10-17-25 - FULL SHOW - FRIDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – 10-17-25 FULL SHOW SUMMARY

Podcast: Holmberg’s Morning Sickness (98 KUPD, Arizona)
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Special Guest: Ian Bagg (comedian)
Air date: October 17, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode blends acerbic sports talk, local Arizona color, irreverent political/social banter, and dark comedy, all delivered with the classic Morning Sickness edge. The gang goes deep on last night’s NFL action (particularly John’s Steelers), talks gambling and jinxes, riffs on government “declassified” videos, and dives headlong into the cultural spectacle of “No Kings” marches sprawling across Arizona. Guest Ian Bagg serves up wild comedy and shares personal stories, and the crew closes out with riffs on everything from restaurant health code violations to the best way to conduct backyard colonoscopies.

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Major Discussion Points & Notable Segments

1. Steelers, Thursday Night Football & Betting Misery

Timestamps: 00:45–06:55

• John’s Steelers Pain: John laments the Steelers being “Flaccoed” (after Ravens QB Joe Flacco), turning the player's name into a verb for getting unexpectedly beaten.
• Sports Betting Trends: The hosts discuss how Thursday night road teams almost never cover the spread—"83% of teams...did not cover the spread" ([03:31]). John and Brady recap their FanDuel picks and the Bengals covering as underdogs.
• Football Superstition & Jinxes: John needles Toledo for “jinxing” his Mariners after Toledo bought potential World Series tickets, drawing out the recurring bit about gambling and sports heartbreak.

“You get flaccoed, and then you flacco yourself. I like making that a verb.” —John [06:12]

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2. Dreams, Jinxes, and “Flaccoed” Anxiety

Timestamps: 07:00–11:19

• John recounts a “vivid dream” where Joe Flacco appears at the radio station and fires him, highlighting his obsession and anxiety over football outcomes and his own job security.
• Brady and John riff on the dreamy details—the endless negotiations, surreal transitions, and John’s waking confusion.

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3. Night-Vision Explosions, Military Videos & Declassified Drama

Timestamps: 11:19–17:59

• John and Brady discuss viral “declassified” military footage of U.S. night-vision explosions, particularly American strikes on Venezuelan drug boats.
• They joke darkly about the morality and PR risks of such videos, riffing on possible survivor stories (“We’re just fishermen!”) as a future backfire.
• Historical aside: Reagan-era shoot-downs and “coke nuns,” with drug-running being veiled by innocent covers.

“Coke and nuns — great band name. Coke from a nun, anywhere you can throw coke and a nun together.” —John [13:24]

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4. Political Marches, “No Kings” Protests & Arizona Life

Timestamps: 22:44–35:28

• Phoenix is "awash" in various marches: “No Kings” (anti-monarchist), Pride, food drives. John complains about the proliferation and inefficacy of marches.
• Mockery of “No Kings” march logistics—especially starting at places like P.F. Chang’s or Burger King, and the irony of marching against centralized authority while having a leader:

  “No Kings March has to have a leader, ironically. And that dude has to be a strong, firm voice...” —John [35:30]

• Tangents about lazy protestors, Arizona driving, and why people won’t travel more than five miles for a cause.

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5. Callbacks: Bike Week, Buffets, Homemade Food Phobias

Timestamps: 43:54–58:57

• John’s dislike for Bike Week and traffic interruptions is paralleled with his food neuroses—he refuses to eat co-worker’s homemade goods brought from home, but will eat raw ground beef from a vendor.
• Jill, a staffer, unwittingly delivers an innuendo-laden comment about someone refusing to eat her "donut hole", to much studio shock and laughter.

“You’ll eat raw meat, but you won’t eat my donut hole? ... When you say it like that, just leaving it right there. I’ll shove meat in my mouth, but I’m not eating your donut hole, lady.” —John [53:02]

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6. Restaurant Inspections, Live Clams, and Grossouts

Timestamps: 69:43–83:09

• Digression over local restaurant health code violations, focusing on “The Kicking Crab,” which had “10 dead clams mixed with the live clams.” Hilarious debate over how you can even tell if a clam is dead.
• The team expresses skepticism that any Arizona seafood place actually keeps live seafood. Brady surprises all by knowing food handling details.

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7. Special Guest: Ian Bagg

Timestamps: 120:15–150:00

• Comedy, Politics, & Immigration: Canadian-born Ian Bagg joins the crew for extended riffs on the “No Kings” march, being an immigrant, and awkward border/ICE paranoia.
• Delivers observations on backyard colonoscopies, relationships, not having kids, and losing his virginity to an Australian hooker.
• Shares personal and emotional moments, including reflections on his mother’s passing.

“If you don’t cry at least once a week, there’s something wrong with you.” —Ian Bagg [148:58]

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8. Rapid Fire: Football, Protest Irony, and Music Synchronization

Timestamps: 150:00–160:00+

• More “promo code” giveaways (words: gate, chips, band, coin) for app-based contests.
• Brady’s trivia: state capitals, pasta day, Halloween spending.
• Riffs on “White Boy of the Year” (Timothée Chalamet), Lifetime Christmas movies (“A Pickleball Christmas”), and a giant Ozzy Osbourne pumpkin.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

On sports misery

“You get flaccoed, and then you flacco yourself.” —John [06:12]

On open government secrets

“I get great joy out of watching any video that the government releases that just for no reason at all says Declassified on it.” —John [12:11]

On the logic of local marches

“If you have to have it close to your house, you don’t care. I’d march, but I’m not leaving my streets.” —John [28:05]

Classic comedic misdirection

“You’ll eat raw meat, but you won’t eat my donut hole?” —Jill (via John) [53:02]

On the efficacy of marches

“I don’t know what happens at the end of a march. You just stand there like, it’s over. Did we do anything? And then you go home...” —John [34:02]

On the passing of time and the loss of his mother

“I had a week where I didn’t think about her...I was just like, God, I’m forgetting about my mom...And then for the rest of my life, I’m just goofy as s---.” —Ian Bagg [149:15]

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Clear Section Index

• Sports misery, gambling, Thursday night football: 00:45–11:19
• Military, drug boats, and video media: 11:19–17:59
• Marches, protests, and local Arizona flavor: 22:44–35:28
• Food, potlucks, and restaurant shaming: 43:54–83:09
• Comedian Ian Bagg’s guest segment: 120:15–150:00
• Pop culture, trivia, and app contests: 150:00–160:00+

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Final Notes/Takeaways

• Signature Tone: Sarcastic, hyper-local, irreverent, often blue, not shy about politics or poking fun at everyone—including listeners and themselves.
• Recurring Themes: Sports heartbreak; the absurdity of protests; traumas of traffic and marches; obsessive cleanliness; and the ever-turning grind of Arizona local color.
• Listener Interaction: Sarcastic back-and-forth with longtime listeners (“20 years and you’re done with me now!?”), and the debut of two on-air cousins playing the game show segment.

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For New Listeners

This episode is a fantastic ribbon of raw sports comedy, local satire, and morbid one-liners—a perfect capsule of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness style. Look for great guest energy from Ian Bagg, and enjoy the unapologetically unfiltered Arizona radio experience.

Transcript

[John]

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[Brady]

Yeah.

[John]

83% of teams on Thursday night on the road did not cover the spread. And there was another like ridiculous stat when the Thursday games first started that it was like 66% of the road teams lost by seven or more. It was weird. And a lot of times the road team is the. The stronger team and it was, it's just remarkable. But the trend continues. So following trends, that's what Vegas does. And following trends was pretty good. The good news is Brady, yesterday when we picked our fanduel picks very wisely and I put up no fight at all. Took the Bengals plus five and a half. Smart. Covered. Not only that. Covered won the game. My. My quarter of the four was big. Darnell Washington. Matt Washington gets a touchdown. He got that. So we're two on ours.

[Brady]

Yep.

[John]

Well on our way to a big $2,000 win of Brett's Bears and Dale's dipstickery.

[Brady]

The tallest. Seems the Dales right between the two. I don't know.

[John]

Well, I don't know. We'll see. Well, against Commander Skins in Dallas. Yeah, Commander's in Dallas and he picked the Commanders. Yeah, that's a, that's going to be a shooting match. But the Commander's coming off a loss it's going to be. But again, there's another stat. Monday, Monday, road teams, the next week struggle on. You know, if you. If you're a Monday team and you travel and you got. That's a short week for them to traveling on a short week. It seems to screw these guys up. They're so fragile. But, oh, my. Yeah, that was. That was disappointing last night, watching the zebras running up and down the field. You know, you dress like referees and evidently everything kind of goes your way.

[Brady]

It's called.

[John]

Oh, you got them all. Ridiculous. Yuck. And Jamar Chase just caught another ball. I don't know if you guys are paying attention, but while we were talking, Jamar Chase got three more on the Steelers secondary, which was facing the wrong way. Evidently, it was rough. And then, you know, you do find a little joy occasionally when you look up and you see, oh, boy, what's going to happen. What is going on at the Toledo household now that the. The Blue Jays beat him again. Now it's two to two. He came in this morning, goes, I know, I know. You know, he's. He's flaccoing himself, going in there buying World Series tickets for a team that's never been there before just for the deal. You wait. You wait. That's coming from John. You know, the guy that looks for deals. That's right. My people look for deals. But it is a. Oof. The second. I mean, what did I do right before he bought those tickets? I was just teasing him. I'm like, you're up to nothing. Absolutely nothing can go wrong here. And he's like, shut up. And you just. Then he goes and buys tear. I'm like, you just did that to yourself. I was kidding. So we'll see about that one. Yeah, you get. You get flaccoed and then you flacco yourself. I like making that a verb. I've been flaccoed. But, yeah, if you're a. If you're a gambling man, take a look at the next Thursday game. I don't even know what it is. And start considering the team you don't expect to win, to at very least cover the spread at the home team.

[Brady]

They ran a couple of promos on it. I can't even remember for next Thursday.

[John]

The Patriots. I don't remember who it is. I don't know. Find out here. Yeah, it was a. At the very least, it was a fun game for a bit, even though it's so flawed all the way down, no defense and. But yeah, I was right down to it, it was good stuff.

[Brady]

Gamblers delight.

[John]

Well, unless you had the under. I don't know what the over under on that game was, but I know it wasn't 64. No. Yeah. It had to be. Like, Kevin Ray was at my house last night. Was it like 45? I'm like, that's gotta be about where I'd even say somewhere between 36, 37, and 45. I would have never expected Vikings at Chargers next Thursday. That's a big travel. I would take the Chargers in that. Just straight up at this point. Even if they're, you know, three and two Vikings and four and two Chargers. So it's on a short. And it depends on where they are this week, too, but Vikings are. Yeah. You know what was crazy about that? That one interception on the sideline last night. Watching that. His left knee hit as his hand. His right knee looks like it hit. But if you go that one angle and they didn't show it twice, his right knee never hits. I'm like, I'm not sure they got that right. Like, it was a great play, but I'm like, I'm not sure they got that right. His knees were opposite. And look, it looks like it drags went in.

[Brady]

But I thought on top of that, I wasn't sure if you really had full possession.

[John]

I'm. I'm. I hate that. That's so weird. But I was watching that, and they had one angle. I'm like, his right knee's not down. His left knee goes down, but that's after his hand hits. I'm like, I think. I think. All right, maybe. I guess they're professionals. But both Thursday games next week are at home. Vikings are in Minnesota. Chargers in Minnesota for. For next Thursday's game. So this week, they're both at home. Oh, they're at home. Oh, I see. Okay. So they're both at home, and then they travel. So the Vikings are. Chargers have that. They don't have to move for two weeks. And they got a team coming in from halfway across the country. Place your bets today. Yeah, like Devin just said, Toledo's gonna be cucking the World Series. I like that. Gonna be watching it from some. Somebody else banging his team. I want the Mariners to get in, but, boy, did he throw that big fat jinx on it. Anyway, what are you gonna do? Sports. It wrecks you. I got 10 days to be miserable. Cause I had a dream. I told Brady. I had the most vivid dream. This is how involved I am in this nonsense. As I had this Dream last night I went to, like, deep sleep and I walked down the hallway here at work and I looked into Tripp's office and there's the. The owner of the place is a lady. She's in there. Tripp Reeb is in there. And who's sitting at Tripp's desk? Joe Flacco, Baltimore Zone. And I'm like, what's he doing here? And Tripp, come on in for a second. And I gotta talk to you. Like, what? Joe has decided that we're gonna let you go. And I'm like, good. I don't want to be in a building with that anyway. And I feel good. And he's mad too. So then the whole dream, like, it was all of my sleep, the whole dream was sitting, negotiating buyouts and, like, what they owed me contractually. Like, this isn't what dreams are.

[Brady]

Then it moved to a restaurant, right?

[John]

Yeah. Then we went to a. You and I were at a restaurant discussing our next. Like, what are we gonna do? Like, we gotta screw these guys. I'm like, joe Flacco, how dare you bring that Buluran in here? And it was like. It felt like about a three hour. And then, you know, the weirdest part of the dream was we kept having to drive from the restaurant we went to back here. And the restaurant was. I don't know what. And as we drive, we had to go through this parking garage and then buy this police service station that was having a charity event where people were picking up trash. And like, they had little tiny bathroom garbage bags and they were just putting one thing in it and then zipping it up and walking it all the way back. It was so frustrating to watch. Like, why don't you guys get bigger bags? There's trash everywhere. And I'd watch somebody just put one thing in and you get out and start helping. And I'm like, tell them to use bigger bags. Come back. Start negotiating with Tripp again. I woke up so vivid, so real, that when I kind of woke up about 2:30, and I'm like, am I employed? Did I get fired? What happened? Like, it was so real. I wasn't sure if Joe Flacco was now a member of the Hubbard broadcast team. And I'd been flaccoed again. Stay off the drug. So close to bedtime. I must have taken some. It's that Tylenol my mom ate. It was just, yeah, I've been flaccoed. Flaccoed two times. I gotta get that stupid book of words. I'll Be right back.

[Brady]

Look at that thing is, it really hasn't gone down so much, but I guess.

[John]

But you think about.

[Brady]

I know, but eight, right? I guess. Does Fitz go out of the book, too?

[John]

Well, yeah. Shannon's here this week, so there should.

[Brady]

Be eight or nine pages.

[John]

It's nine a day. And, and it's for like a hundred weeks.

[Brady]

November.

[John]

Yeah. Today's the 17th. Through healthcare stops. We'll get up there. We'll get that word for you in a couple of minutes. Get ready for that. We have that going. The other thing, I'll say, you know what I've enjoyed the most in the last month and political or otherwise, I know everybody makes everything political. You can't win these conversations. So I don't know who's on the other side. I mean, this will backfire eventually. But I get great joy out of watching any video that the government releases that just for no reason at all says Declassified on it. I feel like I'm like, yeah, like.

[Brady]

You'Re on the inside.

[John]

It's just such a video game, Call of Duty thing. It was declassified video. I'm like, I like, like the word declassified because I feel like I'm in. But watching those Venezuelan boats get blowed up is just a joy for me that I can't explain. Like, I get goosebumps. I, I like, I. And you just sit and see that night vision boat doing nothing and then just lights and it seems like it won't stop exploding. They have survivors. The last one had a couple survivors. So now the joy. Yeah, a couple of dudes made it. And they're going to talk. And I guarantee you the plan is, if you get caught, you were just out fishing. I don't know what was going on here, like, why we got blown up. We don't know. People don't realize that. We've done this several times. This is not a Trump thing. Ronald Reagan used to blow planes out of the sky pretty regularly. Like, he used military jets to knock down planes.

[Brady]

Running the drugs.

[John]

Running drugs. And they just, they knew, sort of like, this is a. But the, the, the warning was, we better stop doing this because eventually we're going to screw it up. And they shot down a plane of nuns, which is real. Like. And then you start wondering, did the nuns have cocaine? Like, was it a plan to have nuns do this? Because, you know, not all nuns are good.

[Brady]

They're not going to take this plane down.

[John]

Right? Yeah. Load it with nuns. Coke. Coke and nuns. Great band name. It's not bad. Coke and nuns. Or nun Coke. Nun Coke is pretty great. I like nun Coke. Coke from a nun, anywhere you can throw coke and a nun together. Just put the. Anyway, but. So it will backfire on us, and it might have. And you leave survivors on the boat you're blowing up, and their story's gonna be like, oh, we're just fishermen enjoying, and I don't know why. And it's gonna look like we killed, like, a family that was just out trying to fish. Who's got them? I don't know. Do we have them or something? That's a great question. I was gonna say it's gonna be Epstein. You think that he's gonna Epstein up? You never know. Yeah.

[Brady]

Bakers on the wall.

[John]

We are nothing. Flour. They're just. We are transporting flour to Florida. It is illegal, but it's the flower trade. I don't care. It's awesome. Those videos are incredibly cool because, you know. And I will say that, you know, I am against this argument, but I am desensitized to night vision explosions because Call of Duty and games like that have made me kind of think it's neat. And then I forget sometimes that it's real unclassified. But then the videos come out, and it's just. And the boats must be huge, because they're just. I mean, the keep blowing up. It's not like a speedboat. They just keep knocking them out of the sky. But then now they've got to officially have announced that there are survivors among the crew. And the official who spoke on the condition of anonymity, didn't offer any additional details about what happened. You might be right, Brett. They might have to. These dudes might succumb to their injuries. Yeah, but they blew up the boat, and two dudes are like. And somebody picked him up. And I don't know if it was us or how we found out it's us. It's over. Oh, if we got them, there wouldn't have been survivors. That's the thing that they confirmed survivors, which means they're going to go back, start telling their tale. It won't be real. It won't be true. And that. But even then, our side's going to start going, nope. We got to start making stuff up, too.

[Brady]

Start the AI videos.

[John]

And then you got a boatload of nuns on, you know, like a. Like a ranger bass boat shooting across the Gulf of America or whatever they're doing and trying to get up to Florida with their nunflower. This is going to end ugly. But right now, I'm enjoying it a lot. And especially on a day like today. Right. I don't mind watching enemies of America get blown out of the sky in night vision. I think that's awesome. I'm in a mood. But, yeah, people are gonna. Now it's gonna turn into, like, there's gonna be marches and there's gonna be all sorts of weird stuff of humane treatment of drug people. And I don't understand it. I got no issues with it. I, I definitely makes me think of.

[Brady]

World War II, where they were having the cruise ships going over there.

[John]

Oh, yeah. My grandpa was on the Queen Mary. My grandpa was a military guy on the Queen Mary as they zigzagged up the Atlantic trying to bait U boats on a passenger boat.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John]

And if you, you know the Queen Mary, like, how come they had guns on here? And everybody's like, I was at different time. No, it was very intentional. We were running weapons and dangerous people from one side to the other. It was. And we're doing it on, you know, on a. On a carnival cruise of the day. It was weird. But, yeah, we've. We've done, you know, we've done some weird stuff. Again, as much as I enjoy these unclassified videos, the. The backfiring it started and we gotta, we gotta, you know, it's like playing ball in the house when you start blowing stuff up for fun, which is essentially what this is with. Under the guise of. Well, they're bad guys, so it's okay. You're like, yeah, that's true. You're gonna knock some nuns into the water. And the next thing you know, it's a bad PR thing. Play ball in the house before something breaks. Have the wherewithal to quit. But essentially, we're playing ball in the house. And here we go. We got two dudes that swam back and went. They blew us up. All right, here. What we tell them you were fishing with your family. See, see, see, you had. All of them were out there. You had two. Two, in fact. Your wife. Yes. There was a quinceanera, a wedding, and your wife gave birth on the boat. And there was brand new infant. You had triplets, three brand new infants on your super boat of flower delivery. No, no, no. None of that actually happened. There were no triplets. You blew up my family.

[Brady]

17. Make a wish.

[John]

It was a make a wish exchange program. And we had many, many crippled kids giving birth to more crippled kids, all while delivering delicious flour to nations that are flower poor.

[Brady]

Then you have people doing the videos looking at look at all the sticks flying in the explosion. Crutches.

[John]

Crutches and. And walkers.

[Brady]

You see, they're.

[John]

They're there just titanium body parts floating around. I don't smear that was he leg. No, no, no. They're making it all up. And Trump would have to defend it all. It's just event. You got like the limit should have been like, we're gonna blow six up and we're just going to talk about it from there on. You can't go until you screw it up. Now you got two guys who are sitting there floating around, and they're like, that story they're going to come up with is going to be. There were nuns, there were sick kids, there were puppies. We were doing a huge puppy delivery. And then just amazing cute pictures of puppies everywhere. And we had the special drawings on a Venezuelan morning show to get sick kids on the boat to deliver the puppies to the orphanages of America. I don't believe that. I don't believe him. By the way, how the did they survive that? If you say it blows up like nine times. So my guess is also the skeptic in me says that they're like, all right, blow up another one of our boats. We'll play pretend somebody survived it and tell the tale. I don't know how anybody survives what we did there. The way it looked, there's a note. So then the. The government said, all right, we've got two guys. We can. We'll mess them up, we'll dunk them in the drink, and we'll get them back to shore and we'll pretend they survived this thing even though they were nowhere near that boat. With the story of the puppies, the nuns, the sick kids, the crutches, the. The delivery to the orphanages, the. Yeah, it was sick orphans and puppies.

[Brady]

We'll bring those two survivors back, and we're gonna end up losing a couple of towns in Minnesota, burning down, protesting.

[John]

Oh, ye. I can't believe you blew up puppies and sick kids. I didn't do that. They're liars. Oh, now he's calling all Mexicans liars. Not even Mexican. I don't know what's happening. This is not good. Close enough.

[Ian Bag]

They all speak.

[John]

It's not good. They're all brown. I give you that. And I'm confused, but I don't get it.

[Brady]

We're not gonna have enough National Guard.

[John]

Oh, my God. And you just know. It's like bringing Pete Hegseth. What is it, sir? How the did they live? We're trying to figure that out, sir. I mean, you blew it up, like, 11 times. It's a bass boat. I don't think you did a good job here, Pete. Sir, we're trying to blow them up as we speak. They're unsure. I don't know if we can do that, but. Okay, go ahead. It's. It always backfires when you're having a good time with missiles. That's what I think. I'm a guy that believes missiles are fun until they're not. Like fireworks. You keep going until someone's hands come off. But you kind of know, eventually, the more you light them, the greater the odds. John Eaton hit us. What'd he say? It's not night vision. It's infrared imagery. I love eating. I don't know why you got to do that. Gorillas don't eat meat. All right, thanks. Eating. All right. That's for the jokes, but okay. Either way.

