10-24-25 - Emailer Says The FBI Will Be Coming To AZ Soon Over The NBA Gambling Sting - China Is Hiring Hot Models To Date Tech Millionaires And Steal Trade Secrets

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness – "The FBI Is Coming to AZ Over the NBA Gambling Sting, China’s Sex Spies, and Local Restaurant Fronts"

Date: October 24, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Podcast: 98KUPD, Arizona

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Overview

This episode dives into Arizona’s underground gambling scene, speculations about the FBI’s looming presence regarding NBA gambling scandals, and the surprising methods China uses to steal American tech secrets—namely, sending "hot models" to seduce and infiltrate the tech industry. The crew mixes personal stories, listener emails, and hilarious speculation, capturing their irreverent and insightful approach to news and culture.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Deepening NBA Gambling Scandal Reaches Arizona

• Listener Email Breaks Down Local Connection

  • A listener email claims FBI attention is heading to Phoenix due to underground poker games, involving "prominent local celebrities," ex-NBA players, and even “hall of fame” pro athletes.
  • Descriptions of high-stakes games, accessible drugs, and escorts, with one notable quote:

    “I did partake, however, in the free prostitutes. And let me say, ASU's finest gets the job done. The FBI is coming here and I promise you this will get ugly for our local teams.” (John reading listener email, 03:04)

• Hosts Unpack the Operation:

  • The role of the "fish"—celebrities used as bait to lure unsuspecting players into rigged games.

    “Chauncey Billups is the big fish...Turns out Chauncey was in on the whole thing.” (John, 02:21)

  • John describes a personal encounter at a secretive high-stakes poker game held at a Scottsdale pizza joint, likening the vibe to a scene from "The Sopranos."

    “The minute I got there I knew...this is a Soprano scene.” (John, 03:48)

• Mobster Methodology & Restaurant Fronts:

  • Discussion about how restaurants—especially those with generic pizza boxes—might serve as fronts for money laundering, referencing old mob techniques:

    “That was one of the things they said, if you are getting pizza from a place that doesn't have a name on the box, that's getting a deal, they're getting a deal. Just be wary of that.” (John, 09:13)

2. Political Spin: Trump, the NBA & The FBI

• Stephen A. Smith’s Theory
  • Cites Smith accusing Trump of orchestrating gambling investigations as “revenge” for NBA criticism.

    “Yesterday, Stephen A. Smith said, this is Trump's revenge. They spent years...attacking, marching against him...” (John, 10:26)

  • Conversation shifts to Trump’s casino background and alleged inside knowledge of New York sports betting circles.

3. The Shadowy World of Restaurant Money Laundering

• John’s Confession:
  • John recounts aiding in skimming cash as a young restaurant worker, highlighting lax managerial oversight and peer-led corruption:

    “We were voiding stuff. And if you paid in cash, there was a good chance that was getting split between whoever the waiter was and we'd manipulate the numbers.” (John, 15:30)

  • Anecdote about personal relief upon hearing of his old boss’s demise, as it meant old crimes would never be discovered.

4. Michael Jordan, Gambling, and the "Baseball Exile"

• Speculation on MJ's 90s Hiatus:
  • The crew jokes about the persistent rumors that Michael Jordan’s baseball stint was actually a quiet suspension for gambling debts:

    “Nobody talks about the Michael Jordan thing being what it really was. The guy just really loved baseball? Stop it.” (John, 18:24) “He did his penance by being forced to play baseball for a couple of years.” (John, 18:30)

5. “Sex Warfare”: China’s Model Spies Target Silicon Valley

• Instagram Culture & The Spy Playbook

  • John rails against Instagram-era vanity, setting up the discussion of foreign governments’ seduction operations:

    “Instagram has created a bunch of people who think they're pretty...filters have made it so women in their 70s can think they're 30 again.” (John, 25:29)

• Eyes Wide Open: If She’s a 10, You’re an Asset

  • Reports out of Silicon Valley warn tech workers: too-attractive women showing interest are likely spies seeking trade secrets.

    "If she's a 10 and you have to recognize you're not, and she came out of nowhere, she's stealing secrets." (John, 26:24) "Elon Musk...if she's a 10, you're an asset. He’s basically telling all his ugly employees, especially guys at SpaceX..." (John, 40:53)

• The “Every Man Would Fall For It” Admission:

  • John and Brady confess they’d easily be duped by foreign "sex assets":

    "This is something that would hurt me greatly later. I would be a target." (John, 28:57)

  • Faux recruiting of ugly American men to serve as honeytrap decoys protecting US secrets.

6. Mail Order Wives & Green Card Love Stories

• Old-School Immigration via Marriage
  • Anecdotes about friends who imported wives from Asia in exchange for domestic servitude—and how quickly they disappeared after securing citizenship.

    “He hired those Asian girls to come over and he married one and 90 days later, she just disappeared.” (John, 42:33)

  • Discussion of the lasting happiness and envy such arrangements surfaced in local communities.

7. Tech Decoys & “Operation Lowercase B”

• Tongue-in-Cheek Solutions
  • The crew jokes about selling themselves as clueless decoys to lure and mislead Chinese and Russian spies, envisioning a scenario where the ugliest guys are the best national security asset.

    “You put me out there knowing nothing about your product at all and say, just tell these girls whatever you think you know. Cuz I don't know nothing. And go save the United States.” (John, 40:11)

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On the criminal underbelly:

  “You can take the boy out of Brooklyn. She can't take the Brooklyn out of the guy. And you can't take the mob out of him if he's been part of that too.” (John, 05:37)

• On naivety at high-stakes games:

  "I'm like, oh, it's...this is a Soprano scene." (John, 03:48)

• On the lure of mob money for local eateries:

  “It’s tempting. If Porkopolis, if there was an opportunity overnight...they launder some money through your place, you get a little extra on top, you’re gonna stay afloat for a while.” (John, 06:15)

• On social media-fueled delusion:

  “Instagram has created a bunch of people who think they're pretty.” (John, 25:29)

• On sex spies infiltrating tech:

  “If you work at the nuclear power plant and a hot woman with an accent suddenly wants to blow you, you're an asset. That's it.” (John, 28:54)

