.

[B]

Does Ronnie go through Kirby's phone?

[D]

Yeah, she puts the.

[B]

But does she smackdown. Go through it or just like look at text and stuff. I mean, like, this belongs to me.

[A]

Parents don't want to know.

[B]

They don't want to know. And that's the problem. Exactly.

[C]

They don't want to bliss in that too.

[B]

Yeah, I'm sure.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

But at the same time, you gotta know what's. What's going on.

[B]

But don't. Don't wander around saying at all ever again. My kid is not a bully and doesn't see color and he's really smart and it's like he's. He's got a guarantee of his text and his. His Instagram and everything else.

[D]

The biggest concern.

[B]

All full of fat people doing Olympic events. All of it.

[D]

The amount of time on it.

[B]

Well, the biggest concern.

[D]

It's a hard one.

[B]

You know, for what they're doing with.

[C]

That amount of time should be content.

[B]

Yeah. The content during that amount of time. That, that.

[C]

That derives from the amount of time they.

[B]

It. Because if you ever say. What do you look at on there? Oh, just dance videos and a lot of homework and like liars. Liar. Six, seven. And I know six, seven is just a passing fancy, but it's. It's pretty retarded. So my. This guy says, my nieces say that six, seven crap all the time. Thankfully, they're not mine. And they leave say it back to them over and over. Adults. It's just. We have to make this uncool. Yeah, Brady, it's up to you.

[D]

You can destroy it in a week. Yeah, we're doing it right now.

[B]

Yeah, six, seven, we get it. Yo, players.

[D]

You're going to crash out.

[B]

That's right. No, Cap, I'm saying six, seven. I like it. But keep up the crappy mean videos, you guys, because that's right in my wheelhouse. And I think it's awesome that your parents think you're nice. None of you are. It's great. And I like that they also took our stuff. I mean, well, Bob Ross. Oh, Mr. Rogers. They got mom and dad's childhood and they absolutely nuked it.

[D]

That's why.

[B]

Terrible video.

[D]

Toss her phone. Yeah, all this good content that's coming out the video.

[B]

Well, you don't need to stop that.

[D]

Pops gets a little confusing. Like, is that AI?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You just don't know because it's Macho Man. Randy Savage. That's what you don't want to believe.

[B]

It's macho man and Mr. Rogers. And they're. They're. They're dumb about history, but they know what makes Mom and dad go, aww. But, yeah, you know, you don't have to stop the AI videos, and I know you don't, but you don't want to find out. Just. You make Ronnie do that. I can't imagine you finding anything you wouldn't. You just. You hang yourself from a sturdy.

[D]

That's a good one.

[B]

Yeah. Your Sturdy Beam. If you found out that Kirby's behind all these hate videos. I just want a free Palestine, man. Kirby, then why are you freeing Palestine so much? On Instagram? Oppressed people, man. It's.

[D]

The Jews walk into a room and there's storyboards. It's Hitler.

[B]

Yeah. I wonder how many times Brady walks in the room. Dinner's ready. Hey, man, I'm making a video in here. Get out.

[C]

I'm in the studio, man.

[B]

I can't see the wall. I'm in my beat lab, man. Get out. Yeah, I'm sorry, Mrs. Bogan. There's no way you would want to see what she's doing at all. You keep believing she's an angel. They're all angels. And you kids keep doing those videos. 602. It's time for one of them words. Oh, get on there or take it in the app today. The first word today, 6:00am Code word six, seven, is no, no, no, don't do that. You'll confuse them. Is row. Row or rally. British. Yeah. It's a fight in England. It's row here, Rao Row. Get on it, and you can put it in the little promo code right there. It's six o'. Clock. You go to the app, you knock that thing down, you put your little finger on top of the. Take it in the app promo. Boom. You got to scroll down. You'll figure it out. I'm talking to Larry yesterday about that. You guys are blowing up the app. It is a lot of people participating, and that's how it works. A couple of days for now, we'll give somebody a thousand bucks. Just.

[C]

Are we winning? Are we winning yet?

[B]

Yeah, duh, Duh.