[Brady]

Those two guys were in a dinghy, fishing.

[John]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Next to the boat.

[John]

Look at the light in the sky. See? See? See? I think I have something on my. What? Blowed up, sir. Anyway, so that's not good, but I do enjoy watching that. All right, the word for six o' clock to start off on the promo codes. Gate. Go on the app, find the six o' clock promo code box, put in the word gate, and you're off and running to qualify yourself for a thousand bucks, which I believe today, someone will finally win. I don't know for sure if that's how it works, but I'm pretty sure that's how it works. So good luck to all of you. Gate is where? G, A, T, E as in gate. You're a pinhead if you're. Like. What you saying? Gate. I've spelled it. I've done everything. It's time for you to just understand that gate is the word today. That's it. That's how it works. So there you go. Everybody's got it. Yeah. And if you're. If you're. And if you're like me and you're all for the bombing of those things, then you also have to understand what it's. What it's coming to. And we get this. No Kings marches. Are we doing one here? I believe so. Look, I don't understand this. To people who want to. If, in fact, we had a dictatorship with a king, you wouldn't be allowed to have a no Kings march. So the fact that you're allowed to do it means that we're still okay.

[Brady]

Would they do it this weekend? Isn't there another.

[John]

There's the gay pride. Yeah. No queens either, evidently. 11:00am the no kings march. What an annoying group.

[Brady]

It's gonna be a crossover.

[John]

The weather this nice and you want to march around and scream about stuff that isn't happening. It could, though. I know, but I mean, come on. Everybody says that everybody thought Obama was going to try to be a king. I'm not seeing it.

[Brady]

Speaking of kings, the king of England.

[John]

Yeah. King Charles.

[Brady]

Yeah, King Charles. His net worth has got. It's the most expensive, the most. He's the richest king.

[John]

Well, yeah, that would make sense.

[Brady]

Well, when he first took the office.

[John]

Basically the office of king.

[Brady]

Yeah. When he took over the title.

[John]

Yeah.

[Brady]

He. He wasn't anywhere near what quality investor. Yep.

[John]

He's done well with his money. Pretty sure that the monarchy's doing all right. I'm glad you're keeping up with it, though.

[Brady]

It really wasn't the value of the monarchy, you know, being maintained. They had the.

[John]

Sure. You said it was in trouble for a little bit.

[Brady]

It wasn't. I don't think it was really in trouble, but it was a lot lower than it used to be.

[John]

It's making something. Yeah, well, it might have been lower, but I'm pretty sure they've been comfortable. Touchdown deals are happening now at hooters.

[Ian Bag]

Starting at $10.99 per person.

[John]

You can grab a Hooties Pick 3. Your choice of an appetizer, entree and a drink. Dig into crispy fried pickles, juicy wings, or a cheeseburger and wash it all.

[Ian Bag]

Down with an ice cold fountain drink or upgrade to a cocktail or buzzballs.

[John]

For just a few bucks more. Don't forget to pick your player with big daddy drafts of Michelob Ultra or Bud light for only $4 or DOS Equis for just $5.

[Ian Bag]

Hooters has the food, drinks and game day vibes.

[John]

Hooters, where the party always kicks off. This is Larry McFeely and my neighbor is running a full on couch business out of his garage and he's moving couches like crazy. We're talking love seats, recliners, sectionals, you name it. And guess what's doing all the heavy lifting? His Toyota Tacoma and Toyota Tundra. He's packing them in like a Tetris puzzle. And those trucks are hauling couches all over town. Toyotas are efficient, reliable, and they never complain. So whether you're hauling a business, a weekend project, or just your neighbor's new sofa, the Tacoma and Tundra get it done, Visit your Valley toyota dealer or valleytoyotadeealers.com toyota let's go places. Holmberg's. Morning sickness. Yeah. In this day and age, of course, this King is the richest of all businesses.

[Brady]

Boom.

[John]

Yeah. Business for Kings. Kings tend to do very well. And occasionally, you know, their slip ups are somewhat tolerable, I would say. Here's the map of the marches that were. How many are we having? I don't know. A bunch. There's one. There's like 18 of them up there. Oh, gosh. And, you know, look, I. I'm fine with your marching and all that stuff. I just don't understand marching against, like, something that's not happening yet. Like. Yeah, but you don't do it yet. I'm like, I get it. I understand. But consolidate. It's nice out. I don't want to be at a patio and have a no Kings march. Wreck my day. P. F. Chang's.

[Brady]

Okay, P.F.

[John]

Chang'S Plaza in Scottsdale. Notes were discussed. Why is P.F. chang's being punished? Like, they just want a normal day of restaurant going and you've got this weird protest. You're mucking up our good weather. Well, Tempe's doing it nice. They're doing a food drive along with their no Kings march.

[Ian Bag]

Okay.

[John]

So long as it doesn't screw up traffic. That's all I ask. We've already got the gays messing things up on Central this weekend. Do I have to have no Kings to it? Can I go anywhere and enjoy this beautiful weather?

[Brady]

Baseline and Val Vista.

[John]

All these are no Kings marches, apparently. Jesus Christ. You know, the city's not. You could get to 15 minutes and march downtown. Just stick to one street. I'm fine with protests. I love them. I think it's great. It's American Queen Creek, too. But 18 and one in Maricopa? What do you people care? I mean, you need to. You need to focus on yourselves. You live in Maricopa, For Christ's sake. AJ Too.

[Brady]

Wow.

[John]

Quit worrying about what the federal government's doing and start paying attention to your own house. Jesus. I have no intention going to Goodyear. That's where the marches should be. Out there. Buckeye. Where the hell goes a Buckeye?

[Ian Bag]

Come on.

[John]

Who's marching in Buckeye? I'd march to get the hell out of there. If you want to go to a march. March. And it has to be convenient to you. You don't care that much. Well, I'd march, but Phoenix is so far and they closed the freeways Glendale slammed with them. Look at that.

[Brady]

Yeah, it looks like a hot spot.

[John]

Yeah, Glendale's got like seven or eight city. Who's marching in Sunset? I want to watch that one.

[Brady]

Oh, man, that's rolling.

[John]

Yeah, that is a. That's a. It's golf carts decorated with. No, 9am that's like dinner for them. What the hell? Yeah, yeah. They're going to catch their. Their evening nap at 10am so it's a quick one. That's a caravan. Yeah, no Kings Caravan.

[Ian Bag]

Yeah.

[John]

It looks like El Mirage is doing a surprise. Is doing it right with the caravan. I'm not marching. I'm riding in the car. It's not.

[Brady]

One of them is a no Kings bar hop.

[John]

Yeah. Where's the poker run? Where's the no Kings poker? Let's get involved. Yeah, you stop at five places that don't want kings either and you get a card. Tara's got one that's a decent mall. What is it?

[Brady]

One above that? Or was that.

[John]

There's one up in Carefree, north of. No, keep going north. Even further. Oh, yeah, there is. Jesus Christ. If you have to have it close to your house, you don't care. I'd march, but I'm not leaving my streets. Geezer everywhere. There's one in Payson. Camp Verde. Camp Verde just has a Pizza Hut and a Long John Silver. Is that many people there?

[Brady]

Oh, yeah. Sedona.

[John]

Sedona would be a nice march. I think the weather's valley. But what if you're going to Sedona this weekend for a romantic weekend and they're screwing up the already terrible traffic? Two in Sedona. Yeah. Well, that's a.

[Brady]

You gotta have one along 89A.

[John]

Well, they're screwing up two. There's only two goddamn roads there and they're gonna make them. Look, those hippies in Sedona are going to mess up everything. But they should have. You know what we should do if I was. If I was governor, we have a bridal path for ponies, a marching path for protests, and I don't care what side it is. I'm. I'm against mucking up traffic on either side. If you have to close a road to get your point across, people, you're just pissing everybody off. Back in 20, you know, 14, when everybody's like, Obama's going to do. We did it with Bush. We did. I'm old enough to know now. Nothing's ever different. Whoever's in power is going to use their power to become Obama's Going to run for a third term. He's going to use a martial law and he's going to. No, he's not. And he didn't. And then now Trump's a kid. Stop it. The fact, the fact that you're having a march against kings proves we don't have one. Because otherwise if I was the king, I'd just mow all these down. You're announcing where you're going to be and I just take those, those nun killing boat planes we got shooting down those druggies and just start knocking out my kings. That's a peaceful visibility event up there in Wickenburg, man.

[Brady]

It's going up. They're covering Nevada.

[John]

Bullheads. Oh, it's all over the country.

[Ian Bag]

I know.

[John]

Too many shots on the. Too many marchers go to Tuba City to march. The weather is so damn nice. Don't, don't go by the Windsor, please. I want to, I want to have a nice lunch. And they got beautiful place, hard to park already. Joyride across the road, has a nice patio. You're gonna mess that up. Come on. We're just all over the place. Tucson's a hot spot too. Telling you man, it's beautiful outside. You're messing it up for people who just don't care.

[Brady]

Me, well, on the other side of it, they're looking at it, man, for a march weekend.

[John]

Yeah. I gotta say that if I was gonna have a march, it would be like let' the gays are marching this weekend. And the gays, the gays were wise because they picked June as a pride month. But nobody was thinking about Phoenix. So the gay Phoenix Phoenicians were like, not here it isn't.

[Brady]

That is a yes. Queens.

[John]

Yeah, it's yeah. Yeah. All queens. No kings. March, big bears. I don't know what they're gonna. How many of those are there this week? And Jesus Christ, I can't leave the house. It's like bike week.

[Brady]

Arizona is coming here.

[John]

Yeah, everybody thinks bike week is fun. I look at the no Kings marches better because I don't like when 14 Harley Davidsons go. They always pick a nice month of weather and tool around in their loud ass bikes and blow by cafes and stuff. You're trying to just have a nice afternoon and people who like bikes, that's great, but stick to stick. Look, I say this because this is what my grandpa used to say. Stick to your own. That's all I'm saying. If you want to be in bikes, go to a bike place. And everybody likes bikes. Don't Go tooling around and surprise people at lgo. Oh, these marchers? No, I'm in a mood. I got flaccoed. You gotta understand, a man was flaccoed last night right there in front of his family. But, yeah, these. How many? 18. 19 marches. And just every city should, like just one. If people of Goodyear want to march but you don't want to drive to Phoenix, then you don't care that much.

[Brady]

Well, if each one of those dots has three to five people. Still a march, right?

[John]

I mean, how big can Buckeyes march be? I just didn't feel like driving all the way downtown for this. I got a lot to do. I gotta clean the house, I got some laundry. I just don't want kings in Buckeye. If I was in Buckeye, I'd be begging for change all the time. What can we do that's different? How do I get the hell out of here? How do I get out of Buckeye? I would love to go to a march somewhere else. No offense, Buckeye, but you're way far away from all the good stuff. We don't like traveling. I love protesting and my heart is in it, but if it's more than a five mile radius, I'm not doing it. You just don't care that much. It's kind of how I am. That's why. Look, I can. I can get fired up about just about anything. But our march this weekend is in. We're going to Buckeye for that. Well, I'm not going to that. I thought you were passionate about the cause. Yeah, but it's a Buckeye. I mean, how far away Buckeye is? I'm the same way with concerts. It's where exactly I'm good. And that's something I want to go to. I say it to Brady all the time. Gilbert. You know how many good things I passed to go all the way to Gilbert? I'm going to stop. Along the way, Doug Hopkins had a golf thing. You want to golf with me? Like where? I don't know. Forever from your house. Pines. I don't know what the place was called. It was. I'm like, where is it? And he goes, it's Riggs. And I'm like, I'm out. What do you mean? It's free. I'm like, riggs and what, 6am Riggs? And I'm like, you know how many good golf courses I passed to drive to this? To hang out with you? I'll see you at the Suns game. I'm not a traveling Man, I don't know that I'm that passionate about anything. Like, if there was a, you know, a march to say, I don't even know who there wouldn't be, because nobody's against. But, like, all puppies have safety. Safety for puppies. We had a big problem. Safety for puppies problem. And they're like, we're going to march this weekend. I'm like, at the end, what happens? I don't know. I don't know what happens at the end of a march. You just stand there like, it's over. Did we do anything? And then you go home and you do it on a weekend when the government's closed. Like, I don't think this is. There's.

[Brady]

It's just pointless if you do it right. You have a band at the end.

[John]

Yeah, that'd be nice. Like a marathon.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John]

At the end, there's a party. But I don't know how they end. It seems anticlimactic that you walk all the way down. No Kings won't tolerate it. No Kings. We're here. We're queer. I don't know what you say.

[Brady]

What they do is they crown the best marcher of that.

[John]

Oh, oh, you know, the king and queen. Ironically, they have a king of the no Kings. You're the most handsome marcher here. I think you're gonna win King of no Kings.

[Brady]

Is there a leader of this no Kings march?

[John]

I am the king of the no Kings march. I wonder if there is a, like, an organizer who gets a little bit. All right, listen to me. Wait a minute. This is a group. No, no. Somebody's got to take charge of this thing. This no King's march is disorganized, and we need a single, solitary voice to express how we feel about our march. Isn't that the opposite of what we're trying to do? All right, Arrest that woman. Shut your mouth instead.

[Brady]

They aren't doing that. And it's everyone. It's chaos.

[John]

I guarantee you in one of these 1820 marches in the.

[Brady]

We're going to march this way.

[John]

There's one guy who's kind of a totalitarian about how this march is going to go, and that's the irony of how. Everybody shut up. I'm in charge of this march. And what we hate, single voices, totalitarianism and monarchies. And that's what Trump's trying to quiet down. I hear you talking. I won't tolerate it. Like Mark Randall at our you fest back in the day. All right, we're over here, and you Go to here. Your seats are over here. And you just walk by him like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I got you, pal.

[Brady]

I'm not sure. Ask the organizer.

[John]

Yeah. No Kings March has to have a leader, ironically. And that dude has to be a strong, firm voice to keep these people in line. And I find it hysterical that they're just going to walk to a destination. And I like the ones that are PF Changs. Just walk around the block once, end up, have one of them delicious lettuce wraps, and then go home some pot stickers. That sounds great after a lack of king smarts. And then, ironically, you go to PF Chang's, which is Chinese food and is all about, like, emperors and no human rights at all. We'll start at PF Chang's. There's a mistake right there. Well, it'll be great because they get great parking and the food is fantastic. And the Chinese decor, I love it. Anyway, we're doing a no Kings March. We're going to start it at a Chinese restaurant because we're morons.

[Brady]

We'll break for high tea.

[John]

We have high tea at noon. It's gonna be great. I'll wear my hat. It'll be like going to Wimbledon. Strawberries and cream at the end in honor of King Charles. I want to go down there and dress like, you know, the thing from Sherwood Forest. That lion in the big purple coat. What's up, folks? How you doing? We're gonna start at Burger King and we're gonna. Wait. Wait what? We started burger. They have an ample parking lot. Burger King.

[Brady]

That is a great idea. If you could have four or five people just fully in armor. Knight's armor.

[John]

None shall pass by order of King John. Who are you? I saw you at the Burger King starting your no Kings March to the P. F Chang's. Your message is mixed. Who's in charge here? I am. So you are the King of the no Kings. Well, I don't like to call myself that, but yes. Walk around the coconuts behind him like in Robin. Who are you who tries to march in my new Kings March? I am Arthur, not King of the Britons.

[Brady]

Where are we meeting? In the Burger King parking lot.

[John]

I brought a round table. We'll all sit and meet and talk about the no Kingsman. We'll wait and we'll do it at night.

[Ian Bag]

It'll be.

[John]

We'll call it Nights of the Round Table. It's just dumb because it's not going to do anything. You don't understand. It's a voice. It's a message. Now you're in Buckeye. You won't travel downtown. It's not that important to you. One big giant march where everybody goes to you. I'm like, there's a march? That's how you do it. Look, you can call it what it was, but those Black Lives Matter marches, they're eye catching, I'll say that. Those guys, they were intimidating. They were getting some things broken. And then, you know, Jake Paul came, and all the white people ruined it. Chucking stuff at the Scottsdale Fashion Square. We're gonna have a problem here. Scottsdale Fashion Square, they rebuild it pretty good. Oh, they did a nice job. The piano shop getting looted was my favorite one, because, I mean, you're not getting one of those. You might get one of the keyboards, but I don't think. The poor piano guy. I'll never forget. The next morning, they're interviewing him on the news. Like, why? Why the. If there's any time black and white gets along, it's a piano. Why did you do this? Like, it's a representation. Ebony and I. It's the. The keys, they're in harmony. Why would you break the piano window? This is a. This is like a metaphor for everything you want. Yeah, sorry about that. We thought we could lift one of those things. They're heavy.

[Brady]

18 pianos on top of hellcats rolling.

[John]

Around like the Fabulous Baker Boys. Just. There was people singing and dancing as they steal pianos. A good march, though, I gotta say, if there's marches go, that's probably one of the more memorable ones. No, King's March, starting at PF Chang's. How dare you? There he is. That's my guy. This is what I'm riding out there this weekend and doing this. You fight with the strength of many men, Sir Knight. I am Arthur, King of the Britons. I love that night. I seek the finest and the bravest knights in the land to join me in my court at Camelot. This is the parking lot of PF Chang. I'm doing this to all of them. I'm going dressed out like that, too. Brady, grab your cup. You have proved yourself worthy. Will you join me? I gotta watch that tonight. We should set up a screen and just play the Holy Grail.

[Brady]

I love the Squire.

[John]

What? None shall pass. I have no quarrel with you, good Sir Knight, but I must cross this bridge. Then you shall die. I'm. I want to do that this weekend. I'm just gonna. I won't even say a word. I'm just gonna stand in the black Outfit on the side. What's that? He guards the Black Forest. That's great stuff. Anyway, good luck with your no Kings march, but I'm just not buying that it's gonna result in much of anything this guy says. Money sure has changed you, Homeberg over the last 20 years. I've listened the whole time, but I'm done. Have a good life. You can march. I'm not against your march. I'm just saying don't muck up traffic. Nothing about that's changed about me and my whole entire time. Corey. Have some fun with it. For crying out lo. Worthy advers. By the way, Corey, you're nothing but a stump. I've chopped off your arms. No you didn't. It's a flesh wound. You listen to us for 20 years and this is why you quit? Cuz I don't like when traffic gets screwed up by marches. I can tolerate the bigotry and making fun of the cripples and I draw the line at you. No kinging my. No kings. I don't like your march. You're clogging up traffic. I don't like any marches. I've said that forever. But because I said the Black lives movement was a pretty memorable one. I didn't say it was good. I just said it was memorable. They got stuff done and then Jake Paul ruined it. I didn't say it was for their cause, but seeing as marches go, that one was pretty effective. Not in a good way.

[Brady]

I don't know if Jake Paul ruined it.

[John]

He ruined it.

[Brady]

It's more like a whitehead on there.

[John]

Well, yeah, well, it was a whitehead for sure. When they started to march by the Z Gallery and make noise. I'm like, this has lost its. This has lost its cause. Oh, you're gonna try to get some of that fluffy furniture that gays love. I don't know that you're really on point anymore. Sorry, Corey. Didn't mean to offend your delicate sensibilities. After 20 years of listening to this show, I didn't realize that me not liking traffic just, you know, maybe it was the bikes. I don't know.

[Brady]

I am done.

[John]

I am done. I am done. You don't like the no Kings march? Yeah, I just. I just don't like any march. If it was a let's have kings march, I'd be just as upset. I got flaccoed last night. Corey, you don't understand. I need free flowing interstates. I need all the arteries of the city to be going in case I want some lunch. It would be funny. Billy brings it up. If Trump shows up at one of those marches in a king's outfit, amazingly funny, just like he did at McDonald's. I'm here for the jokes, Corey. Come on. Money's changed me over 20 years. I've hated traffic since I was poor.

[Brady]

And it has it.

[John]

Oh, yeah, completely. You know, I love being it.

[Brady]

Can't help.

[John]

I love having it. It's nice.

[Brady]

But it'll change with less money. Yeah, I change with more money.

[John]

Hate traffic jams. I've hated them since I was, like, dead broke. And it may come from when I was broke, because I remember looking at that needle on my Jeep down on the E, sitting there, not moving, going, what's going on? Oh, there's marchers. I'm gonna run out of gas. These ruining everything. Money's changed me. There you go. Please. I hope so Hang out. Poor people like you yelling at everything and being no fun.

[Brady]

When you didn't have money, you weren't much of a marcher.

[John]

I wasn't marching. I like my weekends to be fun. I like them all to be fun. But I know you can't talk about any of that stuff with any sort of frivolity. He said on the radio, complaining, like a true magatard. But, yeah, he's not for either side. Joshua, I'm not for your side or their side. And all Kings march would make me mad. I don't like marches. I don't like. I said, the bicyclists that run around with those loud motorcycles. I don't like them either. Most of them are, as you say, magatards.

[Brady]

You're not super fired up for bike week?

[John]

Not at all.

[Brady]

Certain areas, you know, it's gonna be, oh, so loud.

[John]

Heavy traffic, so incredibly loud. He doesn't represent either side. No, I don't like. I told you. I like when Trump blows up boats. But he's playing the fire. I think it's a dumb idea. After a little while, I've covered all my bases here. You just get mad that your side feels a little bit hurt. I just don't like how many there are. And this guy's probably. I probably hit a nerve because he's like, well, I was gonna march in that Buckeye one cause it's the closest, and then it hurts you. Cause I said you're not real serious about it. If you're just looking for convenient marches and you don't see the irony of starting it at PF Chang's, I mean, go yourself, please. It has nothing to do with my money. That's just dumb. People don't like realists. They don't like people to point out the warts on their plan. You're starting at PF Changs. You're ending at Burger King. Okay. Does anybody might sign up for that? That sounds like a Brady Marx to me.

[Brady]

Where's that one at.

[John]

Seven brothers? He's in no time. Yeah. Brought to you by King Hawaiian buns. Oh, don't do this. You guys are making a lot of mistakes with your sponsors. Got more people angry about it. Yeah. Oh, probably. There you go, Aiden. I'm part of the Alphabet group, but I'm with John. Traffic closures. I agree stop we need And I'm all for having like a marching path. Great. Let's go to Kiwanis park. March around the park. They did get hit by that tornado the other day. The bridal path central. It's perfect. It's off to the side. Everybody's traffic. You know you'll have to wait every once in a while for a lot of people crossing the road. But that. That doesn't. Encanto park's open. Encanto's beautiful and it's beautiful outside. Go to the park and at the end you've got a nice part to.