• On the decoy fantasy:

  “Ugly guys banging these sex asset, sex warfare spies. It's almost...gonna make me cry how American it is.” (John, 39:12)

• On dubious international marriages:

  “He had the dream woman. And, yeah, it was fleeting, but he saved up money. He got one. She showed up, no questions asked, gave him everything he wanted. And then, I know women are like, that's gross. But that's better.” (John, 44:50)

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Notable Timestamps

• Listener email kicks off NBA gambling story: 01:15 – 03:25
• Personal mob poker game anecdote: 03:31 – 05:59
• Money laundering and pizza box talk: 08:40 – 10:25
• Stephen A. Smith/Trump theory: 10:26 – 12:15
• Charles Barkley gambling segment: 13:41 – 15:24
• John confesses to past restaurant theft: 15:34 – 18:22
• Michael Jordan baseball punishment speculation: 18:22 – 20:09
• Conspiracy mailbag — Brady’s heroin plot: 22:43 – 24:06
• China’s sex spies and Silicon Valley: 25:29 – 30:26
• Operation Decoy: turning ugly men into anti-spy assets: 35:46 – 40:44
• Stories of mail order brides & green card escapes: 42:33 – 45:16

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Tone and Style

Casual, comedic, irreverently insightful, with a mix of skepticism and humility about their own naïveté. The episode toggles between outlandish speculation, true crime storytelling, and real-world warnings—always with a self-deprecating, “everyman” attitude.

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For New Listeners

This episode’s blend of real Arizona backstories, sports scandal analysis, and global intrigue—served with relentless humor and relatable personal anecdotes—makes for compelling and entertaining listening, even for those unfamiliar with Holmberg’s Morning Sickness.

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Podcast summary by AI; original content by John Holmberg and crew, 98KUPD.

Transcript

[A]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition, and accessories. Hey, what's up? It's Mo and my friends at the University of Advancing Technology has been ranked the number one best college for computer science for not one, but two years in a row. Which makes total sense because UAT are always on the lookout for those who don't just embrace technology, they live it. From advancing computer science and robotics to cybersecurity, gaming, and artificial intelligence, UAT is where innovation thrives. So. So if you're ready to lead the next tech revolution, visit UAT edu.mo. and don't just study tech. Live it. Hey, it's Brett Vesely, and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look, Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?

[B]

Brett, the last thing you want to do is sell the gun to someone who can't legally own one. Tell him not to put himself at.

[A]

Risk and come into MMP Guns, where.

[B]

He'Ll get a fair offer and he can rest easy knowing it's not getting into the wrong hands.

[A]

Okay, but what if he lives out of state? Easy.

[B]

Legalgunbuyer.com and he can do it all online.

[A]

It's really that simple. There you MMP Guns or legalgunbuyer.com the safe and legal way to sell your firearms. You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? Good morning, everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Friday. It is 5:45. There's. It's the morning sickness. My name is John. There's Brady. There's Brett. There's Big Dick Toledo. We're off and running for a glorious day where still everybody's just talking about that silly gambling issue. Get this email. Got this one. This is a good one, says Holmberg. I just want to let you know the FBI gambling thing is coming to Phoenix. Count on it. I played in what you'd call an underground poker game here in Scottsdale. For a while. I started to think things were rigged or bad things were going on that weren't right. So I kind of got out of it. The fish they got for the games, and that's a term I'm learning this week. Fish, huh?

[B]

Getting at the fish.

[A]

Yeah, you know, the fish. The fish come to lure you in, like the fish is there, and then, like, he's the fish. He gets people to.

[B]

We Aren't the fish.

[A]

No, no. Fish is the shooter. We are the. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah. See, but the fish make it look like, oh, there's, you're going fishing. You get a guy. So Chauncey Billups is the big fish, but you get that. And evidently that's what they do to make their game seem like, how could we, how could we cheat you? We've got an NBA coach here. Like, he wouldn't be part of anything on. Turns out Chauncey was in on the whole thing. If the allegations are true that he knew it was rigged and he was taking money off of that. Anyway, this guy says the fish they got for the games were prominent local celebrities, including former sons. A couple of times we had hall of Fame, Major league Baseball and NFL guys and made the whole room fall out. I got out when I realized I was pushing seven figures in action. The games were getting way too big. They're also awesome. Everything is free. I don't do drugs, but there was a table of whatever you wanted. I did partake, however, in the free prostitutes. And let me say, ASU's finest gets the job done. The FBI is coming here and I promise you this will get ugly for our local teams. Oh, man.

[B]

And I mean, they bring the, the fish in.

[A]

Yeah, well, they'll fly whether or not.

[B]

They knew that the thing was rigged. Well, if they're basically getting paid, they're.

[A]

Like, hey, sure, they give him 50 grand. That was. Chauncey billets got 50 grand. And if the, if the allegations are true, he knew the games weren't on the up. There's the, that's where it gets really like, bad. If like he was luring guys in or inviting a Brett. Come on. I was like, oh my God, Chauncey Billups wants to invite me to this big super NF NBA poker game with a bunch of guys. Well, how could you not know? I mean, dude, anytime with as legal as gambling is, if somebody's having a poker party at 2 in the morning, Right? That's what I'm saying. Pretty much like, and I don't know any of these guys, and you're watching a hundred thousand dollars go in and out of the. It's. It's probably not on the up and up. Yeah, in the back of Vincentorio's or something. Come on. I mean, I told you the time I had. I shouldn't even say the place, but it was a pizza place. Very well known pizza place in Scottsdale that a guy I had met who was doing contracting work right he was, he just said, hey, I have this poker game. I do it like 12:30 every night over at this restaurant. I'm like, oh yeah. The minute I got there I knew. I walked in the door, I'm like, oh, it's. Oh, oh, it's this. This is a Soprano scene like this. And it wasn't because everybody was Italian. They had a dude walking around telling stories and like he was. And everybody knew who he was but me. And he's like back in 77 and he's smoking a cigar and he's telling these great stories while the, while we're playing and there's two or three tables going on. I was out so fast it was ridiculous. And I was told to bring like a thousand bucks and I did. But I'm watching as the night went on. 12, 15, 20 thousand dollar hands. And these guys weren't blinking. And there was another dude in the back. If you needed more money, you could go borrow it. And I knew the second I walked in it was bad. And I'm like, I had no idea. And it was at a. Just a pizza place that is kind of popular. And when it closed, we met in there and it was, it was strange. And you know, we've always known that the witness relocation programs here in town, these guys, you know, you can, you can take. Britney Spears is still a hillbilly because she's from Louisiana, like the deep woods. You can take the girl out of the woods, you can't take the woods out of the girl. Same thing with the mob. You can take the boy out of Brooklyn. She can't take the Brooklyn out of the guy. And you can't take the mob out of him if he's been part of that too. Brett knows that there's no such thing. His whole family got that.