[A]

We were getting a few people yesterday saying they would say it was, you know, it wasn't working. Just keep putting it in because you guys are blowing it up so much. Just keep trying.

[B]

For some reason, all of our stuff has, like, a limit of people. And then once we hit it, it starts glitching.

[A]

It's one step above our phones.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, I went over to the rental property yesterday. See the damage of the storm, and my. All the lines from the house to the power lines were laying in the backyard, not the Power lines themselves, but like cable and all that. The safe ones that you can touch, not the high ones. And like. Oh, wow. So there's no Internet. I called up yesterday. Jesus Christ, slow down. My name is Roger. No, it's not. Your name is not anywhere near Roger. What can I do for you? And I'm like, I got power lines or cable lines or something. I don't know what's in my backyard, but laying all over there was a. What do you think caused it? I'm like a giant storm. Awesome inclement weather. Yeah, you don't live here, do you? Guess too, Roger? And he goes, okay, we can have someone come out there and fix this and my guy, that'd be great. And he goes, what does your schedule like? So no good in the mornings, but I'll make. I'll make good for you in the middle of the afternoon if I can. Okay, how does the 24th look? I'm like, like absolute. I want this fixed now. 24th? You guys promise Internet speeds through the moon and you can't get here for nine days? Oh, let me take a look here. What are you doing? In an hour I'll be at a sun's game. Okay, well then the Friday is the best I can do. I'm sorry. Are you coming over, Roger? Oh, sir, no, no, no, no, no, no. I am miles away.

[A]

Sure you didn't say his name was Raja?

[B]

Yeah, maybe the 24th. 24th? How dare you even offer that in this day and age. A service appointment nine days from now?

[D]

They throw it out there.

[B]

You out of your mind? You shouldn't even be scheduling that far in advance. The 24th. Hire more people and get somebody over to my house to plug this thing back in. 24th, I. Have you not been on the Internet? It's amazing. I can't go nine days. I'm not even there much. But if I went over there. Come on. I've got no Internet video.

[C]

Two weeks of credit, right?

[B]

Might as well be a cave without the Internet.

[A]

Well, I mean, you know.

[B]

Well, Bin Laden had a cave and he had Internet. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Nine days. Don't when I call you and say I need something. How about that? In 10 or 11 days. Are you out of your mind? You're going to make me like a kid waiting for Christmas.

[A]

If you signed up for Discover Card, he probably would have got you in a little bit faster.

[B]

There is a way we can do this, my friend. Are you a Discover Card holder?

[D]

Because some service.

[B]

If you have the concierge package to Discover Card. I could have a service technician to your door in minutes. So I got to get a Discover card and sign up for yes. And you get all the fine treatment of the worst possible places in airports that Discover A Card will allow you in. You can use the public restrooms. All right, sign me up. Okay, I can be there in an hour. But nine days? What world are you living in that anyone would say, that sounds great. I'll go without TV and Internet for nine days. I'd shrivel up and die. I'd rather have a guy say, you can't eat for nine days than take away the Internet. And it's only at a part time place that I go check out every once in a while. I'm not even if that was my actual home. Are you out of your mind? Nine days I go 10 minutes without TV and it's like, well, this is no good. I gotta call some people. Six, seven. I say, now that guy says, that's six, seven crap. The Gilbert moms that say their kids are perfect. It's like the bishop saying his daughter's not a. Yeah, that is true. It's religious. Parents always say, oh, not my daughter. She was raised right. She gets pregnant when she's 15. Every time. Bender from Futurama was right. Says quote, have you tried just sitting down with your kids, turned off the electronics and hitting them that way? That's true. You give them a punch without their electronics, let them know, good luck, England, with your son. Six, seven, keep doing it. So but the funny thing was, is that Roger got me. Would you like the 24th? I'm like, I can't. That's impossible. No. Okay, how about Friday? And I'm like, that's better. It's still unreasonable when you think about it. Had he started with Friday, I'd be equally as upset as I would with the 24th. But simply cutting off a few days made me seem like Roger was making moves.

[D]

Worked.