[Brady]

Play in the Val Vista and baseline. Like in my area. Maybe they're just marching the square.

[John]

Like the players are out the vague and then just kind of walk around by everything. I like the idea that you're all about not bullying people and being fair and equal and you don't want kings. And then you called me a mogatard. So I mean you throw a slur at me. Mogator jump. Yeah, it is. You know what you're doing. You just use tard. Like if anybody says retard you want them fired from their job. But you can use moga tard mean the exact same thing and then be the self righteous moral one. I don't want to hear it.

[Brady]

Maga tard libtard.

[John]

Yeah, all the tards.

[Brady]

But you're really a taint tard.

[John]

Sure I'm middle of the road tard and fully admit the tarred part. But we all know what you're doing when you're tired up. It's like relobertos. We know what's going on there. The Bertos is the key. Tart is the key. I know what you're doing. 20 years. I find that hysterical. 20 years. Listen to the show. And now I'm out because you made fun of the no Kings march for a second. I'm going to be at PF Chang's this weekend celebrating freedom democracy at the Chinese restaurant. Hey, what'd you order on Teemu? The other. Oh, I see. You won't support any of them. It. We're all hypocrites. Knock it off. It's hilarious. Anyway, gate. That's the word for six o'. Clock. As you try to change your life with money too. Let's get a Wake up song. 585-9800. A good one and we'll scream it together. It's 98. Kup, Wake Up. It's out of control now. 98. If you're shopping while working, eating or even listening to this podcast, then you know and love the thrill of a deal. But are you getting the deal and cash back? Rakuten shoppers, do they get the brands they love? Savings and cash back. And you can get it too. Start getting cash back at your favorite stores like Target, Sephora and even Expedia. Stack sales on top of cash back and feel what it's like to know you're maximizing the savings. It's easy to use and you get your cash back sent to you through PayPal or check. The idea is simple. Stores pay Rakuten for sending them shoppers and Rakuten shares the money with you as cash back. Download the free Rakuten app or go to rakuten.com to start saving today. It's the most rewarding way to shop. That's R a k u t n rakuten.com I said coffee, not it sounds. Oh, okay. Yeah, I just drink coffee. I'm not, not swallowing dudes Gold. How did you. How did you. I just said. I just told Brett off the air. I had. I'm, I'm. I tried and this I got to give credit to my best friend. Mark and his family are going through a thing and tip went out tonight for their amazing dog Rudy. That dog. I love that dog. That's my best friend's lab. Got cancer. Cancer's just ravaging a lot of dogs. I've had it happen in one of my, my, one of those special ones. My boy Benny was. We're getting test results today on Coco Coco. Coco's like 11 or 12 though, right?

[Brady]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[John]

And it still sucks, but at least you know there's. You got. You got that.

[Brady]

The vet basically saying there's high levels. I will discuss it with you tomorrow.

[John]

And. And Rudy was eight and he's still. He's still with Us I'm gonna say goodbye to. Rudy was a special one for me, too. But my buddy Mark has. And his wife Kristen, and the family just love them all to death. They're. They've been my best friend since fifth grade, and he came over at the end of the game last night, and they were. It was just. We were all broken. It was just. It was just painful. It's horrible. And I love that dog. Every time I go over and help them when they're out of town and I go over and see him, Rudy's my right hand. Like, he's just one of those dogs. It's like, you're with me. Like, I. I'm on labs and that guy. And they, you know, they're dog people like me. And all their dogs are awesome. They've got my. My dog Jack. Ham's sister is theirs. Okay. That's what I was wondering if. Yeah, Lucy's still. Okay. Still fat as a pig, but okay. And. But Rudy's. Yeah, Rudy got cancer, and it's not good. And I want to say goodbye to him. So tip. You know, tip one back and give a cookie to your dogs in honor of Rudy. Another one that, you know, did the best he could for as long as he could. That we got to figure that cancer thing out with dogs. It's. It's. It's everywhere. And all this healthy dog food that we got and all these things, you got to wonder how come cancer is getting them. Betty White talked about this about 10 years ago, saying, something's going on. Cancer is prevalent in dogs now where it used to not be constant, and then it's constant.

[Brady]

It happens, you know, at the zoos, most of the time, the animals passing away. A lot of time, it's always. Cancer is probably 80% of the time.

[John]

And it's got to be age. I don't know, because mine was six. Like, young dogs are dying of cancer way more than they used to. Way more than. It's got to be food. It's got to be something in the processing of dog food or whatever. Anyway, so Mark was. He's a coffee guy. And so I'm like, well, if Mark likes it. And we've been friends until, like, maybe I should try. Like, I don't know. We've. We've always had similarities. Maybe Mark and I'll. So he kind of. He said, I'm gonna have a cup of coffee. I'm like, I will, too. And I drank it on Sunday, or actually drank it two Sundays ago. Tried it, didn't like it. And I tried it without creamer. I feel like I've not grown up because I don't like coffee. Like, there's something about me that's still juvenile in that regard, that everybody said, you'll like it when you get older. You have to eat it. I hate it. So I had some on Sunday, and my breath hasn't been the same since. Kids nowadays drink it at, like, 8 years old, and they used to tell you it stunted your growth. And, like, I don't know what it does, but it stunts your breath. I have not had the same taste in my mouth since then. And then Brett brought up a gay friend of ours and said that's what he says every Sunday. I'm like, I didn't say I was drinking. Sup Coffee.

[Brady]

Throat coat.

[John]

Yeah. Yeah. That's what it feels like. Yeah. But not that a way. It's weird. And I. And I hated it even more drinking it black. And that's not bigoted. I just. I. I like. I didn't like my. I don't want to piss that Corey guy off again, saying, I don't like black coffee because it's black. But I don't. I don't. And I didn't like it creamy either. I didn't like it even mocha. I like my coffee lily white is what I'm saying.

[Brady]

I'm doing a shot of espresso basically every day. Not straight up. Splash of milk.

[John]

Is that good for you? The milk is not. I'm worried about you. You do espresso shots in the morning?

[Brady]

Yeah. 1.

[John]

Did you look into this, Brady? Just okay?

[Brady]

Yes.

[John]

Making sure that you're doing your due diligence and not just enjoying a. Yeah. Yeah. I don't like espresso either. I don't understand that. Like, it's just a hot shot just for energy, I suppose. But I don't get it. But I am not gonna. I don't like it. I'm trying. I want to try a new thing. Coffee's my new thing, and I hate it. Yeah. Don't try the coffee around here. It's terrible. Is it? Oh, yeah. Like in the pots here. I don't think I drink community coffee anyway. Yeah.

[Brady]

I still can't do.

[John]

It's like Bernie Miller coffee. Oh, yeah. I just don't like a pot of coffee that everybody has access to and it sits out. Like, if you had just lemonade in a pitcher in the kitchen, no one would touch it. By the way, everybody knows by now my absolute disdain for homemade foods. Being brought to workplaces. And again, Jill, who downstairs, I absolutely love, trust, and believe in 100% and would probably eat at her house if I watched her cook it. But she's got that boy, and he's a mess and his booger hands and all over. So I don't know what's going on in that kitchen when no one's looking. And I know there's some. Some tolerant moments of parents that allow their kids to do stupid stuff and like, oh, what are you gonna do? Get. Get boogers on my hands from the boy. And this boy of hers has been in that kitchen for a long time. So she brought in donuts and then pumpkin puree. Did you eat water? Yeah. Anyway, so they had holes in them and stuff because she made homemade donuts. She goes, I didn't even have a. I'm like, I don't even want to know how you made the holes if you said you didn't have, like, a hole maker. And then she goes, you won't eat my food from my house. And she's screaming it in front of everybody. I'm like, I won't eat anybody's food that's traveled from their house to here because I don't know what's going on in your kitchen. She goes, I'm clean, and you've known me for 25 years. I'm like, yeah, and I still won't eat the food that you travel from your house to here. I just don't do it. Call me crazy, but that's just a consistency of me. And then she said the greatest line that's ever been uttered in the sales department, because, as you know, a couple weeks ago, Jonathan from Verlo Mattress dropped off all that ground beef, and we thawed some out, and I ate it raw right out of the package. And I did it next to Jill. I polished off the pound while we were talking for. I was down there for lunch. And she goes, what are you doing? I'm like, it's my lunch. And I'm just squeezing it out like frosting from a tube into my mouth. Oh, my God. So then yesterday, Jill says, wait a minute. You'll eat raw meat, but you won't eat my donut hole. And I'm like, you know what? When you say it like that, just leaving it right there. I'll shove meat in my mouth, but I'm not eating your don hole, lady. And the whole place froze. There was no laughing. Jessica, Jennifer, everybody's like, chill. And then Jill realized kind of what she'd said so because I'm a kind person that didn't want to hurt her feelings anymore. I went crazy on that donut hole for about five minutes, and as expected, boogers and hair. Now I'm. I don't care how much I know and love you, you know, unless it's, like, some sort of process you're doing as a business, I am not eating your experiment from your kitchen. And again, I've been proven right on this. The second Covid happened. Buffets. Potlucks were the first two things. Everybody said, don't have those. I rem. And again, I don't know if you're. If you've snapped. You know, they always say FBI statistic is the majority of the times you're attacked in your life is at your workplace. I remember Debbie downstairs bringing in that seven layer dip. I'm not touching that. Debbie hated half of the staff out loud. She's cooking for us. No, thanks. I mean, if you had somebody wandering around going, I hate every last mother in this building, and I swear to God, I'm gonna burn it. And then you have a potluck. And she's like, ah, my chance. And then she brings in this beautiful seven layer dip. She took time. And I'm like, only a killer would do that. There's no way.

[Brady]

Seven layer dip. And everyone got a pair of black Nikes.

[John]

It was bad. And Debbie's like, you're not going to eat my seven layer dip, Debbie. I'm not eating any. The only thing. And I. You know what I brought to the potluck? I had a pizza delivery. Because you can sue them that they're supposed to cook for you. Yes, bad things can happen, but if they do, there's a lawsuit. They lose their. Their food handler. Debbie cooks something nasty in that seven layer dip. She's gotcha. She wins. I marched on this. I don't know if you guys saw that. I had marches all over the place. That money changed you. That's why. I know. I know. Before, when I was poor, I used to eat off the streets. You know, just anything I found scrounging for pennies. And then I got money and then started to change my ways. I don't know what that money has to do with anything that I don't like. Traffic gnarling. Ramon says, hey, John, why don't they ever do a no kings march at the Renaissance festival? Wouldn't that be a better, like, metaphor? It's where the king is and down with the king. Yeah, Ramon's right, Corey. The Other Corey, not the mean one that hates US now after 20 years of listening, but won't tolerate me disagreeing with him. Once says, email says, what does you having money have to do with anything about disliking a march? And I said, oh, well, the Corey that emailed is poor and he's lashing out that someone else's success has something to do with his failure. So he's mad at me. And she goes, as people like to that do I just find it odd that he said, money's changed you. Is there one point in your life, John, that you're not telling us about? Did you used to be poor and constantly lead marches? I don't remember that about you. She goes, I know what his point was, but I just think it's stupid. And he's giving us. Corey's a bad name. Sorry about that. Corey, the mean Cory's there. Yeah. Remember, Brady, how I before I changed, how I was always organizing marches? Remember that? Oh, I was a march machine.

[Brady]

I can tell you of a couple huge.

[John]

Which ones?

[Brady]

The Halloween.

[John]

Oh, that was the other zombie walk. 8:00 clock at night on a Saturday, I'd screw up a half a mile of First Avenue. Oh, it was a nightmare. Yeah, that was a big one. Get dressed up and have fun with absolutely no cause other than to be a fun thing. And by the way, we didn't close streets. We walked on the sidewalks. And then the one street we closed was that thing next to the Diamondbacks ballpark.

[Brady]

You have to close one street.

[John]

Yeah, yeah, it was just right there by the Diamondbacks thing. Nobody drives on that. This guy.

[Brady]

That's one of your.

[John]

Oh, that was when I was a Martin. Your heart was right. Oh, my God. When I was ready to protest everything dressed as a zombie and laugh and have fun and drink afterwards. Yeah, that was when I was really active. But that was before money had changed me, Brady. Now I'm like, ew, yuck to that. This one says, from Paula, the Toledo hater. You got to be kidding me. That asshole listened to this show for 20 years and today he's had enough, please jerk off. I've listened longer than that and I've put up with Toledo most of the time and I still love listening to you. Kind of a weird stalker vibe at the end there, Paula, but okay, she's right. You can tolerate Toledo for 20 years. John, will you do a Johnny Carson impression and bring back Karnak the Magnificent and blow the. Okay, I'll try. Well, it would be Ed saying that, right? Maga tard. Oh, great one Maga tard.

[Brady]

Yeah, throwing out the word.

[John]

And then Karnak would come back and go, I what is Toledo's password to his poor person? Chime Checking account. Yes. So great one maga time. Yes. It was a good one. Bringing back Carnax fun. And then of course people talking about me getting Flacco said, sucks to be you this morning, John Brady bread and Uncle Mike for the win. Love you boys. Congrats on the bungles. Yeah, we're all, you know, we're all so down on the word tarred. It's like getting people fired in spots. And sometimes it is, sometimes it's not. And I think that Thomas has it figured out. He said, why can't we all just come together and unite in the understanding that in some way or another we're all a tard. You can pick one moment in everybody's existence and say, oh, that's where Brady's a blank and tarred. I like that. That's a unifying message. David says, john, don't be too hard on Corey. Last night was his turn to be the bottom and his boyfriend is black. Oh, I said I didn't know that. That's going to be tough marching for him that you don't recover from that overnight. By the way, people are screaming for the next word. Oh yeah, it's seven oh eight chips. Like the seventies cop show. Yeah, chips. C H I P S Chips. Thank you, Brad. I'd have forgotten chips. Hop on that thing, get on the app, put that in the promo code. And people really want to piss Corey off. What the F is a no kings march? We live in a democracy, right? Jesus Christ, get a job, you lazy hippies. Yeah, that's how I feel too. Lazy hippies. And if you go back in time, back when I didn't have money, I hated when the Tea Party was marching around too. I didn't like that. I don't like marches.

[Brady]

Started out the background like, oh, when they're standing on the constitution and all that. And then it just went, just goes huge.

[John]

And they're running around in parks and messing some couldn't go anywhere. People in those tri tipped hats, they were nuts. I it was bananas.

[Brady]

It turns into ends up turning into a very Jimmy Buffett like thing.

[John]

It's mob mentality.

[Ian Bag]

It is.

[John]

It becomes a pat yourself on the back. I was there picture on your Instagram. It's mob mentality. I don't like any group of people. I probably agree with like something all of them think but in a group, they become weird. I don't like mobs. This is. I was in Jerome three weeks ago. They had a no King's March of protest going on there. I thought, what the hell are you doing in Jerome? Protesting. There's eight people live here. Nick's right. They started the haunted hamburger. Well, you wanted good pictures for you. Is that what that's called? Yeah. Well, they started at, you know, like, PF Chang's ear. Wait, the meat in Jerome has ghosts in it? Yeah. You never heard of the haunted hamburger? I haven't either. Yeah, I don't know that at all. The haunted hamburger. What the hell is that? I avoid Jerome. I don't like. I couldn't name a restaurant too many Maga. There's a shocker right there.

[Brady]

Yeah, I know.

[John]

Yeah. Yeah. I'm surprised. Well, it's such a long drive to that. Well, the only hamburger never do. I'm not a Jerome fan. It's not liberal enough for me.

[Brady]

How long's that been there?

[John]

The views are amazing. If you're going to have a march. There you go. And that's beautiful. That looks. Yeah, the 100. There are years, but, I mean, I think they've redone it and everything. Oh, yeah, they have. It's beautiful. Since 94. 94. Well, that's when they opened up.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John]

I've been to Jerome once in the last. Since I was a kid.

[Brady]

I went to one restaurant there, that House of Joy that was open for years.

[John]

No idea what it is.

[Brady]

It used to be a brothel.

[John]

We took a restaurant. I think all of it was a brothel. The whole place. What else is there to do?

[Brady]

Well, you either, you know, worked in the mine or went to the brothel and went to a saloon.

[John]

But isn't that what all mining towns were? Yeah, miners. And booze. And booze.

[Brady]

It's a good mining town.

[John]

That's. That's how you know you got it right. That's the three points of a mining town. I'm the same. Jerome's a great, like, motorcycle ride up to 89. That's great. And then once you're there, you're like, this is. This is it. I gotta ride back. We used to take people from Indiana. Our family would come visit, and we'd drive them up to Sedona and show them like, we built it. Like, look at this, huh? This is ours. I like it. And we live here. And then we would drive to Jerome some random way.

[Brady]

That's where Elvis lands. Everyone has different places.

[John]

Old house and Marilyn Monroe here. She fell in the water right there once. And then we'd go to Jerome, and I just remember my Aunt Connie came out like, oh, no, it wasn't Aunt Connie, it was cousin Chris. And she comes out, she brings her daughter, and there we go, piling the car. There's six of us in a goddamn Chrysler Cordo, but not enough room for six. Not even close. Truck it on up to Sedona. It's already a cruddy drive. And then Sedona's nice. Get out and you do your thing. Then to Jerome. And boy, you can talk about being mall legged at age 11. Trucking around Jerome with no care in the world about the haunted part. Miners used to live. I didn't know about brothels. I didn't care about brothels. I mean, when are we going home? And then we'd.

[Brady]

Another gallery.

[John]

Yeah, another gallery. Another hillbilly. Another trash can full of bees. My nightmare. And then we'd pile back in the car and sweat it out for two hours, heading home. And it was awful because my dad would never spend enough money to stay the whole night. We'd leave at 6 in the morning, get to Sedona, hoof around, grab like McDonald's breakfast. He's not buying anything good. And then we'd drive up to Jerome.

[Brady]

Go to that special McDonald's.

[John]

Yeah, the blue teal. The teal. It's the only one in America.

[Ian Bag]

Okay.

[John]

Why do I get the tour every time? Still the same food. I know, it's just McDonald's. I liked it. I was 11. That was great. And then that. How much longer? Shut up. No, Cousin Chris is sitting on me and. Come on. Gotta show them that tlacopaki. We don't fit back here, dad. Shut up. There's four, like big people. Shut up. You're gonna enjoy it. Sedona's beautiful. Can't you just enjoy the goddamn scenery? I know I can't see it. And Chris sitting on me. And the smallest one back here. This is killing me. That's Bell Rock. And then you're sweating and you realize you're not sweating, you're just. You got cousin Chris and her daughter sweat all over your arms because you're crammed in between them. No seat belt. Brutal. I don't get Jerome. And I certainly wouldn't drive there for a march. No, I don't care if it was to get Dua Leap. Well, I'll wait a minute. If there was a martial walk to Jerome. If it was a. Yeah, I would do a hunger strike. If Dua Lipa had a march in Jerome. I think I'd be on it. And it could be Dua Lipa's march for, you know, more Al Qaeda leadership in America. I feel like, you know what I'm marching. I'll close traffic in Jerome. There isn't any. This one says John. In my opinion, when you have to announce that you're done, it's just you wanting attention and you want someone to beg you to stay. Otherwise, you just leave. So to Corey, I say off. We're better off without you. Signed, Jason. Thank you, Jason. I agree. I'm leaving, okay? You better know it. Here, let me help you out. I'm. I'm serious. Bye now. Oh, you will pay. I've lived here for 20 years, and I'm walking out that door. Okay, bye. No, you're an asshole. Money's changed Nerve. Let me close my expensive door. All this money made me happier when that person walked out of my really expensive front door. Stupid. Anyway. Okay, chips is the word for 7am let's get to something that really matters. What we should be marching about. That dude on Channel three is still alive. That Jason Barry guy. I'm not calling for his death or anything. I wouldn't do that. But he's gonna get in trouble. He knocked Pacinos again. For. Oh, yeah, he's done. For the. For the food. Dirty dining. Yeah, dirty. Evidently they got knocked for, like, a dirty vent. And he's all on it. Pacinos is back on the bad boy list. Like, dude, you've got to stop saying that. It's named Pacinos. Stop it. Please stop getting on them. You're going to get your. I'm looking out for you, man. And. Yeah, and I don't understand that. Like, why would you want to attack the Italian restaurant twice? But Irish, huh? I don't know. Somebody did. Somebody in the. Like, an Italian did something terrible to his mother. There were three. There were some violators at El Jefe Tacos, but I don't go to El Jefe Tacos for the cleanliness. I want them to be a little dirty. And then there was a place called Sweet Magic Etta up in Scottsdale, which is at the Quarter. That's nice. And then there's one that I didn't know was a possibility place called the Kickin Crab. And I'm gonna give you some plug here because, I don't know, it's on Dobson Road. And they had violations. No certified food manager. Not a big deal. Employee food stored above food for customers. Dude brought his lunch, put it close to the other food. Can't do that. Outside food inside. Then another one was raw shrimp stored above boxes of potatoes. All right. Yeah. All right. That doesn't bother me.

[Brady]

Then this one, it goes into a shrimp oil.

[John]

Yeah. Potatoes and shrimp, they get along swimmingly, as far as I understand. That's an awesome combo. We can't do that pre. They're gonna put them in the same water anyways and just boil out all the problems.

[Brady]

Saving a step.

[John]

Holmberg's morning sickness. That doesn't bother me. Kicking crap. Your three violations so far, not so bad. Then this one. One, it says, 10 dead clams mixed in with the live clams. How do you know a clam is dead?

[Brady]

I thought they.

[John]

No, they've not.

[Brady]

Don't they arrive dead?

[John]

Yeah. Who's got live clams? And how do you know Frozen? I mean, the person that's most surprised about that is the owner of the kicking crab and the clam. Like, your clams aren't breathing. I'm like, I don't think clams breathe. And if you asked me, how do you know when a clam is dead? I'm like, I think she just lays there. Oh, no, not like that. What is a dead clam? Aren't they in shells? Does the shell just open and close? I wouldn't know how to. Is it kind of blue? Are its lips blue? How do you know when a clam's dead? And who's got the eye for that? There's 10. There's 10 dead ones in there with your living clams. Jason Barry does. Yeah. If I was the manager of the kicking crab, I'd be like, we've got live crabs. Yeah. You got 10 dead ones in there. I'm like, huh? Clams. Not crabs. Clams. When clams don't open, they're dead. Is that right?

[Brady]

Like, when you steam them, if you.