[B]

That guy that sent the.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Email in this morning. I mean, it'll be interesting to see when things ravel where how many restaurants.

[A]

Or that's what you're concerned about. I'm concerned about where they had them boarding teams. You're concerned about who's Viet Shack involved. Because I'm out if. Yeah, I mean, think about it. If you had a restaurant and you're like. And Brett's people come up and go, time's not so good right now. But they could be. Let us borrow this restaurant from you. Yeah. They launder some money through your place, you get a little extra on top, you're going to stay afloat for a while. Whether your business is good or not. It's tempting If Porkopolis. If there was an opportunity overnight, someone.

[B]

Wants to do a nightclub or whatever it is.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I got a card game.

[A]

You got a card game.

[B]

I'd love to use your lease, your space.

[A]

They don't actually. Those words give you.

[B]

I'll give you money for that time.

[A]

Right. And then you got to give us back. Yeah. If you don't even. Just close it. Close it at 11 and make sure everyone that you have here is out. We'll provide chefs and everything else.

[B]

It's. It was. Yeah.

[A]

Because they had food. But it wasn't from that place that when we were eating, it was. I mean, it was. It was nice. We didn't have hookers and I didn't notice. You know, I was. I still am that naive towards the whole thing. Maybe there was like a table of blow I didn't know about. I didn't know. I. It's been like the last five or six years where I was like, oh, my God, this stuff's all around me. Like, I've seen. I didn't realize you're open.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So naive to drugs and coke and all that stuff. I've never. I'm, like, shocked to this day when I'm like, they do what? It still gets me. So I could have been in a room where that was going on, I wouldn't have known. And also probably prostitutes, but there were no girls there the night I was at that thing. And I never even thought of it as, like. Like, I knew it was not. I knew it felt funny, but I never thought, this is the Bonanno's. I never, you know, I never went that far. I thought it was just a bunch of dudes posing as, you know, tough Italians playing. You know, this is what we do. We get dice getting like, all right. But, I mean, there's a. When I started seeing that money get big, I'm like, I'm way out of my league here. I'm no good at poker. And there was no celebrity there. But that dude that was talking wouldn't shut up. So this makes you wonder how many athletes are involved if this guy's been to places here in Phoenix. And we remember when Kyle Vanden Bosch used to come in here when he was a Rookie. It was 2002 or three. Yeah. And he told us that the rookie symposium, they warned all the rookies to play for Arizona. Here are the place. They gave him a list. Here are the places you cannot go, cannot be seen with this. This town is filled with the underground. And if you get seen with them. That was back when the NFL didn't care about gambling at all, you know, like you, not as far as financial gains. They had to stay away from it. And they were men. It was. It was big, long list. And that's when I learned that pizza boxes that don't have a name on them, they're just a dude throwing dough in the air. The generic are provided through a certain group of people that is keeping that restaurant in a safe space. You get a deal. You get a deal. That's right, Fred. You said it so much better than me. You get a deal. I get you your boxes. I can get you a deal. I get you free boxes. And tell a pizza, you know, an owner of pizza place, you get free boxes, he's gonna be like, all right, I'm listening. I get you free boxes. You do a little something me.

[B]

There you go.

[A]

We gotta do free pie here. You get free boxes. Maybe shuttle some. Some things in and out. Maybe I get access to the register and the bottom line. And you have an empty night. Nobody's there. And yet you still pulled in eight grand that night. It's a nice thing. You know, you guys are doing well. The restaurant can't close, but you are. Are no longer in charge of it. But, yeah, I learned that. I don't know if that still holds true, but at the time, that was one of the things they said, if you are getting pizza from a place that doesn't have a name on the box, that's getting a deal, they're getting a deal. Just be wary of that. And I'm like, I. It would have never. I still. Sometimes I'm like, well, what if the little pizza man has a name on his apron or something? It's evidently, it's just back then, it was just a pizza man throwing dough in the air. That was the dead giveaway because they weren't going to go special print your boxes. They had them already done. That's why you were getting a special deal. That's why they could hand you free boxes so they could launder money through your place. Oh, it's also fun. You people. You people, Brett, they're fun. I'm telling you. Talking about it's good stuff.

[B]

They're crafty.

[A]

That makes me wonder who. I mean, I wonder if it is going to keep going then. The other thing is, you know, and I know people get upset about this, and I'll get emails because people are triggered by this. Yesterday, Stephen A. Smith said, this is Trump's revenge. Like, you guys spent A couple of years in the, in that NBA and all that other stuff, attacking, marching against him, doing all this other stuff and like, you know, basically saying, this is your fault, this is your fault. He's, he's on a rampage. And there is a little truth to the idea. It's like, oh, Trump knows more than most presidents as far as the way he ran casinos in Atlantic City. He knows some of the New York Knicks were involved, he knows some of the New York jets and Giants were involved. He knows that stuff. And he's looking at them going, you're really going to, you're really going to badmouth me.

[B]

Okay, okay.

[A]

Game on. Game on. Yeah. Stooge unafraid to tear down some of the White House and just build what he wants. I mean, he knows the inner workings of a lot of seedy stuff and not in a political way, in a businessman's way. I'm sure Donald Trump's been to a couple of these and working in New York, he had to deal with the mob. Working in New York, he had to deal with some people, especially in construction and make deals, free pizza boxes. He's done that. So he knows who to talk to and who's that. So when Stephen A. Smith said that, I don't think that was too far fetched to say, you know what, if these pricks want to mouth badmouth me, they want to lip me, I got them dead to rights. Start looking into these few things. I mean whoever looks into poker games in the Hamptons, the FBI, really, this isn't a local authorities thing. This is makes a better movie again. The movie will be fantastic. Amazing stuff.

