10-21-25 - BR - TUE - Bird Flu May Affect Turkey Market This Year - Otter Bites Woman On Surfboard - New Toilet Analyzes Your Poop - Asking Bret To Say The New KTAR Slogan

Summary

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Podcast Summary

Podcast: Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Arizona (98KUPD | Hubbard Radio)
Episode Date: October 21, 2025
Main Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogan, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Episode Title: “Bird Flu May Affect Turkey Market This Year – Otter Bites Woman On Surfboard – New Toilet Analyzes Your Poop – Asking Bret To Say The New KTAR Slogan”

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Episode Overview

This episode offers the usual raucous banter and irreverent news breakdown from Holmberg and his crew. They tackle issues ranging from Thanksgiving turkey shortages (thanks to bird flu), wild animal encounters (a rogue otter in Santa Cruz), a cutting-edge “smart toilet” that scans your poop, and a hilarious challenge involving a tongue-twisty KTAR news slogan. Rich in sarcastic humor, pop culture jabs, and plenty of Arizona flavor, the show blends quirky facts with offbeat commentary, ensuring entertainment for both longtime listeners and new audiences.

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Segment Breakdown & Major Talking Points

1. Technical Contest Glitches and the "Gig" Code

Time: 01:11 – 06:20

• App Contest Issues: The team jokes about a technical failure during a word-based app contest, blamed on an AWS outage ("yesterday was wiped off the map" – 03:05, Bret Vesely).
• Casual Honesty: The hosts openly admit to not reading company emails or caring much about contest details.
• Meta Moment:
  • Quote, John Holmberg (03:38): “So did we. Actually, sir, it's killed some time. I wouldn't say it's wasted time... It's Schrodinger's cat really. At this point, you were playing a game that was already dead.”
• Resolution: The contest is extended. If you had issues entering, just refresh the app or try again.

2. Brady Report: Fun News & Strange Holidays

Time: 06:41 – 13:08

• National Days: Back to the Future Day, National Pets for Veterans Day, National Apple Day, and National Sasquatch Awareness Day.
• Bigfoot Sightings: The team runs through a list of states where you’re most likely to spot Bigfoot; Washington, West Virginia, Oregon, Michigan are tops (07:22).
  • Quote, John Holmberg (07:12): “I know 100% where you can find him. Your imagination.”
• Baseless Fun Facts: Prince possibly played Oregon Trail as a student, cat-handedness stats, and a debate about handwriting quality.
  • Handwriting Dig, John Holmberg (09:10): "You could teach a cat to write. I guarantee you if I could do it, I could teach a cat to write five words better than you two."

3. Airlines with the Worst Customer Service

Time: 10:33 – 12:19

• Combined rankings drop Ryanair, Air France, United, Frontier, and Spirit as worst (11:49).
• Odd picks: Wiz Air makes the top 10.
  • Joke, John Holmberg (12:11): "Wiz Air. No thanks. I'm skipping it on trip drive."

4. Thanksgiving Turkey Shortage Panic

Time: 13:08 – 14:40

• Bird Flu & Smaller Flocks: America's turkey population is at a 40-year low due to bird flu.
  • Brady Bogan (13:37): "Looking at a $32 per pound average."
• Holmberg's Take:
  • John Holmberg (14:11): “Wait, we have a shortage and we're going to eat 5 billion pounds?”

5. Hot Drinks and Mormon Doctrine

Time: 14:40 – 15:52

• Warm Drink Benefits: San Diego State finds people drinking warm drinks in winter have better health.
• Mormon Jokefest:
  • Bret Vesely (14:58): “Joseph Smith said—”
  • John Holmberg (15:18): "Look, there's poverty, there's cancer, there's war. And he gives a flying F that you had a cup of joe, you picked the wrong one."

6. Wild Animal Encounters (Wild America)

Time: 15:52 – 17:43

• Surfing Otter: Woman's toe bitten by an otter in Santa Cruz; the otter refuses to leave her board for 20 minutes (15:55).
  • Quote, John Holmberg (16:22): “She was still on the board with it. That's impressive."
  • Fun roleplay as the otter: "Want to play cards? Yeah, I'll play cards. You're friendly otter."
• AGGRESSIVE OTTER: "Otter841" tags surfers and is reportedly biting and climbing on boards.

7. Sports Gaffe: “Ice” on Hispanic Heritage Night

Time: 17:59 – 18:36

• Sharks' Hispanic Heritage Night blunder: scoreboard displays “Sharks fans love ice,” which is inappropriate given the context.
• Holmberg Deadpan (18:43): "We should have Ice Night. I mean, in Mexican. Yeah. Great job, Bob."