[John]

Have one that doesn't open, it's. But you have to cook them first to know. Not always, because you can see them. Like, they put them in water and they feed them like cornmeal until they cook them at the kicking Crab. That kind of care is going into clams. That's how you clean them. It's how you clean them. You put them in water and you give them some cornmeal, and then they get rid of their own sand and all that. They don't just show up, like Brady said, dead in a bag. Like, no, they're not dead. They're alive. When they get. When they come in the bag. Yeah. Everywhere I've. I've ordered clams.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John]

Which isn't often. They're alive.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John]

They have buffets of them.

[Brady]

Buffets?

[John]

You're never going to a buffalo. I know, but I've seen, like, clams on a. On a marquee. Yeah. Like on a buffet. King crab, clam, 7.99. Never seen. I mean, I've seen the fried clams because. Yeah.

[Brady]

I was picturing shrimp. When you bring in shrimp.

[John]

No. Living ones.

[Brady]

No. And then you cook them. They're.

[John]

They're fresh. At the kicking Crab on ice.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John]

I can't imagine that's true. They've got a clam tank. I don't know if they have a tank. Well, they know how they got to put them in water and feed them. You put them in a big pot. This place going out of business. It's called purging. They purge themselves of all their sins. Like Porkopolis. Having an actual pig walking around, like, just. Just order. Order it. Finished visiting the tables. And they've got a bunch of dead ones in with the live ones. But that's in every bag of clams. But don't you want your clams dead eventually? Right. Why not? To start. I'm fine with them being trucked over dead. Because if you give me a discount, I'll take 10 dead clams because that's when you. That's when you get really sick. Is if you eat the dead clams. It is. Yeah. There's Pacinos coming. Yeah, Pacinos is. Yeah, Pacinos is a. He goes after that Pacinos an awful lot.

[Brady]

Outro Mesa.

[John]

Three violations, Jason. Temperature. A container of Ve kept past its discard date. That makes me sad. A can of insecticide below the food prep area. A kicking crab. Yeah, there's the kicking crab at Dobson and Main and Mason. Adoption and Maine. They've got live clams. All right, calm down. That's that big Asian area right there. Major violations Crab had no certified food manager on duty. Why is he holding employee food stored above food? This is at the Channel 3 kitchen. He just wanders around, acts like he's clams mixed with live clams. His head's in a microwave. Nobody has kitchen cabinets like that in there. Boxes of potato kitchen. The restaurant is now on notice to clean up. Get your. That's the saddest one of all. That is that Pacinos had veal go past its expiration date, which is odd because that means it sat on the shelf longer than it was alive. Yeah, I don't like baby cows getting slaughtered and then throwing that meat away. There's no expertise.

[Brady]

Double wage.

[John]

You cook this, it's a crushing blow. Two adorable little calves, but feels so good. It's such a. How are you throwing that out? Make, you know, the day that expires. Make. Make veal for an employee. Don't toss it. That little cow didn't live in that box for eight hours just so you could throw his soft, soft meat away.

[Brady]

I wonder what the deal now. I want to know on restaurants, like how many dead clams are they throwing away at sea?

[John]

Did you know that?

[Brady]

I didn't.

[John]

I didn't either.

[Brady]

I just thought they came like again, like shrimp out of the boat. They freeze them, then you gotta cook them.

[John]

Yeah. Brent Crandall says, hold on. Toledo's the expert here. When did Sizzler ever serve clams? That's a good point. And if you're gonna go, who's the clam expert on the show? I'm not. Turn into Toledo. I'd have lost that fanduel. Better.

[Brady]

Right?

[John]

That's not my Seattle, I guess. Yeah. Very few restaurants have live fresh, never frozen seafood in Arizona. That's what I would figure. That's. Tom says that that's what I would assume too, that there's not a lot of guys shipping in living clams across the desert. Most of them are dead.

[Brady]

I mean, you can get them over here in a couple hours.

[John]

Oh, man. William might have found my sting point. So there's a march in Maryvale and a meet and greet with Dua Lipa. But the march is to promote dog fighting. Oh, rumor that Dua Lipa may even have a kissing booth. Traffic's backed up for miles. Are you gonna go promoting dog fighting? Might be my one point. I wouldn't do it with do it.

[Brady]

And are you hitting that kissing booth after a thousand people?

[John]

Yes. I'll just bleach your lips for a second. Who says I'm kissing her mouth? I'll just work the neck and earlobe for a minute. It. But yeah, I think. William, I think you win that one. I think I finally found my breaking point with Do a march for dog fighting. I don't think that's going to happen though. I think that's pretty far fetched anyway. Yeah. If you're eating clams, just know that evidently the kicking crabs got a tank back there with some cornmeal there. I don't see that. I don't think that's happening. And where does. Where do Clams get cornmeal in the ocean. They're not eating cornmeal. He's crazy.

[Brady]

They'll go for it, evidently. Sounds like it.

[John]

You throw cornmeal in the ocean, where do they. What do they eat? Otherwise, there's no corn in the ocean.

[Brady]

You got to be careful, though. You throw it in there, you get clam bites.

[John]

All right, stop.

[Brady]

They get aggressive.

[John]

Come on, Said. I'm not listening to Toledo. TV dinners don't have clams. That's true. Yeah, he's not exactly the, you know, Anthony Bourdain of the show. Might turn to Brady on this one and go, salisbury steaks. Yeah, Salisbury steaks and live clams we had to keep alive in a tank before the good folks at Swanson stuffed it in that tin. Toledo's changed since he's had money. He used to eat out of tin boxes, and now he's a clam expert. Stupid. I didn't know that, and he's probably right, but I just don't think.

[Brady]

Drink.

[John]

It's like when Brady chucks pumpkins into the mouths of hippopotamuses and thinks that that's. That's normal. Let's give it a steak.

[Brady]

So, oysters, would it be the same thing when they crack it open? Are they technically live? I don't think so.

[John]

Got me, man. I think when you say the word crack it open immediately. That's OJ. It's dead. Yeah. You can't crack something open and still expect it to live.

[Brady]

I know when you, you know, steam the clams, whatever, the shell opens up, and it kind of cooks it like the shrimp.

[John]

This. Yeah. This guy says, right, the clam is dead. The shell won't open and won't close when tapped. And I know that about clams, either. I just assumed restaurants picked them up dead like they do all the other meats. I've never gone to the kicking crab, but if I went in there, I'd be like, can I see your clam tank? And can I meet the guy who feeds it cornmeal?

[Brady]

Do they feed it like bass?

[John]

Pro shop every day at 2. All right, it's time to feed the clams. Look. Ooh, that sounds. Oh, this isn't what I thought I was. I'm in the wrong room. I should pull my pants up. Because feeding clams to me is totally different than what you're doing.

[Brady]

They'll flap up to the surface of the water.

[John]

So. Well, the seventh seal has been broken. Brady not knowing that a restaurant existed. I guess it means that it's it's no longer meaningful to all of us. Happy Friday to everyone except Richard.

[Brady]

End of the world.

[John]

The end of the world. This lady says. Miranda says I miss when the show was more misogynistic and didn't have any politics. As a woman. Can we get back to you talking about TNA and never mention politics? Hell, I'll take football over nonsense like that. Bring back the MILF contest, Miranda, you slut. My God, all she wants to do is disparage her own kind and then put them on display. I'm all for it. Technically. I wasn't talking about politics. I was talking about traffic. Thriller must be pissed. There's another Corey with the ability to walk normally and wasting it on marching. The audacity. A good point. Meet you at PF Chang's. We'll have some Chinese food and then we're going to democracy night. Anyway, the word right now is chips. Get on that, throw it in the promo code and make some money because everybody's after it. Then go get some of them delicious living clams over at the Kickin Crab. Because when I think quality clams, I think Dobson and Southern. What? When I go to the Kicking Crab, they're notorious for their desert clams. Remember when I said the thing about the dolphins in the desert when they put them out there and I'm like, this is not good. They're all going to die in the sun. And they did. I kind of feel the same way about dragon clams. Living. What truck is delivering this guy, like, sloshing ocean water and clams in it. And there's some dude in the back of the truck just throwing cornmeal in there and waiting to get it to crab.

[Brady]

Maybe they pull them out of the water and freeze them immediately. They just kind of go into a. They're not dead.

[John]

They're like sea monkeys.

[Brady]

Yeah. Like a frozen state.

[John]

So we anesthetize the clam and then bring it back to life. That's a fascinating. Seems expensive for the Kicking Crab to want to go through all that. Yeah.

[Brady]

Because I don't think they're delivering in. In a tank.

[John]

Yeah. Well, how are they getting them there? They are. You're probably right. They have to put them in some sort of state of. They have to reanimate them when it gets to the kitchen. No, he's. He's just. He's a. Yeah.

[Brady]

They're packed and ice, so they're still alive.

[John]

Back to Nice and then driven across the desert to Mesa, where people are clamoring for clams flown in daily. Is that right? Yeah, you can get them in a couple hours. The kicking crab has this. This. It must be a thousand dollars for a plate of clam. I don't know how they're doing it. I just know that that's the process. Awful lot. They fly in, like. I can understand clams, all of that. If they're in 44s doing it because it's flown in packed and ice. 80 or 90 bucks a plate. What you get there. But kicking crab throwing in. Somebody goes to the airport every day and gets kicking crab food.

[Brady]

Well, they're coming out. The kicking crab is also in California and Texas.

[John]

It's a chain.

[Brady]

A lot of delivery. Yeah.

[John]

They got planes flying all over with clams.

[Ian Bag]

You sure it's a chain?

[Brady]

I'm pretty sure. I think they have multiple questioning Brady on restaurants.

[John]

He didn't know about the clams. I got to give it to Toledo on that one. Toledo was hard.

[Brady]

He didn't know about the kicking crab.

[Ian Bag]

That's true.

[Brady]

No, I knew about the kicking crab.

[John]

Don't get insulted. Jesus.

[Brady]

It was the haunted burger.

[John]

Oh, that's right. Haunted burger. He was unfamiliar with that.

[Brady]

Two kicking crabs here in Arizona. Then they have them in one Cornmeal, California. Riverside, California.

[John]

Which they throw in there in the tank. It's not. Yeah, just if you're cooking them, it helps them purge. They purge their sand and all their impurities and stuff like that. No kidding. While they sit in the pot. Pot. They take a big. Because of the cornmeal. Yeah. No kidding. You'll see them. You'll see them.

[Brady]

They're so little clam dumps. Yeah.

[John]

Can you serve that? I didn't see Jason Barry talking about that. Well, you don't bring them in that water. Yeah. I don't know, like. And then we went to the kicking crab. Stop it, Jason. I hated everything back there. And then cornmeal not being served properly to the clams. Who knew? I think it is different with oysters, by the way. Yeah, I don't know any of that. That's crazy. I just figured oysters have to be shucked. Anything in a. Forced to be open. I assumed everything in a strip mall restaurant was already dead. I've never been in one where there's living. Not in that area. No kidding. All right. You're talking. Dobson. That's the Asian area right there. Everything. Right. No, I'm not saying dead business. I'm saying dead inside. Like they don't have living animals inside. I'm fascinated by that. They've Got live crabs.

[Brady]

Yeah, they might have a crab.

[John]

Kevin said I work for Alaska Airlines. We download craploads of boxes of oysters every morning for Buck and Ryder.

[Brady]

Oh, there you go.

[John]

That sort of makes sense. I just. I think I want my clams to be super expensive. Or dead, that's what. If they're living, I'm gonna be pricey. Oh, yeah, I'm fine. Nuts. How about that? Well, get on it. Kicking crab or get used to this noise. That dude is relentless. He keeps coming back to Pacinos, and he's gonna get up, gonna things aren't gonna go well for him if he does that. That's the second time he's been over there and keep coming over, drag him back in. They hear that door open in Pacinos. Jason. Barry, Channel three. Oh, what do you want over here? Barry? Let me take a look at your veal. It's got an expiration date on it. But it's today. We were gonn later. Now he's mean. How would you like to be Jason, Barry? His wife. Honey, I'm home. I've got the weekend off. Oh, that's great, Jason. Want to go to a restaurant? I suppose you're gonna wear your mask. Nope. I'm going right in.

[Brady]

He gives her a list every morning of the violations.

[John]

You call this french toast? Three violations and a gong.

[Brady]

We have dead bams in our refrigerator.

[John]

I see your lunch from yesterday stored above my lunch. Kitchen witch didn't have a food handler's card. I am your wife, you bastard. Imagine if he came into Tony Roma's back in the day, didn't wash your hands after handling beef. Jason, that's another. Sorry, honey, I can't stop. And he never talks. The dean's list, they always go back to yeta and Jared. All right, let's talk about some good restaurants that passed instead of Jason's. You know, obsession with making you think everywhere's awful. This place, a server walked past the st, Put his coke down. Son of a.10 violations. If that dude walked into my restaurant, I'd be like, hey, there's that Jason Barrett. He thinks we're gonna serve him food. Anybody haven't jerked off for a couple of days, I want to give him a good one.

[Brady]

And every week on the dean's list is dinero's seafood.

[John]

I see we're in trouble again there. Pacinos, De niro's. How do you do it? You're always on the dean's list. Oh, I don't know. We keep it clean. We Pay Jason. That's proper payment. That's what we do. Jason Barry's car pulls up in the parking lot. I don't like anything I'm seeing right now. Somebody drop that kid. Good luck out there, Jason. But if you're Jason Barry's wife, you have eaten a lot of boogers. Oh, you have eaten a lot of bodily fluids, Mrs. Barry. And it's because your husband won't stop going on tv, showing his face and talking about kitchens in the Valley and hitting that bus and just buzzing the Tara. The guys working hard. Money's changed Jason Barry. What do you got on the big board of musical treats there? Oh, I got one over here. This was just John. You got to stay grounded like Brady. Money didn't change Brady at all. He still tries to barter his Brady Sauce for everything. Well, that is his money, so it is. How would a booger apple pancake cup eating Mariner jinxing Ass Toledo know anything about good clamor? His ex wife, however, she knows a clam. That's true. She turned to clams. Well, maybe that's why he did all that studying, because he used to drive people to clams. Fresh ones. He was stuffing cornmeal in her the whole time.

[Brady]

50 pound bags of cornmeal.

[John]

He knows clams have cornmeal because his ex wife used to do it to dry up. I won't let you in there. I'm full of cornmeal.

[Brady]

I'm buzzing you on that violation.

[John]

Cornmeal in the vagina. Three violations. Jason Berry needs to review prostitutes. Bumps on the thighs. Her food stored over her cans. Didn't wash her hands after handling my meat. Three violations.

[Brady]

Stored her lunch in.

[John]

Stored her lunch inside her anus. Owner garage had three violations. She's got one month to clean it up. Clam filled with bumps. Yeah, I wouldn't want to be Jason Barry. Not even close. I would less want to be his wife. And she lies about her name all the time. I have it to go. What's the name, man? Jason Balooi. You're not Jason Barry's wife, are you? Oh, God, no. I hate that man. I hear the buzzer in the background. You're Jason Barry's wife. Lied to my wife on the phone. Two violations.

[Brady]

That's the horn on his car.

[John]

Yeah. Oh, my God. Barry's in back chasing food trucks around. Exhaust pipe cut for noise. What do you got over there, Brad? All right. Wake Up Song brought it to you by Action Dry. So sorry, Josh. All right. Sorry Josh it is. You know, weather's gonna be amazing this weekend and it's time to hit the trails. The Haas trailhead is open and it's gonna be fun. But head on over to Action Ride Shop right there across the way at Power Road. McDowell. The new bikes are in. You need your bike repaired. You need the gear to get you up and going. Action Ride Shop is the place to be. They got all kinds of deals going on right now. Plus, don't Forget about the OG right there on Gilbert Road in Southern ActionRideshop.com check them out on all the socials. They're gonna take care of you. Action Ride Shop. A lot of King songs. Anthrax for All Kings. Avenge Sevenfold. Hail to the King, Kill the King from Megadeth. Absolute Zero from Stone Sour. Angry Again for all the marches this week. Kings and Queens from Aerosmith. And I mean kiss. We got Kiss. Detroit Rock City. We got to give juice Crank. No, you did you crank last week. Shock Me from Ace Freely. And let's do Mastodon's playing tonight. Let's do a little deuce. All right. I like that one. I'm not a huge KISS fan, but, you know. And they are now part of Night of the Singing Dead, which is crazy. You know, we always get a last minute entry and that'll happen October 31st over at Desert Ridge. Copper Blues. You can get your tickets. I don't know how to do it. We'll figure it out. Copper Blues, Desert Ridge. Google it. And then go buy tickets. And actually they're selling out really fast. I didn't know that. We looked yesterday. I'm like, a lot of people bought tickets and expectations are high. And once again, I'm telling you, lower those. I'm warning you, don't go in there thinking this is going to be. It's going to be fun. But I don't like when things sell out that quickly. Then you got to try, like kind of a half empty room. The gas isn't bad. It's about right.

[Brady]

Some dead clams.

[John]

Yeah, dead clams in the back. And Jason Barry's in there. What's he singing Deuce wrong for? It's not even an ace freely song. Two violations. Yeah, kiss. Ace freely passed away, 74 years old. Brain bleed. I bonked his head, right? He hit his head, caused a brain bleed, which is previous and that brutal. You don't want to do that. And would you like Live Deuce or Studio Deuce? I like Studio Deuce.

[Ian Bag]

All right.

[John]

It's a good one. And yeah, it's weird because the members of the original members of Kiss passing away. And you had a week ago, Gene Simmons almost. And he showed the pictures of that wreck that Gene Simmons had that wouldn't. He hit that thing pretty good. It sounded like he just hit a parked car. He hit another guy sleeping behind the wheel because he passed out. And it's a pretty good wreck. Paul Stanley even said, I'm surprised Gene's still with us. That's a pretty dangerous thing to have happen. Going to sleep on that road he was on. But, yeah, the members of Kiss are starting to go. And Ace freely dropped out. This is a good one, though. This is Deuce. Gotta like this for a Kiss song. I got no complaints. So long, Ace. It's been a tough year for music, that's for sure. It's 98. It's out of control now. 98. Okay. You P.D. h. Morning sickness. I had him in the death pool I don't know how many years ago. And he is just still thriving. That is just strange to me. Puddle of mud right there. And I thought for sure we'd lose him. He went nuts twice. Usually that second time going nuts is the ending. But what nuts? Calm down. Like, I'm all right. Then he went nuts again. Like, if Charlie Sheen goes nuts again, we'll know this is it. Wes has done it a couple times for puddle him up.

[Brady]

Well, there's that here. The Charlie Sheen, the most recent. He's been dating a. A man for the last couple of years.

[John]

Yeah, that's been a part of that documentary. Was him saying, I banged dudes.

[Brady]

He did. And now they're saying, oh, he's been actually in a relationship.

[John]

Yeah, he likes the.

[Brady]

Whether or not.

[John]

Likes the pees. What do you mean? Whether or not? You think that's a lie?

[Brady]

Well, because the. It was tabloid that put this out.

[John]

I like how you say that.

[Brady]

The tabloids.

[John]

Yeah, but it could be. I. You know, so what? Yeah, but you think maybe it's. He's going crazy again and that's why he's eating.

[Brady]

I think he's trying to be. I mean, he's definitely enjoying being back into the limelight in a way.

[John]

And that led him straight to.

[Brady]

But I. I just think if you watch that documentary, like, you know, his parents and Emilio, the ones that are like, look, we don't know what to expect here.

[John]

Sure.

[Brady]

He's. It sounds.

[John]

We hope that works out because the documentary, they don't say any.

[Brady]

Nothing about the relationship, so.

[John]

Yeah, well, they don't say a word. So it's Assumed they're like, we don't know what this. They just might not have wanted to be part of. Of it.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John]

But anyway, Charlie Sheen is. He's in town right now and I'm here. Welcome Charlie Z. Good for him. I like Charlie's movies. It's a thing. And by the way, I found out Toledo told me why he knows so much about clams. He accidentally searched clam cucking. He put in shucking and Lou and he learned that. What's this? And it taught him a lot of things. So it's been waiting about seven years to use all this information. Finally it happened on the show. It's eight o'. Clock. By the way, the word for the eight o' clock hour this morning's flying by as band B A N D. Not B A double N E. I'm not even gonna spell for because you'll get confused. Band like what a great band. Not as in everyone is banned. B A N d is the 8 o' clock word. Get on that thing. You got 40 minutes starting right about now. It should open up right as it turns eight on that computer. Some people email and go, it's not working. It's not working. It's because it's not technically eight on your computer for another seven or eight seconds. So hop on that and just keep trying. You got 40 minutes to figure it out. Don't email me that it didn't work the first time. When you've got 40 minutes, figure it out on your own. Call it. Do what you do. But hop on that app. We've got all that money waiting for and somebody's going to take it today, take our money, take it in the app and you can hop on that right now. Banned band. Right now it's time for Brady to give you all the news that Brady knows. It's called the Brady Report and it's brought to you by our [e-mail] all pro shade. The guys from All Pro Shadows chatting with me. I've got an idea at my house now. I want to do one. But they're all over the place. 20 years in the business putting up shades, doing all sorts of stuff. Their new commercial is also hilarious. Showed it to me yesterday where they talk about how the privacy. Have you seen. Yeah, yeah. With the guy dragging the dead body. Oh, it's fantastic. What work as a Halloween theme. But he's dragging a dead body and he looks and he notices that somebody's looking and then he just puts the shades down and says privacy for Whatever you want to do. Ah, that's pretty great. It is. It offers privacy, it offers shade, it offers comfort. It's basically like building an Arizona room without an ugly Arizona room. You know, you got something really nice that makes your house value go up and also gives you more living space outdoors. And that is what it's about at this time of year. Outdoor living, man. This is why we're here. So get it as good as you can. And all pro Shade can help [e-mail]. that's where you go. Brady reported.

[Brady]

Good Friday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello, world. We've made it. Happy National Pasta Day.

[John]

Oh, congratulations, Brett. Thanks. What are you gonna make? I should took the day off. I'm going to Pacinos. Hey, Brett, I gotta warn you. That guy in the corner's got a quick trigger finger. Four dagos in the kitchen, four people in the back with blood on their hands. Jason, I think you need to leave Pacinos. It's time for we get Jason Perry a special meal. A special Jason Barry off the menu plate. How many times you're gonna come to Pacinos and start to bang us around, Jason? Why? It's not me. It's the health inspector. Yeah, but you're the one with the buzzer, you piece of. What pasta would you do do if you were to recommend one for National Pasta Day? I'm always a. You know, I. I always like ravioli. You like the ravioli? Hardest one to make. Tortellini's opinion. I don't know why. That puts the curves in there and stuff. Yeah. Oh, no. I'm saying tortellinis are easy. They just pour them out of the bag into the water. But I'm saying the raviolis are tough because if you screw that up, when you pour the bag in the water.