[B]

Mr. Patel, the president would like to see you again.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, look into this. Yeah, I think we've got a little thing here with the NFL and they have been very mouthy. So I don't know, they kind of turn around. Goodell kind of came around and started shaking hands with him and stuff. So I don't know if he'll go after them. But the NBA hasn't been exactly, you know, bastion of supporters, so we'll see. It's interesting. It gets better and better by the minute. Morning sickness medicate. K u p d Come on down.

[B]

To the Ranch House Grill.

[A]

Comfort food is your next meal.

[B]

Pork chili verde, chicken fried steak.

[A]

Ranch House knows you'll think it's great. Are you ready for the best breakfast in Phoenix? Ranch House Grill has been voted best breakfast four years in a row. We're famous for our chicken fried steak, pork chili verde and large portions located in the heart of Arcadia. Join us for breakfast or lunch seven days a week, 6am to 2pm We're a family restaurant with a small town atmosphere, serving Southwestern comfort food for 18 years. Come on down to the Ranch House Grill for the best breakfast in Phoenix. At 56th street and Thomas Road. Holmberg's morning sickness, hopefully. You know, I just. I do kind of hope it all just ends. They don't pull the sweater thread anymore so my stupid sports getaways can remain that rather than, oh, geez, there can't be a Utah Jazz anymore because every, definitely every one of them was doing something terrible. So they gotta tear, Tear parts of the league down once they realize how.

[B]

Many house games there are in every city.

[A]

Well, it was tough to watch Charles Barkley on ESPN last night. You know, this, the crazy. They need to keep an eye on gambling. The NBA, Mike. Charles, sh. You be quiet. You don't do that. The NBA dropped the ball. This was on them. They needed to do better. They needed to make sure that this was not happening. Like you in your prime were doing stuff with people for gaming. He loves gambling, he loves fighting. He did it in casinos. But I guarantee you, if they come up to him and said in Philadelphia, charles, come on down here, let's do some work here. Here's a couple hundred thousand dollars. You can do that, you're free, you can play all you want. We just need you to come in.

[B]

An appearance fee?

[A]

Yeah, it's an appearance fee. And you show up at this poker party and it's a blast. Yeah, I'm too naive to figure out any of that stuff. Hookers and weed and blow and all the stuff that just gets handed around, I'm still like, I still like grandma, that stuff. There's marijuana concerts, I expect, but if I'm in a room of people that I still get shocked. Like when some of the sales girls, you know, sit and go, oh, I need my vape and I gotta get, I gotta get lit. I'm like, geez, you do that. And I'm like, I'm such a Pollyanna when it comes to that stuff. Everybody in this room, oddly enough, we are all kind of non potheads. We don't, we don't smoke. We don't do any of the stuff. It's weird. But Charles don't care. I mean, the statute of limitations is gone for him. Maybe he'll just spit it out. You'd think so. I don't know if he's got that. That's gotta be seven years like everything else he's good. Not everything is good. He's good. All of these things are seven years. I don't know about you with your murder and no statute of limitations. We don't do that.

[B]

But I wouldn't.

[A]

Yep. Do it. No, I wouldn't either. Yeah. As all right, I guess. Money laundering and extortionist. Seven years for that too.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Is that right? Yeah, Absolutely. I didn't know that all of them were seven years. I know a few. I know a few were seven years. I know that swiping money out of a restaurant was seven years because I looked into that just in case they came safe now because we used to steal from that restaurant pretty regularly. And I can admit that now because, you know, oh, and plus the owner at a restaurant that would have to come after me had met with a terrible tragedy in a plane, which is true. Happens. I actually that's a terrible story. But it is true. I kind of sigh a relief when I saw that the owner of the restaurant I was working in had passed away in a plane crash. I didn't like that that had happened, but it did make. For selfish reasons. I exhaled a little like, okay, he'll never go back in the books. And this was like 15 years after I'd been done. But you still think about like, man, we were voiding stuff. And if you paid in cash, there was a good chance that was getting split between whoever the waiter was and we'd manipulate the numbers. We were. You put a bunch of 20 year olds in charge of a restaurant that at the time was making a million and a half dollars a year. We had our take o things walk. And then, I mean the reason. And you realize it by getting involved with the people in the restaurant who had worked in restaurants for years. I would have never done that. I didn't go in there without intention. I was, you know, squeaky clean. But the other people that would say, if you keep being clean, they're gonna catch us. Like, huh, you gotta get in. Or you're. And. Or they'd fire you. Like they got a bunch of people that were like, yeah, we're all. Some of the girls wouldn't do it. But they didn't, you know, they weren't going to rat. You had some. You know, I got totally involved because I wanted to be a bartender. And the bartender bill was like, if you don't void all this stuff, you know, your old friend Billy's going to go away for a little while. Like, what I need 200, and voids a night. What the hell? What if we don't have 200 in business? Figure it out, son. I do. I'm like, oh, all right. Well, that's how he trained me to work the register. And then after that, you hit void. Well, we just rang that drink. Order it. He paid in cash. Why would we ring it in and void it? So we know why the merchandise is leaving. And then we make up a story about how he was upset, so we gave him his money back. Oh, by the way, here's a bunch of gift cards. Oh, boy. These are to be used liberally. And then you have people come in and pay in cash. You'd use the gift cards that Bill had stolen. We keep the cash. Restaurant gets their gift cards. As in the some reason it worked. And I was never a big stealer. I had a, you know, I had a twenty to thirty dollar habit. The other guys, they started getting up to 3, 400 a day.

[B]

That's what they all say.