8. New Smart Toilet That Analyzes Your Waste

Time: 18:55 – 20:29

• Toilet Tech: Kohler’s “Dekoda” toilet camera scans your waste for health stats.
  • Brady Bogan (19:45): “It uses optical sensors to scan your waste. Then it spits out the stats on your phone.”
  • Subscription Model: $600 for the unit; $70/year for analysis; $130 extra for “family plan.”
  • Holmberg’s Classic Line (19:53): “Speak for yourself. My balls are down there.”

9. The KTAR Slogan Challenge

Time: 20:37 – 22:45

• Challenge: The team goofs on KTAR’s new “All News, No Slant” slogan and dares Bret to recite it for comic effect.
  • Holmberg, egging Bret on (21:38): "Over under 0% chance he can say this."
  • Bret Vesely, struggling (21:59): “I didn’t even try it again. Hold on. No, no.”
  • Holmberg (22:22): “Do it. He can’t do it. He’s a child.”
• The segment descends into laughter, mockery, and back-and-forth jabs about local radio marketing.

10. “Radio Videos” Segment – Disturbing and Absurd Video Commentary

Time: 22:45 – end (~29:35)

• Grotesque and Wild Videos:
  • Cat eye surgery involving a foxtail (23:19)
  • Woman with a wild dental configuration (24:17): “Her lips are literally 3 or 4 inches ahead of her teeth… That’s Halloween.”
  • Foot cheese cleaning, cake pranks involving a hidden dildo, urinating in a shoe, dangerous building ledges, fireworks tied to private parts, near-train-miss antics, and AI absurdity.
  • Holmberg on the cake video (26:24): “He pulls it out with his mouth… Hilarious.”
  • Narrative flavor: The breakdowns are laced with disgust, laughter, and incredulity.

11. Random: Mormon Fact of the Day

Time: 29:35 – 30:24

• Explanation (via a listener) of the “Word of Wisdom” and how Mormon doctrine on hot drinks emerged.

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Standout Quotes & Memorable Moments

• John Holmberg (03:38): “It's Schrodinger's cat really. At this point, you were playing a game that was already dead. So when did it actually die?”
• John Holmberg (07:12): “I know 100% where you can find [Bigfoot]. Your imagination. You found him. Congratulations. Search is over.”
• John Holmberg (09:10): "You could teach a cat to write. I guarantee you if I could do it, I could teach a cat to write five words better than you two."
• Bret Vesely (14:58): “Joseph Smith said—”
• John Holmberg (15:18): "Look, there's poverty, there's cancer, there's war. And he gives a flying F that you had a cup of joe…"
• Brady Bogan (19:45): “It uses optical sensors to scan your waste. Then it spits out the stats on your phone.”
• John Holmberg (21:38): "Over under 0% chance he can say this."
• John Holmberg (24:17): “Her lips are literally 3 or 4 inches ahead of her teeth… That’s Halloween.”

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Notable Timestamps

• App Contest/AWS Outage: 01:11 – 06:20
• Bigfoot & Holidays: 06:41 – 08:16
• Worst Airlines: 10:33 – 12:19
• Turkey Market Concerns: 13:08 – 14:40
• Warm Drinks/Mormonism: 14:40 – 15:52
• Otter Attacks Surfers: 15:52 – 17:43
• Jacked Up Sports “Ice” Sign: 17:59 – 18:36
• Smart Toilet News: 18:55 – 20:29
• KTAR Slogan Challenge: 20:37 – 22:45
• Video Review Shenanigans: 22:45 – 29:35
• Mormon Fact of the Day: 29:35 – 30:24

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Episode Tone & Style

Riffing, irreverent, deeply sarcastic, but stacked with oddball facts and local color. Holmberg’s crew are never afraid of an off-color joke, and the show leans heavily into Roasting 101—of each other, their listeners, and the wilder aspects of daily news.

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Bottom Line

For listeners who missed the episode, expect hilarious peer heckling, bizarre animal news, some real information (buried beneath the punchlines), and a winking send-up of morning radio’s weirdest traditions. The “turkey shortage” and “smart toilet” stories are highlights, as is the mocking of KTAR’s slogan. All of it served in the show’s signature rowdy, unfiltered Arizona style.

Transcript

[Announcer]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[John Holmberg]

It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness. And it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group. And Doug hopkins.com I tell you about the house down the street from me that has had a for sale sign in the yard for three months now. In fact, it's the fourth different sign. They've got a new realtor all the time. I do know this, though, they wouldn't be dealing with all this stress if they'd have just called TVs Doug Hopkins because he's more than a guy buying your house. He makes an offer for your house, cash. As is, you don't have to do anything. The deal is over. So all you gotta do is start the process online@doug hopkins.com or sing Hopkins 1-800-channel.