[Brady]

Water, they're really soft out of the can.

[John]

Oh, and the can. They're perfect. Just. You can actually just do like Ed Gein does. Heat your stove and put the can right on it. They're both. I don't know why you'd sit out there with your. Your wap hands trying to curve up some ravioli. How many raviolis do you make? If you're making ravioli, it's gonna take 12 hours. The class year made 500. 500.

[Brady]

Do you make many raviolis?

[John]

No, they're regular, regular, regular big ones. And with your hands. Well, you just. Yeah. I mean, you put you. I mean, I make the dough, I make the cheese, make everything. Yeah. Man, oh, man. That's too Much. Bro. That's what I do on Christmas break. That's. You just make raviolis. I'll have the entire. But yeah. A couple days before Christmas. The whole entire break just. It's pumping raviolis.

[Ian Bag]

Horrible.

[John]

I can't imagine. Especially when they sell it right there in that. What is.

[Brady]

It's a labor of love.

[John]

It is. Thank you. Brady. That introduces incredible Chef Boyardee. He makes those just hit the bottom. Hear that noise? You're basically. I can eat it right out of the can. Cold. Sometimes. Jason Barry can kiss my ass. Oh yeah. Ass kissing in the kitchen. Two violations.

[Brady]

It's also a national payback. A friend day.

[John]

That's what Pacinos is going to. Hello, Channel 3. We're Pacinos. We'd like to deliver some meals for you. We. Thanks for all the free time. Our friends over here at the Kicking Crab would also like to join us. Want some clams, Barry? I'll bring them home to the wife.

[Brady]

Couple of baseless fun facts.

[John]

Oh.

[Brady]

Your lungs are symmetrical. The left lung is smaller.

[John]

Asymmetrical.

[Brady]

They are not symmetrical. Sorry.

[John]

Asymmetrical.

[Brady]

The left lung is smaller. Smaller and has two lobes. The right lung has three. Because your heart is where the middle lobe on your left would.

[John]

Would be. You have no idea what you're saying.

[Brady]

They're not symmetrical.

[John]

That's right. That's it. We can stand there. We don't know where lobes are and what the picture. Can you get those pierced?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John]

Probably. Your lung lobes.

[Brady]

Any lobe you can get.

[John]

I suppose. Lobes are pierceable.

[Brady]

Pierce your uvula.

[John]

Do they? Do I understand that? Do they? Why did you bring that up? That's the thing hanging in the back of your throat.

[Brady]

That's kind of like a low.

[John]

You would pierce that throat lobe.

[Brady]

There's only one state capitol that doesn't share any letters in the state. It's the capital of.

[John]

Holy cow. That's a thinker.

[Brady]

It is.

[John]

It's. So any letter in the whole state?

[Brady]

Yep.

[John]

So it'd have to be. Well, those O's in Columbus. What's the question again? There's the capital of the state. Spelling has no letters that the state has something like a small. That war torn organ.

[Brady]

Salem.

[John]

Oregon has ease. Salem has ease. This is hard. Olympia. No. Washington has Idaho.

[Brady]

What'd you say?

[John]

Idaho. God, that's tough. I don't know.

[Brady]

Pierre. South Dakota.

[John]

Dakota.

[Brady]

Son of a.

[John]

The forgotten state. That's still a state. Is that still. Are they still open? Are they. I don't know if they're open still. I think they might have shut down. I don't know why there's a North and South Dakota. They both suck. Well, I don't know. They both suck, but there only needs to be a singular. Yeah, I'm with you on that Dakota. Let's just do it. What's with both Dakotas? Didn't Trump want to combine Dakotas at one point? I wouldn't doubt it. I think that was early on. He wanted to combine the Dakotas. I think Christie Noem, about that. You've got all that Dakota and there's nobody there. Why are we. California has 40 million people. Dakota has like 18 people. Why are there one glorious big Dakota?

[Brady]

People who work in offices without windows sleep an average of 46 minutes less than people that work in offices with windows.

[John]

Huh. You know what? I want to retire and do those. I want to find out who's like, what do you. What do you do for a living? I just watch people in their offices, and if they've got windows, I monitor their sleep. What are you, a sociopath? You're free. I follow them home, Follow them home, and then I time their sleep. Finding some amazing stuff about Windows versus no windows.

[Brady]

There's two new polls on Halloween spending, and it's not a cheap holiday, especially for parents. One poll found the average person who celebrates will spend $289 on average. But the. That includes parents and non and non parents.

[John]

Huh? It's everybody.

[Brady]

That's an everyone poll. I don't know why they.

[John]

Either you are or you aren't a parent. There's no reason to like, that includes everybody, parents or non parents. That's all of us.

[Brady]

If you're celebrating without kids, I'm celebrating.

[John]

Without kids every day.

[Brady]

It's 190.

[John]

You're celebrating without kids. You're not a parent. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, I. That's a good point. I. I misread one of the marches. I thought it was no kids march, and I actually did sign up for that. And then I saw that. Oh, it's. You got the flyer. Yeah. By the way, Winston, our friend Winston has emailed in and kind of expanded on Brady's lung lobe thing. He goes, you know, left boobs are bigger. That's why I love heart side booby. I don't know that's a real thing. But now I want to monitor heartside. Boobies are bigger. Is that a real thing left? Is he saying the left one? Yeah. The heart side boobs are the better. Boobs. Boobs or the Bigger boobs. Bigger is better. Huh? And you can get those pierced. And then you shove cornmeal in her clam and you go to sleep. That's what Toledo taught me.

[Brady]

And now it's time for some science news.

[John]

Okay, who's carrying Brady?

[Brady]

Hello, my friends. Professor Brady Bogan here with your science news. Science, Population, Popular Science did a deep dive in how corn mazes are made. It used to be simple. Just cut a path. But now a lot of farms use GPS to do it. There's even a tech that tells tractors where to not plant seeds, so there's no cutting required. The corn just you plant it. The seeds to make the patch.

[John]

Huh.

[Brady]

So in other words, when you. You basically set your maze up.

[John]

Yeah.

[Brady]

I knew that just by planting the seeds, it'll put the grid, and you just put the seeds.

[John]

Oh. So you don't go through and mow out the maze. So it just grows in the form of the thing. Oh, okay. And that's the technology, is when the field's empty.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John]

The thing just drops seeds to build the. The beetles or whatever they're doing.

[Brady]

Yeah. Because. And then the other way they did it, that was a couple years ago. They would GPS it.

[John]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And then take an aerial view. Yeah.

[John]

They'd put in the coordinates of the corn thing, and then the tractor would go through and mow it out. It's actually just amazing. The GPS tractors and stuff they've got. When you see what goes on in real farming is amazing. By the way, I noticed the folks over there by Lost Our home Rescue. They. They plant corn in their front yard, on their very small front yard. And this. This summer was rough. They tried. They tried a new crop of something, and it died somewhere in July. I noticed a few weeks ago, as Amy and I go back and forth and we drive up that road, they put corn back in, and it's thriving. They did an excellent job. It was very funny to watch a typical Arizona neighborhood front yard, which is just a postage stamp, and the rows were hoed. I'm like, oh, new crop going in. Came in corn. And I'm super proud of them. This. This is going to be a big one. Last year, they had pumpkin chickens, and they just sat in front of their house for months, rotten and stuff. What in the. So the theory is left side boob.

[Ian Bag]

All right.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John]

Is that Margot Robbie coming out of the bedroom? And Wolf of Wall street and her heart. Booby on the left. I mean, I guess you'd have to feel. It does look a little bigger, but I Think. Yeah, like her angling. That is a fantastic picture of a person.

[Brady]

In space news, Elon Musk's giant starship rocket had its 11th test flight. It went very well. Scientists also found there might be more rocks inside Uranus.

[John]

How many times do we have to follow?

[Brady]

Can we get Neptune?

[John]

Can we get things to throw at him?

[Ian Bag]

Like when that happens? Bricks.

[John]

Like big large cinder blocks. Okay. Cinder blocks. Yeah, I'm okay with that. Fists. Yeah, you'd think twice about doing that. We're going to change science news to Kirby's. No, he wouldn't. He wouldn't. He'd still do it. Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Brady]

An astrophysicist at the University of Maryland do it. Has a new theory why aliens haven't contacted us yet. He says maybe we're just kind of basic.

[John]

They look at us and then we're the Taylor Swift of the galaxy. Great. We're like the groundhogs at the zoo. We probably are. We're prairie dogs. They're interesting for a second, but I'm not getting involved. That's. That's a pretty good theory. I think that they looked at us and went, there's got to be something else. We're just a bad TV show.

[Brady]

A study found Oz. Ozemp. Ozempic. Might blunt the effects of alcohol. Keep you from getting drunk so fast.

[John]

Oh, great idea.

[Brady]

Another cell.

[John]

Yeah. Oh, it's a cell. You can drink yourself to sleep and not know it. And lose tons of pounds while your bones decalcify. Guys, female listener here. This is some of the best radio I've listened to in forever. But I love how a man chimed in on boob size. Idiots. My right one is bigger, not my left. Okay, okay. Get it figured out. We are familiar with breasts.

[Brady]

Man, it started out so good.

[John]

Maybe you're deformed. Lady. You think you've touched anomaly. You think you've touched more cans than this room? No, I. I guarantee you she hasn't. Or she's Lesbrind. That's not my business. But I think as far as a variance of breast touching, this room is more qualified to talk than just your lopsided right can looney tune. Leave it to a man to man splain breasts to me. I'm like, I'm looking to men for that. We pay more attention to them than you guys do. You just feel to see if they're sick. You're not really into them. We're into them.

[Brady]

You get them smashed all the time. The biggest news in science is international team of Researchers figuring out how to create universal kidney.

[John]

Hey, Brady. Your algorithm's kicking in to save your life.

[Brady]

You're still perfecting it, but it would be huge for people waiting for on transplants.

[John]

You.

[Brady]

Anyone could give you a kidney, no matter their blood type.

[John]

Oh, boy. That's good news for the black market. Now anyone will do. Oh, yeah.

[Brady]

They can basically convert the.

[John]

So how's your negotiations going?

[Brady]

No, done.

[John]

Yeah. Wait, I gotta. Wait, wait, you couldn't line one up though. It's like two years.

[Brady]

No, you can't.

[John]

Oh, you gotta wait 10 years.

[Brady]

As far as lined up, there's been numerous people that said, I'll give you.

[John]

Oh, sure, but you can't have one for a couple years because of the cancer spot. They're not putting a good kidney in a guy who might have cancer. Right.

[Brady]

You gotta let it clear.

[John]

Oh, I thought you said make sure it doesn't come back. Gotcha. It doesn't have it right now, but if you got it again. So they give him two years, they figure, all right, he's ignored him for two years. We can stuff it. A dead kid's kidney inside Brady, and he'll live for another 10 weeks. How long?

[Brady]

And then. And then at that time, two years from now, if the kidney's still functioning.

[John]

You got your hopes up that this other one's going to stay strong. You think it's going to rebound?

[Brady]

Hoping it rebounds a little more. What are you shaking, cuz?

[John]

It's not. He's going to need. Kidneys don't get better.

[Ian Bag]

Come on.

[John]

He's gonna be 175 pounds in two years. It's. He's doing the right thing. Kidneys don't get better. Read about them. They're horrifying. When Brady got this, I started doing more research. This is exactly because I knew he wouldn't. And boy, oh boy, they're not. How often you got to go in and get tested, see if it's gone.

[Brady]

Twice a year for the next three years and then. Or two years and then the check Three. Once a year. Yeah.

[John]

So twice for two years for the next two years and once for the next three years starting now. So four times and.

[Ian Bag]

Yeah.

[John]

What? You're nodding? Yes.

[Brady]

Four times in two years.

[John]

Okay.

[Brady]

And then three times in three years.

[John]

After the four years. Yeah. So you should have just said seven times over the next seven years.

[Brady]

It's over the next five years.

[John]

No, five years. Okay, there you go. Just get your kidneys checked. He's gonna need a new one. That one's not gonna stay good. So kidney disease doesn't go. We're, we're. We quit. It just keeps going.

[Brady]

There's a Florida woman in Gainesville, Florida. She's charged with battery after a physical altercation with her boyfriend. This happened last Sunday morning. The sheriff's deputies responded to reports of a person screaming for help inside a home. They found the victim shaking and out of breath with injuries to the neck, arms and back. Maya Taylor was her name. She became physically aggressive towards her boyfriend, arguing over alcohol. They said she picked up a pair of scissors and threatened self harm arm, but then went after her boyfriend. And according to reports, he began to scratch, punch, and bite his genitals.

[John]

Hey, just the genitals. He couldn't get out of the way. She had three different moves and he just stayed there for all. Made a power move and scratch, punch and bite and clamped on. I might get you a scratch, you might even get a punch in, but you're not doing all three. Once you drop down low for the.

[Brady]

Bite, how many of the three you.

[John]

Think gets in on here?

[Brady]

She was chomping.

[Ian Bag]

First one.

[John]

This broad? Yeah, yeah. She's going to surprise me with the scratch and then land a punch because that's both hand work. So we can go left, right with that. The second she drops down to go, I'm bonking her in the top of the head. You'll allow the scratch on the fact that it could have been an accident.

[Brady]

I'm also saying he was really drunk.

[John]

You've got two hands. What I'm saying is you got two hands. Left hand scratches, right hand punches. That's going to happen. Boom, boom. When she drops down for the bite, she's catching a knee to the face on the way down saying, or she's getting hit in the back of the head.

[Brady]

He had to been so hammered he could barely move.

[John]

She starts to gnaw in your boss.

[Brady]

Chompers are getting near.

[John]

Even when things are going well. If she's getting a little toothy, she's running the risk of taking one on the top of the melon. Are you biting this? What are you doing? By the way, Winston says tell that floppy breasted lady listening her heart is probably on the right side a little bit. Yes. My guess is, Winston, that her heart's somewhere down by her hips. Yelling at us about boobs like we don't know. I'm insulted.

[Brady]

I got a couple of radio videos.

[John]

All right, go.

[Brady]

First one's a.

[John]

Stretch.

[Brady]

First one's a downhill skiing accident.

[John]

Oh, you got the Ones from yesterday. Okay, I got those. Okay.

[Brady]

I was gonna say you didn't send it.

[John]

We're going downhill. Oh, you got to turn off the science news. This guy's going through the slalom. He's got the slalom course and he's.

[Brady]

I think it's a woman.

[John]

Oh, it's a woman. Okay. It's in Spanish, so we don't know. Oh, it's in slow mo. She hits the first gate. Loses. Loses a ski. Knee is already broken. Yeah. One. One of her legs is a Z. As she tumbles in slow motion towards the camera with the Z leg. She's out cold. Busted the other half of her leg. Oh, my God. Body. Oh, Lord. That thing is just fl. Like it is National Pasta Day and that noodle is cooked. Slides on her head. That lady is not in good shape after that.

[Brady]

No, I know you and Brett will enjoy the next one. It's a giant volleyball.

[John]

Huge.

[Brady]

And kids, kids.

[John]

Oh, it is a massive volleyball. And it just took out a plane again.

[Brady]

Just brush them off.

[John]

It's a third world child to go. Goes. Oh, this 400 pound volleyball falls from the sky and puts his face in that awful third world dirt he lives in. Good news is it's the best meal he's had in a long time in that dumpy country.

[Brady]

The last one is foot cheese. Yeah.

[John]

Oh, this is the bottom of a foot that is very diseased. And they're gonna scrape it, aren't they? Right onto some black, like. Oh, so you see it all. Oh, my God. That is a cheese grater. That is. All that is is a giant cheese grater. Bought that at Harbor Freight. That isn't the kitchen bath store.

[Brady]

They got it at the tent sale.

[John]

That's the beyond of the.

[Ian Bag]

Oh.

[John]

Oh, my Lord. What? What is that disease that your feet grow according to? Literally, Parmesan Psoriasis. That's psoriasis. According to the comment. Holy Moses. I see, like, a dime sized version of the Parmesan growing on my foot. I'm definitely looking into options. I'm not going to let it cover. Tip to. To heal. Man, oh, man, that's gross. All right, Brett, close it up. All right. By the way, the word for 8 o' clock is banned. B, A N D. Get on it. You got 20 more minutes. Go ahead. We'll start off with this one. Oh, a little Pepsi challenge. It's a girl with four. There's milk, yogurt, and two questionable drinks. She's sipping on the milk. That's just milk. She's guessed the first One. Correct. The second one through the straw in the mystery box of drink. That's just yogurt. She's right. That's yogurt. Two for two. Let's go to the third mystery beverage. Oh, my God. She's drinking an awful lot of it. Oh, she's finished the whole glass. That's a tricky one. That's a tricky one. She's not gonna guess on three yet. Number four. Another mystery glass. That's definitely my brother's one. Oh, come on. She said the other one was her dad. She said the second one is her father. She drank milk, yogurt. Her brother and her dad didn't see that coming. Pardon the pun. Send that to everybody we know. That's a good one. That's a tricky one. She says cuz she wasn't sure. All right, here's. Okay. Naked masked lady bent over a some. Oh, she's loogie. Oh, she's bent over the. She's face to face. Oh, she's going to loogie in this guy's mouth. Oh, he looks like a baby bird. Oh, God, no. Oh, she's just. Oh, my God. Oh, she. She can't hack. It's like when she's got popcorn hull stuck in the back of her throat, forcing it too much. Oh, that's four. Just.

[Brady]

Okay.

[John]

@ least she didn't produce. God, whatever. You're saying that right? You're a pig. Oh, what did your to do to you? Oh, all right, this next one. Oh, my God. There's a.

[Brady]

What is between us?

[John]

There's a fat guy laying there, and a lady's got that belt trick to make the belt hurt all over the top of his wiener. I've done that. She's holding it with her feet. Oh, that's good. That is very satisfying. She is hurting that guy with a belt. He likes it. Yeah, that's pretty much it. He stays pretty aroused. The hole. He doesn't finish when going to. And then that girl comes by and guesses and then start. Let's just go with this. All right. There's a. Wow, that's a massive butt plug in a woman. I mean, that's the size of a dish. It's like a plate. Oh, my God. She's giving birth to a neon cactus. Mario. It all fell out. It's about. There's. There's the after. There's the after. Look at that. It looks like. It looks like.

[Brady]

Oh, it's like. It's a wound.

[John]

It's like a giant bomb. Pop a popsicle Although this doesn't melt. And then it comes out of her bottom. And then the after effects of it is just devastating. Just. Yes. Just scorched earth back there. Now, that one got. I got out of my chair. I didn't realize I was standing up. Oh, here's somebody pooping out chips or something onto a plate. Their butt is incredibly shiny. And another person. Yeah.

[Ian Bag]

That.

[John]

They're pooping out potatoes onto a plate with cigarette butts. Look at the rosebud coming out. The rosebud's trying to push out. Push out the last potato chip. There's somebody sitting down watching this thing next to the plate. What? What is that? I think it's potatoes. It does look like cut potatoes. Papas stored over the shrimp. Three violations. Is it auto food delivered from an anus onto a plate with ashtray remnants? Two violations.

[Brady]

But then is the second. Oh, what else set up for. Is that. Next up, chickpeas.

[John]

Couscous. Oh, my God. Oh, there's a little poofy on that one. I didn't see that. That other potato had some rabbit poop on it.

[Brady]

Why do they know what those chickpeas are?

[John]

Why is her butt all like. Her butt cheeks are lubed up. Like the whole thing is all shiny. That's all you got? That's all right. Thanks for that. Yeah. I literally got up out of my chair and didn't know I was standing. Your videos make me want to run. That's my brother. Completely classless. I loved every second of it. Yuck. That's my brother. And that's my dad. That's the Japanese game show I came up with years ago. Five wangs hanging out of a wall. Five glory holes. Sight, touch and taste. You have to guess which one is your father, you get a million dollars. There was that Australian radio show that had that father and daughter on there, and they offered him money to make out and they did. It was gross. The word for the next 15 minutes is banned. B, A, N, D. And you put that in the promo code right there on the app for the 8 o' clock square. And then 9 o' clock, we do another one. Is Ian in? He's coming to today.

[Brady]

Yeah, he's here.

[John]

Ian Bag is here. I love him. He's Canadian. 10pm Prov this weekend. Glorious. We're going to talk to him next. It's 98k. There goes your Brady Report. It's out of control now. Hold on, Ian. Here we go. Don't say anything horrible. Horrible. We're talking about glass trails and habit Trails and things like it happens. Ian, look at who's here. Ian Bag, everybody. Citizen Ian Bag. I'm just going to put it out there. Citizen Bag, we call him. Citizen Ian Bag is here.

[Ian Bag]

Question 100.

[John]

He's at the 10pm Prof. Don't let his accent fool you. He's from Minnesota or something.

[Ian Bag]

He's from Seattle.

[John]

He's here tonight at the 10pm for off and tomorrow as well.

[Ian Bag]

Oh, I'm staying two days. You can't get rid of me. Can't wait to go to the the walk anyways.

[John]

You're going to do the kings march?

[Ian Bag]

No, I'm just going to go script traffic.

[John]

Just on your own?

[Ian Bag]

Yeah, yeah, I heard, I heard somebody's all fired up at you.

[John]

Yeah, I got a guy mad at me because I said I don't want the kings marches.

[Ian Bag]

Just do one because 18.

[John]

Come on.

[Ian Bag]

If you know how it works. Everything has got to be a challenge now.

[John]

Yeah, that is true.

[Ian Bag]

So can we make it bigger and bigger and bigger? I, I, I love it. It's going to be fantastic. And you, where are you going on a Saturday morning?

[John]

Anywhere I want. But now I can't.

[Ian Bag]

I know where you live. You're not going to get involved in any traffic. O Old man river over there. You guys go home and enjoy a pr. How dare you.

[John]

Road hogs.

[Ian Bag]

I was going to go to PF Chang's at 9am and you guys with your loving, loving, your loving ways.

[John]

I just want. Well, I like the good old fashioned marches. If it doesn't have a fire hose at the end, it just doesn't count.

[Ian Bag]

It's a good time.

[John]

That's when the fun stuff.

[Ian Bag]

If you don't wash your hippies.

[John]

Yeah. If you got to wash a hippie, let's call it a hippie roll.