[A]

Oh, yeah, the word ticks Tix. Nice job, Brett. That's the 6am code word for the morning ticks. Not like you've got ticks. T I, C, K, T I X. Like tickets. Ticks is today's word for you for the 6am app promo code. If you get on that 6am one, you might win $1,000. And this is what everybody's asking, what if they get Jordan? You know, he's been part of this in the past seven years. He's good. Yeah, well, that's true. And he did his penance by being forced to play baseball for a couple of years. Or at least you're going to have a couple years off. What do you want to do? His dad took some time off. Permanently. His dad was taken care of. Good gambling. Nobody talks about the Michael Jordan thing being what it really was. The guy just really loved baseball. He couldn't wait to travel on a bus back and forth from Birmingham to Alcorn. Really, he was the king of earth. And he quit to play baseball because he loved it so much. And then this, like three years, the minute it ended, he's like, he just so happened to play baseball for the Bulls owner's other team. Just to keep him in the fold.

[B]

Bought the team a bus.

[A]

Bought him a bus because he realized, I ain't doing this one more day. I'm buying a better bus. Minor league baseball. Nobody who's the greatest. And people still don't believe that. People still think that Michael Jordan went to play baseball in the 90s because he just loved it. Stop it. He just wanted to know it could be great. And we knew the first week he's not a pro baseball player. If you ever watched any of the Scottsdale Scorpions games, when he came to fall league, he was terrible. And then he played spring for a minute, you're like, no, this guy is not a. He's not even close. He's not even close.

[B]

He had a nice foul ball.

[A]

Well, he's not even. He's an athlete. He's going to get a couple of pops in. But he's not a consistent baseball player. He couldn't do it. And if he loved it so much, how come he ran? He was done with basketball. Can be ran back the second he had a chance. That was all gambling. That's what they used to do with gambling. They used to be better at hiding it. Brett. People get sloppy. Yeah. That. People get sloppy. And then next thing you know, head coaches are in jail. It's a fact. Ticks tix. That's what you want to do. And go grab that and get in that promo code of nailed Eber fluz. Oh, if the Bears should have had.

[B]

It done, they just started.

[A]

The Bears have been shaving points and throwing games for years. That's what I'm going with. Years. This guy says, this is nice. I like this one, says John. I've been a longtime listener. I drive an hour to work every morning from Coolidge to Scottsdale. You guys are always on. I know. Brutal. You know, they have houses in between there. You can. Says I stream when I get to work. My girlfriend and I carpool and she thinks you're hilarious, but she only gets to listen to you for the first 15 minutes of your show. So she misses a lot. And a lot of the talks about women having to step up their game. I've started playing the podcast in the evening on the way home so she can hear all the other stuff you say and, you know, keep preaching, brother. It's working. These broads that stop trying as hard and then want us to continue to try to woo them. They need to hear what you say. Yeah. Thanks again. I'm going to send some pictures through the app. We went to Disneyland and saw something that we thought of you. I can't imagine why you go to Disneyland and take a picture of something you thought of me. Unless there was somebody, like, doing terrible things to Goofy. Anyway. Says, I've never won anything from a radio show, and I always thought that it was all pretty much faked, but guess who I am. The first winner in the take it in the app. So let everyone listening know you can really win if you play. Thanks again, Eric. Eric is the first winner for Take it in the app. And. And his girlfriend is.

[B]

He got a grand.

[A]

He's learning. Yeah, you got $1,000. His girlfriend is learning as she listens that, you know, if you want to stop trying, eventually you're going to start stop receiving. And then you're going to wonder what happened. So take notes, toots. Yeah, take notes, toots. The tattered T shirts and the sweatpants. And you wonder how come nobody's paying attention to you. Well, your fault. It's fine every once in a while to be comfortable. But all the time.

[B]

A girl thought of you at Disneyland. She saw Pinocchio.

[A]

Ready? We're off the Italians. I don't know what you're doing now. He's still in mob mode. He wants one of these games. He wants to be a fish. This guy says I have a crazy conspiracy theory I'd like to sell you. With all the gambling that's going on. I believe that Brady sells heroin to Gilbert Moms. Oh. His friend Tong is his Vietnamese connection. Like Frank Lucas, an American gangster. And Viet Shack is a front to launder all the cash. And now believe that Porkopolis was that too. Used to use it that way, but it was too much work. So now he makes Tong do that. Tell me I'm wrong and I'll still fight you, Jonathan. Yeah, I don't know.

[B]

He's talking about.

[A]

Yeah, you don't know. And his buddy Jimmy Bon Jovi takes him there all the time. I know he's got this new friend that flies all over the world that, you know, suddenly they're fl. Fast friends hanging out, gifts exchanged left and right. I got you another little something from Japan.

[B]

Bon Jovi. Good people.

[A]

Yeah, we like that. But yeah, that is. It is interesting because you're the only person I know that goes and asks, like meat managers and tour kitchens and things like that. That's more. That's a scouting mission, I would say.

[B]

The people that actually are in that are like, you're so stupid. You got everything, all the connections here. You're not doing anything with it.

[A]

What do you mean?

[B]

They're looking at me.

[A]

Oh, yeah? Yeah. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Why aren't you going to Steps? Because it happens at night.

[B]

I know.

[A]

That would be the problem. You'd need some day criminals because Brady's not staying up past nine to go do criminal activities. Card game at 9:30 P. You're insane. Sickness. 98K. You P D home. Bloomberg's morning sickness. It's. Yeah, it's kind of a fascinating thing to think that you could do that and it would be. You would be the person I least suspect. But however, in hindsight, it would be that moment, that revelation, like an inception, like, oh, I get it now. Because Brady always ends up going talk to the owner toward the kitchen, like, what? Why? Because I want to see their operation. And then later you realize, oh, he doesn't care about the chefs and their knives. See the operation. Where can we hide the tables and the money and the blow? I've never been to Viet shack.

[B]

What are you guys turning around in a year?