[Limitless TRT Representative]

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[John Holmberg]

You thought that was funny. You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? It's called the perfect neighbor. I did call it the good neighbor. It's called the perfect neighbor. That's true. Brady and I were just discussing a part where the lady tried to explain what the N word meant to her. And it was very funny. She was. It was. It was a bad job. Interview. 8am Code word for today is gig. And I do hide you. I would recommend that documentary. It's good. It's good to watch and it's kind of. And it's a good, like conversation starter. It's like a fun one to talk about Gig. Gig is the 8am Word for tapping that thing and tapping it in the app. Ticket in the app, baby. You can do that right now. Given a thousand dollars away for you qualifiers. And all you have to do is put a word in a small promo code box every hour and you qualify every time you do it. This is so easy for you. To do. And then somebody wins money. The jackasses that run our company get off our backs for a little while.

[Announcer]

Thank you.

[John Holmberg]

Those app numbers sure were great.

[Limitless TRT Representative]

What a great promotion you guys are real healthy station.

[John Holmberg]

Thank you. We knew that going in, but you've confirmed it now with your word contest. It's great stuff. It's great engaging money.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm glad it's selling.

[John Holmberg]

We had a. Oh, I love it. We're buying.

[Brady Bogan]

Love. Yesterday we had a little glitch. I thought, oh, there might be a temporary stop on the contest because we had a computer issues. But we got to figure out when.

[Announcer]

And get the email.

[John Holmberg]

No. What did it say? Was it during Fitz's?

[Announcer]

No, because it. Well, it was right after we got off the air. Oh, there was that nationwide. Oh, that us. And it affected. Apparently us as well.

[John Holmberg]

Didn't affect me that well. I did my part. I don't know anything about it. Is everything good? It's all clear to coming in.

[Brady Bogan]

We're good.

[Brett Vesely]

So yesterday was wiped off the map.

[John Holmberg]

What?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Nobody. All the contests yesterday was. Was gone.

[John Holmberg]

Are we supposed to be telling people this?

[Brady Bogan]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, because we shouldn't lying about this.

[Brett Vesely]

We extended it extended the contest a day. Oh, we took out yesterday because of the ad AWS outage that affected our app. Affected a bunch of stuff.

[John Holmberg]

I just threw away all the words from yesterday in the book come up with. Okay, good.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, yeah.

[Limitless TRT Representative]

All right.

[Announcer]

So basically, you wasted your time yesterday.

[John Holmberg]

Sorry about that, everybody.

[Brett Vesely]

But everyone wasted their time.

[John Holmberg]

So did we. Actually, sir, it's killed some time. I wouldn't say it's wasted time. I didn't know. And as long as we didn't know, it doesn't. It's Schrodinger's cat. Really? At this point, you were playing a game that was already dead. So when did it actually die? Okay, well, it's working today. Am I wasting my time now or are we good?

[Announcer]

Yeah, we think it's working today.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man.

[Announcer]

So we're going with.

[John Holmberg]

All right, Gig. Keep trying. So it broke.

[Announcer]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So all that stuff that was going on with Amazon and stuff like that, that affected us. How about that?

[Announcer]

Yeah. Our servers.

[Brady Bogan]

It's amazing how many companies had affected. Oh, like I didn't realize that platform or.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it got a lot. All right.

[Brady Bogan]

American Airlines.

[John Holmberg]

I had no idea we were in that kind of company. Hey, when you go down, go down with the big boys. I'm a nice job. Kupd. Also, there is a thing that if you're putting it in and it says it's not taking it. That for some reason has been explained to me twice and Brett said the same thing this morning is that if our if our app or our server gets hit too hard, it'll start booting individuals off. So just refresh the app. Remember when you just turned your radio.

[Brady Bogan]

On and it all worked just like your streaming signal? My picture's not coming in all the way.

[John Holmberg]

Turn it on, turn it off. Everything kind of comes back. Gig is the word that we're wasting your time with at 8 o'clock today. And it could all be fruitless. I did not get that email. I don't pay attention to company emails. They're usually stupid. I just ignore them or delete them. Hey, it's from the Bob's Read immediately delete trash can. Double delete forever gone. Did you read that email about our gonculators versus the Gininkinniks? No, I didn't. I don't care about what you're studying. Oh, it's fascinating. Turns out we should play more of the cult sometimes, but sometimes not. Oh, that sounds real decisive. Great work. Bob's it's time for Brady to be decisive and give us all that news that he knows. We call this the Brady Report and it's brought to you by our friends at All Pro shade. AllProChade.com Putting shade on you for any place you want in your house, your work, they'll do it all sorts of places. If you've got an office spot and you got a little patio that people want to use, but it's all covered in sun and direct sunlight, they'll put shades up, they'll put blinders on there. They've got those shade. What are those called? The ones that go straight up and down the screens? Yeah, the great screens. They don't look like old school screens. They look really nice. My neighbor just had one put on his front door for because the sun sets right on his house. That way it looks fantastic. And normally that kind of stuff was clunky in the olden days. All Pro Shade makes it look beautiful, like it's supposed to be part of your house. That's the key, is making it look like it's supposed to be there.

