Holmberg's Morning Sickness – 10-20-25 Full Show, 98KUPD Arizona

Episode Overview

A very "Monday" episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness, with John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Brett Vesely, and Dick Toledo, tackling everything from the sad state of Arizona Cardinals football, crazy sports fan decisions, true crime obsessions, the great Louvre jewel heist, workplace romance, gross handyman stories, to even the new phenomenon of Ozempic-related body issues. They banter with their trademark mix of cynical wit, awkward honesty, and raucous "guy talk."

Main Discussion Themes

1. Arizona Cardinals, NFL Ineptitude & Fan Pain

[02:19–08:09]

• John opens with yet another glum Monday for Cardinals fans, mocking the team's persistently disappointing performance and the emotional toll on loyal supporters.
• He riffs on how every team has unique misery—Cardinals, Jets, Titans, Raiders, Packers, even his own Bears—but the Cardinals' knack for blowing leads is "impressive."
• The guys joke about Cardinals fans giving up by mid-October, selling tickets, turning Sundays over to their wives, and Arizona antique stores and wineries benefiting from early-season football widowers.
• “Congratulations. Antique shops and farmers markets. The women win!” – John [05:05]
• “Find something else…some sort of return on investment at least emotionally, that isn’t constantly bad.” – John [03:55]
• The crew muses on job security for head coach Jonathan Gannon and the cursed state of both the Cardinals and Jets coaching gigs: “Why would anyone want that job? It’s not an honor. I’ll be an assistant first.” – John [08:11]
• Jokes about desperate coaching solutions: even high school coaches or their own show’s characters being more qualified.

2. NFL Weekend Recap, Sports Schadenfreude, and Buying World Series Tickets Too Soon

[10:39–18:22]

• NFL discussion shifts to general fan pain—Holmberg's joy at other teams' humiliation (especially Giants, Raiders, Jets).
• The group pokes fun at brutal coaching records and fashion choices (“two teams with coaches in capri pants, a combined 1-11. Maybe it’s the pants.” – John [12:32]).
• Hilarity about Dick Toledo buying World Series tickets for his Mariners before they clinched a berth, with everyone predicting a jinx.
  • “We should punish him for being so stupid and jinxing his team. He should have to give those [tickets] away on the air.” – John [17:21]
• “It’s like a sacrifice… appease the sports gods.” – Brady [18:01]
• The sense that intense sports fandom is more masochism than hope: “It’s like being released from prison when your team finally wins.” – John [153:15]

3. The Louvre Jewel Heist & Pink Panther/Ocean’s 11 Theories

[18:22–24:02]

• Ridiculous museum heist takes over: jewel thieves in Paris simply using a crane and a truck in broad daylight, and within 7 minutes, stealing items ‘without earthly value.’
• The team debates whether this could be insider help (“The security guards did it. They did it.” – John [20:21]).
• All compare it to heist movies, especially “Entrapment” (with a full group reminiscence of Catherine Zeta-Jones' famous laser-dodging scene: “I am hard as a rock right now, you can call me the Rock, which is another movie I was in.” – John [27:37]).
• Wry take on movie security vs. reality: “Ocean’s movies are more believable—no inside guy? Please.” – John [21:45]

4. "Handyman Horror": Home Repairs & Gross Real-Life Crime

[28:18–39:35]

• They riff on a handyman caught on surveillance at Luke Air Force Base stealing a woman's bra and leaving it with suspicious white stains.
• Gross-out jokes about the idea that any time you leave service workers in your home alone, you risk having your intimate apparel “violated”:
  • “If you ever had a handyman in your house... there's a good chance that dude used your underwear as a tugging device.” – John [32:22]
• Advice to women: Just bleach everything after contractors leave.
• “If you’ve ever had a handyman in your house, do your laundry today. All of it, every single one of them.” – John [39:06]
• Musings on how “no man would notice if his underwear had trace evidence of random strangers.”

5. No-Kings Marches, Frogs, and Protest Fatigue

[41:21–43:47]

• Sarcastic congratulations to Arizona’s “No Kings” protesters for keeping the state king-free and for not blocking traffic too badly.
• Mockery of people in frog/furry costumes protesting (“That’s the Portland symbol for ‘you’re not in Portland, bitch’”).
• “Stop screwing up streets for causes that aren’t real, or for causes that are real, stop walking on the road.” – John [43:02]

6. True Crime Obsession – Netflix’s "Ed Gein" & What We’re Really Watching

[57:44–76:31]