[A]

Would you like to pearl? You know, never have to worry about if you got another customer again. Viet check stays open. How would you like that? Yeah, that is strange. But you do know, you do talk to the people who, you get to know them, the owners of places, and then frequent there. Like, what was this, seven brothers burgers back when Brady was allowed to eat all this. That place still in business? Yeah.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

He's sneaking toward the kitchen on us. Make smash burgers on a grill. That's good. That's weird. Also, it's time to be self aware. I just saw this story last night and I'm like, this is the problem with Instagram. Instagram has created a bunch of people who think they're pretty. Instagram has created a bunch of people who think they're cool because they only do things that are cool and then present those to the public and then get comments back saying, you're cool. Plus, filters have made it so women in their 70s can think they're 30 again, and women who look like they're 70 can think they're 14. There's a few that you look at, you're like, that's a child. Like, you've filtered yourself down to eighth grade and you see that, but they see themselves now. That's how they look. They, they ignore their true warts and flaws because as they present to the world, you know, they're perfect. So there's, there's not a lot of self awareness anymore. Well, people taking advantage of that are now tech wizards. The Japanese. And the Japanese are sending incredibly hot women into Silicon Valley and things like that to start to kind of, you know, hobnob and schmooze with these tech guys at, you know, Google and all these up and coming places. And they just put out a warning up there and said that it goes for anyone in an industry that is like cutting edge. Or if you, if she's a 10 and you have to recognize you're not, and she came out of nowhere, she's stealing secrets, you're not. So that out kicked your coverage thing. That's right, out. If you're dating a 10 and China's doing it, Japan's doing it. The China especially is getting girls from Russia and China to come over. Kind of infiltrate these little groups of smart guys who are nerds and aren't getting laid by hot Asian Russian women. And they're put out warnings that basically, if she's a 10, you're an asset. 100%. Look in the mirror, ugly. Why has this never happened to you before? You don't have a lot of money, you're not good looking. Why does she like you? Oh, you have access to all the spy stuff. Uglies don't get that she is a spy. So they're waging us what they're calling sex warfare on the smart guys. We've got that chip factory building up there out there in the 303. We got the intel one way out there by ocotillo. If you're, if you, if you are.

[B]

Like, how many guys are applying right now?

[A]

Oh my God. Yeah. But to steal, Give China all our secrets. Yeah, there's a. Well, I don't know. I've been in America for a while and I have not had much luck with the ladies. I would very much like to take you home and have sex with your Indian pee pee. But this is a first for me. What else can I do for you? Why don't you let me take a look at your dossier? Anyone who says dossier to you is a spy. No, like nobody's looking into your life.

[B]

I want to learn.

[A]

Yeah. If you've got too hot a girlfriend and you're not a multi millionaire and you're not good looking, you're being played like a fiddle. If you got Dua lipa after you and you live on the avenues, you're. Come on, you're being played. If you're, if you're. If you've just got a card to get into the. To the Incredibly Tech Center. If you work at the nuclear power plant and a hot woman with an accent suddenly wants to blow you, you're an asset. That's it.

[B]

Got a whole new regime of jokes for Jeff Foxworthy.

[A]

Oh my God. Yeah, you might be an asset. If hot poon from another country suddenly takes interest in you, you're an asset. And you don't go out. You're Just constantly working on computers. And here's the reason I'm bringing this up. And I'm not throwing stones. I would fall for this. This is something that would hurt me greatly later. I would be a target. And I would give China a lot of secrets not knowing I'd done it. Get me a Chinese 10. She rolls up and out of nowhere. Hello, my friend. I've always liked big nosed, bald, middle aged. Okay, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Nobody says that. You make me laugh. Oh, here we go now. I would fall for it. I would. And I'm an uggo. So when you're an ugo. If Brady came rolling in with a hot. Like. Like she's a tan Russian, she's, you know, decked out.

[B]

I'm her teddy bear.

[A]

And yeah, you'd fall for it, too. Be like, oh, Brady. You realize that? And why is it we picked an industry with absolutely no trade secrets? So we tell what Greg said.

[B]

Big deal.

[A]

He's wrong, by the way. He's never been right. So all of our trade secrets are incredibly poor. No hot girls are trying to steal the future of radio. We're idiots. We got into a dummy's business. If you're a roofer, this never applies to you. Would you give government secrets away if that happened and not. I think you would. I think you'd be. I think you'd be naive enough to.

[B]

Wouldn't even realize it.

[A]

Yeah, I think you'd be naive enough to think. Because your mother. Yeah, your mother's told you how wonderful you are, that why wouldn't you help work. Exactly. And she's so involved in my. She just asked me questions about work all day. Nobody's ever taken this kind of interest. Brett. Maybe. Maybe I would fall for it in Harvey. Brett. Smile of oil skin and my guinea charm. The reason why is because I think. Yeah, I don't know that. I don't know that. That you're going to be a target. Because you seem like somebody that doesn't even tell your wife stuff. Like it's going to be tough to suck info out of him. You're sucking in. I'm. As. As you're wiping your face off. I'm giving you secrets to things I don't even know. I'm making stuff up. China's going to know everything without me realizing. That's what I've done. Yeah, that's. It's beware and be. If you're an ugly right now, just be on it and look at your wife like there and if she just showed up out of nowhere and all your friends are like, dude, what did you. I don't know. She just like met me at the bar and she. She's taking Chinese secrets. It's called sex warfare. Women do it on their own, but China's smart enough to actually employ them, have them go over and steal stuff. And evidently they, you know, it's all technology, AI based, everything. So if you work in the world of AI and you've got a hot new Chinese girlfriend, break up with her today. I know that's going to be hard, but Quan Lee's not in it for the love. She's basically a bo. No, my friend, she loves me very much. Says so all of the time. In fact, the first day we met, she said she loved me. When's the last time you ever saw that on? Indian with the accent, the short sleeve shirt, that from Kohl's, that's buttoned all the way to the top and pants pulled up to his cans with the hottest 10 you've ever seen. It doesn't happen. The only time you see a black woman with an Asian man is because she's tired of like feeling pain down there. She. She wanted a break. There's certain, there's certain mixes that you're like, this isn't right. This is not on the up and up. You'd have to be Shohei Ohtani to have a black girl. Black girls aren't going after the average Asian guy. It's just not a thing. However, flip that around. Black dudes love Asian women. They give up. They get. My God, if they. If you're a black guy who's average looking and you've got a new hot Asian girlfriend. I know that's really hard for. It's hard for you right now. You gotta break up with her. And. I know, I know, but you don't see tech geeks with tens unless they're Jeff Bezos. You have to be at that level. And even then, his tens are manufactured. You know? Who's the guy? The Amazon guy is Bezos, right? He's got that. Lauren Sanchez. She was built by a lab. Like, there's nothing about her that's. And it looks good. Weird science. She's weird science. It looks good, though. Like, the lips aren't human, the face is now cat. Like, the body's incredible. But she's also almost 60. So it's like.