[Ian Bag]

But the shame is it's just not hippies marching anymore. Because hippies used to make the marches.

[John]

Slow and now they're charged up.

[Ian Bag]

They gotta get things done. These people, these people are. I guarantee it's over by noon because these people that go to these marches now are just getting to the march, getting it done. Letting people.

[John]

It's convenience. They're expediting the march. But do you think that a march. If it's.

[Ian Bag]

So what's going on? Is it anti gay?

[John]

No. Yes, it's an anti gay march. Finally all queens. No queens. No, they haven't.

[Ian Bag]

Don't be mad. We're just joking in here.

[John]

No, we're not. We meet mean it. I mean this, this, this is.

[Ian Bag]

I Had no idea. I got booked on Rush Limbaugh.

[John]

Welcome to the EIB Network. Ian, you are a Canadian by trade.

[Ian Bag]

By trade, I'm a Canadian, that's right. But an American, I may, I, I'm not saying where I'm from because I want to leave this place.

[John]

Yeah. Do you get nervous? You said you little get nervous.

[Ian Bag]

I get nervous about ice.

[John]

If they showed up right now, would you go?

[Ian Bag]

I'm completely, completely. I would, I would, I would hide in here and Is that right? No, I wouldn't hide near. I'd just walk out. I, I, I am completely legal. But things, it's, it's nerve wracking. It's nerve wracking times out there.

[John]

Look at you guys.

[Ian Bag]

This is the most Arizona thing I've ever been in.

[John]

Well, are you legal? Yeah. I hear the whole aboot nonsense and I'm like, wait a tick. Is he stealing our job?

[Ian Bag]

I'm in. I'm in for the boot.

[John]

All right, sure, Z. I see through you.

[Ian Bag]

I'm an immigrant is what I am. I'm married to an American girl. I've lived here for, I don't know, half my life.

[John]

And yet you still do you truly, honestly, kind of like. I'm not real comfortable around this.

[Ian Bag]

I don't, I just don't think it's fun what's going on right now. I don't think, I don't think anybody should be thinking this is fun.

[John]

Only it's fun.

[Ian Bag]

Some people are giggling. I don't, I don't think you should.

[John]

I think jump ropes and lollipops and hot air balloons. I don't think it's like a party, but.

[Ian Bag]

Yeah, it's not, it's not that. It's just, you know, you know, I mean, it's just, it's just, I think there's simpler ways of doing it. Not upending families. But I'm not here for that.

[John]

Yeah, that's right. Get me off this. All right, all right. I've taken you down the ice road. Let's talk about what. Let's talk about what you asked me. Abortion. Let's talk about what you said you were here for. I am here for your weekend of abortion.

[Ian Bag]

I'm working as an abortion doctor this weekend.

[John]

You're doing a march. And it's like when they do a spay and neuter clinic. They just, you line up and one.

[Ian Bag]

After another, just, just getting them done, getting in lines.

[John]

We're doing free ones out of my truck.

[Ian Bag]

Love it.

[John]

No, the world is too screwed up. That we.

[Ian Bag]

Nobody does. Nobody does backyard colonoscopies.

[John]

Great idea.

[Ian Bag]

It's just a guy that almost became a, a GI doctor doing them in his backyard.

[Brady]

I really get the dentist.

[John]

I would argue.

[Ian Bag]

Yeah, says the guy that's got no teeth.

[John]

The toothless man.

[Ian Bag]

I would argue that you understand where that guy's at. Why? Because he had it done at the Home Depot. Just got, just got a couple of pickets in there.

[John]

I remember when the daily show first started. I always talk about this guy. And they did a segment on regular Americans, and they found a guy in Montana who was afraid of dentists. But his hobby was rock polishing, and he combined the two by putting gluing and screwing rocks into his gums because he was the dentist would hurt, hurt him. So he had these rocks he'd painted white in his mouth as his teeth. He pulled all his teeth himself. And, like, it caused so much more problems than just going to the dentist.

[Brady]

He went with sandstone.

[John]

Yeah. Hillbilly Grill. But I would argue there are backyard colonoscopies, I think. Oh, yeah. Over on 7th and Melrose here in town. I'm pretty sure that's going on a lot.

[Ian Bag]

I I a friend of mine, our friend where at least Lisa, she was telling us. She stunning woman, tall, blonde, stunning girl. And when she was younger, she had to get a colonoscopy, but she had no health insurance, right? And she, they, they gave her the option, you know, gas or no gas, you know, like, are you gonna be awake for it? And she's like, you know, poor. She's younger and she's poor. So she goes, I know, gas, I can't afford that, right? She gets there, she sees all the doctors. She said, they're all handsome. She goes, yep. I gotta be knocked out for this just because they're gorgeous. Otherw been a bunch of ugly guys. I'll stare at you right in the eye as you're looking in there. Bunch of gorgeous guys. She didn't. She didn't.

[John]

She couldn't face the judge, right?

[Ian Bag]

She didn't want to get all fired up while all the handsome guys were checking her.

[John]

A good woman would be prepared for that. A good woman, she would have been okay.

[Ian Bag]

I don't like marches, and I like good women.

[John]

I like a lady who's prepared and ready for that at any time.

[Ian Bag]

I like a lady with a good set of hips on her.

[John]

I like a lady who can handle a pop quiz colostom one of those dudes. Like, it's like, big surprise. We're doing it now. And she's like, I'm ready.

[Ian Bag]

Oh, you got. You got to get knocked out for that. Don't care if you're a good woman.

[John]

Or a bad woman or just a woman.

[Ian Bag]

Not even a woman.

[John]

Not even a woman. Just knock me out.

[Ian Bag]

Gotta be knocked out for that.

[John]

Yeah.

[Ian Bag]

Somebody's gonna fill you up with air.

[John]

Thanks a lot. Yeah.

[Ian Bag]

You're gonna hear the dings from the gas station because it's a backyard thing.

[John]

The air going in.

[Ian Bag]

We're able to take a look up there now.

[John]

Have you had one of those? I have. Have you?

[Ian Bag]

I brought it up because my wife. It was our anniversary the other day. My wife. Wife plans or colonoscopy on my honor. I say birth my birthday on her anniversary. On our anniversary.

[John]

I'm like, huh, that's an interesting way to get around that.

[Ian Bag]

I was like, I always wanted to try that area, but I had no idea that's how we're gonna do it.

[John]

Well, they say birthdays, New Year's, and anniversaries are when you're supposed to be back there. But she decided to let someone else.

[Ian Bag]

We go, we go. We go the other 362 days.

[John]

Nice. All right. Almost a year.

[Ian Bag]

Give her a couple. I give her a break on those things, you know?

[John]

I mean, on those days, I give her a break on those ones. Come on.

[Ian Bag]

If you're shutting down because of this, that's the way you should be shutting down. This is a filthy show. We should shut this down. Not because the guy made. I don't like. I don't like people getting my traffic. How do you like your traffic without people walking in the streets? That's how I like it.

[John]

And then you followed up with, I give my wife's anus three days rest a year. I let him break.

[Ian Bag]

I let it break for three days a year.

[John]

Just clubbing me over the no Kings march in traffic. But let's just. Let's focus on what Ian bags.

[Ian Bag]

And now. Is she a good woman?

[John]

She sounds like a wonderful woman. She sounds a wonderful woman.

[Ian Bag]

Right there. That's a. That. My friends. My friends. And. And I'm sure I'll tell her about this afterwards. She will not find it funny. I'll call her up. Hey, guess we talked about you on the radio.

[John]

Yeah. You better not talk about my body again. Again. Does she. How long you've been married?

[Ian Bag]

14 years.

[John]

And she doesn't care about your job anymore at all.

[Ian Bag]

No, I didn't.

[John]

Are you still funny to her? Do you think?

[Ian Bag]

Every so often I do get her to lose it, and it's my goal in life is to make her lose it.

[John]

Right?

[Ian Bag]

Yeah. But most of the time it's just.

[John]

Like, oh, my God, now you look at it.

[Ian Bag]

Can you not say that? She's one of my friends. She's hilarious.

[John]

Is she? That helps.

[Ian Bag]

She's dark.

[John]

Really?

[Ian Bag]

Way more dark than I. And fast and sleuth. Just, you know, just like, bam. And then you, like, 10 minutes later.

[John]

Yeah, I got no legs. She swept him.

[Ian Bag]

Yeah.

[John]

Yeah, I like that. But that's the thing about, like, after, like, the reason they liked you in the beginning. Oh, my God, he's so funny, and he's this. And then after a while, it's like they don't laugh anymore.

[Ian Bag]

Oh, yeah. I love it when, if she comes to a show, which she barely ever does, unless it's involving some sort of body of water, like, she'll go. She'll go, oh, oh, you're going to Hawaii.

[John]

I'll go to that one.

[Ian Bag]

I'm like, come on. Come on, girl. You go to Iowa. You want to be with this one.

[John]

You got.

[Ian Bag]

You got to deal with the bad places.

[John]

My weekend in Des Moines.

[Ian Bag]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. And, oh, my God, that's a good weekend. You know, Garth Brooks once took me down there when I was in Des Moines.

[John]

Is that right?

[Ian Bag]

He did. He did. So I did. Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Well, Garthy, he decided to do Thursday, Friday, Saturday as well. And two shows a night. Garthy did. So he was doing over a million people a night, basically, because he was at a football stadium, pumping them out. And I'm just trying to grab 275 a show, and I'm just getting four people that couldn't afford Darth Brooks tickets. Right. And the traffic was horrible, so nobody wanted to come in that area.

[John]

Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ian Bag]

And then recently, I think Jason Aldean, I think, did it to me not too long ago.

[John]

Is that right? They show up when you're in town.

[Ian Bag]

Yeah, they don't check my schedule.

[John]

You think it's to get you.

[Ian Bag]

There's a.

[John]

There's a conspiracy. Those country people, that the country people are after Ian back.

[Ian Bag]

Yeah. Yeah.

[John]

I would not fight that. I think you might be honest. Are you excited about the Toronto Blue Jays? Ah, yeah.

[Ian Bag]

Nothing but a bad guy. Nothing gets me excited. But more than a game.

[John]

You love the BJ.

[Ian Bag]

Oh, my. I love the BJ's. Oh, Toronto BJ's are bad. Shoresy. The whole time you do it, and I. Baseball's boring to me.

[John]

You don't like baseball?

[Ian Bag]

No, it's. It's a game where they make you stand up.

[John]

What?

[Ian Bag]

It's such a boring game. They make you stand up almost halfway through the game.

[John]

It's like everybody get up so you.

[Ian Bag]

Don'T get de deep vein thrombosis. That's how boring it is because they know nobody's going to have. Every so often a girl is flaunts fall out of her top. A girl wear a tube top to a baseball game and the announcer o.

[Brady]

Take a look at the right field.

[John]

Is that right? I watched a lot of baseball. I don't remember that announcer. He's good. I like him.

[Ian Bag]

This game is so boring. I'm going to scan the. They did scan the.

[John]

Hey, there's one. Take a look at that. Yeah, I know. I gotta watch baseball with you because I'm. You gotta come over.

[Ian Bag]

I think I should come over. Yeah, come on over. Not to this weekend. No, no. It's gonna be bad.

[John]

That's gonna be terrible. Too many marches.

[Ian Bag]

You're just gonna sit in your house and complain.

[John]

I was gonna go see boobies with you. You're never gonna watch boobs in the crowd. But so many marchers.

[Ian Bag]

It's Halloween. We call them boobies right now.

[John]

Yeah, yeah. Do you have kids? I don't even know. No.

[Ian Bag]

You can't breed this.

[John]

Yes, that's what I like. You didn't ever want them.

[Ian Bag]

End of the line.

[John]

Wife never want them. Good. Never had a dispute over this.

[Ian Bag]

My children, she was like, I'm good.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Ian Bag]

And she's, she's an occupational therapist, so she's, she sees interesting. She's mine.

[John]

Yeah.

[Ian Bag]

Yeah.

[John]

I think that's the medical.

[Ian Bag]

The funnest of the fun. I call them.

[John]

The best.

[Ian Bag]

And the mathematicians.

[John]

Oh, good. I like that.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Ian Bag]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[John]

But you never wanted them either.

[Ian Bag]

I, I, I, this is serious again.

[John]

No, it's not. You can make fun of it.

[Ian Bag]

I'll tell you why I didn't want kids. My father, who's my mom, is not. But my father was a fantastic father.

[John]

Yeah.

[Ian Bag]

And everybody's like, well, you're a comedian. You must have come from a horrible family. No, I had a great family. My mom was. My mom had a bad growing up, so I got her sense of humor.

[John]

Right.

[Ian Bag]

But I just didn't feel like doing. Chasing my dream was good. For having killed.

[John]

Killed. Having killed children.

[Ian Bag]

No, but for having killed. Guilt for, for, for having kids. Like, I just didn't feel like I, I was, if I was running off Running, you know, it was. It's a very self centered view.

[John]

You recognized your selfishness and said kids shouldn't be part of this. I'm way too into Ian Bagg. Yeah.

[Ian Bag]

Because my dad was. Didn't take other jobs out of town because, you know, he wanted to be there for us as kids.

[John]

He sacrificed.

[Ian Bag]

And I'm like, I'm going to Tempe. I'm not here graduating from high school, but I go to Tempe. I gotta go do comedy where that school is with the girls running in.

[John]

Of those. I gotta go. I like that.

[Ian Bag]

I gotta go find your new mom down in Tempe.

[John]

That's right.

[Ian Bag]

Goodness, those are the kids. Hookers in my hotel.

[John]

Is that right?

[Ian Bag]

I was just wonder, like just. I was just looking while I was waiting for the car this morning and some interesting ladies were leaving to come to the radio the same time I was like, there might have been some sort of shift change.

[Brady]

They're downstairs right now.

[John]

No kidding. Well, the improv's putting you up in the finest place I know.

[Ian Bag]

But it is a nice hotel.

[John]

It's a nice hotel. Filled with hookers.

[Ian Bag]

Filled with hookers. And don't get mad. I know they're called ladies of the.

[John]

Night, but it was morning.

[Ian Bag]

Yeah, it was morning. I'm like, I had never seen them. I just thought they just went back to bed.

[John]

I thought they were nocturnal. I've never seen one in the daytime.

[Ian Bag]

No, they're fine. They're not as. It's not as exciting in the daytime.

[John]

Breakfast hookers, they're like, oh, oh, somebody.

[Ian Bag]

She'S not doing a walk of shame.

[John]

I don't like the old ham and egg hooker, you know, I like a steak and potato hooker. I like a nighttime hooker.

[Ian Bag]

I. I don't know what if. If you describe it like, that one sounds a little thicker.

[John]

That is true. Well, maybe that's why I like the.

[Ian Bag]

Steak and potato girl.

[John]

Yeah, I don't. Yeah, I don't want my breakfast. They don't call them ladies of the morning. You're not starting your day with a prostitute.

[Ian Bag]

You know what they call them ladies. And sometimes people get tricked and they're not.

[John]

Anyways, let's move on. Ian bags at the 10pm Prov tonight and tomorrow.

[Brady]

Over easy.

[Ian Bag]

I like my women like. I like my eggs over and easy.

[John]

Crack them in half and pour them all over the bed. Scrambled ChampionPro.com is where you go see Ian bag.

[Ian Bag]

I like a hollandaise sauce.

[Brady]

I'll poach them.

[John]

I'll make it Myself.

[Ian Bag]

I don't care. I know it's mostly but.

[John]

Hol's morning sickness. Oh, my God. What else goes on in your world that you want to talk about? Well, I don't want to offend you anymore.

[Ian Bag]

Getting a fence done on my house.

[John]

You having a fence finished?

[Ian Bag]

Oh, yeah. Just, you know.

[John]

You know what was going on. You're putting up a fence?

[Ian Bag]

Well, no, I'm replacing a fence. Right, okay. Yeah. And then.

[John]

Too many Mexicans.

[Ian Bag]

No, I had one.

[John]

Putting up a wall.

[Ian Bag]

I'm putting up a wall. This Canadian.

[John]

Don't need to mix with anybody else.

[Ian Bag]

I had a fence, and I had this one guy come over, and he said, that'll be $52,000.

[John]

For what?

[Ian Bag]

Yeah. And I just. Like, what? He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I must have had his buddy come over, and he's like, $51,000.

[John]

That was the second quote.

[Ian Bag]

And I was like, oh, it looks like we're selling this house and not getting. Anyways, it's Gonna cost me $14,000.

[John]

How'd you do that?

[Ian Bag]

I got another guy to come over. He goes, oh, yeah, that's simple. Just do this, do that. And I'm like, oh, I want a design. Well, it's gonna be 2,000 more.

[John]

I'm like, ah.

[Ian Bag]

I just gave him a hug, and you just made me so happy.

[John]

So this cheap guy's gonna. How much fence are you putting in? Oh, acreage, couple of miles. Yeah.

[Ian Bag]

Well, Arizona to New Mexico.

[John]

$14,000.

[Ian Bag]

I'm getting it done. Hello.

[John]

That's a great get.

[Ian Bag]

Yeah.

[John]

And what are you keeping in or my dogs? Just your dogs.

[Ian Bag]

My dogs got a French bulldog and a pity.

[John]

Yes.

[Ian Bag]

And they will run out to talk to everybody, and my wife gets. Gets mad.

[John]

So what's wrong with the current fence?

[Ian Bag]

You know, it's got a lot of rot, and it's falling down.

[John]

Oh, it's a wooden.

[Ian Bag]

Yeah, it's a wooden. I'm going wood again.

[John]

Oh, are you? Yeah. You like a strong wood?

[Ian Bag]

Oh, I'll show you afterwards.

[John]

I want to see your wood. Yeah, yeah. So you're gonna fence stand up.

[Ian Bag]

Look over. I'm gonna show you my fence. I'm gonna show you.

[John]

Look at it. That's one of the boards. He's exposed.

[Brady]

That's good.

[Ian Bag]

I've been whittling that a while.

[John]

That'll keep the neighbors away.

[Ian Bag]

That'll get the neighbors over.

[John]

I believe that's what you do with a backyard anal exam is what you were talking about earlier. You have to have a Fence like that.

[Ian Bag]

I never even thought about it as an anal exam. I always thought it was an. An annual. I'm not good with spelling.

[John]

No, you came in the wrong thing. Yeah, that's not a deal.

[Ian Bag]

I'm going to the Now Kings parade.

[John]

Now Kings. It's everybody. It's an election. Ian bags at the 10pm Prov tonight. Tomorrow. 10pm Prov tonight?

[Ian Bag]

Tomorrow.

[John]

What were you like as a kid? You're just like the studious. No. Will you ever get through a class day without getting kicked out of something?

[Ian Bag]

I remember I was in the fourth grade and I made Shannon Butler laugh. And I was like, this is fantastic. Then I spent the rest of the year trying to make her laugh.

[John]

Was she hot?

[Ian Bag]

Oh, oh, Shannon.

[John]

Oh, Ms. Butler. She's the one that got away.

[Ian Bag]

I grew up in the middle of nowhere in Canada. There was like three good looking girls. Shannon was one of them. She did not get away.

[John]

She got her choice.

[Ian Bag]

She. No, she had the choice of everybody. Like, I. I had no chance. Pants away.

[John]

That's.

[Ian Bag]

I. I was the guy that made her giggle. I wasn't the guy that was making her giggle.

[John]

Yeah, so. Yeah. When. When did that happen? How did Ian Bag start to become a man?

[Ian Bag]

When I went fourth.

[John]

No, no, you didn't bang anybody in the fourth grade. When did Ian find the way?

[Ian Bag]

Terrible story.

[John]

Yeah.

[Ian Bag]

I'm in Australia.

[John]

No kidding.

[Ian Bag]

17 years old. My. My cousin Tyrone.

[John]

Oh, I don't like this at all.

[Ian Bag]

Tyrone, as I call him, he kept coming, having girls come over to the house. We all stayed at my grandfather's house. And I said, hey, where do you get those girls? I go, they're hookers. You want to meet one? That's how I lost my virginity.

[John]

With an Australian hooker.

[Ian Bag]

Yeah, it was fantastic.

[John]

Sounds great.

[Ian Bag]

I think my cousin paid for it and everything. It was one of those things.

[John]

What were you doing in Australia? Besides that?

[Ian Bag]

It was in my family.

[John]

Oh, your family?

[Ian Bag]

I stayed. I graduated high school and then I went for a year to Australia.

[John]

Okay.

[Ian Bag]

Figure out what I was gonna be and.

[John]

So you went through high school in that small Canadian town?

[Ian Bag]

Yeah.

[John]

No luck? No, nothing with the ladies. They were just a funny.

[Ian Bag]

Not a closer.

[John]

Yeah, not a closer at all.

[Ian Bag]

I was opener.

[John]

She was the closer.

[Ian Bag]

And everybody else was closing.

[John]

Yeah.

[Ian Bag]

I was just like. I was that guy that just says heidi on a car lot.

[John]

The greeter and you meet the sales.

[Ian Bag]

I was like, that's a nice car, huh? And then a guy just pushes me out of the way.

[John]

I'll finish this kid and so then you go to Australia and the prostitute and then the next time after that.

[Ian Bag]

Did you think probably about four years later? Probably took me another four years. Like 24, 22, 23.

[John]

Well, they want to prostitute. Yeah. You leave me alone.

[Ian Bag]

You leave me alone. Because I was a late bloomer.

[John]

Restraining orders in Australia are two and a half years. Yeah, they got back together.

[Ian Bag]

Well, it's Australia though. They just send you to New Zealand. You can't get to them anyways.

[John]

Would you ever live in Australia? I loved it there.

[Ian Bag]

I thought it's fantastic.

[John]

My favorite place is in all of the.

[Ian Bag]

It is good. I don't, I don't like the toilet situation there.

[John]

Why? Because it goes wrong way. Poop. Well, while I'm in Australia, tell me why.

[Ian Bag]

There'S. Toilets are a little high, a little weird and I don't know know. I just never had a good movement.

[John]

You didn't. You couldn't get a good quality movement. Couldn't.

[Ian Bag]

Just couldn't, you know, just get back to America and let me tell you.

[John]

Let me have a good toilet.

[Ian Bag]

There we go.

[John]

Yeah. 15 days in Australia and I pooped once.

[Ian Bag]

That's what I'm saying.

[John]

But it wasn't cuz Australia.

[Ian Bag]

It must have been huge.

[John]

It was pretty nice. But I don't go anywhere.

[Ian Bag]

Kills you in this country. You're just looking at it.