[B]

It did work. I'm like, ah, I see what you did here. You set that bar so low that anything better than the 24th was gonna seem like a gift. I'm on to you, Roger. Now here's a good one right here. And keep in mind, again, the word is row if you're British. It's pronounced Rao, R, O, W. This one is awesome. I got this email from a guy named Giannis. I don't know if that's his real name, but that's what he said. Not like Giannis Antistokounfo. Either with a Y or, I guess, a J, depending on where you're from. It says, hey, Holmberg, my wife has bruises all over her thighs. I saw them yesterday. She says it's from mountain biking because she just started doing that. I know you like to do that. Does it bruise your thighs, or is my wife a whore? Have you ever had bruised thighs? I haven't. I don't think my thighs have bruised.

[A]

Once when I wrecked.

[B]

Well, right.

[A]

If she wrecked, she's wrecking.

[B]

But even still, if you've got.

[A]

Or she's getting wrecked.

[B]

Yeah, that's what I found. You don't. You can't land on your thighs.

[A]

No, but I've had the bike crank into you.

[B]

If you crash, you'll get a bruise on your thighs.

[A]

Yeah. Not multiple.

[B]

If you have a bunch of bruises on your thighs, let me introduce you your new best friend, Keyshawn, because that's what's going on at your place. So I would say, as a guy who mountain bikes, Brett's done it as well. And I've watched Brett take a seat post in the balls harder than anyone I've ever watched. Ever.

[C]

No.

[B]

Bruised going one mile an hour. Oh, no. His inner throat bruised from his nuts hitting his esophagus. The back of the bike jumped up and hit him in the nuts. Like it was planning it. Yeah, it was.

[C]

And you saw that.

[B]

Oh, right behind me.

[A]

Right by me.

[B]

Yeah. Holmberg's morning sickness. It was like watching one of his videos, I thought. I honestly thought Brett was going to pull his pants down. You'd see one blown up in the bag. It was like, I thought for sure you pancaked one of those ones that stops you. Oh. I was like, oh, you all right? Brett's like, no, God damn it. That was brutally funny to watch. And that was on that horrible hill we have a nickname for.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Were we going up or down? We were going up because it does.

[A]

Have that real sharp right.

[B]

Switchback.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And then the switchback, there's this big rock, and you gotta get your front tire up on it and stand up a little bit, then lean and get the rest of the bike going. And he hit that rock with the back tire, and that bike went whoop, boom. Just. I mean, it's like, we're not doing this today. And, I mean, his nuts. You could hear his nuts going as they're, like, in his pants before the seat hit.

[C]

Like that grape lady.

[B]

Yeah. Like it knocked the wind out of his nuts.

[A]

Could have called me Sir Nuts a lot that day, because oh, man.

[B]

In his pants. You heard nuts gasping for air. And I don't know that you got thigh bruises from that. No, no, but that's what's happening to your wife. She's getting seat posted real hard where her nuts would be.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

You don't get thighs all bruised up from a bike ride or you're doing it wrong.

[A]

One, one little bruise. One time the seat jacked when I fell, but that was it.

[B]

Yeah. If you fall off, but then you've got like cuts on your hand. Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

You're also getting bruised, damaged everywhere else. Yeah.

[B]

I've never had thigh bruises from just a bike ride. If she's not coming back going, man, I had a hell of a crash and the bike tangled up and I got banged around and she got scratches on her arms. Then you'd be like, yeah, handprints on her ass. But yeah, yeah. Yana says, yeah. Does she have a. And that's what. When the guy picked me up, someone helped me. Yeah. Smacked me in the ass and made. I got a tattoo of it. Yeah. I think your wife might be, for whatever reason, lying about bruises on her thighs. I can't even imagine why you have surprise bruises on your thighs. That ain't from bike riding. She's. She's a whore. To answer your question, you asked, is this real or is she a whore? I'm going to go ahead and say she probably out there banging around out there on the trail. You ready to ride, baby girl? Oh, Rico, you're not playing it, are you? Oh, you are, you son of a. Oh, baby, guess what? What is it, Rico. Shoot, girl. Oh, Rico. Blaze forgot his bicycle again. Looks like you're gonna have to ride something else. Oh, Rico. Sorry about all that bruises, baby. Is this gonna be, you know, my 10 foot pole poking you from way over here on my bicycle Built for two. We don't have a bike.