[B]

And that's his mulligan.

[A]

That's the second. Yeah, that's the second one.

[B]

First one.

[A]

Look at Bill Gates, that woman was no charm. She was. No way she's stealing secrets for anybody. She looked. That looked appropriate. If China was smart, they wouldn't be firing over tens, they'd be firing over sixes. And then just laying on the charm, you'd train them back there in China to be, you know, kind of needy looking, but man, is she attentive to your needs. And she. And you teach them to blow and you teach them to take it in the app and they show up and these. These tech dudes won't know what to do. They won't. They won't have a clue. You finally get them off that stitch thing, you know, you'll finally get them off playing games at night. We're going out to the Olive Garden because she loves it so much. And a little secret, my friend Brett. My new girlfriend takes it in the app, so to speak. And she is. It is. Oh my God, it is. Relentless. App play. I cannot play with you tonight. The World of Warcraft or the hero or Halo or any of the others because I am going to be having anal sex with a hot girl. Non pixelated. Non pixelated. Yes. I do not have to pay. And I can see her face. It is amazing. Most of the ones I watch having anal sex on my virtual reality. I don't know. Do not show their face.

[B]

I was at tech company. I'd come up with a whole fake division, give them set up a little.

[A]

Internal sting, false information.

[B]

You're all higher ranked.

[A]

Brilliant. Yeah, you get nice. Yeah, here's what I need. Yeah, that's. And hire us. I would like to apply for that job as the decoy tech genius and.

[B]

Give them just bogus info.

[A]

Brady, I don't know if you noticed there may be nobody better than at Bull than me. I'd be perfect for this job. You put me in the things you've got to pretend to know all the tech secrets. I mean, you got it. And you give me a few things to. A few words to use and throw in a conversation that will fool us. This. This Russian smoker. I'm going out and I got a date with the Russian hawker. You giving her the secrets? Giving her more than that. They train him to come over here and take it in the ass the whole time and I'm giving her false information. That's a great movie right there.

[B]

Deep cover it.

[A]

Yes. Morning sickness. Medicate k u p D Holmberg's morning sickness. Dummy it and and make it so. And I'm your. I am your huckleberry. I don't know anything about that stuff. I'm an idiot. I can work a phone. That's about as far as it goes.

[B]

Give me 20 minutes.

[A]

Keep in mind intel and whatever that chip company's called. I don't even know your name.

[B]

SMC or something.

[A]

Cool. Thanks, Brady. I had to have Mike the IT Guy change the batteries in the mouse yesterday. I don't know anything. You want me to deflect these hot girls off of your employees? You got it. That is what I'm gonna do in retirement. Ugly guy who seems to know everything, doesn't know anything. Just fending off the hot girls from the guys who are actually getting the work done. Genius move there, Brady.

[B]

You've got your expense account.

[A]

Yeah. Look, pay me. I'll show up every day and I'll sit in an office, and I don't know what I'll do. I'll. I'll just stare at computer guys doing stuff I'll never understand. I'll probably play. I'll pro. Honestly, I'd probably just play. Red Dead Redemption. Old games. I won't even play any of the new ones. They're too hard. I'm not even good at. After the product's finished, playing it and figuring it out. You ever see Brady try to work the first scene in Red Dead I've heard about. Dude walked into the wall for about halfway. Died like 15 times in the tutorial. I didn't even know you could die in the tutorial. Brady drowned once, and it was snowing.

[B]

I got to the part where the wolves. You have to take them out.

[A]

That's the tutorial. They just show. Yeah, you're not supposed to die in the tutorial.

[B]

Here they come.

[A]

All right. Wolves stand there like, come on, asshole. Shoot like. You can't. You're not supposed to die in the tutorial. You were so bad at it that the tutorial ate you. Like, screw it, Plan R. He's not. He's not getting it. Kill this guy. Make him hate this. Oh, I remember watching Brady play at my house. Tiger woods golf. Oh, he tried to.

[B]

Good strokes.

[A]

You had no good strokes. And Tiger woods is standing over a ball on my big screen, and he's just duffing one about a foot and a half into a bush. I've never seen somebody lose it. Come on. That would never happen. That wouldn't happen. This is stupid. That wouldn't happen. You've got it. Wouldn't if it was the real Tiger Woods. But you are puppeteering him. You're the marionette.

[B]

Now.

[A]

Now now next. And then Tiger's like, geez, I just don't have it today. Come on. You're Tiger Woods. Even your bad shots are good. Lost his mind, Brady. I want to be the. I want to be the guy who does all the talking with his dopey little friend. Will be. Will be. Will be Operation Lowercase B. Because I'm the. You're the little O. And that will make it Operation lowercase B. Where the two of us go out to bars. Russians and Chinese operatives come and we are like. And they start talking to our little friend. What? No, no, no. I have to. And they're trained to deflect to us. You must talk to my supervisors. That is John and Brady. They are over there. Dude, I cannot speak to new hot girls. Because of course you may be, you know, Sex warfare. Would you please talk to them? They are my bosses. They know more than I do. And then the two of us. I just love. Take it in the app lady egonculator. We're doing something new with AI and she's just writing down secrets while Brady bangs. Oh, this is a plan.

[B]

Chips are falling out of my pocket.

[A]

Oops, I dropped. Our new AI super chip that cures cancer and stuff gonna make somebody a billion dollars someday. Oh my God. You do have the cheap. Let me put that in the purse for safety. Yeah, let me put some in your purse for safety, sister. Turn Brady into a man whore. To protect the. To protect America, usa. This is the most American thing you could ever come up with. Ugly guys banging these sex asset. Sex warfare spies. It's almost. It's almost gonna make me cry how American it is. It's a beautiful thing. So. And I'm perfect for it. I'm ugly. No one would believe Sex Warfare would attack like I would fall for it. So you put me out there knowing nothing about your product at all and say, just tell these girls whatever you think you know. Cuz I don't know nothing. And go save the United States. I know that's a little delusionally grand, but Tripp, you think Trip wouldn't be a monster at this? If I'm like, yeah, you gotta talk to. He's like the new CEO of the whole thing. And he just. He's single.