[John]

It's a brown snake in there.

[Ian Bag]

Look at the size of that.

[John]

Yeah, it was a, it was a weird experience there because I didn't have, have to. I don't know why that is.

[Ian Bag]

That's what I'm saying. I, I'm one of those guys, you know, if I'm not going once a day, I think something's going on.

[John]

Is that right?

[Ian Bag]

Yeah, I'm like panic stricken.

[John]

Oh, God. No kidding.

[Ian Bag]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[John]

You get nervous if it's not that the function.

[Ian Bag]

Yeah, the plumbing's got to work. How do a lot of. How do a lot of places. How do they. How do, how do countries and, and, and things fall apart? Plumbing, if you got, you got to pick up, you got to pay attention.

[John]

That's true.

[Ian Bag]

As the plumbing goes, that's, that's when everything's back.

[John]

If you've got good plumbing, you've probably got good leadership.

[Ian Bag]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why you go to Nashville. It smells like poop there. I'm very concerned about.

[John]

Does it.

[Ian Bag]

Have you ever been, you guys.

[John]

I've been there, but I don't remember the poop.

[Ian Bag]

Haven't been on that one street. You're just like, oh, my.

[John]

Broad Street.

[Ian Bag]

Yeah. No, Broadway.

[John]

Broadway.

[Ian Bag]

Broadway.

[John]

Right. Broad Streets, Philadelphia, Broadway.

[Ian Bag]

Yeah. It's Broad street because there's nothing but girls and shorts and cowboys.

[John]

That's why they named it there. My God, look at the brightness.

[Ian Bag]

Look at all these cows.

[John]

Riddle. Go down to Broad Street.

[Ian Bag]

Let's go down to Broad Street. Go down to Kid Rocks.

[John]

Yeah. Karaoke and make your own dinners on the corner of Broad and Hood.

[Ian Bag]

Broad horse hookers with massive shoulders.

[John]

Yeah. Nashville stinks now. I don't remember it ever.

[Ian Bag]

Every time I've been there.

[John]

No kidding.

[Ian Bag]

I'm always shocked and surprised.

[John]

What other cities scare you that their plumbing's going?

[Ian Bag]

Definitely New York.

[John]

Oh, yeah. That's wild.

[Ian Bag]

Definitely Philadelphia.

[John]

Yeah. Philly's always kind of smelled though.

[Ian Bag]

Those, those, those old places at Baltimore for sure.

[John]

Oh, Baltimore, please don't get me started on that.

[Ian Bag]

Yeah, yeah, that dump.

[John]

Oh, Baltimore would do better if they had poop air freshener because it smells like brackish water. Crab meat.

[Ian Bag]

I thought you're gonna say they should put their plumbing above ground there, show people what's going on.

[John]

It would be called beautify Baltimore if they had plumbing above this. That place is awful. Worst in the city. Worst. There's Toledo, Ohio, Baltimore, Maryland, and Tucson, Arizona.

[Ian Bag]

I think plumbing should be above ground and electrical should be below ground.

[John]

Okay.

[Ian Bag]

Right.

[John]

Why?

[Ian Bag]

Just to show people what's going on. Just let them know. Know this is what's coming out of you.

[John]

Yeah, but then you get all that and your house.

[Ian Bag]

Yeah. No, just flow down the street like that. Still in a see through pipe, you weirdo.

[John]

Oh, so you want it to be in a tube?

[Ian Bag]

Yeah. So just so people know, this is what.

[John]

This is what's going on.

[Ian Bag]

This is what freedom's all about.

[John]

Right here. This is what's keeping us clean.

[Ian Bag]

That's the freedom right there.

[John]

That is kind of a like a reminder as you're walking down the street.

[Ian Bag]

I think. I think if we forget just how people just forget how amazing plumbing is.

[John]

Isn't it unbelievable all the things we take for granted.

[Brady]

I don't like the poop tube here.

[John]

Yeah, the poop tubes are filthy. And Philly. Yeah, you're right, though. We don't take any. We don't take anything for what it is and how valuable it is in our lives. It's underground and it's forgotten. Yeah.

[Ian Bag]

Yeah. It's amazing when I do a show and somebody goes, I'm a plumber and people laugh and I'm just like, he's the Most important guy, you're having a Christmas dinner. You got a bunch of friends. You got some bad pipes and. Got some old clay pipes, and a tree's getting in there. So suddenly it's blocking everything up, and everything goes sideways. It's your big family Christmas dinner. Who's gonna leave their family, come over and fix your place? That's a hero right there.

[John]

That's exactly right.

[Ian Bag]

He just says, family, I'll be back in a while. I'm gonna shower when I get back.

[John]

Is he announcing baseball games, too? Oh, my.

[Ian Bag]

By the way, that Brockmire show, do you watch it?

[John]

Oh, I love Brock.

[Ian Bag]

I just re. Watch it every so often because it is so.

[John]

The very first episode.

[Ian Bag]

Shameless.

[John]

Oh, Shameless. And Brockmire is like. That is like a dark person's favorite weekend. Brockmire's first episode. If you're not hooked on the first episode, you're not gonna.

[Ian Bag]

Yeah, you gotta. Sam Harmon, my wife.

[John]

Yeah. Oh, my God. He starts when he goes off Brockmire.

[Ian Bag]

You know what's great about that? We recently. We moved. That's why I'm getting a new fence. And we moved into a new house. And the other night, we're walking across the street there, and we hadn't met the people diagonal from there, and then they go, oh, do you guys live there? Yeah, we do. Oh, my goodness. I watch your tv. That's what she said. You guys had all. You guys had all your trees trimmed. And I can see through my house. I can see through your.

[John]

She's watching your TV from her house. Yeah.

[Ian Bag]

So all that's going through my head is, what are we watching?

[John]

Yeah, and we watch Shameless.

[Ian Bag]

I leave Shameless on for the dogs, right? So there's nothing but coke being done.

[John]

And heroin and boobs and hillbillies. And she's like, well, that's why she's watching. Maybe she's deprived. You got to get over. I said that.

[Ian Bag]

I said we watch. We watch Shameless a lot. I apologize. She goes, oh, I love it. Oh, I watch. I watch the. The House of Old People. Girls, whatever.

[Brady]

Golden Girls.

[Ian Bag]

What's. What's. What's that something?

[John]

Wives. Housewives of Housewives. Yeah, Housewives of Atlanta.

[Ian Bag]

She watches that. And she goes, I feel terrible. Terrible about it. It's so stupid. I can't get enough. And I'm like, huh?

[John]

Yeah, well, turn your head in your house and watch your own tv. You should walk around naked once.

[Ian Bag]

I do.

[John]

Do you? Yeah.

[Ian Bag]

Not once.

[John]

Just constantly.

[Ian Bag]

My wife is always yelling at me. She's like, hey, the curtains are up. People are gonna see it. I'm like, they should be looking in the middle.

[John]

You know what you should do? This would be fun. Have the windows wide open. And you know when Gladys across the street's watching and just have a Home Depot bucket. And you're naked and you turn on Shameless and you just sit on the bucket for a little while, naked. And then you get up and look in it and shake your head and walk away. See if she ever brings that. I saw you with the bucket, Ian. I see you.

[Ian Bag]

I see you guys pooping.

[Brady]

A bucket.

[John]

I saw you pooping. Is your plumbing bat. I know a guy. Are you entertained? Then you just close the curtain.

[Ian Bag]

Just the ring.

[John]

Just the ring on your butt cheeks, Ian. Bags at the time.

[Ian Bag]

Are you guys bidet guys?

[John]

Oh, I love bidets. I'm getting. I'm getting a new Japanese toilet. I'm getting that thing put in here pretty soon.

[Ian Bag]

And it's got life on it.

[John]

Yeah, well, already got a good price. I've already. It's got. It's in the mail.

[Ian Bag]

That's why you should be at that parade, because. Because of the chair.

[John]

You guys should see this. It is unreal. And it sings to you and it lights up and it's.

[Ian Bag]

What language does it sing it to you?

[John]

And whatever you want, it can p. You can do Japanese. It can sing to you as anything you want. It praises you.

[Ian Bag]

What's up? It doesn't praise you.

[John]

Why do you put this in me? Yeah, yeah, it's. But I don't know what it is. Beautiful, comfortable. I want that feature.

[Ian Bag]

Can you. Can you make. Can you. Can you actually put noises into it?

[John]

I'm going to try now. I hope so. Make it a sound effects machine.

[Ian Bag]

I put the thing on my phone. I. I put the thing on my phone. I can put it on. See if this is able to plug in. See if it would.

[John]

Oh, no.

[Ian Bag]

See if it does.

[John]

Oh, yes. I tweak sleep power.

[Ian Bag]

When it plugs in. That's what it said.

[John]

My phone says you just plug the thing in to charge.

[Ian Bag]

Doesn't matter where you are.

[John]

Ah, yes.

[Ian Bag]

That sweet, sweet power.

[John]

I love that. I want my toilet to choke.

[Ian Bag]

Not what I was expecting.

[John]

Ian, it's always a pleasure.

[Ian Bag]

Are you kicking me out?

[John]

You gotta go. It's time to go. But before you do, change the world.

[Ian Bag]

I want to stay.

[John]

No. Give us words of wisdom. You're out. You're done. We're done. Really?

[Ian Bag]

Yeah.

[John]

We gotta get rid of you.

[Ian Bag]

Was it Something I said.

[John]

Yeah, it was a lot. It was a lot.

[Ian Bag]

And also, I started charging my phone. I hear you're like, okay, he's gotta go. He's taking our sweet, sweet power.

[John]

He's sucking up all the juice. We gotta ice in the parking lot and it's time for you. Icky, Icky. Change the world. Give us something that changes the planet for the better or worse.

[Ian Bag]

Okay, here's what it is. Just.

[Brady]

Just.

[Ian Bag]

Just come out to my show.

[John]

That's it. Just. Just buy tickets.

[Ian Bag]

No, no, no. Make sure you laugh.

[John]

I.

[Ian Bag]

That guy. There's a guy, a basketball coach that died of cancer many, many years ago, and they do a fundraiser for him every year, and I can't remember his name.

[John]

Jim Valvano.

[Ian Bag]

Yeah. So Jimmy V. Jimmy V. Laugh, cry, think. Every day. Right?

[John]

Listen to that.

[Ian Bag]

Yeah. Yeah. You got. If you don't. If you're. If you don't cry at least once a week, wrong with you.

[John]

It's true. If you don't cry once a week, there's something wrong. Yeah. Yeah.

[Ian Bag]

Gotta cry. Something's gotta. I don't cry a lot. I think once a week's fine.

[John]

You cry once a week. Yeah. Just for fun.

[Brady]

What was the last time. What was the last thing that got you.

[Ian Bag]

The other day, I cried because I was. I was scared that I was. I was forgetting my mom.

[John]

Ah.

[Ian Bag]

You know.

[John]

Is that right?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Ian Bag]

I was just like. Because I'm not used to death.

[John]

Yeah.

[Ian Bag]

And my mom died in. In February.

[John]

Okay.

[Ian Bag]

And I just. I was just like. I had a week where I didn't think about her. I was just like, God, I'm forgetting about my mom.

[John]

Yeah.

[Ian Bag]

It's so quick. I don't want it to. I don't want it to.

[John]

And started to make you cry, making me cry.

[Ian Bag]

And. And then. And then it's like, I'm not forgetting my mom. I just. I forgot. I didn't forget my mom. Right. So it works.

[Brady]

Makes you think.

[Ian Bag]

And then for the rest of my life, I'm just goofy as.

[John]

That's all right.

[Ian Bag]

You're good.

[John]

You went all the way through it without cussing, and in the end, you went all Canadian ice. People are like, oh, no.

[Ian Bag]

Oh, no. That's weird.

[John]

I believe that's. That's an FCC violation. Ian, I think you have to go home.

[Ian Bag]

You guys want me to leave?

[John]

I'll leave.

[Ian Bag]

I just broke that. And I said the S word.

[John]

Ian Beck, thank you, as always. Oh, you're good. We're good. We're fine.

[Ian Bag]

You're allowed to say that?

[John]

No, but you know, look, Brady will pay the fine. You're good.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Ian Bag]

How. What's the fine?

[John]

275,000.

[Ian Bag]

Okay. We're gonna need to have a fundraiser.

[John]

We gotta have a march.

[Brady]

It's $14,000. One fence.

[John]

Yeah, it's one fence for a backyard is what it. Oh, no. Thank you. Ian, always a pleasure.

[Ian Bag]

I ruined it by swag.

[John]

Same.

[Ian Bag]

You got.

[John]

Powerful rocket. It's out of control now. 98 KUPD. Hberg's morning sickness. Morning sickness word for the 9 o' clock hour is coin. C o I n coin. I'm doing like speaking spell now. The word is coin. C. Oh, I am going. You get on that and you get that done and you get yourself some money today. Later we're going to give the money away. And then Shannon's here at 2 o' clock and he's got a few more words for you. You pop them in there. How easy is this? Words. It's like a vocabulary Monday in second grade when you get your vocabulary words to learn for the week, we're giving them to you one at a time. You put them in there, you spell them right. The next thing you know, you're in a drawing and a lot of you are blowing up our app. And we couldn't appreciate it more because it keeps the Bob happy. And when the Bobs are happy, they don't call or involve themselves in any of our radio programming. So it's Bob Repellent to do this properly. If you guys could just keep downloading that app for us, tell friends to do it. Have people who don't listen to the station download the app all the time. Just please Bob repellent away. And keep these jackasses who don't know what they're doing off our backs at all times. We would really appreciate that. It's time for the entertainment drill. It's brought to bear [e-mail] the home of tactical black self defense training. We talked about people attacking each other and doing all sorts of crazy stuff. And again, it's not paranoia to be prepared. We talked about that guy who sprayed the the car handles, the doors and things like that. Corey, you should do it. Get you over there and learn how to punch a little bit from your down position and your elbows and everything else. Get Thriller out there. Everybody that walks in public is being looked at by somebody who's not so great. And if you make a habit out of things, sometimes bad guys catch your habits. That's why it's so scary. That guy spray spraying door handles. Yeah. Not knowing what the hell it is. Exactly. Because if he's watching, somebody's. Okay. This person does this every single day. And then they go home. I've been watching. And bad guys watch. There's a thing. You ever watch Dateline? You get stalked before you get hit?

[Brady]

This morning, when I go out to get in my car today, you grabbed the hand.

[John]

It was wet. Oh, no.

[Brady]

Because it was it. But it's due. But that's the first thing I thought.

[John]

Man. Oh, boy. Well, you did get dizzy for a little while.

[Brady]

I did go around the other side to check the hand.

[John]

Oh, they're all wet. Oh, thank God. If it's wet, it's like. It's the old Ray Romano joke when you find a lump on your body and like. Oh, no. And you feel the exact side, the other side. Like if you got it on and if it's on the right side, you're like, okay, I'm supposed to have those. Yeah, but if you only have one, it's bad. Same with dew on your car. Yeah. There's a lot of people out there doing weird things, and it's your job to be aware. And that's what they do. They get you in good shape. You start learning a lot about some things, and you become aware. That's humongous. Reactdefense.com. it's the place to go to become a better version of yourself. It's the home of tactical Black Brady Entertainment.

[Brady]

Keanu Reeves was told to go by a different name in his start of his Hollywood career 20 years ago.

[John]

Larry Reeves. Whoa.

[Brady]

He is. His agent said, we got to change her name. We don't like Keanu Reeves. His middle name is Charles.

[John]

I'm an FBI agent. My name. Yeah. Shane Falco.

[Brady]

Chuck, he said, and then street, he grew up was Spadina. So he's gonna go by Chuck Spadina.

[John]

That's pretty good. Sounds like a porn name almost. Kind of.

[Brady]

And then they suggest Casey Reeves. And he actually did one movie where he was credited as Casey Reeves.

[John]

How do you come up with. Oh, Keanu is his real name. Okay. I was gonna say Keanu Charles.

[Brady]

Yep.

[John]

Would it have mattered, I wonder. No. You don't think so? Nah. Would Margot Robbie still be hot if her name was Gertrude Hildegrand? Hell, yeah. You seen that picture with Toledo? Showed a little while ago. I think it changes everything. Well, what would it be? Bertha Lipa. I mean, would that change? That's horrifying. The future is dim. Bertha Lipa. I know where that's going. She's going to have a kid and.

[Brady]

You know, you're saying I would do anything for.

[John]

Just get it when it's young. Yeah. Just have it before it turns into Bertha Lipa. I'm not into that. Yeah. What was the paw? Bucket is my Martha Paul Bucket.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John]

You can't be hot and be named Martha Paul Bucket.

[Brady]

Brett, you'll be excited about this. Lifetime just announced their one of their holiday lineup, the Christmas movies.

[John]

Yeah.

[Brady]

A Pickleball Christmas.

[John]

Oh, my gosh. How are they doing this?

[Brady]

There are 12 Christmas movies in total that premiere every weekend starting November 29th through December 20th.

[John]

12 of them. Josh Brolin's brother Tim and Lacey Chabert star in.

[Brady]

This year, there's some familiar faces in the lineup. Brandy, Vivica A Fox.

[John]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Jack a Harry.

[John]

Oh, they all. They're all surroundstone urban faces. Merry Christmas, Mary. I was one of the few men in the world who did a great Jack A. Harry. Oh, maybe I used to love 227. You probably did too. You didn't like 227? Oh, it's great. No, because I always thought of from. I always thought of her as Florence from the Jeffersons and I love the Jeffersons, but. Yeah, she wasn't fun in 227, but that old lady that hung out the window all day long. She was funny. And then Jack A. On the stoop. I like that show.

[Brady]

Anthony Edwards of the Minnesota Timberwolves did an online award show and he gave Timothy She Chalamet White Boy of the Year.

[John]

We were allowed to do that.

[Brady]

Yeah. He beat out Adam Sandler, Tom Cruise, Pat McAfee and Mr. Beast.

[John]

Good for you. We said Anthony Edwards. I thought Goose. The Ant Man. Yeah. Not Anthony. Not from er. Wouldn't it be great, though, if that Anthony Edwards was giving out White Boy of the Year? What? What award show was this?

[Brady]

He. It's his online.

[John]

Oh, Ant man did it himself.

[Brady]

He did it Cracker Awards.

[John]

And the reason. Reason why is because he disproved everything the Ant man would. He gave it to Timothy Chalamet. Because evidently once you go black, you never go back. Unless you're Timothy Chalamet. Because Kylie switched. She went back. But is it going back if you never started white? Because she started with Tyga and then moved into Travis Scott. Right. And then went to Timothy Chalamet. So she never had the opportunity to go back. So now she's just testing the white waters. That makes him White Boy of the Year. I'm with It. I'm. I agree. Kim ever go white? Sort of. She. That Humphreys guy that played for the Clippers was sort of half.

[Brady]

Yeah, they got married.

[John]

Well, that was all for the show.

[Brady]

You think that was just staged? The latest K Fed nugget from his memoir is Britney drank while she was pregnant and did coke while she was breastfeeding.

[John]

Holy cow. Only Brady got that because of the breastfeeding news.

[Brady]

I have pictures.

[John]

That's pretty good. She did coke while she was breastfeeding or in the time of breastfeeding. Not like latch on snorting off the baby's head, I think.

[Brady]

No, I think she's doing coke.

[John]

I would like to watch that.

[Brady]

Oh yeah, but maybe she's a bump.

[John]

Sorry y'. All. I just did some coke off my baby's soft skull. It makes its own little lines where it hasn't grown together yet.

[Brady]

There's a farm and garden store in Indiana that carved a 500 pound pumpkin.

[John]

And the Ozzy Osbourne and it came to life.

[Brady]

Google that Brad. See to pull off. Although some people think it looks more like Benjamin Franklin and they.

[John]

And they touched it with a magic wine. Well, Santa Claus, Indiana. I'm back. And I'm in the form of a pumpkin. I'm Pumpkin Osborne. You can't keep me in the sun very long. I begin to stink worse than the real Aussie. Leave it to Indiana, of course. Oh, Jesus Christ. That's it.

[Brady]

That's not Ben Franklin.

[John]

It looks like Ben Franklin. It looks like sodomized Ben Franklin. What's happening to him?

[Brady]

He's yelling crazy.

[John]

That's crazy. It doesn't look like Ben Flame. Love discovering electricity. Except for I'm attached to the kite. I look like I'm being electrocuted. To tell him, Sharon. Sharon, I'm a pumpkin now. You should get Sharon close to it and see if she breaks down. Oh, Aussie, you're back. Oh no. I'm in the form of a giant pumpkin. I've got no body. I feel like Thriller. I'm just ahead. See? Hey, took a Thriller shot there. Anyway, you make me out of all sorts of gourds, Brady. If you've got a Gordon, bring. Bring Aussie back to life and dance around. Yeah, that's good idea. Form your Gordon to Ozzy Osborne, the God of darkness.

[Brady]

And Dave Draymond from Disturbed says that Israelis and Palestinians are welcome at his shows.

[John]

That's exactly right. I say that all the time. I'm Dave Draymond from Disturbed. What about Kiss? Are they welcome? They're going through quite a bit. They're going through. In fact, I bring him here. He's on his. Very distraught. Gene Simmons. Come on in here. Let me open the door. Thank you. Dave Dream it. I'm Jean Simmons. Sad. Jean Simmons from Kiss.

[Brady]

Lou.

[John]

It's. I can't even talk about it. Dave Takeover. I'm so sorry. Going through the street. How can you be consoled? I mean, what's good? Well, I suppose the peace deal in Israel would be good. Did someone say peace? Shalom. I'm Benjamin.

[Brady]

Benji.

[John]

I didn't expect you. So good to see you. That's how we differentiate. Simmons, Draymond, Netanyahu, you can all do it. When you got one, you got three. Thank you for having us. Yes, as always. Wakaka. We'll see you later. Bye, Ace. Anyway, we're running very late. That should do for the entertainment. Troll. We got the Guadalupe Squares coming up in just moments. Get ready for it. It's 98. It's out of control now. Morning sickness. 98. Can you repeat? Don't get me wrong, Corey. I appreciated it, but not from your smart, smart Alec mouth. He just made a Dennis the Menace reference and all of us are like, what do you know about that? And not only that, a mister for us, too, though. I mean, second mister. It doesn't make any sense.

[Brady]

I just been doing some research.