• The group dives deep into the Netflix Ed Gein miniseries, dissecting its intentionally fictional moments, how it critiques “murder porn” fandom, and how the audience is secretly the subject.
• “They’re pointing the camera at us, saying, ‘you’re the monsters. This is you.’” – John [58:05]
• Discussion of real Ed Gein details vs. myth, his inspiration for “Psycho” and “Texas Chainsaw Massacre.”
• Layered take: the show purposely mixes fact and fiction to reflect our appetite for sensationalism, regardless of truth.
• “You can make it up, so long as it’s entertaining and salacious. People will mop it up like bread and gravy.” – John [59:07]
• Contemplation of whether the now-accepted practice of boys trying on their moms' underwear will make future serial killers less repressed, and how repression shaped Ed Gein, Bundy, etc.
  • “If you got a kid this morning, lay out some laces for him… If the kid looks at you like, ‘is it OK?’ – yeah, give it a try.” – John [74:30]

7. Medical Angst: The Rise of ‘Ozempic Vagina’

[76:31–83:32]

• Recent news (and listener texts) covering side effects of Ozempic: rapid weight loss and, for women, dramatic drooping of their vulva/labia.
• “Would you rather be fat and have a nice vagina, or look good on a scale, but the whole thing’s hanging down like an Arby’s sandwich?” – John [77:40]
• Hilarious—and gross—debate about what’s worse: saggy genitals or lifelong body insecurity, referencing Hope Solo’s infamous leaked nudes as “internet cautionary tale.”
• “If women’s vulvas are falling apart, your foreskin’s gonna look like a turtleneck.” – John [87:54]

8. Listener Letters: Love at Work, Post-poop Romance, and Bedroom Standoffs

[128:53–146:33]

• Workplace Flirtation: Listener ‘Francesca’ wants to hook up with a coworker but fears job consequences.
  • Brady urges caution, John says: “Blow that man. As a woman, you have nothing to lose. If he makes a move and you say yes, no guy is reporting you.” ([131:00])
• Dirty Bed Mystery: Woman’s husband poops at night, returns to bed, ruins romance; she washes sheets daily; other guys appalled.
  • “If your wife is telling you, here’s what would solve the problem...and you don’t do it -- you have no one to blame but yourself.” – John [139:49]
• No More Oral, No More Joy: Listener’s wife refuses to perform oral sex after years, citing hate for it. Crew jokes about taking away everything she likes in response.

Notable Quotes

• "It's like being tied up and force-fed something you like but people think might be wrong." – John (on the Ed Gein Netflix series) [59:27]
• “The best way to keep protestors from blocking the road is to let people drive through.” – John [43:02]
• “Ladies, if there's a scratch in your bra, it’s got a name: Julian Ramirez Mayo.” – John [34:24]
• “If you had a handyman in your house, do your laundry today. All of it. Start over, start all.” – John [39:06]
• “Would you rather be fat and have a nice vagina, or look good on a scale, but the whole thing’s hanging down like an Arby’s sandwich?” – John [77:40]
• “You can make it up, so long as it’s entertaining and salacious. People will mop it up, like bread and gravy.” – John [59:07]

Segment Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment Description | |------------|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 02:19 | Cardinals Monday misery, NFL fan pain, sports jinxes | | 10:39 | NFL recap/rant, sports schadenfreude, Toledo’s World Series jinx | | 18:22 | Louvre heist breakdown, "Entrapment" scene nostalgia | | 28:18 | Handyman horror stories and fear for unattended laundry | | 41:21 | ‘No King’ protest satire | | 57:44 | Deep dive on Ed Gein series, murder porn fandom | | 76:31 | Ozempic vagina chat | | 128:53 | Listener mailbag: love at work/marriage, bedroom body horror | | 146:33 | Baseball fandom pain, sports curses, and the relief (not joy) of winning at last |

Tone & Style

Holmberg and the crew riff with irreverent, unfiltered, and sometimes gross-out humor. They don’t shy away from edgy or awkward subjects — regular references to body fluids, true crime, and sexual mishaps abound. Pop culture and sports are recurring themes, but the “riffs” veer far afield, often circling back to mock the original topic or one-up each other's most shocking comment.

For Listeners Seeking Specific Segments

• Cardinals/Painful Fandom: 02:19–13:50
• NFL/World Series/Ticket Jinx: 13:50–18:22
• Louvre Heist & Movie Comparisons: 18:22–26:20
• Handyman Crime/Gross Home Anecdotes: 28:18–41:15
• Ed Gein/True Crime Deep Dive: 57:44–76:31
• Ozempic/Body Topic: 76:31–83:32
• Listener Letters: Sex, Poop, & Coworkers: 128:53–146:33

Final Thoughts

This episode epitomizes unscripted, local morning radio: topics jump wildly, but the laughter, irreverence, and Arizona references make it a must-listen for fans looking for both a sports catharsis and a dose of relatable (if sometimes shocking) banter.

For the true spirit, listen to the whole show. But if your home just had repair work or you're considering Ozempic, you may want to refrain from examining your underwear drawer or... certain body parts... while you do.