[Brady Bogan]

They can also do those window. Just the screens.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, just for your gap because we.

[Brady Bogan]

Had our guy Dave Har had it done to his house.

[John Holmberg]

It didn't put a blinder on it, just a screen on the window. Yeah, they're covered up. If you need shade or you need a room to have less sun in It. These are the people to call. They've been at it for over 20 years for a reason. They're the best in the business. All pro shade.com Moradi reported.

[Brady Bogan]

Good Tuesday morning to you, Phoenix.

[John Holmberg]

Hello world. Hi.

[Brady Bogan]

Happy Back to the Future Day. It's official. Official.

[John Holmberg]

Yesterday was a thought of it, but today is the day.

[Brady Bogan]

Happy National Pets for Veterans Day, National Apple Day and National Sasquatch Awareness Day.

[John Holmberg]

I'm aware of it.

[Brady Bogan]

A new report ranked the places where in America where statistically you're most likely to spot Big Fat.

[John Holmberg]

I know where he is all the time. I know 100% where you can find him. Your imagination. You found him. Congratulations. Search is over.

[Brady Bogan]

Here are the top states. U.S. states, all in the south, the top five.

[Announcer]

And Washington.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Washington.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Washington, West Virginia.

[John Holmberg]

What's he doing there? The Appalachians. He's not Snowbird. It's horrible there. It's worse.

[Brady Bogan]

Oregon, Michigan.

[Announcer]

Oh, Michigan. I didn't know.

[John Holmberg]

Michigan's got a lot of woods.

[Brady Bogan]

Ohio's number nine.

[John Holmberg]

Well, those people just like to be involved in stuff. We'll do it. Ohio is the neighbor that buys the car. When you buy a car.

[Brady Bogan]

We are number three on least likely.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I doubt Sasquatch wanted around 120 degrees with that coat. You don't have to believe in evolution, but you're pretty sure he's not hanging around here.

[Brady Bogan]

If you'd see him here, he'd be molting a lot of people.

[John Holmberg]

He'd look like me. He'd be bald and like not that great looking. A little clumsy, Big feet.

[Brady Bogan]

A couple of baseless fun facts. It's possible that Prince was one of the first kids to play Oregon Trail. It was created for an eighth grade teacher in Minneapolis in the fall of 1971. And at that time, Prince was an eighth grade student at that school.

[John Holmberg]

Well, we can't ask him.

[Brady Bogan]

Nope.

[John Holmberg]

We just figured this out. Can we cure cancer, please? And stop wondering if Prince played Oregon trail in the 8th grade.

[Brady Bogan]

40% of cats are left handed. Another 10% are ambidextrous.

[John Holmberg]

To 40% lefty. 10% both 50, right?

[Brady Bogan]

Yep. It's possible.

[John Holmberg]

And they both have, no matter what they come from, better handwriting than Brady and Brett.

[Announcer]

That's true.

[John Holmberg]

You could teach a cat to write. I guarantee you if I could do it, I could teach a cat to write five words better than you two. If I trained to cat, I would tape a pencil to its hand.

[Announcer]

Oh yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You shouldn't. You should not. I would diligently work 24 hours a day to get the cat to just write, my name is Brady Bogan and then surprise you and say, can you write this phrase down? And then have you write it and then compare the two. Say, which was written by a cat. Thousands of scientists would fail. No one would know. I'm not even sure Brett's is better than Brady's. They're both mine's.

[Brady Bogan]

Horrible.

[John Holmberg]

Michael J. Fox could write and it would look like the Declaration of independence compared to you too.

[Announcer]

The best part is my. The crazy part is my parents both have amazing handwriting.

[John Holmberg]

Did not pass it on.

[Announcer]

No.

[John Holmberg]

You could write better if you wrote my time right. If you. If you tried. I could be a professional basketball player if I put an effort into it.

[Brady Bogan]

A group of parrots is called Parrots. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

A buffet. Just checking. Retarded. Retarded. Retard of parrots.

[Brady Bogan]

Pandemonium.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I like those. There's a couple of the ones that are pandemoniums.

[Brady Bogan]

New analysis just looked at airlines. Worst customer service satisfaction worldwide broke down. They had a bunch of categories. Cancellation delays, lost luggage safety, poor customer service, poor traveling experience.

[John Holmberg]

It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness. And it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group and Doug Hopkins. Sometimes Doug Hopkins can be a savior for people in bad situations. Doug's there to help and the process will go fast. Cash offer for your home as is. No matter the circumstances and a straight offer, the deal's done. Doug doesn't change that offer or cancel because of contingencies or any other reason. And he'll back it up with a five thousand dollar guarantee. You can start the process online at doughopkins.com or grab that phone and sing along.