[John]

What happened? Oh, say again? I just figured you'd like a reference that you remember from your childhood. It wasn't my childhood. It was the 50s, for God's sake. We still watch. Read. No, I'm gonna punch you square. I'm gonna sweep the other. Sweep the leg. Leg. We met Thriller's parents. You did, Last week. And they wanted to take pictures. And you didn't even know about that. But they were. No, I thought they were joking.

[Brady]

No.

[John]

Giving Brady ideas of what to do with you for fun, which is try to get you to climb and talk like ladders and. Yeah, yeah, trucks. That's on the tallest pickup truck. And see how long it takes you to get in there. I'm like, always tell me, you know what you should do with my son? It's like obstacle courses. That's fun. I. I love my fans. No, you have to. They couldn't wait to go meet Brady at Bullfrog Spas last week and then talk about what gave me a list.

[Brady]

Of a hundred things.

[John]

Here's a. Here's a book I wrote. It's called A Thousand Things to Do with Cory's Body. They've been sitting on these ideas for, like decades and finally got to share it. It's in handwriting. You didn't even print it. No, no. It's just ideas as they pop up. Things I want to do to it. Anyway, Corey, Thriller Walsh is here. That means it's time for those Guadalupe Squares. So let's get right to it. Here is your host of the Squares. It's Corey Walsh, everybody.

[Brady]

Thank you, Chancellor.

[John]

Let's begin at top left square. We have a sad Gene Simmons starting out. Man. What's going on?

[Brady]

So sorry about that.

[John]

Thank you. It's Gene Simmons. Very sad. Gene Simmons from Kiss lost Ace Freely yesterday. And so it is. Look, it is my job. I don't like this place. Why Stolido acting like Jack Ruby right? Right now. What is. Please step away from my shoulder immediately. Oh, something. You're right. He's not wrong. The music was wrong. I'm very distraught. It's not even the right music and none of us notice. You are recovering. It was the entertainment rule. And that is not. There we go.

[Ian Bag]

That's.

[John]

Leave it to a musician to get that right. Thank you, Richard. I mean, I guess his method of fixing things is to just lean on your arm until you figure it out yourself. Is anyone consoling you over this? Very, very. You know, I'm very. But it. We're eight minutes away from tickets going on sale to the ace freely funeral. 35.95. You get an Ace Freely towel for crying and of course, admission to Ace Freely's upcoming funeral. And I will eulogize him, as only Gene Simmons can, by talking mostly about Gene Simmons. The Kiss casket is there. Ace didn't pay in full, so he didn't get the good one. So it was 39.95 and 59 cents. He got the outlet version. He got the Teemu Kiss one refurbed. It's the Smooch casket, we call it. It's not even Knights and Satan service with the irs. Because Ace didn't have any money. We took it all from him. He didn't get the big Kiss money like I did. But tickets on sale now to go see. And guess who's going to be at the funeral? Brett. Who's that? Kiss me. And Paul will be there. Well, I'm not driving. I have to be driven because I. Yeah, of course. I tend to nod off behind the wheel now. And it's just because Ace was so, so sad. Any special. Any other special guests or. Well, of course, Dave Draiman from. He's here now. Dave Draymond from Disturbed here. Very Sad as well. But not as sad as Gene, because of course I'm not a member of kiss. Sorry for that. Yes, exactly. That's how you know who is who. I am crying and he is Waka Kaing. Well, it's good to be near friends when you're console it. So true, Corey. So true. Thank you. Corey will be at the funeral as well. I can't afford it. Okay, well, then I'll. And we're not giving any away for free.

[Brady]

Yeah, he'll be next to Pete, Chris, Peter.

[John]

Chris will be there sitting in the back. Of course, he's also going to be cleaning up afterwards. Peter was. We'll lose him soon too. All right, now, over to the top, middle square. Jeannie C. Riley. What's going on? Sorry about that, man. No, this is a missed booking birthday. She's Jenny C. Reilly. Ginny C. Reilly singing Harper Valley Pizza. Oh, you guys called me. Yeah, it's her birthday. I was wondering why you're like, hey, John C. Reilly, come on, man, it's your birthday. I'm like, well, I'm not coming down here for my birthday because Jeannie C. Riley, I'll sing for you if you want. Who had a teenage daughter who attended Harper Valley Junior High. Well, her daughter came home one afternoon and didn't even stop to play. I don't know where. It's all the way through. I just know. Then mom got a note from the Harper Valley PTA. That's for Jeannie C. Riley, who is.

[Brady]

I remember that song.

[John]

Yeah. She had a thousand years ago and she's alive still. And it's her birthday and you guys called the wrong guy. So we thought you were Makes his best friend. So. Because like, that was your first thought, right? Yeah.

[Brady]

Barbara Eden is Brady.

[John]

Barbara Eden was in the movie. Yeah. Very hot genie. But not that genie. I dream of genie Still. Even old genie. I'm see a great cans. Brady. I think. I think we're best friends now.

[Brady]

Cool.

[John]

Do you wanna go to the zoo and feed pumpkins to hippos? Yes. Yeah, we're gonna do that. Let's do that. All right. Now it's outright square. President Schwab. How are you, sir? I'm busy bombing some Venezuelan druggies and unfortunately a couple of them got away.

[Brady]

Took a great boat out.

[John]

I took a great boat. I took a great boat.

[Brady]

Beautiful.

[John]

No, we hit them. They're very resilient people. And they're also unconditionally. And the cocaine keeps them alive through the bombing. Sometimes you try to. There's one There. Get a nice job. Pete said dropped another big boy there. That's awesome stuff. And you know what I love is we're killing druggies. We're killing the druggies and that's it. And that's what, that's what we do. And I also want to provide. I'm going to be standing outside of a no Kings march. Oh, Dressed up like the Burger King. I'm going to make everybody crazy this week. I'm going to do that. I'm going to kill druggies. And they've got two survivors and we got to finish them off. Corey. So. So I've got operatives. That's what they call it, operatives down there in Venazawala. That's it. Fernando Valenzuela is what we call that place. And we have it very. Although we loved Fernando, didn't we? What a great picture. What a great guy.

[Brady]

You might get tackled in that Burger King.

[John]

I might get hit by Burger King. It might be fun. Rosie o' Donnell will be there. And she smells like sweat socks. There's no question about that. Could you imagine being Rosie o' Donnell's girlfriend? I bet you she's like Mikey from Life Cereals. That woman will eat anything. She'll eat anything. Anything. I mean, she goes down on Rosie o'. Donnell. I mean, that's like losing the world's worst bet. She makes a choice. She put a ring on her finger and said, tonight's the night I get to clam out with Rosie o'.

[Brady]

Donnell.

[John]

Like, why. But she does. She's got a partner. And I don't, I don't understand it. I don't understand it.

[Brady]

Peace to the world.

[John]

I'm, I'm bringing peace to everyone. Everyone even. And I'm peaceful. And love, you know, an everlasting peace and love even to that fat governor Pritch. Greg. I hope he dies in a fire, but I bring peace and love across the nation. But I can't stand that fat. He reminds me of Rosie o'. Donnell. They look exactly the. She said she moved to Ireland. I think she got elected governor of Illinois. I pretty sure that's Rosie. I haven't smelled the genitals, but that's an unmistakable scent.

[Brady]

We'll have to look into it.

[John]

Brave. You ever been around a dead, dead body, you know, immediately, you know, the. But the smell. That's the same as when Rosie o' Donnell walks in the room. You know, that, that, that stinks like 10 dead bodies. Oh, it's too soon to talk about dead bodies. That's right. Rosie o' Donnell smells like Ace Freely's. Her smells like Ace Freely's body does. Today, just decrepit drunken rock star dying in the out in the sun. Who knows? Cory, it's time for you to keep going. No worries. I wanna get busy here. Sir, let's go on over now, middle of Square to celebrate 50. Pacino and de Niro together. Al Pacino and Robert De Niro was it. Best friends for Brett. Thanks for throwing us this birthday. We're having a great time. Gonna bring in some girls with some great asses.

[Brady]

I don't know.

[John]

I don't know if I want to go out with you. I don't know. I see your restaurants all over that dirty dining report. We gotta get rid of that Jason Barry. He's trouble.

[Brady]

He's always popping National Pasta Day.

[John]

Tried the pasta. Three violations. What? I don't know. I don't know. If I get up doing no King's March, I'm not gonna do it at Pacinos. I'm not gonna to do that. You gotta try the veal. Oh, the veal was four days overdue. Two violations. Jason Barry. Get out of my ass. Who are. Who is this guy? I don't know. I think we should go somewhere else. Maybe the. What is that king crabby place that has the dead clams? Kicking, kicking crab. Kicking crabs. We're kicking crabs. We kick. You ever kick a crab? Oh, go kick some crabs. I kicked the crabs once. Beverly d' Angelo had them, gave them to me and I kicked. Oh, gotta kick the crabs. You can't have crabs very long.

[Brady]

Gotta have a good crab comb.

[John]

Nothing worse than an itchy taint to teach all the kids. Okay, over now to the middle school. We have Pride March. Brady, what's going on? Ooh. Hi. Hi there. How you doing? I'm Pride Marks Brady. You set for this weekend? Yeah, I've got everything I need. Let's see, I've got my crown, I've got my boa.

[Brady]

Sure.

[John]

I have my. Katy Kat, you got the right heels on. I'm wearing heels, but I still am short because I'm a spinner. Six inch heels. You're still short. How did I do it? Ew. 93. 3. Hi, Mo. I want to go now. Oh, my God. And then, of course, let's see, I've got my pants. The crotch and ass are cut out. And there's my rosebud. Let's get in my portal and go. We're live at the march right now. Now I'm Pride March Brady. Don't you want to watch me march around? Especially from behind?

[Brady]

It looks like fun over there.

[John]

Yeah, and the weather's perfect for a pride march. If you ask me, I cannot wait to march for pride. Okay, I'm coming back now. Ooh, that was fun. Wow. That's my time portal. You know, I've got one. What song are you listening to out there? I don't know, but it's getting close to the holiday season, so get ready to buy one of my Brady Pride March flocked trip trees. I flock them myself. Well, I hope you have fun this weekend. You know I will. Let's go over now. The middle right square Aussie Osborne. If the weekend goes right, I'm gonna be walking like you. Oh, on one side? I hope so. My God, what have I walked back into? I thought I died. Well, died and got away from since you watched him pretty good. That's how there's a diar.

[Brady]

Giant pumpkin.

[John]

That's a diary of a mad God. I'm a pumpkin man. They said the headless Horseman and I'm the bodyless pumpkinhead. What happened to me? Indiana made me giant pumpkins brought me back to life. I'm not ready to go again. Corey, how are you doing?

[Brady]

I'm good.

[John]

How about yourself? I'm doing well. Even I would borrow Cory's body right now since I'm nothing more than a gigantic gourd head. Sorry. Who wants my seeds? Dig around inside my head and take out my big Aussie seeds and put them in your scoop. You gotta scoop those out and that big orange gloppy head.

[Brady]

Well, bake em.

[John]

Bake my seeds. Brady, get my seeds in your mouth. Sharon. Sharon. Ozzy, Are you back as a gourd again? I told you I would come back. I would haunt you. But I didn't realize I was going to do it as a festive Halloween decoration. But that's what evil would do, isn't it? It would show up as one of those Home Depot skeletons that's littering every idiot's front yard right now. Brett. Yeah? Take my seeds. Well, I brought them for you. Are you hanging out with Ace up there? I just saw he's pretty on the way out. Yeah, he's coming. Ace, what are you doing? Oh, I see. I get it now. That's what aces Ace is up there now. I'll tell him you said hygiene. Please bow me me. I told him I miss him. All right, all right. Now over to the bottom left square. Britney Secrets bear. Give us a hint. Good morning.

[Brady]

You.

[John]

Oh. What?

[Brady]

I was gonna say something else, but anyway, I would have been 86 years old today. I made over 75 motorcycle jumps ramp to ramp.

[John]

Okay.

[Brady]

Reason why I'm so grumpy is just an ache.

[John]

Yeah. Broke so many bones, all of them.

[Brady]

My last jump, 1974, Snake River Canyon.

[John]

That was the last one. Because you broke every bone in your body.

[Brady]

Well, I might have had one or two after. I just don't remember.

[John]

You did no research on that. Chances are there were a couple more. No, I'm sure there was.

[Brady]

All right, that was it.

[John]

Thank you, sir.

[Brady]

Shut your mouth.

[John]

Over. Now, the bottom of the square, emotional Bill Lauer. How you doing, sir? It's Bill Cowan. It's not Bill Hour. Bill Hours. Dude, guys, you work at a sports station. You forgot Bill Cower's name.

[Brady]

How about that game last night?

[John]

Telling you what we got Flacco pretty good last night. The Steelers. I'm telling you, that Steelers defense isn't what? That's not what I built. That's not. That's what I'm watching something die, Brady. It's not fun. Tell me about Bill Cower is absolutely right. I'm very sad. I talked to my wife E last night. We're going to have a nice. We're going to have a nice, nice dinner. Tell you what, Brady, this is not what I built. The Steelers are not who I thought they were. We got Flacco by the bungles. I don't like it. I like it at all. It's like losing a good friend. He's right. I lost a good friend as well. Pay attention to me. Well, I'll let you plan for next week. Tell you, look, next week we're going to be all right, though. We're going to play the packers on Sunday night. Aaron, Roger's going to play his little team. We're going to take care of that. That's going to happen. We're going to beat that Aaron Rodgers packing team and get back to business. Being Pittsburgh still is the way we are. I don't like what's going on and I hate that you don't know my name. Oh, the Toledo handwriting transcends you in my knowledge. Over. Now the bottom right square. Lord and savior trip. Read. Hello, sir. Yeah, hi, Corey. How you doing? I met your parents. Oh, no. Why? Brady. At the Bullfrog Spa. Oh, yeah, you were there? And the obstacle course, they want to set up and put you. I want to start a YouTube channel of Cory Jump. I love LA. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I love it. My Dodgers are about to be in the World Series. And guess who they're not playing. Oh, Delito's marriage. Go, BJ's. I've said it my whole life. I love BJ's. Even international ones. These are Canada. Yeah. Canadian BJ's are the best because you can send them home. It's like getting, you know, one of those ice people in there. Take care of your Canadian friends. I like them big into portable. Yeah, get me those BJ's.

[Brady]

They're so friendly.

[John]

Send those BJ's south of the border to LA so my Dodgers can whip them. Yeah. All right. Who's on the phone? We got today, Double D Donovan and Darcy. Darcy Donovan. Darcy, Are you a girl? I am. All right, go. All right, let's go with bottom right. Bottom right. Here. Tripp Reeves starting out. Hi, Darcy. How are you? Fantastic. How are you? I'm doing great. The Dodgers are going to go to the World Series again. Take that, Diamondback fans. You've got one. That's the same amount of people that Cory's had sexual, save for one. Did you finally hit that milestone? Yeah. Well, I do have a question. Darcy, do you want to do it with Corey? Good. Thank you. Though, no. Once again, she hates cripples. Bigot. Go ahead. I pay full price for the half the material. I'll roll them on top of you and I'll push. All right. Question here for you, sir. In 1969, a California woman won $100,000 judgment against God for a lightning strike.

[Brady]

What year was that?

[John]

1969. All right. Corey, have you ever 69 anything but your pillow? No, just your pillow there. Well, I've tried. It's a little hard to get in there. You got one of them body pillows? No, no, that's a step too far. Cut a hole in it. And you're Nathan Sutherland. All right, I'll say. No, you can't sue God. Have you tried? I have. I've been litigating with God for years. Keeping you around for a reason. Right? We've settled. All right. So you are saying false. Let's see here. Let's go on over here. To Darcy. To agree or disagree with false. I agree. Correct. X gets a square. Excellent work, Darcy. Yeah, thank you. There we go. Hop on over now to a Donovan. Make your choice. Hey, cuz. How you doing? Darcy's my cousin. Is that true? Yeah. I haven't talked to her in years, so it's actually kind of nice to hear her voice. Darcy, is this true? This is True. Donovan and Darcy are related? Yeah, through our mom's side. Yeah. Creepy.

[Ian Bag]

Wow.

[John]

That's never happened. A little bit. 25 years of this up, it runs the family. Are we kissing cousins or. Just cuz I live in Buckeye doesn't mean I'm from Buckeye. Darcy, is that true? Was he ever trying anything with you? Never. One family never tried. Why is Darcy not attractive? Donovan, what's wrong with you?

[Ian Bag]

God.

[John]

Never attracted to that cousin? No. I mean, she's pretty, but not like in that way, you know? She's not your type. Not in that way. Yeah, because she's blood related. You like? I thought you meant like maybe she had a weight issue or something.

[Brady]

We tried once. There was no chemistry.

[John]

She's pretty, but. Yeah. She smells like Rosie o'. Donnell. I'm sorry. Back to the game. No worries, man. Go ahead and make a choice there, Donovan. What square do you want? Let's go with pride Brady, cuz that's awesome. All right. Fried Brady. Ooh, I knew he'd be into me. Cause he wasn't into girls or he'd have tried Donovan already. Here we go. Oh, baby. Are we gonna have a good weekend? So excited. We're gonna march up and down central with my thong on. You ever seen it? You know what I love? Two things. I love my thong and bacon. And I make bacon strips in my thong every time I'm in it. I can't wait. I'm just gonna be coated like a Krispy Kreme by the end the of. Are you going both days? I am going both ways both days, my friend. Go to town on this leather. Cheerio. Cause it's not raining. Oh, but it's raining men. That's for sure. I'm a little bear. I'm like the baby Goldilocks stole the bed from tiny bear. Ooh, guess which car I'm taking. Miata. My LeBaron. And inside it's gonna be a chocolate LeBaron once we get that backdoor fondue erupting. All right, ask me my. All right, all right. Peeing in the shower can solve 661 gallons of water per year. If I pee in a shower, it saves water. 661 gallons?

[Brady]

Yes.

[John]

Why don't I just pee in my mate? How much does that save? Cory, you should just ask them. I will. But you know who'll answer? I'll have to say I don't know. Let's go to the shower and find out. Cory, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I think we should. No. You don't want half a man. You want a full man. I'll take half a man. A full man. I'll make you a full man. I'll make you a very full man. I will feed you all day. No, thank you. Unzip my pants. Welcome to Porkopolis. I'll say that's probably true. No flushing. Eight gallons of flush. Okay, so you're saying true now, Donovan, do you agree or disagree with true. Happy pride, Donovan. I agree. Correct. Circle for that one. They're all winners today. It's all working out.

[Ian Bag]

All right.

[John]

Hop on back over to Darcy. Make your selection. Let's go with Trump. President Trump. All right.

[Ian Bag]

For the win.

[John]

Cory, we're out of time. And it always comes down to Trump. Trump for the win. We'll see what we get out of this. I think it's going to be great. You ready for it, Darcy? Your last name, please? Bomber. Okay. That seems pretty white and American. Welcome, Donovan. You're related to her. Similar Horn. Horn. It's pretty ethnic. I don't know if I like that one at all. There's a lot of letters in Donovan. Is that a silent H?

[Brady]

You want to grab that horn?

[John]

I want to grab it. I want to grab his horn. Can I tug your horn, Donovan? Toot, toot. You can treat me like a cousin anytime, Brittany. I don't know. I think that's pretty gross. I don't know. All right, question here for you, sir. Go ahead. A day in Venus is longer than a year on Venus. A day in Venus? I saw that movie when I was 22 years old. A day in Venus. She was a beautiful lady. We spent the whole day watching Venus. Take it. I don't know. A day in Venus. Is there a day in Venus? I mean, I'll tell you right now, if anyone's Venusian, I'm sending them home. That's what I'll do. I don't like the. A month in Uranus is what Brady's looking for. For. I'm leaving. I knew it was coming. I'm leaving. And so did Brady all weekend. Brady's gonna be spending most of the time in his sci fi dream dressed up as Garlac. He's dying over the gay durations. Actually losing it. Urinate. Your. What do you call Uranus? A urination. A urine. In urine. Urination. Well, that would be a. A resident. Uranium. Uranium is good. I like that. We need more Urania. We've got to get those precious Uranian metals back and before the Chinese hate The Chinese hate them. I'll probably say what was the question? A day in Uranus A day Venus is longer than a year on Venus Penis is longer than. No, no, no, no. Venus, Venus, Venus if you will they send for bretti A boy to kiss or never mind. I'll say that's probably true A day in Uranus is a year long Feels like a year the goddess on a mountaintop Goddess on a mountaintop Venus on the mountain Banana. You want banana Rama. Probably the greatest. Were they American? They were English. Were they American? Oh, my God. He's coming back to Venus. All right, go ahead. I'll say that's probably. You're saying true now. Here. Darcy for the win. Do you agree or disagree? I agree. Correct. Excellent. Beat her cousin. Well, not the way he wanted, but hold on. Jonathan and Darcy. Everybody wins something. That's nice stuff. That's weird. Cousins made it through first time on the show. Wow, that's. What a chance. That's never happened before. Well, I did say Buckeye, so how. It's a very deep. Is that gene pool in the first place? Good point. Excellent. That's it. Corey's gonna watch the Rising closing their season out tonight, huh? Oh, thank God. And then we have Raiders Chiefs on Sunday. Are they in the playoffs? Oh, that might be. Depends on how this game goes. Yeah.

[Brady]

Is there a special giveaway tonight for them?

[John]

No, it's just kind of like a fan appreciation. Like thanks for the season. It's been going good so far.

[Brady]

No scarves or anything.

[John]

Free tamales. That was last time. That was $1 beers. How dare you. That's pretty good. Yeah. I need like a thousand of those to get through that. Soccer. That would be a tough one. I've been to. I've been to a Rising game. Have you been? No. They. They're fun. Are they? Yeah. I guess being in the crowd's fun. The thing that ruins it is the soccer. Yeah, I hate that part. Just keep your eyes up. That's what Donovan told Darcy when they were kids. Just don't look at me. Look. Just look. Just don't look at it. My dad said the delivery room to my mom. What? That's my dad said to in the delivery room to my mom when they gave birth to me. Just don't look down. This is not coming out right. This cake ain't done. They frosted you anyway and here you are. All right, we're done. Larry's coming up next. Those special words are going to be coming your way again with shan man at 2:00'. Clock. Larry's going to give you all the information you need. Need all about taking it in the app, which is a glorious thing we do here. We're done. Weekend is upon us. I got flakoed, so I'm just going to rest. I'm going to lick my wounds until we're back on Monday, and that'll just about do it. Have yourselves a wonderful weekend, and we'll see you Monday right here in the morning sickness. So it's Attic control now, pd.