Podcast Summary
Podcast: Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Arizona (98KUPD | Hubbard Radio)
Episode Date: October 21, 2025
Main Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogan, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Episode Title: “Bird Flu May Affect Turkey Market This Year – Otter Bites Woman On Surfboard – New Toilet Analyzes Your Poop – Asking Bret To Say The New KTAR Slogan”
Episode Overview
This episode offers the usual raucous banter and irreverent news breakdown from Holmberg and his crew. They tackle issues ranging from Thanksgiving turkey shortages (thanks to bird flu), wild animal encounters (a rogue otter in Santa Cruz), a cutting-edge “smart toilet” that scans your poop, and a hilarious challenge involving a tongue-twisty KTAR news slogan. Rich in sarcastic humor, pop culture jabs, and plenty of Arizona flavor, the show blends quirky facts with offbeat commentary, ensuring entertainment for both longtime listeners and new audiences.
Segment Breakdown & Major Talking Points
1. Technical Contest Glitches and the "Gig" Code
Time: 01:11 – 06:20
- App Contest Issues: The team jokes about a technical failure during a word-based app contest, blamed on an AWS outage ("yesterday was wiped off the map" – 03:05, Bret Vesely).
- Casual Honesty: The hosts openly admit to not reading company emails or caring much about contest details.
- Meta Moment:
- Quote, John Holmberg (03:38): “So did we. Actually, sir, it's killed some time. I wouldn't say it's wasted time... It's Schrodinger's cat really. At this point, you were playing a game that was already dead.”
- Resolution: The contest is extended. If you had issues entering, just refresh the app or try again.
2. Brady Report: Fun News & Strange Holidays
Time: 06:41 – 13:08
- National Days: Back to the Future Day, National Pets for Veterans Day, National Apple Day, and National Sasquatch Awareness Day.
- Bigfoot Sightings: The team runs through a list of states where you’re most likely to spot Bigfoot; Washington, West Virginia, Oregon, Michigan are tops (07:22).
- Quote, John Holmberg (07:12): “I know 100% where you can find him. Your imagination.”
- Baseless Fun Facts: Prince possibly played Oregon Trail as a student, cat-handedness stats, and a debate about handwriting quality.
- Handwriting Dig, John Holmberg (09:10): "You could teach a cat to write. I guarantee you if I could do it, I could teach a cat to write five words better than you two."
3. Airlines with the Worst Customer Service
Time: 10:33 – 12:19
- Combined rankings drop Ryanair, Air France, United, Frontier, and Spirit as worst (11:49).
- Odd picks: Wiz Air makes the top 10.
- Joke, John Holmberg (12:11): "Wiz Air. No thanks. I'm skipping it on trip drive."
4. Thanksgiving Turkey Shortage Panic
Time: 13:08 – 14:40
- Bird Flu & Smaller Flocks: America's turkey population is at a 40-year low due to bird flu.
- Brady Bogan (13:37): "Looking at a $32 per pound average."
- Holmberg's Take:
- John Holmberg (14:11): “Wait, we have a shortage and we're going to eat 5 billion pounds?”
5. Hot Drinks and Mormon Doctrine
Time: 14:40 – 15:52
- Warm Drink Benefits: San Diego State finds people drinking warm drinks in winter have better health.
- Mormon Jokefest:
- Bret Vesely (14:58): “Joseph Smith said—”
- John Holmberg (15:18): "Look, there's poverty, there's cancer, there's war. And he gives a flying F that you had a cup of joe, you picked the wrong one."
6. Wild Animal Encounters (Wild America)
Time: 15:52 – 17:43
- Surfing Otter: Woman's toe bitten by an otter in Santa Cruz; the otter refuses to leave her board for 20 minutes (15:55).
- Quote, John Holmberg (16:22): “She was still on the board with it. That's impressive."
- Fun roleplay as the otter: "Want to play cards? Yeah, I'll play cards. You're friendly otter."
- AGGRESSIVE OTTER: "Otter841" tags surfers and is reportedly biting and climbing on boards.
7. Sports Gaffe: “Ice” on Hispanic Heritage Night
Time: 17:59 – 18:36
- Sharks' Hispanic Heritage Night blunder: scoreboard displays “Sharks fans love ice,” which is inappropriate given the context.