[Brady Bogan]

They crunched the numbers. It came out. Here are the top five worst airlines. Ryanair number five. Air France number four. United Airlines number three.

[Announcer]

Wow.

[Brady Bogan]

Frontier Airlines number two. Spirit number one.

[John Holmberg]

Come on. Spirit.

[Brady Bogan]

American Airlines.

[John Holmberg]

No way.

[Brady Bogan]

Spirit was not even in the top 10 airline anymore. Is that true?

[John Holmberg]

They folded up? Yeah, they're pretty close to folding up. They like filed for bankruptcy and then took all the seats out and then they sold.

[Announcer]

What about Allegiant?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

British Airways doing pretty good. Number ten. Wiz Air was number nine.

[John Holmberg]

Wiz Air. No thanks. I'm not. I'm skipping it on trip drive.

[Brady Bogan]

Flying the whiz.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You would see disappointment on someone's face, on the prices, Right? If they're like, you've won an all expense paid trip on Whiz Air and you'll show the guy's face like, ah, no. Get on Wiz Air.

[Brady Bogan]

Speaking of airlines, according to Google, I found the best time to buy your plane tickets for Thanksgiving. It's right now. Oh, 35 days before your travel date. Susan.

[John Holmberg]

I fly Wiz Air every day. I'm Susan for Wizz Air. Get on board. We'll allow your little dog too. The wizard better, better have brooms on it. I don't know. If it's a giant broom shaped plane. That would be hilarious.

[Brady Bogan]

And speaking of Thanksgiving, according to the American Farm Bureau Federation, America's turkey flock has decreased to the smallest size in 40 years, partially due to another resurgence in bird flu cases. Also reduced production.

[John Holmberg]

You think that's going to slow us down?

[Brady Bogan]

Are about 40% higher than they were last year.

[John Holmberg]

Save some DNA. If we eat them all, we'll just start over next year early.

[Brady Bogan]

Looking at a $32 per pound average.

[John Holmberg]

Is that good?

[Brady Bogan]

It was 94 cents.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's. That's much better. Last year.

[Brady Bogan]

Yep. Are expected to be 4.8 billion billion pounds of production. Just down 5%. Doesn't sound like it's down just the same.

[John Holmberg]

Wait, we have a shortage. Hold timeout. We have a shortage and we're going to eat 5 billion pounds.

[Brady Bogan]

We're down 5%. Yes. And that's down.

[John Holmberg]

Did we need more than 5 billion pounds of turkey for Thanksgiving or is that just for the whole year?

[Brett Vesely]

I don't know. I saw plenty at the store last year.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they're fine. They're just expensive.

[Brady Bogan]

Now, if you're willing to pony up. Good news is both Butterball and the National Turkey Federation say there will be enough frozen turkeys for Thanksgiving.

[John Holmberg]

We got plenty. It's like if you had $5 billion and you're down to 4.6. You're still doing all right. You're just a little disappointed. You went the wrong way. We got plenty.

[Brady Bogan]

Study at San Diego. San Diego State found that people that drink warm drinks in the winter have a better, better mental and physical health.

[John Holmberg]

Take that, Mormons.

[Brett Vesely]

Joseph Smith said.

[John Holmberg]

Now I had a lady try to explain that to me a little bit ago. About the coffee.

[Brady Bogan]

Hot food.

[John Holmberg]

Completely lost interest in mid sentence of it's so cut and dry. If, if you're drinking, I'm like, oh, if your God cares about what you drink, you're, you're, you're not going to win this fight.

[Brett Vesely]

Meanwhile, he's turning water into wine.

[John Holmberg]

Well, look, look, there's poverty, there's cancer, there's war. And he gives a flying F that you had a cup of joe, you picked the wrong one. No, you can't have coffee. He's furious about it. Like, but he's not furious about child cancer. He wants you to go to hell for that.

[Brady Bogan]

But he's still.

[John Holmberg]

Come on. Get involved in different ways.

[Announcer]

Or fentanyl or.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, fentanyl. Exactly.

[Announcer]

It's like.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's probably not good. I'm sure that they're not, you know, going to heaven, pretty much for the fentanyl thing. But that coffee deal is a big. It's a big one.

[Brady Bogan]

I've got a real quick Wild America.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brady Bogan]

Hello, my friends. Brady Bogan here with your Wild America. Isabella Orduna was surfing Wednesday at the Streamer Lane in Santa Cruz. And this is her experience was she was on the surfboard. Next thing you know, she felt something bite her toe. And then an otter jumped on the seat.

[John Holmberg]

Nice.