[D]

Oh, that's right.

[B]

I guess this bike just built for you. What'll I tell my husband about the bruises? I don't know. I don't talk to your husband. That's up to you. But it's tube time, baby. I think mine's deflated. You should blow it up. Oh, Rico's got a flat. I'll do it myself. Say, honey, what's with all the bruises all over bike riding? Bike riding? How come there's an RB bruise? Oh, he's very specific. Must be in the logo on the seat. I guess I branded your. Yeah, sorry. Honest. You got some more questions with your lady friend? Send us the bruises. I think maybe that'll answer the question. Send us and ask. And look at her arms because her. That's the key to a bike crash. You will definitely have scratches. Depending on what you may. She might just be trail riding and then he'd never get her bruised. But if she's actually mountain biking and yeah, they're not getting trail riding, you're.

[A]

Still not getting bruised. Unless her thighs are so huge they're just rubbing raw on the seat.

[B]

Is she a big faster.

[D]

She could be huge gravel in the skin, road rash. Like if you went down.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

You're not just getting thigh bruises. There's something else going on there. Don't take her word for it is what I'm saying. But centrally D. Toledo at [e-mail] Giannis and send over pictures of your hopefully in shape wife thigh bruises. And if it's a big fatty, then.

[A]

God, you gotta zoom out. Please don't. Don't send it.

[B]

I don't know what happens to big fatty thighs. Those things probably bruise pretty easily because the body's just quitting. I don't know how it works.

[D]

The poor bike I've seen, they just explode.

[B]

Yeah, six' seven. On the AI videos I watch, the bike just crumbles underneath them and then they sit on it like and look around. I like that. When the fat people in the AI videos crash, they're never hurt. They just kind of like roll around for a second. They're never like injured. And that makes me laugh harder. Oh, how I do love those AI videos. Anyway, so yeah, Giannis is having a tough morning.

[A]

That's.

[B]

And he asked us. Probably came to the wrong place. I don't know why we're truthful. Well, because we're gonna give you the answer you don't want to. But he asked, is she. Is it a problem with biking? The answer is no. But then his only other option was, is she a whore? I don't know what she's doing with her time. I don't know. She. If she's just picked up mountain biking, she's probably doing something else, like active.

[D]

But initially start out mountain biking. It's a woman. There's going to be some falling.

[B]

I mean, but again, you have no bruises on your arms. If she's just fallen on her thighs, that's almost impossible. I challenge anyone to just fall on your thighs right now, crash, and come up with only thigh injuries. It's impossible. Where are they? Outer or inner thighs.

[D]

Because if she went over the handlebars.

[B]

They should go over the handlebars, baby. I'll be there to catch it. Hey, there's probably on. There's probably five bruises per thigh and that's. Don't fingerprint those because that's why I grabbed the. And open it up. You know what I'm saying? That's my fingers. Very strong. Very, very strong. I'm gonna make a video you can go to. What was my name again? These Nuts or something like that. I forgot, sir.

[A]

Nuts A Lot.

[B]

So Nuts A Lot. I'm sorry. That's right. I forgot the thing that got me fired from the police force. So Nuts A Lot has videos of all your bruised up wives. If they fat and blonde, I've got them on there. And then what's your wife? What's the man's name? Giannis. Oh, that's right. I know his wife. Her name is Tire Pump. Because the girl blows like no business, baby. I like it. All right, don't worry about it. You can call the police and I'll show up. And when you call the police and I'm there, the cops come two times. All right? Yeah, she's riding RICO on the trails. Be careful. Sorry, Giannis, but thanks for asking. We really appreciate it. It's good stuff. Oh, I can't send this. Are you sure?

[A]

That one's fine. This other one we print. I don't think you're gonna be able to read it.

[B]

Mike says that poor bastard, he probably spent a ton of money on a nice bike for. And she's just pedaling her ass to get kicked down by the neighbors. Yeah, gotta go.