- Holmberg Deadpan (18:43): "We should have Ice Night. I mean, in Mexican. Yeah. Great job, Bob."
8. New Smart Toilet That Analyzes Your Waste
Time: 18:55 – 20:29
- Toilet Tech: Kohler’s “Dekoda” toilet camera scans your waste for health stats.
- Brady Bogan (19:45): “It uses optical sensors to scan your waste. Then it spits out the stats on your phone.”
- Subscription Model: $600 for the unit; $70/year for analysis; $130 extra for “family plan.”
- Holmberg’s Classic Line (19:53): “Speak for yourself. My balls are down there.”
9. The KTAR Slogan Challenge
Time: 20:37 – 22:45
- Challenge: The team goofs on KTAR’s new “All News, No Slant” slogan and dares Bret to recite it for comic effect.
- Holmberg, egging Bret on (21:38): "Over under 0% chance he can say this."
- Bret Vesely, struggling (21:59): “I didn’t even try it again. Hold on. No, no.”
- Holmberg (22:22): “Do it. He can’t do it. He’s a child.”
- The segment descends into laughter, mockery, and back-and-forth jabs about local radio marketing.
10. “Radio Videos” Segment – Disturbing and Absurd Video Commentary
Time: 22:45 – end (~29:35)
- Grotesque and Wild Videos:
- Cat eye surgery involving a foxtail (23:19)
- Woman with a wild dental configuration (24:17): “Her lips are literally 3 or 4 inches ahead of her teeth… That’s Halloween.”
- Foot cheese cleaning, cake pranks involving a hidden dildo, urinating in a shoe, dangerous building ledges, fireworks tied to private parts, near-train-miss antics, and AI absurdity.
- Holmberg on the cake video (26:24): “He pulls it out with his mouth… Hilarious.”
- Narrative flavor: The breakdowns are laced with disgust, laughter, and incredulity.
11. Random: Mormon Fact of the Day
Time: 29:35 – 30:24
- Explanation (via a listener) of the “Word of Wisdom” and how Mormon doctrine on hot drinks emerged.
Standout Quotes & Memorable Moments
- John Holmberg (03:38): “It's Schrodinger's cat really. At this point, you were playing a game that was already dead. So when did it actually die?”
- John Holmberg (07:12): “I know 100% where you can find [Bigfoot]. Your imagination. You found him. Congratulations. Search is over.”
- John Holmberg (09:10): "You could teach a cat to write. I guarantee you if I could do it, I could teach a cat to write five words better than you two."
- Bret Vesely (14:58): “Joseph Smith said—”
- John Holmberg (15:18): "Look, there's poverty, there's cancer, there's war. And he gives a flying F that you had a cup of joe…"
- Brady Bogan (19:45): “It uses optical sensors to scan your waste. Then it spits out the stats on your phone.”
- John Holmberg (21:38): "Over under 0% chance he can say this."
- John Holmberg (24:17): “Her lips are literally 3 or 4 inches ahead of her teeth… That’s Halloween.”
Notable Timestamps
- App Contest/AWS Outage: 01:11 – 06:20
- Bigfoot & Holidays: 06:41 – 08:16
- Worst Airlines: 10:33 – 12:19
- Turkey Market Concerns: 13:08 – 14:40
- Warm Drinks/Mormonism: 14:40 – 15:52
- Otter Attacks Surfers: 15:52 – 17:43
- Jacked Up Sports “Ice” Sign: 17:59 – 18:36
- Smart Toilet News: 18:55 – 20:29
- KTAR Slogan Challenge: 20:37 – 22:45
- Video Review Shenanigans: 22:45 – 29:35
- Mormon Fact of the Day: 29:35 – 30:24
Episode Tone & Style
Riffing, irreverent, deeply sarcastic, but stacked with oddball facts and local color. Holmberg’s crew are never afraid of an off-color joke, and the show leans heavily into Roasting 101—of each other, their listeners, and the wilder aspects of daily news.
Bottom Line
For listeners who missed the episode, expect hilarious peer heckling, bizarre animal news, some real information (buried beneath the punchlines), and a winking send-up of morning radio’s weirdest traditions. The “turkey shortage” and “smart toilet” stories are highlights, as is the mocking of KTAR’s slogan. All of it served in the show’s signature rowdy, unfiltered Arizona style.