[Brady Bogan]

On the surfboard. Wouldn't get off.

[John Holmberg]

Cool. And she was still on the board with it. That's impressive.

[Brady Bogan]

Remained on her board for 20 minutes. Wait a minute.

[John Holmberg]

That can't be right.

[Brady Bogan]

Before being driven away with help from.

[John Holmberg]

Other beachgoers, she was laying on the board. I was. I was picturing her actually surfing. And then it turned into Scooby Doo. That she rode away for 20 minutes.

[Brady Bogan]

Basically was on the board just laying out. He did a friendly nip. Did not break skin on the toe. Br.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you did that.

[Brady Bogan]

Hello.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, hi. Don't worry about me. I just. Friendly nip.

[Brady Bogan]

Otter. Hi.

[John Holmberg]

What are we gonna do here? I'm just gonna piss her ass.

[Brady Bogan]

So he played on the board.

[John Holmberg]

Want to play cards? Yeah, I'll play cards. You're friendly otter. Yeah. I just give you friendly nip.

[Brady Bogan]

Evidently, there's one aggressive otter.

[John Holmberg]

Just one.

[Brady Bogan]

Dubbed Otter841 because he had tag on him. And that tag has come off. But since then, they feel it's still.

[John Holmberg]

That's an impressive gang member. You can tag an otter.

[Brady Bogan]

Yep. And he's done it to numerous surfers.

[John Holmberg]

He's tagged them as well.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. One guy had it. He got onto the leash of his.

[John Holmberg]

Board, just took off and worked his.

[Brady Bogan]

Way up the leash. And then.

[John Holmberg]

Adorable, but mean.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, this one seems to be biting or clawing the servers. Just wants to get on the board.

[John Holmberg]

Just roll over and start cracking clams on their bellies. Adorable. Then you realize how strong they are, that they're just mashing clamshells.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know if you saw this, but Saturday night, the San Jose Sharks hosted the Pittsburgh Penguins at the SAP Center. During the game, it was the Hispanic Heritage Night. And during the game, they posted a sj. Sharks fans love ice. Go get him, boys. It was a pro ice.

[John Holmberg]

In the game.

[Brady Bogan]

During the game, Hispanic. Hispanic Heritage Night.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, geez.

[Brady Bogan]

They apologized for the message.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it was inevitable that the word ice was going to be used at the hockey rink, so it could have gotten confused pretty quickly.

[Announcer]

Sounds like something the Bob's would come up with.

[John Holmberg]

We should have Ice Night. I mean, in Mexican. Yeah. Great job, Bob. You. You announced that I'm one of the Bob's. Welcome to Ice Night, Mexicans.

[Brady Bogan]

Finally, Kohler just debuted a new toilet camera that watches you go and when. It uses an algorithm to analyze the results and track your health. It's called Dakota D E K O D A. And it costs about 600 bucks. Fits on the side of most toilet bowls, and it uses optical sensors to scan your waste. Then it spits out the stats on your phone. You sign in on a fingerprint. Fingerprint scanner, it knows whose wasted scanning. It can tell you whether you're dehydrated, your percentage of sessions are regular each week, and it looks at signs of any blood.

[John Holmberg]

Huh.

[Brady Bogan]

They say, don't worry, there's no chance of your junk showing up on camera.

[John Holmberg]

Speak for yourself.

[Brady Bogan]

Down into your toilet.

[John Holmberg]

My balls are down there.

[Brett Vesely]

I was gonna say you're in.

[Brady Bogan]

You might have some.

[John Holmberg]

They're riding around the logs like Frogger.

[Brady Bogan]

On top of the $600, there's also an annual subscription fee of $70.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's interesting. You got it.

[Brady Bogan]

And if you want to add another.

[John Holmberg]

If you want to give a sniff. There you go.

[Announcer]

All right.

[Brady Bogan]

If you want to add another family member on there, it's another $130.

[John Holmberg]

Another 130 or goes up to 100 first.

[Brady Bogan]

It's $130 for the family plan.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, so. So 70 for you, 130 for family.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Kohler health.com got a couple of radio.

[John Holmberg]

Videos, by the way. This guy wants to see if Brett can do the new KTAR slug line. Have you seen it?

[Announcer]

No.

[John Holmberg]

I'll write it down.

[Brady Bogan]

Ready?

[John Holmberg]

Go ahead.

[Brady Bogan]

All right. First one's a little.

[Brett Vesely]

Hang on.

[Brady Bogan]

We get vet work on a cat. Cat's got something in its eyes. You'll like this one, John.

[John Holmberg]

All right. I don't like eyes.

[Brady Bogan]

Go to. Right.

[Brett Vesely]

Go to.

[John Holmberg]

Go ahead. No, no, go ahead. I'm not done writing it because I.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, you still have connections issues.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Brady Bogan]

We're still being.

