Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – Guad Squares (10-17-25)

Episode Focus:
A riotous round of the show’s signature “Guadalupe Squares”—an Arizona take on Hollywood Squares—featuring irreverent celebrity impressions and topical humor. This episode’s cast includes “Sad Gene Simmons,” John C. Reilly (mistakenly booked for Jeannie C. Riley), President Trump, Pacino & De Niro, “Gay Pride Brady,” Ozzy Osbourne, “Emotional” Bill Cowher and more. Loyalties, local references, and over-the-top one-liners drive this all-comedy, rapid-fire roundtable.

Key Segments & Highlights

Intros & Setup (01:02–02:15)

• The crew pokes fun at each other about obscure references, family hijinks, and classic TV (“Dennis the Menace”).
• Family stories about Brady and Corey set a friendly, playful mood, including talk of suggested obstacle courses for Corey.

Guadalupe Squares Begin (02:17 onward)

Sad Gene Simmons (02:34–04:46)

• “Gene Simmons” mourns the loss of Ace Frehley and launches into classic KISS-style commercialism over his bandmate’s funeral.
  • Notable Quote:

    "We're eight minutes away from tickets going on sale to the Ace Frehley funeral... get an Ace Frehley towel for crying and, of course, admission..."
    —Gene Simmons impression (03:28)

• Running gags about KISS caskets, funeral ticket pricing, and cheap knockoff merchandise.

Jeannie C. Riley / John C. Reilly Confusion (05:01–06:18)

• Corey's classic mix-up: John C. Reilly is not Jeannie C. Riley, leading to lighthearted ribbing.
  • Notable Quote:

    “You guys called the wrong guy. So let me sing her song: [singing] ‘Her daughter came home one afternoon…’”
    —John C. Reilly impression (05:50)

• Nostalgic talk about “Harper Valley PTA” and Barbara Eden.

President Trump Parody (06:22–08:57)

• “Trump” riffs on executing an imaginary bombing campaign against “Venezuelan druggies,” mixes in braggadocio and digs at Rosie O’Donnell and Governor Pritzker.
  • Notable Quotes:

    “We’re killing druggies. That’s what we do. And I also want to provide—I'm gonna be standing outside a No Kings march dressed up like the Burger King.”
    —Trump impression (06:43) “Rosie O’Donnell smells like Ace Frehley’s body does today... decrepit, drunken rock star dying in the sun.”
    —Trump impression (08:22)

Impersonation Chaos & Local Humor

Pacino & De Niro Celebrate 50 Years (09:04–10:10)

• Duo riffing on restaurant cleanliness, eating crab, and “National Pasta Day.”
  • Notable Quote:

    “Gonna bring in some girls with great asses!... You gotta try the veal. Oh, the veal was four days overdue."
    —Al Pacino/De Niro impressions (09:12)

Pride "Brady" Marks (10:17–11:16)

• “Pride Brady,” an exaggerated, flamboyant version of Brady, talks up Pride March gear and spirit:
  • Notable Quote:

    “My pants, the crotch and ass are cut out, and there’s my rosebud! Let’s get in my portal and go!”
    —Pride Brady impression (10:38)

• Jokes about fashion, “flocking” Christmas trees, and parade preparations.

Ozzy Osbourne as a Pumpkin Gourd (11:32–13:11)

• Surreal moment as Ozzy returns “as a pumpkin man.”
  • Notable Quote:

    “Even I would borrow Corey's body right now, since I'm nothing more than a gigantic gourd head... Who wants my seeds?”
    —Ozzy impression (12:08)

Emotional Bill Cowher (15:11–16:11)

• “Cowher” lampoons the Steelers’ woes with mock tears.
  • Notable Quote:

    “That Steelers defense isn’t what I built... It’s like watching something die, Brady. It’s not fun.”
    —Bill Cowher impression (15:20)

Tripp Reed – Dodgers Fanatic (16:11–17:15)

• Talks up LA Dodgers World Series hopes, jokes about "BJ’s" (restaurant and adult connotations).
  • Notable Quote:

    “I love LA. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I love it. My Dodgers are about to be in the World Series. And guess who they’re not playing... I love BJ’s.”
    —Tripp Reed (16:37)

Game Play: Family, Flirtations, Absurdity

Contestants Donovan & Darcy (17:16–21:59)

• Two callers, revealed to be cousins, play through comedic, innuendo-laced game rounds.
• Sketches riff on awkward family dynamics, including playful flirtation and “kissing cousins” jokes.

Quiz Highlights

• Litigating with God (Question at 18:17)

  • “You can’t sue God.”
    —Tripp Reed (18:44)

• Peeing in the Shower Saves Water (21:32)

  • “I can’t wait. I’m just gonna be coated like a Krispy Kreme by the end of Friday.”
    —Pride Brady (21:00)
  • The answer is TRUE, and the panel milks the scenario for every double entendre.

• Longest Venus Day (23:26–25:03)

  • “A day in Venus? I saw that movie... A day in Venus is a year long, feels like a year!”
    —Trump impression (23:29, 24:34)
  • Leads to riffing on “Uranus” and classic morning radio puns.

Closing Banter & Local Wrap-Up (25:18–26:53)

• Celebratory note as both cousin contestants win (“That’s never happened before!”).

• Quick talk on Phoenix Rising’s season finale, Raiders-Chiefs Sunday matchup, and soccer skepticism:

  • Notable Quote:

    “The thing that ruins [Rising games] is the soccer.”
    —Corey (26:06)

• More family joking (“Just look up—don’t look down!”).

Notable Quotes

• Gene Simmons on funerals (03:28):
  “Eight minutes away from tickets to the Ace Frehley funeral... Get an Ace Frehley towel for crying.”
• Trump on “peace” (08:00):
  “I bring peace... across the nation. I can’t stand that fat, reminds me of Rosie O’Donnell... They look exactly. I haven’t smelled the genitals, but that’s an unmistakable scent.”
• Cowher on Steelers (15:20):
  “It’s like watching something die, Brady. It’s not fun.”
• Pride Brady on the parade (10:38):
  “My pants, the crotch and ass are cut out, and there’s my rosebud. Let’s get in my portal and go!”

Key Timestamps

• 02:17 – Guadalupe Squares kick-off
• 02:34 – Sad Gene Simmons monologue
• 05:01 – Jeannie C. Riley/John C. Reilly confusion
• 06:22 – President Trump parody
• 09:04 – Pacino & De Niro square
• 10:17 – Pride Brady spotlight
• 11:32 – Ozzy Osbourne as a pumpkin
• 15:11 – Emotional Bill Cowher rants
• 16:11 – Tripp Reed/Dodgers
• 18:17 – “Sue God” quiz question
• 21:32 – Pride Brady, peeing-in-the-shower q.
• 23:26 – Trump, “Venus day longer than a year”
• 25:18 – Contest winners wrap-up
• 26:06 – Soccer gripes / local wrap-up

Tone & Style

• Language: Irreverent, heavily sarcastic, and full of innuendo.
• Format: Madcap impersonation, inside jokes for Arizona locals, and breezy, relentless banter.
• Memorable moments: Fake funerals, ridiculous parade costumes, sports angst, and over-the-top callbacks to radio and pop-culture cliches.

For New Listeners

This episode encapsulates Holmberg’s style: local flavor with national parodies, ferocious teasing among the cast, and relentless satire. If you’re a fan of improv, celebrity lampoon, and blue-collar Arizona humor, it's a wild ride.