[A]

This one I don't think we'll read.

[B]

Okay. No.

[D]

But it's still funny.

[B]

All right, that's enough of that guy. The name that of that emailer is Showtime Shane Gerald Matos. You're banned from society, Gerald. That's just wrong. Yeah. Where's Showtime Shane when we need him? Where's. Where's the innocuous Showtime?

[D]

Change knocked him out like six, seven.

[B]

Where's John Eaton? With a reasonable explanation of why a woman can have thigh bruises without any other bruises. Yeah, I can't imagine that. I've never had.

[C]

Just like John Eaton knows no woman.

[B]

You don't think John Eaton's ever been with a woman? Yeah, you're probably right. He would have to explain too much. It would be never ending.

[D]

He should go riding with her next time then.

[B]

Maybe she's doing it wrong.

[A]

Oh, God, no.

[B]

Yeah, I don't ride with a woman. No, it's awful. Although I did Think that once I was riding and this guy came up with, like, on the top of the hill, he had his name on his bike and a little USA flag. And he's like, I've been following you. You're doing great today. And I'm like, thanks. Throwing your tire, he says. And I'm like, oh, okay. And then he goes, I used to ride for the US Team. This dude was. You've been with, like, magic dudes. The, like, the guys up at Action Ride Shot. It's a level. You can't imagine how easy it looks for them. I look like someone's trying to remove my lungs by hand. Every. And I've been doing it for a long time. I still always look like I'm dying while I do it. So we're riding along and he teams up with this other person. He's, like, showing me little tricks, and I'm like, that's kind of a cool little tiny adjustment. I didn't know. And this girl comes up, and he goes, hey, you want to ride with him? Like, oh, great. Day's over. This chick was better than both of us. Like, she was just tearing this. It was unreal what she was capable of jumping and flying around. And I'm like, you're great at this. So I gotta say, Bruises. She was unbruised. But maybe Giannis's wife is just. She's new to it. Maybe she's just. Maybe she likes the seat banging into her, so she's. I don't know. That's hard to do. Thigh bruises don't come easy. You got to work for those. So Johnny talked about it the other day. You sure it's not that gray skin that tubbies get on the inside thighs from rubbing together? Yeah. Is it bruising or is she callousing her big, fat thighs? You have to send us pictures of how big your wife is. Or not.

[C]

Chafing.

[B]

If she's in good shape. Giannis, we're going to go with your second option of whore if she's fat, eventually. All that riding. Yeah, she could bruise up pretty easily, and it'll turn that grayish purple the.

[A]

Next one describes It Sounds like this.

[B]

Guy needs to go down there and investigate and see if there's Little Debbie's down there. Yeah, Jason, I think Little Debbie is a dead giveaway beyond there. Cream pies. What?

[D]

The.

[B]

Hungry keep them. Giannis, you keep cream pies in there when you bike ride? You need sustenance. Oh, Christ.

[D]

She fell on the box.

[B]

Where's the oatmeal? Part. How come it's just all cream pie? I eat the oatmeal parts and I save the rest for later in there. Yeah, I'll believe you this time. Not much of a story. Yeah. Search for cream pies is always. You know, I gotta say, if you're doing a cream pie examination, if you're doing a Little Debbie's examination on anyone you care about, you probably need to walk away from that relationship. All right, let's take a look. See if there's any cream pie activity here that isn't mine.

[A]

Wonder what trail she's riding. Keyshawn Trail.

[B]

Yeah, Danny, could be anything. Anyway, if she asked you to go.

[A]

On a Carnival cruise this year for vacation, then you know.

[B]

Because she got a free ticket. Me and the girls are gonna go. Maybe. Showtime. Shane says I'm a little busy with a crazy storm that happened, so I got work to do. I'm also busy bruising that guy's wife's thighs. All right, well, that's not nice.

[D]

He's back.

[B]

Sorry I couldn't get back to you. I was bruising giannis's wife's thighs. 6, 7, let's get a Wake up song 5, 8, 5, 9, 8, 0, 0 a good one and we'll scream it together it's 98 KUPD. Wake up.

[C]

It'S out of control now.