[B]

He is.

[A]

Yeah. That guy knows everything. He's like the most amazing person I've ever known. He's alright. Yeah. Can he still get an erection? I don't think so. Tripp, can you still get an erection? We both know the answer to that. Knock it off. Yeah, but he's great with his hands.

[B]

He's in charge of the new project.

[A]

Yeah, the oh trips. In charge of putting ugly guys in the. In the places to deflect.

[B]

12, 2000.

[A]

Charge the 50. Yeah. It was Elon Musk who alerted everybody too. If she's a 10, you're an asset. He's basically telling all his ugly employees, guys especially like space X and stuff he's doing that's very stealable. Billionaire stuff. When he hits a home run, it's billions of dollars and it takes control of the entire, you know, industry. And you don't want China to have that. We didn't even want them to have TikTok anymore because we were worried what they were doing with it. So take a look. If you've got. If you've got a hot Russian or a hot Chinese woman in bed with you right now and you're not that good looking, just waker was one of those. Just driving. I know what you're up to. You're not getting anything from me. The roofing company will be saved. And also recognize whether or not you're a target. If you're just an average dork who. Who knocked one out of the yard and you don't have any access to stuff that can like, change the world's future. You know, if you're a mechanic for RVs and things like what Brett used to be, it's like, yeah, if the hot Chinese spies come, she's not gonna. That's just a dumb girl that made a mistake. Or, you know, also, if it's a hot foreigner and you're an RV mechanic, she's just getting a green card. Like, why don't you people. I'd fall for it and it wouldn't even hurt my feelings. Like when she leaves in 90 days. Like I had that friend that he hired those Asian girls to come over and he married one and 90 days later, she just disappeared. Because back then they had a. You'd have to have meetings with people. Like the government would come by and meet with you and she stayed at the house and she was super awesome until the day she could leave and be free. She just left.

[B]

That's bottom line. She's coming in and doing it, right?

[A]

Absolutely. She gave him everything. Everything American women won't do. And then the day she left, he was all heartbroken and I'm like, get another one. I don't know. You fell in love in 90 days. Oh, he was married to her in 90 days. And then she had to stay for a certain amount of time while immigration officials came and interviewed them constantly, like, to make sure it was on the up and up. And they had to think, this can't be something real. He lived with his parents, and then his brother ordered one, and she showed up after the first one left. And they didn't know that that was the plan. They thought these girls would stay. And then his brother got one. His dad wanted one. His wife was like, absolutely not. But the wife liked her. Ronson's parents were like, you go get another one. They mowed the grass. They cleaned the house. They were slaves. They were playing the part. Like, do not get me in trouble. I'll do anything. And all they wanted to do was be American. He got him in. They went through the paperwork, he married her, got some sort of citizenship access. Stuck around until they said, all right, it's legit. You're a citizen. And then she just disappeared from the face of his life. And he was sad. Like, that's a program I'd get back on board with.

[B]

Runs a very successful donut shop.

[A]

Yes, I'm sure she's got an awesome donut shop. Ron is not. He's not in it. But his brother was gonna be a professional bowler. And that's when I knew, like, man, this hot Asian you've got on your arm, she ain't stay. And he knew it the second his brother's hot Asian came and went. 10 grand is what it cost in 1996 to have a girl fly over. And 10 grand's worth it. You never had to take her to dinner. She cooked every day, does the laundry, mows the lawn. It was 10 grand for the first 90, and then she had to stick around for a little bit after. But yeah. And I went to his house once, and she was outside mowing the grass. I'm like, what is going on? He goes, we don't even have to ask. She does everything. It was like Miyagi's backyard. It was amazing. You're spending 10 grand on the type of work you were getting, let alone. She was evidently just insatiable. Like, she wouldn't stop everything. He couldn't get here because he was kind of dopey. He had. He had the dream woman. And, yeah, it was fleeting, but he saved up money. He got one. She showed up, no questions asked, gave him everything he wanted. And then, I know women are like, that's gross. But that's better.

[B]

Our old boss, Chuck, had a friend.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

Had a good 25 year run with the first one.

[A]

Yeah. Ordered up a second. Yep. Chuck used to always come in. My friend just got a brand new one over there from, I don't know, Slantsville McChuck. We're not allowed to say that anymore. Well, it's hard to have dinner with him. And look at this 25 year old Asian girl who.

[B]

That's gorgeous.

[A]

And he. And he would say that all the time. Charlie, do you realize what you're doing? I know exactly what I'm doing, Chuck. Oh, for Christ's sake. And the reason Chuck was upset is because Charlie was dragging this broad around to like country club functions and putting it in the wives minds that this is an option. And they were getting mad at, like his wife was getting mad at him. You can't hang out with Charlie anymore because she thought he's gonna plant bad ideas in your head and make you want one of those. And who was the happiest guy you've ever met in your life? Charlie was 70. And I've never met a more spry, happy man. Even when he started like getting real sick at the end, still you. Hey, it's great to see you, buddy. I've had the best last 10 years ever. He ordered one up. And she stuck around because he had money so he could keep paying her to stuff. Okay, so she lasted longer than the night. She stays. Okay. And also she stayed and stuck around and got all the assets, I think like kids and her. Oh, he's got this Taiwanese spinner that shows up and God damn it, if it's not ruining my life, why? And Mary gets angry that I hang out with him. Of course she does. This dude's got the blueprint for happiness and she ain't giving you that. I love my wife very much. My God, this little Asian thing. Yeah, it was pretty. It was pretty remarkable. So just be careful if you're ugly. She's a smoker. She's from another country. And she showed up out of nowhere. Wake her with one of those. Oh, no, no, no, no. I could never. She's. Nikita loves me. No, she doesn't. No, she doesn't. She loves your ideas. Let's get a wake up song. Five eight, five nine, eight hundred. A good one. We'll scream it together, you sex assets. It's 98 KUPD. Wake up. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock illustration.