[John Holmberg]

This guy thinks you can't do what they're saying at ktr. Now you'll see Holmberg's morning sickness. All right, let me get my newsbed for Brett. Not Brady's. This is the new. A breaking news story if I can find it. Oh, I don't know where the hell that's.

[Brady Bogan]

What's he.

[John Holmberg]

Over under 0% chance he can say this.

[Announcer]

Oh, come on.

[Brett Vesely]

Here's my concentrate, Brett.

[Announcer]

There's some conflants in me.

[John Holmberg]

And now Breathfest. And they say, I'm Brett Vesely.

[Announcer]

I'm Brett Vesely. KTR news, all news. Sl.

[John Holmberg]

See?

[Brady Bogan]

Say it.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't even try it again. Hold on. No, no.

[Brady Bogan]

Do it.

[John Holmberg]

Do it. All right, here we go. Go again. Here we go. Can't do it. He can't see the word written down.

[Announcer]

I didn't know that I'd be laughing.

[John Holmberg]

Go ahead, Brett Vessel. We're going to Brett Vesley in the field. Brett. Brett Vesley.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, my God. I'm seeing it coming up.

[Announcer]

Oh, all news.

[John Holmberg]

No Sl. Do it. He can't do it. He's a child.

[Brady Bogan]

How are they getting away with that?

[John Holmberg]

They have billboards that say all news. No slam. I had wreck my. That's going to kill people on the road if they keep doing that. Told you we work with a baby.

[Brady Bogan]

What are you talking about?

[John Holmberg]

You couldn't even, like, button it up.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, then I read ahead.

[John Holmberg]

I know, but that's the problem you have. You get ahead of yourself, son. Terrible people. Oh, there's a cat with goopy eye on the TV on top of all this. Toledo's so sad today. I don't even like him in the room. Look at him. It's a big puddle of misery. All right, go ahead. Come check this. Oh, they're reaching in with tweezers into this cat's eye, and they're pulling out. What is that?

[Brady Bogan]

Foxtail?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it was. It looked like a bug or something. It's a foxtail. Got stuck in this cat's eyeball. Oh, my God. Oh, is he okay? He's okay.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, he said he's okay.

[John Holmberg]

That's being pretty darn good. Most cats wouldn't tolerate that. But he must have been in misery. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I can't stand eyeball stuff.

[Brady Bogan]

Next one's the most disturbing mouth I've ever seen. This girl is yelling.

[John Holmberg]

She's almost. Oh, my God. Her teeth are set back in her mouth. Too far. She's got something wrong with her goofy eye. Oh, her lips. Lips are about 3 inches ahead of her teeth. Her lips are literally 3 or 4 inches ahead of her teeth. Her mouth is set back behind her lips. Two, three inches. Yes. She is creepy, man, That's Halloween. Look at that. It looks like. It looks like the alien when it had the mouth inside the mouth.

[Brett Vesely]

Something's weird with her hair.

[Brady Bogan]

This might. Yeah, I'm thinking it. I kept looking at it.

[Brett Vesely]

Look at her hair.

[John Holmberg]

Well, her eyeballs are goofy, too, like she's got a disease. She turns her head, she looks a little like Dave.

[Brett Vesely]

Looks like she's got snakes. It's not like, silky or anything like that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I don't like that. Whatever that is. It's nightmare fuel. Oh, for Christ's sake. Every picture between the pinky and fourth toe, they are scraping out some serious Gouda on this guy's foot. And it is. It's getting deeper and deeper. Oh, my God. It looked like massive amounts of dried earwax.

[Announcer]

Remember.

[Brett Vesely]

Remember that. That Jif. Mushroom. Mushroom.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Brady Bogan]

What did you say?

[John Holmberg]

Brett, you're up. Snake.

[Announcer]

Oh, okay.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. Mushroom. Snake. I saw a snake. All right, here we go.

[Announcer]

All right, we'll start with this one. Oh, mine aren't too bad today.

[John Holmberg]

We'll play it.

[Announcer]

Okay, what's gonna happen next?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, we're gonna play what's gonna happen next. All right. It's a guy with an Edgar haircut in an Izod T shirt and another.

[Announcer]

Guy who got a birthday cake there.

[John Holmberg]

ATN T shirt.

[Brett Vesely]

He's gonna get buried into the cake.

[John Holmberg]

He's got a massive birthday cake. Oh, we're playing right now. What's going to happen next? All right, Brady, go ahead.

[Brady Bogan]

I think someone is going to get bukkake.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Wow. Write that down as. I didn't expect that, but I hope you're right, because that would be pretty awesome.

[Brett Vesely]

They're in a grass hut.

[John Holmberg]

They're in a grass hut. Grass hut. Buki is a great band name. All right, the grass hut tells me that we're about to have a massive fire starting with his stupid Edgar haircut.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, I like that.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Toledo.

[Brett Vesely]

I just think he was going to be smashed all the way through the cake.

[John Holmberg]

It's a big, tall cake. All right, let's go and see if Edgar. What happens to Edgar Bukake? Fire or smash Smashed him in. Oh, it's a dildo in it. They smashed his face in the great big.

[Announcer]

And he's throwing it at people, and.

[John Holmberg]

Then he gets a huge. Oh, he's mad. They mush him down there, and he pulls it out with his mouth. It immediately goes in his mouth, and he gets furious at everybody. Terrible throw. Bounces off the roof. And then he throws it again. That's great. It went right in his mouth. That was a perfect shot. Hilarious.

[Announcer]

I don't know. I don't even get this one.

[John Holmberg]

All right, here's stupid. A girl taking off her shoes. She's holding her shoe. Guy's got his pee pee out. He's gonna pee in her shoe. It appears he's gonna pee in her shoe. Is he peeing? Yeah, it's serial killer. He's peeing in her shoe, filling her shoe with pee. She's gonna drink that. Is this what happens next to she's gonna drink finishes? Is she? No, she's just gonna put it right back on. Full of urine. It's one of those sketcher slip ons. Yeah, there's an additional. Yeah, I don't understand why. And she. I don't understand why she's pushing down into it. And then there's just pee in her shoe trend. Gross. What the.

[Brady Bogan]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

Next.

[Brady Bogan]

It's a new soft shoe.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I guess that was nothing worse than a wet shoe. All right, we're on top of a building, looking down at a guy who's hanging off a ledge about two stories below us. He's hanging on. I don't know if he wants to. Oh, he's. Oh, somebody's holding him. Somebody's holding him. Oh, he's been let go.

[Limitless TRT Representative]

He let go.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. We got the whole thing on tape. Oh, who films this stuff?

[Brady Bogan]

Two more feet who have been in the hedge.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it was so close to just a Disney ending. But no, he missed. And cement one. Geez Louise, put the phone down. Okay, here's somebody lighting a firecracker out of their. Already just wrapped around the crane. Oh, my God. They're wrapped around his penis. They're tied to his penis. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. And the girl's just laughing, having the time of her life. Yeah. No, that thing is blown up. Oh, my God.

[Announcer]

Kids these days.

[John Holmberg]

Come on, man.

[Brady Bogan]

No slant on that kid.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I don't use no slant.

[Announcer]

Here's a little spinner for you.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, where is she? Cute girl walking along some train tracks. Just went to the do not enter area. She's getting down on the train tracks. It's like some sort of subway. She's running down there. Here comes the train. I bet we see her again. But she's gonna be going fast. The other way. She's off the screen. I don't like the anticipation of this is brutal. It's just a surveillance camera of train tracks, and a girl is now missing. Here she comes running back. Here comes a train. Oh, it's too late. But watch, there's more. Oh, she shoots out into the.

[Announcer]

Oh, she's just rolling and trips that one. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And as the train goes through the next entry point, she's still attached to the side of it, rolling along. And knocks another girl over. Oh, my Lord. Why? Oh, my God. Ha.

[Brady Bogan]

Goose.

[Announcer]

Ah, this one's just dumb, AI. All right, well, we could watch it, sure.

[John Holmberg]

All right, that's dumb. An Indian speedrunner. He's gonna win. Chased by deodorant. All right, that's just awful. I like the shower Olympics, this guy says. I'm Matt, your local Mormon LDS expert. The Mormon doctrine dictates that they cannot drink hot and drinks and partake in drugs and stuff like that. It's called the Word of Wisdom. And the Word of Wisdom came about when Brigham Young's wife got sick cleaning up spittoons after the meetings. And she bitched at them enough that he finally wrote in a church doctrine to stop chewing tobacco. I don't know enough about it to tell you that how they added hot and cold drinks, but there you go, your Mormon fact of the day. Okay, I didn't know that. Brigham Young and Joseph Smith's wife, they. They seem sort of out on the whole thing.

[Brady Bogan]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

Mrs. Young's been nagging me pretty heavy about the whole spittoon deal. If you guys are gonna chew that stuff, don't. You know what? Let's just make it so God hates it. Yeah, I just heard from God again. He told me no more chewing tobacco. Oh, but we love it. I know God hates it, though. Stop doing it or you're gonna go to hell. Is that better, Gladys? Are you happy now? Thank you, Brigham.

[Announcer]

Can you give the word again? All these idiots missed first time gig.

[John Holmberg]

It's gig. Gig. There we go. Anyway, that, my friends, is your Brady report. Stay off the trains and stay away from coffee. It's 98 Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.